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1
00:00:02,608 --> 00:00:05,281
I think
it's important to remember
2
00:00:05,347 --> 00:00:07,485
just because
you had a bad day
3
00:00:07,551 --> 00:00:09,756
doesn't mean you're a bad dog.
4
00:00:09,822 --> 00:00:11,928
You're a good dog, Elsa.
You're a good dog.
5
00:00:11,994 --> 00:00:12,628
Good dog.
6
00:00:12,695 --> 00:00:14,499
I prefer not to be limited
7
00:00:14,565 --> 00:00:16,069
by the gooddog/baddog binary.
8
00:00:16,136 --> 00:00:17,171
It's a spectrum,
9
00:00:17,238 --> 00:00:20,377
and I live somewhere
between compliant and frisky.
10
00:00:20,444 --> 00:00:21,413
You know,
I think I'm somewhere
11
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,650
between not a dog and a cat.
12
00:00:23,717 --> 00:00:25,020
I'm all cat, baby.
13
00:00:25,087 --> 00:00:27,191
Domestic in the shack,
feral in the sack.
14
00:00:27,258 --> 00:00:28,226
Yuck.
15
00:00:28,293 --> 00:00:31,232
If The Gray One
is done humiliating himself...
16
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,735
Never.
I have a share.
17
00:00:32,802 --> 00:00:35,774
I've been thinking about the
untimely loss of Big Cookie,
18
00:00:35,841 --> 00:00:38,046
our furry friend
and group member,
19
00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:40,551
And it's brought up
a lot of feelings about...
20
00:00:40,617 --> 00:00:42,088
myself.
21
00:00:42,154 --> 00:00:43,690
Will I ever find love again?
[barking]
22
00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:45,962
Come back here,
you stinking tree rats!
23
00:00:46,029 --> 00:00:49,535
Or am I destined to a life
of random backyard trysts?
24
00:00:49,602 --> 00:00:50,704
Oh, you think
you can hide from me?
25
00:00:50,771 --> 00:00:53,945
Nameless, faceless encounters
under the trampoline.
26
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,549
I know you're around here
somewhere.
27
00:00:56,616 --> 00:00:59,022
Just pounding, pounding away
in darkness.
28
00:00:59,088 --> 00:01:00,057
Whoa.
29
00:01:00,257 --> 00:01:03,230
Chief, you're not supposed to
be in here during group.
30
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:04,866
Come on out.
31
00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:08,507
I eat furry little freaks
like you for breakfast.
32
00:01:08,573 --> 00:01:09,842
I know
you're not talking to me.
33
00:01:09,910 --> 00:01:12,348
Aha!
I see you nut hustlers,
34
00:01:12,415 --> 00:01:13,617
and I'm coming for you!
35
00:01:13,683 --> 00:01:15,254
Dude, you know the squirrels
are on the other side of the
36
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,423
[grunts]
37
00:01:16,489 --> 00:01:18,560
Glass.
38
00:01:18,627 --> 00:01:20,164
[squirrels chattering]
39
00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:21,166
Go on, Shel.
40
00:01:21,232 --> 00:01:23,570
You were pounding,
pounding away in the dark?
41
00:01:23,637 --> 00:01:26,643
[upbeat rock music]
42
00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:28,080
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff
43
00:01:28,146 --> 00:01:30,417
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
44
00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:31,753
♪
45
00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:34,258
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff
46
00:01:34,325 --> 00:01:36,696
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
47
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,366
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff
48
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:39,836
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow
49
00:01:39,902 --> 00:01:41,974
♪ Ruff, ruff
♪ Meow, meow
50
00:01:42,041 --> 00:01:43,978
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow
51
00:01:44,045 --> 00:01:45,781
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff
♪ Meow, meow, meow
52
00:01:45,848 --> 00:01:47,318
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow
53
00:01:47,384 --> 00:01:50,290
[music crescendos]
54
00:01:50,357 --> 00:01:57,138
♪
55
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,773
[laughing]
56
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,348
We're frolicking!
Frolicking hard!
57
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,018
Go long!
58
00:02:04,085 --> 00:02:06,122
I got it!
59
00:02:06,189 --> 00:02:08,326
Luckily, I'm a merdog.
60
00:02:08,393 --> 00:02:11,299
[whimsical music]
61
00:02:11,366 --> 00:02:13,637
♪
62
00:02:13,703 --> 00:02:15,607
[yelps]
Ah!
63
00:02:15,674 --> 00:02:16,911
I'm so sorry,
I thought you were a
64
00:02:16,977 --> 00:02:19,448
A ball?
I know you [bleep] merdogs
65
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:21,653
think everything's
a [bleep] ball.
66
00:02:21,719 --> 00:02:24,058
Jellyfish are so angry.
67
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,573
Big Cookie?
Goodbye, Honey.
68
00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:33,476
Big Cookie,
where are you going?
69
00:02:33,543 --> 00:02:36,216
My ride's here.
Say goodbye, Honey.
70
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:37,585
No!
Come back!
71
00:02:37,651 --> 00:02:39,722
♪
72
00:02:39,789 --> 00:02:43,296
I can drive and stick
my head out the window?
73
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:45,467
This is heaven!
74
00:02:45,534 --> 00:02:48,473
[whimpering]
Big Cookie, come back.
