All language subtitles for Helicopter Mom (2014) ALL WEB-DL . HDRip

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,947 3, 2, 1. 2 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,798 WELL, I'M JUST PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU. I AM NOT HOVERING. 3 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,200 OKAY. 4 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,634 YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE MY BABY. 5 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,636 LET'S GO. I'M NOT READY. 6 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,306 H-HOW CAN YOU NOT BE READY? I'M NOT READY YET. 7 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,691 H-HOVER? YOU THINK I HOVER? 8 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,626 YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN, LIKE, HOVERING OVER ME. 9 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,467 LLOYD. 10 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,203 LLOYD. 11 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,371 LLOYD, LLOYD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 12 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,141 DO YOU LOVE YOUR MOMMY? DID YOU WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT? 13 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,612 ARE WE HERE? 14 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,880 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 15 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,615 HANG ON, HANG ON. 16 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,317 STAY THERE. I'M COMIN' TO GET YOU! 17 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,787 CAN I TAKE THE BLINDFOLD OFF YET? 18 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,288 NO! GET OUT OF THE CAR! 19 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,123 OKAY, WALK. 20 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,658 THERE'S A CURB THERE. STEP BACK. ALL RIGHT. OH. ALL RIGHT. 21 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,595 AND...AND... 22 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,430 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 23 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,598 YEAH. 24 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,066 WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE BEST DAY! 25 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,468 COME ON! 26 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,071 LOOK AT THIS! ISN'T THIS THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH? 27 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,839 YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING. 28 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,808 COME ON! OH, TATTOOS! LET'S GET MATCHING TATTOOS. 29 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,444 OH, YES, THAT'S JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 30 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,445 REALLY? 31 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,247 NO! NOT REALLY. 32 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,117 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YEAH. 33 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,719 GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. 34 00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:19,958 LOOK HERE. 35 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,927 YOU'VE TAKEN ENOUGH PICTURES TO FILL A WEDDING ALBUM. 36 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,862 WILL YOU STOP? I HAVE NOT TAKEN NEARLY ENOUGH. 37 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:27,799 IT SMELLS LIKE A SKU-- IS THERE A SKUNK? 38 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,334 A WHAT? IT SMELLS LIKE A SKUNK. 39 00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:30,602 COME ON. YOU DON'T SMELL THAT? 40 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,870 IT'S JUST WEED. IT'S NOTHING -- 41 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,372 OH, GOD. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. 42 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,279 WHAT'S LEFT AFTER THIS? 43 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,048 PROM, THEN GRADUATION, AND THEN YOU'RE GONE! 44 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,516 YOU'RE GONE! 45 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,684 AND ALL I'M GONNA HAVE LEFT ARE THESE PHOTOS. 46 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,985 MOM -- 47 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,487 PHOTOS THAT I AM GONNA FLIP THROUGH 48 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,888 IN THAT DARK HOUSE ALONE. 49 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,623 IT'S JUST COLLEGE. I'M GOING TO COLLEGE. 50 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,392 IF I GET IN AND IF I GET A SCHOLARSHIP. 51 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,861 I'M NOT SIGNING UP FOR A TOUR OF DUTY IN THE MIDDLE EAST. 52 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,663 BUT THEN YOU'RE GONNA MEET A NICE GIRL. 53 00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,964 DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? 54 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,699 YOU'RE GONNA GO GET MARRIED IN MINNESOTA. 55 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,501 MOM, I THINK YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE BIT AHEAD OF YOURSELF. 56 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,403 THEN KIDS! AH, THEN KIDS. 57 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,505 AND THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE TIME FOR YOUR MOM. 58 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,640 WELL, IF YOU'RE LUCKY, I'LL TURN OUT TO BE GAY. 59 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,815 WE'RE GONNA TAKE SOME OF THESE. 60 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,816 WHAT ARE WE DOING? 61 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,850 OH, THESE ARE GREAT. 62 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,019 RIGHT? I CAN'T EVEN... 63 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,087 OH, YEAH. 64 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,822 OH, WHAT THE -- PUT THIS ON. 65 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,190 THIS IS NOT -- THIS IS CLEARLY NOT A MAN'S HAT. 66 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,425 THIS IS VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD. 67 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,859 I THINK I LOOK LIKE LADY GAGA RIGHT NOW. 68 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,394 THIS IS ME. THIS IS SO ME. LOOK! 69 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,762 THIS IS -- WHAT'S THIS CALLED, A "SELFIE"? 70 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,030 YEAH. 71 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,665 AND NOW... NOW WHAT? 72 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,600 ...IT'S TIME TO COME OUT. COME OUT OF -- WHAT? 73 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,003 OOH! OKAY, ALL RIGHT, SORRY. 74 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,237 WHAT ARE YOU, TOO BUSY PLAYING DRESS-UP 75 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,772 TO WATCH WHERE YOU'RE WALKING... 76 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,040 SHEILA? I'M SORRY. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 77 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,375 LISTEN, WE WERE JUST KIDDING AROUND. 78 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,343 WE'RE JUST HANGING OUT. IT'S ALL RIGHT. 79 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:45,644 JUST AN ACCIDENT. SORRY. 80 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,013 AW, DOES YOUR MOMMY FIGHT ALL YOUR BATTLES FOR YA? 81 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,916 OKAY. 82 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,517 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE MY SON ALONE, YOU BIG LOSER? 83 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,252 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, MOM. LET'S GO. LET'S JUST -- 84 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,854 MOM, LET'S -- LET'S GO. HEY, LADY... 85 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,023 GET YOUR FAGGOT SON AND GET OUTTA HERE 86 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,391 BEFORE WE MAKE YOU GET OUTTA HERE. 87 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:00,792 LET'S -- LET'S DO THAT. LET'S GO. 88 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,728 YOU'RE RIGHT. WE SHOULD JUST GO. 89 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:03,762 MOM! 90 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,767 YEAH. HIT A WOMAN. 91 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,502 THAT ALWAYS TURNS OUT WELL. 92 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,875 UH... 93 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:19,811 EXCUSE ME! 94 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,546 GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! OH, MY GOD! 95 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,148 SO, YOU HAD TO SLAP HIM. OH, MY GOD. RUN! RUN! RUN! 96 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,816 I'M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN, MOM! 97 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,218 GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GOTTA GO. GO! GO! GO! 98 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,622 THAT WAY! THAT WAY! THAT WAY! THAT WAY! 99 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,562 UH...HONEY, GO! GO! COME HERE. COME HERE. THIS WAY. 100 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,232 THIS WAY. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. OKAY, OKAY. 101 00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,434 YOU ALL RIGHT? 102 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,969 YEAH, FINE. 103 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,071 I'M FI-- MOM? MOM? 104 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,272 I'M FI-- I'M FINE. I'M FINE. 105 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,611 HERE WE GO. 106 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,279 YOU'RE GONNA SCARE -- 107 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:55,814 OH, COME ON, MOM. LOOK AWAY. 108 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,149 THERE'S NOWHERE FOR ME TO LOOK 109 00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:58,683 THAT I'M REMOTELY COMFORTABLE WITH. 110 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:01,019 ALL RIGHT, MISS COOPER. THESE ARE PAINKILLERS. 111 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,423 ONLY TAKE TWO A DAY. OH, DRUGS? 112 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,758 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT DRUGS. 113 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,361 YOU KNOW, I TRY TO KEEP MY BODY IN A HARMONIOUS, EARTHY BALANCE. 114 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,430 THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR, MISS COOPER. 115 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,665 EVERY DAY I MAKE MYSELF A GREEN SMOOTHIE. 116 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:18,503 JUST ALL THE GREEN STUFF FROM MY...ORGANIC GARDEN. 117 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,105 I JUST TAKE THAT STUFF AND I JUST THROW IT IN THERE 118 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:23,442 LIKE PEA PODS AND BROCCOLI AND KALE 119 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,543 AND QUENOAH. 120 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,178 I THINK THAT'S QUINOA. MMM. 121 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,546 QUINOA, TOO. 122 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,981 EATING HEALTHY IS IMPORTANT. MM-HMM. 123 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,650 YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE BALANCING IT WITH EXERCISE. 124 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,051 ARE YOU EXERCISING? OH, YEAH. 125 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,153 I GO TO THE GYM SO MUCH THAT THEY'RE LIKE, 126 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,521 "MAGGIE COOPER, GET OUT!" 127 00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:40,058 I DO YOGA AND PILATES AND YOGALATES. 128 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,461 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I DO? POLE DANCING. 129 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,297 I LOVE TO POLE DANCE. 130 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:48,467 I GO UP AND DOWN THAT POLE. I JUST LOVE IT. 131 00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,068 MISS COOPER, YOU NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, OKAY? 132 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,169 OH, YEAH. YES. 133 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,537 MM-HMM. 134 00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,072 MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR, OKAY? 135 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,874 AH. FROM A STROKE. 136 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,509 SHE HAD JUST A FEW ANXIETY ATTACKS BEFORE 137 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,044 FOR WARNING SIGNS, OKAY? 138 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,679 SO WE NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. 139 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:01,913 OKAY. OKAY. 140 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:02,981 YEAH, ALL GOOD. 141 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,653 HIS MOTHER? I, MM, TOLD YOU NOT TO. 142 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,388 HIS DAMN MOTHER? I WARNED YOU. 143 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,724 OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS AWFUL. GET THE CAR. 144 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,025 WHAT? 145 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,560 GET THE CAR! LET'S GO! ALL RIGHT. 146 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,395 WE'RE OUT OF HERE. GIVE ME THESE. 147 00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:21,166 YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU WERE WINNING HIM OVER THERE AT THE END. 148 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,240 MA'AM? 149 00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:29,508 DON'T CALL ME "MA'AM"! 150 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,176 EXCUSE ME! 151 00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:35,013 ALWAYS PREPARED. 152 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,615 WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU? 153 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,216 I DON'T KNOW. 154 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,719 AWW, YOU KNOW WHAT? THESE PILLS DON'T WORK, THOUGH. 155 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,388 THEY JUST ARE... 156 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,591 OKAY. HERE WE GO. 157 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,226 YOU KNOW YOU'RE WEARING A HOSPITAL GOWN, RIGHT? 158 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,614 EXCUSE ME. 159 00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,949 WHAT UP, BOY? HEY! 160 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,951 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE! 161 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,419 YOU KNOW, I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU 162 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,620 WITHOUT THE DICK IN YOUR FACE. 163 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,088 WHAT UP, DUDE? 164 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,490 LATER, DOUCHE! 165 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,927 THAT IS GREAT. 166 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,995 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 167 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,664 OH, THANKS, FITCH. THANKS A LOT, MAN. 168 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,232 YEAH, PROMISE I WON'T HUG YOU. 169 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,967 SHE TREATS ME LIKE I'M 10 YEARS OLD. 170 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,802 YEAH, DUDE, THIS IS A BAD ONE. I KNOW. 171 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,170 BUT AT LEAST SHE CARES. 172 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,572 YEAH, SHE CARES A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH. 173 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:37,242 THERE'S ANOTHER DICK IN MY FACE. I GIVE UP. 174 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,778 I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. 175 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,247 HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU FIND THE TIME 176 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,483 TO PLASTER THOSE AWFUL PICTURES OF ME ALL OVER SCHOOL? 177 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,352 WHAT PICTURES? 178 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,753 THE ONE -- COME ON. 179 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,655 WHO ELSE WAS WITH ME AT THE DENTIST? 180 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,923 NOBODY. IT WAS JUST YOU. 181 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,425 WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DENTIST? 182 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,293 THEY'RE THE PICTURES OF ME WHEN I HAVE THE -- 183 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,962 THE, LIKE, GAUZE STUFFED IN MY MOUTH? 184 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,330 AREN'T THEY GREAT?! 185 00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:00,031 YEAH, NO. THEY'RE AWFUL. COME ON! 186 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,633 THEY'RE EMBARRASSING. THAT -- DID EVERYBODY LAUGH? 