All language subtitles for Ready.Player.One.2018.720p.BluRay.x264-SPARKS-HI

Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resync by GoldenBeard

(1980s ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

ANNOUNCER: Get ready for the
feel, the feel of real. X1.

No pain, no gain.

(GRUNTING)

Pizza, guys.

WADE: Whoo-hoo!

(GRUNTING)

Hello, Wade.

Hello, Mrs. Gilmore.

What's the matter?
Life getting you down?

(MRS. GILMORE CHUCKLES)

WADE: I was born in 2027.

After the Corn Syrup Droughts,
after the Bandwidth Riots.

After people stopped trying
to fix problems

and just tried
to outlive them.

My parents, they didn't make
it through those times,

so I live here in Columbus,
Ohio, with my Aunt Alice.

In 2045, Columbus is the
fastest-growing city on Earth.

It's where Halliday and Morrow
started Gregarious Games.

These days,
reality is a bummer.

Everyone is looking
for a way to escape,

and that's why Halliday...

That's why he was
such a hero to us.

He showed us that we could go somewhere
without going anywhere at all.

You don't need a destination

when you're running on
an omnidirectional treadmill

with quadraphonic,
pressure-sensitive underlay.

James Halliday saw the future.

And then he built it.

He gave us a place to go.

A place called

the OASIS.

(CHORUS SINGING)

This is the OASIS.

It's a place where the limits of
reality are your own imagination.

- You can do anything...
- (CROWD CHEERING)

...go anywhere.

Like the vacation planet.

Surf a 50-foot monster wave
in Hawaii.

- You can ski down the pyramids.
- (SKIERS WHOOPING)

You can climb Mount Everest

with Batman.

Check out this place. It's a
casino the size of a planet.

You can lose your money there.

You can get married.
You can get divorced.

You can...
You can go in there.

People come to the OASIS for
all the things they can do,

but they stay because of all
the things they can be.

Tall, beautiful, scary,
a different sex,

a different species,
live-action, cartoon.

It's all your call.

Yeah, that's me.
Well, that's my avatar.

At least, until I feel
like changing it.

Except for eating, sleeping,
and bathroom breaks,

whatever people wanna do,
they do it in the OASIS.

And since everyone is here, this
is where we meet each other.

It's where we make friends.

Locate Aech.

- (BEEPING)
- COMPUTER: Locating Aech.

Aech located.

Sector 12. Planet Doom.

WADE: Planet Doom, the most
dangerous place in the OASIS,

and a pretty great place
to pick up coin.

Figures Aech would be there.

Aech is my best friend
in the OASIS.

He's my best friend, period.

Even though I've never actually
met him in the real world.

- WADE: What's up, Aech?
- Hey, what up, Z?

Next race is in 20 minutes,
and I can't do the late one.

What the hell are you up to?

Man, gettin' my kills on, bro.

Is that Daito?

Daito and Sho.

(BOTH SPEAKING JAPANESE)

This an artifact hunt?

Yup. Gregarious 120.

Turn into any giant robot
for two minutes. That's rad.

WADE: Artifacts.

Those were key.

Halliday made sure
the OASIS was littered

with enough
randomly powerful stuff

that anyone could win
if they had the skills.

Death matches and artifact hunts
are a good way to coin-snatch,

but depending on your level
of armor, they're risky.

(LAUGHS)

You see,
everyone starts the same,

but the more coin you make...

- Mom! Mom!
- ...the more you level up.

If you get killed, your avatar
can come back to life...

Go get your dad!

...but you lose
all your stuff.

(GRUNTS)

Everything you've
ever worked for.

All your money.

(SHOUTS IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

Your clothes.

(SCREAMS)

Your weapons.

Since people spend most of
their time in the OASIS...

(SHOUTING IN JAPANESE)

...losing your shit means...

Well, losing your shit.

(1980s POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Aech, 10 minutes
until the race starts.

AECH: Okay, Mom, I heard you.

WADE: You see, the OASIS was the
brainchild of James Halliday.

He and his partner, Ogden Morrow,
released the first OASIS build in 2025.

It was an instant success, and
it made them both very rich.

But Morrow was out of the picture
after a few years. And Halliday?

He wasn't just the owner of
the world's biggest company.

He was like a god.
People loved him.

They worshiped him
as much as his creation.

Maybe we should stop
talking about it

and start, uh, showing it.

If you all wanna reach
under your seats,

you'll find that there's nothing there.
(CHUCKLES)

- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- But we're gonna... we're each gonna bring you one now.

WADE: And then,
on January 7, 2040...

(MUSIC DISTORTS)

He died.

- (ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
- And what he left behind

changed everything.

Hello. I am James Halliday.

If you're watching this,
I'm dead.

Before I died, I created what we
in the biz call an "Easter egg."

A hidden object in a game that gives
special powers to whoever discovers it.

The first person
to find the egg

I've hidden somewhere
inside the OASIS

will inherit my stock
in Gregarious Games,

currently valued in excess
of half a million do...

Uh, half a trillion
dollars' worth,

and total control
of the OASIS itself.

In the form of my avatar,
Anorak the All-Knowing,

I created three keys.

Three hidden challenges
test for worthy traits

revealing three hidden keys
to three magic gates.

And those with the skill
to survive these straits

will reach the end,
where the prize awaits.

Off you go, keys.

The keys aren't just laying
around under a rock somewhere.

I suppose you could say
they're invisible,

hidden in a dark room
that's at the center of a maze

that's located somewhere

up here.

Let the hunt
for Halliday's Easter egg

begin.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

WADE: The challenge
is to find three keys,

but in five years, no one
has even gotten one key.

And the big scoreboard?
Still empty.

Some long-forgotten gunter
cracked the first clue

and found the first challenge.

Then, this portal appeared.

But the challenge to win the first
key was a race designed by Halliday

that was so hard,
no one had ever finished it.

The only ones still trying are the
gunters, as in "egg hunters,"

like me and Sho and Daito,
and my best friend, Aech.

Oh, and of course, the Sixers.

The Sixers work for IOI...

COMMANDER: Sixers!

WADE: ...Innovative
Online Industries.

They're the second-largest
company in the world

with designs
on becoming the first.

Which is why they're putting
everything they got

into winning
Halliday's contest.

Buckle up!

Sit in!

WADE: We call 'em "Sixers"
'cause that's the company rule.

No name, just numbers.

They have a support team
made up of Halliday scholars.

Like me, they spend all their
time studying pop culture

that Halliday
was obsessed with,

trying to find clues
to solve the contest.

They're just following
the orders of the head of IOI,

this dickweed
named Nolan Sorrento.

How'd you get here before me?

Well, I didn't make a pit stop
at the hair salon.

- What up, Z?
- What's up, Aech?

Saved you a spot.

Thanks, bro.

(BEEPING)

I gotta go to the back.

Ugh. So you can skim coins
from crashed cars?

- That's just sad, man.
- Fuel's low.

Oh, but you still had enough to pay
for that Something About Mary hairdo.

(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

First to the key.

(HORN BLARES)

First to the egg!

(HORN BLARING)

(TRAIN HORN BLARING)

Aech, are you seeing this?

(TIRES SCREECHES)

Yeah, I see it. That's
Kaneda's bike from Akira.

It's a licensed skin
over a standard frame.

WADE: No, not the bike.
Forget the bike.

The girl,
I think it's Art3mis.

The Art3mis? The Sixer Fixer?

I've seen all her walk-throughs,
her Twitch streams.

It's her. It's definitely her.

(HORN BLARES)

(YELPS)

(BEEPING)

(TIRES SCREECHES)

(GRUNTS)

(ROARS)

(GROWLS)

(ROARING)

(GIBBERING)

(GRUNTS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Go, go, go!
Get there! Come on!

AECH: You got it, you got it!

(GROWLS)

Balls.

She's not gonna make it.

Bail! Bail out!

Bail!

ART3MIS: Ow! (GRUNTS)

(ROARING)

(BOTH PANTING)

(MOTORCYCLE SPUTTERING)

(AIR HISSING)

Damn, I loved that bike.

