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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:33,309 --> 00:01:37,302 Have you ever confused a dream with life? 2 00:01:39,589 --> 00:01:43,218 Or stolen something when you have the cash? 3 00:01:47,069 --> 00:01:49,139 Have you ever been blue? 4 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:55,298 Or thought your train moving while sitting still? 5 00:01:57,389 --> 00:01:59,698 Maybe I was just crazy. 6 00:02:01,509 --> 00:02:03,898 Maybe it was the '60s. 7 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,979 Or maybe I was just a girl... 8 00:02:08,469 --> 00:02:09,788 ...interrupted. 9 00:02:10,149 --> 00:02:12,060 Put her in restraints. Withdraw blood. 10 00:02:12,269 --> 00:02:13,065 Hold on. 11 00:02:13,269 --> 00:02:15,737 Give her five milligrams of Valium, IV. 12 00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,940 Turn her head so she doesn't aspirate. 13 00:02:19,309 --> 00:02:20,185 There you go. 14 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,260 Aspirin fragments and vodka, I think. 15 00:02:23,549 --> 00:02:26,302 Don't tell me what you think. Take it to the lab. 16 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,465 You should check my hand. There's no bones in it. 17 00:02:30,669 --> 00:02:31,579 A wrist banger. 18 00:02:32,589 --> 00:02:36,468 - Is that why you did this? - And other things. 19 00:02:37,109 --> 00:02:39,020 Her parents are on the way. 20 00:02:39,749 --> 00:02:41,785 Sometimes it's hard... 21 00:02:42,389 --> 00:02:44,459 ...for me to stay in one... 22 00:02:44,909 --> 00:02:46,262 ...place. 23 00:02:46,469 --> 00:02:48,744 Susanna... 24 00:02:48,949 --> 00:02:51,383 ...if you had no bones in your hand... 25 00:02:52,549 --> 00:02:54,505 ...how did you pick up the aspirin? 26 00:03:04,509 --> 00:03:06,898 What is my mother doing? 27 00:03:07,189 --> 00:03:09,100 Would you answer my question, please? 28 00:03:09,909 --> 00:03:14,699 How did you pick up the aspirin if you had no bones in your hand? 29 00:03:15,869 --> 00:03:18,019 By then, they'd come back. 30 00:03:21,189 --> 00:03:22,417 I see. 31 00:03:23,589 --> 00:03:26,103 No, you don't. 32 00:03:26,389 --> 00:03:27,504 Well... 33 00:03:29,229 --> 00:03:30,742 ...indulge me, then. 34 00:03:31,869 --> 00:03:33,507 Explain it to me. 35 00:03:36,069 --> 00:03:37,502 Explain what? 36 00:03:37,789 --> 00:03:42,704 Explain to a doctor that the laws of physics can be suspended? 37 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,901 That what goes up may not come down? 38 00:03:50,869 --> 00:03:52,302 Explain... 39 00:03:52,549 --> 00:03:54,824 ...that time... 40 00:03:55,029 --> 00:03:58,101 ...can move backwards and forwards... 41 00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:01,221 ...and now to then and back again... 42 00:04:01,789 --> 00:04:03,666 ...and you can't control it? 43 00:04:04,389 --> 00:04:06,061 Why can't you control it? 44 00:04:09,309 --> 00:04:10,219 What? 45 00:04:10,669 --> 00:04:12,466 Why can't you control time? 46 00:04:31,389 --> 00:04:35,507 Where were you? Everyone is here. Come on. 47 00:04:38,989 --> 00:04:42,026 - Mary, you remember Susanna. - Yes, I do. 48 00:04:45,709 --> 00:04:46,937 You're wearing this? 49 00:04:47,189 --> 00:04:50,420 I didn't know it was so early. I would've changed. 50 00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:53,137 Everybody, look who's here. 51 00:04:53,829 --> 00:04:55,865 - Happy birthday, Dad. - Thanks, sweetie. 52 00:04:56,909 --> 00:04:58,786 I'm sorry, I want to say hi to her. 53 00:04:58,989 --> 00:05:03,904 Sweetie, would you hold this for me? I just want to say hi to Susanna. 54 00:05:04,389 --> 00:05:05,902 Excuse me. Susanna! 55 00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:09,185 - Susanna! - Professor Gilcrest's wife. 56 00:05:09,429 --> 00:05:11,499 Barbara Gilcrest. You remember me? 57 00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:13,939 Bonnie's mom. I'm Bonnie's mom. 58 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,339 Your skin is so beautiful. 59 00:05:16,629 --> 00:05:18,426 Wasn't Bonnie in your lit. class? 60 00:05:19,309 --> 00:05:21,106 Yeah. How is she doing? 61 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,705 She just got accepted to Radcliffe. 62 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,428 What a conundrum. 63 00:05:25,669 --> 00:05:27,102 I'm a Wellesley girl, myself. 64 00:05:27,309 --> 00:05:30,745 But I think young women should make up their own mind, don't you? 65 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,707 Are you stoned? 66 00:05:40,109 --> 00:05:41,701 Do you smoke pot? 67 00:05:44,189 --> 00:05:45,907 Take LSD? 68 00:05:49,269 --> 00:05:50,668 No drugs? 69 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,500 How do you feel right now? 70 00:06:01,989 --> 00:06:03,308 I... 71 00:06:04,749 --> 00:06:06,501 ...don't know. 72 00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:09,100 I don't know what I'm feeling. 73 00:06:12,389 --> 00:06:14,300 You need a rest. 74 00:06:15,389 --> 00:06:17,425 Well, I'll go home, take a nap. 75 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:21,582 No. You need to go somewhere where you can get a genuine rest. 76 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,107 And you're very lucky. 77 00:06:24,349 --> 00:06:26,658 The best place for someone like you... 78 00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:29,543 ...is less than a half an hour from here. 79 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,700 You don't mean Claymoore? 80 00:06:33,789 --> 00:06:35,620 Four days ago... 81 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:39,219 ...you chased a bottle of aspirin with a bottle of vodka. 82 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,100 I had a headache. 83 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,579 Your father is a friend of mine. 84 00:06:51,109 --> 00:06:54,146 He's a colleague. He asked me to see you... 85 00:06:54,349 --> 00:06:57,102 ...even though I don't do this anymore. 86 00:06:57,789 --> 00:07:01,304 You're hurting everyone around you. 87 00:07:02,749 --> 00:07:07,504 Now, Claymoore is a topnotch place. 88 00:07:08,189 --> 00:07:10,339 A lot of people go there. 89 00:07:10,589 --> 00:07:11,658 Even writers. 90 00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,262 Like you. 91 00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:18,102 Great. 92 00:07:31,389 --> 00:07:34,665 Yes, I'd like a cab at 1240 Milford, please. 93 00:07:36,109 --> 00:07:37,827 My mother's here. 94 00:07:38,029 --> 00:07:41,305 It'll be less emotional if we do it this way. 95 00:07:41,509 --> 00:07:44,103 Your parents and I talked about it. 96 00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:22,657 Now make sure, no stops. 97 00:09:17,309 --> 00:09:19,300 Susanna, you there? 98 00:09:24,989 --> 00:09:26,741 I want to see you again. 99 00:09:26,949 --> 00:09:29,099 It was a one-time thing, okay? 100 00:09:29,349 --> 00:09:30,941 Just come to my office tonight. 101 00:09:31,149 --> 00:09:32,582 We're opening the presents! 102 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,939 Tell them you're going to a friend's. 103 00:09:35,149 --> 00:09:36,628 Who should I tell first? 104 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:39,588 My parents, the department chairman, or your wife? 105 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:40,625 No. 106 00:09:47,189 --> 00:09:48,702 What did you do? 107 00:09:50,069 --> 00:09:51,707 What did you do? 108 00:09:53,589 --> 00:09:55,102 Excuse me? 109 00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,067 Well, you look normal. 110 00:10:01,709 --> 00:10:03,301 I'm sad. 111 00:10:04,589 --> 00:10:06,500 Well, everyone's sad. 112 00:10:07,989 --> 00:10:09,786 I see things. 113 00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:12,021 You mean, like tripping? 114 00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:15,743 Kind of. 115 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:19,343 Then they should put John Lennon away, huh? 116 00:10:21,389 --> 00:10:23,505 I'm not John Lennon. 117 00:11:07,949 --> 00:11:09,905 Don't get too comfortable. 118 00:11:19,669 --> 00:11:20,863 Shouldn't my parents...? 119 00:11:21,069 --> 00:11:22,821 You have to sign them, Miss Kaysen. 120 00:11:23,069 --> 00:11:25,742 You're over 18. This is your decision. 121 00:11:37,509 --> 00:11:39,181 I didn't try to kill myself. 122 00:11:41,589 --> 00:11:45,548 That's the kind of thing you talk about in therapy, honey. Not here. 123 00:11:50,789 --> 00:11:52,222 Miss Kaysen? 124 00:11:53,149 --> 00:11:55,902 You have the distinction of being the only senior... 125 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,946 ...not going on to college. 126 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,820 May I ask what you plan to do? 127 00:12:05,989 --> 00:12:08,344 I plan to write. 128 00:12:10,269 --> 00:12:11,941 Well, what do you plan to do? 129 00:12:13,389 --> 00:12:18,019 Look, I'm not gonna burn my bra or drop acid or go march on Washington... 130 00:12:18,229 --> 00:12:21,187 ...I just don't want to end up like my mother. 131 00:12:21,709 --> 00:12:23,825 Women today have more choices than that. 132 00:12:25,069 --> 00:12:26,422 No, they don't. 133 00:12:26,949 --> 00:12:28,302 And here. 134 00:12:30,309 --> 00:12:32,698 You forgot one, dear. Here. 135 00:12:36,069 --> 00:12:40,824 Speaking for Dr. Wick and myself, welcome to Claymoore, Susanna. 136 00:12:44,349 --> 00:12:47,386 This is the women's ward, also known as South Bell. 137 00:12:47,629 --> 00:12:51,304 This is where you'll be staying, and this is where I work. 138 00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:54,377 All right, this is the second floor. 139 00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:58,298 I need you to stay close to me because it's easy to get lost here. 140 00:13:03,589 --> 00:13:05,500 This is our ward. 141 00:13:07,949 --> 00:13:11,464 All right, let's start with this room. 142 00:13:13,469 --> 00:13:15,699 This is the art room. 143 00:13:17,269 --> 00:13:18,338 Polly. 144 00:13:18,869 --> 00:13:19,984 What are you doing here? 145 00:13:20,909 --> 00:13:23,377 I feel very musical today. 146 00:13:23,629 --> 00:13:26,302 - Can I just, for just a second? - Not today, honey. 147 00:13:43,869 --> 00:13:47,305 Margie, Polly was in the art room by herself. 148 00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:49,101 I'm sorry, Val. 149 00:13:52,589 --> 00:13:54,102 The living room. 150 00:13:54,869 --> 00:13:56,700 Everyone hates it. 151 00:14:06,389 --> 00:14:08,459 And these are the phones. 152 00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:11,701 To make a call, pick up the handle, tell the nurse... 153 00:14:11,909 --> 00:14:13,547 ...she'll connect you. 154 00:14:13,789 --> 00:14:17,225 This is the nurses' station, which is self-explanatory... 155 00:14:17,469 --> 00:14:20,506 ...and this is the TV room, where everyone hangs out. 156 00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:22,665 I want my fucking clothes! 