All language subtitles for Scorpion.S04E13.HDTV.X264-LOL.en-en

Previously on Scorpion...

It's Quincy Berkstead.

The man who stole
your fiancée?

You're the reason
Amy left you.

The only person you blame is me.

We're married?

So, tell me more
about this dream.

There's nothing to tell.

The best part
was getting to meet you.

I got

my own exercise regimen.
I'm not doing this.

Like hell you're not.

Homeland stated
specifically, "All agents

"returning to the field
after extended medical absence,

"sabbatical, or other leave

must pass the federal
physical fitness standards."

Director Carson is saying
your suspension falls

under "other leave."
You have to take the test.

Carson's just mad
'cause I beat him in court.

You fail, you
get desk duty.

Which means you can't
be Scorpion's liaison.

Good news is,
my workout works.

We do resistance
running with parachutes

and sled training...

There's no way
I can pass that test.

It was originally designed for
recruits coming out of college.

And that's who will
take your job.

It's unbelievable.

You dedicate your whole life
to your work--

blood, sweat, and tears.

And then one day,
younger people

with less experience
come in and take over.

Not going to let
that happen.

Go grab your gym
clothes, okay?

We've got work to do.

I'm sure
you'll do great, Paige.

You're smart
and very organized.

Thank you, sweetie.

Uh, don't thank me.

Thank the Walteration One.

I don't even want to know.

I created an artificial
intelligence device programmed

with over a billion
possible stimuli responses

in preparation for today's
doomsday bunker inspection.

I don't like those things.

- Creepy.
- It's progress.

I mentioned that we were
almost out of Fruity Moons,

and the Walteration

ordered a new box online

without even asking.

And that's the problem.

Nobody does anything
for themselves anymore.

Nobody can spell
because of spell-check,

can't remember a phone number
because of the speed dial.

Mark my words,

someday it's gonna be
Rise of the Machines.

And who's that
gonna be good for?

Robots are the future.

Anyway, we got to go.
Bunker's not close.

Happy and Toby better be back
from their honeymoon soon.

Actually, just Happy.

Oh, right. How did Toby
take the news about the job?

Why are you asking me?

You handle our EQ issues.

And it's gonna
be emotional for Toby.

You know, falls within
your job description, not mine.

What'll be emotional for Toby?

Oh. Hey, guys.

How was your honeymoon?

That's a nice
diversion attempt.

What's going on?
Nothing.

Nothing major. We just have
that bunker inspection

for SafeCorp Survival.

Right. The doomsday guys.

SafeCorp Survival.

Founded in 2004.

A survival preparation
company specializing

in post-apocalyptic housing.

I don't even want to know.

Seems SafeCorp wants
their AI checked

and their coding screened

and their facial recognition
software tested.

Yeah, probably want

their system analyzed

by the world's
most qualified behaviorist

so that people don't go cuckoo
for Armageddon Puffs

while spending five years
underground.

Right?

Well, yes and no.

- I'm out of here.
- It appears

SafeCorp has their own
in-house behaviorist,

so they asked that you...
not come along.

I'm-I'm so... I'm so sorry.

My-my hearing must be going,

because I thought
that you just said

that they don't want to hire
a Harvard-trained behaviorist

'cause they got
some rink-a-dink shrink.

No,

your hearing's fine.

Well, who is this quack?

They didn't say.
It's not important.

They're-they're the client.
It's their call.

This is really great.

Just when I thought
I couldn't feel any lower.

Hello, everyone.

Are we leaving soon
to inspect the bunker?

She gets to go?

They wanted a-a chemist

to inspect
their water filtration system.

But it's gonna
be fine. Cabe and I

are gonna stay back
and exercise.

You can join us.

Oh, that's great.

I-I get lumped in with you two.

You know, no offense,
but I have a 178 IQ!

Incorrect.
Toby Curtis's IQ is 170,

the lowest on Team Scorpion.

Hey. You okay?

