All language subtitles for Daytime.Divas.S01E07.1080p.WEB.x264-TBS

Previously on Daytime Divas...

You really think someone
should get away with murder

just because they're rich and famous.

I have busted my ass for
everything that I've ever got.

So did my mom, but she didn't
have to steal anyone's work.

Savannah, can you help Brad with this?

- I'm Ella.
- But just at home.

- Not in front of Daddy.
- I'm so sorry about Brad.

I've been cheated on
more times than I can count.

I desperately need your help downstairs.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God, you're like a secret whore.

I shouldn't be
your sober coach anymore.

- Meet our new guest co-host.
- Cecile James.

- Do you have a second?
- Sure.

That question I asked on air...

Hey, you know that question
that I asked you...

- Hi.
- Was your question out of...

If you don't mind, I was
wondering if I could ask

you a few questions about Ted Windsor?

We have got a big problem.

I heard you were asking
about me, detective?

Oh, it's you. Hi.

Oh, I, I don't touch Cops.

Literally.

Hmm. Well, please have a seat.

So I guess your doorman
mentioned that I stopped by.

William, is it?

Uh, yes, I think that's his name.

Look, detective, people have
always had this morbid curiosity

about the death of my husband, you know.

Being a public figure or a celebrity

people love to find scandals
where there are none.

I was just takin' a look at the files

you know, I wanted to
clear some things up.

Well, it was about 11 years ago.

The wound is still raw.

You must be able to remember

the events of that night
pretty vividly, huh?

Oh, I'll never forget.
It started out so perfectly.

We had a beautiful
graduation dinner for my son

at, uh, Mil Morel. Have you ever been?

No.

I, I can't even afford lox for my bagel.

So, um, what happened after Mil Morel?

Exactly what was in the papers.

'Ted left early about 10:00
to handle some work.'

Shawn and I had a nightcap
and then went for a stroll

in this gorgeous city
that you keep so safe.

And then I went home
a little after midnight.

And then my whole world fell apart.

There was Ted on the floor
in a pool of blood.

The restaurant.

That was the last time
you saw your husband alive.

I never got a chance to tell him
how much I loved him.

Well, thank you, Ms. Robinson.

Sorry you had to relive
all these painful memories.

If it clears up any confusion,
it was worth it.

Definitely did.

And if you're ever in the neighborhood

stop by at "The Lunch Hour."

I promise we will have lox
for your bagel.

Will do.

If the kids at school ask you anything

about me and daddy not living
together you tell them that

it is a sin to gossip and to MYOB.

Mommy, my tummy hurts.

Nice try, but you are still
going to school.

I can't, I'm sick.

No, you're not.
Ella doesn't wanna go to school

'cause Brian O'Donnell
teases him in PE.

The kid who drools makes fun of you?

- Shut up!
- Ella, language.

And he said Ella's not allowed
to use the bathroom.

- I said shut up.
- And I said language.

Savannah, what are you taking about?

Ella doesn't like the boys' room

but the principal won't
let him use the girls' room.

Ella, sweetheart, there's nothing

that I can do about that

so can you please do Mommy a big favor

and just use the boys' bathroom?

And don't pay attention
to Brian O'Donnell.

His mother's famous
jubilee cake is from a mix.

Are you avoiding me now?

Nah, just busy.

Right, busy findings ways of
not talking to me.

Come on, cut the crap.
What's goin' on?

Actually, nothin' is.
I've thought about it.

And for right now, us taking a break

from each other actually works for me.

Does it matter what works for me?

Well, good to know.

Can I have my blue cards?

Nina! Nina! Nina!

It's Gary. Look, the guy needs a job.

'He's here like twice a week.'

Oh, stop. He's a bigger
fan of me than you are.

I got it. I got it. It's all good.

I'm going to the show!

Oh, hey, Heath. I'm starting
my Christmas list early.

What size knee pads do you wear?

Oh, I'm a size go fudge yourself.

They're all of those, but they
have plenty in size whore.

Cecile.

Oh, hi. I'm just here for a second.