157 00:14:22,909 --> 00:14:26,504 Then you'll have to eat something, won't you? 158 00:14:27,989 --> 00:14:29,104 The check-in board. 159 00:14:29,349 --> 00:14:31,943 You check in here to take a walk on the grounds. 160 00:14:32,149 --> 00:14:33,787 Oh, lordy, pick a bale of hay 161 00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:36,907 Gotta jump down, spin around Pick a bale of cotton 162 00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:39,304 Jump down, spin around Pick a bale of hay 163 00:14:40,469 --> 00:14:42,107 She thinks that bothers me. 164 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,988 You're an "R," which means "restricted to the ward." 165 00:14:45,229 --> 00:14:47,663 But soon you'll move up to two-to-ones... 166 00:14:47,869 --> 00:14:50,019 ...which is two nurses to every patient. 167 00:14:50,269 --> 00:14:53,306 I won't be here that long. I'm just here for a rest. 168 00:14:53,549 --> 00:14:57,303 It's all right. Everybody gets the same tour free of charge. 169 00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:06,066 Georgina, this is Susanna, your new roommate. 170 00:15:06,309 --> 00:15:08,106 Oh, great. Hi. 171 00:15:08,669 --> 00:15:11,229 You're lucky. Georgina's an excellent roommate. 172 00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:13,064 Why, thank you, Valerie. 173 00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:14,902 You're welcome. 174 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:18,349 The cops are bringing Lisa. She was at the park. 175 00:15:21,189 --> 00:15:24,545 Will you excuse me? I have business I have to attend to. 176 00:15:24,989 --> 00:15:28,584 Georgina, will you take Susanna to the dining room in a half-hour? 177 00:15:29,989 --> 00:15:31,661 Yes means yes, Georgina. 178 00:15:32,109 --> 00:15:33,701 I know. 179 00:15:49,589 --> 00:15:50,658 Groovy box. 180 00:15:51,989 --> 00:15:53,308 That. 181 00:15:54,069 --> 00:15:55,900 Yeah, they're French. 182 00:15:56,149 --> 00:15:58,902 The French Resistance smoked them, I think. 183 00:16:05,789 --> 00:16:07,666 - Read this? 184 00:16:09,189 --> 00:16:12,101 No. I saw the movie a bunch of times, though. 185 00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:14,740 The movie's based on the first book. 186 00:16:14,949 --> 00:16:18,737 I read that one too, but there were no ruby slippers in it originally. 187 00:16:18,949 --> 00:16:22,021 They added that. This takes place afterwards. 188 00:16:22,269 --> 00:16:25,102 Dorothy doesn't really have such a big part in this one. 189 00:16:28,949 --> 00:16:30,701 Fucking pig. 190 00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:34,708 Get off me! 191 00:16:46,789 --> 00:16:47,619 Thanks, Gretta. 192 00:16:48,829 --> 00:16:50,945 Hey, Dais, let anyone in your room yet? 193 00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:57,302 Hey, girls! Hey, sexy. 194 00:17:00,909 --> 00:17:02,706 It's good to be home. 195 00:17:05,869 --> 00:17:07,860 - Hey, Torch. - Hey, Lisa. 196 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,185 - You miss me? - Not much. 197 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,708 Get her to her room. Gretta will do the strip search. 198 00:17:15,549 --> 00:17:17,028 Who's that with Georgie-girl? 199 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,339 - Where's Jamie? - I can't deal with this. 200 00:17:19,589 --> 00:17:21,500 Don't give me a hard time. 201 00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:23,822 Where is she? Where's Jamie? 202 00:17:28,389 --> 00:17:29,788 Who are you? 203 00:17:30,029 --> 00:17:33,499 Her name is Susanna, Lisa. She smokes French cigarettes. 204 00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:36,986 - Why is all your shit on her bed? - Open the damn door! 205 00:17:37,229 --> 00:17:38,628 Why? Where's Jamie? 206 00:17:38,869 --> 00:17:41,702 I don't know what you're talking about! 207 00:17:43,469 --> 00:17:45,300 What the hell are you doing, Lisa? 208 00:17:46,949 --> 00:17:47,938 Back off her. 209 00:17:48,549 --> 00:17:50,744 Back off! You've been gone for two weeks. 210 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:53,742 A lot of shit has gone down. Back off! 211 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:55,104 How'd she do it? 212 00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:56,903 How'd she do it? 213 00:17:57,749 --> 00:17:59,262 How did she do it, Valerie? 214 00:17:59,509 --> 00:18:01,261 Get the fuck off me! 215 00:18:01,509 --> 00:18:04,899 You weak people. You're all weak fucking people! You're victims! 216 00:18:05,149 --> 00:18:06,582 You people are fucking sick! 217 00:18:06,829 --> 00:18:09,468 What? No, no. Val, please. Please! 218 00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:15,307 Get her legs. 219 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,425 Get her feet! 220 00:18:17,669 --> 00:18:18,738 - I got her. - Get off! 221 00:18:21,589 --> 00:18:22,908 Help! 222 00:18:28,589 --> 00:18:30,500 We have got to cut those nails again. 223 00:18:36,269 --> 00:18:40,103 My God! What the hell was that? 224 00:18:40,589 --> 00:18:42,181 That was Lisa. 225 00:18:43,509 --> 00:18:45,545 And Jamie was your roommate? 226 00:18:45,789 --> 00:18:47,586 Jamie was Lisa's best friend. 227 00:18:48,309 --> 00:18:50,425 She was sad because Lisa ran away... 228 00:18:50,669 --> 00:18:52,739 ...so she hung herself with a volleyball net. 229 00:19:02,549 --> 00:19:04,107 Meds! 230 00:19:06,469 --> 00:19:08,266 Cynthia Crowley. 231 00:19:09,669 --> 00:19:11,705 Susanna Kaysen. 232 00:19:13,589 --> 00:19:15,420 Susanna Kaysen. 233 00:19:17,469 --> 00:19:19,983 I am Mrs. McWilley, and these are for you. 234 00:19:20,189 --> 00:19:22,464 - What are they? - They'll help you sleep. 235 00:19:23,189 --> 00:19:25,578 - It's 10:30. I'm not gonna... - For chrissake. 236 00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:28,542 You can discuss it in the morning with your doctor. 237 00:19:28,789 --> 00:19:31,019 In the meantime, we'll agree to disagree. 238 00:19:34,589 --> 00:19:36,659 Take them here. Have some water. 239 00:19:39,829 --> 00:19:41,706 Polly Clark. 240 00:19:42,109 --> 00:19:43,906 You can go now. 241 00:19:48,749 --> 00:19:50,023 Teresa McCullian. 242 00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:57,700 Daisy Randone. 243 00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:03,299 Angela Coury. 244 00:20:06,389 --> 00:20:08,505 Jacqueline Lights. 245 00:20:11,069 --> 00:20:12,900 Donna Smith. 246 00:20:50,869 --> 00:20:52,587 Ryan Reed... 247 00:20:53,189 --> 00:20:56,261 ...yearbook editor and member of the honour society. 248 00:20:56,509 --> 00:20:58,579 Heading off to Tulane University. 249 00:20:58,789 --> 00:21:00,302 Congratulations, son. 250 00:21:00,989 --> 00:21:05,904 Andrea Jacobs, president of the French club and honour society... 251 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,704 ...and on her way to Sarah Lawrence. 252 00:21:11,389 --> 00:21:13,061 Susanna Kaysen. 253 00:21:14,389 --> 00:21:17,062 - What is she doing? - Some kind of a stunt. 254 00:21:26,989 --> 00:21:28,900 Wake up, freak. 255 00:21:31,149 --> 00:21:31,979 Checks. 256 00:21:50,989 --> 00:21:53,105 Why do they do that? 257 00:21:54,389 --> 00:21:56,505 They're just doing checks. 258 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:59,707 They'll space them out after you've been here awhile. 259 00:22:04,269 --> 00:22:07,306 That girl, Polly. 260 00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:10,306 How did she get all? 261 00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,541 When she was 10... 262 00:22:13,869 --> 00:22:16,941 ...her mother told her she had to give away her puppy... 263 00:22:17,149 --> 00:22:19,868 ...because he was giving her a rash. 264 00:22:20,349 --> 00:22:23,182 And so Polly went... 265 00:22:23,989 --> 00:22:26,503 ...and found her father's gas can... 266 00:22:27,029 --> 00:22:30,578 ...and she poured it all over where she was getting the rash. 267 00:22:31,589 --> 00:22:33,102 And then... 268 00:22:35,109 --> 00:22:37,020 ...she lit a match. 269 00:22:38,709 --> 00:22:40,381 Oh, my God. 270 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:47,559 Well, what about you? Why are you here? 271 00:22:48,689 --> 00:22:51,123 Pseudologia fantastica. 272 00:22:52,769 --> 00:22:54,202 What's that? 273 00:22:56,449 --> 00:22:59,009 I'm a pathological liar. 274 00:23:51,569 --> 00:23:53,605 - What are your plans this fall? - What? 275 00:23:53,809 --> 00:23:55,800 What are your plans this fall? 276 00:23:56,009 --> 00:23:57,488 I don't have any. 277 00:23:57,689 --> 00:24:00,078 I'm gonna be an ethnobotanist. 278 00:24:00,409 --> 00:24:03,048 Full scholarship to M.I.T. 279 00:24:03,289 --> 00:24:05,086 I'm going to join the Krishnas. 280 00:24:05,289 --> 00:24:08,804 Hare Krishna? That's interesting, actually. 281 00:24:09,249 --> 00:24:11,001 I was kidding. 282 00:24:26,249 --> 00:24:28,001 You're Susanna, right? 283 00:24:29,889 --> 00:24:32,323 I'm Toby. Andrea Jacobs' brother. 284 00:24:34,009 --> 00:24:36,000 I was at graduation. 285 00:24:41,449 --> 00:24:43,167 You're pretty when you sleep. 286 00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:47,806 Checks. It's 7:00. 287 00:25:01,609 --> 00:25:05,045 I mean, everybody thinks about it at some point. 288 00:25:06,889 --> 00:25:08,607 How would you do it? 289 00:25:10,769 --> 00:25:12,248 I don't know. 290 00:25:12,969 --> 00:25:16,006 I guess I haven't really thought about it. 291 00:25:20,689 --> 00:25:23,044 See, once it's in your head, though... 292 00:25:25,009 --> 00:25:26,442 ...you become this... 293 00:25:27,369 --> 00:25:28,882 ...strange, new breed. 294 00:25:29,849 --> 00:25:34,365 A life form that loves to fantasize about its own demise. 295 00:25:34,609 --> 00:25:37,726 Make a stupid remark, kill yourself. 296 00:25:38,009 --> 00:25:42,241 You like the movie, you live. You miss the train, kill yourself. 297 00:25:43,849 --> 00:25:44,645 What? 298 00:25:45,849 --> 00:25:48,158 Let's not talk about this anymore, okay? 299 00:25:48,369 --> 00:25:49,802 Why? 300 00:25:53,889 --> 00:25:55,481 Because it's... 301 00:25:56,609 --> 00:25:58,201 ...stupid. 302 00:26:05,889 --> 00:26:06,765 What? 303 00:26:11,289 --> 00:26:12,085 What are you doing? 304 00:26:13,289 --> 00:26:17,328 What? Because I don't want to kill myself? That's not cool to you? 305 00:26:18,409 --> 00:26:20,365 I don't wanna die. I was just talking. 306 00:26:20,609 --> 00:26:23,487 Look, Susanna, the world is fucked up, okay? 307 00:26:23,729 --> 00:26:25,765 It's so fucked up that if some... 308 00:26:26,009 --> 00:26:29,001 ...draft zombie pulls my birthday out of a barrel... 309 00:26:29,249 --> 00:26:30,682 ...I'm gonna die. 310 00:26:32,009 --> 00:26:33,124 When's your birthday? 311 00:26:35,209 --> 00:26:36,881 December 30th. 312 00:26:39,809 --> 00:26:41,288 I'll pray for you. 313 00:26:43,889 --> 00:26:44,685 Checks. 314 00:27:11,689 --> 00:27:13,407 You asked for this? 315 00:27:23,849 --> 00:27:24,964 Are you gonna watch? 316 00:27:26,289 --> 00:27:30,407 Afraid so. That's why there's so many fuzzy-legged women here. 317 00:27:35,169 --> 00:27:37,160 Has anybody ever watched you shave? 318 00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:40,887 I got two kids and one bathroom. What do you think? 