Oh, Aech could...

Well, he's my friend,
but he could fix it for you.

This is my workshop.
Touch nothing.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(STAMMERS)

Where did you find
an Iron Giant?

AECH: Find it? I'm building it.
That's a commission.

WADE: Oh, yeah. Aech is
top-rated on the mod boards.

People all over the OASIS
pay him serious coin.

Oh, hey, check this out!

AECH: Hey. Z, yo.

- The Galactica, of course.
- These are my babies, all right, man?

Sulaco, from Aliens.

Dude, how are you
showing off my shit?

Valley Forge, from Silent Running.
Oh, where's the Harkonnen Drop-Ship?

That thing is sick.
Folds space like a boss.

I mean, you can get from Incipio
to Arrakis in three seconds...

Fingers!

You'll have to excuse him.

He gets a little nervous
around pretty girls.

(SNAPS FINGERS)

(BEEPING)

I can fix it in 10 minutes.

Yup. He's pretty great.

I assume you and Shoulder
Blades are clanned up.

Oh, Aech? Nah.

I mean, he's really good,
but I don't clan.

Oh, 'cause you're Parzival,

as in the knight who found
the Holy Grail by himself.

What about you, Art3mis?

Goddess of the hunt. Clans must
be killing to sign you up.

- Favorite shooter?
- Excuse me?

James Halliday's
favorite first-person shooter.

- What?
- Oh. GoldenEye.

- Playing as?
- Oddjob. Is this a test?

Favorite game variant?

Game variant was "slappers
only." No weapons.

I know what "slappers only" means.
Racer?

Turbo. And his favorite food
was Hot Pockets.

Favorite restaurant
was Chuck E Cheese.

Song was Video Killed the
Radio Star by the Buggles.

Video was Take on Me by A-ha.

Oh, oh... His favorite
quote was from Superman.

"Some people
can read War and Peace

"and come away thinking it's
a simple adventure story..."

"Others can read the ingredients on
the back of a chewing-gum wrapper

"and unlock the secrets
of the universe."

Lex Luthor. (CHUCKLES)

Cool.

What would you do? If you won.
The whole contest, I mean.

Oh! I mean, I've got tons
of plans in the real world.

I'd... I'd move into a huge mansion,
buy a bunch of cool shit, not be poor.

Now I know
why you stopped short.

I stopped because of Kong. No
one ever makes it past Kong.

That... That's...
That's, like, a rule.

Well, then you know it can't be true.
Because Halliday hated making rules.

I can't afford to zero out.

- You're afraid to lose your shit.
- No, I'm not!

What happens when IOI
offers you guaranteed coin

for the keys to the kingdom?

Nolan Sorrento
takes over the world.

A real gunter would risk everything
to save the OASIS from IOI.

Who said that?

Me.

There you go. Good as new.

Thanks for the fix-up, my man.

That's better.

I'll wave to you
from the finish line, McFly.

(CHUCKLES) That went well.

Thanks to you,
Captain Big Mouth.

AUNT ALICE: Wade? Wade?
Where the hell are my gloves?

Shit. I gotta go.

ANNOUNCER: X1.

When I'm after gold on Planet Doom,
I need every edge I can get.

Every push, punch, gunshot,
you feel it all.

ANNOUNCER: Get ready for the
feel, the feel of real. X1.

PLAYER: The X1 is like
wearing a second skin.

A skin that kicks ass.

I zeroed out 'cause
of your broke-ass gloves.

Who told you to use them?

You took hers.

So you lost a death match.

Why don't you just respawn and
level up like everyone else?

You don't get it.

I bought all these power-ups for
this challenge, and I lost it all.

That artifact
was gonna pay for the house!

AUNT ALICE: Wait.

How much of our house money
did you spend on upgrades?

Well, all of it,
but I was gonna win.

(SIGHS) That was our ticket
out of here.

(SOBBING) You idiot.

No, but I only lost 'cause
of the bad gloves.

Our house! Our goddamn house!

WADE: My boys
were in that challenge.

You couldn't have beat them
in a bootsuit, you noob.

Stop! No! No!

Alice, call the police!

No, we are not
calling the cops.

Go to your room, Rick.

Aw, come on, Alice.

Why do you put up with this guy?
He's a shitshow.

I ought to kick the both of you out.
I swear to G-O-D, Wade Watts,

if I catch you
touching my stuff again,

not joking... Out.

WADE: "Wade Watts."

My dad picked that name

because it sounded
like a superhero's alter ego,

like Peter Parker
or Bruce Banner.

But he died when I was a kid.

My mom, too,
and I ended up here,

living with Aunt Alice

and her endless string
of hard-loving losers.

"Halliday hated making rules."

Why is that line
sticking in my head?

Maybe it's 'cause Art3mis
said it, and she's hot.

Maybe it's because
she called me out,

sitting here
in my tiny corner of nowhere,

protecting my small slice
of nothing.

Or maybe...

Maybe it's because
that line means something

and I missed it.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

The day the contest
was announced,

the Halliday Journals
appeared.

He told us to look in his brain.
This was the next best thing.

At first, it was jammed with
gunters looking for answers.

Now, the once-crowded halls
of Halliday's memories

are left to people like me.

Parzival. Oh, joy!

And how will you eat up
my valuable search time today?

Gregarious Games, 2029...
Office party.

Office party. Yes, you've only
seen it a thousand times.

Why not go back?

Each entry into Halliday's
Journals is meticulously assembled

from personal photographs,
home video recordings,

surveillance, and nanny cams.

All rendered into a three-dimensional
virtual experience.

Also, Halliday archived every film,
game, book, and television program

he ever saw,
located on the mezzanine.

No weapons or mature-themed avatars
are permitted within the Journals.

Please enjoy your time with
us, and happy gunting!

HALLIDAY: I like cleaning up.

MORROW: Okay, Jim,
I'm, uh... I'm going.

Everything changes, Jim.
Everything evolves.

HALLIDAY: Some things are perfect
just the way they are. Asteroids.

People don't live inside
an Asteroids arcade cabinet.

I know that.

Yeah, well, people are living
inside the arcade we built.

- I built.
- Uh, well... (SIGHS)

Right. Well, I guess you
can say whatever you want.

I don't really wanna
talk about it anymore.

No, of course
you don't wanna talk about it.

You're forcing me out.

Closer on Halliday.

Look, invention
comes with responsibilities

you didn't ask for.

All right, if you make
something people want or need

then it's up to you to set the limits.
You have to make some rules.

(WHISPERS) "I don't wanna
make any more rules."

I don't wanna make
any more rules.

"I'm a dreamer."

I'm a dreamer.

- I build worlds.
- "I build worlds."

We created something beautiful,
Jim, but it's changed.

Okay? It's really
not a game anymore.

Are we finished?

I liked how things were
when they were...

When it was a game.

And we're back to where we started.
But that's the point, isn't it?

Things move forward
whether you like it or not.

Yeah, we're finished.

MORROW: (SCOFFS) Fine.

HALLIDAY: Why can't we
go backwards, for once?

Backwards, really fast.
Fast as we can. (LAUGHS)

Really put the pedal to
the metal, you know?

Go back 10 seconds!

Why can't we go backwards,
for once?

Backwards, really fast.
Fast as we can. (LAUGHS)

Really put the pedal to
the metal, you know?

Bill and Ted did it.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Back again so soon?

Careful not to lose your shit.

You figured something out.

- Parzival, tell me.
- (HORN BLARES)

(ENGINE REVS)

(HORN BLARING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ROARING)

(ROARING)

(ROARS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(INSTRUMENTS PLAYING
TRIUMPHANT MUSIC)

Nice racing, Padawan.
You're the first to finish.

(STAMMERING)
Mr. Halliday... Anorak.

It's such an honor.

The honor is all mine.

Get yourself a clue.

Who is this Parzival, and
how the hell is he winning?

Well, here's a better question.
Who cares?

Halliday's contest
is vitally important.

I mean, it's nothing less than a
war for control of the future.

But this Parzival?
He's not even clanned up.

He's alone. We have an army.