I forgot my makeup bag.
Nice to see y'all.

Can you believe that
Kibby still hasn't apologized

for calling me that horrible name?

I'm sure you will work it out. Bye.

No, no, you can't just leave.
This is all your fault.

'You and your alpha woman advice
made her feel like'

she can conquer anything
including my sober coach's dick.

- Maxine.
- Cecile, you were fantastic.

- Come back anytime.
- Oh, no.

I mean, I am so busy.

Thanks to you guys
I'm goin' on a book tour.

And Tina Fey is developing
"Alpha Woman" into a movie.

So, um, bye, bitches,
and I say that with love.

Peace.

I really am gonna miss her.

She was the best guest co-host ever.

Janet Mock, you're gonna be
the best guest co-host ever.

Janet interviewed me for "People".

Actually, Kibby, it was "Marie Claire".

Oh, yeah, I don't remember.
I was wasted.

You're, you're...

Yes, Heather, she's our
first trans co-host.

Don't freak out.

I was gonna say you're so beautiful.

Thank you. I'm so excited for this week.

Janet, I watch your show all the time.

- You have your own show?
- It's on MSNBC.

But I think that network
is blocked in your home.

Oh, well, for that witch Rachel Maddow

but I will definitely watch you.

Do you have a stylist or do you
pick out your own clothes?

I usually pick out my own stuff.

What about you? I love that.

- Oh, thank you...
- Gross.

Heather's making Janet
think she's her BFF.

But just wait, as soon
as the camera start rolling

she's gonna go right-wing on her ass.

She is so manipulative.

I love it.

In all my years reporting the news

I've interviewed presidents,
princes, and pop stars.

But there are other voices
that I wanted to be heard.

So a decade ago, I created a show

where women could sit down
and say what's on their minds.

And, boy, do they ever!

We have a real slice of American pie

who puts faith and family first.

A Pulitzer prize winning journalist

with a passion for justice.

A child star who is all grown up.

Her POV is OMG.

And featuring special
guest host, Janet Mock.

And me, Maxine Robinson.

I'm in the left chair everyday at noon

on "The Lunch Hour"
where no topic is taboo.

Hello everyone and welcome
to the "The Lunch Hour."

Look who we have joining us for lunch

the lovely Janet Mock.

It is such an honor
to be here amongst women

who continue to inspire
me to tell my truth

and dish some celebrity dirt.

We're, we're about to get
into some hot gossipin'.

Sadly, one of our own is a cover story.

Heather, would you like
to say something?

Thank you, Maxine.

This is a very difficult
time for our family

and we would appreciate our privacy...

and your prayers.

Well, if it's any consolation,
you're not alone, Heather.

So many celebrity couples are throwing

gossip grenades at each other.

Oh, it's just legal strategy.

Lawyers always make stuff up,
so your ex looks bad.

But you know who really gets hurt

in these nasty custody cases?

It's, it's the children.

You know what, Heather,
I actually agree with you.

Wow, bizarro.

But why go to court and through

all of this ugliness
when 70% of the time

judges are gonna award custody
to the primary caregiver?

So in the case of celebrities,
you mean the nanny?

No, I mean the mother.

So, Nina, are you saying that

70% of the time the mother gets custody?

Isn't that very, very high?

Check it out. It's a fact.

But what if the father seeks custody?

Won't the court often grant it to him?

Only if the mother is unfit.

Not to mention,
I mean, the mother plays

a more significant role
in the early stages

of the child's development.

- Truth! Whoo!
- Thank you.

Well, not to contradict the enthusiastic

audience member out there,
but all parents

are important to a child's
early development, right?

You know, all of these marriages

breaking up is really depressing.

Let's move on to something
a little less personal.

Janet, are you happy?

I mean, would you say
that you're a happy person?

- Yes, I'm actually very happy.
- Oh, God. Here we go.

I am so glad to hear that.

That makes me feel so much
better for you.

Thanks.

- Great show today, Heather.
- Thank you.

For everyone except you.
You sucked.

- Lay off Janet.
- What are you talking about?

I just had some questions. I'm curious.