75
00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:49,709
[snoring]
76
00:02:49,775 --> 00:02:52,448
[sighs]
Chief, wake up.
77
00:02:52,514 --> 00:02:54,118
Yeah, what?
I'm up.
78
00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:55,520
[grunts]
79
00:02:55,587 --> 00:02:57,324
Listen,
I had that dream again.
80
00:02:57,391 --> 00:02:58,660
Not the one where I'm human,
81
00:02:58,727 --> 00:03:00,264
but I can still poop
anywhere...
82
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:01,366
Uhhuh.
83
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:02,768
But the one where
I'm a gorgeous merdog,
84
00:03:02,835 --> 00:03:04,472
and Big Cookie drives away
in the heaven car.
85
00:03:04,538 --> 00:03:05,607
Uhhuh.
Wonder what it means.
86
00:03:05,674 --> 00:03:08,948
Mmhmm, mmhmm, you know,
I had a dream last night.
87
00:03:09,015 --> 00:03:10,751
Really?
Yeah, I mean,
88
00:03:10,817 --> 00:03:12,621
it's kinda hard to remember
all the details,
89
00:03:12,688 --> 00:03:15,093
but the basic gist of it was...
90
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,629
[farts]
91
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:19,302
[laughs]
I walked right into that one.
92
00:03:19,368 --> 00:03:20,671
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
93
00:03:20,737 --> 00:03:22,775
I actually really did
have a dream last night.
94
00:03:22,841 --> 00:03:24,612
Oh, for real?
Okay, wow, what was it?
95
00:03:24,679 --> 00:03:26,549
[farts]
That one was my fault.
96
00:03:26,616 --> 00:03:29,121
[farts]
All right, now it's too much.
97
00:03:29,188 --> 00:03:30,023
[farts]
98
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,793
Okay, let's wrap up
the fart jokes.
99
00:03:31,859 --> 00:03:34,865
Actually those stopped
being jokes two farts ago.
100
00:03:34,933 --> 00:03:36,970
I've heard Jill
tell her patients
101
00:03:37,037 --> 00:03:38,974
that sometimes a dream
is just a dream,
102
00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:40,877
but this one
has to mean something
103
00:03:40,945 --> 00:03:43,283
Hey, you're a dog!
I'm a dog!
104
00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:44,285
We're dogs.
105
00:03:44,352 --> 00:03:45,554
[laughs]
Dogs.
106
00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:46,924
Well, that's a good point,
107
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:49,362
but I still think
there's a deeper meaning.
108
00:03:49,428 --> 00:03:51,599
Wait, I know what it is!
109
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,603
Now that Big Cookie's
in the heaven car,
110
00:03:53,670 --> 00:03:55,741
there's an open spot
on the couch!
111
00:03:55,807 --> 00:03:59,382
It's time to introduce
a new member to the group!
112
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:00,450
Nailed it!
113
00:04:00,517 --> 00:04:01,786
[warm music]
114
00:04:01,853 --> 00:04:05,093
Run free!
Ooh, ooh.
115
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,264
Mine.
Mine.
116
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,533
Mine. Mine.
117
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,172
Mine.
And mine.
118
00:04:11,239 --> 00:04:12,541
[laughs]
119
00:04:12,608 --> 00:04:14,845
Who could benefit
from some therapy
120
00:04:14,913 --> 00:04:16,816
but also not scoot
on Jill's rug?
121
00:04:16,883 --> 00:04:19,155
You wanna get in on this?
[laughs]
122
00:04:19,221 --> 00:04:20,557
Me?
No.
123
00:04:20,624 --> 00:04:21,692
[chuckles]
I'm flattered, but no.
124
00:04:21,759 --> 00:04:23,263
Bingo.
125
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,700
Oh, wait, that's not his name.
It's Diablo.
126
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,373
It's not the same here
without Big Cookie, huh?
127
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,442
No.
128
00:04:29,508 --> 00:04:31,279
I know you lost
your best friend,
129
00:04:31,345 --> 00:04:34,418
but you've still got
your vest friend.
130
00:04:34,485 --> 00:04:35,787
I'm talking about me.
131
00:04:35,854 --> 00:04:37,391
I got that, Elsa.
Yeah.
132
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:39,862
I'm free now if you want
to dig into the trauma
133
00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:41,766
of your sudden
and devastating loss.
134
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:43,938
Oh, that's okay.
I'm actually good, thanks.
135
00:04:44,004 --> 00:04:46,042
You're not, but I'm here
when you're ready.
136
00:04:46,108 --> 00:04:47,144
[whispers]
Poor thing.
137
00:04:47,211 --> 00:04:48,880
Hey, Diablo.
Oh, hey, Honey.
138
00:04:48,948 --> 00:04:51,586
Are you tired of having
complicated emotions
139
00:04:51,652 --> 00:04:52,922
and not knowing
how to process them?
140
00:04:52,989 --> 00:04:55,026
No, but I am scared
of the toaster.
141
00:04:55,093 --> 00:04:57,898
Perfect, a spot has opened up
in my group
142
00:04:57,966 --> 00:04:59,602
if you're interested
in joining.
143
00:04:59,668 --> 00:05:01,305
Will there be toasters there?
One.
144
00:05:01,372 --> 00:05:03,343
But I'll make it stay
in the kitchen.