187 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,268 AT ME. THEY WERE LAUGHING AT ME. 188 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,203 WELL, IT'S KIND OF FUN. THAT'S LIKE A LOVE THING. 189 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,538 NO, IT WAS ROUGH. 190 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,340 OH, I'M SO SORRY. IT WAS A LOT OF THAT. 191 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,841 ON YOUR 17th BIRTHDAY. I KNOW. 192 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,109 THIS SHOULD BE A GREAT DAY. 193 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,377 IT SHOULD BE, BUT IT WASN'T. I'M SO -- 194 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,778 IT WAS -- IT WAS HARD. 195 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,348 LET'S PAUSE FOR A MOMENT AND REMEMBER THE DAY, 196 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,950 FOR ME, THE MOMENT YOU POPPED OUT OF MY COOCH. 197 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,218 OH, GOD! 198 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,486 WISH TIME. 199 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:22,787 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 200 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,888 ALL RIGHT. 201 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,492 OKAY. OKAY. 202 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,526 ONE WISH. MM-HMM. 203 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,828 AND I HAVE TO BE IN IT. 204 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,563 YOU ARE. OKAY. 205 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,033 YAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 206 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,901 OH, I DIDN'T GET IT. I DIDN'T GET IT! 207 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,871 CAN WE BE DONE, PLEASE? DONE? 208 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,906 IT'S JUST -- IT'S TOO MUCH, MOM. 209 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,375 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. OKAY, READY? 210 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,143 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. OKAY. OKAY. 211 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,879 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. OKAY, YOU READY? YEAH. YEAH. MM-HMM. 212 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,581 THREE, TWO, ONE. TWO, ONE. OKAY. 213 00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:50,882 OKAY. 214 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:54,052 WE'RE STILL DOING THAT, BUT -- OKAY. 215 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:02,027 UH, I THINK YOU NEED TO CHECK THE PRINTER. 216 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,228 THIS -- THIS PRINTED VERY LIGHT. 217 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,729 WILL YOU CHECK ON THAT? 218 00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,197 YEAH, SURE. THANKS. 219 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,266 UH, SATISFACTORY, FITCH. 220 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,368 STORY OF MY LIFE. 221 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,003 AND THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL, LLOYD. 222 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,405 THANK YOU. 223 00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:15,707 DO YOU WRITE A LOT OF POETRY? NO. 224 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,776 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD DO IT MORE OFTEN. 225 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,210 POETRY? 226 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,446 FAGGOT! 227 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,516 AT LEAST HE CAN READ 228 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,217 AND WRITE, BRAD. 229 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,353 CARRIE, WHAT DO I NEED TO WRITE FOR, OKAY? 230 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,688 LOOK AT ME. 231 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:31,790 I GOT A BODY BUILT FOR SUCCESS. 232 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,959 AND AN I.Q. LOWER THAN ROOM TEMPERATURE. 233 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,062 YEAH? WELL, THAT DIDN'T STOP RYAN LOCHTE. 234 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:41,466 EW. REALLY? GROSS, BRAD. 235 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,702 LLOYD, DID YOU SUBMIT ANYTHING TO THE FINE ARTS ASSEMBLY? 236 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,869 NO. 237 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,071 WELL, NOW YOU HAVE. 238 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,605 YOU'RE GOING TO READ THIS. 239 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:51,042 YOU'VE GOTTA SHARE THIS WITH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. 240 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,711 THE THING IS, UH, IS -- IS -- IS LLOYD CAN'T DO CROWDS. 241 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,145 NO. REALLY, THOUGH. 242 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,414 JUST THINK ABOUT IT. 243 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,816 OKAY, GUYS, SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME. 244 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,258 SO, UM, YOU THINK I COULD MAYBE 245 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,927 READ SOME OF YOUR STUFF SOMETIME? 246 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,328 I REALLY LIKE POETRY. 247 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:14,299 UH, NO, NO. NO, I-IT -- IT'S NOT GOOD. 248 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:18,470 I DON'T -- I DON'T LIKE, UM, LIKE SHOWING IT TO ANYBODY. 249 00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:19,571 MUCH LESS READING IT OUT LOUD. 250 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,941 I CA-- I CAN'T. WELL, UM... 251 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:26,811 IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, LET ME KNOW. 252 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,331 THANKS, LLOYD. 253 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,000 YEAH, SURE, DREW. 254 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,048 OH. HEY. 255 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,116 THANK YOU. 256 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,618 ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? 257 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,519 NO. 258 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:08,720 WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST KISS? 259 00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,955 WHAT -- WHAT IS THIS? 260 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,056 DO YOU WANNA BE KISSED? 261 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,291 NO. OKAY. 262 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,025 OKAY. 263 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,527 OKAY. 264 00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:18,797 OH, YEAH. I GET IT. OKAY. 265 00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,737 I AM NOT HERE. JUST CLEANING. 266 00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:28,540 JUST GOT STUFF TO DO. 267 00:13:30,744 --> 00:13:33,645 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU... 268 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,482 OKAY, THAT'S GROSS. 269 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,750 THAT IS NOT OKAY TO TALK ABOUT. 270 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:40,051 WE CANNOT TALK ABOUT THAT, OKAY? 271 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,719 GOT IT, OKAY. OKAY. 272 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,188 WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. NO, WE DON'T. 273 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:46,558 I'M JUST GONNA ASK YOU, THOUGH. DO YOU...DUST? 274 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,527 I'M NOT GONNA -- I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT... 275 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,095 MASTURBATE-- WITH YOU. 276 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,263 OKAY. GOT IT. I'M NOT EVEN GONNA... 277 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,698 THAT IS COOL. I AM TOTALLY OUT. 278 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,699 ...DIGNIFY THAT QUESTION WITH A RESPONSE. 279 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,234 OKAY. 280 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,005 TOO LOUD. 281 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,942 I'M SO SORRY. I'M -- I'M SO SORRY. IT'S... 282 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,911 IF YOU LIKE BOYS, I'M TOTALLY INTO THAT. 283 00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,947 IF I WHAT? I WOULD SUPPORT THAT 100%. 284 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,415 OKAY. 285 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,951 IN MY SOPHOMORE YEAR, I HAD A THING WITH A GIRL. 286 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,285 I KNOW. MINDY. MINDY! 287 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,854 I KNOW. YOU LISTENED! GOD. 288 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,288 I'VE HEARD THE STORY SO MANY TIMES. 289 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,424 THE BEAUTIFUL THING ABOUT GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION, 290 00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,860 AND BOY-ON-BOY -- THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. OKAY, OKAY. NO. 291 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,561 THERE WOULDN'T BE, LIKE, A MINUTE OF, LIKE, 292 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,797 "HEY, DON'T TOUCH THAT. THAT'S NOT A BUTTON." 293 00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:26,998 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. MOM? MOM? MOM? 294 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,433 CAN I JUST DO MY HOMEWORK, PLEASE? 295 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:31,703 WITH BEING A LITTLE WILD AND FREE IN YOUR YOUTH. 296 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,204 I JUST WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU A LITTLE BIT BETTER. 297 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,740 OKAY, THEN JOIN THE PTA LIKE ALL THE OTHER MOMS. 298 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,209 OKAY! I CAN DO THAT! 299 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,811 NOT REALLY. 300 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:41,112 GOD, I LOVE YOU! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 301 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,881 NO! MOM, NO! 302 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:04,802 MAKE SURE THAT EVERYBODY IS CHECKING -- 303 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:09,374 HEY, LADIES! MAGGIE COOPER. SORRY I'M LATE. 304 00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,411 AS I WAS SAYING, 305 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,513 PROM WILL BE HERE SOONER THAN YOU CAN BELIEVE! 306 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,115 CLAP, CLAP, CLAP! 307 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,951 AND, OF COURSE, I AM KEEPING TRACK 308 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,787 OF YOUR MANDATORY VOLUNTEER HOURS. 309 00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,790 I'M LOOKING AT YOU, NORMA. YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE HOURS UP. 310 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,326 I'VE NOTICED THAT YOUR CHECKLIST HAS BEEN DOWN. 311 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,797 OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE, 312 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,133 IS THAT A DIAPHRAGM ON OUR BEAUTIFUL TABLE? 313 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,602 IT'S ALL GOOD. JUST GONNA TAKE NOTES. 314 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,373 I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO EVERYBODY'S DECORATION IDEAS. 315 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,642 I KNOW LAST YEAR A LOT OF US WERE IN A SLUMP, 316 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,878 SO I KNOW THIS YEAR YOU ARE GOING TO WOW ME, 317 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,546 AND I'M VERY EXCITED. 318 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,615 NOW, DON'T FORGET TO PLEASE MAKE SURE 319 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,550 YOU ARE ON THE CORRECT E-MAIL LISTS 320 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,185 FOR YOUR RESPECTIVE COMMITTEES. 321 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,321 AND IF ALL OF YOU HAVEN'T SIGNED UP 322 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,889 AS CHAIR OF COMMITTEES 323 00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:01,159 AND ROPED IN EVERY SINGLE PARENT FROM EVERY SINGLE CLASS, 324 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:04,662 IT WILL BE NOTED BY BARBARA WOLFE. 325 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:08,433 EXCUSE ME. WHO'S BARBARA WOLFE? 326 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:12,904 I AM BARBARA WOLFE! 327 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:16,507 DR. BARBARA SLOAN HUNTINGTON WOLFE 328 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:19,243 OF THE PASADENA SLOAN HUNTINGTONS! 329 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,245 ALL GOOD. 330 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,583 NAMASTE. 331 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,553 THIS MEETING IS ADJOURNED. 332 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:31,556 HAS ROBERT COMPLETED HIS ZIMMERMAN APPLICATIONS? 333 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,192 I HEAR IT IS DUE AT THE END OF THE MONTH. 334 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,995 YES, AND THE, UH, PETERSON AND THE O'REILLY. 335 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,730 OH! GOOD FOR ROBERT. 336 00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,365 OH, DID YOU FILL OUT THE F.F.E.L.? 337 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,033 YES, AND THE L.E.A.P. AND THE S.S.I.G. 338 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,701 OH, MY CARRIE'S IN THE SAME BOAT. 339 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,570 GOD HELP ME, IT IS LIKE PULLING TEETH 340 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,271 TO GET HER TO FINISH THESE THINGS. 341 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,240 WELL, HASN'T SHE TAKEN THE SATs? 342 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,575 NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLAR. 343 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:51,943 BARBARA! THAT'S WONDERFUL. 344 00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:54,545 OH! I BET YOU GUYS DIDN'T KNOW 345 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,248 THAT HER LITTLE MELANIE HAD TO FILE FOR FAFSA. 346 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,416 NO. 347 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,385 YES. 348 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,020 THEY AREN'T DOING WELL? 349 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,622 THERE'S NO SHAME IN FILING FOR FINANCIAL AID, IS THERE? 350 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,857 NO. 351 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:06,858 NO, OF COURSE NOT, SWEETHEART. 352 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:07,859 WELL, DAMN. 353 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,127 EXCUSE ME? 354 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,963 SORRY. I FORGET WHERE I AM SOMETIMES. 355 00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:14,065 SORRY ABOUT THAT. MAGGIE COOPER. 356 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,566 HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'? 357 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,302 UM, I'M LLOYD'S MOM. 358 00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,405 OUR KIDS ARE FRIE-- MAYBE YOU -- 359 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,373 YOUR KIDS ARE FRIENDS WITH MY SON, LLOYD? 360 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,243 WHAT ACTIVITIES DOES HE DO? 361 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,744 WHAT ACTIVITIES ARE THERE? 362 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:31,049 UM, CLUBS, ATHLETICS, EXTRACURRICULARS -- 363 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,817 STUDENT GOVERNMENT, DEBATE, MATHLETES. 364 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,552 HE READS A LOT. 365 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,888 WELL, THEN HE'S PROBABLY NOT FRIENDS WITH OUR CHILDREN. 366 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,657 WELL, I'M HERE TO CHANGE THAT! THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING! 367 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,559 I AM HERE TO VOLUNTEER FOR STUFF. 368 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,894 I CAN BE ON PROM COMMITTEE. 369 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,429 I JUST WANNA BE MORE INVOLVED IN HIS SCHOOL 370 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,330 BEFORE HE LEAVES FOR COLLEGE, YOU KNOW? 371 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,099 SO, UH, SIGN ME UP. WHATCHA GOT? 372 00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,967 IF WE NEED SOMETHING, I'LL LET YOU KNOW. 373 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,402 SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANNA DO NOW? 374 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,904 WANNA GO GET A DRINK? 375 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,141 OKAY, WH-WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS SHOW UP NEXT WEEK, 376 00:17:57,143 --> 00:18:00,344 ON TIME, SIT DOWN QUIETLY, PREFERABLY BY THE DOOR, 377 00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:03,414 SO I CAN ASK YOU TO LEAVE IF YOU CAUSE ANOTHER DISTURBANCE. 