Luckily, we ran out of time
before you could ask her

what kind of parts she has.

Why can't you just let people
be their authentic selves?

Don't you dare lecture me
about authenticity.

Do you know how hard it is
for me to go out there

and talk about my beliefs
in front of people like you?

Yeah, it must be hard for you
to be so wrong all the time.

Don't make assumptions about someone

until you walked a mile in their shoes.

I wouldn't walk two feet in your shoes.

Or your dress or your hair.

Well, if we're going there

I wouldn't be caught dead in your...

Who am I kidding?
You can pull off anything.

But I'm not gonna judge you for that

because I'm a practicing Christian.

Something you might wanna look into.

Just lay off Janet.

What a day I've had.

Well, you carry it well.

I met with that detective this morning

and everything, all the
questions have been put to bed.

- Oh, let's hope so.
- Everything's under control.

We can relax.

So how about you bring
my package upstairs?

I'd love to

but I have a big problem.

My mother's in town.

Willy.

When Willy told me that
the Maxine Robinson lived

in this building, I swear to you
I was gonna set up a tent

in the lobby just to
get a glimpse of you.

- Mom!
- It's true. Come give me a hug.

Well, I'm not really
much of a hugger, but... Oh!

Well, uh, I guess we're hugging.

Hmm, Willy was right.

Mm, rich people do smell good.

- What, mum? I never said that.
- You said it.

He also told me
about your little secret.

What, what secret?

Well, Willy gets the newspaper

from the nasty neighbors every
morning and gives it to you.

- Oh.
- Yes.

I'll give you all the tea in exchange

for two tickets for "The Lunch Hour".

I'm sure the show is booked
weeks in advance.

- You can't just...
- William.

We'd love to have you.

Why don't you swing
by the show tomorrow?

Oh, thank you, darling.

Would you like to come with me, Willy?

Uh, sure, I-I guess.

- I'm sure I could swap shifts.
- Good.

Oh, and by the way

you better not give me no cheap seats.

That's Gloria.

Mom.

You know I can't approve this new couch.

When I say keep a close eye on
expenses, I mean other people's.

I need this couch.

This couch is durable and vomit-proof.

Not like this one.

Are you plannin' on throwin' up?

No, but your baby is.

When my grandchild comes and
visits me daily after the show.

Hopefully, unless Nina has full custody.

Did you hear what she was saying
yesterday at the round table?

I usually just tune you guys out

'cause after five years
of producing this show

it's all blah, blah, blah,
best jeans for your body

blah, blah, blah, yeast infections suck

blah, blah, blah, women rule.

Well, that blah, blah, blah
pays your bills, bills, bills.

Now, listen, what Nina said yesterday

about mother's rights
was very disturbing.

I think you should talk to a lawyer.

- Come on, mom. That's crazy.
- You need to protect yourself.

And me. I'm not gonna be
one of those grandmothers

that sees her grandchild
every other Christmas.

Nina might be intense and complicated

but she would never
keep me away from my baby.

I have been around long enough to know

that people can do crazy things.

And when it comes to family,
they can act in ways

you could never expect.

Trust me.

It's time for you to lawyer up.

I'm gettin' this couch.

Hon, would you mind making my hair

look a little extra whorish?

Yeah, and for mine, could you make it

extra hypocritical and full of shit?

I'm sure Heather can
give you some pointers.

You guys, can you please take an Ambien

and put this feud to rest?

Oh, Ambien. Kibby, didn't you get a DUI

for driving on that?

Hey, "Lacey From Outer Spacey"

guess who's coming to our show.

- Your TV dad.
- Vance?

- Yeah. Vance Gordon.
- Really? Wow!

Yeah, he's coming to promote
some pretentious

HBO mini-series, so we'll talk about it

for exactly one minute and move
into the big "Lacey" reunion.

- The fans will eat it up.
- Yum. Sounds like a blast.

Maybe I should ask Vance for
some pointers while he's here.

On what?

How to work with someone
who's so unprofessional.

Because you looked so
professional icing Julian's D?