145
00:05:03,409 --> 00:05:06,516
[humming]
146
00:05:08,419 --> 00:05:11,592
Well, well, well.
Who is that?
147
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,931
Just about
the most fetching tortoise
148
00:05:13,998 --> 00:05:15,767
I've ever laid eyes on.
149
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:19,441
Oh, my goodness,
my heart is all aflutter.
150
00:05:22,648 --> 00:05:25,220
Dare I introduce myself?
151
00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:26,756
Greetings, I
152
00:05:26,822 --> 00:05:28,459
Oh, wait, no, no!
153
00:05:28,526 --> 00:05:30,230
I shall return!
154
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,100
[upbeat music]
155
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:35,073
Okay, sweeties,
see you tonight.
156
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:35,774
[laughs]
157
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,311
Oh, my God.
This is it.
158
00:05:37,377 --> 00:05:39,916
She's leaving us forever
like she does every day!
159
00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:42,854
And Bubbles,
stay out of the liquor cabinet.
160
00:05:43,723 --> 00:05:46,195
And they say women
aren't funny.
161
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,731
[munching]
162
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:49,335
I'm just not ready
for a new member.
163
00:05:49,401 --> 00:05:51,539
Yes, it feel too soon
to replace Big Cookie.
164
00:05:51,606 --> 00:05:53,042
Yeah, Tabitha's right.
165
00:05:53,109 --> 00:05:54,244
Agreeing with Tabitha's
166
00:05:54,311 --> 00:05:55,982
not gonna get you
into her fur, man.
167
00:05:56,048 --> 00:05:58,853
I hear you, guys, but
Big Cookie was my best friend,
168
00:05:58,921 --> 00:06:01,292
and you know what she'd say
about moving on.
169
00:06:01,359 --> 00:06:02,461
[Australian accent]
Aw, it's about time.
170
00:06:02,527 --> 00:06:03,630
Good on, ya!
171
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,200
Why are you making
her Australian?
172
00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:08,439
Listen, mama, we don't
wanna open our safe space
173
00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:10,677
to some random wirehaired
174
00:06:10,744 --> 00:06:12,714
sweater wearing halfbreed.
175
00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:14,418
I haven't really been
to therapy before.
176
00:06:14,485 --> 00:06:16,188
Do the sessions
always start like this?
177
00:06:16,255 --> 00:06:17,724
I would like to flag...
Here we go.
178
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:21,365
That I was triggered when
Max used the term "halfbreed."
179
00:06:21,432 --> 00:06:25,173
So can we please use the term
"Mosaic Canine"?
180
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,079
I'm triggered by the fact
that you look like a piñata
181
00:06:28,146 --> 00:06:29,682
mated with a loaf of bread.
182
00:06:29,748 --> 00:06:32,754
Well, you look like a
[stammers]
183
00:06:32,821 --> 00:06:34,558
Honey!
Bubbles, can you please
184
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:35,961
keep your comments to yourself?
185
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,898
You're not an official
member of the group.
186
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:40,870
Oh, right,
let me just move my bowl.
187
00:06:40,938 --> 00:06:42,909
Why don't we all
go around the room
188
00:06:42,975 --> 00:06:44,745
and tell Diablo
a little bit about ourselves.
189
00:06:44,812 --> 00:06:46,515
This is why
I dread new members.
190
00:06:46,582 --> 00:06:49,388
I'm Honey, I'm passionate
about working on myself,
191
00:06:49,455 --> 00:06:50,590
and peanut butter.
192
00:06:50,657 --> 00:06:52,394
Uh, same
re: peanut butter.
193
00:06:52,461 --> 00:06:54,698
Uh, crazy.
I never talked about that.
194
00:06:54,765 --> 00:06:57,437
Um, I'm Elsa, service dog.
Thank you.
195
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,577
Uh, I answer to she/her/hers
and... [whistles]
196
00:07:00,643 --> 00:07:02,681
And I'm kind of the unofficial
197
00:07:02,748 --> 00:07:04,351
coleader of the group.
198
00:07:04,418 --> 00:07:05,286
She's not!
Nope.
199
00:07:05,353 --> 00:07:06,288
Well, I'm Max.
200
00:07:06,355 --> 00:07:08,526
I belong to a big,
famous movie star.
201
00:07:08,593 --> 00:07:10,931
These guys know
I can't reveal his identity,
202
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,200
the NDA and all,
203
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:14,104
but let's just say
his name was Ocean,
204
00:07:14,171 --> 00:07:16,208
and he had 11 friends.
205
00:07:16,275 --> 00:07:18,212
And then 12.
And then 13.
206
00:07:18,279 --> 00:07:19,815
And then he had 8,
and they were all chicks.
207
00:07:19,882 --> 00:07:20,784
Okay, I'm done.
208
00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:23,256
I'm Tabitha,
Pretty Kitty Kitty Litter's
209
00:07:23,322 --> 00:07:25,894
"Prettiest Kitty" 2010 to 2014.
210
00:07:25,961 --> 00:07:28,733
I'm The Gray One.
I live with a nice lady
211
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,872
and anywhere from 40
to 60 other cats.
212
00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:33,876
[all meowing]
213
00:07:33,944 --> 00:07:36,415
And I know every word to
the movie, "In Her Shoes."
214
00:07:36,482 --> 00:07:38,553
I'm Chico.
