Original subtitles

Edited at https://subtitletools.com

Stephen! Stop pacing! Eric will get us the tickets.

Stop pacing?! These tickets are to Led Zeppelin!

The band that defines our generation.

Besides this concert's going to be the greatest show of all time. I know!

The music. The lights. The costumes!

This is gonna be just like the fashion show at the mall!

What?

It is! And besides...

A Zeppelin made out of lead wouldn't even fly! It makes no sense.

Honey, I've never seen you like this. Usually your so....

Mellow?

High! Look. It's no big deal. A year from now no one will even know who these guys are.

Are you out of your teeny boppin' mind?

You just don't get it do you?

Well, maybe you need to be calmed down a little while you wait

[sing song style] I'm going to do my very best and it ain't no lie.

[sing song style] If you put me to the test. If you just let me try.

Are you quoting Abba?

Stephen, I'm still free.

Take a chance on me.

Shut up Jackie.

You know you're cuter when you don't talk.

We gonna do it.

Yes we are.

It feels so good

Yeah. Just like that.

You settling down now? Yeah, it feels so good.

Make you feel good baby? Yeah, so damn good!

What about me? What about you?

It's your turn. Oh, yeah.

Sit up baby.

Oh Steven!

Oh gosh!

Kelso sucked at this!

Keep going.

Oh Steven!

You wanna sit on this baby?

Oh, just open up that tight pussy!

Grind that dick!

Is that good? Oh yeah.

You wanna suck that dick baby?

My turn.

Oh

It feels so good!

Yes. Pull me in closer.

Oh Steven, you're so good to me!

Your pussy is so good Thank you honey.

Your dick feels good too.

I know what would make your stress go down. What's that?

If I let you put it anywhere. Really?!

Put it in your ass?

If you want to? Yes!

Be gentle.

Oh Steven!

Oh yes!

Oh, you're making me shake!

Oh Steven is that normal?

Hell yeah!

You're doing a great job!

Oh that feels so intense!

You like that? Yes.

Are you not stressed anymore?

Mmm hmm. Getting better.

Not worried about those tickets? No!

I hope you're enjoying the view.

Oh yes! Give it to me puddin' pop!

Oh I can't believe I'm messing up my hair for you!

Can we change? You wanna change positions?

There you go.

You coming baby?

I didn't know that...was possible.

I love you so much! I love you too baby!

You need to prove your love to me like this all the time!

I love how you make me shake.

I want you to come for me. Yeah?

You gonna come? You want me to come? Yeah.

Get on your knees baby.

Wanna girgle that baby?

Steven, that tasted awful!

I gotta go make a sandwich.

Steven, you got it in my hair!

Shut up Jackie!

Got 'em. How in the hell did you score us these tickets, Foreman?

Zeppelin's been sold out for months.

I have my ways. My hypnotizing gaze.

My sweet ass. Giant bulge in the front.

Scalpers can't resist my charms.

You paid full price...plus 30%, didn't you?

This is gonna be amazing.

As soon as Plant starts belting out "A Whole Lotta Love"...

...Eric, you might lose me.

Is she kidding? If my girlfriend blew Led Zeppelin, I'd be there snapping photos.

[Audience laughter]

Kelso, why you so excited? You only like disco.

Hello! Groupies!

We're gonna fuck groupies!

How are you going to do that Michael?

Me and Fez are going to dress up like the band...

...and trick the girls into fucking us thinking we're the band!

[Audience Laughter] Check this out!

You see, I'm Johnny Page!

You look like a Carol King impersonator at a drag show.

Who's Fez dressed as, James Brown?

I'm a premier rock star.

A member of the Led Zeppelin.

Fez, you're dressed like the wrong band.

You look like a member of the Kiss Army.

Please, innocent big-boobed Donna...

...I'm dressed like a musician.

Not military.

Now we can go to the concert.

Hyde!

Oh my god, you're both idiots.

Forgot the tickets. Getting the tickets.

Got the tickets. Going to the concert.

This is great!

This is amazing!

This is incredible!

It smells like Foreman's basement.

This sucks!

This is the sucks.

Why don't these beautiful groupies come to us Kelso?

I don't get it Fez. We got our wigs on.

Check. You got your rock star boots on. Check.

We have our salamis.

Fez, I lost my salami.

Where's my salami?

I believe it made its way into someone's mouth.

Where'd you get that?

I found it on the ground.

Can I have that back please, it was in my pants!

Give me that!

Hey! You likin' the show?

And by liking the show, I mean this rock hard party in my pants?

Ahhh!

She did not like the party in your pants, Kelso.