How would you feel
if you were told

you weren't wanted on a case?

That's not it.

You said you couldn't
feel any lower.

Folks returning from their
honeymoon usually have

a little more spring
in their step.

Uh, we got a flat
on the way to Mexico,

and Happy insisted on fixing it.

And then our, um, ocean view

could only be seen while
standing on a chair

in the bathtub.

And then when I complained to
the manager, he wouldn't budge.

And to top it all off,
despite me checking

every available
weather forecast,

it rained the entire time.

So, I failed on every front.

But that's romantic.
Newlyweds, stuck in a room,

rain pouring down.

What? Toby, my only job here
on Scorpion is to help you guys.

You need to trust me.

Um...

After all that happened,

uh, my confidence was at zero.

So...

when the baby-making show
was supposed to commence...

I couldn't raise the curtain.

Oh.

Well, that...

I mean, that happens.

It's no big deal.

When you're trying
to get pregnant,

it's a pretty big deal.
You know better

than anyone
it's-it's probably all mental.

You just need
to get your mojo back.

Yeah, well, nothing makes you
feel manly like being told

to stay behind while Florence
the Pixie takes your place.

Did you mean
"Florence and the Machine"?

Or the "Pixies"?

Both are successful
indie rock bands.

Seems like
something's wrong here.

That's what Happy said.

Huh?
Toby is

just upset that Florence
is coming along when he isn't.

Well, I can check
the filtration systems.

Florence doesn't need to come.

No, she has more chemistry
expertise than you.

Besides,
she needs the work.

Boosts our fee. Win-win.

I just think it's unfair to Toby
to bring in an outsider.

An outsider?

She saved your life.

I thought you were okay
with her now.

I am, but...

Good!
Then everything's settled.

That's also what
Happy said.

What are you talking about?

No, never mind me.

What's up with
lying to Paige?

I read deception
all over you.

And you could normally care less

whether I find something unfair
or not.

I need your professional opinion
about a dream I had.

Did it involve leaving me behind
in the garage?

No. It involved Florence and I

kissing in the garage.

I dreamt we were married.

Yowza. Wow.

Oh, that's why you don't want
her coming along.

You feel guilty
about your perverted dream, huh?

It wasn't perverse.

It happened
when I was unconscious

from falling down the stairs.
Mm-hmm.

Toby, I Th...
I thought I loved Paige.

You can relax. The fact that

you feel so guilty proves
that you do love her.

Look, your dream is just
a function of biology, you know?

You're unconscious, but the
olfactory and auditory centers

of your brain continue
to provide stimuli.

You know?
Florence found you,

and she yelled at you
to wake up, right?

So, you heard her--
she winds up in your dream.

But my wife?

Kissing me?

She was trying
to keep you alive, right?

She was caring for you.

So your subconscious made her
someone that fits that role,

a spouse.

You did
nothing wrong.

Thank you.

That's helpful.
Yeah.

Well, try to get whatever
behaviorist SafeCorp hired

to do that.

So, can I come along?

No.

You know what, go ahead.

I really don't give a crap.

Laxatives are sold
in nine markets and pharmacies

within
a three-mile radius.

Shut up.

Should I put in one of those
comms like you guys always wear?

Not today. Bunker has shielding
that renders them useless.

Hello, Team Scorpion.

Quincy Berkstead?

- What are you doing here?
- Isn't he

the pop psychologist
that sells books

in supermarkets?

- By the millions.
- You are

the behaviorist
that SafeCorp hired?

Not hired.
I received equity in the company

in exchange for my work
in human dynamics,

customizing the bunker so people
can live in it for years

while keeping their sanity.

Speaking of which,
I am about to lose mine.

Walt, I am not working
with this jerk.

Why do you guys hate him?

He married Toby's ex-girlfriend.

Stole Toby's ex-fiancée.

- He's a snake.
- Please,

don't let my past with Mr. Curtis...

Doctor Curtis.

My mistake.