I have a really happy,
215
00:07:38,619 --> 00:07:41,425
healthy relationship with my
best friend and owner, Kevin,
216
00:07:41,492 --> 00:07:43,763
and when he leaves,
I eat uncontrollably,
217
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,166
but when he comes back
I'm fine,
218
00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:46,702
so I'm just here
for maintenance.
219
00:07:46,769 --> 00:07:47,905
My name is Nibbles,
220
00:07:47,972 --> 00:07:50,243
and I'm mourning
the loss of my mate.
221
00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:51,645
She killed him
and ate his face!
222
00:07:51,712 --> 00:07:53,382
It was selfdefense!
223
00:07:53,449 --> 00:07:55,053
Maybe.
Tchotchke?
224
00:07:57,224 --> 00:07:58,292
Adorable.
225
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:01,732
So, Diablo, why don't you tell
us a little bit about yourself?
226
00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:02,868
I feel like you
weren't picking up
227
00:08:02,935 --> 00:08:05,206
what I was laying down earlier
about my human, right?
228
00:08:05,273 --> 00:08:08,079
Any guesses?
He was the best Batman.
229
00:08:08,145 --> 00:08:10,049
He owns a tequila company.
230
00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:11,552
Guys! [panting]
231
00:08:11,619 --> 00:08:12,989
Sorry I'm late.
232
00:08:13,055 --> 00:08:14,324
I have incredible news.
233
00:08:14,391 --> 00:08:17,530
As you know,
it's been 15 years since
234
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,733
Uh, who's this?
235
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,169
Ignore him.
Okay.
236
00:08:20,236 --> 00:08:24,044
It's been 15 years since
my sweet Darla's disappearance,
237
00:08:24,111 --> 00:08:27,384
and I have often wondered
if my chance for happiness
238
00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:28,352
vanished with her.
239
00:08:28,419 --> 00:08:30,290
Uh, Shel,
we have a new member,
240
00:08:30,356 --> 00:08:31,659
and it's his turn to share.
241
00:08:31,725 --> 00:08:33,429
I've met someone!
Yeah!
242
00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:36,702
Her shell is the most
exotic shade of brownish.
243
00:08:36,769 --> 00:08:38,773
But I fear it may be too soon
244
00:08:38,839 --> 00:08:41,612
for me to get back out there.
Feedback?
245
00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:43,984
You shouldn't feel guilty.
Darla is probably dead.
246
00:08:44,051 --> 00:08:46,288
Yeah, you should hit that.
I agree.
247
00:08:46,355 --> 00:08:49,428
Okay, Diablo,
let's hear from you now.
248
00:08:49,494 --> 00:08:52,434
Okay, um
My human's got new kitten!
249
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:55,473
Tabitha!
We'll get to you after Diablo.
250
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:56,575
Kay?
Okay.
251
00:08:56,642 --> 00:08:57,711
Her name is Kit Kat.
252
00:08:57,777 --> 00:08:59,514
She's getting lot,
lot attention.
253
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,251
And you know, I get it,
she's cute,
254
00:09:01,318 --> 00:09:02,687
she fit in a drinking glass.
255
00:09:02,754 --> 00:09:04,324
You know what
I used to fit into?
256
00:09:04,391 --> 00:09:05,660
A shot glass.
257
00:09:05,727 --> 00:09:07,932
[grunts]
258
00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:09,267
[meows]
259
00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:12,240
It hurt, but I did it.
You know why?
260
00:09:12,307 --> 00:09:14,444
Because it was cute,
people love it.
261
00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:16,248
But now, it's like
I'm invisible.
262
00:09:16,315 --> 00:09:18,486
I might as well be Chico.
I'm sorry, what?
263
00:09:18,552 --> 00:09:21,258
Wow, everybody has
so much to talk about today.
264
00:09:21,325 --> 00:09:22,861
Kind of wish
we could have discussed
265
00:09:22,928 --> 00:09:24,064
some of this last session
266
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,702
when we spent an hour trying
to describe the color green.
267
00:09:26,769 --> 00:09:28,339
I still say it's bumpy.
268
00:09:28,406 --> 00:09:29,875
Okay, well,
we're not going back there.
269
00:09:29,942 --> 00:09:31,779
Whatwhat I'd like to do
270
00:09:31,845 --> 00:09:33,382
is make our new member
feel welcome.
271
00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:35,219
Diablo,
why don't you jump in
272
00:09:35,286 --> 00:09:36,355
and tell us
a little bit about your
273
00:09:36,422 --> 00:09:38,426
Yes, the coyote sightings.
274
00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:40,430
Oh, is that what
I was gonna talk about?
275
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,600
Yes.
How's everybody coping?
276
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:43,970
Elsa, please!
277
00:09:44,037 --> 00:09:45,640
Wait, there's a coyote
in the neighborhood?
278
00:09:45,706 --> 00:09:47,277
All the raccoons
are talking about it.
279
00:09:47,343 --> 00:09:49,381
My cousin ran off
with a coyote.
280
00:09:49,448 --> 00:09:51,285
Completely blew up her life,
281
00:09:51,351 --> 00:09:53,589
and now she lives with him
in the wild.
282
00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:55,860
I don't even think
she knows about my vest.
283
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,067
Ran off into the wild?
Like an animal?
284
00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:01,305
That is so...