EXECUTIVE: And yet,
he's got the first key.

Yeah, he has a key,

but you have to get three
of 'em to win the contest.

Our stock dove 6% yesterday.

Loyalty division is reporting
profits of 28%. F'Nale.

We're opening five new
loyalty centers this month.

Debt Services dwarfs Hardware.

Now, you really wanna talk
to me about stock prices?

The shareholders
won't be happy.

It's not our job to make them happy.
It's our job to make them money,

but once we launch this little
baby, they're gonna flip.

We call this Pure O2.

This is the first
of our planned upgrades.

Once we can roll back some of
Halliday's ad restrictions,

we estimate
we can sell up to 80%

of an individual's visual field before
inducing seizures, so picture this...

All of this implies
we win the contest.

Indeed, it does.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Dude, you won the key
and 100,000 coins?

As soon as I took the key,

all the coins
just appeared in my account.

I'll tell you what, I'm
soiling my haptics right now.

What the hell's a Cataclyst?

A bomb. Kills every avatar
on a planet, even the owner.

AECH: Who'd want that?

WADE: IOI.
They buy everything.

Twenty-thou
for the holy hand grenade?

That's a steal!

Whoa! Zemeckis Cube!
I need one of those.

AECH: Okay, don't spend
all your money.

- X1 haptic bootsuit.
- (BEEPING)

Oh, yeah!

i-R0k, old friend.
How are you?

To be honest,
I have kind of a neck thing.

It's like a carpel-tunnel deal

but with your neck,
if that's even a thing.

So if you could just stand
to... to your right.

My right, your left.

Thanks, it's the repetitive stress.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)

Here he is.

The steampunk pirate king.
I knew him well, Sorrento.

There are only three things
in this world I hate,

steampunk, pirates,
and tabbouleh.

I mean,
why do they even have it?

Is there a reason
we're meeting here?

Yes, Nolan. The Orb of Osuvox.

You wanted it. He had it.
And so here it is.

It creates an impenetrable magic
shield that can only be taken down

by a magic spell.

The Orb of Osuvox.

Don't say that again.

Okay.

Now, I'm gonna need you
to keep this for now.

I'm gonna let you know
when I wanna use it.

Okay?

(BEEPING)

Right now, though,
I have another job for you.

Ah.

Parzival.

Let me guess, you want
him off the scoreboard.

Can you do that?

Well, he's a superstar.

He made it
through the first gate

and avatars are gonna be
on him like hoes on Santa.

i-R0k, how much more
do you want?

That's what I like about you, Nolan.
You never lick.

You bite straight
to the chocolaty center

of the Tootsie Pop. (CHUCKLES)

Remember that old commercial,
with the owl?

i-R0k.

Three times my normal fee.

Done.

Wait, really?
I should have asked for five.

Is four still on the table?

WADE: There's five of us
on the big board now.

Art3mis was next,
no surprise there.

She was on the track when I won.
She saw me going backwards.

I gave Aech a tip, made him promise not
to say anything, and then he won next.

I'm pretty sure
he bragged to our pal Daito,

'cause he won right after.

And of course, Daito told
his best friend, Sho...

He totally totaled his car,

but then Sho got it, too.

"A creator who hates
his own creation.

"A hidden key, a leap not taken.
Retrace your steps, escape your past."

"A creator who hates
his own creation.

"A hidden key, a leap not taken.
Retrace your steps, escape your past.

"And the key of jade
will be yours at last."

"Escape your past."

What part of your past are you
trying to escape, Halliday?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

- Hey, it's Parzival!
- Dude!

(ALL CLAMORING)

MAN 1: You're, like,
totally my hero!

WOMAN: Hey, Parzival!
Over here!

MAN 2: Dude, you're amazing!

MAN 3: Hey, Parzival! Right here!
Let me get an autograph!

(GROWLS)

WOMAN: Watch it!

You're famous now! You can't
just go wherever you want!

(STAMMERING) No, no, no, I...

(GRUNTING)

(WADE PANTING)

(GROWLING) Huh?

- (SNARLS)
- Ahh! (WHIMPERING)

- (LAUGHING)
- That is... That is not funny.

(LAUGHING) Oh, God.

WADE: Ugh. (BREATHING HEAVILY)

Oh, God. Don't you get it?

You're "the Parzival" now.

You have to have a disguise.

Okay, here.

Clark Kent glasses.

They hide your identity
without changing your look.

I'm not wearing that.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

MORROW: This is great.

The way your inventory
bursts out when you die.

HALLIDAY: They didn't want
any more blood.

ART3MIS: This is right before
the OASIS went live.

Six days prior.
December 2nd, 2025.

Check this out.

You know who that is?

Is that Sorrento?

WADE: Sorrento started
as an intern.

He claims he learned
at the feet of the master.

That's how he convinced IOI
to create the Sixers for him,

his Halliday knowledge.

But ask Ogden Morrow?

He says the only thing Sorrento
actually knew about Halliday

was how he liked his coffee.

You could have, like,
different tiers of accounts,

like a gold member.

A person could be
silver, platinum, bronze.

You know, depending on
what they paid.

You know, highest one maybe being
"Water" because "OASIS," right?

Hell of a latte.

Can you fast-forward to the
stuff about Halliday's date?

What? Halliday actually went
on a date?

So, what happened?

Nothing. I invited her over.

Well, did you at least
get her name?

Yeah. Kira, I told you, like the
character in The Dark Crystal.

That's her gamer tag.

- Karen.
- Karen.

Yeah, okay? Karen Underwood.

No, no. Karen Underwood,
as in Ogden Morrow's wife?

Just watch.

So, listen, you and Karen Underwood.
What'd you do?

She wanted to go dancing,

so we watched a movie.

And?

- Where's the juice?
- (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

- Give me some juice!
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

- There is no juice!
- Oh, God!

Hold the phone.

Halliday went on a date
with Ogden Morrow's wife?

Just once, years before they
were even married, but yeah.

And despite that,
and the fact that she died,

the name "Kira" is only mentioned
once in all of Halliday's Journals.

CURATOR: That's not possible.

It is. Look it up.

What we just saw is the only
time she's ever mentioned.

It makes no sense.

She was an important part
of both their lives.

I'll bet you anything.
All my coin.

Search
"Karen Underwood Morrow."

Kira, I told you, like the
character in The Dark Crystal.

That's her gamer tag.

WADE: Halliday purposely removed every
mention of her except for this one.

That's weird. Why?

It's like, it was just
so painful for him

to have to see her face
or hear her name.

Well, he loved her.

He couldn't tell that
to Morrow.

Oh, that's sad. He should
have told her how he felt.

Yeah, well,
he missed his chance.

Look.

I found the clue to the race
in the other scene, but...

I've always felt
that the biggest clue

to the contest
was hidden here.

You're right.

I lose.

Don't sweat it, Curator.

You see, Kira is the Rosebud
at the center of his story.

She's the big mystery.

No, no. A bet is a bet.

Oh, wow. A quarter.
You can keep it.

No. You can keep it.

- You free Thursday?
- Who, me?

No, him.

(LAUGHS) Oh, my God. Yes, you!

You know The Distracted Globe?

Yeah, the dance club.

Meet me there. 10:00 p.m.

There's something
I wanna show you.

Uh, bye-bye!

Did she just ask me out?

And I was starting
to like her.

All right.

I don't do that.

AECH: Z, I can't believe
you told her about Kira.

WADE: What? I told you.

Hey, what about this?

No. Have you considered that
Art3mis could be using you?

Hey, dude, she's giving me a clue.
Maybe I'm the one using her.

Should I go more Thriller?

No.

Punk?

No.

Duran Duran.

No.

Does it look like
I'm trying too hard?

Yes! Listen to yourself!

You have a massive cyber crush
on this girl.

She's hacking your heart
to get to your head.

I got it!

- Buckaroo Banzai?
- Yeah!

Really? You're gonna wear the
outfit from your favorite movie?

Don't be that guy.

I am that guy.

Z, you gotta be more careful
about who you meet in the OASIS.

Aech, Art3mis gets me.
She'll get my outfit.