378 00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:07,251 - THOSE BITCHES. - THE NERVE. 379 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,953 JUST BECAUSE LLOYD'S A LITTLE BOOKISH 380 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,255 DOESN'T MEAN THEIR KIDS ARE ANY BETTER. EXACTLY. 381 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,790 BUT IT DID GET ME THINKING, THOUGH, 382 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,592 WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT LLOYD'S FINANCIAL AID? 383 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,927 DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COLLEGE IS? 384 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:16,961 A HUNDRED GRAND. 385 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,632 I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE 30. 386 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,769 WHAT AM I GONNA DO IF HE GETS INTO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL? 387 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,171 YOU REALLY WANT HIM GOING SOME FAR AWAY FROM HOME? 388 00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,439 NO, I DO NOT. 389 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,108 I GOTTA GET CREATIVE. 390 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,609 I GOTTA THINK. 391 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,544 THERE ARE SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE, 392 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,446 BUT THE COMPETITION IS FIERCE. 393 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,381 IT'S A SHAME HE'S NOT A MINORITY. 394 00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:41,152 THEY HAVE TONS OF SCHOLARSHIPS FOR MINORITIES. 395 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:44,655 LATINO, AFRICAN AMERICAN, WOMEN, AMPUTEES, 396 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,792 ALBINOS, PACIFIC ISLANDERS. 397 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,728 AH, I SHOULD'VE MARRIED RAY! UGH! 398 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,897 RAY? WHO'S RAY? 399 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:56,834 HE IS A SAMOAN GUY THAT I DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL. 400 00:18:56,836 --> 00:19:00,004 THAT DUDE COULD BEND MY LEGS OVER MY HEAD. 401 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,072 YOU ARE MY HERO. 402 00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:03,174 LLOYD WOULD BE HALF PACIFIC ISLANDER. 403 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,709 SHOULD'VE MARRIED RAY, NOT MAX. 404 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:07,512 THEY EVEN HAVE SCHOLARSHIPS FOR GAYS. 405 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:10,014 REALLY? 406 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,416 YOU KNOW, I CAN'T FIGURE OUT IF LLOYD IS GAY OR STRAIGHT. 407 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,819 AND CAN YOU BELIEVE HE WON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT? 408 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,021 WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IF HE WAS? 409 00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:19,157 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'D BE THRILLED. 410 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:19,824 WHY? 411 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,058 WHY? 412 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,393 BECAUSE HE'D BE THE ONLY MAN 413 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,661 WHO NEVER LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER WOMAN. 414 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,429 YOU KNOW HOW GREAT THAT WOULD BE? 415 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,265 HE'D BE JUST WITH ME ALL THE TIME. 416 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,902 OH, MY GOD. MY GAY SON AND ME GOING PURSE SHOPPING. 417 00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:32,670 HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE? 418 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,105 I COULD BE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, 419 00:19:34,107 --> 00:19:35,940 GOING TO THE THEATER WITH MY GAY SON, 420 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,009 LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "OH, JUST GOING TO THE THEATER! 421 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,911 "THIS IS MY GAY SON. HE'S TAKING ME TO THE THEATER! 422 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,046 HE'S TAKING ME TO THE OPERA! I'M GOING TO THE OPERA WITH MY GAY SON!" 423 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,215 JUST WALKIN'-- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIKED THE OPERA. 424 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,584 I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE OPERA, AND I WOULD HATE IT, 425 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,252 BUT I WOULD BE THERE WITH MY GAY SON. 426 00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,687 AND THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT. 427 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,390 MY SON'S NOT GAY. HE DOESN'T LIKE PESTO. 428 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,959 YEAH, HE'S SO NOT GAY. 429 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:05,663 RELAX, MAN, YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS. 430 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,265 SHE'S NOWHERE IN SIGHT. YEAH, NOT YET. 431 00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,773 LLOYD, ARE YOU READY? 432 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,541 UM, I'M REALLY NERVOUS. 433 00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,477 WELL, I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR DOING THIS. 434 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,286 LET'S GIVE THEM ANOTHER ROUND OF APPLAUSE. 435 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,820 WASN'T THAT AMAZING? 436 00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:32,556 WHO KNEW WE HAD SO MUCH TALENT AT THIS SCHOOL? 437 00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:34,659 NEXT UP, YOU KNOW THEM WELL -- 438 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,494 IT'S THE GIRLS' DANCE SQUAD. 439 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:48,873 JUST TAKE A BREATH, YOU'LL BE FINE. 440 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,241 YOUR POEM IS BEAUTIFUL. 441 00:21:50,243 --> 00:21:52,209 YOU GOT THIS. 442 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,545 OH, OKAY. DEEP BREATHS. 443 00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,733 OKAY, UM, NEXT UP WE'VE GOT A POEM 444 00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:18,602 FROM MRS. MOORE'S ENGLISH CLASS. 445 00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:22,940 YOU'LL BE FINE. I CAN'T. 446 00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:24,742 COME ON! 447 00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,613 COME OUT HERE. 448 00:22:29,615 --> 00:22:30,915 - DOUCHE BAG, COME OUT! - HE'LL BE FINE. 449 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,551 HEY, KID, COME ON. 450 00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,252 HE'S COMING. SOMETIME TODAY. 451 00:22:37,889 --> 00:22:40,024 SERIOUSLY. OH! 452 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,526 Sorry! Love you! 453 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,095 JUST GO UP TO THE MIC RIGHT THERE. 454 00:22:44,097 --> 00:22:46,597 HEY, PRETTY BOY! 455 00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:49,700 OKAY, OKAY. 456 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,206 HEY, JUNIOR. 457 00:23:00,213 --> 00:23:02,079 - WHAT IS HE DOING? - COME ON, LLOYD. 458 00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:04,648 SPIT IT OUT! COME ON, SHAKESPEARE. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT! 459 00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:11,756 GET OFF THE STAGE, QUEER! 460 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:17,294 MOM? 461 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:22,433 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 462 00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:23,934 NOW IT'S A TALENT SHOW. 463 00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:26,437 GO AHEAD. JUST TAKE A BREATH. TAKE A BREATH. 464 00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,471 JUST HOLD UP. JUST DON'T GO ANYWHERE. OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT HER GOLD SHOES! 465 00:23:27,473 --> 00:23:30,574 EVERYONE, SHUT UP. 466 00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:33,611 MY SON IS GOING TO READ A POEM. GO AHEAD, LLOYD. 467 00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:34,745 DID YOUR MOM BRING YOUR BOTTLE?! 468 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,013 WHO IS THAT? 469 00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:38,582 WHO'S THAT? HMM? 470 00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,651 OH. OH, YEAH, IT'S YOU. 471 00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:43,287 YEAH, WELL, YOU ARE RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE, OKAY? 472 00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:45,089 STAND UP, SHOW YOURSELF. LET'S SEE YOU. 473 00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,158 YEAH, YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO CALL PEOPLE NAMES, 474 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,426 YOU LITTLE TURD? 475 00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:52,797 YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO CALL PEOPLE... 476 00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:54,832 GAY? 477 00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:56,801 HIS POETRY IS BEAUTIFUL. 478 00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:58,936 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU PEOPLE ARE WRITING -- 479 00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,471 UNICORNS AND BONERS. 480 00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:04,141 GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. 481 00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:07,344 THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE? YOU DON'T EVEN WORK HERE. 482 00:24:07,346 --> 00:24:09,146 I CAN HANDLE THIS, MRS. COOPER! 483 00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:11,348 SO IT'S ONLY THE TEACHERS WHO CAN GIVE ORDERS AROUND HERE? 484 00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:12,450 ACTUALLY, YES. THAT'S TRUE. 485 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,951 OH, UH, OKAY, OH, PLEASE. 486 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,553 AS IF YOU'D TREAT BARBARA WOLF LIKE THIS. 487 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:17,354 BARBARA WOLF WOULD BE LIKE, "OH, I'M GONNA TALK." 488 00:24:17,356 --> 00:24:19,290 BARBARA WOLF WOULD NOT BE ON STAGE RIGHT NOW. 489 00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:20,991 SECURITY! WE DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE. 490 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:24,028 I WANNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT POETRY. HEY! 491 00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:25,396 EXCUSE ME? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 492 00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:29,366 BRAVO! 493 00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:36,173 UM... 494 00:24:39,512 --> 00:24:42,346 NOW, BAILING YOUR MOTHER OUT OF JAIL, THAT'S A FIRST. 495 00:24:42,348 --> 00:24:44,515 USED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND. 496 00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:45,516 YEAH, 17 TIMES. 497 00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,251 17 TIMES, WHAT? 498 00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:50,187 UH, THE NUMBER OF TIMES MOM HAS BAILED YOU OUT OF JAIL. 499 00:24:50,189 --> 00:24:50,988 THAT MANY TIMES? 500 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:53,357 YEAH. THAT I KNOW OF. 501 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,694 I WAS CONVICTED ONCE. PUBLIC NUISANCE. 502 00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,596 I MEAN, REALLY. I'M A ROCK STAR. 503 00:24:58,598 --> 00:25:02,533 THAT WAS A LONG, LONG, LONG TIME AGO, MAX. 504 00:25:02,535 --> 00:25:05,269 I STILL TOUR. 505 00:25:05,271 --> 00:25:07,538 INDIAN CASINOS. 506 00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:10,441 THINGS CHANGE. 507 00:25:10,443 --> 00:25:12,943 OH, I KNOW. I WENT TO MY FIRST PTA MEETING LAST WEEK. 508 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,045 ALL RIGHT. 509 00:25:15,047 --> 00:25:16,680 THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. 510 00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:20,384 AM I, UH... 511 00:25:20,386 --> 00:25:22,453 COMIN' IN? 512 00:25:22,455 --> 00:25:23,954 NO JAIL JOKES. 513 00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:25,789 I WAS JUST ABOUT -- 514 00:25:25,791 --> 00:25:28,459 OH, YEAH, I SAW YOU FORMING IT! DON'T EVEN! 515 00:25:28,461 --> 00:25:30,895 SO I WAS THINKING, LIKE, BLOND STREAK, BLACK STREAK, 516 00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:32,129 BLOND STREAK, BLACK STREAK. 517 00:25:32,131 --> 00:25:33,397 1987. 518 00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:35,566 WHAT? YOU LOVED IT. 519 00:25:35,568 --> 00:25:37,568 MM. IT WAS HOT. 520 00:25:37,570 --> 00:25:39,270 1987. 521 00:25:39,272 --> 00:25:40,804 DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S MY LOOK. I'M GONNA ROCK IT HARD. 522 00:25:40,806 --> 00:25:42,273 I MIGHT EVEN DO IT TONIGHT. 523 00:25:42,275 --> 00:25:44,475 I'M GONNA DO IT WITH MY MUSTACHE BLEACH. 524 00:25:44,477 --> 00:25:46,710 OKAY. MM. ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA GO TO BED. 525 00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:49,446 YOU GUYS TRY NOT TO GET ARRESTED WHILE I'M GONE, OKAY? 526 00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:50,981 YES, DAD. 527 00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:52,049 HA HA. 528 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,517 I was just gonna say... 529 00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:12,169 WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT LLOYD. 530 00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:13,304 WHY? HE'S A GREAT KID. 531 00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:14,572 HE IS A GREAT KID. 532 00:26:14,574 --> 00:26:16,607 I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT... 533 00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:19,343 AND... 534 00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:22,079 OUR SON'S GAY. 535 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:24,982 MY SON...GAY? 536 00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:26,283 OUR SON. 537 00:26:26,285 --> 00:26:27,952 YEAH, OKAY. OUR SON, GAY? 538 00:26:27,954 --> 00:26:30,287 I DON'T GET THE GAY VIBE AT ALL FROM HIM. 539 00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:32,957 WELL, SEE, I THINK THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. 540 00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:34,959 I THINK THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO COME OUT 541 00:26:34,961 --> 00:26:37,595 TO HIS SUPER-HETERO DAD 'CAUSE HE'LL DISAPPOINT YOU. 542 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:41,865 I WOULDN'T -- I WOULDN'T BE DISAPPOINTED. 543 00:26:41,867 --> 00:26:43,200 ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 544 00:26:43,202 --> 00:26:45,269 YEAH, NO, I JUST DON'T THINK HE IS. 545 00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:47,538 YOU GOTTA TRUST A MOM ON THIS ONE, OKAY? 546 00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:49,139 WHATEVER YOU SAY. 547 00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:52,876 OKAY. TALK TO HIM. TELL HIM YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT. 548 00:26:52,878 --> 00:26:54,678 FOR 10 YEARS YOU'VE BEEN SAYING, 549 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,513 "I DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK TO HIM. 550 00:26:56,515 --> 00:26:57,781 YOU'RE A BAD INFLUENCE." 551 00:26:57,783 --> 00:26:59,516 10 YEARS, AT LEAST! 552 00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:02,319 NOW YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM? 553 00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:08,292 THINGS CHANGE, OKAY? 554 00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:13,864 OKAY. OKAY. 555 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:18,002 NOW SHOO. GO, GO, PLEASE. 556 00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,169 FASTER. 557 00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:21,071 MAGGIE? 558 00:27:21,073 --> 00:27:22,172 COME HERE, PLEASE. 559 00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:24,575 RIGHT THERE? YES. 560 00:27:24,577 --> 00:27:26,477 PLEASE. 561 00:27:26,479 --> 00:27:29,380 YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY THAT I MISSED YOUR SCENE 562 00:27:29,382 --> 00:27:31,815 AT THE ARTS FESTIVAL THE OTHER DAY. 563 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,350 OH, YOU HEARD ABOUT ME. 564 00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:34,652 STOP RIGHT THERE. THAT'S FINE. 565 00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:36,053 UNFORTUNATELY, I DID. 566 00:27:36,055 --> 00:27:38,155 IT SEEMS THAT YOU MENTIONED ME TO MRS. MOORE? 567 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:41,392 I GET WORKED UP SOMETIMES. SORRY. 568 00:27:41,394 --> 00:27:44,328 THAT IS IN THE PAST, IT IS BEHIND ME, 569 00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,530 AND I'M JUST TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF, 570 00:27:46,532 --> 00:27:49,366 AND LET'S JUST MOVE ON AND DO THE PROM STUFF, OKAY? 571 00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:51,769 MRS. MOORE TOLD ME THAT YOUR SON SEEMS SENSITIVE. 572 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:55,205 YES, HE IS. SENSITIVE. 