[laughs]
285
00:10:01,371 --> 00:10:03,442
Dangerous.
You know what?
286
00:10:03,509 --> 00:10:05,680
Let's table the coyote
discussion for now
287
00:10:05,746 --> 00:10:06,916
and let Diablo have the floor
288
00:10:06,983 --> 00:10:08,052
for the remainder
of the session.
289
00:10:08,119 --> 00:10:11,692
Okay, well, um, my humans
are getting a divorce
290
00:10:11,758 --> 00:10:13,195
Sorry, I've gotta flag it.
291
00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:14,297
We're out of time.
292
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,867
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no.
Thatthat's fine.
293
00:10:15,934 --> 00:10:18,372
It's George Clooney!
I live with George Clooney!
294
00:10:18,439 --> 00:10:19,541
God, what the hell
is wrong with you?
295
00:10:19,608 --> 00:10:21,345
[sighs]
296
00:10:25,086 --> 00:10:26,088
[upbeat music]
297
00:10:26,155 --> 00:10:27,457
[growls]
Ow!
298
00:10:27,524 --> 00:10:30,964
I can't believe how rude
they were to Diablo.
299
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,333
They weren't even open
to him at all.
300
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,337
Talk about not being open.
Ow.
301
00:10:34,404 --> 00:10:36,408
It's time for us all
to move on.
302
00:10:36,475 --> 00:10:39,047
Oh, he's always
liked you better.
303
00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:40,650
[munching]
304
00:10:40,716 --> 00:10:43,789
Thank God Jill's never
plopped some stupid goldfish
305
00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:46,963
in my bowl and expected me
to live happily ever after.
306
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:48,265
You've got a lot of anger
307
00:10:48,332 --> 00:10:50,870
packed into that
squishy fish body of yours.
308
00:10:50,938 --> 00:10:52,942
I can help you with that.
Gross.
309
00:10:53,008 --> 00:10:56,315
[snoring]
310
00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,686
[yawns]
[grunts]
311
00:11:00,156 --> 00:11:02,093
[howling]
312
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,032
[dramatic music]
313
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,904
♪
314
00:11:07,972 --> 00:11:09,741
[gasps]
The coyote.
315
00:11:10,978 --> 00:11:13,082
Wait, all I have to do
316
00:11:13,148 --> 00:11:14,217
is spend the night
317
00:11:14,284 --> 00:11:16,888
in this haunted,
chicken flavored mansion,
318
00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:18,960
and it's all mine?
[laughs]
319
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:20,663
Okay.
320
00:11:22,935 --> 00:11:25,506
[upbeat music]
321
00:11:26,408 --> 00:11:28,947
So you guys know
I'm totes kewl,
322
00:11:29,014 --> 00:11:31,518
but it is three minutes past
the starting time, and we
323
00:11:31,585 --> 00:11:33,489
Yeah, no, I know
what time it is, Elsa.
324
00:11:33,555 --> 00:11:34,457
I can smell.
325
00:11:34,524 --> 00:11:36,528
I was hoping Diablo
was just running late
326
00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:39,100
because he got pinned
under a leaf or something,
327
00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:41,071
but it's clear
he's not coming today,
328
00:11:41,138 --> 00:11:43,509
and I think I know why.
He sucks!
329
00:11:43,575 --> 00:11:46,715
No, I think it has more to do
with the way he was treated.
330
00:11:46,782 --> 00:11:49,220
I can't stay silent
any longer!
331
00:11:49,287 --> 00:11:51,458
The session haven't even
started yet.
332
00:11:51,525 --> 00:11:54,164
I took your advice
and made an overture
333
00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:56,234
towards my potential paramour.
334
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:58,238
But it turns out, um,
335
00:11:58,305 --> 00:12:00,609
I misinterpreted the situation.
336
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:03,115
I could get lost in those eyes.
337
00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:05,386
I feel we both want
the same thing,
338
00:12:05,453 --> 00:12:09,094
but please let me know
if I'm misreading your signals.
339
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,100
[moaning squeakily]
340
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,335
[funky music]
341
00:12:13,402 --> 00:12:14,771
Falling for you...
342
00:12:14,838 --> 00:12:17,710
♪
343
00:12:17,777 --> 00:12:19,647
Huh?
344
00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:21,184
She was a shoe.
345
00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:24,224
A Croc, to be specific.
346
00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:27,663
I didn't realize
until after we made love.
347
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:28,732
That seems late.
348
00:12:28,799 --> 00:12:30,937
You're the ones
who told me to hit that,
349
00:12:31,004 --> 00:12:33,742
and I did, hard.
350
00:12:33,809 --> 00:12:36,916
Well, okay, we didn't exactly
have all the information.
351
00:12:36,983 --> 00:12:38,585
Dude, I like this for you.
352
00:12:38,652 --> 00:12:42,226
I've been waiting 15 years
someone to look at me
353
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:45,065
the way I thought that Croc
was looking at me.
354
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,635
The reminds me of a story
355
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:50,009
that Leo DiCaps once told me
about a flipflop.
356
00:12:50,075 --> 00:12:52,146
Miami Film Festival
No, NO!
357
00:12:52,213 --> 00:12:54,217
Every session,
all I do is listen to you,
358
00:12:54,284 --> 00:12:56,855
but do I ever get a turn?
Feels like she does.