319 00:27:42,289 --> 00:27:44,598 I think you should lock the door. 320 00:27:46,369 --> 00:27:49,998 - September 14th. 321 00:27:53,009 --> 00:27:55,398 - Zero-zero-two. - Bingo. 322 00:27:57,369 --> 00:27:59,644 - Bingo. Bingo. - December 30th. 323 00:28:00,849 --> 00:28:02,407 Oh, my God. 324 00:28:03,369 --> 00:28:05,007 - Bingo. - Zero-zero-three. 325 00:28:07,169 --> 00:28:09,444 A guy I know was just drafted. 326 00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:11,558 What's his name? 327 00:28:14,209 --> 00:28:15,005 Toby. 328 00:28:16,969 --> 00:28:18,607 He's dead now. 329 00:28:25,289 --> 00:28:26,244 Get out, Lisa! 330 00:28:26,489 --> 00:28:28,719 I'm not in your room. I'm right here. 331 00:28:28,969 --> 00:28:31,802 - I was gonna offer you nail polish. - Get out! 332 00:28:33,569 --> 00:28:36,845 - You're looking better, Lisa. - Why, thanks, Margie. 333 00:28:37,089 --> 00:28:39,045 - How's the engagement? - You know. 334 00:28:39,249 --> 00:28:40,602 No, I don't. I've been away. 335 00:28:41,409 --> 00:28:44,207 Joe wants me to... Before the wedding. 336 00:28:45,249 --> 00:28:47,809 Fuck his brains out. Use a rubber. 337 00:28:48,849 --> 00:28:50,407 Gosh, hell, no. 338 00:29:09,569 --> 00:29:11,082 Can I bum one? 339 00:29:12,489 --> 00:29:13,444 Go ahead. 340 00:29:35,489 --> 00:29:38,287 So have you had your first Melvin yet? 341 00:29:38,609 --> 00:29:39,678 Who's that? 342 00:29:40,169 --> 00:29:42,808 Bald guy with a little pecker and a fat wife. 343 00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:44,928 Your therapist, sweet pea. 344 00:29:46,809 --> 00:29:47,764 Unless... 345 00:29:48,009 --> 00:29:50,125 ...unless they're giving you shocks. 346 00:29:50,369 --> 00:29:52,405 Or, God forbid, letting you out. 347 00:29:52,649 --> 00:29:55,117 Then you'll see the great, wonderful Dr. Dyke. 348 00:29:55,369 --> 00:29:56,802 She means Dr. Wick. 349 00:29:59,209 --> 00:30:01,359 I've seen his office but haven't met him. 350 00:30:01,649 --> 00:30:03,685 He's a she. Dr. Wick's a girl. 351 00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:06,603 That's right, M-G. Wick's a chick. 352 00:30:07,209 --> 00:30:08,767 Hence the nickname. 353 00:30:10,329 --> 00:30:13,082 Hey, Lil. When the fuck is my checkup? 354 00:30:13,649 --> 00:30:16,641 It's now, Lisa. You said you'd be in your room. 355 00:30:16,849 --> 00:30:19,363 Can't sit too long without popping the hood. 356 00:30:34,769 --> 00:30:35,884 Asshole! 357 00:30:36,129 --> 00:30:39,439 You have Melvin in half an hour. I'll take you there. 358 00:30:40,649 --> 00:30:41,684 I'm sorry. 359 00:30:41,929 --> 00:30:45,160 - Why are you using the past tense? 360 00:30:45,809 --> 00:30:47,401 What do you mean? 361 00:30:47,649 --> 00:30:49,367 Well, he was... 362 00:30:49,649 --> 00:30:53,722 ...only drafted today, so chances are, he's not dead yet. 363 00:30:54,449 --> 00:30:57,566 He probably has several months... 364 00:30:57,769 --> 00:30:59,760 ...before he even reports. 365 00:31:01,369 --> 00:31:05,760 He was just a nice guy, that's all. And it made me feel bad. 366 00:31:06,009 --> 00:31:07,965 You've been feeling bad in general. 367 00:31:08,649 --> 00:31:11,288 Right? You've been feeling depressed. 368 00:31:13,129 --> 00:31:16,280 I haven't exactly been a ball of joy, Melvin. 369 00:31:16,769 --> 00:31:19,363 I understand you tried to kill yourself last week. 370 00:31:20,169 --> 00:31:22,683 Anything you want to tell me about that? 371 00:31:23,129 --> 00:31:24,767 I had a headache. 372 00:31:26,129 --> 00:31:30,281 So I assume you took the recommended aspirin dosage for a headache. 373 00:31:31,209 --> 00:31:32,767 I didn't try to kill myself. 374 00:31:32,969 --> 00:31:34,561 What were you trying to do? 375 00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:37,004 I was trying to make the shit stop. 376 00:31:38,169 --> 00:31:40,444 The time-jumps, the depression... 377 00:31:41,689 --> 00:31:43,725 ...the headaches, the thing with your hand? 378 00:31:45,049 --> 00:31:46,562 All of the above. 379 00:31:48,569 --> 00:31:49,718 I see. 380 00:31:52,009 --> 00:31:54,079 Paul is dead! 381 00:32:02,569 --> 00:32:05,367 What is it? Are you puzzled about something? 382 00:32:06,649 --> 00:32:08,958 Yeah, I guess I am, Melvin. 383 00:32:09,169 --> 00:32:12,445 I'm puzzled as to why I have to be in a mental institution. 384 00:32:12,969 --> 00:32:14,561 You put yourself here. 385 00:32:14,809 --> 00:32:16,481 My parents put me here. 386 00:32:19,209 --> 00:32:20,278 No, they didn't. 387 00:32:20,929 --> 00:32:22,965 Everyone here's fucking crazy! 388 00:32:23,689 --> 00:32:25,042 You wanna go home. 389 00:32:28,249 --> 00:32:29,967 Same problem. 390 00:32:30,809 --> 00:32:33,562 M-G, look at me. 391 00:32:33,809 --> 00:32:35,242 Play with me. 392 00:32:36,009 --> 00:32:39,365 Don't be sad. Don't be sad. 393 00:32:48,249 --> 00:32:49,238 Thank you. 394 00:33:22,449 --> 00:33:24,804 - What are these? - Colace. It's just a laxative. 395 00:33:25,009 --> 00:33:26,965 I don't need them. 396 00:33:27,409 --> 00:33:28,808 Are we going to have a problem? 397 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:33,000 Are we going to have a problem? 398 00:33:33,289 --> 00:33:35,166 Are we going to have a problem? 399 00:33:35,969 --> 00:33:37,163 May I see? 400 00:33:37,369 --> 00:33:38,484 Thank you. 401 00:33:38,729 --> 00:33:40,367 Surrender. 402 00:33:41,049 --> 00:33:42,721 Are we going to have a problem? 403 00:33:44,929 --> 00:33:46,442 No problem. 404 00:33:46,689 --> 00:33:48,919 Phone call, booth one. 405 00:33:52,009 --> 00:33:54,364 - Hello? - Hold on. 406 00:33:56,369 --> 00:33:58,280 - Susanna? - Hi, Mom. 407 00:33:58,489 --> 00:33:59,968 Hi, honey. Your father's on too. 408 00:34:00,169 --> 00:34:02,922 He's just back from reserves. He got stuck at Dulles. 409 00:34:03,409 --> 00:34:04,637 How are you, honey? 410 00:34:05,049 --> 00:34:07,609 - I'm fine, Dad. - You know, sweetheart... 411 00:34:10,409 --> 00:34:13,606 If you can't give me Ex-Lax, can I please have some Colace? 412 00:34:13,849 --> 00:34:16,124 No. No more laxatives. 413 00:34:17,769 --> 00:34:19,760 I can get her some prune juice. 414 00:34:20,569 --> 00:34:21,968 Prune juice! 415 00:34:22,569 --> 00:34:24,287 This is outrageous! 416 00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:28,158 She was wondering if you'd made new friends, and I said: 417 00:34:28,649 --> 00:34:31,322 "No, Mom, this isn't Camp Winnetka." 418 00:34:34,769 --> 00:34:36,805 - Daisy? - Fuck off. 419 00:34:38,129 --> 00:34:40,165 I have something you want. 420 00:34:46,729 --> 00:34:47,957 Come in. 421 00:35:17,849 --> 00:35:19,123 You're all packed up. 422 00:35:19,809 --> 00:35:21,765 Yeah, I'm leaving in a month. 423 00:35:22,009 --> 00:35:23,681 My dad got me an apartment. 424 00:35:23,929 --> 00:35:27,524 - Really? Where? - It's near the airport. 425 00:35:27,849 --> 00:35:31,808 One bedroom, two baths, eat-in chicken. He fixed it up real nice for me. 426 00:35:32,049 --> 00:35:33,323 You mean eat-in kitchen. 427 00:35:34,009 --> 00:35:36,204 That's what I said, asshole. 428 00:35:36,569 --> 00:35:38,560 So what do you have that I want? 429 00:35:43,449 --> 00:35:44,598 Put it on the bed. 430 00:35:45,089 --> 00:35:46,238 Put yours on the bed. 431 00:35:46,649 --> 00:35:48,287 Oh, Jesus. Get out! 432 00:35:48,529 --> 00:35:49,803 Get out! 433 00:35:50,049 --> 00:35:52,324 Don't take advantage just because she's new. 434 00:35:52,569 --> 00:35:53,399 Pony up some Valium. 435 00:35:53,649 --> 00:35:56,561 Get the fuck out, or I'm calling Valerie! Valerie! 436 00:35:56,809 --> 00:35:58,606 Why don't you call Valerie? 437 00:35:58,809 --> 00:36:02,848 Call Valerie and ask her for some Colace, like Susie Q's got in her hand. 438 00:36:03,049 --> 00:36:04,721 Why does it stink in here? 439 00:36:05,649 --> 00:36:06,877 I don't take Valium. 440 00:36:07,129 --> 00:36:08,642 I know. That's the point. 441 00:36:08,889 --> 00:36:11,357 They give them to you, and you don't take them. 442 00:36:11,569 --> 00:36:13,207 Are you gonna eat that? 443 00:36:13,449 --> 00:36:14,768 Checks. 444 00:36:15,089 --> 00:36:16,681 You've got visitors, Daisy. 445 00:36:16,929 --> 00:36:18,681 I want some fucking Colace. 446 00:36:18,929 --> 00:36:21,159 Talk to Melvin tomorrow. 447 00:36:31,769 --> 00:36:35,557 You know what I think? I think you want to poop, Daisy. 448 00:36:35,769 --> 00:36:37,566 I think it's been days. 449 00:36:38,649 --> 00:36:40,207 Look, it's okay. I don't care. 450 00:36:40,409 --> 00:36:42,365 I do! I do care. 451 00:36:45,969 --> 00:36:49,962 So Daddy buys you a private, and no one gets in, huh? 452 00:36:51,129 --> 00:36:54,644 You never leave except when Valerie makes you go to the cafeteria... 453 00:36:54,889 --> 00:36:57,847 ...where you never eat. You're a laxative junkie. 454 00:36:58,849 --> 00:37:03,764 I always thought you were like Janet, but here you are with this chicken. 455 00:37:04,969 --> 00:37:06,960 So what's with that, huh? 456 00:37:07,329 --> 00:37:10,844 My dad owns a deli, asshole, with a rotisserie. 457 00:37:11,049 --> 00:37:14,758 I like my dad's chicken. When I eat something else, I puke. 458 00:37:15,409 --> 00:37:19,482 But why do you eat it here? Why don't you like to go to the cafeteria? 459 00:37:19,849 --> 00:37:21,601 Which do you like better? 460 00:37:21,849 --> 00:37:23,965 Taking a dump alone or with Valerie watching? 461 00:37:24,969 --> 00:37:25,958 Alone. 462 00:37:26,609 --> 00:37:29,407 Everyone likes to be alone when it comes out. 463 00:37:29,649 --> 00:37:31,401 I like to be alone when it goes in. 464 00:37:31,649 --> 00:37:34,527 To me, the cafeteria's like being with... 465 00:37:34,769 --> 00:37:36,760 ...20 girls all at once taking a dump. 466 00:37:37,969 --> 00:37:39,766 That is fucked up, Daisy! 467 00:37:42,169 --> 00:37:43,124 Come on. 468 00:37:46,729 --> 00:37:50,358 All right, assholes. Fine, here. 469 00:37:56,449 --> 00:37:57,598 Here. 470 00:38:07,089 --> 00:38:08,283 Lisa, don't! 471 00:38:08,529 --> 00:38:09,644 No, please... 472 00:38:09,849 --> 00:38:11,646 Dios-fucking-mio! 473 00:38:16,209 --> 00:38:18,040 That's how Daddy knows she's eating. 474 00:38:18,249 --> 00:38:22,367 When I get five, Valerie makes me throw them away. 475 00:38:35,249 --> 00:38:37,046 Scribble, scribble, scribble. 476 00:38:37,409 --> 00:38:38,967 Written anything about me yet? 477 00:38:39,169 --> 00:38:40,807 Don't do that. 478 00:38:52,329 --> 00:38:54,047 Is Daisy really getting out? 479 00:38:58,449 --> 00:39:00,007 She coughed up a big one. 480 00:39:00,689 --> 00:39:04,159 How can...? I mean, she's insane. 481 00:39:04,609 --> 00:39:06,998 That's what "ther-rape-me" is all about. 482 00:39:07,209 --> 00:39:11,043 That's why fucking Freud's picture's on every shrink's wall. 483 00:39:11,249 --> 00:39:16,039 He created an industry. You lie down, confess your secrets, and you're saved. 484 00:39:17,209 --> 00:39:20,724 The more you confess, the more they think about setting you free. 485 00:39:20,929 --> 00:39:23,318 But what if you don't have a secret? 486 00:39:25,129 --> 00:39:27,359 Then you're a lifer, like me. 487 00:39:28,249 --> 00:39:30,638 I was changing her diaper... 