573 00:27:55,207 --> 00:27:57,174 MM, SENSITIVE-LOOKING. 574 00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,909 IS THAT CODE? 575 00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:01,412 IT SEEMS THAT THIS MIGHT BE A WONDERFUL TIME FOR YOUR SON, 576 00:28:01,414 --> 00:28:03,580 WHO'S VERY SENSITIVE, TO START MAYBE HIS OWN CLUB. 577 00:28:03,582 --> 00:28:05,349 MAYBE A SENSITIVE BOYS' CLUB. 578 00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:06,784 OR A GAY CLUB! 579 00:28:06,786 --> 00:28:08,118 A GAY CLUB. 580 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:09,253 WHAT WOULD THEY DO THERE? 581 00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:10,521 NEEDLEPOINT. 582 00:28:10,523 --> 00:28:12,189 CHOREOGRAPHY. 583 00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,624 POETRY? 584 00:28:13,626 --> 00:28:15,559 ANYTHING THAT A SEAMSTRESS WOULD DO. 585 00:28:15,561 --> 00:28:17,194 I MEAN, SURE. WHY NOT? 586 00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,696 'CAUSE ALL THE BEST FASHION DESIGNERS ARE GAY MEN, 587 00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:20,564 SO I WOULD LOVE THAT. 588 00:28:20,566 --> 00:28:22,299 HE COULD BE MARC JACOBS OR THE NEXT MICHAEL KORS. THAT'S TRUE. 589 00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:24,034 HE COULD BE ON "PROJECT RUNWAY" GOING, 590 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,936 "HI, GUYS." I WOULD LOVE IT. 591 00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,405 I GUESS BECAUSE I'M A SINGLE MOM, MY SON AND I, 592 00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:30,074 WE HANG OUT A LOT 593 00:28:30,076 --> 00:28:32,242 AND WE JUST HAVE A REALLY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS -- 594 00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:34,578 MAYBE IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS WITH GAY SONS, 595 00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:36,547 AND WE'RE PROBABLY JUST GONNA HAVE, LIKE, A -- 596 00:28:36,549 --> 00:28:38,549 JUST A GREAT LIFE, GO OFF ON CRUISES, 597 00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:39,983 AND I'M SURE HE'LL TAKE ME TO PARIS, 598 00:28:39,985 --> 00:28:41,285 AND I-I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, TOO -- 599 00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:42,886 I BET I'LL BE THE BEST DRESSED MOM 600 00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:44,722 IN THE ASSISTED-LIVING FACILITY IN SOUTH BEACH. 601 00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,757 HE'LL JUST PARK ME THERE. IT'LL BE GREAT. 602 00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:48,292 SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT THE PROM, MAYBE? 603 00:28:48,294 --> 00:28:49,727 YES. YEAH. 604 00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:51,128 BARBARA WOLF ALWAYS FEELS LIKE 605 00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:52,463 PEOPLE WHO ARE SENSITIVE 606 00:28:52,465 --> 00:28:54,465 MAYBE SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN SENSITIVE PROM. 607 00:28:54,467 --> 00:28:59,770 PERHAPS YOUR SON SHOULD HAVE HIS OWN GAY PROM. 608 00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:01,238 IT COULD BE RAINBOW THEMED! 609 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,740 OR SPARKLES. OH! I LOVE SPARKLES. 610 00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:03,841 THESE GIRLS HAVE GREAT IDEAS FOR GAYS. 611 00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:05,175 MY SON'S COMING TO THIS PROM. 612 00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:07,478 HE'S GONNA BE AT THIS PROM. 613 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:08,912 IF HE HAS A DATE. 614 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:11,348 HE'S COMING TO THIS PROM. IT'S ALL GOOD. 615 00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:13,650 WELL, MAGGIE, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR GAY SON 616 00:29:13,652 --> 00:29:15,786 WHO'S GOING TO TAKE YOU TO PARIS. 617 00:29:15,788 --> 00:29:17,187 IN THE MEANTIME, 618 00:29:17,189 --> 00:29:19,156 MAYBE HE SHOULD TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR HAIR. 619 00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:20,491 IT'S SO NICE. 620 00:29:20,493 --> 00:29:22,526 WELL, THANK YOU. 621 00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:23,861 I WASN'T COMPLIMENTING YOU. GIRLS? 622 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,299 OUCH! 623 00:29:29,301 --> 00:29:30,467 WOW! 624 00:29:30,469 --> 00:29:33,036 OKAY. 625 00:29:33,038 --> 00:29:35,606 WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? 626 00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:37,274 UNBELIEVABLE. 627 00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,143 THEY'RE OUT FOR ME, RIGHT? 628 00:29:39,145 --> 00:29:41,178 YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 629 00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:43,147 OH, BARBARA WOLF FINALLY GAVE ME A JOB. 630 00:29:43,149 --> 00:29:45,015 I GET TO CLEAN UP AFTER THE MEETING. 631 00:29:45,017 --> 00:29:46,483 HEY, I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT? 632 00:29:46,485 --> 00:29:49,186 YES, PLEASE. BRING BOOZE. 633 00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:52,956 AND A TRANQUILIZER DART. 634 00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:13,377 "MY NAME IS BARBARA WOLF. 635 00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:17,681 "PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD AND THE PTA. 636 00:30:17,683 --> 00:30:19,683 "MY NAME IS BARBARA WOLF. 637 00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:22,719 "I DO NOT HAVE ANY VEINS IN MY BODY. 638 00:30:22,721 --> 00:30:23,921 "MY COOCH IS AN ICICLE. 639 00:30:23,923 --> 00:30:25,722 "My name is Barbara Wolf. 640 00:30:25,724 --> 00:30:28,659 I AM BARBARA WOLF." AHH! 641 00:30:29,894 --> 00:30:32,162 BARBARA? 642 00:30:53,218 --> 00:30:55,519 CONGRATULATIONS. 643 00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:58,222 I MEAN, I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD'VE TOLD ME YOURSELF, 644 00:30:58,224 --> 00:30:59,523 SERIOUSLY, BUT CONGRATS. 645 00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,924 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 646 00:31:00,926 --> 00:31:02,226 YOUR SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION. 647 00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,861 THEY POSTED THE FINALISTS THIS MORNING. 648 00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:05,796 WHAT APPLICATION? "WHAT APPLICATION?" 649 00:31:05,798 --> 00:31:07,798 YEAH. COME ON, YOU BIG QUEEN! 650 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,199 YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE IN THE CLOSET ANYMORE. WHAT? 651 00:31:09,201 --> 00:31:10,767 THAT'S THE POINT, RIGHT? 652 00:31:10,769 --> 00:31:12,903 I'M PRETTY CONFUSED BY YOUR WHOLE -- YOUR WHOLE THING. 653 00:31:12,905 --> 00:31:14,304 I DON'T... 654 00:31:14,306 --> 00:31:16,039 Y-YOU CAN'T KEEP PLAYING IT COY, MAN. 655 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,307 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS -- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 656 00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:18,709 THEY POSTED IT. POSTED WHAT? 657 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:24,081 GOD, SHE'S TRYING TO GET ME KILLED. OH, MY GOD. 658 00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:25,549 WHAT? 659 00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:27,050 THERE HE IS! 660 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,919 LLOYD, COME ON UP HERE! WHAT? 661 00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:29,820 COME ON! 662 00:31:29,822 --> 00:31:30,954 I-I THINK THEY WANT YOU 663 00:31:30,956 --> 00:31:32,256 TO BE IN -- IN PROM COURT! 664 00:31:32,258 --> 00:31:33,757 LET'S LOOK AT YOU. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 665 00:31:33,759 --> 00:31:34,992 YOU LOOK GREAT. THIS IS GREAT. HELP! NO! 666 00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:37,761 IT'S 2014! BEING GAY IS COOL NOW! 667 00:31:37,763 --> 00:31:40,130 I AM SO PROUD TO WELCOME 668 00:31:40,132 --> 00:31:42,599 OUR VERY FIRST OPENLY GAY CANDIDATE, LLOYD -- 669 00:31:42,601 --> 00:31:43,834 WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME? 670 00:31:43,836 --> 00:31:45,135 UH, C-C-COOPER. 671 00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:46,403 LLOYD COOPER! 672 00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:09,693 HI. 673 00:32:09,695 --> 00:32:11,862 HEY. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 674 00:32:11,864 --> 00:32:13,263 SERIOUSLY, MOM? WHAT? 675 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:16,266 DON'T PLAY INNOCENT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 676 00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:18,635 PROM COURTS? 677 00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:20,637 MOM, MOST OF THE PEOPLE AT THIS SCHOOL, 678 00:32:20,639 --> 00:32:21,705 THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. 679 00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:23,707 THEY DO NOW. 680 00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:25,142 ALSO, THANKS FOR TELLING THE WHOLE SCHOOL I'M GAY. 681 00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:27,678 WELL, I JUST FIGURED. COME ON, YOU AND FITCH. 682 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,047 ME AND F-- WHAT?! FITCH?! 683 00:32:30,049 --> 00:32:31,315 HE'S YOUR ONLY FRIEND. 684 00:32:31,317 --> 00:32:33,116 SO WE'RE GAY? YEAH? 685 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,886 I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. 686 00:32:35,888 --> 00:32:38,221 ALL I HAVE IS THIS 687 00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:39,723 CRAZY MOM. 688 00:32:39,725 --> 00:32:41,992 THAT'S ALL I HAVE. 689 00:32:47,166 --> 00:32:48,398 ALL RIGHT, NEXT? 690 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,033 HEY. 691 00:32:50,035 --> 00:32:51,668 YES, YOU, LLOYD. 692 00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:53,337 OH, COME HERE. 693 00:32:53,339 --> 00:32:55,038 FIX THAT. 694 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,573 THERE YOU GO. 695 00:32:56,575 --> 00:32:57,841 THANKS. 696 00:32:57,843 --> 00:32:59,509 HAVING FUN? 697 00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:02,379 NO, NOT REALLY. THIS ISN'T REALLY MY THING. 698 00:33:02,381 --> 00:33:04,181 YEAH. IT'S A SHIT SHOW. 699 00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:05,549 EXCUSE ME? 700 00:33:05,551 --> 00:33:06,717 OH, I MEAN, COME ON. 701 00:33:06,719 --> 00:33:08,652 PROM COURT, WINTER FORMAL COURT, SADIE'S, MORP -- 702 00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:10,253 IT'S ALL THE SAME BORING PAGEANT. 703 00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:12,689 YOU'RE NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN. 704 00:33:12,691 --> 00:33:14,224 NO. 705 00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:16,093 I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS ONE TO BE DONE. 706 00:33:16,095 --> 00:33:18,161 THEN FINALLY MY CRAZY MOM MIGHT CALM DOWN. 707 00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,429 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN THERE. 708 00:33:19,431 --> 00:33:21,531 MY MOM HAD A FULL-ON ANXIETY ATTACK, 709 00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:22,599 WOULDN'T ADMIT IT. 710 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:24,401 MY MOM HATES YOUR MOM. 711 00:33:24,403 --> 00:33:26,036 I CAN'T SAY I BLAME HER FOR THAT. 712 00:33:26,038 --> 00:33:28,572 MY MOM HAS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A "POLARIZING" PERSONALITY, 713 00:33:28,574 --> 00:33:30,207 WHICH REALLY IS JUST A NICE WAY 714 00:33:30,209 --> 00:33:31,908 OF SAYING SHE'S PROBABLY BIPOLAR. 715 00:33:31,910 --> 00:33:33,710 OH. IT'S NOT FUNNY. 716 00:33:33,712 --> 00:33:35,045 NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT. 717 00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:37,381 BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER... 718 00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:40,617 ANYONE WHO MANAGES TO PISS OFF MY MOM IS GOOD IN MY BOOK. 719 00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:41,952 ALL RIGHT. 720 00:33:41,954 --> 00:33:43,387 ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 721 00:33:43,389 --> 00:33:44,721 SHOULD WE GET THIS OVER WITH? 722 00:33:44,723 --> 00:33:45,956 YES, PLEASE. 723 00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:48,025 TRY NOT TO TAKE THIS ALL SO SERIOUSLY. 724 00:33:48,027 --> 00:33:50,293 I'LL TRY. 725 00:33:50,295 --> 00:33:52,629 AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY HI TO ME ON CAMPUS. 726 00:33:52,631 --> 00:33:54,798 WE'RE FRIENDS NOW. COME ON. 727 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,533 GREAT. 728 00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:58,668 TRY TO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELVES. 729 00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:23,660 HEY. 730 00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:25,962 HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 731 00:34:25,964 --> 00:34:27,831 YOU ASKED ME TO TALK TO HIM. 732 00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,567 I LIKE THE RED! 733 00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:34,304 RIGHT? I LOOK GREAT, RIGHT? 734 00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:35,472 I LIKE IT. 735 00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:36,773 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET -- 736 00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,742 WOW! OKAY, ALL RI-- 737 00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:41,078 OKAY. OH, DON'T... 738 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:42,446 WHY NOT? 739 00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,181 OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. THAT IS SO GOOD. 740 00:34:44,183 --> 00:34:47,017 YEAH, IT IS SO -- SO SOFT. 741 00:34:47,019 --> 00:34:48,785 OH, MY GOD. 742 00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:50,687 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. COME HERE, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 743 00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:51,955 CUT IT OUT! 744 00:34:51,957 --> 00:34:53,657 READY? 745 00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,125 YEAH, I'M READY. 746 00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:56,359 THIS! 747 00:34:59,131 --> 00:35:01,198 IT'S A NICE PICTURE. YEAH. 748 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,799 NOW I NEED SOME HOBBIES SO... 749 00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:05,001 SO HE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE SUCH A NERD. 750 00:35:05,003 --> 00:35:07,137 LIKE READING AND TV, WHAT ELSE DOES HE -- 751 00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:08,772 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 752 00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:11,541 I'M CREATING A PROFILE SO HE DOESN'T GO TO PROM ALONE. 753 00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:13,710 YOU'RE CREATING A FAKE PROFILE 754 00:35:13,712 --> 00:35:15,378 TO PROCURE YOUNG MEN ONLINE FOR LLOYD? 755 00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:16,713 KINDA, YEAH. 756 00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:18,615 WHAT -- HAVE YOU SEEN "TO CATCH A PREDATOR"? 757 00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,984 IT'S NOT A FAKE PROFILE IF YOU KNOW THE PERSON. 758 00:35:20,986 --> 00:35:22,619 I'M JUST GONNA GO THROUGH THE BEST ONES 759 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:24,287 AND JUST PICK SOME GUYS THAT COULD GO -- 760 00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,791 OKAY, DON'T TELL HIM. 761 00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:30,026 IT JUST SEEMS WRONG. 762 00:35:30,028 --> 00:35:31,928 HEY, IT'S NOT THAT WRONG. 763 00:35:34,332 --> 00:35:36,399 I'M GONNA GO TALK TO HIM. 764 00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:39,736 - KNOCK KNOCK! - YEAH? 765 00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:41,138 HAD DINNER? 766 00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:42,873 YEAH. PERFECT. 767 00:35:42,875 --> 00:35:46,009 LET'S GO OUT FOR AFTER-DINNER DRINKS. 768 00:35:46,011 --> 00:35:47,878 YOU KNOW I'M 17, RIGHT? 769 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,847 IF MY SON'S NEARLY OLD ENOUGH TO BE SHIPPED OFF TO WAR, 770 00:35:50,849 --> 00:35:52,816 HE CAN HAVE A DRINK WITH HIS DAD. 771 00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:54,985 COME ON, LET'S GO. I KNOW A PLACE. 772 00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:03,026 AH, CHRISTY. GOOD EVENING. 773 00:36:03,028 --> 00:36:05,061 WHISKEY FOR ME... 774 00:36:05,063 --> 00:36:06,263 AND ONE FOR LLOYD. 775 00:36:06,265 --> 00:36:07,531 OOH. 776 00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:08,698 WE GONNA DO SHOTS? 777 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:10,066 YEAH. 778 00:36:10,068 --> 00:36:12,435 YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK, RIGHT? 779 00:36:12,437 --> 00:36:14,070 WELL, NOW YOU WILL. 780 00:36:14,072 --> 00:36:16,206 BE A NAUGHTY BOY TONIGHT. 781 00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:19,376 YEAH, THIS IS, UH -- THIS IS THE FIRST ONE, ACTUALLY. 782 00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:21,678 THIS IS YOUR FIRST DRINK? 783 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,547 YEP. 784 00:36:23,549 --> 00:36:24,915 WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS GOTTA BE A FIRST. 785 00:36:24,917 --> 00:36:26,183 SURE. 786 00:36:26,185 --> 00:36:28,752 BOTTOMS UP, COWBOYS! ALL RIGHT. 787 00:36:28,754 --> 00:36:30,921 THANK YOU, COWGIRL. 788 00:36:30,923 --> 00:36:32,856 ALL RIGHT. 789 00:36:35,092 --> 00:36:37,294 MMM! 790 00:36:37,296 --> 00:36:38,762 AHH. THAT'S A GOOD START. 791 00:36:38,764 --> 00:36:40,263 WHOO! 792 00:36:40,265 --> 00:36:42,132 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 793 00:36:42,134 --> 00:36:44,100 YOU DRANK THE WHOLE THING? COME ON! 794 00:36:44,102 --> 00:36:47,070 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 795 00:36:47,072 --> 00:36:50,774 WE ARE NOT LEAVING THIS BAR UNTIL YOU ARE NICE AND DRUNK. 