Original subtitles

♪♪♪

Whoa, Levi, are those your old cow PJs?

Man, I haven't seen those things in a while.

Yep. These bad boys have been with me through thick and thin.

And short and tall.

They've gotten smaller, but they still bring me good luck.

And I haven't needed this much luck

-since I was this-- -[loud ripping]

Big.

Well, if it helps, I do feel very lucky

that I didn't have to see that.

My teeth are officially brushed.

Oh, are you sure you got them all?

Because it only took you an hour.

Um, looking this good is a process, okay?

All right twins, off to your twin beds. And Tess, go home.

Mom, uh, Tess hasn't been here all week.

Oh, really? Well, that was easy.

You, too, Levi. You need to go to bed-- too-- Levi? Levi?

Levi: I'm in my room!

What? He is super quick these days. Right?

Hey, Mom, you do realize we're 15 years old now, right?

Mm. Yeah, I was there. I know.

So don't you think should be able to stay up later?

I mean, I might be crossing a line here, but maybe even...

maybe even nine o'clock?

You know what? Why don't you think about it like this?

-Okay. -It's nine o'clock somewhere.

-Okay. -Okay.

And, uh, what's the magic rule?

Both: No screens for sleeping teens.

Unless them teens want them screens smashed to smithereens.

-[laughing] -Right.

You hear that, Levi? No screens--

-For sleeping teens. -Whoa!

You are freakishly fast, honey!

You know, you get that from me.

We used to call your dad Slothy the Slowman. [laughs]

-Good night, Mom. -Good night, honey.

Not what I used to call him.

But Slothy the Slowman works.

-Okay. -Okay, now, I'm gonna check on the kids,

-and you grab the package. -[both squealing]

-Both: Shh! -We gotta keep it down, Rae.

I think Levi's, like, part ninja.

♪ Yo ♪

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Rae ♪

♪ It's crazy when things turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up and take that chance ♪

-♪ Maybe I'm just finding my way ♪ -♪ Learning how to fly ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪ -♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just kids caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪ -♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪ -♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪ -♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪ -♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather, ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other, ya know it's our time ♪

[Raven laughing]

Yep! That's us.

[laughing]

♪♪♪

All righty, time to watch an old episode of the greatest show

about time traveling vampires ever!

Oh, no! Flicksweb is removing "Fang Time" tonight at midnight!

We can't have our screens, anyway.

You heard our moms, right?

I know you did, because they aren't quiet.

[knocking on door]

Well, well, well, well.

Looky here.

Booker's asleep.

Phone!

-[huffs] -Um-hmm.

You can have it back in the morning.

-I understand, Mom. -No, don't argue with me, boy.

-I was actually just agreeing with you. -Oh, well...

Don't agree with me until... until I'm ready.

Clearly you learned your lesson.

Dude, I only have a few hours to watch as many episodes as possible.

You can watch 'em with me.

It could be like old times.

I can't, Booker. I need to sleep.

Okay.

Could you turn down your brightness?

It looks like you're holding the sun.

How 'bout this?

[knocking on door]

Just saying good night.

And making sure I wasn't texting?

No.

Yes, but in my defense, your brother is Booker.

-Mom, you can trust me. -[phone dings]

It's not a text. It's just an alert.

Right? I get notified every time Tess updates her social media.

It's usually just a picture of Ramon

eating spaghetti, or Ramon washing the shirt

that he spilled spaghetti on.

Yeah, just a lot of spaghetti and Ramon.

Well, you and Tess are around that age

where boys become a big part of your life.

Yeah, you got a lot of pictures of that, um-- [clears throat]

Wyatt dude.

You can say boyfriend.

Nah, I'm not gonna do that.

All right, well, I'll trust you'll turn off that phone.

Of course, Mom. Who do you think I am? Booker?

-[both laugh] -Oh, girl.

[door closes]

-[sighs] -[phone dings]

[clears throat]

"Tomorrow's our one-month anniversary."

Aw, he remembered! [laughs]

Keeper.

"We should stay up until midnight to celebrate"?

[sighs] Aw.

Ugh. No. No. No, Nia. You can't.

"Sorry, but no phones at bedtime. I will see you tomorrow."

Crying face, crying face. Poop.

[sighs]

[exhales]

No... No. Nia...

I'm in complete control, here, all right?

[sighs]

Yep, I'm weak. I'm weak, and I'm completely fine with it.

Um, "Forget what I said. I will call you in a minute."

Smiling emoji, smiling emoji. Rainbow.

Now, where do I go?

Yes. Perfect.

What am I? A badger?

Pfft. I gotta find a better place.

And it's probably not in this room.

♪♪♪

[quietly]: The eagles have nested.

I repeat, the eagles have nested.

Has the package been collected?

Shh! Yes!

Yes! I hear the words that you are saying.

The canister has been collected

by my hands, and put here--

I'm so sorry. Why are we speaking in code? The kids are in bed.

-Good point. [giggling] -I know!

It's time...

-to indulge in the one parental joy we have left. -Yes.