359
00:12:56,923 --> 00:12:58,292
I don't, Tabitha.
360
00:12:58,358 --> 00:13:00,229
Yes, I heard your very loud
stage whisper.
361
00:13:00,296 --> 00:13:02,366
The way you treated
Diablo last time
362
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,471
was not okay.
Not okay!
363
00:13:04,537 --> 00:13:06,475
Elsa, not now!
Not now!
364
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:08,913
We're supposed to be here
for each other.
365
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,382
We were all here for Tabitha
366
00:13:10,449 --> 00:13:12,553
when Stelios dyed her
hot pink,
367
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:15,927
for Elsa when her owner
left her at the Fyre Festival,
368
00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:18,665
and for Max when he farted
on Dame Judi Dench.
369
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:19,634
[farts]
370
00:13:19,701 --> 00:13:22,640
And we should have
been here for Diablo.
371
00:13:22,707 --> 00:13:23,742
He needed us.
372
00:13:23,809 --> 00:13:26,381
Well, the group was
already a little dog heavy.
373
00:13:26,448 --> 00:13:29,754
And we need him
to fill Big Cookie's spot.
374
00:13:29,821 --> 00:13:31,491
With all due respect,
Doctor Honey,
375
00:13:31,558 --> 00:13:33,529
we told you we weren't ready
for a new member.
376
00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:35,132
And you ignored us.
377
00:13:35,199 --> 00:13:36,936
I'm still processing.
378
00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:38,505
Can we get back to me?
all: No!
379
00:13:38,572 --> 00:13:40,075
Tchotchke's upset!
380
00:13:41,144 --> 00:13:43,181
I think you were doing
what was for you
381
00:13:43,248 --> 00:13:44,250
and not what was best for us.
382
00:13:44,317 --> 00:13:48,091
I expect that kind of crap
from my humans and Elsa,
383
00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:49,827
but not from you.
Me?
384
00:13:49,894 --> 00:13:52,099
And Max.
No, Nibbles is the worst.
385
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,304
All right, I did it!
I killed them!
386
00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:56,575
I killed them all!
That's hot.
387
00:13:56,641 --> 00:13:58,278
So I'm hearing that you all
388
00:13:58,345 --> 00:14:00,149
don't trust my judgment
on this one,
389
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,019
and if I've lost
everyone's trust,
390
00:14:02,086 --> 00:14:04,257
then I can't help you.
391
00:14:04,324 --> 00:14:06,361
You know where
the doggie door is.
392
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,334
Kitchen, right?
393
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,971
Mmm, I won't lie.
394
00:14:11,037 --> 00:14:12,406
The other night was magical,
395
00:14:12,473 --> 00:14:15,212
but we both know
that this will never work...
396
00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:16,381
[crying]
397
00:14:16,448 --> 00:14:20,089
I promised myself
I wouldn't cry!
398
00:14:20,155 --> 00:14:23,629
You awakened a part of me...
399
00:14:23,695 --> 00:14:26,067
[sobbing]
400
00:14:26,134 --> 00:14:30,009
But it's not fair to you...
So, bye.
401
00:14:30,075 --> 00:14:32,013
[dramatic music]
402
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,183
[barking]
[growls]
403
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,987
Hey, do you wanna play
404
00:14:36,054 --> 00:14:37,857
"It'smyballno
it'smyballnoit'smyball?"
405
00:14:37,924 --> 00:14:40,896
Oh, I would love to,
but I am swamped.
406
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:44,103
There's a bee in this flower.
A real jerk too.
407
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,873
He's all, "Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz."
408
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:47,510
Thinks he's so great.
409
00:14:47,576 --> 00:14:50,115
Okay, well,
just don't get stung.
410
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:52,119
[laughs]
Okay, yeah,
411
00:14:52,186 --> 00:14:53,455
I think I know
a little something
412
00:14:53,522 --> 00:14:55,826
about bees and flowers,
thank you very much.
413
00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:57,830
But hit me up again
about ball later.
414
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,135
[barking]
415
00:15:00,202 --> 00:15:03,241
[crying]
Can Big Cookie hear us?
416
00:15:03,308 --> 00:15:05,679
[crying]
417
00:15:05,746 --> 00:15:07,316
I don't know, sweetheart.
418
00:15:07,383 --> 00:15:09,187
Why don't we just
get a new dog?
419
00:15:09,253 --> 00:15:11,758
We can't move on
until we say goodbye.
420
00:15:11,825 --> 00:15:12,860
[somber music]
421
00:15:12,928 --> 00:15:14,731
[crying]
422
00:15:14,797 --> 00:15:16,969
[sighs]
423
00:15:17,036 --> 00:15:19,006
Oh, I get it now.
424
00:15:19,073 --> 00:15:20,977
There's been an escalation!
425
00:15:21,044 --> 00:15:23,983
[all screaming]
426
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,488
Get the EpiPen!
427
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,331
[upbeat music]
428
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:32,867
Well, thank you all
for coming
429
00:15:32,934 --> 00:15:35,606
to this emergency session.
It wasn't convenient.
430
00:15:35,672 --> 00:15:39,313
I want to apologize for
the way things ended last time.
431
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:40,716
You guys were right,
432
00:15:40,783 --> 00:15:42,720
I pushed Diablo on you
before you were ready
433
00:15:42,787 --> 00:15:45,459
because I thought
replacing Big Cookie
434
00:15:45,526 --> 00:15:47,696
would be easier
than saying goodbye.