There's just this connection.
I mean, sometimes, we even...

- Finish each other's sentences?
- Yeah!

We have that. Me and you.

Yeah, I know, but that's because
we're best friends, dude.

She could be a dude,
too, dude.

(SCOFFS) Come on.

I'm serious!

She could actually be
a 300-pound dude

who lives in his mama's
basement in suburban Detroit.

And her name is Chuck.

Think about that.

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

MAN 1: Whoa, dude,
is that Parzival?

- MAN 2: Parzival!
- Oh, my God, Parzival!

Come here, man.
Hey, can we get a photo?

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

MAN 3: Thank you so much!
MAN 4: Dude, you're my hero!

Hey, Parzival.

Thank you.

Get out of town!
Buckaroo Banzai?

- Huh?
- I like it. I like Buckaroo Banzai.

- Oh, thanks!
- It's great!

- Yeah! You look...
- Oh.

You look awesome!

- Thank you.
- Wow.

A big one, a small one?

A big one!

- Get out of here.
- (GASPS)

WOMAN 1: What a freak! WOMAN 2:
I thought he was kind of cute.

ART3MIS:
Have you been here before?

It's cool, right? I mean...

- (PHONE RINGING)
- So, what's the plan?

Are you gonna kill their avatars?
Zero them out?

They're both here
at The Distracted Globe.

I can't talk.

ART3MIS: The Distracted Globe
was one of the first clubs

Halliday created in the OASIS.

That's common knowledge.

But I double-checked

and it turns out he started building it
right after that moment you showed me.

The date with Kira.

Right, and she was
a serious dancer.

Maybe he thought
he'd take her here,

like on a virtual date.

As if that ever works.

So Halliday built it for her?

But they never made it
past the first date.

So Halliday's the creator...

Who hates his own creation.

And the club
is the thing he hates.

And "A hidden key,
a leap not taken"?

But people jump off it
all night long.

But none of those people
had the Copper Key,

so when we jump off,
maybe it's different. Right?

WADE: Right.

So we take it together?

Sure.

We're not clanning up
or anything.

Of course not. I don't clan.

Wait...

Whoa!

Ow! Whoa.

I don't think this is it.
No scoreboard, no obstacles.

- Maybe a dance challenge?
- Huh? Whoa!

(MUSIC STOPS)

(STAYIN' ALIVE PLAYING)

Old-school!

MAN: ♪ Well, you can tell
by the way I use my walk

♪ I'm a woman's man
No time to talk

♪ Music loud and women warm

♪ I've been kicked around
since I was born

♪ And now it's all right
I'm okay

♪ And you may look
the other way

You come prepared?

"Prepared"?

What kind of haptics
you rockin'?

You got the gloves and full
visor, or a full body?

♪ Stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha

Can you feel this?

♪ Stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha

Um, yeah.

I got the X1 haptic bootsuit with
the microfiber crotch inlay.

(LAUGHS)

My, Parzival,
you did come prepared.

So, I've been thinking.

Maybe it'd be cool if we
met up in the real world.

No, you'd be disappointed.

No, I wouldn't. I like you.

You don't even know me.

This isn't
what I really look like.

This isn't my real body,
or my real face.

I don't care.

I wanna know your real name.

Stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha

(ART3MIS LAUGHING)

♪ Stayin' alive ♪

- My name's Wade.
- What?

- I said my name's...
- Stop!

Well, Buckaroo blows it.
Shocking.

Are you crazy? You don't
tell anyone who you are.

You can't use your real name.

You're not just anyone.

You don't know me.

You don't know anything about me.
We've never met.

I do know you, Arty.

I'm in love with you.

- Is this part of the challenge?
- No.

- It's an ambush.
- (COCKS GUN)

(GROANS)

IOI, always in the way.

Did you hear what I said?
I said I'm in love with you.

No, you're not.

You only know
what I want you to know.

You only see
what I want you to see.

That's what
you're in love with.

Watch out!

(GROANS)

(YELLING)

Pull.

(GROANS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Head back! Z!
Your armor is running low.

I just bought this.

(GRUNTS)

Zemeckis Cube.

Turns everything
back in time 60 seconds.

And you waited
until now to use it?

Wow, you were amazing.

(GROANS)

(PANTING)
This isn't a game, Z.

I'm doing this to stop IOI.

I'm talking about
real-world consequences.

People suffering.

- Actual life-and-death stuff.
- I know. I know...

No, you don't know! My dad
died in a loyalty center.

He borrowed gear.
(SNIFFLES) He built up debt.

He moved in with the promise of
working it off, but he never did.

IOI just raised
his living expenses,

then he got sick, and he
couldn't afford to get out.

And then he died!

I'm so sorry, I didn't...

No, you don't live
in the real world, Z.

From what you've told me,
I don't think you ever have.

You live inside this...
This illusion,

and I can't afford
to let you distract me.

How the hell
did they get away?

Do you want the long version?
Your guys suck.

They failed
to kill his avatar,

which, if we're offering
constructive criticism,

was a lame idea and only
would've slowed him down.

Whereas my plan, which was cool
because I rock, actually worked.

He's still on the board.

I know that, Nolan.
But he won't be for long.

I did a search
for all the Wades

who had recently bought
an X1 bootsuit,

cross-referenced that with
public records, and voila,

which is French for...
"And then I found out."

Ready?

The real-world identity
of Parzival is Wade Watts.

Voila.

Are you loyal, Ms. Zandor?

You really want me
to answer that?

(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, when you're at war,

you need people
who are loyal to a fault.

People you can count on
to get things done.

I just get people arrested
for not paying their bills.

Yeah, 'cause there are some problems
that require a physical solution,

but there are other times,
particularly at war,

when you need
a different set of rules.

- The rules of war.
- Exactly.

It's too bad my division doesn't
operate inside the OASIS.

Yeah, but if this war
remains in the OASIS,

then you can't do anything.

So, this is one of those conversations
that we're not really having.

Well, we've had these kind
of conversations before,

and look where you are now.

You got a seat on the board,
head of your own division,

a division that will cease to exist if
the wrong person wins this contest.

F'Nale, a game decides
our fate.

The only question is, how far
are we willing to go to win it?

Tell me what you need, Nolan.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(BEEPING)

Whoa.

Where am I?

IOI Plaza. You're a
hologram in the real world.

That's a really cool rig.

Thank you. It's a brand-new
Habashaw, OIR 9400.

It looks like
a giant hamster ball.

You know, if you came to work
at IOI, you'd get one of these.

I don't clan up.

You'd also get your own
penthouse apartment in Columbus

with the
highest-speed connection.

In the OASIS, you'd get unlimited
weapons, magic items, ships.

You want the ship
from Defender?

You know, the kind that can
just jump into hyperspace?

You want
the Millennium Falcon?

You have that?

Anything you need
to help you find that egg,

and then there's the salary.

Four million a year.

And if you do happen to find that
Easter egg, there's a bonus.

Twenty-five million dollars.

(PANTING)

I can see you're using
emotion-suppressing software right now,

and why wouldn't you? It's
smart, not to show your hand.

It is a lot of money.
I could really use it.

But I don't think you and I
would have the same plans.

Well, I don't know about that.
What, for the OASIS?

I guess if you're not
a John Hughes fan...

Of course I am.

Because the first thing
that I would do

is convert all the schools
on Ludus to replicas

from The Breakfast Club
and Ferris Bueller.

No way. That's a great idea.

Which school,
Ridgemont or Faber?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High,
not John Hughes.

It's a trap. Faber College
from Animal House.

John Hughes didn't direct

Fast Times at Ridgemont High
or Animal House.

Ferris Bueller and The Breakfast Club,
they went to Shermer High School,

which is in Shermer, Illinois.
I know what you think.

You think
I'm a corporate asshole,

that I don't appreciate
pop culture, but...

Man, that's not true. You know,
when I wanna blow off steam...

Drink Tab, play Robotron,
listen to Duran Duran.

I crack open a Tab.

I put on some Duran Duran.
I play Robotron.

That's why I love the OASIS.

