Original subtitles

["Do You Fancy Me? (Bluff)" playing]

[indistinct conversations]

[Meredith] It's a common belief

that positive thinking leads to a happier, healthier life.

Stop fidgeting. Smile.

I hate ties. You're the one that's fidgeting.

[sighs] I'm wearing a thing that sucks in my fat.

You don't have any fat.

I couldn't zip the dress without it. I have fat.

- It's just your ass. I like it fat. - Thank you.

That's disturbing, but kind of awesome.

- You want to go upstairs and make out? - We're supporting Derek.

Why? This party blows.

This whole wall will be windows

- so we can take advantage of the view. - Nice.

- Have you broken ground yet? - The day I was named chief.

You know, at my parties, we drink beer and dance on tables.

- Are you insulting my party? - It's getting kind of lame out there.

Duty calls.

[Meredith] As children, we're told to smile and be cheerful

and put on a happy face.

♪ And you surround yourself ♪

♪ With London's elite With their personalities ♪

As adults, we're told to look on the bright side,

to make lemonade and see glasses as half full.

- You're staring again. - I am not.

You want to go back to my place and do it in the shower?

Teddy's in surgery tonight.

Look, I'm not in the mood for your jokes right now, OK?

♪ Give it away with ♪

♪ Give it away with ♪

♪ Give it away with ♪

[Meredith] Sometimes, reality can get in the way

of our ability to act the happy part, though.

- Napkin? - Thank you.

♪ And you call me ♪

[mouth full] Mm, I'm getting first dibs on all the finger food

before it gets sucked down by the masses.

Oh, thank you.

Let's move in together.

[chokes]

Mm. Good. You can't answer. I... that's good. I don't want you to.

I ran it past my shrink. She thinks it's a good idea.

So think about it. Me, you, in our own place.

- Yes. - What? [stutters] Yes?

- Yes, yes, yes. - Yes?

Yes, but I need to warn you that this is my fourth martini,

and my judgment is severely impaired.

Also... I'm a real easy lay right now.

Works for me. [chuckles]

♪ Give it away with ♪

- I'm going in. - No, you can't. It's inappropriate.

This is the chief's house. Right, Jackson?

[mouth full] No. Go ahead, girl. Get yours.

[laughs] What?

[Meredith] Your health can fail, boyfriends can cheat...

friends can disappoint...

Dr. Sloan, I just wanted to say that your work today with Dr. Shepherd

on that acoustic neuroma was amazing.

I was... inspired.

You need another drink.

♪ Give it away with ♪

♪ Give it away with Oh, give it away with ♪

[Meredith] It's in these moments when you just want to get real,

to drop the act and be your true...

- [Bailey speaks indistinctly] - ...scared, unhappy self.

OK, whoa.

[sighs] Uh, OK, look, I just... I just wanna tell you

that I will not have, um, my personal business

all over the hospital like every other little resident there.

So therefore, OK, you will not flirt with me at work.

No, listen, listen, you will not kiss me at work.

You will not... look at me with the "I've seen you naked" eyes at work.

What we do in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

Look, I'm a professional woman... [stammers] with a stellar reputation.

And more import... importantly, I am a lady.

OK? And a lady does not show her drawers at the office.

Sh...

Sh... [sighs]

Now, woman...

[sensual music playing]

I am naked and I look good.

Now you gonna sit there and lecture me

or you gonna let me take you into my bedroom,

have my way with you?

OK, just... Oh, my shoe. OK.

[laughs] All right.

[shower running] Mark?

Hello? The door's unlocked.

[exhales] I'm sorry I couldn't meet you earlier.

You would not believe my night.

My post-op dissection repair coded. I had to open him up bed... side.

[shower continues running]

[door opens]

[steam hisses]

OK...

[chuckles] Wow.

Well...

This could be fun if we decide to let it.

You and Owen are thinking of moving in together.

You know what? Not thinking. Doing.

Mer, freaking speak.

OK, I think there might be something going on between Owen and Teddy.

Oh, wow. [chuckles] OK.

Uh, there's nothing going on between Owen and Teddy.

I'm saying I'm pretty sure.

OK, how? How are you sure?

I can't say, and I don't really know.

I'm just saying, think before you do is all.

OK, you know what? That's such crap. Meredith, what... what do you...

I gotta go. I'm late for rounds. I'm on Sloan today.