Okay, enough, both of you.

Oh, Kibby, stop slut shaming

and, Heather, I can't
believe you did that.

I didn't suck Julian's D.

Okay.

Nina, can I talk to you for a second?

- Sure.
- No.

Don't leave me alone with her.

Look, whatever happens between us

it's gonna be 50-50 when it
comes to the baby, right?

- Of course.
- Good.

- Whenever possible.
- What does that mean?

Well, in a perfect world, we would make

every decision together,
but that's not realistic.

- So I'll have primary custody.
- Wait, Nina.

I'm gonna be involved in my kid's life.

Of course, you will.
I'll set up visitation...

Visitation? I'm not gonna
be some weekend dad.

- I promise you you won't.
- And how do I know that?

Because I give you my word.

We both know that doesn't
count for anything.

Wow, Shawn, that's really low.

- I'm gettin' a lawyer.
- You really wanna go there?

I'm just bein' smart.

Well, then maybe
the smart thing for me to do

would be to get a lawyer too.

Do what you need to do.

Great job, everyone.

Nah. It was just okay.

Nina seems as if she was phoning hers in

and that warm-up guy, my
goodness, he was quite annoying.

- Mom.
- Well, hello, Gloria.

I see you helped yourself
with some swag bags.

- Oh, yes, a bunch of crap.
- Mom.

Maybe you should thank Maxine
for inviting you today.

Thank you, darling. Now, tell me
about tomorrow's show.

Aren't you gonna have audience
giveaways like Oprah did

when she's sayin' you get
a car, you get a car

and you get a car.

She also socked everyone
with a $7000 tax bill

but does anyone remember that?

Anyway, we would love
to have you back tomorrow

and maybe you can even meet
some of the co-hosts.

Oh, it's not about the co-host.

I wanna meet that Mo.

Well, that Mo is gone forever.

What a shame.

Well, I'm gonna come back
tomorrow anyway.

But right now, I'm gonna take
a selfie in the left chair.

I see she's quite the original.

Now you know how I'm able
to put up with you.

You wanna touch it, don't you?

- Can I?
- No.

Great job today, Janet.

You really bought a fresh perspective.

- Any trolls yet?
- Well, no more than the usual.

Well, Gary sure hasn't left me alone.

Forty-three messages from one
person, that's a lot, right?

Huh, that's like a slow day for me.

You should have seen the reaction

when I posted my wedding pictures.

- You're married?
- Blissfully.

He's my best friend
and so good to look at.

When I first started on the show

the trolls liked to call me
a slutty train wreck.

- Hmm, they still do.
- Bite me bitch.

So it doesn't bother you
what people say?

No, I've been dealing
with ignorance my entire life.

Really? And, like, in school

did teachers understand
what you were going through?

No, it was a different time.

You know, Caitlyn
hadn't transitioned yet

and trans-parent wasn't streaming then.

It must have been very difficult
for you growing up.

Yeah, but you know,
I was lucky I had parents

who were there for me and
wouldn't take crap from anyone.

Their love's the reason
why I turned out okay

and got all this sickening hair.

- Oh, it's so...
- No.

Here it is the "Lacey From Outer
Spacey" trivia wheel.

Oh, wow, amazing.

So we'll find who knows
more about Lacey, you or Vance.

Gee, I better take my memory pill.

Oh, God. Was that an episode?

Put that in.

I've actually never
really seen her show.

Hello.

Kibby?

I don't want you on the show,
I don't want you here.

Kibby, I'm sorry you're upset...

Listen to me, Vance.

You need stay away.
I don't care what you have to do

to get out of it, but make sure
you don't come anywhere near me.

So you served Maxine
Robinson and her family

the night that her husband died?

Yes, and I know what you're thinking.

How am I still a waiter
at Mil Morel 11 years later?

And, look, sometimes I wonder that too.

But in the past year, I've gotten a lot

of really good auditions
and I think it's just...

That's great, really is and
I'm sure it'll happen for ya.

But I'm really just here
to talk about that night.

You remember any of the conversation?

Are you kidding?