[gasps, squeals]

This oatmeal container's filled with oatmeal.

I know, Rae. I left the oats in this time,

you know, in order to hide the delicious fragrance of the chocolat.

I don't think the kids can smell chocolat through the canister.

You're right, Rae. They can't.

Not when they're covered in oats and hidden in the chimney.

-Yeah? -[both laughing]

-Yeah, l-let's just eat. Okay. -Yeah. Okay.

I like the ones on the bottom. They're melted.

Oh, you can smell it. You can smell it.

-Let's smell it first. Savor it. Savor it. -Oh, yeah. Obviously.

-Savor it. -Oh, yeah...

Booker: Lance, guard the neck. Guard the neck!

-[music plays on TV show] -[yawns]

Aah!

Oh, good. Well, since you're awake,

might as well watch some "Fang Time" with me.

Because you're too scared to watch alone?

If I say yes, will you watch it with me?

Booker, we already watched every episode of "Fang Time."

I know, but, but. we were so young. So naive.

Plus, there's all this history in each episode

that we didn't even catch the first time.

I'd love to watch, but this test tomorrow is a little different.

[whooshing]

Thanks, Booker. That show actually saved me.

Levi, I just had a vision.

You have to watch "Fang Time" with me.

-I have to? -Yes, and you have to now.

This is gonna change your life.

[sighs] Fine.

-But only one episode. -Okay.

Wait. Are you fake-visioning me just so I'll watch?

Like I'd think of something that complex.

Who am I? Nia?

♪♪♪

TV Narrator [over tablet]: And so the pied piper played his flute...

and let hundreds of walking meals ride up

to the doorstep of Vampire Central, Transylvania.

Best. Show. Ever.

Man, I'd forgotten how good "Fang Time" is.

And I did miss some things the first time we watched.

The real reason World War I started? Vampires!

-All right, Levi, let's watch the next episode-- -All right, off to bed.

Levi!

We're never gonna see my vision come true if we don't watch more episodes.

Stop trying to put your vision in television.

First of all, it's a tablet.

Second of all, what if I make things a little more interesting?

More interesting how?

Snacks. I'm gonna sneak in the kitchen and grab some goodies.

Goodies? What kind of goodies?

Uh, cookies?

Butterscotches. And, and, and candies!

Yeah, um, hard candies.

Soft candies. Chewy candies. I'll get all the candies.

All right. I'm in. One more episode.

-But that's it. -Okay, cool.

Hey, don't get caught. And, uh...

Double up on the soft candies.

All right, double up on the soft candies.

Ah, the kids are in bed. We've got our fancy chocolat.

-[laughs] -Can life get any better than this, right?

No. No, it can't. But we have to be careful, Chels.

If the kids find our stash,

-they'll ravage through it like a pack of wolves. -Right.

Take the one joy we have left.

-Whatcha doin'? -[shrieks]

Oh, okay. You guys are reading.

Aunt Chels, is that book better upside down?

Mm-hmm.

And, uh, Mom? How is, uh, how is "Sixth Grade Science"?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You know, it's crazy. It kind of sounds like you guys are eating something.

And maybe that something is-- maybe it's--

Oatmeal! You guys are eating oatmeal.

-What are you doing out of bed? -Mm-hmm?

Oh, me? I just, I'm just, I'm just thirsty.

What are you guys up to?

-Oh, well, we're up to... up to adult things. -[clears throat]

-Like eating, uh, eating oatmeal. -Mm-hmm.

But straight from the container?

With no milk, no water, just--

-See? See what I'm saying? See? That's how we were raised. -Yeah.

Back in our day, you know,

we didn't have that fancy milk or water stuff.

-[clears throat] -Wh-why don't you show me how you used to eat it?

Oh! You know what?

I think Chelsea can do that for you.

-Oh! Oh, really? -Yeah.

Oh, sweet Raven. You are such a sweet, dear friend, aren't you?

-Well, you know how I am. -Yeah, I do.

A friend. A real good friend that I share everything with,

-like this oatmeal. -[exclaims] Oh, oh!

-Was it too much? No. -Oh, no.

Now, girl, you know I used to eat this when I was a kid.

Let's, let's-- Ooh, oatmeal time!

Mm, oatmeal time!

-Both: Mm! -I'm gonna get some more here!

-[muffled]: So good. It's so good. -[mumbling]

Hard pass! I'm just gonna just grab some of that fancy milk.

[muffled laughter]

-Uck! -Make sure you close the door.

We got adult stuff going on in here!

Both: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

-Ugh. -Do you think Booker suspected anything?

Well, you were reading a book upside down,

so, yes. Yes, I do.

I'm sorry. Looks like we're busted.

Maybe we should save this for another night.

No, Chels, we are eating our candy tonight,

and then you know what we're gonna do?

-What? -We're gonna open another bag, if we choose.

-Really? -Because we are grown women.

-Yeah. -This is our household.

-Yeah! Yeah. -Right.

Great, so grab this candy. We'll go eat it in secret in our own bedroom.