Oh, you didn't... We're totally not done with this.

And when Mark proposed a threesome, she looked at me...

like she was thinking about it.

[laughs] Well, she is cute, like a brunette surgical Tinker Bell.

- Who's that? - Nothing.

I walked in on Mark and Reed Adamson last night.

[Arizona laughs] Sloan cheated on you?

No, he didn't cheat on me. We're dating non-exclusively.

He's not my boyfriend.

- [pager beeps] - Oh. Hey, I gotta run.

- I'll hear the rest later? - [laughs] Yes.

Listen, do you want me to say something to him? I can say something to him.

Owen, I do not need you to defend my honor.

You can stand down now.

Yes, Andrew, I said "surgery."

Now, wait, wait.

Would you explain to my son why he doesn't need to worry?

Hello? Hi. Um...

Your mom has some broken bones in her forearm,

but, uh, we're gonna put some small metal plates in,

and then she'll be discharged tomorrow. OK, bye.

See, dear? So don't jump on a plane.

No, I'm gonna call you right after surgery.

Well, love you, too, darling. Bye-bye.

- [cell phone beeps] - Oh, my son, the lawyer.

He's single, very nice, a little bit older.

I'm dating someone... Kind of.

What about you, Reed? You go for older guys, right?

- Was it something I said? - Oh, no, no. It's not you.

What do we have?

[Owen] Henry Stamm, 75, fell down a flight of stairs

on a cruise ship before it left the dock.

He has a couple of broken ribs and we're waiting for the abdominal CT results.

- Where were you headed, Mr. Stamm? - Alaska.

[stammers] A present from my kids.

Maybe I'll meet a nice lady, my daughter said. Now look at me.

I don't think he fell as much as passed out.

That bad, doc?

You have what's called sick sinus syndrome.

It's an irregular heart rhythm that causes blackouts.

- We're gonna have to do an ablation... - Doctor...

I think you might have to check my head, too.

Does it still hurt?

I think I'm seeing a ghost.

- Betty? - Yes.

It's Henry.

Henry Stamm.

Henry?

Henry Stamm? Oh, my God.

It's... That... that's Henry Stamm.

Betty Flynn.

Oh, but my last name is Donahue now.

- You... you married Mike Donahue? - May he rest in peace.

And you? Oh, how... How is Irene?

Oh, she died... Ten years ago this August.

I'm so sorry. Are... are you OK?

Just a little fall.

- You? - Fender bender.

You look good, Betty. [scoffs]

I'm an old lady, Henry.

[Henry] Well, you look pretty damn good for an old lady to me.

You know, maybe we should keep this area clear for emergencies?

We... we haven't seen each other in half a century, miss.

Oh, well, all the more reason for you to wait a little longer for your reunion.

- Yang. - She'll be in room 3128. OK?

Betty Flynn. Oh, my God.

Hello.

[humming]

♪ Baby ♪

[humming]

What song is that? I know that song.

Oh, [snickers] just a little something stuck in my head.

- You know how it is. - [floor indicator bell dings]

Oh. You both have a great day.

- Bailey in a good mood... - She is, really good.

- Teddy was right for you, appropriate. - Appropriate is boring.

- Yeah, that sums up your entire problem. - [floor indicator bell dings]

[hums] Morning.

[humming]

♪ Baby ♪

[Ben chuckles]

[humming]

[floor indicator bell dings]

Gentlemen.

- Go, Bailey. - Indeed.

[girl] I'm not crazy.

- I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. - It's OK, Hayley. Honey...

- I'm not crazy. - The doctors are gonna help you.

- [Alex] You paged surgery? - Hayley May, 16,

diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, tried to claw her eyes out.

I need you to clear her before I can take her up to psych.

- She tried to claw her eyes out? - We try to keep her safe.

She's on every med in the book, but she doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep.

The slightest thing sets her off, talking even,

so we're having her committed.

We explained to her that they were coming to get her to try and help.

We turned our back for a minute, just for one minute...

[instruments clatter]

Oh, my God.

- Hayley... - That's Lorazepam in there.

- I'll do it. I swear to God, I'll do it. - No, baby. Please, don't.

- You don't believe me. Nobody does. - So now, I swear to God, I'll stab myself.

Hayley, I'm Dr. Karev. Alex.

- I need you to put that down. - It'll kill me, right?