796 00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:52,876 WHOO! 797 00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:54,244 ANOTHER ONE FOR ME. 798 00:36:54,246 --> 00:36:56,379 YOU'RE GOING FOR ANOTHER? OH, MY GOD! 799 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:57,814 AND WE ARE GONNA TALK... 800 00:36:57,816 --> 00:37:00,217 AND DRINK, 801 00:37:00,219 --> 00:37:03,720 AND YOU ARE GONNA LOVE IT, GOD DAMN IT. 802 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:05,989 BE RIGHT BACK. ALL RIGHT. 803 00:37:05,991 --> 00:37:09,459 UM... 804 00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:10,727 UH, EXCUSE ME, MISS? 805 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:13,930 YOU CAN CALL ME CHRISTY, DARLIN'. 806 00:37:13,932 --> 00:37:17,234 OKAY, UH, CHRISTY, WHEN YOU POOR OUR SHOTS, 807 00:37:17,236 --> 00:37:19,402 CAN YOU WATER MINE DOWN? 808 00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:21,104 AW, OKAY. 809 00:37:21,106 --> 00:37:24,241 LIKE, MAYBE ALL WATER? 810 00:37:24,243 --> 00:37:26,142 OKAY, HONEY. PLEASE? 811 00:37:26,144 --> 00:37:27,911 THANK YOU. 812 00:37:29,414 --> 00:37:32,515 SO... SO... 813 00:37:32,517 --> 00:37:35,085 ...GIVE DAD THE 411. 814 00:37:35,087 --> 00:37:36,987 NOBODY SAYS 411 ANYMORE, DAD, 815 00:37:36,989 --> 00:37:39,122 UNLESS THEY'RE ON DISNEY CHANNEL. 816 00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:42,025 ALL RIGHT, CURRENT EVENTS. 817 00:37:42,027 --> 00:37:43,627 FILL ME IN. 818 00:37:43,629 --> 00:37:46,796 LOVE, LIFE, PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. 819 00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:50,867 WELL, STEADY AS SHE GOES, I GUESS. 820 00:37:50,869 --> 00:37:54,471 THAT'S IT? THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GIVING ME? 821 00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,006 COME ON YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING! 822 00:37:56,008 --> 00:37:58,475 YOU CAN TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW... 823 00:37:58,477 --> 00:38:01,645 SCHOOL, FRIENDS, GRADUATION, 824 00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:03,680 LOVE LIFE... 825 00:38:03,682 --> 00:38:05,148 BOYFRIENDS. 826 00:38:05,150 --> 00:38:06,483 GOD, YOU TOO? 827 00:38:06,485 --> 00:38:08,451 DID MOM PUT YOU UP TO THIS OR SOMETHING? 828 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,288 NO. ABSOLUTELY NO. 829 00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:12,689 GOOD. 830 00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,024 BUT, IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE... 831 00:38:14,026 --> 00:38:15,625 NO, IT'S N-- I'M NOT -- 832 00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,127 NO, REALLY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. 833 00:38:17,129 --> 00:38:18,728 I'M NOT UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT, 834 00:38:18,730 --> 00:38:20,230 I JUST -- I HATE EVERYBODY TRYING TO PUT A LABEL ON ME. 835 00:38:20,232 --> 00:38:22,132 CAN I JUST BE UNDECLARED? 836 00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:26,403 JUST YOU AND ME. 837 00:38:26,405 --> 00:38:32,976 JUST...NOTHING YOU SAY WILL EVER BE REPEATED. 838 00:38:34,211 --> 00:38:35,645 YOU DO HAVE A QUESTION. 839 00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,047 UH... 840 00:38:37,049 --> 00:38:39,716 SPIT 'EM. 841 00:38:39,718 --> 00:38:42,218 HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE STRAIGHT? 842 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,155 WELL, THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 843 00:38:48,226 --> 00:38:52,595 I GUESS I JUST KNEW. 844 00:38:52,597 --> 00:38:55,532 DID YOU EVER EXPERIMENT OR ANYTHING? 845 00:38:55,534 --> 00:38:59,002 GUYS HIT ON ME ALL THE TIME. I MEAN, FOR YEARS. 846 00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:00,570 REALLY? YEAH. 847 00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:03,840 I MEAN, I -- YOU KNOW, I KISSED A GUY ONCE, 848 00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,343 AND HE FOLLOWED ME INTO THE BATHROOM. REALLY? 849 00:39:06,345 --> 00:39:08,511 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW, BUT NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED, 850 00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:09,946 YOU KNOW? NOTHING REALLY... 851 00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:12,882 BUT ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE IT. 852 00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:14,718 OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. 853 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:18,955 I GUESS I JUST WASN'T REALLY ATTRACTED TO GUYS. 854 00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:21,758 CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION? 855 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,526 WHAT GIVES YOU A BONER? 856 00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:27,530 DAD, I'M 17. EVERYTHING GIVES ME A BONER. 857 00:39:27,532 --> 00:39:30,533 A SLIGHT CHANGE IN THE WEATHER GIVES ME A BONER. 858 00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:32,135 CALCULUS GIVES ME A BONER. 859 00:39:32,137 --> 00:39:34,204 I'M NOT KIDDING! 860 00:39:34,206 --> 00:39:36,873 YOU ARE MY SON AFTER ALL. 861 00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,575 NOT REALLY, NOT QUITE, NO. YES, YOU ARE! YES! 862 00:39:38,577 --> 00:39:41,578 I'M -- I'M A VIRGIN. YEAH. 863 00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:43,480 WELL, I KNEW THAT. I SORT OF GUESSED THAT. 864 00:39:43,482 --> 00:39:46,916 NEVER EVEN BEEN KISSED -- BOY OR GIRL. 865 00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:49,119 NO. NOTHIN'. 866 00:39:49,121 --> 00:39:50,653 OH, MY GOD. 867 00:39:50,655 --> 00:39:54,724 BY YOUR AGE, I MEAN, JESUS. 868 00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:56,259 MAYBE I'M JUST YOUNG AND IDEALISTIC, 869 00:39:56,261 --> 00:39:59,462 BUT I-I THINK IT SHOULD MEAN... SOMETHING. 870 00:39:59,464 --> 00:40:02,999 I MEAN, I TH-- THERE'S MAYBE THREE PEOPLE I CAN THINK OF 871 00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:05,335 THAT I WOULD EVEN CONTEMPLATE SLEEPING WITH 872 00:40:05,337 --> 00:40:10,073 WHO ARE NI-- NICE PEOPLE, ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY, 873 00:40:10,075 --> 00:40:11,808 AND, YEAH, ONE OF THEM HAPPENS TO BE A GUY, 874 00:40:11,810 --> 00:40:13,176 BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M READY 875 00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:14,811 TO JUMP INTO BED WITH HIM RIGHT AWAY. 876 00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:20,083 I DON'T KNO-- I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW. 877 00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:24,754 ALL RIGHT. COOL. 878 00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,823 YOU'RE FINE. 879 00:40:26,825 --> 00:40:30,693 JUST RELAX, TAKE YOUR TIME. 880 00:40:30,695 --> 00:40:32,462 YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 881 00:40:32,464 --> 00:40:35,031 NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR SAY, 882 00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:37,834 YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE MY FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. 883 00:40:37,836 --> 00:40:41,271 AND I'VE DONE SOME BAD, TERRIBLE, 884 00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:44,607 IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS IN MY LIFE, 885 00:40:44,609 --> 00:40:47,777 AND I-I'M NOT IN A POSITION TO JUDGE ANYONE ELSE, 886 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:50,980 LEAST OF ALL MY SON -- 887 00:40:50,982 --> 00:40:55,618 OF WHO I AM VERY, VERY PROUD, BY THE WAY. 888 00:40:55,620 --> 00:41:00,924 THANKS, DAD. THAT'S...REALLY GOOD TO HEAR. 889 00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:32,489 YES! MOM! 890 00:41:32,491 --> 00:41:34,424 I'M IN HERE! MOM, MOM, MOM, COME HERE! 891 00:41:34,426 --> 00:41:35,859 YAHOO! 892 00:41:35,861 --> 00:41:37,160 LOOK! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! 893 00:41:37,162 --> 00:41:38,428 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 894 00:41:38,430 --> 00:41:39,562 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! IT'S HERE! 895 00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:40,563 WHAT IS THAT? READ IT. 896 00:41:40,565 --> 00:41:41,698 RIGHT? 897 00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,666 MY GOD! 898 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:45,268 YEAH, YOU DID! 899 00:41:45,270 --> 00:41:47,103 WE HAVE A GOOD CHANCE AT THE SCHOLARSHIP, RIGHT? 900 00:41:47,105 --> 00:41:49,873 OF COURSE. YES. YEAH, WE'LL MAKE IT WORK. YES. OH, GOD! 901 00:41:49,875 --> 00:41:51,207 OH, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! 902 00:41:51,209 --> 00:41:52,509 OH, I NEED TO GET YOU SOME LUGGAGE! 903 00:41:52,511 --> 00:41:54,043 I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU. ALL RIGHT? 904 00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:56,012 I LOVE YOU, TOO. OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 905 00:41:56,014 --> 00:41:57,914 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I'M SO PROUD! YEAH! 906 00:41:57,916 --> 00:41:59,349 SO PROUD! 907 00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:07,457 SO THAT'S IT. THAT'S HIS COLLEGE, 908 00:42:07,459 --> 00:42:09,626 AND YOU GOTTA TRUST ME, AND YOU CAN'T GET WEIRD. 909 00:42:09,628 --> 00:42:12,195 JUST GO WITH WHAT I DO. IT'S GONNA BE FUN! 910 00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:13,897 IS THERE BOOZE IN HERE? 911 00:42:13,899 --> 00:42:15,565 HI! WELCOME TO TIN HORN FLATS. HOW MANY? 912 00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:17,100 OH, TABLE FOR FOUR, PLEASE. 913 00:42:17,102 --> 00:42:18,368 YOU GOT IT. THREE. 914 00:42:18,370 --> 00:42:20,870 RIGHT THIS WAY. WE'RE ACTUALLY FOUR. 915 00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:24,073 WHAT? NO. WHO? WHAT? WHO'S THE FOURTH? 916 00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:26,242 JUST...NOTHIN'. WE HAVE FOUR PEOPLE TONIGHT. 917 00:42:26,244 --> 00:42:27,377 MAGGIE... 918 00:42:27,379 --> 00:42:29,379 WHO'S THE FOURTH? 919 00:42:29,381 --> 00:42:30,647 JUST A FRIEND. 920 00:42:30,649 --> 00:42:31,814 WHO? 921 00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:33,716 THEY STACK ONION RINGS HERE. 922 00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,485 HEY. HI. 923 00:42:35,487 --> 00:42:37,387 AWW, MY FUTURE EAST COAST RESIDENT. 924 00:42:37,389 --> 00:42:38,588 - HOWDY. - HI. 925 00:42:38,590 --> 00:42:40,890 HI. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO WAIT FOR YOUR WHOLE PARTY 926 00:42:40,892 --> 00:42:42,659 TO ARRIVE BEFORE I TAKE YOUR ORDER? 927 00:42:42,661 --> 00:42:43,726 WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET SOME ONION RINGS? 928 00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:45,094 THE BIG TALL STACK OF THEM, 929 00:42:45,096 --> 00:42:47,630 AND, UM, COULD YOU GET ME A MARGARITA? 930 00:42:47,632 --> 00:42:48,932 A, JUST -- DO YOU HAVE, UH, TWO SIZES? 931 00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:50,400 YEAH. OKAY, I'LL HAVE THE VENTI. 932 00:42:50,402 --> 00:42:52,402 THE LARGE. YEAH. THANK YOU. 933 00:42:52,404 --> 00:42:53,803 GOT IT, RIGHT AWAY. 934 00:42:53,805 --> 00:42:55,004 IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE COMING? 935 00:42:55,006 --> 00:42:56,606 JUST A FRIEND IS COMING TO JOIN US. 936 00:42:56,608 --> 00:42:57,907 YEAH, AND I JUST WANNA SAY 937 00:42:57,909 --> 00:42:59,509 THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO 938 00:42:59,511 --> 00:43:01,477 WITH ORCHESTRATING THE EVENTS THAT ARE ABOUT TO OCCUR. 939 00:43:01,479 --> 00:43:04,814 I JUST CAME HERE TO CELEBRATE YOU GETTING INTO NYU. 940 00:43:04,816 --> 00:43:07,317 MAGGIE, HELLO, DARLING. YOU MUST BE DAD. 941 00:43:07,319 --> 00:43:09,752 AND THIS MUST BE LLOYD. 942 00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:11,754 HELLO. YEAH, HI. 943 00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:12,822 PARKER. LOVELY TO MEET YOU. 944 00:43:12,824 --> 00:43:14,357 HI, PARKER. 945 00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:16,759 DO YOU WANNA ASK, UM, PARKER 946 00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:19,529 ABOUT, UH, WHERE HE GOES TO SCHOOL 947 00:43:19,531 --> 00:43:21,931 OR, UM, WHO CUTS HIS HAIR? 948 00:43:23,168 --> 00:43:24,534 WELL, I GO TO FIDM, 949 00:43:24,536 --> 00:43:26,936 AND I GET MY HAIR CUT AT CHOP CHOP SALON. 950 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,504 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 951 00:43:28,506 --> 00:43:29,939 UM... 952 00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:32,442 I CUT HIS HAIR. 953 00:43:32,444 --> 00:43:34,944 OH! THAT'S NICE. 954 00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:36,446 ON FRIDAY, HE DID HIS OWN BANGS. 955 00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:39,449 ALL RIGHT. UM, WELL, 956 00:43:39,451 --> 00:43:40,850 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HEAD OVER TO THE RESTROOM 957 00:43:40,852 --> 00:43:42,485 AND WASH MY HANDS BEFORE WE HAVE DINNER. 958 00:43:42,487 --> 00:43:43,553 BUT YOU'RE COMING BACK, RIGHT? 959 00:43:43,555 --> 00:43:44,954 SURE, MM-HMM. 960 00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:48,057 IS THIS SOME KIND OF FIX-UP DATE? 961 00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:51,394 NO, IT IS JUST A GATHERING OF FRIENDS. 962 00:43:51,396 --> 00:43:52,562 THAT'S IT. 963 00:43:52,564 --> 00:43:53,896 NO. I'M OUT OF HERE. NO! 964 00:43:53,898 --> 00:43:55,398 YOU CAN MAKE UP WHATEVER EXCUSE YOU WANT, 965 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,799 I'M LEAVING. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, DAD. 966 00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:58,201 LLOYD, PLEASE, JUST A SECOND! 967 00:43:58,203 --> 00:44:01,004 LLOYD, SCHOLARSHIP, PLEASE! THE SCHOLARSHIP. 968 00:44:01,006 --> 00:44:03,072 Just come here. 969 00:44:03,074 --> 00:44:04,407 JUST COME HERE. 970 00:44:04,409 --> 00:44:06,542 THE SCHOLARSHIP REP 971 00:44:06,544 --> 00:44:09,312 IS GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR GAY EXPERIENCE. 972 00:44:09,314 --> 00:44:12,515 I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY GAY FRIENDS? 973 00:44:12,517 --> 00:44:15,685 YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE GAY LIFESTYLE. 974 00:44:15,687 --> 00:44:19,689 PARKER, I'M SURE, IS FILLED WITH LOTS OF INSIGHTS. 975 00:44:19,691 --> 00:44:20,723 PLEASE, WILL YOU SIT, PLEASE? 976 00:44:20,725 --> 00:44:22,225 Just sit down. 977 00:44:25,530 --> 00:44:27,330 ALL RIGHT. 978 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,168 HOW BAD COULD IT GET, RIGHT? 979 00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:35,838 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAME OVER MITCHELL THE OTHER DAY. 980 00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,840 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE EVEN SERIOUSLY DATING. 981 00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:40,076 IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE LIKES TO BUY ME EXPENSIVE THINGS, OKAY? 982 00:44:40,078 --> 00:44:41,744 I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE I'M A PRETTY CHILL GUY. 983 00:44:41,746 --> 00:44:43,746 SO THEN I JUST SAID TO MYSELF, "PARKER, 984 00:44:43,748 --> 00:44:46,082 "WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF? 985 00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:48,384 "GUYS ARE SUCH DRAMA QUEENS. 986 00:44:48,386 --> 00:44:50,920 TAKE A DEEP BREATH," AND I JUST SAID, 987 00:44:50,922 --> 00:44:52,388 "CHOP IT ALL OFF. 988 00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:54,023 JUST CHOP THIS NAPPY WEAVE RIGHT OFF MY HEAD." 989 00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:55,525 I'M REALLY EASYGOING. 990 00:44:55,527 --> 00:44:57,193 I'M ALL ABOUT THE LOW-MAINTENANCE, YOU KNOW? 991 00:44:57,195 --> 00:44:58,561 YEAH, YOU SE-- YOU SEEM VERY LOW-MAINTENANCE. 992 00:44:58,563 --> 00:45:01,264 THAT IS SO CUTE HOW AWKWARD HE IS! 993 00:45:01,266 --> 00:45:02,765 AW! 994 00:45:02,767 --> 00:45:04,133 IF YOU NEED ANY SUPPORT 995 00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:06,469 OR ADVICE, I'M HERE FOR YOU. 996 00:45:06,471 --> 00:45:08,771 I'M INTO REALLY MASCULINE GUYS, 997 00:45:08,773 --> 00:45:10,573 LIKE, REALLY MANLY GUYS. 998 00:45:10,575 --> 00:45:12,408 REALLY MANLY GUYS. 999 00:45:12,410 --> 00:45:13,609 LIKE, IF I WANTED TO DATE A GIRL, I WOULD. 1000 00:45:13,611 --> 00:45:15,311 EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, 1001 00:45:15,313 --> 00:45:16,813 I FIND MYSELF ATTRACTED 1002 00:45:16,815 --> 00:45:19,615 TO SOMEBODY A LITTLE BIT MORE...ANDROGYNOUS. 1003 00:45:19,617 --> 00:45:21,384 OH, JESUS! 1004 00:45:21,386 --> 00:45:22,485 DAD! MY GOD! 1005 00:45:22,487 --> 00:45:24,654 REALLY? I DON'T KNOW. 1006 00:45:24,656 --> 00:45:26,255 I- HE BETTER GO TO THE BATHROOM. 1007 00:45:26,257 --> 00:45:27,323 YEAH. 1008 00:45:27,325 --> 00:45:29,258 I'LL HELP HIM. 1009 00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:30,793 GEEZ. 1010 00:45:30,795 --> 00:45:32,161 OH, MY GOD, I HAD NO IDEA 1011 00:45:32,163 --> 00:45:33,596 HOW ELSE TO GET YOU OUT OF THAT THING. 1012 00:45:33,598 --> 00:45:35,264 YOU COULD'VE JUST ASKED ME TO EXCUSE MYSELF. 1013 00:45:35,266 --> 00:45:37,900 WELL, OKAY, MAYBE THAT WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD IDEA BACK THEN, 1014 00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:39,102 BUT I DIDN'T DO THAT. 1015 00:45:39,104 --> 00:45:41,604 SO THERE. HERE. THANKS. 1016 00:45:41,606 --> 00:45:44,307 "HI, PARKER." "WHO ARE YOU?" "I'M PARKER." 1017 00:45:44,309 --> 00:45:46,142 OOH-OOH-OOH! 1018 00:45:46,144 --> 00:45:48,311 I FEEL DUMBER FOR HAVING SAT THROUGH THAT WHOLE THING. 1019 00:45:48,313 --> 00:45:49,779 MY GOD, SHE'S INSANE! 1020 00:45:49,781 --> 00:45:52,181 THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT. 1021 00:45:52,183 --> 00:45:54,450 COME ON, BE SERIOUS. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 1022 00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:56,185 YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE? 1023 00:45:56,187 --> 00:45:58,988 YEAH! BUT IF WE TRIED ANYTHING, SHE'D HANDCUFF US TO THE BOOTH. 1024 00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:02,258 JUST HOW DESPERATELY DO YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE? 1025 00:46:04,995 --> 00:46:06,362 WHAT'S GOING ON? 1026 00:46:06,364 --> 00:46:07,597 ARE YOU CHOKING? ARE YOU OKAY? 1027 00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:09,298 OH, MY GOD. NEED THE HEIMLICH? 1028 00:46:09,300 --> 00:46:11,534 HE CAN SPEAK! WHAT? THE BURGER? 1029 00:46:11,536 --> 00:46:12,368 PINEAPPLE! 1030 00:46:12,370 --> 00:46:13,369 SO? PINEAPPLE? 1031 00:46:13,371 --> 00:46:15,371 HE'S ALLERGIC TO PINEAPPLE! 1032 00:46:15,373 --> 00:46:16,939 HE'S NOT ALLERGIC TO PINEAPPLE! 1033 00:46:16,941 --> 00:46:18,307 I BETTER TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL. 1034 00:46:18,309 --> 00:46:20,443 OH, MAN. I'LL RUSH HIM TO THE HOSPITAL. 1035 00:46:20,445 --> 00:46:21,844 RIGHT. 1036 00:46:21,846 --> 00:46:23,813 THIS IS BAD! I'LL CALL YOU. 1037 00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:28,050 OH, MY GOD! 1038 00:46:31,156 --> 00:46:32,722 THANKS FOR GETTING ME OUT OF THAT. 1039 00:46:32,724 --> 00:46:35,391 DON'T KID YOURSELF, YOU OWE ME $2.50. 1040 00:46:35,393 --> 00:46:37,059 WH-- FOR GETTING ME OUT OF THE DATE? 1041 00:46:37,061 --> 00:46:39,562 AND INTEREST. YOU WERE EYEING THE STEAK KNIFE. 1042 00:46:39,564 --> 00:46:40,897 YEAH, I KNOW. I JUST -- 1043 00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:42,498 I THOUGHT SHE KNEW ME BETTER THAN THAT. 1044 00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,534 WRONG AGAIN. 1045 00:46:44,536 --> 00:46:46,035 HEY YOU! HEY! 1046 00:46:46,037 --> 00:46:48,237 FANCY SEEING YOU HERE. 1047 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,139 HEY, UH, CARRIE, THIS IS MY DAD, MAX. 1048 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:51,307 HI, NICE TO MEET YOU. 1049 00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:52,475 NICE TO MEET YOU. 1050 00:46:52,477 --> 00:46:53,810 DAMN, YOU GOT A HOT DAD, LLOYD. 1051 00:46:53,812 --> 00:46:55,578 THAT'S... NOT WEIRD AT ALL. 1052 00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:58,080 I JUST MEAN I CAN SEE WHERE YOU GET YOUR GOOD LOOKS FROM. 1053 00:46:58,082 --> 00:46:59,515 AH. 1054 00:46:59,517 --> 00:47:01,417 THE GIRLS AND I WERE JUST HEADED TO THE BAR. 1055 00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:03,719 WHY? PEGGY KNOWS THE BARTENDER. 1056 00:47:03,721 --> 00:47:05,721 WE WERE GONNA FLIRT WITH HIM, TRY TO GET SOME FREE DRINKS. 1057 00:47:05,723 --> 00:47:06,889 DOES THAT REALLY WORK? 1058 00:47:06,891 --> 00:47:08,491 LLOYD. COME ON! 1059 00:47:08,493 --> 00:47:10,660 A GROUP OF PRETTY GIRLS? IT'S NOT THAT HARD. 1060 00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:12,728 OH, ALL RIGHT. DO YOU WANNA COME WITH US? 1061 00:47:12,730 --> 00:47:14,530 NO, I'M ACTUALLY -- 1062 00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,933 I'M GONNA HANG OUT WITH MY DAD TONIGHT. 1063 00:47:16,935 --> 00:47:19,368 OH, OKAY. WELL, UH, IF YOU WANNA JOIN, 1064 00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:22,572 WE'LL BE OVER THERE GETTING DRUNK, 1065 00:47:22,574 --> 00:47:24,841 SO STOP BY, MAYBE? 1066 00:47:24,843 --> 00:47:26,742 MAYBE. 1067 00:47:26,744 --> 00:47:28,444 OKAY. THINK ABOUT IT. ALL RIGHT. 1068 00:47:28,446 --> 00:47:29,912 BYE, LLOYD. NICE TO MEET YOU, DAD. 1069 00:47:29,914 --> 00:47:30,913 NICE TO MEET YOU. 1070 00:47:30,915 --> 00:47:32,748 BYE, CARRIE. 1071 00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:34,050 HE'S REALLY CUTE. 1072 00:47:34,052 --> 00:47:35,952 YOU SURE? 1073 00:47:35,954 --> 00:47:37,887 YEAH, IT'S FINE. I'LL SEE HER AT SCHOOL. 1074 00:47:37,889 --> 00:47:39,255 SHE'S HOT. 1075 00:47:39,257 --> 00:47:41,257 DAD, COME ON. WHAT? 1076 00:47:41,259 --> 00:47:43,626 IT'S A LITTLE CREEPY. 1077 00:47:43,628 --> 00:47:46,562 NOT -- IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU. 1078 00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:48,464 EYES ONLY FOR YOU. 1079 00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:50,199 OH, COME ON. 1080 00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,468 YEAH. NO! 1081 00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:53,736 THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT YOU, 1082 00:47:53,738 --> 00:47:55,771 SHE TOUCHED YOU. 1083 00:47:55,773 --> 00:47:57,373 OKAY, SO? 1084 00:47:57,375 --> 00:47:59,609 NO, A-A CASUAL TOUCH BY A GIRL IS NEVER BY ACCIDENT. 1085 00:47:59,611 --> 00:48:01,878 YOU'RE CRAZY. I AM NOT CRAZY. 1086 00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,914 YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW GIRLS? I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH THE GIRLS. 1087 00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:06,883 ARE YOU TRYING TO STRAIGHTEN ME OUT? 1088 00:48:06,885 --> 00:48:09,085 NO. 1089 00:48:09,087 --> 00:48:10,887 I'M JUST, MAYBE, HELPING YOU 1090 00:48:10,889 --> 00:48:13,756 BECOME A MORE COMPLETE VERSION OF YOURSELF. 1091 00:48:13,758 --> 00:48:15,324 CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE? 1092 00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:17,393 YEAH. YOU WANNA GO HOME? 1093 00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,162 NO! I DON'T WANNA GO HOME, ANYWHERE BUT HOME. 1094 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:32,308 WOW. 1095 00:48:32,310 --> 00:48:34,644 I LOVE COMING BACK HERE, SON. 1096 00:48:34,646 --> 00:48:36,946 MM. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 1097 00:48:36,948 --> 00:48:40,116 USED TO SMOKE WEED BACK THERE IN BETWEEN PERIODS. 1098 00:48:40,118 --> 00:48:42,451 YEAH? YEAH. 1099 00:48:42,453 --> 00:48:44,186 I'LL DITCH CLASS SOMETIMES. 1100 00:48:44,188 --> 00:48:47,089 I'LL SIT AT THE BENCH BY THE SOCCER FIELDS. 1101 00:48:47,091 --> 00:48:48,624 YOU DITCH CLASS? 1102 00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:50,359 YEAH. I READ, BUT, YEAH. 1103 00:48:50,361 --> 00:48:51,994 REALLY? YEAH. 1104 00:48:51,996 --> 00:48:54,497 OH, WOW, THIS IS WHERE YOUR MOTHER WOULD EAT LUNCH 1105 00:48:54,499 --> 00:48:55,831 WITH HER FRIENDS EVERY DAY. 1106 00:48:55,833 --> 00:48:57,166 HUH. 1107 00:48:57,168 --> 00:48:59,035 THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS THE TREE 1108 00:48:59,037 --> 00:49:01,103 YOU SIT UNDER IF YOU WANNA GET POOPED ON BY SQUIRRELS. 1109 00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:03,205 WELL, THAT'S KINDA WHAT IT WAS LIKE, 1110 00:49:03,207 --> 00:49:04,674 UH, ROMANCING YOUR MOTHER. 1111 00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:09,211 WHAT'S THE MEANEST THING YOU EVER DID IN HIGH SCHOOL? 1112 00:49:09,213 --> 00:49:11,948 ISN'T EVERYBODY A JERK IN HIGH SCHOOL? 1113 00:49:11,950 --> 00:49:15,384 BEING MEAN, IT SOMEHOW EQUATES WITH BEING COOL. 1114 00:49:17,487 --> 00:49:20,022 EVERYBODY'S SO LOST AND STUPID. 1115 00:49:20,024 --> 00:49:22,358 YOU THINK WE WOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL? 1116 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:23,960 YOU AND ME? 1117 00:49:23,962 --> 00:49:25,995 YEAH. BE HONEST. 1118 00:49:25,997 --> 00:49:27,630 PROBABLY NOT, HUH? 1119 00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:28,965 YEAH, I DON'T THINK SO, EITHER. 1120 00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:30,566 WELL, I WAS JUST SUCH A JERK, YOU KNOW? 1121 00:49:30,568 --> 00:49:34,971 I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE DESERVED TO BE YOUR FRIEND. 1122 00:49:34,973 --> 00:49:36,572 IT'S OKAY. 1123 00:49:36,574 --> 00:49:38,674 I'M NOT OFFENDED THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN 1124 00:49:38,676 --> 00:49:39,909 MY HYPOTHETICAL FRIEND. 1125 00:49:39,911 --> 00:49:43,145 DON'T MAKE A JOKE ABOUT IT. I'M SERIOUS. 1126 00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:46,515 YOU'RE A MUCH BETTER PERSON THAN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 1127 00:49:46,517 --> 00:49:49,251 YOU'RE MORE THOUGHTFUL. YOU'RE MORE MATURE. 1128 00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,321 HELL, YOU'RE A BETTER PERSON THAN I AM AS AN ADULT. 1129 00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:55,424 AND YOU REALLY OUGHT TO STOP BEING SELF-DEPRECATING. 1130 00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:57,560 YOU JUST USE IT AS ARMOR. 1131 00:49:57,562 --> 00:50:00,029 I-I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOU ALL WORKED UP. 1132 00:50:03,601 --> 00:50:07,236 YOU KNOW... 1133 00:50:07,238 --> 00:50:09,271 COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 1134 00:50:09,273 --> 00:50:14,176 THE NEXT TIME SOMEBODY OPENS UP TO YOU, 1135 00:50:14,178 --> 00:50:17,213 DON'T THINK ABOUT THEIR INTENTIONS... 1136 00:50:17,215 --> 00:50:22,385 OR WHERE IT MAY BE GOING OR HOW IT MIGHT END. 1137 00:50:22,387 --> 00:50:25,354 EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT BE EMBARRASSED BY IT, 1138 00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:29,225 JUST PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. 1139 00:50:29,227 --> 00:50:32,928 YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY ARE A PERSON WORTH KNOWING. 1140 00:50:32,930 --> 00:50:34,897 YOU REALLY ARE. 1141 00:50:34,899 --> 00:50:36,932 MM. 1142 00:50:36,934 --> 00:50:39,301 YEAH. 1143 00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:53,416 HE'S NOT HERE YET, HUH? 1144 00:50:53,418 --> 00:50:55,317 WHAT? HOW DID YOU FIND ME? 1145 00:50:55,319 --> 00:50:57,119 WHAT? I'M YOUR MOTHER. I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES. 1146 00:50:57,121 --> 00:50:58,320 I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU TO LEAVE, 1147 00:50:58,322 --> 00:50:59,555 BUT I KNOW THAT YOU WON'T, 1148 00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:01,657 SO, PLEASE, JUST STAY QUIET, OKAY? 1149 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:03,325 DON'T GET INVOLVED. PLEASE? 1150 00:51:03,327 --> 00:51:04,827 YES, I WILL. THANK YOU. 1151 00:51:04,829 --> 00:51:06,495 OKAY. DON'T FORGET YOU'RE IN THE CHOIR, 1152 00:51:06,497 --> 00:51:09,999 AND YOU'RE A HUGE, ESSENTIAL PART OF THIS ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL. 1153 00:51:10,001 --> 00:51:12,101 AND IF THERE'S A HELL, I'LL BE GOING THERE FOR THIS. 1154 00:51:12,103 --> 00:51:13,602 LISTEN TO ME. HUH? 1155 00:51:13,604 --> 00:51:16,405 YOU'RE IN THE HOMESTRETCH, OKAY? 1156 00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:18,240 YOUR GRADES GOT YOU HERE. 1157 00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:20,943 YOU JUST HAVE TO CONVINCE DEREK OF YOUR EXEMPLARY CHARACTER. 1158 00:51:20,945 --> 00:51:22,945 YES, YES. I DO. I HAVE TO CONVINCE HIM. 1159 00:51:22,947 --> 00:51:24,180 YES. NOT WE, ME. 1160 00:51:24,182 --> 00:51:25,848 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 1161 00:51:25,850 --> 00:51:27,149 SO THEN HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY 1162 00:51:27,151 --> 00:51:28,250 ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES AS A GAY MAN? 1163 00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:30,686 LLOYD? YES! 1164 00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:32,621 YES. UH, THANK YOU, MA'AM, THAT'S ALL THE HELP I'LL NEED. 1165 00:51:32,623 --> 00:51:33,355 DON'T CALL ME MA'AM. 1166 00:51:33,357 --> 00:51:34,657 HI. 1167 00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:35,858 HI, I'M DEREK FROM THE POINT FOUNDATION. 1168 00:51:35,860 --> 00:51:37,093 HI, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 1169 00:51:37,095 --> 00:51:39,028 SO, WHAT IS IT LIKE GROWING UP 1170 00:51:39,030 --> 00:51:41,297 OUT AND GAY IN VENICE? 1171 00:51:41,299 --> 00:51:44,166 UH, SORRY, WHAT? 1172 00:51:44,168 --> 00:51:45,668 HOW DO KIDS HERE TREAT YOU 1173 00:51:45,670 --> 00:51:48,270 WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE GAY AND OPEN ABOUT IT? 1174 00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,839 UM... 1175 00:51:49,841 --> 00:51:52,675 WELL, I DON-- I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S JUST THAT I'M, 1176 00:51:52,677 --> 00:51:53,976 UM, A SHY PERSONALITY 1177 00:51:53,978 --> 00:51:55,544 OR IF IT'S THIS DEFENSE MECHANISM 1178 00:51:55,546 --> 00:51:58,180 BUT, UH, I'VE SURVIVED SCHOOL 1179 00:51:58,182 --> 00:52:02,151 BY NOT PUTTING MYSELF IN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS. 1180 00:52:02,153 --> 00:52:04,987 UM, IT'S -- IT'S ONLY BEEN RECENTLY THAT I'VE, 1181 00:52:04,989 --> 00:52:07,456 UH, REALLY LET PEOPLE GET TO KNOW ME, 1182 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,826 YOU KNOW, P-PUT MYSELF OUT THERE TO BE JUDGED. 1183 00:52:10,828 --> 00:52:14,897 UM, IT'S SCARY, YOU KNOW, 1184 00:52:14,899 --> 00:52:17,199 IT'S REALLY SCARY, BUT, UH, 1185 00:52:17,201 --> 00:52:19,468 I'VE BEEN REALLY SURPRISED 1186 00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:22,671 BY THE INHERENT KINDNESS IN PEOPLE. 1187 00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:24,240 THAT'S WONDERFUL. 1188 00:52:24,242 --> 00:52:26,809 TO SEE A YOUNG PERSON WHO KNOWS WHO THEY ARE 1189 00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,711 AND CAN SPEAK PROUDLY ABOUT IT. 1190 00:52:28,713 --> 00:52:30,479 THAT'S EXACTLY THE TYPE OF PERSON 1191 00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:32,181 OUR SCHOLARSHIP IS SEEKING OUT. 1192 00:52:32,183 --> 00:52:34,650 ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A VISIT TO YOUR ADMINISTRATORS, 1193 00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:37,153 JUST TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS, 1194 00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:38,921 AND WE'D LIKE TO GET AN IDEA 1195 00:52:38,923 --> 00:52:41,390 OF WHAT YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS THINK OF YOU. 1196 00:52:41,392 --> 00:52:42,658 MY -- MY FELLOW STUDENTS? 1197 00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:44,160 I SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS, 1198 00:52:44,162 --> 00:52:47,196 BUT YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP. 1199 00:52:47,198 --> 00:52:50,099 THAT'S GREAT. THANK YOU. 1200 00:52:50,101 --> 00:52:52,234 SO, WHAT UPCOMING EVENTS ARE THERE? 1201 00:52:52,236 --> 00:52:54,937 WELL, UM... 1202 00:52:54,939 --> 00:52:58,574 I SUPPOSE... 1203 00:52:58,576 --> 00:53:01,076 PROM! 1204 00:53:04,448 --> 00:53:05,581 HELLO. 1205 00:53:05,583 --> 00:53:06,749 HI. 1206 00:53:06,751 --> 00:53:08,083 I'M LLOYD'S MOM. 1207 00:53:08,085 --> 00:53:09,218 OH! 1208 00:53:09,220 --> 00:53:10,686 I'M MAGGIE. 1209 00:53:10,688 --> 00:53:12,121 NO, DON'T COME AROUND! OH, SHE'S COMING AROUND. 1210 00:53:12,123 --> 00:53:13,455 HI, THERE. NICE TO MEET YOU. 1211 00:53:13,457 --> 00:53:14,957 OH, LET'S JUST HUG IT OUT. AM I WRONG? 1212 00:53:14,959 --> 00:53:17,126 HERE'S THE THING. 1213 00:53:17,128 --> 00:53:19,361 LLOYD IS TOO SHY TO TELL YOU, 1214 00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:22,097 BUT HE HAS BEEN NOMINATED AS PROM KING. 1215 00:53:22,099 --> 00:53:24,266 AND I THINK HE'S GONNA WIN. 1216 00:53:25,736 --> 00:53:27,536 I-IT'S ALL SET THEN, LLOYD. I'LL SEE YOU AT PROM. 1217 00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:28,537 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 1218 00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:29,905 LLOYD'S MOM? YES. 1219 00:53:29,907 --> 00:53:31,407 IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU TOO. 1220 00:53:31,409 --> 00:53:34,043 YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF YOUR SON. 1221 00:53:34,045 --> 00:53:37,046 THANK YOU. 1222 00:53:38,249 --> 00:53:40,416 YOU DID IT! SHH! SHH! 1223 00:53:40,418 --> 00:53:42,151 We're good! This is a library. 1224 00:53:42,153 --> 00:53:44,286 Okay, okay, sorry. Oh, but you were perfect. 1225 00:53:44,288 --> 00:53:45,921 You spoke from the heart. 1226 00:53:45,923 --> 00:53:47,256 OKAY, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. NOW PLEASE LEAVE. 1227 00:53:47,258 --> 00:53:48,390 IT WAS -- OKAY. I'M GONNA CALL YOUR DAD, 1228 00:53:48,392 --> 00:53:49,625 EVEN THOUGH I HATE HIM. 1229 00:53:49,627 --> 00:53:51,126 OKAY, FINE. THANK YOU. BYE! 1230 00:53:51,128 --> 00:53:52,995 BYE, I LOVE YOU. BYE! BYE. 1231 00:53:52,997 --> 00:53:54,997 BYE. 1232 00:53:54,999 --> 00:53:56,632 I REFUSE TO DO OUR SCIENCE HOMEWORK. 1233 00:53:56,634 --> 00:53:58,500 I KNOW. 1234 00:54:03,773 --> 00:54:06,141 WHOA, HEY! I SAW YOU WITH HIM! 1235 00:54:06,143 --> 00:54:08,277 OKAY, I-I DON'T KNOW -- YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY. 1236 00:54:08,279 --> 00:54:09,678 DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU WHORE! 1237 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,146 WHAT? 1238 00:54:11,148 --> 00:54:12,681 I WAS HIS FIRST, YOU SKANKY BITCH! WHOSE FIRST? 1239 00:54:12,683 --> 00:54:15,517 PARKER'S! OH, PARKER? 1240 00:54:15,519 --> 00:54:17,953 YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO MY LOVE FOR PARKER! 1241 00:54:17,955 --> 00:54:19,755 THAT SELF-IMPORTANT NARCISSIST? 1242 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,156 WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON? 1243 00:54:21,158 --> 00:54:22,491 OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY! 1244 00:54:22,493 --> 00:54:23,993 BREAK IT UP! HE'S TRYING TO TAKE MY MAN! 1245 00:54:23,995 --> 00:54:25,761 HE DOESN'T GO TO THIS SCHOOL! HEY! 1246 00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:26,996 YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL COP! COME ON WITH ME. 1247 00:54:26,998 --> 00:54:29,331 LEAVE HIM ALONE! STOP IT! 1248 00:54:29,333 --> 00:54:31,166 LEAVE ME ALONE! OOH, YOU'RE STRONG. 1249 00:54:31,168 --> 00:54:32,501 OH, YOU'RE -- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1250 00:54:32,503 --> 00:54:34,169 Y-YEAH, ARE YOU? 1251 00:54:34,171 --> 00:54:36,972 YEAH, I'M F-- I'M FINE. LET'S -- LET'S GO. COME ON. 1252 00:54:36,974 --> 00:54:38,607 HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GUY? 1253 00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:40,209 I DON'T KNOW HIM. REALLY? 1254 00:54:40,211 --> 00:54:41,710 NEVER MET HIM BEFORE. NO! 1255 00:54:41,712 --> 00:54:42,711 NOT A SCORNED LOVER? 