Well you think you can do any better?

Yes I do.

Excuse me, miss. I'm sorry for my friend.

He does not know how to speak to such a beautiful slut like you.

Ahhh! Burn!

Ow, my eye!

What the hell was that for?

I don't know. Everyone else seems to be doing it.

Oh yeah.

We'll see you guys after.

Where you guys going?

Oh, we're going backstage to see the band.

No one's allowed to see the band but groupies.

Ah, one, two, Donna would you say that 2 makes a group?

Yes, I'd say that Eric.

Later. Groupies.

Oh my god, we're going to meet the golden god!

Donna, I'm right here.

If you're a golden god, then I'm a golden retriever.

Whore!

Burn.

Hey, the bands offstage. Just a heads up.

Sorry, I got up in the moment there.

I've got room for one of you back there. Who's it gonna be?

You. Chesty red-head.

Thanks but I was just puffing my chest out.

It's a little bit of an optical illusion. And the hair is auburn, not red.

But I'll forgive you since we're going to meet the band.

Not you. Her.

Donna!

Eric, I'm sorry.

I can get you a signed poster.

Alright. Just go meet the band.

But I love you.

I'll stay. Do you want me not to go?

No. No. No. No. Go!

Got meet the band, my idols.

No go. Enjoy yourself. Meet the band.

Get me a picture, will you?

Hey.

You enjoyed that kiss. The next one will have my load in it.

Excuse me, aren't you going to take me to the band's dressing room?

Patience, baby, you get to meet the band after...

...we get to meet your mouth. If you know what I mean.

I don't know what you mean, jerk.

But this mouth...belongs to a boyfriend.

Look sweetie, how would your boyfriend fill if you gave up the only chance you had...

...to meet his favorite band?

Yeah. They're the band that defines a generation.

They're the greatest show of all time.

I don't know.

Alright, we understand your dilemma.

Hey Eddie, where we gonna find another girl that's willing to blow us?

...in order to see Jimmy Page and Robert Plant?

Hold on. I believe there's a thousand of them over at the door.

Yeah maybe that brunette, I saw.

Wait a second.

Alright just go meet the band.

But I love...

Fine. But Eric...

Give me some fucking come!

Come all over my tits.

OK. Since I blew all of you, you going to take me to see the band?

Oh band. We don't know the band. That's funny.

We're the cleaning crew.

Let's get back to work, guys.

Did you meet Led Zeppelin?

Sure did.

How was it? I wanna hear everything.

How do you think it was? It was amazing.

I think, shaking their hand I gotta contact high.

Did you get any pictures?

Does Sanford have a son? Does George Jefferson have a dry cleaning business?

Yes she got the pictures! Right Donna? Right.

After I tape the rest of the pictures on the wall...

I'll take them to photo shop to get them developed.

And wait 3 weeks to get them developed.

Modern technology.

Let's get out of here.

Hey guys! Hi.

Yeah whatever.

I see you're a rock band aren't you?

Why yes...and in a very popular band.

You can tell by my hand....my boots.

And the very large bulge in the front of my pants.

Exactly! Wanna get out of here and get loose?

I'm already loose.

And I can tell you are really loose too.

Let's go to your mansion.

Oh yes, my rock star mansion is a good place.

But instead, let's go to my rock star middle class duplex.

My rock star mansion is being renovated.

What are you doing to it?

I'm putting in a trophy room full of guitars.

...groupies...and boots.

Oh, that sounds hot!

Let's go.

Fez...the rock star!

Hey right back at you cool guy!

Ha! Ha!

Unbelievable!

Oh Steven!

What?

Nothing. I'm just really glad you got me those photos.

Not a problem.

No seriously. Big deal. Kind of gives me a boner thinking about it.

Thinking maybe we could go upstairs, play a little...

...backstage ass!

Get off my back Eric!

What do you not believe me? I met the band last night.

Find then. I'll just go upstairs and play air guitar with my penis!

You are very welcome Eric.

Mmmm. So you want to show me around your pad?

I would like to show you around my pad very much.

Mmm. Then you can show me around your cock!

Unbelievable!

Wow. This is a pretty nice place here.

Oh, you like that.

Oh, don't go in there.

There are so many wild rock star foods in there.

Wow! Like this.

Oh yes. My rock star mayonnaise.

OK. Oh.

What about these?

Oh. My rock star left over tacos.

Yummy.

And...what is this?

My rock star salami?

Mmm. Can I eat your rock star salami?

Let me think about it.

Yes!

Yes!

Your salami's making my mouth water!

So good!