488 00:39:31,089 --> 00:39:33,319 ...and I turned to get the powder... 489 00:39:34,009 --> 00:39:36,967 ...and while my back was turned, she rolled off the bed. 490 00:39:38,849 --> 00:39:41,568 She rolled off the bed and broke her leg. 491 00:39:43,449 --> 00:39:46,680 The doctor put her in a body cast, but also strapped her down. 492 00:39:46,929 --> 00:39:49,159 - This has nothing... - You never told me this. 493 00:39:49,369 --> 00:39:51,405 Carl planned this trip to Santa Monica. 494 00:39:51,649 --> 00:39:55,847 He had a commitment at RAND. So we took her with us. 495 00:39:56,609 --> 00:39:59,487 On the back seat, strapped to this board, 4000 miles. 496 00:39:59,729 --> 00:40:03,039 If you like, Mrs. Kaysen, we can discuss this... 497 00:40:03,249 --> 00:40:05,843 ...further on the way out. 498 00:40:06,089 --> 00:40:08,762 Just how long is my daughter going to be here? 499 00:40:08,969 --> 00:40:10,721 With all due respect, Mr. Kaysen... 500 00:40:10,969 --> 00:40:15,008 ...psychiatry and economics are different. 501 00:40:15,209 --> 00:40:18,246 The length of Susanna's stay isn't fixed. 502 00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:21,247 It depends on her response to treatment. 503 00:40:21,449 --> 00:40:24,282 For what? Depression? 504 00:40:24,529 --> 00:40:29,000 It's almost Christmas. What do we say to the people who care about her? 505 00:40:29,729 --> 00:40:31,640 See, what's going on here is... 506 00:40:31,849 --> 00:40:36,445 ...my parents are having a little holiday cocktail Christmas party crisis. 507 00:40:36,649 --> 00:40:37,684 What? 508 00:40:39,569 --> 00:40:42,288 What's the "borderline" business you mentioned? 509 00:40:45,449 --> 00:40:47,724 I don't think that's useful to Susanna. 510 00:40:47,969 --> 00:40:50,085 - I mean, not... - What "borderline business"? 511 00:40:50,329 --> 00:40:52,126 - The mind... - Borderline what? 512 00:40:52,369 --> 00:40:54,485 Borderline between what and what? 513 00:40:55,649 --> 00:40:57,560 It's a condition, Susanna. 514 00:40:57,769 --> 00:41:00,203 And it's called Borderline Personality Disorder. 515 00:41:00,449 --> 00:41:02,485 Oh, God. 516 00:41:03,049 --> 00:41:04,687 It's not uncommon. 517 00:41:05,249 --> 00:41:07,205 Especially among young women. 518 00:41:07,769 --> 00:41:09,760 What causes it? 519 00:41:10,009 --> 00:41:11,647 We're really not sure. 520 00:41:11,849 --> 00:41:14,841 - Is it genetic? - Oh, Christ! 521 00:41:15,889 --> 00:41:18,198 It is five times more common... 522 00:41:18,529 --> 00:41:21,248 ...among those with a borderline... 523 00:41:21,849 --> 00:41:22,838 ...parent. 524 00:41:25,049 --> 00:41:29,600 I can't do this. I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do this. 525 00:41:43,409 --> 00:41:47,368 "Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acid stains you; drugs cause cramp. 526 00:41:47,609 --> 00:41:49,759 Guns aren't lawful; nooses give... 527 00:41:49,969 --> 00:41:52,961 ...gas smells awful; you might as well live." 528 00:41:53,249 --> 00:41:54,364 Gin. 529 00:42:05,849 --> 00:42:08,409 - Asshole. - Fatso. 530 00:42:15,369 --> 00:42:16,358 Call me a cab. 531 00:42:17,049 --> 00:42:18,243 Okay, you're a cab. 532 00:42:23,729 --> 00:42:25,924 Lisa said you got into Daisy's room. 533 00:42:27,249 --> 00:42:29,160 And it was full of chickens. 534 00:42:29,369 --> 00:42:31,564 Susanna, you have a phone call. 535 00:42:35,609 --> 00:42:37,998 So what's your "diag-nonsense"? 536 00:42:38,209 --> 00:42:41,360 - Who is this? - What'd he say to Mom and Pop? 537 00:42:49,849 --> 00:42:51,805 I have a borderline personality. 538 00:42:52,769 --> 00:42:54,600 Well, that's nothing. What else? 539 00:42:54,849 --> 00:42:57,682 He didn't say. He thought it would affect my recovery. 540 00:42:59,009 --> 00:43:00,362 Tongue your meds tonight. 541 00:43:00,609 --> 00:43:03,362 After 1:00 checks, Gretta always goes for a smoke. 542 00:43:03,569 --> 00:43:07,005 Check the mirrors. If they're clear, go to Hector's closet. 543 00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:10,281 It's near the art room, and it will be open. 544 00:43:25,849 --> 00:43:27,168 Torch! 545 00:43:28,449 --> 00:43:29,723 Come on. 546 00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:50,723 This is how Lisa gets out when she escapes! 547 00:43:54,449 --> 00:43:58,283 We're under administration, so... No good here. 548 00:43:58,729 --> 00:44:00,799 Good thing this place has a sliding scale. 549 00:44:01,049 --> 00:44:03,722 We get to mingle with the lock-picking trash. 550 00:44:28,129 --> 00:44:29,721 Good job! 551 00:44:31,849 --> 00:44:33,407 Susanna, you're up! 552 00:44:33,649 --> 00:44:36,288 No, no, no. I've only done this once in my life. 553 00:44:36,729 --> 00:44:37,684 - Come on. - Please. 554 00:44:37,929 --> 00:44:41,126 - We came all the way here. - Come on! 555 00:44:57,729 --> 00:44:58,957 All right! 556 00:45:30,729 --> 00:45:34,768 They put the tunnels in so the loons didn't have to go out in the cold. 557 00:45:34,969 --> 00:45:37,005 I must've missed that in the brochure. 558 00:45:41,009 --> 00:45:42,761 Hey, open the door. 559 00:45:55,969 --> 00:45:57,561 What the fuck are you doing? 560 00:46:10,009 --> 00:46:12,569 Dr. Wick's office. 561 00:46:25,969 --> 00:46:28,324 All right. Georgina Tuskin. 562 00:46:40,049 --> 00:46:41,960 Susanna Kaysen. 563 00:46:44,569 --> 00:46:46,161 Polly Clark. 564 00:46:49,049 --> 00:46:51,165 Cynthia Crowley. 565 00:46:51,409 --> 00:46:53,206 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 566 00:46:54,569 --> 00:46:56,161 Janet Webber. 567 00:46:59,009 --> 00:47:00,567 Lisa Rowe. 568 00:47:33,329 --> 00:47:34,842 Fuck you, Melvin. 569 00:47:39,849 --> 00:47:41,077 Wanna see mine? 570 00:47:42,169 --> 00:47:43,761 Let me see yours. 571 00:47:52,769 --> 00:47:55,283 "Lisa Rowe. 572 00:47:55,529 --> 00:47:57,997 Highs and lows increasingly severe. 573 00:47:58,769 --> 00:48:01,203 Controlling relationships with patients. 574 00:48:01,409 --> 00:48:04,367 No appreciable response to meds. 575 00:48:04,569 --> 00:48:08,721 No remission observed." That was before you ran away. 576 00:48:09,329 --> 00:48:11,047 We're very rare, and mostly men. 577 00:48:11,249 --> 00:48:14,047 Lisa thinks she's hot shit because she's a sociopath. 578 00:48:14,249 --> 00:48:16,126 - I'm a sociopath. - No, you're a dyke. 579 00:48:16,449 --> 00:48:19,407 "Borderline Personality Disorder. 580 00:48:19,609 --> 00:48:23,158 An instability of self-image, relationships and mood. 581 00:48:23,369 --> 00:48:25,007 Uncertainty about goals. 582 00:48:25,249 --> 00:48:28,366 Impulsive in activities that are self-damaging... 583 00:48:28,569 --> 00:48:30,958 ...such as casual sex." 584 00:48:31,409 --> 00:48:32,524 I like that. 585 00:48:32,729 --> 00:48:35,084 "Social contrariness and a generally... 586 00:48:35,329 --> 00:48:38,048 ...pessimistic attitude are often observed." 587 00:48:39,609 --> 00:48:40,758 Well, that's me. 588 00:48:41,609 --> 00:48:42,724 That's everybody. 589 00:48:42,969 --> 00:48:45,403 I mean, what kind of sex isn't casual? 590 00:48:45,849 --> 00:48:48,079 They mean promiscuous. 591 00:48:48,569 --> 00:48:50,287 I'm not promiscuous. 592 00:48:54,769 --> 00:48:56,566 I'm not. 593 00:49:13,249 --> 00:49:14,523 Jesus. 594 00:49:15,169 --> 00:49:16,648 Look at Janet. 595 00:49:17,169 --> 00:49:18,522 No. It's all right. 596 00:49:20,489 --> 00:49:24,448 You know, taking us for ice creams in a blizzard... 597 00:49:24,729 --> 00:49:27,197 ...makes you wonder who the real whack jobs are. 598 00:49:27,409 --> 00:49:29,081 You know, I think it's kind of nice. 599 00:49:29,289 --> 00:49:33,487 I mean, I think it's nice to do something nice on Daisy's last day. 600 00:50:01,009 --> 00:50:02,203 Oh, fuck! 601 00:50:02,449 --> 00:50:03,768 I'll have peppermint stick. 602 00:50:04,009 --> 00:50:05,647 Me too. Can I have peppermint stick? 603 00:50:05,889 --> 00:50:07,208 Sure. 604 00:50:07,449 --> 00:50:09,565 It's just called peppermint. 605 00:50:09,809 --> 00:50:11,162 Peppermint dick! 606 00:50:12,609 --> 00:50:14,167 Peppermint clit! 607 00:50:17,529 --> 00:50:19,884 Okay. We're just gonna have four cones. 608 00:50:20,129 --> 00:50:21,403 Four cones. 609 00:50:22,569 --> 00:50:24,446 Susanna, do you want anything? 610 00:50:24,649 --> 00:50:25,684 I'm fine. 611 00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:32,562 Ronny. 612 00:50:32,849 --> 00:50:33,884 Got any hot fudge? 613 00:50:34,529 --> 00:50:35,757 Yes. 614 00:50:36,249 --> 00:50:39,559 Can I have a vanilla sundae with hot fudge... 615 00:50:39,849 --> 00:50:43,125 ...and sprinkles. Rainbow, not chocolate. 616 00:50:44,569 --> 00:50:46,082 And... 617 00:50:49,809 --> 00:50:52,448 ...whipped cream, cherries... 618 00:50:53,369 --> 00:50:55,007 ...and... 619 00:50:56,009 --> 00:50:56,805 Nuts? 620 00:51:05,649 --> 00:51:07,526 Let's have a seat, ladies. 621 00:51:09,249 --> 00:51:14,039 Melvin thought that I should live in a halfway house. 622 00:51:14,969 --> 00:51:18,166 But my father knew that I deserved my own apartment. 623 00:51:18,649 --> 00:51:20,605 So he got me the prettiest apartment. 624 00:51:20,809 --> 00:51:22,959 It has an eat-in chicken... 625 00:51:23,169 --> 00:51:27,321 ...and all this beautiful wicker furniture, which is fantastic. 626 00:51:27,529 --> 00:51:28,757 Wicker butterflies. 627 00:51:30,049 --> 00:51:31,767 My very favourite part... 628 00:51:31,969 --> 00:51:33,846 ...is like in the phone book. 629 00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:36,563 There's a sign right outside that says: 630 00:51:36,769 --> 00:51:38,566 "If you lived here... 631 00:51:38,889 --> 00:51:39,878 ...you'd be home now." 632 00:51:40,449 --> 00:51:41,677 Hello, Susanna. 633 00:51:42,369 --> 00:51:43,484 Do you remember me? 634 00:51:44,369 --> 00:51:47,406 - You must remember me. - Yes. Mrs. Gilcrest. 635 00:51:48,129 --> 00:51:49,244 Susanna, you okay? 636 00:51:49,729 --> 00:51:51,640 I'm fine. 637 00:51:52,569 --> 00:51:55,163 - Hey, Bonnie. How's Radcliffe? - Wellesley. 638 00:51:55,649 --> 00:51:57,765 I'm enjoying it. It's strong in art. 639 00:51:57,969 --> 00:51:59,243 Going to the Sorbonne. 640 00:51:59,449 --> 00:52:02,885 - That's great. - You know, I know all about you... 641 00:52:03,129 --> 00:52:05,723 ...and I hope they put you away forever. 642 00:52:07,049 --> 00:52:08,243 Is this the professor's wife? 643 00:52:08,489 --> 00:52:09,604 What professor? 644 00:52:09,849 --> 00:52:11,282 So you told everybody. 645 00:52:13,129 --> 00:52:14,039 Lady, back off. 646 00:52:14,569 --> 00:52:15,968 - Was I talking to you? - Let's go. 647 00:52:16,209 --> 00:52:18,882 No, you're spitting on me, so mellow-fucking-out. 648 00:52:19,129 --> 00:52:20,198 Don't tell me what to do. 649 00:52:20,409 --> 00:52:23,560 Look, she gave your husband a rim job. Big fucking deal! 650 00:52:23,809 --> 00:52:26,687 He was begging for it, and I heard it was like a pencil. 651 00:52:26,929 --> 00:52:28,157 How dare you! 652 00:52:28,409 --> 00:52:32,084 Some advice: Don't point your fucking finger at crazy people! 653 00:52:35,209 --> 00:52:36,403 Let go of me! 654 00:52:37,929 --> 00:52:38,725 Mother? 655 00:52:38,969 --> 00:52:40,925 Get that out of my face, asshole! 