Original subtitles

Feeling horny?

Four days ago

my husband only died

I can't wait any longer

three more days please

I can't

go away

I'm not leaving

please don't

Who's it?

Who are you?

I'm

you two do nice things

he forced me

I didn't

you gave in easily

we didn't do anything though

what were you doing on the bed then?

How could you

do it to me?

I won't do it next time

there won't...

Be any next time

give me your necks so I can squeeze to death

who are you?

I'm fatboy

I'll kill you

I'll report you to the police

you'll be sentenced to death

an adulterer and an adulteress

a woman should be faithful

your husband died only four days ago

how could you do such a thing?

And in front of his shrine too

where's the shrine?

Over there

hold this, I'm not through yet

ghost!

Husband

what are you doing, fatboy?

I'm punishing them

on your behalf

I didn't know you'd show up

it's so shameful

I feel so sorry for you

I can't let anybody know

you're...

Absolutely right

You don't really have to kill them

but they may tell people

they won't publicize their own sin

they won't tell people

then nobody will know

if one knows one will tell people

is that a rule?

Of course it is

if nobody knows one knows

why should one know

in the first place?

Do you know about this?

You mean the adultery?

I know every detail of it

would you tell people?

I'm a straightforward...

Person

I don't keep secrets

then I have to kill you then

don't misunderstand me

I came to...

Defend your honour

it's not that big a deal anyway

please don't take it too seriously

I'm sorry

I won't tell if nobody asks me

I'll tell even if nobody asks me

I won't tell even if I'm asked

Help!

What's the matter?

Uncle!

What's the matter?

What happened?

Uncle!

What happened to him?

Fatboy!

Fatboy!

Fatboy!

Slap me, please

harder

are you all right?

Fatboy

yes?

Are you crazy?

I was having a nightmare

I'm all right

You put us on

My leg

catch me

I didn't do it, uncle. They did

Are you all right?

We've been doomed

generation after generation

yours is the worst

really?

My brother's your grandfather

who died right after your father's born

I brought your father up

he died right

after you're born

you never behave yourself

I wonder...

If I'd last long enough

to see you become a father

are you telling me

I have many fathers?

You'd better get to work

uncle

what?

Watch your steps

open the door

What a fragrance!

Are you trying to scare me?

Fatboy

what's the matter?

I've washed your clothes for you

leave them here and go home

I'm busy

Wait

these aren't mine

I made them for you

you made them for me?

What do I need two ducks for?

They are not ducks, they are love birds

why is one bigger than the other?

The big one is you, the small one is me

it doesn't look like me

the love birds are swimming

couldn't you make something erotic?

I want you to sleep with these

and feel like sleeping

I don't like them at all

you'd better

take them back

yuen

uncle

go home

you shouldn't treat her like that

you were engaged

when you were babies

I want to call it off

your father didn't leave you anything

except...

This marriage

besides,

yuen's so nice to you

that's exactly the point

I don't want her to waste her life on me

no excuses

let's go to work at the ma's

yes

Lucho spent all your money

and ran away

but he'll be back

they do this time...

And again

will their spirits hear it?

When one dies, one dies

are you still sober?

Have I ever been sober?

How could you pass

the public exams?

I think better when I'm drunk

I'd have flunked the exams if I were sober

I bet you would

why don't you let

someone else do it?

Who can do it

better than me?

Learn carefully

you'll take over when I die

that's easy

I mean the learning

I've got about 60%

I'll offer the incense

thank you

it's my job

I'm doing this

on behalf on lucho

he said he'd be rich and come home

just believe him for the time being

Fatboy, offer the tea please

yes

The sky is clear

The riches will come

luck has arrived

everything is fine

I'll call you silver

bring everybody money

I'll call you fortune

bring everybody fortune

Bow

bow again

know who

your master is

may you be led

To rest in peace

Here's home

lucho died so young

make way please

How could lucho die so young?

He didn't die young, you live longer

uncle

this is ying

she's lucho's widow

mrs ma

this is ying's brother

ying's eight months pregnant

I'm glad for lucho

let's go inside

after you

watch your steps

I don't believe it

do a special job on old ma

beauty will be here soon

be nice to the gentlemen

here come the ladies

I beg your pardon, beauty

let me know

if there's anything you don't like

Jade is both nice and skillful

she knows how to please a man

lord chin was here the other day

Wouldn't you say she's very nice?