Don't let our past keep Scorpion
from a lucrative job.

And we'd benefit
as well:

a sign-off from a team
of geniuses

would set buyers' minds at ease.

You should be flattered
I chose you.

I'm no psychiatrist, but maybe
your getting your jollies

by humiliating my husband

factored into
your decision.

Toby got married?

Fantastic.

Then he's finally stopped pining
after my wife and it's all

in the past
and we can get

- to work.
- Quincy, given

the situation,
we can't accept the job.

I need this job
done ASAP.

I'll double your fee.

We could give Toby a cut.

It would hurt
Toby's feelings

if he knew

that we were working
with Quincy.

Screw his feelings.
We need a bedroom set.

Excellent.
Shall we?

The entire bunker is run by
our AI module, Dorie. May she?

Welcome, Walter O'Brien,
founder of Scorpion;

Alderman Sylvester Dodd;

Florence Tipton,
PhD in chemistry

from the University of Texas;

and Happy Quinn,
mechanical prodigy

and pop star, alias Feliz.

Dorie's
a cutting-edge AI system.

And the security
is no less advanced.

Instead of a pickable lock
or a hackable password,

the owner can gain access
by blowing on this sensor.

National Institutes
of Health Study recently found

each person
has unique gut flora.

Like a gastronomic fingerprint.

Exactly.

Eventually, it will be
programmed for the purchaser.

For now, it's set up for me.

This way.

Uh, can we leave
the door open?

I'm a teensy
claustrophobic.

Not a problem.

Bunker's unfinished,

but security mechanisms
are complete.

Intercoms, cameras.

Six-foot-thick
steel walls encase

composite carbon graphene.

It can withstand
a nuclear blast.

Owners can wait out

an apocalyptic scenario
in comfort for five years.

To prevent claustrophobia,
it even has windows.

When completed,
there'll be thousands of vistas

to choose from.

For now, I've put in photos
Amy and I took on our honeymoon.

That's Amy?
Yes.

Not only beautiful,
but a very accomplished

geneticist.

This is us riding
on Jimbaran Beach.

Took those balloons
right across Nusa Dua.

Breathtaking.

Just like our honeymoon.
Enjoyed Bali so much,

we bought a second home there.

- Well, second vacation home.
- Have no fear!

The real psychiatrist is here!

Quincy Berkstead?

Toby!

What are you doing here?

Well, I had to see
why I was left on the bench.

For this guy?

- Seriously?
- I told

Happy you'd be mad,
but sh-she wanted furniture.

Okay, Quincy is part
owner of SafeCorp.

He made the call
to keep you back.

You really shouldn't
be here, Toby.

You excluded me 'cause you're
threatened by my intellect.

Intellect?
The last time I saw you,

you feigned throwing acid
in my face.

- Oh, just get over it, baby.
- I'm telling you, you don't want to be here.

- Why? 'Cause I'd show you up?
- Quincy, really?

Nobody wants to
see me in my bikini.

All I did was eat
that entire trip.

What'd you eat? Air?

Amy?

Toby?

Is that you under all that?

You need to leave!
This is

a high-tech facility.
High-tech?

Quincy, do you realize
that I got past...

Don't!
...your stupid AI with this cheap scarf!

Protocol One initiated.

I'm guessing that's
not a good protocol?

It's on lockdown.
We need to get out.

Too late!

Dorie, open the exit.

Request denied.

Enemy infiltration detected.

Quincy, did you program me
into the system as an enemy?!

Dorie warns of any strangers,
but responds proactively

to pre-programmed threats.

I needed a placeholder

for demonstration purposes,
and you tortured me.

Only psychologically!

Look, if Dorie thinks
that Toby is a threat,

why is she locking us
in with him?

Dorie knows where Toby is,
and she's contained him.

The fact that
he's trapped in with us

is a problem
she'll try to solve next.

Solve me?
What is that, a euphemism?

AI is patient.