656 00:52:43,569 --> 00:52:44,365 Let go! 657 00:52:44,849 --> 00:52:45,645 Now. 658 00:52:47,249 --> 00:52:48,398 Stop it! 659 00:52:49,209 --> 00:52:52,565 "Rank" you! Come again, Mrs. Professor! 660 00:52:53,049 --> 00:52:55,165 You shared a man with that woman? 661 00:53:01,609 --> 00:53:04,407 - Did you enjoy the fresh air? - Yeah, thanks. 662 00:53:04,609 --> 00:53:07,840 Good. Because it's the last time you're leaving the ward. 663 00:53:09,129 --> 00:53:11,563 Is that a dare or a double dare? 664 00:53:14,329 --> 00:53:18,447 Okay, raise your arms. Very good. We're going to be trees. 665 00:53:18,849 --> 00:53:22,080 Feel the strength in your arms as the branches. 666 00:53:22,329 --> 00:53:24,889 And reach those branches up to the sky. 667 00:53:25,129 --> 00:53:28,485 Come on, Susanna, reach. Very good! 668 00:53:28,729 --> 00:53:30,481 Lisa, all right. 669 00:53:30,689 --> 00:53:33,522 Reach your arms, girls. Reach. Really lift. 670 00:53:33,729 --> 00:53:35,560 Feel the stretch through the hip. 671 00:53:35,769 --> 00:53:38,203 Very good. Let your arms be branches. 672 00:53:38,409 --> 00:53:40,559 There's strength in those branches. 673 00:53:40,929 --> 00:53:45,639 Reach, reach all the way up into the sky. Very good. 674 00:53:45,929 --> 00:53:49,683 Let the wind blow the leaves and let your fingers be the leaves. 675 00:53:49,929 --> 00:53:52,284 Good, M-G, very good. Feel the wind. 676 00:53:52,689 --> 00:53:54,839 Good. Good, Lisa. 677 00:53:55,089 --> 00:53:56,761 Very good. 678 00:53:57,129 --> 00:54:00,246 Just lift up. Lift up. Very good, girls. 679 00:54:00,489 --> 00:54:02,798 Now feel your feet. Feel your feet be rooted. 680 00:54:03,009 --> 00:54:05,239 Go down into a plie. Very good. 681 00:54:05,489 --> 00:54:08,049 Good, girls. Polly, very good. 682 00:54:08,289 --> 00:54:11,759 Now stretch it. The wind's blowing really hard this way. 683 00:54:12,489 --> 00:54:15,367 That is not fair. That is not fair! 684 00:54:15,569 --> 00:54:16,797 That is not fair! 685 00:54:18,129 --> 00:54:19,960 Seventy-four is the perfect weight! 686 00:54:23,529 --> 00:54:25,008 Good luck, crazy bitch. 687 00:54:25,209 --> 00:54:28,679 What kind of tree can you be down there on the floor? 688 00:54:28,889 --> 00:54:31,449 I'm a fucking shrub, all right? 689 00:55:50,089 --> 00:55:53,479 Martin Luther King Jr. was killed tonight in Memphis, Tennessee. 690 00:55:53,689 --> 00:55:57,477 He was shot as he stood on the balcony of his hotel room. 691 00:55:57,929 --> 00:55:59,647 Last night, he said this: 692 00:55:59,849 --> 00:56:02,158 I don't know what will happen now. 693 00:56:02,929 --> 00:56:05,318 We've got some difficult days ahead. 694 00:56:06,729 --> 00:56:09,084 But it really doesn't matter with me now... 695 00:56:09,329 --> 00:56:11,843 ...because I've been to the mountaintop. 696 00:56:23,129 --> 00:56:25,245 Susanna, you have a visitor. 697 00:56:29,729 --> 00:56:30,878 What are you doing here? 698 00:56:35,529 --> 00:56:37,838 I ship out next week. 699 00:56:39,489 --> 00:56:40,638 Here. 700 00:56:57,409 --> 00:56:58,842 Checks. 701 00:56:59,529 --> 00:57:01,042 Sorry. 702 00:57:01,729 --> 00:57:05,358 No. It's okay. We have 10 minutes till they come back. 703 00:57:15,409 --> 00:57:16,603 Hey, Torch. 704 00:57:17,529 --> 00:57:19,440 What you doing? 705 00:57:20,329 --> 00:57:21,444 Nothing. 706 00:57:22,009 --> 00:57:25,240 Well, why don't you go to your room and do nothing? 707 00:57:35,729 --> 00:57:37,242 Checks. 708 00:57:39,329 --> 00:57:40,648 Checks. 709 00:57:43,929 --> 00:57:45,078 Checks. 710 00:57:48,529 --> 00:57:49,484 Hey, Margie. 711 00:57:49,729 --> 00:57:51,640 - Hey, Lisa. - What you doing? 712 00:57:51,849 --> 00:57:53,885 - Checks. - How's Joe? 713 00:57:54,129 --> 00:57:55,847 He's fine. 714 00:57:56,409 --> 00:57:57,922 I have to do my checks. 715 00:57:58,169 --> 00:58:01,206 Taking five minutes for me would be a dereliction of duty? 716 00:58:02,649 --> 00:58:04,241 What if I had a punctured artery? 717 00:58:04,489 --> 00:58:06,639 You'd go on your rounds, ignoring my wounds? 718 00:58:06,889 --> 00:58:09,483 - Stop it. - Stop what? Look at this. 719 00:58:09,929 --> 00:58:10,964 Go ahead. Go ahead. 720 00:58:11,209 --> 00:58:12,403 That's enough! 721 00:58:12,609 --> 00:58:15,123 Take one step and I'll jam this in my aorta! 722 00:58:15,369 --> 00:58:16,438 Stop it. 723 00:58:16,649 --> 00:58:18,446 Your aorta is in your chest. 724 00:58:20,409 --> 00:58:21,808 Good to know. 725 00:58:22,609 --> 00:58:25,362 - I'll make a note of that. - Good. 726 00:58:33,849 --> 00:58:36,488 You have grounds privileges. Why don't you take a walk? 727 00:58:37,129 --> 00:58:39,165 Go get a cup of coffee. 728 00:58:43,209 --> 00:58:44,927 We should get out of here. 729 00:59:00,529 --> 00:59:02,008 The cafeteria's this way. 730 00:59:02,209 --> 00:59:03,642 My wheels are here. 731 00:59:03,889 --> 00:59:05,686 Wait. What are we doing? 732 00:59:08,249 --> 00:59:10,205 We're going to Canada. 733 00:59:16,009 --> 00:59:17,727 You're not crazy. 734 00:59:17,929 --> 00:59:20,284 Okay? You don't need to be here. 735 00:59:21,729 --> 00:59:24,289 I tried to kill myself, Toby. 736 00:59:24,689 --> 00:59:28,682 - You took some aspirin. - I took a bottle of aspirin. 737 00:59:29,849 --> 00:59:34,127 That buys you a year in this place? That's bullshit, okay? 738 00:59:34,329 --> 00:59:35,398 They're breaking you. 739 00:59:35,889 --> 00:59:38,722 Come on. All right? Everything's changing, man. 740 00:59:38,969 --> 00:59:41,119 What do they know about being normal? 741 00:59:43,849 --> 00:59:45,521 I have friends in here. 742 00:59:46,689 --> 00:59:49,283 Who? Them? 743 00:59:49,689 --> 00:59:51,645 Those girls... Susanna... 744 00:59:53,129 --> 00:59:56,838 ...they're eating grapes off of the wallpaper. 745 00:59:57,249 --> 00:59:58,682 They're insane. 746 00:59:59,209 --> 01:00:01,643 If they are, I am. 747 01:00:05,689 --> 01:00:07,407 No, baby. Listen, come with me. 748 01:00:11,929 --> 01:00:13,044 Look... 749 01:00:14,049 --> 01:00:16,279 ...my dad gave me five grand. 750 01:00:16,849 --> 01:00:20,683 Okay? We can go up there. We can build a cabin in the woods. 751 01:00:22,849 --> 01:00:25,124 Look, I know that this sounds crazy... 752 01:00:27,289 --> 01:00:29,041 ...but I think I love you. 753 01:00:30,409 --> 01:00:32,684 So come with me. Okay? 754 01:00:34,329 --> 01:00:36,047 Come with me. 755 01:00:44,049 --> 01:00:47,086 You wanna leave, don't you? 756 01:00:47,289 --> 01:00:48,404 Yes. 757 01:00:48,929 --> 01:00:50,840 I wanna leave. 758 01:00:54,089 --> 01:00:55,841 But not with you. 759 01:00:59,529 --> 01:01:01,042 Not with you. 760 01:01:02,689 --> 01:01:04,247 I'm sorry. 761 01:01:06,249 --> 01:01:08,240 Susanna, wait a second. 762 01:01:51,809 --> 01:01:53,640 Why did you do that? 763 01:01:57,129 --> 01:01:59,643 Fix the light bulb at night? 764 01:02:01,649 --> 01:02:03,799 I'm not here in the morning... 765 01:02:04,169 --> 01:02:07,605 ...and that's when you like to draw your pictures and stuff. 766 01:02:07,889 --> 01:02:08,924 So... 767 01:02:19,729 --> 01:02:20,684 John? 768 01:02:27,529 --> 01:02:29,440 Why do you like me? 769 01:02:32,329 --> 01:02:34,365 I just like you. 770 01:02:35,529 --> 01:02:37,121 That's all. 771 01:02:38,249 --> 01:02:40,763 I wish you were getting better, though. 772 01:02:41,529 --> 01:02:43,042 I would... 773 01:02:44,329 --> 01:02:48,038 I'd take you out to go see a movie or something. 774 01:02:50,609 --> 01:02:52,247 That'd be nice. 775 01:02:54,209 --> 01:02:55,324 My face! 776 01:02:58,049 --> 01:02:59,368 My face! 777 01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,600 I'm okay. I'm okay. 778 01:03:01,849 --> 01:03:03,680 - Let her be. She's fine. - My face! 779 01:03:03,929 --> 01:03:04,998 My face! 780 01:03:05,289 --> 01:03:07,439 Seclusion. Take her to Seclusion. Come on. 781 01:03:07,929 --> 01:03:09,442 I got you. 782 01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:13,642 - My face! Why? - Open it. 783 01:03:14,849 --> 01:03:16,441 My face! 784 01:03:16,649 --> 01:03:18,002 My face! 785 01:03:18,249 --> 01:03:22,447 Quieten down. Quieten down. You're all right. 786 01:03:24,009 --> 01:03:26,807 I'm ugly! My face! 787 01:03:27,009 --> 01:03:30,206 I'm ugly! Why? 788 01:03:53,329 --> 01:03:55,047 What happened to Polly? 789 01:03:57,409 --> 01:04:00,287 What needs to happen? No one's ever gonna kiss her. 790 01:04:02,729 --> 01:04:05,243 They're building a new Disneyland in Florida. 791 01:04:05,769 --> 01:04:08,966 If I could have any job, I'd be a professional Cinderella. 792 01:04:09,689 --> 01:04:11,281 You could be Snow White. 793 01:04:11,529 --> 01:04:13,884 Polly could be Minnie Mouse and then... 794 01:04:14,089 --> 01:04:15,966 ...she'd be hugged, kissed and loved... 795 01:04:16,169 --> 01:04:19,445 ...and no one would know what's inside that giant head. 796 01:04:20,809 --> 01:04:22,640 Give me your keys. 797 01:04:47,689 --> 01:04:49,645 Hey, Polly. 798 01:04:50,849 --> 01:04:51,804 It's Susanna. 799 01:04:52,009 --> 01:04:53,522 Just play something. 800 01:04:53,929 --> 01:04:57,046 If talking did shit, we'd be out of here by now. 801 01:05:17,129 --> 01:05:21,281 When you're alone And life is making you lonely 802 01:05:21,489 --> 01:05:24,526 You can always go 803 01:05:24,729 --> 01:05:26,481 Downtown 804 01:05:34,489 --> 01:05:38,323 When you've got worries All the noise and the hurry 805 01:05:38,529 --> 01:05:41,999 Seems to help, I know 806 01:05:48,609 --> 01:05:50,327 Downtown 807 01:05:51,729 --> 01:05:54,289 Just listen to the music 808 01:05:54,489 --> 01:05:57,049 In the traffic in the city 809 01:05:57,489 --> 01:06:01,767 Linger on the sidewalks Where the neon lights are pretty 810 01:06:03,329 --> 01:06:05,001 How can you lose? 811 01:06:06,289 --> 01:06:09,087 The lights are much brighter there 812 01:06:09,329 --> 01:06:14,005 You can forget all your troubles Forget all your cares and go downtown 813 01:06:14,249 --> 01:06:15,841 Back to your room, please. 814 01:06:16,049 --> 01:06:19,803 Things will be great when you're Downtown 815 01:06:20,009 --> 01:06:22,159 McWilley is gonna wake up. 816 01:06:22,409 --> 01:06:23,728 Give me the guitar. 817 01:06:25,849 --> 01:06:27,328 You're gonna get me fired. 818 01:06:27,569 --> 01:06:30,959 You'll be dancing with him Before the night is over 819 01:06:31,169 --> 01:06:33,000 - Give me the guitar. - Happy again 820 01:06:34,609 --> 01:06:36,088 No. No. 821 01:06:36,449 --> 01:06:38,519 It's okay. It's okay. Come here. 822 01:06:38,769 --> 01:06:40,964 You'll get me fired. You know that? 823 01:06:52,049 --> 01:06:54,688 Downtown 824 01:06:56,009 --> 01:06:58,398 Everything's great... 825 01:06:58,889 --> 01:07:03,007 ...when you're downtown 826 01:07:28,209 --> 01:07:29,688 I'm writing you up. 827 01:07:29,929 --> 01:07:32,238 I am sick of this bullshit. 828 01:07:37,129 --> 01:07:38,847 Is she here? 829 01:07:39,329 --> 01:07:41,206 You can go in now. 830 01:07:47,409 --> 01:07:50,685 - What did she do? - They drugged Nurse McWilley. 831 01:07:56,729 --> 01:07:59,084 - Good morning, Susanna. - Good morning. 832 01:07:59,289 --> 01:08:00,324 How are you? 833 01:08:02,209 --> 01:08:04,245 I'm fine, I guess. 834 01:08:05,729 --> 01:08:07,242 Sit down. 835 01:08:16,409 --> 01:08:17,808 You look tired. 