435
00:15:47,763 --> 00:15:50,469
Would that be considered
denial or bargaining?
436
00:15:50,536 --> 00:15:52,506
I'm just trying to gauge
how many stages of grief
437
00:15:52,573 --> 00:15:54,510
you have left.
I've got places to be.
438
00:15:54,577 --> 00:15:57,383
Ah, thank you
for your sensitivity, Max.
439
00:15:57,449 --> 00:15:58,819
This shouldn't take long.
[chuckles]
440
00:15:58,885 --> 00:16:02,426
Um, losing Big Cookie
illuminated some things
441
00:16:02,493 --> 00:16:04,932
in my own life
that I need to...
442
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,938
[grunting]
443
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:10,709
Express!
444
00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:11,979
And I'm sad
445
00:16:12,046 --> 00:16:14,483
that she's not here
for me to talk to.
446
00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:16,554
You can talk to us.
Or just me.
447
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:18,024
I mean, why else are we here?
448
00:16:18,091 --> 00:16:20,095
It's not for the snacks,
'cause I don't see any!
449
00:16:20,162 --> 00:16:22,600
There will never be snacks.
Just drop it.
450
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:25,772
[yelps]
Thank you, Tchotchke.
451
00:16:25,839 --> 00:16:28,144
Aw, okay.
452
00:16:28,211 --> 00:16:29,513
Anyone else wanna share?
453
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:30,382
I'm good.
454
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:32,386
I have fully processed
the situation.
455
00:16:32,453 --> 00:16:34,490
"The Fault in Our Stars"
was on last night,
456
00:16:34,557 --> 00:16:36,861
so I'm all cried out.
Really?
457
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:40,068
In mourning Big Cookie,
I've learned that life,
458
00:16:40,135 --> 00:16:43,575
no matter how
excruciatingly long, is short.
459
00:16:43,642 --> 00:16:46,014
So I'm not going to pass up
a chance for happiness.
460
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,120
I want to make a life
with Lindsay.
461
00:16:49,186 --> 00:16:50,255
Who?
462
00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:51,791
The Croc.
That's what I named her.
463
00:16:51,858 --> 00:16:54,297
And look, I don't care
if she is a shoe.
464
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,334
In fact, maybe it's a plus!
465
00:16:56,401 --> 00:16:59,106
As a petroleumbased
foam resin,
466
00:16:59,173 --> 00:17:00,676
not only will she never die,
467
00:17:00,742 --> 00:17:02,379
she'll never biodegrade.
468
00:17:02,446 --> 00:17:03,715
Yeah, so thank you, Honey,
469
00:17:03,782 --> 00:17:05,752
for steering me
in the right direction.
470
00:17:05,819 --> 00:17:08,391
Shel, I'm not sure I was
Yeah, you're welcome.
471
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:10,930
Oh, sorry I'm late, guys.
Diablo!
472
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:14,537
My schedule has been
14, 15, 16crazy!
473
00:17:14,603 --> 00:17:16,374
So what's up?
474
00:17:16,441 --> 00:17:18,712
Diablo, I want to apologize.
Diablo, I want to apologize.
475
00:17:18,778 --> 00:17:19,847
Don't do that.
Got it.
476
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:23,088
Diablo, I want to apologize
on behalf of the group.
477
00:17:23,154 --> 00:17:26,427
You didn't get to share
because we failed you.
478
00:17:26,494 --> 00:17:29,935
These sessions are meant
to provide a safe place,
479
00:17:30,002 --> 00:17:32,272
an oasis of calm
[loud thumping]
480
00:17:32,339 --> 00:17:33,541
An oasis
[loud thumping]
481
00:17:33,608 --> 00:17:35,612
An oasan o
[loud thumping]
482
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,917
An oasis of calm
so you can feel your feelings!
483
00:17:37,984 --> 00:17:39,787
Drop the stick!
484
00:17:39,854 --> 00:17:40,889
What?
485
00:17:40,957 --> 00:17:43,528
You have to drop the stick
to get through the door.
486
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:46,467
Oh, okay, got it.
[heavy breathing]
487
00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:48,405
[grunts]
488
00:17:48,471 --> 00:17:51,077
What?
Two sticks?
489
00:17:51,144 --> 00:17:53,615
Anyway, we apologize,
490
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,218
and we understand
491
00:17:55,285 --> 00:17:57,589
why you didn't come
to the session yesterday.
492
00:17:57,656 --> 00:18:00,629
We had a session yesterday?
Oh, I totally spaced.
493
00:18:00,695 --> 00:18:02,699
This new custody arrangement
is so confusing.
494
00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:04,570
So we didn't hurt
your feelings?
495
00:18:04,637 --> 00:18:06,841
Because we really
didn't want you here.
496
00:18:06,909 --> 00:18:09,613
Are you kidding?
You guys are my best friends.
497
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,352
Oh, that's sad.
Kevin is my best friend.
498
00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:14,991
Diablo, welcome to the group.
499
00:18:15,058 --> 00:18:17,997
[warm music]
500
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:23,208
♪
501
00:18:23,274 --> 00:18:25,612
Goodbye, Big Cookie.