It'll hold us in here
until it figures out

what to do,
and that could take years.

Can we drill our way out?

It would take weeks with a laser
saw, and we don't have one.

We can decipher this conundrum,
and if it takes a few days,

at least we have a supply
of water and food.

Wrong.
Since the bunker's

still under construction,

it's only been stocked
with cleaning supplies.

There is no food or water,

and only enough air
for 24 hours.

Well, this is the last job
I'm going on with you people.

♪ Scorpion 4x13 ♪
The Bunker Games
Original Air Date on January 15, 201

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
00:29:10,934
Typical.

What?

You are attacking
my physical prowess

at one activity,

because you have insecurities

about your own prowess
at another activity.

I'm not talking about this
with you, Quincy.

Well, maybe you should.

I'm a doctor--
I'd like to help.

And I can tell you

it's all in your head,
because Amy informed me

that you never had any issues
when you two were together.

You talked about this with Amy?

Well, I wanted to make sure
that it wasn't a symptom

of a larger biological issue.

She has a PhD.
I was looking out for you.

- You were looking to humiliate me.
- Easy.

You are wrenching too hard.
I got this, all right?

I'm not as useless
as you think.

You are making a feeble attempt
to prove your manhood,

and it is going
to strip the bolt!

I know what I'm doing!

You see what you made me do?

You got to be kidding!

He did it!

Okay. The hole's
too big to patch

before the toxins
get pumped through.

Now it won't just spray
the gas outside.

It'll spray into this bunker.
Killing us all.

Sly.

How long till disperse-ment?

Nine minutes.

We got to get Dorie
to stop the gas.

I can't get through her system.

She's smarter than me.

That's nonsense.
Nobody is smarter than you.

Except for me and Ralph and four
other people I've read about.

Sly, you can stop the gas.
You-you said earlier

that AI can't handle
a paradox, right?

Well, if you give it
a real head-scratcher,

then all its computing power
is gonna be directed

toward solving it,
and we can

slip a directive
into its mainframe.

Dorie, you are familiar
with metaphysical solipsism?

Metaphysical solipsism
is a philosophical theory.

Correct.

It contends
that nothing truly exists

outside of one's mind.

So technically,
Toby doesn't exist.

And you don't need to eliminate
something that doesn't exist.

Hence, you don't need
to eliminate Toby.

My sensors detect
Tobias Curtis's breathing

and thermal energy;
therefore, he exists.

Metaphysical solipsism is wrong.

This is why I hated
philosophy class.

Toby, hold your breath.

She's right--
it's all about breath.

- Uh, how do I stop generating heat?
- Not your breath,

Quincy's breath.

If Sly can get
Dorie preoccupied

with some unsolvable
conundrum,

then her processor
will be vulnerable.

And then if we
can get Quincy topside,

he could use
his gastro-print

to access the
front-door computer

and slip an order
to stop the gas attack

past Dorie's defenses.
Yes! Quincy, you can do this...

Quincy?

Wha...
Hey.

Come out.

We need you.
I'm sorry, I can't.

Quincy, what are you doing?
This room

is hermetically sealed.

It'll be safe
when the gas comes.

Did you ever think
we want to be in there?

Or how about all the people
in the kill radius

around the bunker you designed?

There's limited
oxygen in here.

I'm sorry.

I am not opening the door.

You dirty little
snake in the glass!

Look, I am your wife.
Are you kidding me?

I'm sorry, sweetheart,
it's very hard to hear in here.

Guys, forget about him.
We don't need him.

We need his gut flora,
and he's providing us that

by locking himself
in this airtight room.

I think I get
where you're going.

This carbon scrubber
filters the storage room's air.

He's been in there
hyperventilating

like a baby for the past minute.

It's got to have
some of his microbes in here.

If we isolate
his larger gut flora

into an airtight container,
we can blow it into the sensor.

We create static on the wire
and drag it across the scrubber,

the charged flora molecules
will stick to it,

and then we put the wire
into a compressed air can

that I carry to clean my
tools, and we're good to go.