I sure would

it can work magic on an eighty year old

it can't fail on you

which one of you is going to do it?

I've got too many customers

waiting for me

Jade is the hottest lady here

my neck is very sensitive

what do you say?

Like it or not?

He said yes

then come with me to the room

we're not getting married

I knew he'd say yes

please make yourself...

At home

let's keep it this way

what are you waiting for?

I've got to prepare myself

watch this for me

they say this stuff makes you last longer

it's all in the mind

men are such fools

have one yourself

my wife's been tough on me

come early tomorrow

I sneaked out today

it really works

what am I going to do?

Don't think about it

one thousand and one

one thousand and two

oh my god

one thousand and three

one thousand and four

one thousand and six

one thousand and seven

damn you

what's the matter?

Why waste your time?

I should have picked you, fatty

I'm finished

don't touch me

what are you doing?

It's almost there

is it working?

Yes, for me

How did that happen?

He was no good

he was impotent

how could he

impregnate his wife?

Something's wrong?

That's easy...

For you to say

we should find out the truth

that's easy for you to say too

stop arguing

I'd better go

find out the truth

how? You haven't got any clues

neither have you

stop arguing, watch what you're doing

let's think of a plan

go make the delivery, fatboy

yes

I've got it

Thank you for coming

thank you

I couldn't let myself

not to come

these are the mourners we hired

go get yourselves ready

we only lack

the boy and the girl

those idiots are late again

I'll go back to take a look

make way please

don't act like you're straining yourselves

we are straining ourselves though

people may find out

what took you guys

so long?

Why made it so big?

Fatboy did it

where's he?

He went to see yuen

that's not like him

don't get us involved

go away

we're going back to the shop

business has been good today

hurry back then

you two don't match each other

couldn't do one thing right

My condolence

get some rest

you'd better post guard

I'll be outside

Behave yourself

don't forget we're married

no way

everybody thinks so

I wouldn't mind being your husband

let's have a kiss

what are you two doing?

Here comes your real husband

he tried to molest me

that's not true

stop fooling around

we can't fail

I know what to do

you're drunk again

who is drunk?

Who is sober?

What a pity to die so young

cheers

stand still

cheers

Please come upon us, dear angels

and have pity on the widow

earth to earth and dust to dust

I thought I was bad, you're worse

concentrate, will you?

Swordsman

what's the matter?

You're naughty

The incense is not good enough

Firel

you're naughty, bastard. I'm sorry

that paper man can speak

of course not

Please take care of your own kid

will you stop that?

Cut that out. Let's go

Take mr ma home

I'll take you home

uncle, let's go

this way

let's go and have a drink

good idea

that's it for today

that way please

Don't you know you're heavy?

Lucho, it's me

forgive me for disturbing you

I'm suspecting foul play

on your death

I have to

find out the truth

I may catch a severe cold

I couldn't find anything

I'm chin from the other village

I mastered the ceremony for you tonight

I can't make ends...

Meet lately

I need to borrow money from you

you can't make use of it anyway

I'll repay you

after I die

that's the way it is

it never rains but pours

someone's here before me

That's really frustrating

At least I can take these

I'd better use a pair of pliers

Wasn't it closed before?

Oh my god

The string was not strong enough

I'd kill you if fatboy's not around

That's no way to treat the deceased

Who's that?

Could it be a ghost?

Don't scare yourself

you've got some tough teeth

I have no choice

I don't want to ruin your teeth

I didn't do it on purpose

There's not even one single bruise

could he be poisoned?

I'll find out the truth for you

I'll open you up tomorrow night

and see if your insides

have changed colours

I'd better leave now

Fatboy

not that many people know my nickname

this is fatboy. Who's it?

Lucho?

No

You...

I'm lucho's ghost

don't be afraid

I'm not tell me who killed you

Tell me

nobody killed me

I don't...

Believe that

how could you impregnate your widow?

You were impotent

and your brother-in-law

looks like a villain

he must have murdered you

I told you nobody killed me

if no...

Then why are you here?

You mean I shouldn't have come?

No, who else can help you?

I beg you

you don't have to do that

why are you so stubborn?

Only because I want to help my buddy

I'm not your buddy

I know you don't want me

to get involved

you're making me mad

likewise here

you...

I will definitely

open you up tomorrow

it won't do you any good

I'm doing it for my buddy

I'd kill you if I were a ghost let's go

us?