1256 00:54:42,713 --> 00:54:43,846 NO, NO. 1257 00:54:43,848 --> 00:54:44,947 WELL, I DON'T -- 1258 00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:46,181 OH. WHAT? 1259 00:54:46,183 --> 00:54:47,383 YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE -- IT'S LIKE -- 1260 00:54:47,385 --> 00:54:48,617 WHERE? IS IT 1261 00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:50,619 ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO. YOU'RE GOOD. 1262 00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:53,155 IT'S A LITTLE TICKLISH. YEAH. 1263 00:54:53,157 --> 00:54:56,825 UH, OH, HERE, READY? JUST -- YOU GOT A LITTLE -- 1264 00:54:56,827 --> 00:54:59,061 JUST, UM... WHAT? JUST... 1265 00:54:59,063 --> 00:55:00,562 JUST...YEAH. 1266 00:55:00,564 --> 00:55:02,798 HOW'S THAT? 1267 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,166 THAT -- THAT'S -- 1268 00:55:04,168 --> 00:55:06,135 YEAH? YEAH. 1269 00:55:06,137 --> 00:55:08,304 I'VE GOT, LIKE, ROCKER-HAIR GOIN' ON RIGHT NOW, RIGHT? 1270 00:55:08,306 --> 00:55:10,472 LLOYD COOPER, WHOO! YEAH, THAT'S YOU. 1271 00:55:10,474 --> 00:55:12,074 NO. NOT ME. 1272 00:55:12,076 --> 00:55:14,243 SO, YOU READY FOR PROM? 1273 00:55:14,245 --> 00:55:15,911 NO, NOT IN THE LEAST. 1274 00:55:15,913 --> 00:55:17,713 ME NEITHER. 1275 00:55:17,715 --> 00:55:20,582 YOU'RE, UH, GOIN' WITH JOSH? RIGHT? 1276 00:55:20,584 --> 00:55:22,885 WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THAT? 1277 00:55:22,887 --> 00:55:24,820 I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE I'M A CHEERLEADER 1278 00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:26,488 AND HE'S THE QUARTERBACK, 1279 00:55:26,490 --> 00:55:28,590 AND, I DON'T KNOW, WE'VE SLEPT TOGETHER 200,000 TIMES 1280 00:55:28,592 --> 00:55:30,359 DOESN'T MAKE IT A FOREGONE CONCLUSION. 1281 00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:31,994 RIGHT. AH. MY BAD. 1282 00:55:33,364 --> 00:55:35,197 NAH, I'M GOIN' STAG THIS YEAR. 1283 00:55:35,199 --> 00:55:36,899 YEAH? 1284 00:55:36,901 --> 00:55:39,234 YEAH. THE GUYS AT THIS SCHOOL ARE SO DUMB. 1285 00:55:39,236 --> 00:55:41,036 AND AS AN ADDED BONUS, IT'LL PISS OFF MY MOM. 1286 00:55:41,038 --> 00:55:42,404 MM. 1287 00:55:42,406 --> 00:55:44,506 YEAH, I-I'M GOING BY MYSELF, TOO. 1288 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,275 WHAT? WHY? 1289 00:55:46,277 --> 00:55:49,278 BOYS ARE LINING UP TO GO WITH YOU. 1290 00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:52,915 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 1291 00:55:52,917 --> 00:55:54,850 UH, CARRIE? 1292 00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:58,721 UH, YOU, UH... YOU WOULDN'T AT ALL 1293 00:55:58,723 --> 00:56:01,790 BE INTERESTED IN MAYBE GOING TO PROM WITH ME? 1294 00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:04,727 UH, REALLY? 1295 00:56:04,729 --> 00:56:08,364 YEAH! UH, WHY NOT? 1296 00:56:08,366 --> 00:56:10,099 I THOUGHT YOU LIKED BOYS. 1297 00:56:10,101 --> 00:56:12,935 UH, I'M ASKING YOU 1298 00:56:12,937 --> 00:56:16,105 BECAUSE I...WANT TO GO WITH YOU. 1299 00:56:16,107 --> 00:56:19,908 I EN-ENJOY, UM, SPENDING TIME WITH YOU. 1300 00:56:19,910 --> 00:56:23,812 I -- I -- YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, EASILY AND OFTEN. 1301 00:56:23,814 --> 00:56:26,115 WHEN YOU TALK IN CLASS, 1302 00:56:26,117 --> 00:56:28,117 I ACTUALLY ENJOY HEARING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, 1303 00:56:28,119 --> 00:56:30,619 AS OPPOSED TO NORMALLY WHEN I JUST WANNA GOUGE MY EYES OUT. 1304 00:56:34,291 --> 00:56:38,660 WELL... THAT JUST MADE MY DAY. 1305 00:56:38,662 --> 00:56:41,163 AND? 1306 00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:43,766 LET'S DO THIS, IT'LL BE FUN. 1307 00:56:43,768 --> 00:56:45,634 REALLY? REALLY. 1308 00:56:45,636 --> 00:56:47,202 YES. 1309 00:56:55,345 --> 00:56:56,845 DUDE. 1310 00:56:56,847 --> 00:56:58,147 WHAT WAS THAT? 1311 00:56:58,149 --> 00:57:01,150 NOTHIN', IT WAS FINE. 1312 00:57:01,152 --> 00:57:02,985 SHE JUST KISSED YOU ON THE CHEEK?! 1313 00:57:02,987 --> 00:57:04,253 YEAH! WHAT?! 1314 00:57:04,255 --> 00:57:05,621 YEAH! 1315 00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:07,756 YEAH, DUDE! 1316 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:11,193 OKAY. WA-HOO-HOO! 1317 00:57:11,195 --> 00:57:13,462 SOMEONE'S GOT A DATE! 1318 00:57:13,464 --> 00:57:15,564 SOMEONE'S GOT A DATE! 1319 00:57:19,369 --> 00:57:21,870 WHAT, DO YOU TAKE ALL NINE OF THESE MUSTARDS 1320 00:57:21,872 --> 00:57:23,705 AND PUT THEM TOGETHER AND EAT IT? 1321 00:57:23,707 --> 00:57:25,841 THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE! THERE'S YOGURT. 1322 00:57:27,545 --> 00:57:29,645 MMM! 1323 00:57:29,647 --> 00:57:32,347 YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY GONNA DRINK THAT CONCOCTION, ARE YOU? 1324 00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:34,783 YEAH, I AM. AND SO ARE YOU. 1325 00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:36,018 BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA GET INTO BETTER SHAPE, 1326 00:57:36,020 --> 00:57:37,453 AGING ROCK STAR. 1327 00:57:37,455 --> 00:57:38,720 WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, RIGHT? NOTHING. 1328 00:57:38,722 --> 00:57:41,023 HELLO, PARENTAL UNITS! 1329 00:57:41,025 --> 00:57:42,791 HEY! HEY. 1330 00:57:42,793 --> 00:57:45,994 TONS OF YOGURT IN THERE? TRY IT. 1331 00:57:45,996 --> 00:57:48,530 WELL, HE LOOKS HAPPY FOR A CHANGE. 1332 00:57:48,532 --> 00:57:52,000 YEAH, MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE HE HAS A DATE TO THE PROM. 1333 00:57:52,002 --> 00:57:53,836 I WOULD KNOW IF HE HAD A DATE TO THE PROM. 1334 00:57:53,838 --> 00:57:55,871 MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T. 1335 00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:58,974 WHAT? 1336 00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:01,043 HE HAS A DATE TO THE PROM? 1337 00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,644 HE GOT A DATE FOR THE PROM. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 1338 00:58:02,646 --> 00:58:05,214 I GUESS HE TOLD ME. 1339 00:58:05,216 --> 00:58:06,882 HAVE YOU MET THE GUY? 1340 00:58:06,884 --> 00:58:09,151 WHAT'S HIS NAME? HOW OLD IS HE? WHO IS HE? 1341 00:58:09,153 --> 00:58:13,088 CARRIE. AGED 17, 18? 1342 00:58:13,090 --> 00:58:15,657 CARRIE. I'VE NEVER MET A BOY "CARRIE," 1343 00:58:15,659 --> 00:58:18,494 BUT IT'S LIKE CARY GRANT. IS HE DASHING? 1344 00:58:18,496 --> 00:58:20,062 CARRIE IS NOT A BOY. 1345 00:58:20,064 --> 00:58:22,030 WHAT? 1346 00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:23,832 CARRIE IS A GIRL. 1347 00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:25,767 I DON'T GET IT. 1348 00:58:25,769 --> 00:58:29,538 I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW I COULD MAKE THAT ANY CLEARER. 1349 00:58:29,540 --> 00:58:31,673 OH. 1350 00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:33,909 GREAT. 1351 00:58:33,911 --> 00:58:35,010 SO TYPICAL OF YOU. 1352 00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,879 OH! 1353 00:58:36,881 --> 00:58:38,914 GREAT, THAT WAS GOOD. 1354 00:58:42,119 --> 00:58:44,853 YOU PLANNED THIS. I KNOW YOU DID. 1355 00:58:44,855 --> 00:58:47,089 YOU CONFUSED HIM INTO ASKING A GIRL OUT. 1356 00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:49,191 I DID NOT! IT'S WHAT YOU DO. 1357 00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:54,630 IT IS AMAZING HOW A GREAT MOMENT FOR OUR SON OCCURS, 1358 00:58:54,632 --> 00:58:57,566 AND SOMEHOW YOU THINK IT'S SOME KIND OF ATTACK ON YOU! 1359 00:58:57,568 --> 00:58:58,934 MAYBE YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE ACCEPTING THIS, 1360 00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:02,437 BUT LISTEN TO ME NOW -- OUR SON IS GAY. 1361 00:59:03,941 --> 00:59:05,874 AND SHOVING HIM FACE FIRST OUT OF THE CLOSET 1362 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,142 IS WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST? 1363 00:59:07,144 --> 00:59:08,744 THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M DOING. 1364 00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:11,647 AND I REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR HIM. 1365 00:59:11,649 --> 00:59:13,615 I'M SORRY. I JUST DON'T, OKAY? 1366 00:59:13,617 --> 00:59:15,717 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN HERE, HERE, FOR 17 YEARS, 1367 00:59:15,719 --> 00:59:17,119 DAY IN AND DAY OUT. 1368 00:59:17,121 --> 00:59:19,054 THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT YOU'VE SPENT WITH HIM 1369 00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:21,623 ADDS UP TO, I DON'T KNOW, A CELEBRITY MARRIAGE? 1370 00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:24,126 SO, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU JUST DON'T GET TO SAY. 1371 00:59:24,128 --> 00:59:26,595 I'M HERE! I'M HERE NOW! 1372 00:59:26,597 --> 00:59:29,464 I'M DOING MY BEST, AND, YOU KNOW, IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, 1373 00:59:29,466 --> 00:59:31,266 LLOYD IS GOING TO HATE YOU. 1374 00:59:31,268 --> 00:59:34,736 AND I WOULDN'T BLAME HIM ONE IOTA. 1375 00:59:34,738 --> 00:59:37,272 YEAH, GOOD. I GET IT NOW. 1376 00:59:37,274 --> 00:59:39,675 YOU GET TO BE BEST BUDS WITH HIM -- FINE! 1377 00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:41,910 TAKE HIM OUT, GET HIM DRUNK, PICK UP GIRLS, 1378 00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:44,346 I DON'T CARE, BUT WHEN THE TIME COMES TO PAY FOR SHIT, 1379 00:59:44,348 --> 00:59:46,181 DON'T COME TO ME BECAUSE I'LL BE HERE 1380 00:59:46,183 --> 00:59:49,184 TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO PAY FOR COLLEGE ON THE EAST COAST. 1381 00:59:49,186 --> 00:59:50,919 YOU COULD NEVER, EVER, EVER DO IT, 1382 00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:52,821 AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE FOR ME 1383 00:59:52,823 --> 00:59:55,424 BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A DEADBEAT DAD! 1384 01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:05,400 SORRY, LLOYD. 1385 01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:17,279 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' OUT HERE? 1386 01:00:23,052 --> 01:00:25,454 HEY, SO, A PROM DATE, HUH? 1387 01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:27,656 YEAH. MM-HMM. 1388 01:00:27,658 --> 01:00:29,891 IS SHE PRETTY? 1389 01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:31,426 UH, YEAH. 1390 01:00:40,536 --> 01:00:41,737 FIX THAT TABLECLOTH! 1391 01:00:41,739 --> 01:00:43,472 WHERE ARE THOSE CHAIRS GOING? 1392 01:00:55,151 --> 01:00:57,552 LESS SMILING, MORE WORKING! 1393 01:00:57,554 --> 01:01:01,323 BARBARA WOLF DEMANDS THIS PROM BE PERFECT! 1394 01:01:27,183 --> 01:01:28,850 HEY, DAD. 1395 01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:33,255 YOU LIKE IT? 1396 01:01:33,257 --> 01:01:35,190 YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN. 1397 01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:36,758 THANK YOU. 1398 01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,127 OKAY, I GOT IT. I GOT IT. OKAY. HERE I AM. 1399 01:01:39,129 --> 01:01:40,429 SO HANDSOME. 1400 01:01:40,431 --> 01:01:43,365 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? 1401 01:01:43,367 --> 01:01:47,636 I THOUGHT I MIGHT COOK YOU DINNER. 1402 01:01:47,638 --> 01:01:48,737 A LITTLE PEACE OFFERING. 1403 01:01:48,739 --> 01:01:50,105 MOM? DAD? 1404 01:01:50,107 --> 01:01:53,442 IS THERE, UH, SOMETHIN' YOU WANNA TELL ME? 1405 01:01:53,444 --> 01:01:56,611 NO, I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN HIM YET. WAIT, I'M COMING DOWN. 1406 01:01:58,282 --> 01:01:59,581 OKAY, I WANT A FULL SHOT, FULL SHOT! OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 1407 01:01:59,583 --> 01:02:01,550 OKAY. LOOK AT ME. 1408 01:02:01,552 --> 01:02:04,086 YOU'RE SO HANDSOME. THANK YOU. 1409 01:02:04,088 --> 01:02:06,922 OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT YOU. 1410 01:02:08,092 --> 01:02:10,125 OH, OKAY. READY? MM. 1411 01:02:10,127 --> 01:02:11,326 THREE... 1412 01:02:11,328 --> 01:02:12,394 TWO. ONE. 1413 01:02:12,396 --> 01:02:13,562 THERE YOU GO. 1414 01:02:13,564 --> 01:02:14,930 HAVE FUN, BE SAFE. 1415 01:02:14,932 --> 01:02:16,231 OKAY, YEAH, YOU TOO. UNH-UNH, MM. 1416 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:17,599 SEE YOU, DAD. 1417 01:02:17,601 --> 01:02:18,667 BYE. 1418 01:02:18,669 --> 01:02:21,803 GOOD NIGHT. 1419 01:02:25,842 --> 01:02:29,010 THIS BETTER BE AN EPIC DINNER. 1420 01:02:29,012 --> 01:02:31,847 BARBECUE. 1421 01:02:54,138 --> 01:02:56,204 MAGGIE? 1422 01:03:01,277 --> 01:03:03,211 WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT, BUT... 1423 01:03:09,552 --> 01:03:13,321 YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT. 1424 01:03:13,323 --> 01:03:14,956 WELL, THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE IT. 1425 01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:17,692 HEY. 1426 01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:24,666 HI. HI. 1427 01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:26,067 YOU LOOK SO CUTE! 1428 01:03:26,069 --> 01:03:27,302 I LOVE YOUR DRESS. IT'S SO GLAMOROUS. 1429 01:03:27,304 --> 01:03:29,871 THANK YOU. HAVE FUN TONIGHT. 1430 01:03:39,081 --> 01:03:41,383 FREEZE! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', PUNK? 1431 01:03:41,385 --> 01:03:44,252 GIVE ME THAT. GIVE IT TO ME. 1432 01:03:49,559 --> 01:03:51,359 HI, GUYS. HOW ARE YOU? 1433 01:03:55,699 --> 01:03:59,367 DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE OLD FOR THE PROM? 1434 01:03:59,369 --> 01:04:00,602 HI. 1435 01:04:00,604 --> 01:04:01,770 HMM. 1436 01:04:03,439 --> 01:04:04,940 LOOK AT THEM. 1437 01:04:07,076 --> 01:04:10,178 COME ON, LET HIM BE. LET'S GO. 1438 01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:12,447 WHY ISN'T SHE DANCING? SHE SEEMS UPRIGHT. 1439 01:04:12,449 --> 01:04:14,216 SHE'S JUST NOT RIGHT FOR HIM. 1440 01:04:14,218 --> 01:04:16,184 LET 'EM HAVE THEIR FUN. MAYBE WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN. 1441 01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:17,586 SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN LIKE TO DANCE. 1442 01:04:17,588 --> 01:04:19,087 SHE JUST SEEMS LIKE THAT TYPE WHO'S LIKE, 1443 01:04:19,089 --> 01:04:20,689 "EW, I DON'T WANNA GET MY DRESS DIRTY." 1444 01:04:20,691 --> 01:04:22,524 YOU'VE GOTTA QUIT BASHING CARRIE. 1445 01:04:22,526 --> 01:04:25,427 LISTEN TO ME, I HAVE SOMEBODY BETTER FOR LLOYD -- BETTER! 1446 01:04:25,429 --> 01:04:26,962 AND HE'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE NOW, 1447 01:04:26,964 --> 01:04:29,397 AND IT'S JUST GONNA BE PERFECT, AND IT HAS TO HAPPEN 1448 01:04:29,399 --> 01:04:31,132 BECAUSE THE SCHOLARSHIP REP IS HERE! 1449 01:04:31,134 --> 01:04:32,701 YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! 1450 01:04:32,703 --> 01:04:34,870 HE ARRANGED THIS DATE. HE DID! 1451 01:04:34,872 --> 01:04:36,771 LET HIM BE! 1452 01:04:36,773 --> 01:04:39,441 THIS COULD ALL BLOW UP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF HER! 1453 01:04:39,443 --> 01:04:41,243 IT IS TIME TO LEAVE HIM ALONE. 1454 01:04:41,245 --> 01:04:43,311 SO LET'S GO. NOW! 1455 01:04:43,313 --> 01:04:44,713 EXCUSE ME. 1456 01:04:44,715 --> 01:04:46,081 YOU OKAY? 1457 01:04:46,083 --> 01:04:49,251 YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 1458 01:04:49,253 --> 01:04:50,619 OKAY. 1459 01:04:50,621 --> 01:04:51,820 OKAY. OKAY. 1460 01:04:51,822 --> 01:04:53,088 GOOD. 1461 01:04:53,090 --> 01:04:56,558 WHAT -- NO, NO, NO! 1462 01:05:04,467 --> 01:05:06,968 OKAY. OKAY. 1463 01:05:26,156 --> 01:05:28,189 BEAUTIFUL DRESS. 1464 01:05:28,191 --> 01:05:30,425 OH, THANK YOU. COOL JACKET. 1465 01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:31,993 VINTAGE? YEAH, YEAH. 1466 01:05:31,995 --> 01:05:33,828 I ROCK THE VINTAGE. 1467 01:05:34,865 --> 01:05:36,464 I'M LLOYD'S MOM. 1468 01:05:36,466 --> 01:05:38,433 OH! I-IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU! 1469 01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:40,602 I'M -- I'M CARRIE. OH, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 1470 01:05:40,604 --> 01:05:43,638 YOU'RE THE GIRL TRYIN' TO STEAL MY SON AWAY FROM ME. 1471 01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,206 I'M KIDDING. 1472 01:05:45,208 --> 01:05:46,975 OH, MY GOD. 1473 01:05:46,977 --> 01:05:48,043 YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE. 1474 01:05:48,045 --> 01:05:49,611 YOU WERE LIKE, "WHAT?" 1475 01:05:49,613 --> 01:05:50,812 YEAH. PALE. 1476 01:05:50,814 --> 01:05:52,547 THAT WAS -- THAT WAS FUNNY. 1477 01:05:52,549 --> 01:05:54,149 YOU'RE BARBARA WOLF'S DAUGHTER, RIGHT? 1478 01:05:54,151 --> 01:05:56,451 YEAH. 1479 01:05:56,453 --> 01:05:58,153 "I'M BARBARA WOLF." 1480 01:05:58,155 --> 01:05:59,454 SHE KNOWS EVERYBODY. 1481 01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:01,990 DID YOU KNOW LLOYD USED TO DRESS UP 1482 01:06:01,992 --> 01:06:04,492 IN MY CLOTHES WHEN HE WAS A KID? 1483 01:06:04,494 --> 01:06:07,562 NO, I-I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 1484 01:06:07,564 --> 01:06:10,365 HERE'S THE WEIRD THING -- HIS FAVORITE DRESS OF MINE 1485 01:06:10,367 --> 01:06:12,734 WAS EXACTLY LIKE THE DRESS YOU'RE WEARING. 1486 01:06:12,736 --> 01:06:15,537 YOU DON'T SAY. I-I-I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 1487 01:06:15,539 --> 01:06:18,206 ISN'T THAT A COINKIDINK? 1488 01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:19,507 UM... KINDA CRAZY. 1489 01:06:19,509 --> 01:06:20,642 A HUGE COINKIDINK. 1490 01:06:20,644 --> 01:06:21,876 YEAH. 1491 01:06:21,878 --> 01:06:23,712 HE USED TO PUT ON THESE SHOWS 1492 01:06:23,714 --> 01:06:25,914 AND DANCE AND SING AROUND THE HOUSE. 1493 01:06:25,916 --> 01:06:27,916 IT WAS ADORABLE. WELL, I'M SURE. 1494 01:06:27,918 --> 01:06:29,684 I WOULD'VE LOVED TO HAVE SEEN IT. 1495 01:06:29,686 --> 01:06:31,319 IT SOUNDS HILARIOUS. 1496 01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:33,321 BUT LATELY HE'S NOT PUTTING ON SHOWS AROUND THE HOUSE. 1497 01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:36,858 IT'S JUST SORT OF DIFFERENT AT MY PLACE. 1498 01:06:36,860 --> 01:06:38,493 UH... 1499 01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:41,029 IT'S REALLY AS IF YOU CAME ALONG, 1500 01:06:41,031 --> 01:06:43,164 AND NOW HE'S CONFUSED. 