All language subtitles for Devil.May.Care.S01E04_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,968 [low vibration] 2 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,684 [demon-elephants trumpet] 3 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,400 [jaunty music] 4 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,188 - One train full of our monthly shipment 5 00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,941 of Earth goodies? Check. 6 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,613 Two clipboards? Check. 7 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,031 Man, this is fun. 8 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:30,239 - I love getting Earth stuff. 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,120 Google Glasses. Wow. 10 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:33,317 What do you think they do? 11 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,696 - Something awesome, 12 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,543 if so many of them ended up here. 13 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,198 [horn honks] - Devil just called. 14 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,916 He got tired of waiting and is on his way. 15 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,037 What's the holdup? 16 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:45,003 - Oh. Yeah, there's something 17 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,915 you should see for yourself. 18 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:50,473 [suspenseful music] 19 00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,388 - Hi, hoo. Hello. 20 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,847 My name's Gwyneth Paltrow. 21 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,057 Hi. I know. 22 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,766 I would kill for an Antipodes water 23 00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:59,426 with kiwi and apple slices, no lemon. 24 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,766 The acid upsets my pH balance. 25 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:05,401 - Uh, ooh, it says here you--oh, my. 26 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,440 You drowned in a bathtub full of tortoise semen. 27 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,525 - That's right. I was testing out 28 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,320 Goop's next big product launch, 29 00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,374 a tortoise semen subscription service, 30 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,537 which I cannot wait to try on your skin, by the way. 31 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,367 Tortoises are the longest-living land animal. 32 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,583 Did you know that? 33 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,883 Their semen has rejuvenating powers. 34 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,667 Look at my skin. [gasps] 35 00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:28,210 I must have drank too many bottles 36 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:31,304 of 1947 Cheval Blanc Saint Emilion 37 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:35,101 and drowned during my nightly soak... 38 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,056 - What is taking so long? 39 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,847 Hey, you guys gotta be more careful 40 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,480 with these packages. 41 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,807 "Close to the Sole: 42 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,811 A Photo Diary of Malibu's Lost Ankle Tattoos, 43 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,274 Volume Three"? 44 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,324 That is inspiring! 45 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,148 I'm gonna need volumes one and two. 46 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,323 I'm a completist. Anyone? 47 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,322 [dramatic music] 48 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,325 [lively music] 49 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:05,498 * * 50 00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,085 After we get all these sorted, 51 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,425 I want you and McKinley to show them off to Chit Chat. 52 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,560 Show the people what's new. 53 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,100 Whoa-ho-ho! 54 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,562 Goodbye boredom, hello new addiction. 55 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,359 - Fidget spinners. Yeah, they're pretty popular, 56 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,768 but you got tired of them, 57 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,276 and they all came here, I guess. 58 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,857 - Beans, Beans! 59 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,162 This is the most versatile device I've ever seen. 60 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,276 It's a bagel slicer, personal fan, 61 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,243 finger exerciser-- oh, that's it. 62 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,954 We'll start finger races as a new sport. 63 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,035 Coma, who's that guy with the weak fingers? 64 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,041 - Uh, Weak Fingers Wally? 65 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,503 - Get him in here! 66 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,304 - Lord? 67 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,549 - See this? Take this. 68 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:58,011 Finger this. Finger it until you're strong. 69 00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,893 - Trim your fingernails first. 70 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,845 - Oh... thank you, Lord. 71 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,232 - You're the captain of our new finger team, Wally. 72 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,559 Make us proud. 73 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,064 - Oh, thank you, Lord. 74 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,685 I will finger it forever. 75 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,403 - Please, if everyone could stop saying 76 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,403 everything that they're saying. 77 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,034 - Watch, listen, learn. 78 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,361 Out-of-the-box thinking 79 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,235 is why God put me in charge. 80 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,082 Get out of your box! 81 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,867 - Oh, to have bones... 82 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,041 - That's right. 83 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,409 Devil was hand-picked by God 84 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,865 to run this place. 85 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:30,745 - And it spits out the juice. That's amazing! 86 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,594 [device humming] 87 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,299 - Infinite wisdom, I guess. 88 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,796 [heavenly chorus] 89 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:42,385 * * 90 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,720 - Earth is finished and spinning. 91 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,436 I'd like to congratulate and thank you all 92 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,227 for a job well done. 93 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:53,020 [cheering] - Yeah, we did it! 94 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,776 - Now, on final review, 95 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,948 I was surprised by some finishing touches. 