If I stuck this in my heart, it would kill me, right?

You don't want to do that, Hayley.

'Cause there's drugs in here, I would die, right?

Trust me.

- I can help you. - I'm not crazy.

I know. I... I believe you.

Everyone outside thinks you're crazy, but something's going on inside,

and none of us understand.

So we need to figure out what that is,

and the only way we can do that is if you put that down and let me run some tests.

OK?

You promise?

Yes.

[emotional music]

Just put it down.

It's gonna be OK.

[breathes deeply]

Good. That's good.

I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy.

I'm not crazy.

I'm not crazy.

Page Shepherd.

[Derek] I'd like to run some tests on Hayley.

More tests? Look, we... We've been to doctors, OK?

Hayley is schizophrenic. She was diagnosed months ago.

Ken's father was schizophrenic. He killed himself when Ken was eight.

[Alex] look, Dr. Shepherd, it's just a few more tests, and she wants them.

Mr. and Mrs. May, believe me, I understand your frustration.

- But it's possible something was missed. - Honey, please.

- Fine. - OK?

OK. OK.

Thank you. I want to run an EEG, a CAT-scan...

[Derek speaks indistinctly]

Oh, there you go.

Morning, Amber and Trish.

Um, Trish and Amber met in the burn unit.

Best friends ever since.

- Dr. Grey. - Amber Collier, 28,

presents status post-MVC, Amber was in a car when it flipped

and she was pinned under it while it burned.

Driving while texting. We strongly recommend it.

Dr. Avery, will you please explain how we're gonna use a tissue expander?

We stretch healthy tissue by injecting saline into a balloon

paced under the skull.

And today we'll remove that burned area and cover it with new tissue.

You promise that afterwards, it won't look like a comb-over, right?

I will do my best.

Dr. Sloan, Dr. Bailey.

Amber, how long have your fingers looked like this?

I don't know. They always look pretty bad.

You can still do my surgery, right?

We'll know more after we get some films on the fingers.

You're bummed out about getting a couple of x-rays?

You got a twin sister growing out of your head.

That's what you should be bummed about.

[chuckles]

["American Stitches" playing]

She was my wife's roommate... Her best friend.

[Richard] And you haven't seen one another since then?

She was supposed to be in our wedding...

My wife's Maid of Honor.

But she disappeared.

I figured that I would write her eventually and try to explain,

but how do you say,

"I couldn't stand up in your wedding because I fell in love with your fiancé"?

There was a party.

I remember, the sky was so clear that night,

and I went outside to look at the stars,

and there was Betty.

It just...

happened.

I felt terrible.

It was wonderful.

He was my first.

She was my first.

Yeah, Irene and I were waiting for our wedding nights.

[Irene] For the first time in my life, I felt complete.

Being with Henry, I felt complete.

I wanted to tell Irene. I wanted to call off the engagement.

Would've been a terrible scandal.

And it would've ruined my friendship with Irene.

A... but of course, the friendship was ruined anyway.

[Henry] She just left.

She went to grad school across the country and...

And I...

I married Irene.

Well, I loved Irene.

But she wasn't...

She wasn't Betty.

I told myself there'd be plenty of Henrys in my life.

- And were there? - My husband was a good man...

Kind, funny, smart... but he was no Henry.

There was never... another Henry.

Dr. Torres...

I have an idea.

[Richard] Nearly 50 years later, and still all of those feelings.

That's saying something, isn't it?

Is that a good idea? He just had a heart ablation.

I mean, he should be resting.

A happy patient is a healthy patient, Yang.

This scan shows a diaphragmatic rupture from the fall.

- We have to get him in an OR Soon. - He can wait an hour.

- [Betty and Henry speak indistinctly] - Let's let 'em catch up.

You're OK with this?

I'm with Webber. I can't help it. I'm a romantic.

[chuckles]

[scanner thumping and buzzing]

[Alex] You think she's schizophrenic?

I think she threatened to stab a syringe into her own heart,

so I'm leaning toward crazy, yeah.

- [machine beeps] - [Alex] Scans are up.

[Derek] There's nothing in the frontal lobe.

[Arizona] Or the temporal parietal region.

- Occipital lobe's clean, too. - Crap.

- Told you. Crazy. - [Derek] We tried, Karev.

All the tests are negative. OK?

Let's go inform the parents and turf her up to psych.