I was eavesdropping the entire time.

It was Maxine Robinson!

Fantastic. Um, was there anything

in particular that stood out to you?

Things got pretty heated.
Like Shawn got up from the table

and looked like he was going
to fight him, but then

Queen Maxine stepped in
and saved the day.

Sounds like a typical
loving family dinner?

Right, and it's just so sad

that her husband, like,
died two hours later.

So you were saying
Shawn was really angry?

It was borderline scary.

Mm, my homemade sweet potato pie.

It's so good it'll make
you smack your mama.

Don't give me any ideas.

I would love a piece, but
we're we making a cardamom cake

on the show and I have to take
a bite for the audience.

Cardamom, who? Child, please,
you got a pie audience.

I just need to be here with you
guys. Let me be on the show.

- Uh, makeup, hair.
- Mom, you can't do that.

I'm sorry, Gloria,
but we book our guests

for our show months in advance.

But can't you make an exception?

We're sort of like family.

Ooh. Hi.

Uh, this is William
and his mother, Gloria.

- Hi.
- It's nice to meet you all.

How do you know Maxine?

William is the doorman in my building.

Hm, that's what we're calling it now.

Uh, Nina, did you get a piece?

Oh, uh, I have two.

She's pregnant.
The baby will be mixed race.

Who knew Maxine was so
friendly with her doorman?

Who knew Maxine was
friendly with anyone?

I love this pumpkin pie.

Baby girl, that's sweet potato pie.

Yeah, I really felt
the best jeans for my body are...

Uh, don't tell me. All jeans?

I'm more of a dress girl myself.

Really? So you never wear pants?

Nina, Nina, why did you block
me? I thought we were friends.

- Security!
- That wasn't very nice.

Security!

Nina! Nina! Nina!

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

Uh, here's a video
from our high-heel jogathon.

Hey, he's outta here.

Are you okay?

I'm fine, Shawn. Thanks.

Okay. Alright, we're
back in three, two...

We apologize for the interruption

but sometimes our "Lunch Hour" fans

simply can't control themselves.

Sometimes obsession is just
another form of flattery.

Well, one that we could do without.

But while we're on the topic
of obsession

Janet, your book is amazing.

Ah, thank you.
Girl lives for a good plug.

"Redefining Realness"
is such a great title

So when did you know
that you were a girl?

Oh, Heather, I've always
known I was a girl.

Exactly, because like you said and...

So do you have a lot of friends?

I mean, I mean,
from your, your community.

I have friends from lots of communities.

I think it's interesting that you talked

about the misconceptions
that people have...

I'm so sorry, I don't
mean to be intrusive

but it's so fascinating to me.

So when did you change

uh... physically?

My goodness, Heather, judging
by all the questions you have

it sounds like you're working
through your own gender issues.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm definitely a real girl.

Just as real as you are, girl.

Except you're a real idiot.

And we'll be right back.

Great job yesterday, Heather.
You pissed off a transperson.

- Your career is basically over.
- So are your 20s.

Bitch, I'm 24.

I hate you.

Sweetheart, I have some bad news.

Oh, Heather is still a co-host?

Are we still doing this?

I'll stop when she stops
being a terrible person.

Kibby, I'm sorry, but Vance
Gordon had to cancel.

He had a last-minute
scheduling conflict.

Oh, bummer, that was gonna be so fun.

But no worries,
we can repurpose the wheel.

How about the wheel of misfortune

for next month's segment on STDs?

Great idea.

I know you were really looking
forward to this reunion.

Yeah, it was gonna be
awesome to see him again.

It's been so long.

Well, we'll try to reschedule.

Can't wait.

Mm.

Hey, do you see the sign?

No food, no smoke, no sex.

Please, just one more bite.

Oh, come on, this is my breakfast kebab.

I'm pregnant. I'm starving,
and I need my iron.

Oh.

Oh, baby daddy. He's probably
calling to apologize.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, I was just calling
to make sure you're doing okay

after our buddy Gary decided
to make a cameo yesterday.

Well, thank you.
Yeah, I'm fine.