'Cause it's just full
of all these things, man,

that people love. You know?

I'm a businessman. I get it.

But I gotta do my job.

(SOFTLY) But I didn't ask you here just
to help us find the egg, Parzival.

I asked you here
for what comes after.

What would Halliday say?

James Halliday is dead.

Yeah. He is.

All that's left of him is this contest.
And you know what?

It just seems like he
wouldn't want you winning it.

A fanboy knows a hater,

and I know you've got a whole
department of oologists in your ear.

So, if you wanna know
what I really think...

I think you're full of shit.

Here's my offer.

Your board of directors,
you got them in the other ear?

Why don't you tell 'em this.

If they dump you,
I'll consider it.

I might say something
off the record.

I had to make the offer.

The board expected it, but I was
really hoping you'd say no.

Because if anyone's gonna win
this competition, it's me.

My avatar gets the egg

'cause I'm the only one here with
the balls to run this place.

Wow, you really
switched gears there.

From fairly reasonable
to maniacal overlord.

You should be grateful, Wade.

You won't be around
to endure my maniacal reign.

Yeah, that's right.
I know who you are.

Wade Owen Watts,
born August 12, 2027.

I also know where you are.
Unit 56K, Columbus stacks.

You were last seen entering
your trailer three days ago.

You haven't left since.

WADE: What are you doing?
You can't...

With all that's going on
in the world,

do you really think that
anyone's gonna give a damn

about an explosion

in some ghetto trash
rat warren in Columbus?

(STAMMERS) Sorrento, don't do this.
I'm not even there!

Not for long.

(PANTING)

Call Alice.

Dial Alice.

(RINGING)

Pick up! Pick up! Alice!

(CONTINUES RINGING)

This bootsuit's pretty awesome.
Thanks for that.

Rick! Rick, the place
is gonna blow!

Rick, is that Wade?

- Put Alice on!
- Let me talk to him.

Don't call here anymore,
you got me?

(PANTING)

I don't wanna hear your voice
ever again.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

(BEEPING)

Contact Aech, Daito,
Sho, and Art3mis.

IOI came for me
in the real world.

They gotta be coming after
you, so wherever you are...

(MUFFLED GRUNTING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Sorry about the blindfold.

My guys are a little paranoid.

Say that again.

My guys are a little paranoid.

Art3mis?

My real name is Samantha,
but yeah, I'm Art3mis.

Showers are that way,
clean clothes, too.

Welcome to the rebellion,
Wade.

WADE: That's IOI.
So the stacks are over there?

We've been living this close
to each other the whole time?

Next door,

around the world, it's... it's
all the same in the OASIS.

For the record,

um...

I'm not disappointed.

You said I... I would be
disappointed when I met you, but...

I'm not.

I've lived with it my whole life.
You don't have to pretend.

You have a birthmark, so what?

Why would that scare me?

Z, if I hurt you,
I'm... I'm sorry.

No, it's...

Wait, did... did you
just call me "Z"?

- Oh, my God. Did I?
- I think you did.

(LAUGHS) Wade, I'm sorry.

Yeah, Wade, Z.

You can call me whatever you want.
And I'll call you Sam.

No.

Uh, Samantha?

Okay. Cool.

Wow.

It's so much slower here.

I mean, the wind,
the people...

Everything.

We forget what it's like
to be outside.

Yeah.

(WADE CHUCKLES)

- Uh...
- Oh, shit!

- I just figured it out.
- Figured what out?

The second clue.
I know what it means.

We've been thinking about it
too literally.

"The leap not taken,"

the leap Halliday didn't take,
is with Kira.

Yeah, but... I mean, he blamed her
for breaking up him and Morrow.

No. Halliday was madly
in love with her.

He had a chance with Kira. He had
a chance to kiss her, but...

He didn't take the leap.

Right. So that's where
we go next.

The place where the leap
wasn't taken.

Where the date was.

At the movies!

- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
- Hey, Curator.

We figured out the second clue.
The challenge is here.

Halliday kept track of every
movie he ever watched,

the week and the year he watched
it, and how many times.

Curator, can we see
November 23 to 27, 2025?

That's the week
he went on the date with Kira.

Okay, so our options for that
week are The Fly remake.

Great flick,
terrible date movie.

Say Anything...
That would make sense.

We gotta remember the clue. "A
creator who hates his own creation."

The Shining!

It's Halliday's
11th favorite horror film,

and it's based on the best-selling
book by Stephen King,

who hated the movie!

Hey! No side chitchat.

I think we found it.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Are you absolutely sure
you want to go here?

Absolutely positive.

Let's hope
you have the belly for it.

(ALL GASP)

(THEME FROM
THE SHINING PLAYING)

Look.

Ticking clock.

Okay, so I'm estimating about

five minutes to find the key.

Yeah, there are so many keys
in The Shining, though.

Where do we start?

I've never seen The Shining.
Is it really scary?

Uh, I had to watch it
through my fingers.

WADE: Okay, so we got the key
from room 237,

the keys to the Snowcat,

or the keys they give Jack
at the beginning of the movie.

ART3MIS: Well,
if it's "the leap not taken,"

maybe the key
isn't a key at all.

SHO: I know
where the Snowcat keys are!

WADE: I say we split up.

We get all the keys

and then we meet back
at the Torrances' apartment.

BOTH: Hello, Danny.

Come play with us.

Little girls, y'all know
how to get out of here?

Wait, wait!

Wait, where's Aech?

AECH: Wait!

Aech!

No, no, no, no!

(SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

Ahh!

(GASPING)

Ahh!

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Oh, uh, hi, naked lady.
I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to interrupt,
uh, your bath time.

Uh, I know self-care
can be important.

Uh, but can you do me a favor and
tell me, where are all the exits?

Huh. Whoa.

Okay, am I being punked?

'Cause you're likin' me
a little way too much.

All right, you know what?
I'ma go with it.

(WOMAN CACKLING)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

Ahh!

(YELLING)

(CACKLING)

(YELLING)

(PANTING)

(CACKLING)

(WHIMPERS)

(SCREAMING)

(AECH PANTING)

Time's running out.

Yo, Z, is Art3mis
pissed at me?

Dude, I'm pissed at you. You've
never seen The Shining, have you?

You know I hate scary movies!

We got the key.

Sweet! To room 237!

We ain't got no business
goin' to room 237!

We should stay out!

Plus, there was this crazy,
naked zombie lady in there.

There are no zombies
in The Shining.

Well, maybe it's not supposed
to be like the movie.

Kira is the key.
You're the one who said it.

Hey, y'all.
I saw a picture of Kira!

- ART3MIS: Huh?
- (ALL GROAN)

(STRAINING) Where?

ART3MIS: It's Kira.
"Escape your past."

"The leap not taken."

Halliday's greatest fear
wasn't The Shining

or any book or movie.

His biggest fear
was kissing a girl.

That's the leap
he couldn't take.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING
IN THE DISTANCE)

The ballroom.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

- WADE: Aech, come on.
- (GRUNTS)

Zombies. Told you.

ART3MIS: That's her.

That's Kira.

None of this
is in The Shining.

Z, look. That's the zombie-circle
level in Mayhem Mansion,

one of Halliday's first games.

The whole Shining trivia
is just a diversion.

One minute left.

How do we get to her?

Take the leap.

- Wait!
- (GRUNTS)

ALL: Whoa!

(GRUNTS)

Okay, Mr. Dead Guy.
Cool if I lead?

(GROWLS)

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

- (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Care to dance?

Do you know how long I've
been waiting for you to ask?

Well, well, well.

So you found my Jade Key.

Imagine that.

Thank you.

- Kira was a very beautiful...
- Go on.

One of our oologists saw them
enter the media library.

She cracked the clue.

Now, we just have to win
The Shining challenge.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Get her off me!
Get her off me!

(WOMAN CACKLING)

(SHRIEKING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Mr. Sorrento, I really think
you need to see this.

Now Parzival's
got the Jade Key.

He's alive.

I know. I'll get back to you.

I got what you're looking for.

Freeze. This guy.
The one with the lame tattoo.