Look, this isn't right.

I know crazy. I grew up with crazy. I dated crazy.

And I don't think this girl is crazy. Just give me some time.

Do you have a specific diagnosis in mind?

- No, but... - She's suicidal, Alex.

What you did in the ER, you saved her life.

But those parents have been through hell.

Look, you say it's our job to advocate for the patient...

The patient, not the parents.

So whatever hell they've gone through, hers is worse.

I do say that, advocate for the patient.

You've got until my board meeting is over.

Four hours. Go dig.

[emotional music]

Alex...

- Are we a couple? - What?

I need to know what we are, because people ask

and I don't know what to say. I'm over Mark.

And I don't know if you're over Izzie, but I am over Mark Sloan for real.

And I know... I know that we said that, you know,

this wasn't gonna be a thing, but I like you.

Look, the point is, I want to know what we are,

what this is.

We're a thing.

Yeah, we're together. We're...

We're a thing.

Whatever.

Dr. Altman, can I do the mesh repair of the diaphragm?

No, I can sew it up with a continuous suture.

[Owen] And if you use stay sutures on either side of the laceration,

- It can be tented down to aid closure. - I know. They'll help with closure.

That's quite a shorthand you two have.

- We worked together a long time. - Yeah, I get it.

I had that once with Ellis Grey and I, from the first day we worked together.

[Richard] I miss it.

[Owen clears throat]

["Shiny and Warm" playing]

She's got hyperacusis, vertigo, tinnitus, nystagmus.

- This blows. - So you and Lexie?

- What? - I mean, I'm just saying, you and Lexie,

- It's not just a sex thing anymore. It's... - I'm acting like a duck.

- What? - I figure, if you walk like a duck

and you quack like a duck, eventually you start to feel like a duck.

Lexie is nice and normal and healthy. I'm acting like a guy who can stick

- with nice and normal and healthy. - You're becoming a duck.

I am becoming a duck.

[books thud]

- Cristina, seriously? - [Alex laughs] What's up with that?

She's mad at me because I planted seeds of doubt

- about her moving in with Owen. - Don't talk to him about me.

Well, why don't you come over here so I can talk to you about you?

I'll talk to you when you actually talk. I mean, are you ready to talk?

Oh! I need the Lexopedia to diagnose my patient.

- She's not a book you can flip through. - I kinda am. Go.

A 16-year-old with hyperacusis, vertigo, tinnitus, nystagmus...

Cholesteatoma... or temporal lobe tumor.

For God sakes, will you just come over here?

No. [slurps]

Scans were clean. Uh, it's worse with sounds. We have to whisper.

Oh, uh, uh, page 162 in a June,

2004 issue of a journal with a mint green cover.

It's, uh, sound or pressure-induced vertigo. It's called, um... I can't...

- Crap. I can't see it. Um, I can't... - It's like the computer froze.

June '04, mint green cover, it's in the research library.

Got it. Thanks.

- So Mark slept with Reed. Gross, right? - But you're with Alex.

I know. No, I'm just saying, it's... it's gross.

- [pager beeping] - I mean, that... that's...

That's all. I'm just... It's gross.

♪ Coming around, coming around ♪

Do you think I'm Thatcher?

Is that what you were trying to tell me this morning,

- that I'm Thatcher? - What?

Owen is Ellis, and, uh, Teddy's Dr. Webber,

and somehow I'm Thatcher in the situation?

I don't know. I don't know.

Forget it.

[monitor beeps]

I don't understand. You didn't find anything.

I just feel like we're torturing her for no reason.

OK, Hayley, we're gonna start now.

And when I say now, I want you to pinch your nose and blow.

Make sure you keep your eyes open, OK?

[clicks keyboard keys]

[monitor beeps]

- Now. - [inhales deeply]

[whirring]

What's happening to her eyes? What's going on?

- [whirring continues] - [voice breaking] No.

No.

No. No. No!

[crying] No, no.

- Hayley, honey, it's mommy. It's mommy. - No.

- I'm right here. - What the hell did you do to her?

I just diagnosed her.

[Ben] So you don't have a middle name? Like, for real?

[woman] My parents couldn't agree, so they decided not to bother.

Oh, we're just gonna have to do something about that.

- Um... How about cheeky? - [woman laughs]

- Liz Cheeky McKee? - Yeah. I like it. Got spunk.