So good. Mmm hmm.

Oh my god. Your big cock is making my pussy so wet.

I got to put it in there really bad! I want it!

Want some of this pussy?

Oh it's so wet for you.

Put it in my wet pussy.

Just like that!

Just like that! Right on my G spot!

Let me taste my come on your cock.

Yeah, I want that back in there.

Oh, nice and deep!

Yes. You like that ass bouncing on your cock?

That cock is so good!

Oh. You know what? This salami is so good!

I need it in my ass! You want to put it in there?

Oh yes!

You want this big cock in my tight little ass?

You want it don't you?

I want you to fuck me from behind!

I want my ass against you cock.

Stick it back in there.

Oh my god, I can't believe I just got rock star come!

Yes you did.

All over me.

I can't wait to tell all my friends.

Your famous!

What Kitty?

Red, Eric is clearly upset. You need to have a talk with him.

A little mano to mano.

Now why the hell would I want to do that?

Red, you're his father!

I guess anything's possible.

Red!

He probably just needs to cool down.

And I probably need to just get back to watching this game. And drinking my beer!

Red Foreman!

Look Kitty, I'm just not going to do it.

Fuck you, no fucking way!

Red, if you don't go have a talk with Eric...

...they'll be no fucking way for you.

What you're not going to have sex with me again?

No more coach and cheer leader Tuesdays.

But if I do this...you'll let me...

Ha ha ha ha ha.

So. Your mother's forced me to talk to you.

Thanks dad. I love you too.

Don't be a smart ass!

Dumb ass!

Look. There's these birds and bees and they both fly.

And they both have wieners and vaginas.

Thanks dad. I kind of got that part.

Well then, good talk. Hey dad?

What is it now?

Well its just that we went to the concert the other night, and...

...Donna got to meet the band.

I figured she'd be a little more excited or at least a little more...

A little more what? A little more quiet?

A little more in shape?

A little more agreeable to let you watch the damn football game?

And drink a damn beer!

Instead of talking to your son about feelings and crap like that!

Ah, no dad. Nothing as insulting as all those things.

I meant like...a little more...frisky.

Oh. Oh. Frisky.

Well, when I want your mother to dock the ol' meat canoe...

...I flirt a bit. You know show her...

..charm.

And that works?

Well if it doesn't, I just let her know who the man is.

And who the woman is.

And things get pretty hot right about then.

When it becomes clear that one of us is the boss.

Mom, isn't it dad?

Yes sir.

And if you want your dick sucked, that is how you have to play it sometimes.

Thanks dad for that horrible image in my mind.

No problem.

Oh. And good luck with that. Thanks.

I'm going down to get some from your mother now.

Kitty! The coach is coming!

And he's got a whistle for you to blow!

Pucker up!

Can you believe the sale they're having on that?

Oh, I guess we...are in a freaking mood.

Come on over here.

You're quite frisky tonight.

You've got way too much on.

Is this what you wanted?

That's right baby.

Wonder if I'll find something in here I haven't seen before.

See if you're ready.

Red, you're not wearing any boxers!

Well.

Are you trying to tell me there's no clean ones?

Oh, Kitty!

OK, Kitty. You're turn.

Mmm, that feels so good Red.

Oh, you know how to tease her.

You know how to tease my little kitty.

You're just teasing my clit.

Oh, that tongue!

You're so good at that!

Oh, you're such my bad boy!

Oh, I love being your cheerleader, and you're my coach.

Oh, baby, let me give you some more head.

Let me suck that cock.

You wanna please Kitty, don't you?

Feed it to me.

Oh, Kitty!

Oh, Red, yes! I love it when you give it to me like that!

Oh, fuck me Red! Spank my little ass!

Oh, yes, spank me!

Tell me what a bad little girl I am.

Oh, Red, I'm going to come all over that big cock of yours!

Fuck me baby!

Oh, Red, you're so strong!

And you've got that curved cock my pussy craves!

Oh, you're gonna tease me?

You think you're going there, baby?

Put you're face down, Kitty.

OK.

Oh, Red! Oh, Kitty!

Kitty!

Red, did you come?

Yep.

And now I'm going.

Where are you going?

To get a sandwich.

Red!

Foreman, do you realize your father's in the kitchen naked?

Stephen!

Why don't you bring that afro down here and put it between my legs?

Mrs. Foreman, you trying to fuck me?

Would you like me to fuck you?

That feels so good!

Oh, you like those big titties?

I didn't realize how much fun it is to...

OK dear.

Oh, Mrs. Foreman, I didn't realize you were so nasty! Mmm hmm!