Enlarge.

Run him through our database,
every IOI drone in Columbus.

Find him.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Groceries are here.

All right. Gluten-O's...

SAMANTHA: "If you know
the answer ultimate,

"divide it
by the number magic,

"and what you need, want, and desire
will be found in the fortress tragic."

"Tragic," that's gotta be
Halliday referring to himself.

Why?

Because he was lonely.

He had no one to spend his
life with towards the end.

Yeah, that's true.

The contest has gotta be somehow
about connecting with someone.

Anyone.

He wants the person
who cares for the OASIS

to be connected
with the world.

That's what I think
he's trying to tell us.

Wade.

You understand Halliday.

You know him
better than anyone.

It's exactly
why I think you'll win.

Really? You really think
I'm gonna win?

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

MAN: Do not move!

Target identified!

Freeze! Don't move!

- This leads right to the alley.
- You first.

I'm right behind you. Go now!

Come on!

- Wade, the OASIS needs you.
- What?

- I'm gonna delay them.
- Wait!

No, no, no, wait! No, no, no!

You'll forgive me
for this, I promise.

MAN: Freeze, freeze, freeze!

Don't move!

Samantha Evelyn Cook.

IOI has purchased and consolidated
all of your outstanding debt,

currently in excess
of 23,000 credits.

You will be remanded to the
nearest IOI loyalty center

until your debt
is paid in full,

including any interest,
processing,

or late fees
you incur henceforth.

MAN 1: Does anybody have eyes? MAN
2: Check down the next street!

- "First to the key."
- "First to the egg."

Wait, what?

"Never trust someone you meet
in the OASIS."

"She might be a 300-pound dude
named Chuck..."

"Who lives in his mama's
basement in suburban Detroit."

Aech!

Helen. My dad called me "H."
It kinda stuck. Let's go!

That thing's IDing my van.

(YELLS)

(GRUNTING)

Come on. They've spotted us.

Daito.

My real name is Toshiro.
Samantha got us a message.

She told us to meet you here.

Samantha,
they took her to the...

The loyalty center, I know.

Look, in other awesome news, the
Sixers found the third challenge.

- What?
- Just come on, get in!

All right. Let's go.

Hurry up.
Go, go, go. All right.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

How did IOI find
the third challenge so fast?

IOI cracked the first
three lines of the clue,

so they knew it was sector 14

but they couldn't figure out
"the fortress tragic."

So they sent every guide
they had into that sector

until they found
the right fortress.

Sho?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm 11, so what?

His real name is Xo.

But everyone else calls
me Sho, no big deal.

No. It is a big deal.

Sho, you're the world's most
badass 11-year-old ever.

He knows.

Shut up! Let him tell me.

Aech!

We have to go save Samantha.

Well, we can't just
go through the doors of IOI.

Look, I've been thinkin' about it.
I got a better plan.

You saw Sorrento's rig, right?

Yeah.

Let's go after the man himself and
make him give Art3mis back to us.

But first,
I have to know exactly,

how much about Sorrento's rig
do you remember?

Kind of everything.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Maintenance,
report to loyalty pod 31-B.

Security, please report
to section 97 for escort.

(GRUNTING)

Hey! Newbie, get to work.

Get to work.

(GROANING)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Work violation.
Work violation.

Lay those charges
every six feet.

(GRUNTS)

Keep it moving!

Hey, you!

Those are explosives!

(GROANING)

IOI will not reimburse
any lost coin if you zero out.

Keep it moving!

So what is this challenge,
some sort of video game thing?

An Atari 2600, sir.

And every game ever made for it,
thousands of possibilities.

MAN: Come up!

(SCREAMS)

(NOLAN SNICKERING)

Halliday,

this is how
you plan to resolve

the fate of the world's most
important economic resource?

- Call me when you're close.
- Yes, sir.

Go, go! No! Ahh!

One minute into Centipede,
the ice broke.

It has to be Joust!

Halliday still holds the world record
on the 2600 port of that game.

Maybe we just need
to beat his high score.

Pitfall! One of the only 2600
games that still hasn't ended.

MAN 1: And how about
those Swordquest games?

MAN 2: Yes!
The Swordquest games.

They were created for a contest
Atari held with real...

i-R0k, how are we doin'?

To be honest, I think I need
physical therapy because it's not...

Is the Orb ready?

Um, as you wish.

(GRUNTING)

The Orb...

Of Osuvox.

Ah...

How does it work?

Has it got, like, a remote or
is there a button or something?

Nolan, it's a level-99
magic artifact,

not one of your drones, so it
is activated by a magic spell.

Would you care
to do the honors?

(CHANTING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

(GUNS COCKING)

WADE: Where is she?

How'd you get in here?

- Art3mis.
- Who?

Samantha Cook. Where is she?

If you wanna talk, we can talk,
but you gotta put that gun down.

You killed my mom's sister.

You think I won't kill you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just slow down, okay?

That was a corporate decision.
It was not personal.

Where is she?

She's downstairs
in the loyalty center!

I know she's in
the goddamn loyalty center.

You're gonna tell me
exactly which rig she's in

and the access code
to contact her.

Yeah, that seems appropriate.

TOSHIRO:
Start with access code.

NOLAN: 6, 45, 7, 25.

TOSHIRO: Where's the rig?

I think he pissed himself.

Good job, Z.
We're in his account.

So he really doesn't know
he's in the OASIS?

This is what Sorrento
should be seeing,

but this... This is what we're
making him see.

We grabbed him in transit just as
he was logging out of the OASIS,

so he thinks he's back in his
office in the real world.

But actually, he's here, in the
identical office that Aech built.

SHO: So, you basically
just remotely hacked his rig.

AECH: A fixed rig like Sorrento's
is easy to locate, hard to hack.

WADE: Unless he's stupid enough to
leave his password lying around.

AECH: Loyalty center, I'm in.

WADE: All right,
let's get to work.

- WADE: Arty.
- Z? Z? Z?

Arty, don't say anything.

I'm tapped directly
into your audio feed.

ART3MIS: How did you find me?

We got his password,
hacked Sorrento's rig.

Z, I have something
to tell you.

Not now. I have something to show
you that'll get you out of there.

The Sixers found the third challenge.
It's on Planet Doom.

And there's more,
they just put a force field

around Anorak's Castle.

I heard one of the guards
calling it "the Orb of Osuvox,"

and the only way to take it
down is from the inside.

She's right.
Level-99 artifact,

creates a magic-resistant,
impenetrable barrier.

No way through it.

Okay, listen. That's not
important right now.

What's important is that
we get you out of the rig.

All right, so I'm looking
at a diagram of your rig.

If you reach up with your
left hand at 11 o'clock,

there's some... there's a
panel above your head.

Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I can feel it.

WADE: Okay, there should be
two release handles.

Nine o'clock and three o'clock.
Can you feel them?

- Yeah, I got it.
- Okay, pull it towards you.

(GRUNTS)

Okay, inside the panel,
there's a lever.

Grab it with your right hand
and slide it to the left.

That should release you.

(GRUNTS)

- (BEEPING)
- (EXHALES)

It worked. It worked, I'm out.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Loyalty pod 41-F,

you are on an authorized
break for 10 minutes.

Pod 41-F, you are
on 10-minute break.

Proceed to break area.

Wade, are you still there?

Yeah, I'm here. Where are you?

Where is Sorrento's office?

It's in the IOI war room, two
levels above where you are now.

But that's not the way out.

What's his password?

Wade, answer me.

Okay, it's capital
B-0-55-man-69.

But, Arty, you need to go.

You need to raise an army.

An army?

Get to Planet Doom,
and wait for my signal.

What signal?

I'm gonna take down
that shield.

Wait, Arty, wait! You gotta
get out of there! Arty!

Hey, how much
are they paying you?

- 'Cause, man, I got a lot of paper.
- (TOSHIRO SHUSHING)

You know, I can make you,
like, a forest.

Hey, shut up.

Okay.

This isn't real,
you're tapping my feed.

Uh-oh. Guys.

F'Nale, they've hacked my rig.
They're after the girl.