No, I mean myself

lucho

poor man

Did you convince him?

No

He's too loyal to his friends

he's also very stubborn

what is he going to do?

He wants to

open me up

what do you think?

I don't know you take care of him

let's have him killed

don't get me wrong

fatboy's my buddy

I don't want him killed

I'll try

to stop him then

you'd better

my death won't do you any good

you'd better go back to play corpse

you're such

a slave driver

we just want you to get some sleep

before anybody sees us

that sounds

much better

I wouldn't mind sleeping with you

goodnight

what should I do now?

I've brought the tools, lucho

Let me cut your belly open

and take a look at your insides

if you were really poisoned

I should be able to tell

This is too big for the job

This should do it

That's it

what are you doing?

I want to see

if lucho was poisoned

that's what you believe?

Yes

I don't blame you

but you don't need any autopsy

to find out if he's poisoned

I know another way

this needle is sensitive to poison

it turns black

See

Now which part of lucho should we test?

The belly

What's the colour of the needle?

Silver

what other parts do you want tested?

The throat

What else?

The brain

how can the brain be poisoned?

Of course it can

Hold it

What are you doing?

Fatboy wants to prove that

lucho was poisoned

I thought lucho was your buddy

that's why I have to

find out the truth

I wouldn't let you

abuse lucho's body

he couldn't have

impregnated you

he was impotent

right

he didn't impregnate me

here comes the truth

I was raped

lucho saved me, he married me

though he couldn't make love to me

he was very good to me

we were so much in love

but then he died

I decided to go ahead with the baby

so that lucho could have a son

and the ma's

won't become extinct

you expect me to believe that?

Lucho told me I could count on you

and you refuse to believe me

I don't want

to live anymore

put it down

Don't be like that

let me die

That won't solve anything

please forgive me, it's my fault

now I understand the whole story

no wonder

when lucho came to me

he seemed to be hiding something from me

your belly is so big now

and there are two navels

Lucho

she's all right

I'm glad I haven't opened lucho up

should we test some more?

No

Let me know

if you need any help

you take care now

You're stupid but you're a real friend

are you all right?

Tomorrow is the funeral

priceless antiques

will be buried with you

I would sell them all

and give you 40%

rest in peace now

see you tomorrow

I've been waiting for you

what's so urgent?

Excuse us please

what happened to your head?

I fell on the way

what's so urgent?

Old ma left me

a big sum of money

to be given to lucho's spouse

only if she gave birth to lucho's offspring

the money will be yours

after your labour

how much is there?

I've already checked it

more than ten thousand taels

but lucho said his father went broke

by buying

priceless antiques

old ma wouldn't do a thing like that

the antiques are

all cheap items

old ma lied to lucho

in order to force lucho to work hard

now I get the true picture

things are going according to old ma's plan

you'll have the money soon

I'll donate half of it

to build a bridge

lucho would have wanted the same

I think you on behalf of the village

it's late and I'm tired

I'm leaving. Goodnight

So the antiques

are worthless

there's no need

for lucho to be buried

of course

there is

you mean...

Everybody thinks lucho's dead

if he stays dead,

the money will be ours

you mean...

Who are you? Why do you want me dead?

I didn't know he's so tough

He almost killed me

tidy things up

dust to dust

earth to earth

oh my god

lucho ma was born in kwangsi

in the year 1851

he died at the age

of thirty four

he was a very good man

mr young's pretty good

at things like this

only if

he's sober

how do you know he's sober now?

Concentrate on your work

lucho

be careful with your womb

calm down, mrs ma

You died at an early age

maybe you were too good

to stay on earth

but little do you know

that you've broken many hearts

do you miss us

at all?

Am I getting old?

Let me toast you this drink

and hope you'll remember us

something's not working

Behold

Why? Why?

Be careful

What's the matter?

It's lucho's ghost

he can't get

near me though

I can't get near him

I'll go find fatboy

Fatboy, it's lucho

you're such a powerful ghost

I have to avenge my murder

now...

You're putting me on

you told me

nobody killed you

I've got a memory, you know

why don't you

stop fooling around?

You would scare people

why can't you be more considerate?

I was really murdered

we were buddies

I'll burn some

offerings for you

you rest in peace

I'll take care of

your wife for you

now go back

let me tell you

the whole story

how could you do something like that?

I'm dead now

what do you want me for?