96 00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,317 All around the planet, 97 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,954 about four meters below the ground, 98 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,620 are giant monster bones. Who was that? 99 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,950 - Uh, me. Devil, sir. 100 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:07,464 I made them all look millions of years old 101 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,537 so as humans explore the Earth, 102 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,752 this will be their first big mystery. 103 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,963 "Oh, giant lizard bones. Crikey. 104 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,804 What does this mean?" It's so fun. 105 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,295 - But Earth is not millions of years old. 106 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,853 - Exactly. It's like a paradox game 107 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,597 that'll never end. 108 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,469 Different people wanting it to make sense, 109 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,476 having different ideas and coming together 110 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,148 to share their beliefs in peace! 111 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,017 Oh, can you picture the love? 112 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:37,438 - I wish you'd cleared that with me, but... okay. 113 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,155 Who can tell me why all the female mammals 114 00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,446 are leaking blood? 115 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,449 - Ooh, ooh. That's me again, sir. 116 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,541 They leak from their baby-making parts 117 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,697 to remind them of the miracle of life. 118 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,536 It'll be a celebration. The males will be jealous. 119 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,422 So beautiful. 120 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,039 - [coughs] 121 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,665 - I guess. 122 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,592 Bunnies? 123 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,879 - Made them for the kids, sir. 124 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,974 - Good job. Adorable. 125 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,600 Okay, who's responsible for Australia? 126 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,557 - I filled it with the most poisonous beasts 127 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,018 in the world 128 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,728 and cute little koalas with chlamydia. 129 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,229 [laughs] They'll be friends! It's so cute. 130 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,191 [lively music] 131 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,862 * * 132 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,111 - Usually, presenting new products to the public 133 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,953 is a joyous affair with crowds and celebration. 134 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,699 Ugh, loathsome. No decorum at all. 135 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,702 But utilizing your social media instead? 136 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,405 Ah. Mayhap your Chit Chat 137 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,706 will finally be useful. 138 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,129 - Yeah. If you're gonna gaslight people 139 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,247 into wanting this crap, 140 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,253 best to do it one on one, 141 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,504 or one on millions. 142 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,955 One on millions of ones of millions? 143 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,546 - This is crap. 144 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,221 - Hey, wouldn't Devil wanna do this? 145 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,179 - He's too excitable. - One time on stage, 146 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,760 he applied so much Cheetos-flavored lip balm 147 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,716 that he went into toxic shock. 148 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,056 - As Devil's advocate, it is my province 149 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,562 to perform in his stead. 150 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:54,853 - That tracks. Okay. 151 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,896 Streaming in three, two, one... 152 00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,071 - This is President McKinley, 153 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,530 presenting the stupendous new products 154 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,110 coming to our fair land. 155 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,992 Ah, what we have here 156 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,124 is a shaking weight contraption. 157 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,751 No morning constitutional would be complete without it. 158 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,039 - Aha! I know what that's for. 159 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,923 My boyfriend got me one for Christmas. 160 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,250 Two weeks later, I yanked the skin off his dick. 161 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,375 The poor bastard. 162 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,922 - Jehoshaphat! 163 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,675 What the fuck's wrong with you people? 164 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,797 - This is crap. Why do we have this? 165 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:31,468 [heavenly chorus] 166 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,556 - Peter, I cannot wait to see 167 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,731 what Earth has brought forth for me. 168 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,440 Finally, I will not be alone. 169 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,321 You know what I mean. 170 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,858 * * 171 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,163 - Amalthea. She loves butterflies. 172 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,528 - And I love you! 173 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,446 * * 174 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,705 - Elias, creator of the clay pot. 175 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,498 - [gasps] Look what you did! 176 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,211 [laughs] 177 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,844 - Jacob. He... oh, dear. 178 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,220 Jacob, it says you wipe your ass with your hand. 179 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,428 - Yes, sir. My hand. 180 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,718 I seen some using leaves, 181 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,141 but you know, I already got a hand, 182 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:12,269 so why complicate stuff? Why be wasteful? 183 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,347 - I don't wanna spend eternity with him. 184 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,812 Send him away. - To where? 185 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,942 There is naught but heaven and Earth. 186 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,362 - Fuck. 187 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,990 [peppy music] 188 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,987 - We now head to the Ford Theater, 189 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,989 where Devil himself is attending 190 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,871 a standing-room-only movie premiere. 191 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,499 - When I told people this month's shipment 192 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,406 included this movie, 193 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,615 it caused the stir of the century. 194 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,875 - Who does Orson Welles have to fuck 195 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,248 to get a bowl of peas around here? 196 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,838 - [yawns] 197 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,843 I've seen it a hundred times. 