[both laugh]

[speaks indistinctly]

Take care.

Miranda, that was...

[sighs] Miranda...

- You have to cut off three of my fingers? - They're infected, Amber.

[Mark] It also means we have to postpone your hair restoration. I'm sorry.

Amber, you survived a horrible car wreck.

- You'll survive this, too. - I know, but...

- Hey, what do we always say? - We're both alive. That's what matters.

Everything else is just bumps and bruises.

You can cry, Amber. It's fine.

- It's a lot to take in all at once. - No, she needs to stay positive.

That's how we get through. We stay positive.

She was excited, she was hopeful, she was eager, and that has been crushed.

She has the right to have some feelings. She can be positive tomorrow.

You can be positive tomorrow.

[sniffles] Thank you.

[cries]

[Derek] it's called superior canal dehiscence syndrome.

It's the result of a small hole that developed in her inner ear.

It's rare, and it's hard to diagnose.

The condition wasn't even written up until 1998.

The noise sensitivity, the sandpaper, it's because Hayley could hear

everything going on inside her body. And every sound outside was magnified.

That's why she couldn't sleep or eat.

She's not schizophrenic.

[sobs]

[water running]

- W... - [water stops]

Was the sex with Altman... was it lousy? Did she disappoint you?

What? No.

No.

Is one woman never enough for some men? No, I really want to know, because I...

Me, I think I'm a good judge of character.

I am... a good judge of character, and I...

And I think Altman is a good judge of character.

And then she trusted you. She trusted you, and then you go...

I just want to know.

Teddy and I were never exclusive.

[scoffs]

Were you and your guy... exclusive?

We're... we're not talking about me.

[door opens]

At the end of the trail, there's an overlook.

You can see the entire bay from up there.

Of course, the view would be even nicer if I had someone to share it with.

Come live with me.

- Henry. - It's a nice place. Warm, quiet.

- We barely know each other. - We know each other.

We missed our chance once, Betty.

I'd hate to make the same mistake again.

Betty, I need to... I need to get you up to surgery.

[Henry] Think about it.

That's all I ask.

I got over you...

Henry.

I married Mike, I had four kids, now grandkids that give me such joy.

I got over you.

["My Shadow" playing]

I'm sorry.

[bed clatters]

♪ In every speck of dust ♪

♪ In every universe ♪

♪ When you feel most alone ♪

♪ You will not be alone ♪

Looks like that's just about it.

You want to have the anesthesiologist start lightening her up?

- You could ask me directly. - Dr. Sloan?

You want to start lightening her up?

♪ Shine a light ♪

No.

Wait.

- I want to do the hair restoration. - What about the chance of infection?

Infection looked pretty isolated.

Do you think we can do it?

Seems to me that we are all in need of a little magic today.

Right, Dr. Bailey?

Let's do it.

♪ It only takes a spark ♪

♪ To tear the world apart ♪

Do you think your mom ever got over the Chief?

♪ These tiny little things ♪

You think she still loved him after all those years?

My mom loved Richard until the day she died.

♪ Shine a light ♪

What were you trying to tell me this morning about Teddy and Owen?

Is there... is there something I'm not seeing?

♪ Shine a light ♪

[sighs] Cristina...

Meredith, please just... just tell me what you know.

- Just... Why? - You have to understand.

It's been just you and me for a long time.

And now it's me and Derek, and it's you and me.

And I told you what I said this morning because it's you and me,

But I can't tell you any more because it's me and Derek.

Fine. You know what? [sniffles] I get it.

But I need you to understand that I need there to be a me and Owen.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Hey.

Hey.

I hate your job.

- I love you. - [laughs] Stop trying to make me happy.

Do you think he loves her, Owen and Teddy?

- I mean, do you think that that's why? - Meredith...

I'm saying, when he threw her under the bus, what read did you get?

- Do you think he loves her? - You can't tell Cristina.

I know that. That's why I hate your job.

- Want a hug? - Yeah.

[Callie] Wow. Impressive technique. Who taught you that?

Mark. He taught me one-handed ties, mattress stitches, dual onlay bone grafts.

[sniggers] Now he can teach his techniques to Reed.

- Lexie... - It's fine. I'm fine. I don't care.

I'm with Alex. I do not care about Mark and/or who he sleeps with.

That's the same thing I keep telling myself about Arizona, that I don't care.