- I'll see you at work?
- Oh, hey, hey.

Uh, are you, uh, are you
available next Thursday at 2:00?

Sure. For what?

My lawyer wants to start
a conversation about custody

and I don't want things
to drag on and get contentious.

Oh, so we're doing this now?

I mean, Nina, we're up
against the clock here.

I'd like to have this settled
before my baby arrives.

Our baby is not due for months

and it's too late for this
to not get contentious.

My lawyer and I
will definitely be there.

Then it's a date.

That obviously wasn't an apology.

Fine, eat your kebab.
Just no crying.

Maxine, I feel terrible

about my insensitive comments yesterday.

Do you genuinely feel
terrible or is just because

of the backlash 'cause every
LGBTQ group is P for pissed?

Well, honestly, I-I wasn't
being anti-transpeople

women phobic or...

At least not intentionally.

Okay, how about you take
the top of the show

and apologize to Janet?

Thank you.

And make sure
you apologize to her privately.

- I've tried, I...
- Well, try harder.

Women are stubborn.

Nina, we need to talk.

- Gary.
- Why did you block me?

- I thought we were friends.
- How did you get in here?

Your security sucks.
You really hurt my feelings.

When you did that piece on bullying

I thought you were standing up
for me and now my...

Gary, let's just get off of
the elevator and I can help you

with whatever it is
that you need help with.

- No, um, let's take a selfie.
- What?

Let's, uh, let's take a selfie
and, um, then you could post it

everywhere and everyone
will know that we're friends.

Okay, let's just get out

and I can take as many
selfies as you want.

Why are you making this hard?
Okay, smile. Okay.

Let's have fun.
Let's have fun. Scary one.

Let's do a scary one.

Oh, I see they got you
your backstage pass.

That was very kind of you, Ms. Robinson.

Yes, do you give this VIP treatment

to the all the doormen's mommas?

I didn't think so because
no one is as cute as my son.

- Let me show you the mainstage.
- Hmm.

- You Shawn Robinson?
- Yeah.

Detective Stagliano,
your, your mom invited me

to stop by the show sometime, so...

Okay, she seems to
be doing that a lot lately.

Yeah, yeah, just, uh, wanted
to ask you a few questions

about Ted Windsor's death.

I don't know how I can help you.

Plus, the timing's not great.
We're about to go on air soon.

I'm more than happy
to schedule a sit-down

at the station if you like.

You and your mom,
uh, you seem very close.

Of course.

Were you close
at the time of Ted's death?

We've always been tight.

What about your relationship with Ted?

- Shawn, we can't find Nina.
- What do you mean?

She's not here and she's not
answering her phone.

Detective, I gotta handle this.
How about I give you a call?

I don't mind stickin' around.

And this beats hanging out in
the smelly squad room any day.

Hey, are those eggrolls
they're putting out there?

Yeah, knock yourself out.

- Yeah, thanks.
- Yeah.

Hey, Nina, not cool.

This better not be
some sort of power play

because you know I'm gettin' a lawyer.

This is totally unprofessional.

Sir, Nina's stuck
on the elevator with that guy

we kicked out of the studio yesterday.

Jesus. Come on.

- How long has she been there?
- No more than a few minutes.

Why the hell isn't she
off the elevator yet?

- We're workin' on it, Sir.
- Work faster.

- Mom, we have a problem.
- I heard.

You look like you're being
held hostage in all of these.

It's a good thing I have backups. Look.

I want pictures like that.

That's what I want, okay? Like that.

To be honest, you've been acting

very weird since we
got back from Hawaii.

Gary, why are you doing this?

Because you don't listen.

See, I-I've sent you
like a million messages

and you never responded and...

It really hurts my feelings.

You're right, you're right.

I'm sorry. I should've responded

and I should've taken the time
to hear you out...

Nobody ever listens to me.

I thought you were different.

Um, Gary...

so tell me,
did we have fun in Hawaii?

Don't treat me like I'm crazy.

Does this look I'm crazy? Snorkeling?

- We have to cancel the show.
- Uh, no, I-I wouldn't.