Let's go get that can.

Okay.

Yeah. Now, we need to create
a powerful enough

electrostatic charge.
We can do that

by rubbing your polyester jacket
against my wool sweater.

Ooh, ooh...

Take it off first.

There is a plane crash.

Every single person
on board dies,

but yet,
there are two survivors.

How is this possible?

Every single person died.

The two that survived
were married.

Son of a brain teaser.
All right, smarty,

try this one on.

How does someone
lift an elephant with one hand?

They do not, as there are
no elephants with one hand.

Or two hands, for that matter.

Damn, you're good.

Guys, Cabe and Paige
just drove onto the property.

They have no idea that the gas
will be released soon.

They'll be dead in five minutes.

Crap.

Can't throw the rope
down the shaft

if we can't get past that.

Egan said there'd be some
security surprises.

Hey, Paige!

Cabe! Can you hear me?

Toby, we're out here,
but there's an electric fence

around the exhaust shaft.

Look, neurotoxic gas
is gonna flood where you are

in minutes.
We can stop it,

but we need you
to send down that rope.

Well, we can't
get it to you.

Egan said the exhaust shaft

is over an industrial fan.
Is that right, Toby?

Yeah, but I left my Mary Poppins
umbrella at home.

We don't need an umbrella.
We have a parachute.

That's too light.
The fan'll blow it back out.

Nope, not if we use this.

Toby, Cabe's gonna try
and throw the parachute

down into the shaft.
Step back.

All right, Cabe.
Look, hey, buddy, I know you can

make this shot.

Sure wish I didn't call 'em
the Washington Generals earlier.

You know who could
make this shot?

Is one of the young
Homeland recruits

who can pass a fitness test
without even trying.

You're trying to piss me off
to psych me up.

Working?
Yep.

There's not enough
of the wire

between the fabric--
move closer.

Closer. It's static electricity,
not real electricity.

Okay, I popped the top
of the air canister.

And I'm covering it
so it doesn't lose pressure.

Give me the wire.
It should have

enough charge by now.

Right.

Here. The scrubber.

Look, I know it's invisible, but
I have a really good feeling

we're getting what we need
off this thing.

I really wish I could help, Amy.

You know me
and my survival instinct issues.

They're actually why
I was drawn to this business

in the first place.

Something for us to explore
when this is all over.

What the hell is that?

Uh, there's a
change of plans.

There's a huge
electrical fence,

so Paige and Cabe
can't get to us.

I got to go up the chimney
like old Saint Nick.

And if you land on the fence?

Toby fricassee.
But Paige and Cabe

are ready with the car to race
me over to thetrol panel.

Which will be meaningless
if Sly doesn't distract Dorie.

Sly, Toby's almost out of here.
So, time and progress update?

Down to two minutes.

I'm trying my best, but
I'm down to knock-knock jokes.

Just get it done.

I told you, I'm trying my best.

What do you think,
I'm lying to you?

Oh. That's it.

I got it.
Walt, send Toby.

I'll have Dorie's circuits
burning in no time.

Hey. Quincy's gut flora.

You are one hell of a man,
you know that?

We survive this,

we're gonna make up for lost
honeymoon time tonight, right?

Deal.

Here he comes.

Electric fence coming up!

Oh, boy!
He's coming right at us.

Oh, oh, aah!

- How you doing?
- Get in.

Dorie, you've answered all of my
questions with great skill.

I'd like to commend you,

but my compliment
would mean nothing, because...

I'm a liar.

Lying is the presentation
of false data.

Correct. Or maybe I don't

think you're correct.

I tell lies, remember?
All the time.

So, do you believe me?

What's wrong, Dorie?

Why no answer?

I am trying
to compute a response.

It's easy.
Do you believe a liar

who tells you that he is a liar?

If you are a liar,

then I can't believe you
when you say you are a liar.

Which would mean you are
the opposite of a liar.