836 01:08:19,929 --> 01:08:24,684 Polly freaked out last night and we stayed up singing to her, Lisa and I. 837 01:08:26,409 --> 01:08:29,048 Have you become friends with Lisa? 838 01:08:31,009 --> 01:08:32,567 Why? Is that bad? 839 01:08:32,809 --> 01:08:35,448 - Does it feel bad? - No. 840 01:08:36,129 --> 01:08:39,201 Before you came here, did you have many girlfriends? 841 01:08:39,809 --> 01:08:41,242 Not really. 842 01:08:43,209 --> 01:08:46,997 Would you say that before you came here, your friends consisted mainly... 843 01:08:47,209 --> 01:08:48,608 ...of boys, of men? 844 01:08:50,089 --> 01:08:52,444 Does it say in there that I'm promiscuous? 845 01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:55,040 Why do you choose that word? 846 01:08:55,249 --> 01:08:58,685 How many guys would I have to sleep with to be considered promiscuous? 847 01:08:58,889 --> 01:09:00,959 Textbook promiscuous? 848 01:09:01,529 --> 01:09:02,882 What do you think? 849 01:09:03,129 --> 01:09:06,326 Ten. Eight. Five. 850 01:09:07,089 --> 01:09:10,559 How many girls would a guy have to sleep with to be considered promiscuous? 851 01:09:10,769 --> 01:09:12,646 Ten? 20? 109? 852 01:09:12,849 --> 01:09:14,760 Someone who's compulsively promiscuous... 853 01:09:15,009 --> 01:09:18,206 ...might engage in a sex act with a guest in their room... 854 01:09:18,409 --> 01:09:23,324 ...and then engage in another sex act during the same day with an orderly. 855 01:09:27,489 --> 01:09:32,119 Am I in trouble for kissing an orderly or giving my boyfriend a blowjob? 856 01:09:34,129 --> 01:09:35,926 Melvin says... 857 01:09:36,129 --> 01:09:40,327 ...you have some very interesting theories about your illness. 858 01:09:40,529 --> 01:09:44,442 You believe there is a mystical undertow in life. 859 01:09:44,649 --> 01:09:47,800 "Quicksands of shadows." 860 01:09:48,009 --> 01:09:52,002 Another one of my theories is that you people don't know what you're doing. 861 01:09:52,249 --> 01:09:55,082 You acknowledge a problem coping with this quicksand. 862 01:09:55,329 --> 01:09:59,117 I have a problem coping with this hospital. I wanna leave. 863 01:10:01,049 --> 01:10:02,118 I can't do that. 864 01:10:02,329 --> 01:10:04,889 I signed myself in, I can sign myself out. 865 01:10:05,129 --> 01:10:08,485 You signed yourself into our care. We decide when you leave. 866 01:10:08,809 --> 01:10:10,561 You're not ready for it, Susanna. 867 01:10:11,049 --> 01:10:13,688 Your progress has plateaued. 868 01:10:15,409 --> 01:10:17,320 Does that disappoint you? 869 01:10:17,809 --> 01:10:19,481 I'm ambivalent. 870 01:10:20,129 --> 01:10:22,279 In fact, that's my new favourite word. 871 01:10:22,489 --> 01:10:24,923 Do you know what that means, ambivalence? 872 01:10:25,449 --> 01:10:26,564 I don't care. 873 01:10:26,809 --> 01:10:28,720 If it's your favourite word, I would've... 874 01:10:28,929 --> 01:10:31,397 It means "I don't care." That's what it means. 875 01:10:31,649 --> 01:10:34,083 On the contrary, Susanna. 876 01:10:34,329 --> 01:10:39,039 Ambivalence suggests strong feelings in opposition. 877 01:10:39,289 --> 01:10:42,201 The prefix, as in ambidextrous... 878 01:10:42,409 --> 01:10:43,922 ...means "both." 879 01:10:44,689 --> 01:10:47,965 The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigour." 880 01:10:48,569 --> 01:10:51,322 The word suggests that you are torn... 881 01:10:52,009 --> 01:10:54,364 ...between two opposing courses of action. 882 01:10:57,929 --> 01:10:59,999 Will I stay or will I go? 883 01:11:00,329 --> 01:11:03,560 Am I sane or am I crazy? 884 01:11:03,889 --> 01:11:05,527 Those aren't courses of action. 885 01:11:06,289 --> 01:11:09,759 They can be, dear, for some. 886 01:11:10,009 --> 01:11:11,965 Well, then, it's the wrong word. 887 01:11:12,329 --> 01:11:13,444 No. 888 01:11:14,129 --> 01:11:15,767 I think it's perfect. 889 01:11:29,129 --> 01:11:31,802 "What world is this? 890 01:11:32,289 --> 01:11:33,768 What kingdom? 891 01:11:35,009 --> 01:11:38,001 What shores of what worlds?" 892 01:11:38,289 --> 01:11:43,044 It's a very big question you're faced with, Susanna. 893 01:11:43,689 --> 01:11:46,328 The choice of your life. 894 01:11:47,489 --> 01:11:50,640 How much will you indulge in your flaws? 895 01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:54,682 What are your flaws? Are they flaws? 896 01:11:55,449 --> 01:12:00,364 If you embrace them, will you commit yourself to hospital for life? 897 01:12:01,689 --> 01:12:05,238 Big questions, big decisions. 898 01:12:06,529 --> 01:12:10,442 Not surprising you profess carelessness about them. 899 01:12:17,129 --> 01:12:18,642 Is that it? 900 01:12:20,489 --> 01:12:22,047 For now. 901 01:12:30,689 --> 01:12:32,839 This way, Susanna. 902 01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:48,918 John was moved to the men's ward. 903 01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:53,845 And Lisa never came back from Dr. Wick's office. 904 01:13:20,729 --> 01:13:22,924 We live in a time of doubt. 905 01:13:24,089 --> 01:13:27,240 The institutions we once trusted no longer seem reliable. 906 01:13:31,729 --> 01:13:34,960 Daisy sent us a postcard all about her new apartment. 907 01:13:35,529 --> 01:13:37,645 She got a pussycat. 908 01:13:38,489 --> 01:13:40,445 Where's Lisa? 909 01:13:41,449 --> 01:13:43,440 You know where she is. 910 01:13:44,729 --> 01:13:47,084 They just put her in another ward. 911 01:13:58,089 --> 01:14:00,649 I think you need to get up. 912 01:14:01,049 --> 01:14:04,678 I'm just gonna rest for a while, just a little while. 913 01:14:12,489 --> 01:14:13,365 What are you doing? 914 01:14:16,489 --> 01:14:17,683 Fuck! 915 01:14:20,329 --> 01:14:21,842 Sorry, too cold? 916 01:14:22,089 --> 01:14:25,764 What the fuck are you doing? Get me the fuck out of this tub! 917 01:14:26,209 --> 01:14:27,324 Get yourself out. 918 01:14:28,009 --> 01:14:29,601 Where's Lisa? 919 01:14:30,649 --> 01:14:32,241 Where the fuck is Lisa? 920 01:14:32,849 --> 01:14:34,646 Can't hack it without her? 921 01:14:34,889 --> 01:14:38,928 You banish her for singing to Polly. We were trying to help her! 922 01:14:39,569 --> 01:14:44,199 We were trying to help her! This place is a fucking fascist torture chamber! 923 01:14:44,409 --> 01:14:45,558 No. 924 01:14:45,809 --> 01:14:49,484 I worked in state hospitals. This place is a five-star hotel. 925 01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:53,201 Oh, lordy, pick a bale of cotton 926 01:14:54,169 --> 01:14:58,685 You know, I can take a lot of crazy shit from a lot of crazy people... 927 01:14:58,889 --> 01:14:59,958 ...but you? 928 01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:01,967 You are not crazy. 929 01:15:02,209 --> 01:15:03,881 Then what's wrong with me? 930 01:15:04,129 --> 01:15:06,927 What the fuck's going on inside my head? 931 01:15:07,129 --> 01:15:09,643 Tell me Dr. Val, what's your diag-nonsense? 932 01:15:09,849 --> 01:15:13,728 You are a lazy, self-indulgent little girl... 933 01:15:13,969 --> 01:15:16,688 ...who is driving herself crazy. 934 01:15:19,529 --> 01:15:23,283 Is that your medical opinion? Huh? 935 01:15:23,489 --> 01:15:26,879 Is that what you've learned in your studies at night school... 936 01:15:27,089 --> 01:15:29,239 ...for Negro welfare mothers? 937 01:15:30,009 --> 01:15:33,922 I mean, Melvin doesn't have a clue. Wick is a psycho. And you... 938 01:15:34,169 --> 01:15:35,522 ...pretend you're a doctor. 939 01:15:35,729 --> 01:15:39,881 You sign charts and dole out meds, but you's ain't no doctor, Miss Valerie. 940 01:15:40,089 --> 01:15:43,047 You's ain't nothing but a black nursemaid. 941 01:15:46,009 --> 01:15:48,239 And you're just throwing it away. 942 01:16:13,409 --> 01:16:15,445 You still wanna go to Florida? 943 01:16:17,929 --> 01:16:20,682 Lisa, we need money, don't we? 944 01:16:20,929 --> 01:16:23,602 - You've tongued your meds? - Yeah, but I only have... 945 01:16:23,809 --> 01:16:26,039 They gave me shocks again. 946 01:16:26,449 --> 01:16:28,167 Jamie, I have to get out of here. 947 01:16:30,729 --> 01:16:32,447 I'm Susanna. 948 01:16:33,529 --> 01:16:35,679 I'm Susanna. 949 01:16:53,849 --> 01:16:55,646 What are we doing? 950 01:16:58,409 --> 01:17:00,047 What is it? 951 01:17:01,329 --> 01:17:04,765 "Dear sir, please give Daisy Randone assistance... 952 01:17:04,969 --> 01:17:08,439 ...installing a telephone at 23 Vicar Street." 953 01:17:08,649 --> 01:17:10,287 I thought we were going to Florida! 954 01:17:10,529 --> 01:17:13,441 We just need a place to crash till we get plane tickets. 955 01:17:15,529 --> 01:17:16,848 Come on. 956 01:17:27,729 --> 01:17:29,447 Nice coat. 957 01:18:31,209 --> 01:18:32,437 What? 958 01:18:33,649 --> 01:18:35,958 You don't want me, Tony. 959 01:18:36,209 --> 01:18:38,086 Yes, I do, baby. 960 01:18:38,329 --> 01:18:40,889 No, you don't. I'm a crazy girl. 961 01:18:41,129 --> 01:18:43,359 You're crazy, so we can't have one night? 962 01:18:43,609 --> 01:18:46,601 I am a crazy girl. Seriously. 963 01:18:47,929 --> 01:18:50,648 - You've been in a hospital? - Yes. 964 01:18:56,489 --> 01:18:58,081 Do you see purple people? 965 01:18:59,729 --> 01:19:01,959 My friend, he saw purple people. 966 01:19:02,449 --> 01:19:05,441 And so the state came and took him away. 967 01:19:06,529 --> 01:19:08,247 He didn't like that. 968 01:19:08,449 --> 01:19:10,485 Some time went by... 969 01:19:10,929 --> 01:19:13,682 ...and he told them he didn't see purple people no more. 970 01:19:13,889 --> 01:19:15,242 He got better. 971 01:19:16,009 --> 01:19:18,762 No. He still sees them. 972 01:19:21,529 --> 01:19:22,325 We gotta split. 973 01:19:22,569 --> 01:19:24,127 Somebody stop her! 974 01:19:24,369 --> 01:19:26,678 She took my fucking wallet! 975 01:19:36,929 --> 01:19:38,840 Identify yourself. 976 01:19:39,489 --> 01:19:41,639 It's Susanna and... 977 01:19:41,849 --> 01:19:44,647 It's Susanna. Daisy? 978 01:19:50,929 --> 01:19:52,044 You got Valium? 979 01:20:07,729 --> 01:20:08,844 Cool pad. 980 01:20:10,969 --> 01:20:12,448 Peace, man, peace. 981 01:20:12,889 --> 01:20:14,925 I'm sorry for being a bitch. I was a drag. 982 01:20:15,129 --> 01:20:16,642 That's for you. 983 01:20:25,489 --> 01:20:27,047 That's Ruby. 984 01:20:27,809 --> 01:20:29,640 My dad bought her for me. 985 01:20:31,729 --> 01:20:34,084 This is a Castro Convertible. 986 01:20:34,889 --> 01:20:36,561 - It pulls out. - Cool. 987 01:20:37,289 --> 01:20:38,688 - Where's your bathroom? - Right there. 988 01:20:42,729 --> 01:20:44,003 You don't have a tub. 989 01:20:44,209 --> 01:20:46,086 No, I don't. 990 01:20:47,049 --> 01:20:48,721 - What about upstairs? - Nope. 991 01:20:51,329 --> 01:20:54,082 So, what, did you two escape or what? 992 01:20:54,329 --> 01:20:56,843 Actually, we're going to Florida. 993 01:20:57,089 --> 01:20:59,887 All you have is mustard and your chickens. 994 01:21:00,449 --> 01:21:03,725 So what are you girls going to do in Florida? 995 01:21:05,049 --> 01:21:08,041 I'm gonna be Cinderella at Walt Disney's new theme park. 996 01:21:08,689 --> 01:21:10,680 Susanna's gonna be Snow White. 997 01:21:11,129 --> 01:21:13,324 You can come if you want. 998 01:21:13,889 --> 01:21:16,642 You can be the cocker spaniel that eats spaghetti. 