1501 01:06:43,166 --> 01:06:47,168 UH, I'M SORRY, MRS. COOPER, 1502 01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:49,504 I-I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND. 1503 01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:53,208 IT'S LIKE HIS WHOLE LIFE, LLOYD WAS A VEGETARIAN, 1504 01:06:53,210 --> 01:06:55,777 AND NOW SUDDENLY HE LIKES BEEF. 1505 01:06:55,779 --> 01:06:58,780 WELL, CAN'T HE LIKE VEGETABLES AND BEEF? 1506 01:06:58,782 --> 01:07:00,448 OKAY. 1507 01:07:00,450 --> 01:07:03,551 WE BOTH WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR LLOYD, RIGHT? 1508 01:07:03,553 --> 01:07:05,253 WELL, OF COURSE. MRS. COOPER, 1509 01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:07,422 I THINK YOUR SON IS A WONDERFUL PERSON. 1510 01:07:07,424 --> 01:07:08,523 I-I LIKE HIM A LOT. 1511 01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:10,892 OKAY. SO LET'S DO THIS. 1512 01:07:10,894 --> 01:07:12,727 LET'S HAVE A GIRLS' SECRET. 1513 01:07:12,729 --> 01:07:14,462 A SECRET? 1514 01:07:14,464 --> 01:07:16,131 HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. MM-HMM? 1515 01:07:16,133 --> 01:07:18,400 YOU KNOW HOW SOME PEOPLE GO TO PROM TOGETHER? 1516 01:07:18,402 --> 01:07:20,368 UH-HUH. 1517 01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:24,973 SOMETIMES PEOPLE TAKE A CAB HOME. 1518 01:07:24,975 --> 01:07:26,641 OKAY? 1519 01:07:34,651 --> 01:07:37,452 AND YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL IN NEW YORK, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW. 1520 01:07:37,454 --> 01:07:39,054 YOU'RE -- YOU'RE PRETTY CUTE, 1521 01:07:39,056 --> 01:07:40,522 AND NEW YORK'S PRETTY HARD. 1522 01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:42,023 THEY'RE GONNA -- THEY'RE GONNA EAT YOU UP OUT THERE, MAN. 1523 01:07:42,025 --> 01:07:43,191 COME ON. 1524 01:07:43,193 --> 01:07:44,259 YEAH, YOU GOTTA START WORKING OUT OR SOMETHIN'. 1525 01:07:44,261 --> 01:07:45,693 I'LL BE FINE. HEY. 1526 01:07:45,695 --> 01:07:48,196 DO YOU MIND IF I TALK TO LLOYD FOR JUST A SECOND? 1527 01:07:48,198 --> 01:07:49,130 JUST A SECOND. 1528 01:07:49,132 --> 01:07:51,066 SORRY. WHAT'S UP? 1529 01:07:51,068 --> 01:07:52,600 Um, your mom was in the bathroom, 1530 01:07:52,602 --> 01:07:54,235 and she tried to pay me to get me to leave. 1531 01:07:54,237 --> 01:07:56,671 ARE YOU KIDDING? WHERE IS SHE? 1532 01:07:56,673 --> 01:07:58,840 OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1533 01:07:58,842 --> 01:08:00,575 THERE ARE A LOT OF PARENTS HERE. 1534 01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:02,677 THERE ARE PARENTS HERE CHAPERONING, SURE. 1535 01:08:02,679 --> 01:08:04,412 THERE IS NOBODY ELSE HERE 1536 01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:06,347 WHO IS SABOTAGING THEIR KID'S LIFE LIKE YOU ARE MINE. 1537 01:08:06,349 --> 01:08:07,949 THAT IS NOT TRUE! 1538 01:08:07,951 --> 01:08:09,184 SO YOU DIDN'T JUST TRY TO PAY CARRIE TO LEAVE? 1539 01:08:09,186 --> 01:08:11,319 I-I'M SORRY -- IT'S OKAY. 1540 01:08:11,321 --> 01:08:13,288 APOLOGIZE TO HER RIGHT NOW, AND GO HOME. 1541 01:08:13,290 --> 01:08:14,656 DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. 1542 01:08:14,658 --> 01:08:15,924 I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! 1543 01:08:15,926 --> 01:08:16,991 I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU! 1544 01:08:16,993 --> 01:08:18,326 YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME! 1545 01:08:18,328 --> 01:08:19,928 I AM -- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1546 01:08:19,930 --> 01:08:21,496 YOU CAN'T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. I HAVE TO BE HERE. 1547 01:08:21,498 --> 01:08:22,931 NO, I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN. I'M FINE! 1548 01:08:22,933 --> 01:08:24,766 DAN, DAN! HEY! DAN. WHO IS DAN? 1549 01:08:24,768 --> 01:08:27,502 THIS IS MY SON, LLOYD. 1550 01:08:27,504 --> 01:08:29,337 I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU. 1551 01:08:29,339 --> 01:08:30,605 DAN LOVES TO READ, HE'S A PISCES, 1552 01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:31,840 AND HE LOVES "SAILOR MOON." 1553 01:08:31,842 --> 01:08:33,475 WASN'T THAT YOUR FAVORITE SHOW? 1554 01:08:33,477 --> 01:08:34,709 I LOVE "SAILOR MOON." WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE SAILOR? 1555 01:08:34,711 --> 01:08:36,344 SAILOR MERCURY. DAN, I'M SORRY. 1556 01:08:36,346 --> 01:08:38,179 UH, YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED INTO COMING DOWN HERE. 1557 01:08:38,181 --> 01:08:39,781 MY MOM IS INSANE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE. 1558 01:08:39,783 --> 01:08:42,317 NO! MY SON IS TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON ABOUT MEDDLING, 1559 01:08:42,319 --> 01:08:43,852 BUT YOU SHOULD STAY. BECAUSE THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU, RIGHT? 1560 01:08:43,854 --> 01:08:45,520 NO -- DO YOU LIKE ITALIAN FOOD, DAN? 1561 01:08:45,522 --> 01:08:47,856 YEAH, I LOVE ITALIAN FO-- COME HERE. 1562 01:08:49,458 --> 01:08:51,659 WOW. 1563 01:08:51,661 --> 01:08:52,727 HOW WAS THAT? 1564 01:08:54,296 --> 01:08:57,699 GOOD. COME HERE. 1565 01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:18,086 UH 1566 01:09:18,088 --> 01:09:21,923 NOW, PLEASE GO HOME. YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE. 1567 01:09:21,925 --> 01:09:23,158 I -- 1568 01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:24,559 NO. COME ON, CARRIE, LET'S GO. 1569 01:09:24,561 --> 01:09:27,662 DEREK, LISTEN. 1570 01:09:27,664 --> 01:09:29,531 I AM SO SORRY. 1571 01:09:29,533 --> 01:09:31,566 I HAVE BEEN LYING TO YOU THIS WHOLE TIME. 1572 01:09:31,568 --> 01:09:33,935 MY MOM SUBMITTED ME FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. 1573 01:09:33,937 --> 01:09:35,370 I DO NOT DESERVE IT. 1574 01:09:35,372 --> 01:09:36,604 YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY WHO DOES. 1575 01:09:36,606 --> 01:09:37,872 I'M REALLY SORRY. WAIT. 1576 01:09:37,874 --> 01:09:39,340 WHAT? 1577 01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:42,844 ARE YOU TELLING ME... YOU'RE NOT GAY? 1578 01:09:42,846 --> 01:09:44,879 I DON'T KNOW. I REALLY DON'T KNOW. 1579 01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:46,714 HONESTLY, I 1580 01:09:46,716 --> 01:09:49,384 WHY IS EVERYBODY SO INTENT ON PUTTING A LABEL ON ME? 1581 01:09:49,386 --> 01:09:51,719 I HAVE NO IDEA IF I'M GAY OR STRAIGHT. 1582 01:09:51,721 --> 01:09:53,388 I'D NEVER EVEN KISSED ANYBODY 1583 01:09:53,390 --> 01:09:55,456 UNTIL ABOUT 30 SECONDS AGO, OKAY? 1584 01:09:55,458 --> 01:09:57,225 I DON'T KNOW. IS THAT ALL RIGHT? 1585 01:09:57,227 --> 01:09:58,359 GOOD NIGHT. COME ON. 1586 01:10:13,542 --> 01:10:15,410 LLOYD! YES? 1587 01:10:15,412 --> 01:10:17,212 YOU CAN JUST KISS NEW YORK GOODBYE 1588 01:10:17,214 --> 01:10:18,446 BECAUSE I CAN'T PAY FOR IT. 1589 01:10:18,448 --> 01:10:20,148 I CANNOT PAY FOR IT. 1590 01:10:20,150 --> 01:10:22,884 AND YOU JUST MADE IT COMPLETELY CLEAR YOU DON'T WANT MY HELP. 1591 01:10:22,886 --> 01:10:25,787 I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP. NO, I REALLY DON'T. 1592 01:10:25,789 --> 01:10:27,755 IF I WANNA GO TO NYU, 1593 01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:28,923 I WILL SAVE UP THE MONEY ON MY OWN 1594 01:10:28,925 --> 01:10:30,325 AND I WILL GET MYSELF THERE. 1595 01:10:30,327 --> 01:10:32,393 IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT NYU. I DON'T CARE ABOUT NYU. 1596 01:10:32,395 --> 01:10:35,496 I JUST WANTED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU AS I COULD. 1597 01:10:40,736 --> 01:10:43,271 WELL, NOW YOU ALL KNOW ME. 1598 01:10:43,273 --> 01:10:48,076 I'M PRINCIPAL MACKIE, AND, UH, WELL, I'D JUST LIKE TO 1599 01:10:48,078 --> 01:10:50,678 WELCOME ALL YOU WOODBRIDGE STUDENTS, 1600 01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:51,913 UH, TO OUR PROM. 1601 01:10:51,915 --> 01:10:53,748 AND NOW, 1602 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:58,686 BARBARA WOLF WILL ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS OF PROM COURT! 1603 01:11:05,794 --> 01:11:08,329 I KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMETHING 1604 01:11:08,331 --> 01:11:10,265 THAT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR -- 1605 01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:14,035 WHO OUR PROM KING AND QUEEN ARE TONIGHT! 1606 01:11:14,037 --> 01:11:16,971 HERE WE GO. 1607 01:11:16,973 --> 01:11:19,874 OH, MY GOSH! 1608 01:11:19,876 --> 01:11:24,345 MY OWN BABY, CARRIE WOLF, IS PROM QUEEN! 1609 01:11:24,347 --> 01:11:26,648 OH, I'M SO PROUD OF HER! 1610 01:11:26,650 --> 01:11:28,816 CARRIE WOLF AND... 1611 01:11:28,818 --> 01:11:32,787 PROM KING IS LLOYD COOPER? 1612 01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:36,724 YEAH-HA-HA-HAH! WHOO! 1613 01:11:36,726 --> 01:11:38,893 CARRIE? 1614 01:11:38,895 --> 01:11:41,229 THEY LEFT. 1615 01:11:41,231 --> 01:11:46,534 SON OF A MOTHER SHH-ACKIN' SON MY MOTHER F-FIST IN THE -- 1616 01:11:48,004 --> 01:11:49,671 OH, IT'S FINE. 1617 01:11:49,673 --> 01:11:51,873 OUR WINNERS. 1618 01:11:51,875 --> 01:11:53,708 OH, IT'S ALL... 1619 01:11:56,146 --> 01:11:58,413 YES. OH, YES. 1620 01:11:58,415 --> 01:12:00,248 BARBARA WOLF SAYS, 1621 01:12:00,250 --> 01:12:04,752 "ENJOY YOUR STARRY, STARRY MAGICAL NIGHT." 1622 01:12:04,754 --> 01:12:07,655 DANCE, SHOO, GO EVERYONE, DANCE! 1623 01:12:28,411 --> 01:12:30,745 WHAT, I'M YOUR MOTHER! 1624 01:12:30,747 --> 01:12:31,946 I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES! 1625 01:12:31,948 --> 01:12:33,348 LET ME TIE YOUR SHOES. 1626 01:12:33,350 --> 01:12:34,782 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU... 1627 01:12:34,784 --> 01:12:36,384 ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? 1628 01:12:36,386 --> 01:12:37,685 LET ME DO UP THAT SHIRT FOR YOU. 1629 01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,187 WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST KISS? 1630 01:12:39,189 --> 01:12:40,722 I LOVE YOU. I'M NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU. 1631 01:12:40,724 --> 01:12:42,090 DO YOU...DUST? 1632 01:12:42,092 --> 01:12:45,360 LLOYD, ARE YOU GAY? 1633 01:13:55,597 --> 01:13:56,864 YOU READY? 1634 01:13:56,866 --> 01:13:58,766 SO READY. 1635 01:13:58,768 --> 01:14:00,935 ALL RIGHT. 1636 01:14:04,941 --> 01:14:07,508 HEY! WHAT'S SHE DOIN' HERE? 1637 01:14:07,510 --> 01:14:09,610 WOW. 1638 01:14:13,949 --> 01:14:18,019 YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST GONNA LET YOU GO WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE? 1639 01:14:18,021 --> 01:14:20,154 COME HERE. 1640 01:14:20,156 --> 01:14:23,391 OH, I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 1641 01:14:23,393 --> 01:14:24,725 I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO. 1642 01:14:24,727 --> 01:14:27,361 HEY, LISTEN, THANK YOU. 1643 01:14:27,363 --> 01:14:28,963 FOR WHAT? 1644 01:14:28,965 --> 01:14:31,132 FOR BEING MY FRIEND, REALLY. 1645 01:14:31,134 --> 01:14:33,201 I WISH IT HAPPENED SOONER, BUT... 1646 01:14:33,203 --> 01:14:35,570 BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, RIGHT? YEAH. 1647 01:14:36,872 --> 01:14:38,539 I, UM -- I GOT YOU SOMETHING. 1648 01:14:38,541 --> 01:14:39,907 OH! 1649 01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:43,578 YES. LITTLE GOING-AWAY PRESENT. 1650 01:14:43,580 --> 01:14:45,980 I'VE, UM -- I'VE BEEN SAVING UP. 1651 01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:48,049 N-NEW YORK CITY IS, LIKE, SUPER SUPER EXPENSIVE. 1652 01:14:48,051 --> 01:14:50,084 OH, MY GOSH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 1653 01:14:53,890 --> 01:14:55,823 I CAN'T -- I CAN'T TAKE THIS. YES! YES! 1654 01:14:55,825 --> 01:15:00,061 IT'S YOURS. AND THE NEXT TIME I FIND MYSELF IN NEW YORK CITY, 1655 01:15:00,063 --> 01:15:02,096 YOU CAN PAY ME BACK BY LETTING ME CRASH AT YOUR PLACE, 1656 01:15:02,098 --> 01:15:03,531 FOR LIFE. 1657 01:15:03,533 --> 01:15:04,899 YOU KNOW I GOT THE SCHOLARSHIP, RIGHT? 1658 01:15:04,901 --> 01:15:08,336 W-WHAT? WAIT, HOW? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? 1659 01:15:08,338 --> 01:15:10,838 WELL, APPARENTLY, BISEXUAL OR QUESTIONING STILL QUALIFIES. 1660 01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:15,076 DEREK WAS SUPER-IMPRESSED THAT HE WAS HONEST, 1661 01:15:15,078 --> 01:15:16,777 SO THAT CLINCHED THE DEAL. 1662 01:15:16,779 --> 01:15:19,113 DOING THE RIGHT THING PAID OFF, WHO KNEW? 1663 01:15:19,115 --> 01:15:20,748 LLOYD 1664 01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:22,283 OH, MY GOD! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. 1665 01:15:22,285 --> 01:15:23,751 HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, PLEASE. COME ON. 1666 01:15:23,753 --> 01:15:26,053 NO, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? TAKE IT, YOU KNOW? 1667 01:15:26,055 --> 01:15:27,788 I-I STILL WANT A PLACE TO STAY, 1668 01:15:27,790 --> 01:15:29,957 AND THE SCHOLARSHIP WON'T COVER EVERYTHING, SO... 1669 01:15:29,959 --> 01:15:31,893 YOU ARE JUST THE BEST. YOU'RE JUST THE BEST. 1670 01:15:31,895 --> 01:15:33,861 COME HERE. MM. AH. 1671 01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:35,129 ALL RIGHT, GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I TAKE YOU WITH ME. 1672 01:15:35,131 --> 01:15:36,864 MM, I WISH YOU WOULD. 1673 01:15:40,602 --> 01:15:42,937 YOU ALL RIGHT? 1674 01:15:42,939 --> 01:15:44,138 YEAH. ARE YOU CRYING? 1675 01:15:44,140 --> 01:15:45,806 MAYBE. 1676 01:15:45,808 --> 01:15:48,876 WHAT'S WRONG WITH A DAD BEIN' SAD HIS KID'S GOIN' AWAY? 1677 01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:50,912 COME HERE. YOU'RE GOIN'. 1678 01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:52,613 YOU'RE GONNA FLY. I LOVE YOU. 1679 01:15:52,615 --> 01:15:54,148 I LOVE YOU, TOO, DAD. 1680 01:15:54,150 --> 01:15:56,884 YOU ARE GONNA KICK ASS IN THAT TOWN. 1681 01:15:58,655 --> 01:16:00,254 YOU ARE JUST -- YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT. 1682 01:16:00,256 --> 01:16:02,256 IT'S SUCH A COOL PLACE. CAN'T WAIT. 1683 01:16:02,258 --> 01:16:04,725 YOU ARE GONNA HAVE THE MOST FUN. I WILL. 1684 01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:05,960 WAIT! 1685 01:16:05,962 --> 01:16:07,962 I'M RIGHT HERE, MOM! 1686 01:16:12,968 --> 01:16:15,436 A COUPLE THINGS. 1687 01:16:15,438 --> 01:16:18,139 I GOTTA GO OR I'M GONNA MISS MY FLIGHT, OKAY? I KNOW, I KNOW. HERE. 1688 01:16:18,141 --> 01:16:19,407 OKAY. 1689 01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:20,575 DID YOU PACK YOUR I.D.? YEAH. 1690 01:16:20,577 --> 01:16:22,009 WARM CLOTHES? YES. 1691 01:16:22,011 --> 01:16:23,277 IT'S WINTER THERE, YOU KNOW. YEAH. 1692 01:16:23,279 --> 01:16:24,278 OKAY. I'M GOOD. 1693 01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,614 I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 1694 01:16:26,616 --> 01:16:28,783 I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO. 1695 01:16:28,785 --> 01:16:31,185 YEAH? YEAH. 1696 01:16:31,187 --> 01:16:33,454 EVEN ALL YOUR WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE STORIES. 1697 01:16:33,456 --> 01:16:36,324 COME HERE. 1698 01:16:38,026 --> 01:16:39,327 I LOVE YOU, MOM. 1699 01:16:39,329 --> 01:16:41,028 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1700 01:16:41,030 --> 01:16:42,763 I LOVE YOU. 1701 01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:45,132 OKAY, WE'RE GONNA LET GO, OKAY? OKAY. 1702 01:16:45,134 --> 01:16:47,535 ON THREE, TWO, ONE. LET'S DO THREE, TWO, ONE, READY? 1703 01:16:47,537 --> 01:16:48,936 THREE, TWO, ONE. OKAY. 1704 01:16:48,938 --> 01:16:50,371 GOOD. GOOD. OH. OH, I WASN'T READY. 1705 01:16:50,373 --> 01:16:51,973 OKAY, THAT'S OKAY. READY? 1706 01:16:51,975 --> 01:16:54,208 THREE, TWO, ONE. 1707 01:16:55,711 --> 01:16:58,112 SEE? THERE YOU GO. 1708 01:16:58,114 --> 01:16:59,513 I LOVE YOU, MOM. 1709 01:16:59,515 --> 01:17:01,949 OKAY. 1710 01:17:03,219 --> 01:17:05,286 HEY. HUH? 1711 01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:07,355 YOU DON'T HATE ME, HUH? 1712 01:17:07,357 --> 01:17:09,290 NO. 1713 01:17:09,292 --> 01:17:11,292 OKAY. HE DOESN'T HATE ME. 1714 01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:13,294 GOOD. 1715 01:17:13,296 --> 01:17:14,729 KEEP AN EYE ON HER, ALL RIGHT, CARRIE? 1716 01:17:14,731 --> 01:17:16,731 ABSOLUTELY. 1717 01:17:16,733 --> 01:17:17,999 BYE, LLOYD. 1718 01:17:18,001 --> 01:17:19,967 BYE. BYE. 1719 01:17:39,321 --> 01:17:41,255 OKAY. 1720 01:18:36,211 --> 01:18:37,311 SURPRISE! 1721 01:18:37,313 --> 01:18:38,612 HEY! 1722 01:18:38,614 --> 01:18:40,281 HI! HI. 1723 01:18:40,283 --> 01:18:42,216 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 1724 01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:44,785 MY BIRTHDAY'S NOT FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS. YOU KNOW THAT. 1725 01:18:44,787 --> 01:18:46,721 YEAH, BUT THE SECURITY GUARD 1726 01:18:46,723 --> 01:18:48,956 I HAD TO BRIBE DOWNSTAIRS DOES NOT. 1727 01:18:48,958 --> 01:18:50,891 UH-HUH. 1728 01:18:50,893 --> 01:18:52,259 HI. 1729 01:18:52,261 --> 01:18:54,929 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN NEW YORK CITY? 1730 01:18:54,931 --> 01:18:57,665 WELL, I HAD THESE FREQUENT FLYER MILES I HAD TO USE, 1731 01:18:57,667 --> 01:18:59,166 SO I JUST THOUGHT, "I'LL COME SEE MY SON!" 1732 01:18:59,168 --> 01:19:00,801 YOU DON'T HAVE FREQUENT FLYER MILES, THOUGH. 1733 01:19:00,803 --> 01:19:03,003 NO, I DON'T. NO. 1734 01:19:03,005 --> 01:19:04,238 BUT YOUR DAD DOES. 1735 01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:07,308 AND, UH, HE'S DOWNSTAIRS. 1736 01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:09,143 RIGHT NOW? YEAH. 1737 01:19:09,145 --> 01:19:11,679 'CAUSE, UM, WE'RE HERE TOGETHER. 1738 01:19:11,681 --> 01:19:14,315 REALLY? YEAH. 1739 01:19:14,317 --> 01:19:15,916 MOM, THAT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR. 1740 01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:16,984 IT'S OKAY, HUH? 1741 01:19:16,986 --> 01:19:19,520 THAT'S GREAT, YEAH! OKAY. 1742 01:19:19,522 --> 01:19:21,689 UM, SO DO YOU WANNA HAVE DINNER? 1743 01:19:21,691 --> 01:19:23,324 NO, YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT. REALLY? 1744 01:19:23,326 --> 01:19:24,525 YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE! 1745 01:19:24,527 --> 01:19:25,960 OKAY. WE MADE A RESERVATION AND -- 1746 01:19:25,962 --> 01:19:27,461 PERFECT! YEAH, OF COURSE. 1747 01:19:27,463 --> 01:19:30,598 OKAY. IT'S REALLY GREAT IN HERE. 1748 01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:34,435 RESERVATIONS FOR HOW MANY? 1749 01:19:36,471 --> 01:19:38,839 MOM? 141697

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.