Which would make you truthful,
which would make

your first statement
about being a liar untruthful,

which would make you a liar...
Sly, how goes it?

Dorie's spinning out.
Her RAM is burning

from this puzzle I gave her.
Toby's in the clear.

Except he only has
19 seconds left.

Oh, crap.

Get a whiff of this, baby.

Hello, Dr. Berkstead.

I do not recognize you.

Yeah, it's been a rough day.

Dorie, don't
divert any

processing power away
from the problem you're solving

with Sylvester.
Just cancel all protocols.

Did it shut down?

With a second to spare.

If you guys don't mind,
I'd like to go home now.

Okay, let's get out of here.
Okay, go, go, go.

Dorie, keep working
on that problem

I gave you.
Get back to me on it.

So if the gas
is odorless and colorless,

how are you sure we stopped it?

'Cause we'd be dead by now.

Makes sense.

Oh.

So I guess SafeCorp won't be
too happy with our findings.

Well, something tells me

they'll be bankrupt
before we get paid.

Hello, team.

Want to report that I,
uh, checked the toxin tank.

It has ceased operation.

All is safe.

You know, Quincy, I find it
ironic that we were saved

by the gut flora of someone
who has no guts.

Attagirl.
Let's go.

Good-bye, AI.

Walt, uh, I think
you and I should talk.

Okay.

About what?

Well, you know how, uh,
I let a few bumps in the road

at the start of my honeymoon
completely derail me?

I was being
overly dramatic.

That affected the relationship
with the woman I love.

You mean your repeated
intimacy failures.

That's not my point.
I'm just saying

you are being overly dramatic
due to a dumb dream.

Oh.

You've been bumbling around
Florence all day

'cause you think
you've done something wrong,

and you have not.

So the only way
to excise your demons

is to take away
their power.

Its power
is in its secrecy.

So tell her.

Just say to her,

"Hey, I had a crazy dream
and I've been a putz around you

because of it,
and I'm sorry."

Are you sure?
Absolutely.

You'll sleep well.

Okay.

Hey.

You did excellent work today.

Despite my awkward behavior.

Mm. Yes.

You were odd.

Odder than usual.

Okay, I was keeping my distance
today because, uh--

this is uncomfortable--
because, um,

as you tended to me
when I fell,

I was dreaming many things,
uh, one of 'em was

you and me kissing.

We were married.

Oh.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Uh...
thi-this is not a come-on.

I'm in love with Paige.

It's one of the things
that made it so distressing.

We were married and we kissed.

Yeah, Toby assures me

that I was thinking about you
because I heard your voice.

So it was a dream.
Nothing more.

I felt I owed you
an explanation for today.

So, you know...

Um, I appreciate...

your candor.

And... good evening.

I apologize for
ruining our honeymoon.

I already told you
it's not a big deal.

No, I'm not talking
about that. I...

Listen, I-I...
I was just so grumpy

about that crappy room
and the weather,

and not being able
to fix that flat.

I...

I didn't feel
like a man.

I-I know
I was relying

on an outdated
construct, but...

it all affected me,
emotionally.

And, clearly, physically, and...

I'm so sorry.

Okay,
now let me apologize.

What for?

Uh, I objectified you.
Totally ogled you.

When you went up the exhaust
shaft, ready to save the day,

I checked out your tuchus.

It got my motor running, so...

how about we get out of here
and make up for

the honeymoon time
like you promised?

You don't have to
ask me twice.

Wait till I tell you
about Walter's dream.

Hey.

Do you want
to curl up on my couch?

Oh, I could use a cup of hot tea
and an old movie.

Sounds like a plan.

So I saw you
talking to Flo earlier.

You glad I convinced you
to keep her around?

She was invaluable today.
Yes.

I have to admit the reason why

I didn't want her to
come was, uh, childish.

What was that?
It's very silly, actually.

I-I dreamt we were married

and we kissed.
What?!

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man