Crazy fans feed on attention.

The more contained we keep it,
the better.

Don't worry, Shawn.
I got the show covered.

Fine.

What are we gonna tell
the other co-hosts?

Nina is stuck in traffic.

Oh, no. Who's gonna make us
feel intellectually inferior?

- I got you, boo.
- So let's have a great show.

Janet, before we go out
there, there's just

there's something that I need to say.

No need. I got your number.

No, you don't.

You really, you really
don't have my number.

I know that I was asking you
a lot of questions, but...

it's not because I'm judging you.

You're totally judging.

- I'm not judging.
- Ladies.

Please, you beat out
the governor of North Carolina

for transphobe of the year.

I'm not transphobic.

I'm not.

My son is...

Well, I guess that he's my daughter.

She's my daughter.

She's a... a trans.

Brad Junior?

Ella.

Oh, Heather.

It's the first time
you said it out loud.

Yes.

"The Lunch Hour" starts now.

And here they are,
Maxine, Kibby, Heather

and special guest co-host Janet Mock.

We're short a co-host,
so watch the wide.

Hello and welcome...

Shawn's not here, someone
has to step up and I'm head PA.

Heather, is there something
you'd like to say?

Thank you. Yesterday, I made
some thoughtless comments

that were, uh... offensive.

Look, if people get so tripped up about

how to talk about things,
no one will talk about anything.

Mistakes happen.
It's okay to be trans-ignorant.

It's never okay to be transphobic.

Now that we've settled that,
can we talk about something

that's really bugging me?

Millennials dying their hair gray.

Right. I mean, if you wait
long enough, it will happen.

For free.

When I found out they were throwin' away

all of this good food
at the end of every show

I said uh-uh. I'm takin' it home.

Now grab that jam jar because
if it's open, they'll toss too.

Mom, you're not taking any of this.

It's nice to see Maxine's so friendly

with her building staff.

Friendly? I got a feeling

my son is opening
more than doors for her.

- Mom.
- Detective.

What are you doing here?

There she is, the woman who's too good

to admit she's dating my son.

- Mom, for God's sake.
- What are you talking about?

Dating?

Uh, William is my doorman.

I buy him a ham every Easter.

Ham my ass.

Just because you have
this big old TV show

does not mean
you're better than my son.

Just a few days ago,
you didn't even know his name.

- That's very interesting?
- Okay, everyone, we're back.

Excuse me, detective, but, uh

one of us has to go and do their job.

Open the goddamn door.

Just move back and let us do our job.

And then my Boss accuses me of stealing?

Which I wasn't,
and I tried to tell him that

but he wouldn't listen, you know.

He just doesn't listen.

I understand how frustrated you are.

Did you know that
every day on this show

Heather doesn't listen to a word I say?

She should. She should.

Exactly.

Welcome back, uh, and now we're going

from trans talk to our favorite
segment, trash talk.

Yay, finally.

What celebrities are hooking up?

Oh, this is gonna be so much fun

without Nina telling us we're shallow.

Why shouldn't there be
paid maternity leave

gun control
and mental healthcare for all?

- Absolutely.
- Right.

Well, according to "Celebrity Fever"

Selena Gomez might have a new beau.

Oh, that's old news. I have the scoop

and it involves someone
you know very, very well.

Me.

Camera 3, push in on Maxine.

I want you all to
be the first to know that

I am happily dating...

Ooh, ooh, let me guess.
You're dating Stedman.

Yeah, it has your picture of you
with him at the Image Awards

and Oprah was enraged and slapped you?

- What?
- Kibby, none of that's true.

And no, I'm not dating Stedman

and neither is Oprah.

Shade.

I am dating a wonderful man,
William McCann.

William McCann is my doorman.

And although I've known him
for many years

we only became a couple
a little while ago.

- Holy shit.
- I knew it.

My son could never hide
anything from me.

Well, congratulations.

She's quite a catch.

I think we really understand
each other, Gary.

You need to keep speaking up. Okay?

Everybody needs to be heard.