999 01:21:18,489 --> 01:21:19,763 I wanna make pancakes. 1000 01:21:20,129 --> 01:21:21,847 I'm tired. I wanna go to bed. 1001 01:21:22,089 --> 01:21:24,284 I want to make pancakes in the morning. 1002 01:21:24,489 --> 01:21:26,002 There's a market on the corner. 1003 01:21:26,449 --> 01:21:28,440 Pans are under the sink. 1004 01:21:28,649 --> 01:21:30,560 Silver's in that drawer. 1005 01:21:33,849 --> 01:21:35,362 Do you have any money? 1006 01:21:36,689 --> 01:21:39,647 Do you have some sort of a safety net down there? 1007 01:21:41,129 --> 01:21:43,802 People you know down there in Florida? 1008 01:21:44,409 --> 01:21:45,842 Relatives? 1009 01:21:46,729 --> 01:21:49,402 Friends? Anything? 1010 01:21:59,929 --> 01:22:02,045 This is for your pancakes. 1011 01:22:03,609 --> 01:22:06,043 Don't make a lot of noise in the morning. 1012 01:22:07,009 --> 01:22:09,045 I like to sleep late. 1013 01:22:09,729 --> 01:22:11,845 I'll come down when I'm ready. 1014 01:22:40,009 --> 01:22:41,488 Give me the Valium. 1015 01:22:42,609 --> 01:22:44,520 We don't need your daddy's money. 1016 01:22:45,009 --> 01:22:46,840 Then leave it there. 1017 01:22:47,289 --> 01:22:49,849 Just give me the fucking Valium. 1018 01:22:55,489 --> 01:22:56,638 What's this? 1019 01:22:56,889 --> 01:22:58,004 - What's this? - Let go. 1020 01:22:58,249 --> 01:23:01,082 - Trying out your new silver? - Get the fuck off me. 1021 01:23:01,769 --> 01:23:02,997 Less appealing for Daddy. 1022 01:23:04,329 --> 01:23:06,206 Look at your own arm, asshole. 1023 01:23:06,449 --> 01:23:08,405 I'm sick, Daisy. We know that. 1024 01:23:08,649 --> 01:23:12,437 But here you are in so-called recovery, cut up like a ham. 1025 01:23:12,649 --> 01:23:14,526 Just stop it, okay? 1026 01:23:15,769 --> 01:23:18,283 Help me understand. 1027 01:23:19,049 --> 01:23:22,280 I thought you didn't do Valium. Tell me how this works. 1028 01:23:23,369 --> 01:23:26,759 Tell me that you don't drag that blade across your skin... 1029 01:23:26,969 --> 01:23:30,484 ...and pray for the courage to press down. 1030 01:23:31,969 --> 01:23:35,882 Tell me how your daddy helps you cope with that. 1031 01:23:36,289 --> 01:23:38,086 Illuminate me. 1032 01:23:40,569 --> 01:23:42,685 My father loves me. 1033 01:23:45,129 --> 01:23:46,323 I bet. 1034 01:23:46,569 --> 01:23:49,402 With every inch of his manhood. 1035 01:23:49,649 --> 01:23:51,480 Oh, God. 1036 01:23:55,569 --> 01:23:57,480 I'm going to sleep now. 1037 01:24:06,449 --> 01:24:08,041 Please be gone in the morning. 1038 01:24:11,289 --> 01:24:13,120 You're just jealous, Lisa... 1039 01:24:14,449 --> 01:24:16,280 ...because I got better. 1040 01:24:17,249 --> 01:24:19,080 Because I was released. 1041 01:24:20,129 --> 01:24:22,484 Because I have a chance. 1042 01:24:23,929 --> 01:24:25,521 And a life. 1043 01:24:27,369 --> 01:24:29,883 They didn't release you because you're better. 1044 01:24:30,289 --> 01:24:31,881 They just gave up. 1045 01:24:33,049 --> 01:24:34,801 You call this a life? 1046 01:24:35,049 --> 01:24:39,486 Taking Daddy's money? Buying your dollies and your knickknacks? 1047 01:24:39,689 --> 01:24:43,443 Eating his fucking chicken? Fattening up like a prize heifer? 1048 01:24:44,369 --> 01:24:46,405 You changed the scenery, but not the situation... 1049 01:24:46,609 --> 01:24:48,884 ...and the warden makes house calls. 1050 01:24:49,089 --> 01:24:51,159 And everybody knows. 1051 01:24:51,649 --> 01:24:54,482 Everybody knows that he fucks you. 1052 01:24:55,889 --> 01:24:57,208 What they don't know... 1053 01:24:58,569 --> 01:24:59,922 ...is that you like it. 1054 01:25:01,889 --> 01:25:04,357 - You like it. - Shut the fuck up! 1055 01:25:04,569 --> 01:25:06,844 Man, it's cool. It's okay. 1056 01:25:07,049 --> 01:25:08,277 It's fucking fine! 1057 01:25:08,529 --> 01:25:11,965 A man is a dick is a man is a dick is a chicken... 1058 01:25:12,169 --> 01:25:13,488 ...is a dad... 1059 01:25:13,689 --> 01:25:17,238 ...a Valium, a speculum, whatever. 1060 01:25:17,529 --> 01:25:19,087 Whatever. 1061 01:25:20,289 --> 01:25:21,961 You like being Mrs. Randone. 1062 01:25:23,769 --> 01:25:25,680 Probably all you've ever known. 1063 01:25:28,969 --> 01:25:31,085 Have fun in Florida. 1064 01:27:18,529 --> 01:27:20,087 Has she come down yet? 1065 01:27:20,809 --> 01:27:21,798 No. 1066 01:27:23,289 --> 01:27:26,247 But she's been playing that shit all morning! 1067 01:27:27,929 --> 01:27:31,604 Why does my heart go on beating? 1068 01:27:34,289 --> 01:27:38,168 Why do these eyes of mine cry? 1069 01:27:41,049 --> 01:27:43,609 Don't they know 1070 01:27:43,849 --> 01:27:47,125 It's the end of the world 1071 01:27:47,369 --> 01:27:50,441 It ended when you said 1072 01:27:51,569 --> 01:27:54,527 Goodbye 1073 01:28:42,169 --> 01:28:43,488 Daisy? 1074 01:29:02,169 --> 01:29:04,080 Oh, my God! 1075 01:29:15,529 --> 01:29:17,281 What an idiot. 1076 01:29:25,729 --> 01:29:29,438 - Yes, I need an ambulance. - Make it a hearse. 1077 01:29:30,769 --> 01:29:34,603 Daisy Randone. She killed herself. 1078 01:29:36,729 --> 01:29:41,359 23 Vicar Street. Yes. Please hurry! 1079 01:29:52,369 --> 01:29:55,361 You pressed her buttons. Now you're taking her money. 1080 01:29:56,929 --> 01:29:59,568 I didn't press shit. She was waiting for an excuse. 1081 01:29:59,769 --> 01:30:01,168 Pack up. We have to go. 1082 01:30:01,409 --> 01:30:03,559 All right? We have to go! 1083 01:30:03,769 --> 01:30:05,487 Now we have money. 1084 01:30:09,049 --> 01:30:11,085 Don't be stupid. 1085 01:30:14,489 --> 01:30:17,083 All right, fine. Be stupid. 1086 01:32:24,329 --> 01:32:27,878 We should send someone for a litter box. 1087 01:32:56,729 --> 01:32:58,481 Can I pet the kitty? 1088 01:33:01,129 --> 01:33:02,687 Be careful. 1089 01:33:06,169 --> 01:33:09,002 - Hello, puddy-cat. - Kitty! 1090 01:33:09,849 --> 01:33:11,885 You are so cute. 1091 01:33:23,529 --> 01:33:25,247 Checks. 1092 01:33:26,929 --> 01:33:28,681 Where's Georgina? 1093 01:33:29,529 --> 01:33:31,724 She's staying with Polly tonight. 1094 01:33:32,449 --> 01:33:34,644 They're playing with your cat. 1095 01:33:38,409 --> 01:33:40,365 Did they find Lisa? 1096 01:33:41,689 --> 01:33:42,678 No. 1097 01:34:00,649 --> 01:34:03,243 I couldn't stand up to her. 1098 01:34:07,329 --> 01:34:10,639 A decent person would have done something. 1099 01:34:12,929 --> 01:34:14,647 Shut her up. 1100 01:34:18,529 --> 01:34:20,520 Gone upstairs. 1101 01:34:21,209 --> 01:34:23,040 Talked to Daisy. 1102 01:34:25,729 --> 01:34:28,038 Melvin said you went upstairs. 1103 01:34:30,249 --> 01:34:31,841 Too late. 1104 01:34:34,209 --> 01:34:36,439 What would you have said to her? 1105 01:34:38,089 --> 01:34:39,841 I don't know. 1106 01:34:41,529 --> 01:34:43,440 That I was sorry. 1107 01:34:48,729 --> 01:34:51,562 That I'll never know what it was like to be her. 1108 01:34:55,729 --> 01:34:59,438 But I know what it's like to wanna die. 1109 01:35:03,409 --> 01:35:05,843 How it hurts to smile. 1110 01:35:07,729 --> 01:35:11,039 How you try to fit in, but you can't. 1111 01:35:12,529 --> 01:35:15,680 How you hurt yourself on the outside... 1112 01:35:15,889 --> 01:35:19,040 ...to try to kill the thing on the inside. 1113 01:35:21,209 --> 01:35:25,839 Susanna, it's all well and good to tell me all this. 1114 01:35:26,809 --> 01:35:30,245 But you've got to tell some of this to your doctors. 1115 01:35:36,329 --> 01:35:38,206 How am I supposed to recover... 1116 01:35:38,409 --> 01:35:41,162 ...when I don't even understand my disease? 1117 01:35:42,129 --> 01:35:44,404 But you do understand it. 1118 01:35:44,689 --> 01:35:48,079 You spoke very clearly about it a second ago. 1119 01:35:48,889 --> 01:35:51,926 But I think what you've got to do is put it down. 1120 01:35:52,169 --> 01:35:54,444 Put it away. Put it in your notebook. 1121 01:35:54,649 --> 01:35:56,560 But get it out of yourself. 1122 01:35:57,249 --> 01:36:01,037 Away, so you can't curl up with it anymore. 1123 01:36:07,689 --> 01:36:10,044 Lisa thinks it's a gift. 1124 01:36:12,729 --> 01:36:15,448 That it lets you see the truth. 1125 01:36:18,529 --> 01:36:20,918 Lisa's been here for eight years. 1126 01:36:29,129 --> 01:36:31,245 I'm so sorry. 1127 01:36:31,689 --> 01:36:34,647 - I was a pig. - It's all right. Listen. 1128 01:36:37,129 --> 01:36:39,518 Do not drop anchor here. 1129 01:36:40,729 --> 01:36:41,639 Understand? 1130 01:36:54,529 --> 01:36:56,838 When you don't want to feel... 1131 01:36:57,729 --> 01:37:00,448 ...death can seem like a dream. 1132 01:37:01,409 --> 01:37:04,048 But seeing death... 1133 01:37:04,649 --> 01:37:06,560 ...really seeing it... 1134 01:37:06,929 --> 01:37:10,842 ...makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous. 1135 01:37:11,689 --> 01:37:15,443 Maybe there's a moment, growing up... 1136 01:37:15,649 --> 01:37:17,640 ...when something peels back. 1137 01:37:18,049 --> 01:37:22,247 Maybe we look for secrets because we can't believe our minds. 1138 01:37:22,449 --> 01:37:26,237 Though I missed Lisa, life was easier without her. 1139 01:37:26,449 --> 01:37:28,679 A thought is a hard thing to control. 1140 01:37:30,609 --> 01:37:32,759 All I know is that I began to feel again. 1141 01:37:32,969 --> 01:37:34,118 Crazy? Sane? 1142 01:37:34,329 --> 01:37:38,800 Whatever I was, I knew there was only one way back to the world... 1143 01:37:39,009 --> 01:37:41,398 ...and that was to use the place... 1144 01:37:41,649 --> 01:37:43,048 ...to talk. 1145 01:37:43,729 --> 01:37:47,483 So I saw the great and wonderful Dr. Wick three times a week... 1146 01:37:47,689 --> 01:37:50,567 ...and I let her hear every thought in my head. 1147 01:37:54,329 --> 01:37:57,958 Do you think maybe I have ESP or something, that I'm gifted? 1148 01:37:58,929 --> 01:38:00,362 Perhaps. 1149 01:38:12,129 --> 01:38:14,882 You think I can be home by Thanksgiving? 1150 01:38:18,649 --> 01:38:21,243 Nothing's happened in weeks, you know. 1151 01:38:22,009 --> 01:38:24,523 The point is control. 1152 01:38:24,769 --> 01:38:28,728 Yeah, and here I am, in control, off meds... 1153 01:38:28,969 --> 01:38:32,041 ...no headaches, sleeping sound. 1154 01:38:40,129 --> 01:38:42,324 Oh, will you help me? Can you help me? 1155 01:38:42,529 --> 01:38:44,360 You don't need to be helped any longer. 1156 01:38:44,569 --> 01:38:46,764 You've always had the power to go back to Kansas. 1157 01:38:47,609 --> 01:38:48,485 I have? 1158 01:38:48,689 --> 01:38:50,202 Then why didn't you tell her before? 1159 01:38:50,409 --> 01:38:52,639 Because she wouldn't have believed me. 1160 01:38:52,889 --> 01:38:54,288 She had to learn it for herself. 1161 01:38:54,489 --> 01:38:56,480 What have you learned, Dorothy? 1162 01:39:01,009 --> 01:39:02,567 I think that it... 1163 01:39:02,769 --> 01:39:06,603 ...that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em... 1164 01:39:08,209 --> 01:39:11,326 ...and if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again... 1165 01:39:11,529 --> 01:39:14,601 ...I won't look any further than my own back yard. 1166 01:39:14,889 --> 01:39:17,198 Because if it isn't there... 1167 01:39:17,409 --> 01:39:20,560 ...I never really lost it to begin with. 1168 01:39:21,489 --> 01:39:23,844 - Is that right? - That's all it is. 1169 01:39:44,329 --> 01:39:45,842 Thanks, Joe. 1170 01:40:45,009 --> 01:40:49,480 Go away. Go away! 1171 01:40:55,009 --> 01:40:56,442 It's me. 1172 01:41:10,929 --> 01:41:13,238 It's been a while... 