198 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,965 [mutters] Tosche station for power converters. 199 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:52,973 [sighs] 200 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,604 Why would "Star Wars" come here? 201 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,891 It's not crap. 202 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,644 [dramatic musical scare] 203 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,896 What was I thinking? 204 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,532 [projector whirs] 205 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,607 [dramatic music] 206 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,784 โ™ช โ™ช 207 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,494 - They're gonna hate the movie! It's so bad! 208 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,575 They're gonna claw the screen down 209 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,869 with their bare hands! 210 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:19,502 - Report on the First Order fleet. 211 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:23,381 - They've pretty much conquered the galaxy, Lord Palpatine. 212 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,840 - Excellent. 213 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:28,719 Now, launch the Final Order fleet 214 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,548 to conquer the galaxy. 215 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,224 - Huh? Two fleets? 216 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,813 That makes no se-- 217 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,638 - Ah, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. 218 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,643 - I have to tell you my secret. - Tell me. 219 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,015 - I'll never tell you, Rey. I have a secret, 220 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,982 and I'll tell you I need to tell you, 221 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,733 then literally never bring it up again. 222 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,484 - Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 223 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,736 - You're dead. You're alive. 224 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,408 - We kissed. You're dead. 225 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,068 - What is going on? 226 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,906 - Stop the movie! 227 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:01,831 No! Why is hell so tasty? 228 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,955 Black licorice? Gross. 229 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,922 No! 230 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,632 - Let there be light... 231 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:10,884 again. 232 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,045 Thought I'd be resting today, 233 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,183 but here I am with this noise. 234 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,560 Okay, raw materials. 235 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,098 Maybe some trees? 236 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,231 Ah, fuck it. This is good enough. 237 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,685 Keep this place clean. 238 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,940 Don't ever give me a reason to come back here. 239 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,782 Understand? [collective murmur] 240 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,896 - Ow, ow, ow! 241 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,195 Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! 242 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,528 - From now on, everyone and everything 243 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:38,044 that is even remotely-- I mean remotely--annoying, 244 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,788 less than perfect in any way, 245 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,079 gets dumped here. Understand? 246 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,833 I don't wanna be disturbed by any of it. 247 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,456 - Understood, sir, but who's gonna run this place? 248 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,804 Not me? 249 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,468 - No, you're my bridge partner. 250 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,127 Oh, who to put in charge? 251 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:56,046 Oh, get that weirdo Devil down here. 252 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,426 Tell him he's getting a promotion. 253 00:09:58,473 --> 00:09:59,643 - [screams] 254 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,983 [both laughing] 255 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:05,148 [melancholy music] 256 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:10,898 * * 257 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,824 - Hey, Beans. Don't be sad. 258 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:14,993 I've been locked out of my place 259 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,991 in just my underwear lots of times. 260 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,703 Of course, I didn't wander the city afterwards, but-- 261 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,664 - No, man. It's this. 262 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,035 It's my fault. I should've realized 263 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,081 we got one of the bad Star Wars movies. 264 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,665 - You think we hated it so much, 265 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,040 we blew up the theater? 266 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:31,376 This was a gas leak! Everyone loved the movie. 267 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,513 - But Palpatine was alive. 268 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,840 How? How? 269 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,594 - Beans, you turn your nose up at everything, 270 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,676 but the people dig this stuff! 271 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,682 [sighs] I was like you once, 272 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,934 blind to others' wants and needs, 273 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,516 a real asshole. - Hey. 274 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,861 - Did you know it was millennia before I even suspected 275 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,107 humans hate burning in lava? 276 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,230 [laughs] 277 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,606 That's why God never returned my calls. 278 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,413 I hadn't opened my heart yet. 279 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,697 But I did, and you will too. 280 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,281 [menacingly] Or else. 281 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,575 [laughs] I'm kidding. 282 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,368 - Oh. So God did call you? 283 00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,542 - Not yet. Ugh. 284 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,081 Such an asshole. 285 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,247 [heavenly chorus] 286 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,625 * * 287 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,841 - I made sure Gwyneth Paltrow was routed to hell, 288 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,722 but get this. They rejected her. 289 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,339 - They don't wanna spend eternity 290 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,005 with buckets of tortoise semen either? 291 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,385 Who would've guessed? 292 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:24,851 [laughs] 293 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:27,233 Oh, Gwyneth. 20271

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.