502
00:18:29,153 --> 00:18:30,856
You like to get weird?
503
00:18:30,923 --> 00:18:32,693
Excuse me?
You heard me.
504
00:18:32,759 --> 00:18:33,695
Uh, no, thank you.
505
00:18:33,761 --> 00:18:36,834
Dogs aren't allowed
on the beach after 5:00!
506
00:18:36,901 --> 00:18:37,937
Scram!
507
00:18:38,004 --> 00:18:40,609
[upbeat music]
508
00:18:40,675 --> 00:18:42,646
[munching]
509
00:18:42,713 --> 00:18:45,485
It was a real tailwagger
of a group today.
510
00:18:45,552 --> 00:18:47,289
Hey, are you gonna
finish your food?
511
00:18:47,356 --> 00:18:49,226
And it, uh, got me thinking.
512
00:18:49,293 --> 00:18:51,397
Uh, would you ever consider,
513
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,701
I don't know, um,
joining the group?
514
00:18:53,768 --> 00:18:55,907
So you are gonna finish,
or...
515
00:18:55,973 --> 00:18:57,009
Yes, I am,
516
00:18:57,075 --> 00:19:00,248
and I mean, we've been
living together a long time,
517
00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:02,252
and it might help us, you know,
518
00:19:02,319 --> 00:19:04,757
spice things up, uh,
519
00:19:04,823 --> 00:19:06,494
and, um, connect on a
520
00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:07,964
Ooh, I'm gonna go see
if I can connect
521
00:19:08,031 --> 00:19:10,035
with some
of Jill's Lean Cuisine.
522
00:19:10,101 --> 00:19:12,105
Well, you heard "connect."
That's a win.
523
00:19:12,172 --> 00:19:15,111
[howling]
524
00:19:15,178 --> 00:19:18,117
[dramatic music]
525
00:19:18,184 --> 00:19:20,455
♪
526
00:19:20,522 --> 00:19:23,027
Oh, well.
[gasps]
527
00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:26,000
[funky music]
528
00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:31,210
♪
529
00:19:31,277 --> 00:19:33,181
Hey, you!
Get out of here!
530
00:19:33,248 --> 00:19:35,852
This is my house!
My house!
531
00:19:36,621 --> 00:19:38,424
[laughs]
532
00:19:38,491 --> 00:19:41,264
Yeah!
Did you see that?
533
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,034
I scared the hell out of
534
00:19:43,101 --> 00:19:44,570
[heaving]
535
00:19:44,637 --> 00:19:46,474
Oh, God, I think I gotta barf.
536
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:48,578
No, I'm okay.
[laughs]
537
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:51,050
[vomiting]
538
00:19:51,117 --> 00:19:52,954
Oh, I threw up.
539
00:19:53,021 --> 00:19:55,492
I feel better.
[heavy breathing]
540
00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:57,462
Hey, are you okay?
Yes, thank you.
541
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,968
Aw, no, come on.
Anytime, babe.
542
00:20:00,035 --> 00:20:01,437
Don't do it.
What?
543
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:02,806
No.
What?
544
00:20:02,873 --> 00:20:05,045
No, I'm just making sure
the coyote's gone.
545
00:20:05,111 --> 00:20:07,282
Come on.
I'll see you in there.
546
00:20:08,084 --> 00:20:11,157
[munching]
Aw, still warm.
547
00:20:11,223 --> 00:20:12,392
[laughs]
548
00:20:12,459 --> 00:20:15,131
[upbeat music]
549
00:20:15,198 --> 00:20:21,310
♪
550
00:20:25,585 --> 00:20:27,622
Jellyfish, jellyfish, ball.
551
00:20:27,689 --> 00:20:28,558
Wrong!
552
00:20:28,624 --> 00:20:32,165
Ugh, why are merdogs
so [bleep] stupid?
553
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,336
You know, I can help you
with that anger.
554
00:20:34,403 --> 00:20:37,342
[funky music]
555
00:20:37,409 --> 00:20:42,386
♪
556
00:20:42,452 --> 00:20:44,089
Oh, my...
557
00:20:47,295 --> 00:20:49,433
Oh, yeah, baby.
558
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,972
Aren't you
a little far from home?
559
00:20:52,038 --> 00:20:54,978
The sea is my home.
No, it's not.
560
00:20:55,044 --> 00:20:57,282
Hey, Honey?
Chief!
561
00:20:57,349 --> 00:21:00,321
Hey, what's the
bathroom situation down here?
562
00:21:00,388 --> 00:21:01,958
Because I already went.
563
00:21:02,025 --> 00:21:03,394
[majestic harp music]
564
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:05,865
You know you're not supposed
to be in my dreams.
565
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,104
You just made it
sound so cool down here.
566
00:21:08,171 --> 00:21:10,175
[laughs]
Hey, look what I can do.
567
00:21:10,241 --> 00:21:12,078
[laughs]
Oh!
568
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:14,383
[scarfing]
569
00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,253
[stomach rumbles]
Oh, uhoh.
570
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,424
Aw, Chief.
571
00:21:18,491 --> 00:21:20,495
Hey, it's your dream, baby.
572
00:21:24,570 --> 00:21:26,507
Bento.
[cheering]
573
00:21:27,509 --> 00:21:28,544
That's nice, Jen and Gabby.
574
00:21:28,594 --> 00:21:33,144
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