Meet me at loyalty.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Pod 41-F, you
have exceeded your break time.

Report to security or your coin
count will be reset to zero.

So, she just walks out of
here, how does that happen?

They're smart. They knew
what they were doing.

But we know they're in Columbus. And
now, all five of them are together.

Wait. Wait, we know what?
How do we know?

We have the make and model of the van.
We'll spot them.

"We'll spot them"?

That sounds like a great
inscription for our tombstones.

Why didn't you tell me
this earlier?

It wasn't relevant yet.

I need to know where they are.

We need to know.
We need to find them!

They're kids, Nolan.
Man the hell up!

Do your job, and I'll do mine,
unless you wanna take this

and go after them yourself.

Find them!

The Complete Nancy Drew,
Kegel Exercises for...

Bingo. Okay.

"Congratulations, you are the
proud owner of the Orb of Osuvox,

"a 99th level magic artifact.

"Read these instructions before deploying.
To turn orb on, off."

Off! Yes, off.

"Utter spell
within 10 feet of orb."

(CHANTING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

Citizens of the OASIS,

I am Parzival,
first to the key.

I'm here talking to all of you now
because our future's being threatened

by people who will stop at
nothing to win this contest.

Some of you already know this,

and you've lost much more than
just your avatars or your weapons.

Some have lost their freedom.
Some have lost their lives.

And now, this.

A force field
around the third challenge.

I only came here to escape the
shitty hand that life dealt me.

But I stayed,
like many of you,

because I found something
much bigger than just myself.

I found a cause.

I found my friends.

And yes, I know
it's kind of a groaner, but...

I found love.

And I don't wanna lose that

to this colossal douchebag,
Nolan Sorrento.

This guy.
Back to work, people.

He thinks that we're all too
distracted to even notice...

Nolan Sorrento thinks
that we won't put up a fight.

Sir! Sir!

This is going out live!

WADE: The only thing
Halliday let this guy do...

- It's absolutely everywhere.
- ...was get him a cup of coffee.

And now, we're supposed
to hand him the OASIS?

NOLAN: This Parzival...
Oh, man.

Come on, come on.
Give me this thing.

MAN: Yes, sir.

NOLAN: Left arm.

- Left arm!
- MAN: Sir.

NOLAN:
No, I need the left arm.

No, I don't care if...
I want it on.

WADE: He thinks that we
won't even put up a fight!

Well, I say he's wrong.

I say, tell that to the gunter
clans in the gold mines of Gygax.

(WHISPERING)
Activate the Iron Giant.

(GRUNTING)

Ask yourselves, are you willing
to zero out for the OASIS?

Are you willing to fight?

I am Parzival
of the High Five.

In the name of Art3mis,
in the name of Aech,

in the name of Daito and Sho,

we ask you to join us
on Planet Doom.

In the name
of James Halliday himself,

help us save the OASIS.

(WIND HOWLING)

(DISTANT RUMBLING)

(RUMBLING INTENSIFIES)

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

No, no, no, no.

"No man is a failure
who has friends."

(NOLAN GROWLS)

SOLDIER: Squadron 14, armor
up, you're in the lead.

(GRUNTS)

One minute into Swordquest,
the ice broke.

(SIGHS) Well, all three Swordquests.
What's next?

(OVERLAPPING)
Dark Cavern, Laser Blast.

It's Adventure.

Released in 1979,
for the 2600,

Adventure was created by
Warren Robinett,

who was the first video game designer
ever to hide his name. In fact...

- (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
- Try Adventure.

Play Adventure.

(PANTING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(CONTINUES PANTING)

(DEVICE TRILLING)

More than a minute,
we're still alive.

This must be the right game.

(ART3MIS CHANTING
IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

How long does it last,
this orb thing?

(CHANTING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

I'd say about ten...

Yeah, about 10 million years,
so we should be fine.

(CHANTING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

First to the key!

ALL: First to the egg!

First to the egg!

First to the egg!

MAN:
♪ We're not gonna take it

♪ No, we ain't gonna take it

♪ We're not
gonna take it anymore

♪ We've got the right
to choose it

♪ There ain't no way
we'll lose it

♪ This is our life,
this is our song

Adventure.

♪ We'll fight the powers
that be just

♪ Don't pick
our destiny 'cause

♪ You don't know us,
you don't belong

- (SQUEALING)
- (ALL GRUNTING)

(MAN YELLING)

- (GRUNTS)
- MAN: What? Come on!

- (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)

♪ Your gall is never-ending

♪ We don't want nothin'
Not a thing from you ♪

(GRUNTING)

- (BEEPING)
- (MAN GROANS)

WADE: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

The Sixers are in the final challenge.
It's an Atari 2600.

Are you in the Sixer war room?

No, no, no.
You gotta get out of there.

They're playing Adventure.

Adventure, of course!

Created by Warren Robinett!

He was the first designer to
ever hide an Easter egg in...

Dude!

We're looking for a USPS
truck, Ohio plates,

a drone spitter, 2036 model.

Daito! When are you
getting into this fight?

(GUN CLICKING)

- I'm out. Inventory's empty.
- (ALARM BEEPING)

Last clip for me.

More weapons!

Anti-personnel
ordinance cannon!

Anti-personnel
ordinance cannon!

(ALL GROAN)

Railgun!

Railgun!

(ALL GROAN)

Yo, Z!

Yo, Z! Try this little guy.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

(WADE YELPING)

- (SCREAMS)
- CHUCKY: Ow!

Get rid of it! Get rid of it!

It's fucking Chucky!

(CHUCKY LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(ALL GROANING)

COMMANDER: Move! Move!

Go, go, go!

(ALL YELLING)

Mechagodzilla!

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

WADE: Daito, we need you!
Daito, now!

Get to the bridge.
Go now, he's distracted.

Go, go, go.

(ROARS)

(SPEAKING JAPANESE)

(BOTH YELPING)

Z!

(ART3MIS SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(ALL GROANING)

(AECH GROANS)

Arty!

Get to the castle! Win the
third key before they do!

(ROARS)

(ALARM BEEPING)

What is that?

SHO: He's only got 30 seconds
before changing back!

(ALARM CONTINUES BEEPING)

Daito, abort, abort!
You got 10 seconds!

(ALARM TRILLS)

(ALARM BEEPING RAPIDLY)

DAITO: First to the egg!

- (ROARING)
- (WADE AND SHO SCREAM)

(MISSILES ARMING)

(AECH GRUNTING)

Shit, it's her.

(OBJECT GIGGLES)

(CACKLING)

WADE: Arty! Arty!

SHO: Z! Got to get
to the castle!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

She never left.
She's still here.

The girl's in the war room.

(ALARM TICKING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

No, no, no.

(GROANING)

- (AECH GRUNTS)
- WADE: Sho! Hang on!

(ALARM BEEPING)

(SHO GRUNTS)

No!

(GRUNTING)

WADE: Arty, we've got this.
You need to log out.

If the game is Adventure,
why haven't they won yet?

I don't know. Arty, Arty.

I'm serious, Sorrento's crazy.
He'll kill you.

What are you looking at?

There's nothing over there.

You're in trouble, aren't you?

Samantha, you know I love you.

Not the time, Z.

I can handle the challenge,

but I can't let you get hurt
in the real world.

Get out of IOI,
and meet us at River South.

Wade, no.

You'll forgive me
for this, I promise.

Wade, no, no, no.

(GRUNTS)

(ALARM BEEPS)

Get it together, Sixer.
Back to respawn.

Let's go, move.

You're in.

Holy hand grenade!
How much did that cost?

Less than
it's gonna cost them.

What is that?

Sir, the gunters
are approaching the challenge.

- i-R0k?
- In position, sir.

Prepare my rig.

The ice is holding.
Still going.

WADE: Wait.

He's trying to win.

Yeah! I won.

He lost.

Not Adventure.

(ALL CLAMORING)

Everyone who wins loses.

It's not about winning.
It's about playing.

Remember
Halliday's announcement.

The keys are invisible, and
they're hidden in a dark room

that's at the center
of a maze.