And you know what? Sometimes it works for the most part.

But then a patient gets asked to move across the country

for a man she barely knows, and all I can think is

how stupid they were to let each other go in the first place.

[exhales deeply] All I want is for her to change her mind and say yes.

I want to believe.

[Derek] OK, time to close off the canal.

- [Alex] You're using fascia and bone wax? - [Derek] Yep, and then we'll cover it

with the cortical bone graft we've harvested

and seal it with the fibrin glue. She'll be good as new.

[Arizona] You cover a hole with a bone graft,

and this girl gets her whole life back.

Wouldn't it be nice if everything in life were that simple?

[monitor beeping rhythmically]

I hoped it wouldn't leave such a big scar.

[Meredith] Well, it'll look better in a couple of weeks,

once it has a chance to heal.

Be doing shampoo commercials in no time. And your hand is just bumps and bruises.

Right?

I lost three fingers today, Trish. That's not bumps and bruises.

I know that.

But we're alive.

It's better than the alternative.

I call in sick to work sometimes because I just can't bear to drive.

I sit in my car in my garage

and I'm so angry about what happened to me,

that I can't drive my car.

For hours, I just sit there.

Does that ever happen to you...

[voice breaks] that you're so angry you can't breathe?

[normal voice] Because I do. But I can't tell you that

because I'm afraid I'm being... Weak or ungrateful.

Please. You are my best friend.

Horrible things have happened to us.

Can we just be real with each other for once?

I can't watch romantic comedies anymore

because... I just want to yell at the women,

"You can't find Mr. Right? That's your biggest problem?

Well, try having most of your face burned off, you stupid bitch.

See what a freakin' pretty woman you are then."

I don't know.

- Thank you. - Oh, no.

Oh. [laughs]

Cristina loves you, and I want to, but I can't

because I want to punch you in the face right now.

I know you tried to have Teddy fired. And I believe it's because you love her.

And if you care about Cristina at all, you will tell her.

If you're actually the good guy that she thinks you are, you will tell her.

And if you don't, then I'll know and you'll know that you are not that guy.

[exhales deeply]

Look, Teddy...

I wanted to say that...

Look, I should've knocked. It's that simple. And it's that over.

- Talk to her. - I just did. She doesn't want to.

No, I'm not talking about Teddy. I'm talking about Lexie.

You still love Lexie,

and sleeping around isn't gonna fix that.

And the reasons that you broke up, little Sloan and the baby,

they're not reasons anymore.

- She's with Karev. - Yeah, well, Betty married Mike,

but she never got over Henry.

What?

Look, you don't want 50 years to go by

and then realize that you let the love of your life get away. So go. Try.

You gonna try again with Robbins?

[sighs]

Why not?

Because my reasons are still reasons.

Look, I don't understand. You told Shepherd to hire Dr. Evans over Teddy?

When I asked you to go to bat for her, you said that you did, so...

[sighs]

Meredith said...

Owen, what's going on between you and Teddy?

Oh, nothing. Nothing is... God.

You want me to get better.

I want me to get better. And I have been working.

I have been working with Dr. Wyatt to eliminate my triggers...

- OK, so... Teddy's a trigger? - Teddy... I don't know what Teddy is.

Teddy... She triggers me, she confuses me.

- [stammers] I don't know. - OK, well, you know what?

"I don't know" is not working for me right now.

I don't know is all I've got.

- I shouldn't have to explain myself... - Oh?

[exhales deeply] Cristina...

I don't know what I feel for Teddy.

I don't know because she's all wrapped up with everything else...

With men being blown apart in front of me, with Beth.

So it's complicated and it is screwing with my head.

That's the truth. I don't know what I feel for her.

But I do know what I feel for you.

So, yes, I told Shepherd to hire the other guy.

- And I shouldn't have to explain myself... - How... Oh.

- So I can get myself better. - How could you have done that to...

I shouldn't have to explain myself to you

and I damn well do not have to explain myself to Meredith Grey.

[pager beeps]

It's, uh...

It's Henry Stamm.

- [monitor beeping erratically] - He was talking to me,

- and then he couldn't breathe. - Arterial flutter again.

- Cristina, get her out of here. - Ma'am, I need to move you.

No, I'm not leaving him.

Systolic's 80. We're gonna need to cardiovert.