I want to sit on this. You want to sit on this dick?

Feed my little pussy! Feed my kitty!

You're fucking so hot!

Oh, Stephen! Take me there!

You wanna suck me baby! Yeah.

You just keep getting bigger.

I need to come again so bad!

Oh, Mr. Foreman doesn't even do me this good.

You're gonna make me come, Mrs. Foreman.

You're gonna make me come, Mrs. Foreman.

Can I come all over your tits? Yes, fuck me and come all over my tits.

Oh, goodness, look at all that!

You did such a good job.

Why didn't I do this more?

Yes, I did.

It tastes so sweet.

I gotta go. Gotta make a sandwich.

So Donna, those pictures should be coming in soon.

Aren't you excited?

Yeah, really freaking excited!

What are you doing?

We have studying to do. We have a college exam tomorrow.

Donna I am studying...

...your boobs...your ass.

Your ability to seduce me with your boobs and your ass.

No Eric, the books. The books.

Donna, I really appreciate what you did for me...getting me those photos.

Let's screw studying.

Screw me. Let's fool around.

We can't. We have an exam soon.

Donna, a man has needs!

What do you have?

Hardy whore whore.

Come on, it's the 70's.

And the times...they are a'changin'.

The song's from the 60's, you jerk.

OK, you can resist the power of my song quoting.

But can you resist the power of my eyes?

Oops.

Oh, yeah, Eric. Bony butts get me all wet!

Laugh now Donna. But you and I both know, right now you want this bony butt.

And this huge boner that comes with it.

Oh, do I?

Donna you need to stay on the...

No Eric. I just want to study.

If you don't want to study, then I'll just go home to study.

Donna, can you say "study" again?

It's really turning me on. Uhhh!

Well you don't need to study on being a cold bitch anyway.

You already passed that exam.

I think she didn't hear you.

Fez.

You're very welcome again Eric.

So, you think something's up with her?

Yeah! What's wrong with her?

That's what I said!

Maybe you're not rocking enough for her.

Or maybe she has something wrong with her.

Like the rabies.

That's what I said.

Well...sort of...anyways.

I'm just not sure what happened back stage.

And why it's keeping me from getting laid.

I'm starting to feel like Kelso.

Well, come on!

What the hell! How did Fez get laid and not me?

Maybe it's because I have foreign charm.

You see you sound gay!

How the hell did you get a hot chick and not me?

Maybe all the girls you've had through the years started talking to each other.

Maybe you're first girl started spreading rumors about you coming too quickly.

Huh! Umm.

Wait, you were my first Jackie.

Exactly, Michael!

Burn!

OK, but seriously guys.

How do I get Donna to tell me what's going on?

How do I get her to do me again?

Don't be a smart ass!

Dumb ass! Dumb ass! Dumb ass!

I just have to ask her.

Thanks Dad voice over.

Oh, Kelso. Burn!

Unbelievable!

What do you want to talk about?

Well, first, you go and meet the band.

And now you don't want to have sex with me.

I just want to know what's going on?

What are you talking about?

Donna, something happened backstage. Just tell me what it was.

Look, I really care about you.

In fact, I love you and your girly legs.

But, I'm going to tell you something that's gonna make you a little unhappy.

Last night when I went backstage, I did it with the band.

What?!

I blew those roadies, thinking they were gonna take me to the band.

So that I can get the picture for you.

But then, they didn't go take me to meet the band.

I lied to you, so please don't hate me.

Don't hate you? Don't hate you?

Donna really? This is amazing!

This is amazing!

You blew a bunch of guys, so you could meet Page and Plant for me?

That's probably the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me.

Really?

Really. And honestly...

...the thought of you blowing all those guys...

...pretty fucking hot!

Oh, Eric, you dirty pervert!

A very lucky dirty pervert.

Oh, yeah, get in there.

Doing laundry, huh?

And what was your first clue, moron? The big basket of dirty clothes?

No! That was my second clue. I saw the detergent first.

Kelso, you're such a genius.

Good thing you got a nice ass.

Wipe that big smile off your face.

And lick my pussy before I change my mind.

Yes mam!

How you get this thing off?

I want to taste your cock.

Baby you are trying to make me into a premature ejaculator.

Taste the pussy off your cock!

Tastes so sweet.

Fuck me hard! Fuck me hard!

My pussy feels so good!

I want to ride you again.

I wanna taste my come off your cock!

You wanna fuck me from behind, so you can play with my ass?

You can fuck me from behind.

I want you to come all over me.

I want you to come all over my face.

Oh, get down, get down!

Kelso's back!