1173 01:41:14,489 --> 01:41:17,242 ...and I just wanted to say hey. 1174 01:41:21,009 --> 01:41:22,647 You okay? 1175 01:41:23,889 --> 01:41:25,641 Fabulous. 1176 01:41:28,529 --> 01:41:31,202 You're gonna be late. Gretta's waiting for you. 1177 01:41:35,409 --> 01:41:38,640 I gotta go. Dr. Wick. 1178 01:41:40,929 --> 01:41:42,840 They still fucking with you? 1179 01:41:46,329 --> 01:41:47,557 They're... 1180 01:41:49,689 --> 01:41:52,249 Actually, they're letting me out. 1181 01:41:55,929 --> 01:41:57,647 Oh, that's great. 1182 01:42:00,729 --> 01:42:02,447 You better go. 1183 01:42:19,049 --> 01:42:22,485 Well, my dad got me a job, a part-time job... 1184 01:42:22,689 --> 01:42:24,884 ...at a bookstore in Harvard Square. 1185 01:42:26,009 --> 01:42:28,762 And I got an apartment with a phone so I can... 1186 01:42:28,969 --> 01:42:30,118 Stay in touch. 1187 01:42:31,809 --> 01:42:35,358 And I'll be seeing Sonia twice a week. 1188 01:42:35,609 --> 01:42:39,284 Is that your long-term plan? To work in retail? 1189 01:42:42,929 --> 01:42:45,204 My plan? No. 1190 01:42:45,729 --> 01:42:47,640 Then what do you plan to do? 1191 01:42:50,529 --> 01:42:52,008 I plan to write. 1192 01:42:59,489 --> 01:43:01,127 Polly Clark. 1193 01:43:02,129 --> 01:43:04,040 Cynthia Crowley. 1194 01:43:07,329 --> 01:43:09,399 Susanna Kaysen. 1195 01:43:11,649 --> 01:43:14,288 - I don't think I need... - Sleeping pills, darling. 1196 01:43:14,489 --> 01:43:17,799 You want to be rested for tomorrow. Last night's a long one. 1197 01:43:18,129 --> 01:43:20,484 Good girl. Katie Cooper. 1198 01:43:22,849 --> 01:43:24,248 Rosemary Jones. 1199 01:43:26,689 --> 01:43:28,839 Teresa McCullian. 1200 01:44:50,289 --> 01:44:51,642 Ruby? 1201 01:45:30,929 --> 01:45:34,160 "If I spread my fingers out, my hand looked more human. 1202 01:45:34,409 --> 01:45:35,842 So I did that. 1203 01:45:36,089 --> 01:45:39,968 But it wasn't tiring holding my fingers apart, so I let them relax... 1204 01:45:40,209 --> 01:45:42,006 ...and then, I turned my hand over. 1205 01:45:42,409 --> 01:45:44,001 The back wasn't much better. 1206 01:45:44,249 --> 01:45:46,444 My veins bulged." 1207 01:45:50,729 --> 01:45:53,243 Shut up, I'm reading. Shut up! 1208 01:45:55,329 --> 01:45:59,038 "I can honestly say that my memory has been transformed... 1209 01:46:00,049 --> 01:46:02,802 By Freud's definition, I've achieved mental health. 1210 01:46:03,249 --> 01:46:05,638 And my discharge sheet reads, 'recovered.' 1211 01:46:06,449 --> 01:46:07,848 Recovered." 1212 01:46:10,609 --> 01:46:12,440 Don't do this! 1213 01:46:13,249 --> 01:46:14,648 "Whatever it was..." 1214 01:46:20,289 --> 01:46:23,122 "Had I stopped arguing with my personality? 1215 01:46:24,569 --> 01:46:25,718 Recovered." 1216 01:46:27,529 --> 01:46:31,124 We were reading your book. We're having a little read-aloud... 1217 01:46:31,329 --> 01:46:34,048 ...celebrate the wisdom you're taking into the world. 1218 01:46:34,249 --> 01:46:36,524 Try to learn something, grow as people. 1219 01:46:37,849 --> 01:46:40,682 When you were a baby, they strapped you to a board. 1220 01:46:41,289 --> 01:46:43,359 You think Georgina doesn't wanna leave... 1221 01:46:43,609 --> 01:46:45,088 ...and I'm criminally insane. 1222 01:46:45,409 --> 01:46:47,718 What are you guys doing here? 1223 01:46:47,969 --> 01:46:51,848 "Lisa's eyes, once so magnetic, now just look empty." 1224 01:46:53,889 --> 01:46:55,766 That is mine. 1225 01:46:56,289 --> 01:46:58,041 That is mine. 1226 01:46:59,889 --> 01:47:02,528 "Georgina lies only to people who keep her here. 1227 01:47:02,729 --> 01:47:05,197 Sometimes I think she wants to live in Oz forever." 1228 01:47:05,449 --> 01:47:08,725 - How perceptive. - You better erase that thing. 1229 01:47:09,249 --> 01:47:13,401 My father is the head of the CIA, and he could have you dead in minutes! 1230 01:47:13,609 --> 01:47:15,201 "In this world, looks are everything. 1231 01:47:15,409 --> 01:47:19,197 Sometimes I think Polly's sweetness and purity aren't genuine at all... 1232 01:47:19,409 --> 01:47:22,401 ...but a desperate attempt to make it easier for us to look at her." 1233 01:47:22,929 --> 01:47:25,887 So nice of you to pass judgment on us now that you're cured. 1234 01:47:26,409 --> 01:47:28,400 What the fuck are you doing, Lisa? 1235 01:47:29,049 --> 01:47:31,199 I'm playing the villain, like you want. 1236 01:47:31,449 --> 01:47:33,804 - I give you everything you want. - No, you don't. 1237 01:47:35,449 --> 01:47:36,768 You wanted your file? I got it! 1238 01:47:36,969 --> 01:47:40,359 You wanted out, I got you out! You needed money, I found you some! 1239 01:47:40,609 --> 01:47:43,521 I told you the truth! I didn't write it in a book! 1240 01:47:43,729 --> 01:47:45,720 I told you to your face! 1241 01:47:45,969 --> 01:47:49,962 I told Daisy what everybody knew and wouldn't say, and she killed herself. 1242 01:47:50,169 --> 01:47:51,761 I played the fucking villain. 1243 01:47:52,009 --> 01:47:53,044 Just like you wanted. 1244 01:47:53,289 --> 01:47:54,722 Why would I want that? 1245 01:47:56,249 --> 01:47:58,479 Because it makes you the good guy, sweet pea. 1246 01:47:58,689 --> 01:48:02,682 You come back here, all sweetness and light and sad and contrite... 1247 01:48:02,889 --> 01:48:07,519 ...and everybody wrings their hands, congratulating you on your bravery. 1248 01:48:07,969 --> 01:48:12,247 Meanwhile, I'm blowing guys at the bus station for money! 1249 01:48:12,849 --> 01:48:14,282 Stop it, Lisa. She's too... 1250 01:48:14,529 --> 01:48:15,723 Shut up, Polly! 1251 01:48:17,969 --> 01:48:19,118 Where are you going? 1252 01:48:19,929 --> 01:48:21,362 I'm talking to you! 1253 01:48:25,809 --> 01:48:28,642 Where are you going? I'm talking to you! 1254 01:48:32,929 --> 01:48:34,442 You don't like me anymore? 1255 01:48:34,689 --> 01:48:36,520 No, I don't! 1256 01:48:37,889 --> 01:48:39,641 Because you're free? 1257 01:48:39,929 --> 01:48:41,442 You think you're free? 1258 01:48:42,209 --> 01:48:43,437 I'm free! 1259 01:48:43,929 --> 01:48:46,489 You don't know what freedom is! 1260 01:48:47,249 --> 01:48:48,602 I'm free! 1261 01:48:49,089 --> 01:48:51,478 I can breathe! And you... 1262 01:48:51,729 --> 01:48:54,721 ...you'll go choke on your average fucking mediocre life! 1263 01:49:06,929 --> 01:49:08,760 There are too many buttons in the world. 1264 01:49:09,009 --> 01:49:11,045 Too many buttons, and they're just... 1265 01:49:12,809 --> 01:49:15,118 There's way too many, begging to be pressed. 1266 01:49:15,409 --> 01:49:17,206 They're just begging to be pressed! 1267 01:49:17,409 --> 01:49:19,877 You know, they're just begging to be pressed. 1268 01:49:20,609 --> 01:49:22,486 And it makes me wonder. 1269 01:49:22,929 --> 01:49:26,478 It makes me fucking wonder. Why doesn't anybody ever press mine? 1270 01:49:26,729 --> 01:49:28,048 Why am I so neglected? 1271 01:49:28,289 --> 01:49:31,326 Why doesn't anybody reach in and rip out the truth... 1272 01:49:31,529 --> 01:49:33,804 ...and tell me that I'm a fucking whore... 1273 01:49:34,129 --> 01:49:36,165 ...and that my parents wish I were dead? 1274 01:49:36,649 --> 01:49:39,288 Because you're dead already, Lisa! 1275 01:49:45,849 --> 01:49:48,158 No one cares if you die, Lisa... 1276 01:49:49,529 --> 01:49:52,043 ...because you're dead already. 1277 01:49:52,729 --> 01:49:56,438 Your heart is cold! 1278 01:49:58,609 --> 01:50:00,804 That's why you keep coming back here. 1279 01:50:02,529 --> 01:50:04,440 You're not free. 1280 01:50:05,209 --> 01:50:08,519 You need this place. You need it to feel alive. 1281 01:50:09,049 --> 01:50:10,004 It's pathetic. 1282 01:50:50,089 --> 01:50:52,842 I've wasted a year of my life. 1283 01:50:58,129 --> 01:51:01,246 And maybe everyone out there is a liar. 1284 01:51:04,409 --> 01:51:07,446 And maybe the whole world... 1285 01:51:07,689 --> 01:51:11,045 ...is stupid and ignorant. 1286 01:51:13,729 --> 01:51:16,038 But I'd rather be in it. 1287 01:51:17,889 --> 01:51:21,564 I'd rather be fucking in it... 1288 01:51:21,809 --> 01:51:24,243 ...than down here with you. 1289 01:51:42,129 --> 01:51:44,563 Don't. Don't. 1290 01:51:45,929 --> 01:51:47,248 Don't. 1291 01:51:57,609 --> 01:51:59,088 Oh, God. 1292 01:52:42,249 --> 01:52:43,238 Did you get it? 1293 01:52:46,529 --> 01:52:49,521 I had to trade with a transvestite in the men's ward. 1294 01:52:52,489 --> 01:52:53,842 Thanks. 1295 01:53:50,449 --> 01:53:52,246 I'm not really dead. 1296 01:53:58,529 --> 01:54:00,008 I know. 1297 01:54:04,329 --> 01:54:06,718 I'm gonna miss you, Susie Q. 1298 01:54:09,129 --> 01:54:12,360 No, you're not. You're gonna get out of here... 1299 01:54:12,569 --> 01:54:14,844 ...and you're gonna come and see me. 1300 01:54:37,089 --> 01:54:38,841 Hey, Georgina. 1301 01:54:39,089 --> 01:54:41,842 You know all that stuff I write in my journal... 1302 01:54:42,089 --> 01:54:44,080 ...I don't know what I'm saying. 1303 01:54:44,929 --> 01:54:47,887 They're just thoughts. 1304 01:54:48,529 --> 01:54:50,440 Maybe I'm the liar. 1305 01:54:52,209 --> 01:54:53,847 Maybe not. 1306 01:55:02,089 --> 01:55:03,442 See you. 1307 01:55:13,929 --> 01:55:18,286 You think if I left Ruby here you'd take care of her for me? 1308 01:55:18,729 --> 01:55:22,039 Let me play with her when I come for my therapy? 1309 01:55:32,609 --> 01:55:33,928 Bye, Ruby. 1310 01:55:54,649 --> 01:55:56,844 Remember me when you shave your legs. 1311 01:56:26,049 --> 01:56:28,119 Declared healthy... 1312 01:56:28,329 --> 01:56:31,162 ...and sent back into the world. 1313 01:56:31,489 --> 01:56:33,878 My final diagnosis: 1314 01:56:34,249 --> 01:56:36,638 A recovered borderline. 1315 01:56:37,689 --> 01:56:40,328 What that means, I still don't know. 1316 01:56:41,529 --> 01:56:43,440 Was I ever crazy? 1317 01:56:43,689 --> 01:56:46,157 - Maybe. 1318 01:56:46,929 --> 01:56:49,284 Or maybe life is. 1319 01:56:50,889 --> 01:56:52,561 I remember you. 1320 01:56:54,849 --> 01:56:56,248 Where are you going? 1321 01:56:57,209 --> 01:56:59,404 17 Burlingame. 1322 01:56:59,609 --> 01:57:00,803 All right. 1323 01:57:02,049 --> 01:57:04,768 Crazy isn't being broken... 1324 01:57:05,049 --> 01:57:08,121 ...or swallowing a dark secret. 1325 01:57:08,609 --> 01:57:10,600 It's you or me... 1326 01:57:10,849 --> 01:57:12,840 ...amplified. 1327 01:57:13,449 --> 01:57:15,963 If you ever told a lie... 1328 01:57:16,209 --> 01:57:18,040 ...and enjoyed it. 1329 01:57:19,489 --> 01:57:23,607 If you ever wished you could be a child forever. 1330 01:57:24,889 --> 01:57:27,039 They were not perfect... 1331 01:57:27,489 --> 01:57:29,684 ...but they were my friends. 1332 01:57:31,009 --> 01:57:33,159 And by the '70s... 1333 01:57:33,369 --> 01:57:35,166 ...most of them were out... 1334 01:57:35,409 --> 01:57:37,320 ...living lives. 1335 01:57:38,049 --> 01:57:40,040 Some I've seen... 1336 01:57:41,209 --> 01:57:43,643 ...some, never again. 1337 01:57:44,929 --> 01:57:48,239 But there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them. 901 01:57:51,900 --> 01:58:00,600 © anoXmous @ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud 94980

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