Shut up, although now
when I think about it

your doorman is pretty hot.

I think we got her.

I want him cuffed and detained.

We're friends, it's okay. Nina. Nina.

No, Gary, friends don't hold
friends hostage.

Look, I hope you get the help
that you need and...

- If you need an advocate, I...
- You'll help me?

I can recommend someone.

- Nina, Nina.
- Come on.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm just...

I'm a little rattled.

- But I'm okay.
- Look, Nina, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean any
of that crap I said before.

Listen, I don't, I don't
know what we are...

but we're something.

We are.

So what do we do?

How about until we figure it
out, we call off the lawyers?

That works.

And do me a favor.

Don't listen to your messages.

And they just carried Gary away?

I feel bad for him.

Well, as bad as you can feel for someone

who's crazy and trying to kill you.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, I'm, I'm fine.

So come on, tell me.
What did I miss?

Well, you know, the ushe,
we talked about body image

and men being terrible
and Maxine's dating her doorman

and Heather's kid is trans.

What, oh, wait, what?

Uh, Nina, come with me.

I've got a doctor waiting for you.

- Oh, Maxine...
- I don't wanna hear it.

Okay.

It's my grandchild in there.

Are you really dating your doorman?

It's a long story.

Uh, Heather, wait.

I thought Ella might like this.

Little girls love sparkly
things in their hair.

I know I did.

Kibby.

Ella will really like this.

Well, give me a hug, you whore.

Ramona, hey, uh, great job
today. These are for you.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

This has been the best day of my life.

That is so sad. Mm.

So...

You and William.

I've got like a million
questions to most of which

- I don't wanna know the answer to.
- Good.

Cheers to another crappy day.

So, um...

I saw you talking to that detective.

Yeah. He was all over me

about what I was doing
the night that Ted died.

But then all that stuff
happened with Nina...

We're gonna need to talk.

You know

I, I still think about
that night all the time.

It's hard not to.

You lyin' piece of shit,
where's my money? It's all gone!

- Calm down.
- What did you do?

You know, you're a spoiled brat
who runs to mommy

to clean up all of your messes.

Don't you put your hands on me!

- Shawn, come on, come on.
- You get control of him.

Don't you ever talk
to my son like that again.

Honey, it wasn't your fault.

You're damn right

and I don't feel a bit guilty.

It's so pretty.

Why don't you put it on?

But we're not at home.

Mommy's changing the rules a little.

From now on,
you get to be you anywhere.

And we're gonna start
looking for a new school.

And until then Mommy is going
to homeschool you.

Good, you can help me
with long division.

Thank you very much.

All my mother can talk about now

is how Maxine Robinson
is her daughter-in-law.

Evidently, we're doing Thanksgiving
at your house in Aspen.

Sorry, my hand was forced.

By the detective or my mother?

No, honestly, they both scare
the hell out of me.

If they find out we were
together the night that Ted died

it'll look like an episode
of "Dateline".

Two passionate lovers driven to madness.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

But instead you're the guy
who was right under my nose for years

who I suddenly saw for the first time.

You're such a romantic.

Well, William, isn't it
time we went public?

I mean, look at us.
Who else do I show my Spanx to?

I like to spank your Spanx.

But I just would have liked
to have been told

before you told the whole world.

Well, not the whole world,
just 2.5 million US

and another 5 million worldwide.

Look, darling, I'm unpredictable.

It's one of the things
you love about me.

You do keep people guessing.

Next time on Daytime Divas...

Ne Hey, Max,
happy to see me?.."

Hi, Star Jones.

I'd watch my back
if I were you, little girl.

It's just an honor to be nominated.

We don't win. We never win.

- Hi.
- Brad, what are you doing here?

- Kibby, it's your space dad.
- There's my girl.

What is this I hear
about "Morning Talk"?

They made an offer.

So make a choice, Jason.
You want Mo or you want me?

I have an appointment
with that detective tomorrow.

Oh, there's no need to worry.
You know what to say.

My mom is lying to me
about something important

and I don't know what to do about it.

Mind your own goddamn business.

synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*