- [Teddy] Mm-hmm. - [Richard] Charge paddles to 100.

- [woman] Charging. - You want to help him? Let go of his hand.

- Oh, God. - [defibrillator whines, paddles thunk]

[monitor beeping rhythmically]

Hello. Your heart rhythm was irregular again.

We were able to control it for now, but we're gonna need to insert a pacemaker

before you go home. You're gonna be OK.

I've called a colleague at your hospital at home,

and he'll see you once we clear you to travel.

- Thank you. - [sighs]

You stayed?

[Betty] You can't do that again.

If I'm gonna move halfway across the country to shack up with you...

- [voice breaking] You can't do that again. - Really?

[sniffles] You... You make me feel like the prettiest girl at the party.

When you look at me, I become a young girl again.

And I never stopped missing you, and I never stopped wondering.

I did the right thing once.

Now I'd like to do the wrong thing and see how that goes.

How long do you need me to wait before I propose?

- Cristina... - Don't.

[monitor beeping rhythmically]

She's starting to wake up.

Remember, we're gonna take it slowly and see how it goes.

[Arizona] There's no guarantee that the surgery worked.

[beeping continues]

How you doing, Hayley?

[whispers] I'm good.

I'm good.

I'm good.

Oh, my God. I'm good.

I'm good!

[Meredith] Ask most people what they want out of life, and the answer's simple...

To be happy.

Maybe it's this expectation, though,

the wanting to be happy...

that just keeps us from ever getting there.

- I need to talk to you. - Hey, I get it.

You want to see other people. So go. Be free.

Get cheeky with Liz.

Liz is the meanest nurse on the floor.

She makes everybody in my department's life hell.

But she likes me.

She doesn't schedule me for work on Tuesday mornings

because she knows that's when I play golf.

She doesn't put me in the OR with Hendricks because she knows

I can't stand the way he talks to himself when he operates.

And she does these favors for me because I flirt with her.

Flirting makes my job easier.

And what you saw back there, that middle name stuff?

That's bad flirting, lazy flirting.

For you, who I actually like...

I break out my good flirting, my A-game...

Because I mean it.

Are you hearing me, Miranda?

I... I mean it.

["Open Your Eyes" playing]

[voice breaking] I have a child...

and a full-time job.

And I'm going through a sad,

exhausting, stressful, time-consuming divorce.

I don't have time for games.

- I mean, you understand that, right? - I do.

I do, and I'm not... I'm not playing games.

I'm in this for real.

OK?

♪ Open your eyes now ♪

OK.

[elevator bell dings]

♪ It's time to see ♪

♪ If you can reach me ♪

♪ Open your eyes now ♪

♪ Open your eyes now ♪

♪ It's time to leave ♪

♪ It's time to leave me ♪

[elevator bell dings]

You were right. Superior canal dehiscence syndrome.

Page 162. You rock. I'm gonna drop these off,

then we're gonna head over to Joe's.

♪ It's time to leave ♪

Lex.

♪ It's time to leave me ♪

I'm still in love with you.

I tried not to be, but it didn't work.

And Sloan's gone...

there's no baby,

and I don't want to sleep around.

I want another chance.

I'm in love with you.

Karev is...

He's...

- Mark, I have a boyfriend. - I know.

I'm saying, you can have a husband.

[Meredith] Maybe the more we try and will ourselves to states of bliss,

the more confused we get...

- You ready? - Yeah.

[Meredith] ...to the point where we don't recognize ourselves.

- Hey. - Hey.

[elevator bell dings]

Arizona...

[Meredith] Instead, we just keep smiling, trying like hell

to be the happy people we wish we were.

♪ Try to speak ♪

♪ Like you can see me ♪

[elevator bell dings]

Until eventually it hits us, it's been there all along...

What do you think of this right here,

putting in the fireplace in the master bedroom?

[sighs]

♪ She'll be a star now ♪

♪ She'll be a scar now ♪

I'm gonna get something to eat.

- [door closes] - [sighs] Well...

I'm not moving in with Owen.

[exhales deeply]

- See this... right here? - Uh-huh.

This is your room.

You have a room at the new house in the woods.

[sniffles] My own room?

- Yeah. - Thank you.

♪ I will let her bleed ♪

♪ All over me ♪

[Meredith] Not in our dreams or hopes but in the known,

the comfortable...

the familiar.