To avenge my murder

but you were wrong too

don't mix up

the issues

leave me out of your mess please

I need your help though

you're my buddy

I'm not. Get lost

are you upset about something?

No

Help me please

get lost

I'll mess things up for you

You molested me

I'm sorry

pork bread is good and hot, buddy

I'm okay. I'm sorry

will you stop fooling around?

You messed up my whole setup

I didn't do it

you didn't do it?

I'll beat you up

don't ever let me catch you again

Thanks

Haven't you had enough?

Stop fooling around, will you?

I didn't fool around,

I fell

he didn't want to do that

why are you going inside?

What else can a man do

in the toilet?

You wasn't that nice to me

you didn't burn me a pretty one like this

you're impotent

anyway

I beg your pardon

you heard me

you want to upset me?

Yes

you'll have to do better than that

I'll kill you if I catch you

you wouldn't treat me like that

am I not right?

No

I didn't do it

you can scare people to death

what have I done wrong?

I'm leaving you alone

Be careful or he'll blame me

be careful

come down

you want to talk to me?

No

Why did you call me down?

Well?

Come down you coward

why do you call me

a coward?

Well?

He's a coward

I'm a coward

I'm dying

no, you're not

I broke my leg

you didn't

but it hurts

I'll carry you back up

let me carry him

I'm in pain

what's the matter?

I shouldn't have gone to the toilet

I should have waited

until dawn

thank you

Are you refusing to leave?

Yes, unless you agree to help me

try staying here then

You haven't learned the skill yet

I didn't do it

it's me fatboy's been possessed

who are you?

Stop fooling around look

What do you think?

I think he's gone berserk

get up

Such mess

uncle will be mad

I think we'd better

go back to sleep

I'm here

this is such a nice horse

it's fun

Come

Why did you mess up

the whole place?

I didn't do it the ghost did

what ghost?

He can't see me, fatboy

I'll punish

you later

uncle

uncle's going to punish you

that makes you happy?

Give me power

everybody thinks I'm crazy

I beg you

help me then

I've got Patience

I'll beat you up

please don't

this vine is for hitting ghosts

you'll soon be finished

please stop. I'll go away

you admit you're wrong?

I admit you're not a friend

otherwise you'd help me avenge my death

you don't know what friends are for

no one would give a damn

about your murder

you're...

You were murdered?

It's too long and wild a story

wait. I believe you're murdered

that's why I couldn't

break your burial brick

tell me the whole story

will it work?

It will expedite...

The delivery

it always works

increase the

dosage please

right

we want to get the money sooner

I hate to see them

getting away with murder

right?

Right

that's why I want fatboy to help me

can he help you?

Don't order me to kill

I'm not capable of violence

I just need your outfit

my outfit?

That means your body

Is it safe, uncle?

Shut up

what if he doesn't

return the outfit?

Lie down

please

Behold the heavens

and the hells

behold the angels

and the devils

out with fatboy's soul

from his body

The soul will last and die with the light

let's put lucho's soul

into fatboy's body

get ready, lucho

let's have it done

Thank you, uncle

make sure you come back before dawn

or fatboy will die

my life's in your hand

I'll be back in no time

I'll go now

don't mess up my outfit

I thought I was still a ghost

What do you want, fatboy?

I'm not fatboy

he reminds me of someone

who though?

Fatboy?

No

Who are you?

Lucho

I borrowed

fatboy's body

That won't work now

Uncle, the light is going out

What time is it?

Just past midnight

what's holding lucho up?

Fire

Don't kill me

I'll burn you offerings

save them for yourself

it was my wife's...

Idea

I know. She's next

right after you

I'll be doomed

if your pants touch my head

to hell with you

bitch

Come here

I'll cover you up with my pants

dawn's coming

I'd better go back first

or fatboy will die

He must have left

I'd better leave too

but then I would get nothing

I'll have to stay

What took you so long?

You came back like this?

Where's my outfit?

It was stripped off me by her pants

why didn't you get it back?

I couldn't. I'm a ghost

who can get it back then?

Uncle

I wouldn't get there

before dawn

then I'll die

let's carry uncle over there

let's hurry then

I'll get the light

I'll get it for you

Be careful

let me down

Uncle can't pass through

don't forget

I'm not a ghost

don't let the light go off

uncle

I'll strangle you

get my outfit first

that's right

follow me

where is it?

It's gone

what are we going to do now?