Well, there's a secret in Adventure,
and you don't find it by winning.

You find it by wandering
around in a dark room.

Until you get
to the invisible dot.

It's pretty easy
if you know what you're doing.

NOLAN: Really?

Let me finish it for you.

(SHO GRUNTING)

It's your last chance, Wade.

Last chance. Give me the key.

I give you 50 million
in your account right now.

Why the hell
would I ever do that?

SHO: Dude!
That's the Cataclyst.

Now, personally, I don't care.

I'd just as soon never set
foot in the OASIS again,

let alone have to deal
with any of this absurdity.

But I know how important Halliday's
competition is to you, so...

I will never let the future of the OASIS
rest in your hands, Nolan Sorrento.

Well, that's fine.
Three easy steps. One.

Wait, I thought you were bluffing. You
know that kills all of us, right?

I've got 10 years' worth
of shit inside of me.

Last chance. Two.

I'm not goin' out like that.

That's a camper move.

You don't even know
how to activate an orb.

(WADE GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Yeah, I felt those.

But this is my world,
Sorrento.

Hadouken!

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

- No, no, no!
- Step three.

No, no, no!

(WHIMPERS)

(YELPING)

(PLAYERS GROANING)

Get me out of this thing.

Uh...

Guys?

Z. He's still alive!

Extra life.

Thanks, Curator.

Hold on.

Live feed
in all OASIS channels.

Halliday's letting everyone
watch the end of the contest.

(LAUGHS) That's so Halliday.

God damn it,
we tried Adventure.

No, we tried to win it.

But the hidden room isn't
at the end of the game.

You've gotta go straight to the
invisible dot at the start.

(PANTING)

Is that her?

Red hair, IOI uniform, doesn't
know what planet she's on?

That's her.

I'm Toshiro.
You know me as Daito.

ART3MIS: Oh.

Hey, Arty.

Yeah, I know. Not what
you were expecting, huh?

Yeah, I wasn't expecting
a late '30s-model postal van.

Wade?

Wait, I thought the Cataclyst went off.
How are you still playing?

Extra life, long story.
Sorry I shot you.

Sho?

What? Do I have to wear
a sign saying,

"I am 11 years old, shoot me first"?
No, thanks.

- Dude, give me a hug.
- Ninjas don't hug!

All right, everybody,
hold on to somethin'.

(BEEPING)

Got you.

Come on, Nolan. Pick up.

F'Nale, tell me
something good.

I've got a drone on their tail.
I'm close.

NOLAN: Send me coordinates.

Maybe you should
leave this to me, Nolan.

(LINE DISCONNECTS)

Nolan? Nolan.

Out.

Give me that.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

AECH:
What's goin' on out there?

SHO: The game is over for them.
What are they watching?

The final key!
It's being broadcast.

WADE: You see,

Warren Robinett
was proud of Adventure.

He wanted people to know
who was behind it.

That's why he created
the first digital Easter egg

and to find it,
you didn't even have to win.

You just had to blindly play,
searching around

in rooms for an invisible dot.

You took the dot
back to the main screen

and that's when you found the first
Easter egg ever put in a video game.

- The creator's name.
- (BEEPING)

What's going on, man?
I can't see shit.

Parzival just got
the Crystal Key!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Do you want it or not?

Aech,
what the hell's going on?

Just practicing my Mario Kart.
What do you think?

IOI's trying to kill us, man!

Everyone watching, if you're
in the Columbus stacks,

this is Parzival.

My real-world name is Wade Watts,
and we're gonna need your help.

Aech, head for the stacks!

Okay, hold on!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Stick the key in,
how hard is it?

Come on.

- (ALL CHEERING)
- Yeah! Yes!

That's it?

Yeah, that's it.

Now, you just sign these papers,
and the OASIS is yours.

You will be
its sole proprietor.

That ain't so bad, is it?

(PANTING)

(YELLS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

I'm gonna need a second.

(YELLS)

(GROANS)

(YELPS)

This is wrong.

This pen, this contract.

This is the moment
that Halliday made Morrow

sign over his shares
in Gregarious.

That was the biggest mistake
of his life.

He knew that.

This can't be the end.

It's a test.

I won't make
the same mistake you did.

Oh, good.

I just needed to be sure.

This is where you grew up.

(VIDEO GAME MUSIC)

Oh, that's just me
a long time ago.

I like to have him around
from time to time.

Hey, I have
to show you something.

This, uh... Come on.

This is the button.

If you push it, the whole
simulation shuts down

and a tapeworm program will erase
all of the backup servers.

So you now have the power
to turn the OASIS off forever.

Do you understand?

(GRUNTS)

(PANTING)

Yeah,

try not to accidentally erase

the whole of the OASIS
on your first day.

The stacks are straight ahead!

(ALL GROANING)

HALLIDAY: Well, I expect you have to go.
I know I do.

So, now is the time for you
to receive your prize

because you won
all three keys.

Once you take this egg,
the game will be over.

The egg, the egg...

We know what you did here.

You turn around and walk out
of here while you still can.

- (GUN COCKS)
- (CROWD GASPS)

I created the OASIS

because I never felt at home
in the real world.

I just didn't know how to
connect with the people there.

I was afraid
for all of my life.

Right up until the day
I knew my life was ending.

Now, that... That was when
I realized that,

as terrifying and painful
as reality can be,

it's also the only place

that you can get
a decent meal.

Because

reality

is real.

You understand
what I'm saying?

Yes. Yes, I do.

He did it.

He got the egg.

Hooray.

- No!
- No! Please!

(VEHICLES APPROACHING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

OFFICER: Hold it!

Drop the gun! Now!
On the ground!

Turn around!
Hands on your head.

Walk back towards me.

WADE: Mr. Halliday.
Something I don't understand.

You're not an avatar, are you?

No.

Is Halliday really dead?

Yes.

Then what are you?

Goodbye, Parzival.

Thanks.

Thanks for playing my game.

Wade?

- Ogden Morrow?
- Ogden Morrow?

You can call me "Og."

Now, there are some people out here
that would very much like to meet you.

Wow, this is incredible.

It's an honor to meet you,
Og, but I...

There's something
I need to do first.

I'm not like Halliday.

I'm taking the leap.

We're looking for Wade Watts.

We need you to make a statement
about the clip you sent in

of Nolan Sorrento's
confession.

Uh, that was me.

What? I record everything
in my workshop.

Help me out of this.

Who are you guys?

The people you need right now, lawyers.
From Gregarious Games.

They want
your signature, Wade.

I'm splitting it with my clan.

We're gonna
run things together.

That's a good choice.

(CROWD CHEERING)

F'Nale, listen to me
very carefully.

(NOLAN GROANS)

Mr. Morrow... I mean, Og,

how'd you get here so fast?

I flew from the stars
on my magic sleigh.

(CHUCKLES)
Everyone's been watching.

Of course, I've been watching
a little closer than most.

You?

You're the Curator?

(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Well played, Parzival.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Jim told me
nothing about the contest,

so there was no rule about me
losing a bet to a smart kid.

Not that you needed my help.

You figured out that Kira
was the key on your own.

Yeah, but...
Kira wasn't the key.

It was you, Mr. Morrow.

You were the Rosebud.

And Halliday's
biggest regret was

losing his only friend.

(CLEARS THROAT)

You know,
Jim used to say the OASIS

was never supposed to be
a one-player game.

Now, who do we have here?

Oh. Well, look who it is.

It's my heroes, the High Five.

- You must be Art3mis.
- Samantha.

WADE: The High Five
took over the OASIS,

and the first thing we did

was sign Ogden Morrow to
a non-exclusive consultancy.

The salary, per his demand,

was 25 cents. One quarter.

(COIN CLINKS)

With his guidance,
our second move was to ban

any loyalty centers
from accessing the OASIS.

IOI had no choice.
They shut 'em all down.

The third thing we did
wasn't as popular.

We closed the OASIS
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I know, it sounds
like a weird move,

but people need to spend
more time in the real world.

'Cause, like Halliday said,

reality is the only thing
that's real.

Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resync by GoldenBeard