I'll look around for it

don't you know it's late?

I'm coming to save life

you're not needed here go away

get lost

It's not here

god punishes the wicked

is she going to die?

Serves here right anyway

what about the baby?

Time's running out

where can it be?

She buried me

Here!

Come on, hurry up

Catch up!

Drag the body out

Is it all right now?

No, the light's gone

I'm sorry, fatboy

that's fate, fatboy

I'll wait for you in hell

He's gone, uncle

look at yourself

help me please

I beg you

don't yell. I'm thinking

hurry. I'm through

think of a way to help me

don't yell

I'm thinking hard

why did you die so young, fatboy?

How did fatboy die

so suddenly?

He was possessed by some spirit last night

he died before I woke up this morning

I'm glad I didn't sleep here

please don't be so heartbroken, yuen

calm down please

life is short, yuen

you think she doesn't know that?

Stop arguing, you two

she's crying harder now

you teased me first

get lost, you two

Did fatboy say anything before he died?

Yes

what did he say?

He wanted me to help him

why didn't you then?

He died before I could do anything

fatboy

why couldn't you wait a bit longer?

It's all over now

not really. I've got a plan

I don't know if it'll work though

what's the plan like?

What are you doing?

Nothing

nobody wants you to sacrifice

you're not qualified

we need someone closest to fatboy

like whom?

Like his wife

why didn't you marry me, fatboy?

Can I marry him now?

You really want to save him?

If you can't save him

you'll be a widow forever

when fatboy died

I was going to be a nun anyway

I'll give it a try

proceed with the wedding

what kind of wedding is this?

A wedding of life and death

are you sure this is a rooster?

How do you know it's not impotent?

When I caught it

it was surrounded by hens

please

bow once bow a second time

you are husband and wife now

seven days after a man died

his soul will come out

in the form of a cold wind

which will leave the corpse

and travel around

until he finds his next stop

you should place a lamp behind the coffin

make it as bright as possible

so that he'll recognize the way back

place a bowl of rice near the coffin

to feed him and make him fit for travelling

Come back soon, fatboy

I'll wait for you

On the fourteenth day

the soul will return

have a ladder ready

right under the chimney

yes

the soul does not return alone

it'll be accompanied by ghost guards

he can stay here for only a short time

then he'll be guarded back to hell

the guards are real mean

they treat the soul cruelly

have a lot of offerings ready

treat the guards well

make them feel good

so they'll be nice to fatboy

they love eggs and wine

make some hard boiled eggs

place them in wine

I forgot to tell you

the soul may turn into a beetle

or an insect

there are insects everywhere

how do I identify fatboy?

Put lime on your rooftop

if an insect has lime on its legs

it must be fatboy

I see

once you've caught the insect

you have to...

Yes?

Turn around

wrap it with your feminine napkin

so that the guards can't find it

hand in there until dawn

and fatboy will live

can you hang in there?

It's done

These people are nice

they have prepared good things for us

fantastic

There are eggs here

and here too

can't get to them

drink the wine first

that's ridiculous

eat the eggs and we can't drink the wine

drink the wine first

At long last

You're drunk

You're lousy drinkers

If you're fatboy

crawl onto my palm

I won't let them

Take you away

Where's fatboy?

We'd better ask for fatboy

Hand us back fatboy

I don't understand you

hand us fatboy or we'll get rough

don't come near me

get her

Give her hell

let her know we mean business

Hand fatboy over

no way

pick her up

let go of me

throw her at the door

We'll cut fatboy's...

Body up

no! Leave him alone

do, go...

Let me go, get lost...

She's tough

she's too tough

She took the ladder away

she blocked the chimney

find another way out

it's hot

please let us go

no way

mrs fatboy

we're only ghosts

we've got our weaknesses too

please stop burning us

please let us go

on one condition

forget about fatboy

we can't

we have to bring him back

that's the way it should be

that's not the way it should be

fatboy was a good man

he was only avenging his friend

go tell your master

wait until fatboy has children

then come and bring him back

that's a deal

it's almost dawn

let us go

or we'll terminate

all right

let's go

Didn't I die?

I saved your life

what?

Why am I at your house?

This is our house

what?

We're married

how could that happen?

Uncle performed the wedding ceremony

what?

Did he play bridegroom too?

Of course not

I'll do it myself

the guards will wait until we have children

life is short

let's go for it