[both muttering]

-Okay. -Okay, why am I going that way?

-Are they gone? -Ooh!

What are you doing here?

I thought I could come out here and then call Wyatt,

but Aunt Chels was in the living room.

Yeah, I spent the last 40 minutes trapped in this kitchen

while Mom and Aunt Chels eat that disgusting chocolate

they think any of us would want.

Okay, but they can never know we know about their chocolate.

Or chocolat. All right? Because we're only free to do what we want

when they're focused on that.

Also, why are you so desperate to call Wyatt?

Tonight marks our one-month anniversary.

Wait, why are you grabbing a million snacks?

Because I have to keep Levi sugared up for our favorite show.

Also, month-aversaries...

aren't a thing.

Well, um, if my math is correct,

that's about 30 days longer than any of your relationships have ever lasted.

Yeah, well... Well, I--

No. No, take your time, Book, 'cause I can wait.

I got a comeback. I just don't wanna hurt your feelings.

Then help my feelings.

Give me a place to call where I don't get my phone

smashed to smithereens.

-Just try the roof. -Yes!

Yes, you're a genius, Booker!

Man, I knew we kept you around for something.

♪♪♪

Ooh!

You're fine. Nia, you're just hearing things.

Tess!

Uh-oh! Someone's got the "I just snuck out" jitters.

-Tess, will you please keep it quiet? -Yo, Nia, relax.

It's the middle of the night.

There's no one but bats and rats up here.

-Then what are you doing up here? -I came up to chat with Ramon.

-You? -Same.

-But with Wyatt. Not Ramon. -Oh. Gotcha.

That's cool.

I saw Ramon's spaghetti stain that looked like a puppy.

-Boyfriends, right? -I know, they just--

They take up so much of our time.

-I'm just gonna go do my thing. -Yeah, no, you do your thing. I'll do mine.

-All right, yeah. -I'm over here, by the way.

-I'm here. Have fun. -Okay.

[distant chattering]

Tess, please tell me those bats and rats

sound exactly like Mom and Aunt Chels.

It's Ms. B and Ms. G!

-They're coming! -Okay, uh, quick. Hide! Here. Yeah.

♪♪♪

Chelsea: I know, I said I would--

I know, but shh! Keep your voice down. We're spying.

We're spying. Ooh, yeah, listen.

-Right here. Okay. Package is at 12 o'clock. -Okay.

All right? You're on retrieval. I'm on point.

-One, two, break! -Rae. Listen.

I told you I don't speak spy. I thought we established that.

Oh, Chels.

Fine. I hid the candy underneath the potted plant.

Okay. Why didn't you just say that?

It's not like anyone can hear us.

[gasps] Aha!

-Peruvian chocolat. -Yes!

Always bringin' the ka-kow!

[door opens]

-[door closes] -Whew! What's up with all those chocolates?

I don't know. Mom and Aunt Chels have this whole ritual thing

where they sneak around eating fancy chocolate,

and they think we don't know about it.

-[laughs] Is it all that? -No, no. It tastes like salted dirt.

-Oh, man. Adults like really weird things. -Yeah. [laughs]

Whew. I haven't been up this late since...

that last sleepover.

Yeah. Yeah, then everybody else fell asleep

but we stayed up together talking all night.

-Yeah. Oh, and then we did those mud masks. -Ugh.

Yeah, and I couldn't get mine off.

-I couldn't get mine on. -[both laugh]

-Yeah, that was so funny. -Yeah.

Wow, I haven't thought about that in, like, forever.

-Me, neither. -[phone rings]

Tell Ramon I say hello.

All right.

[phone rings]

So my man goes to King Tut,

gets permission to suck the blood from a mummy,

gets back to the present,

and gives that blood to his sister for a transfusion?

The writing in this show is pure genius.

Wow. You were right.

I did not get that the first time we watched.

I guess we are getting older and wiser.

-[belches] -Okay. Older and grosser.

[yawns] How many episodes have we watched?

-Three? -Seven.

What? Seven episodes? What time is it?

-Almost midnight. -What?

Booker, you sugar-fied me, and now I won't get a full night's rest.

I just wanted us to watch together.

You know, chill like we used to.

Seems like every time we try to hang nowadays,

you always have some test to study for or something.

Excuse me for caring about my grades.

Bro, it just feels like... feels we're drifting apart.

And that's my fault? You're the one who left me behind.

-Remember? -Well, it's not really my fault.

-It's just kind of how school works. -I know.

If I could fall asleep in the next ten minutes,

I'll still have 85 percent of my mental capacity for the test.

Levi, you never get this nervous about tests.

Not even final exams. Spill it.

[sighs] I'm taking an advanced history test.

Oh, wow. And...

And if I can ace it,

they're gonna place me in the ninth grade history class.

Oh, awesome. I'm in ninth grade history.

Wait. You're gonna be in my history class!

With me! Yo, why wouldn't you tell me about this?

Because this test is extremely hard.

I don't want to get my hopes up too high in case I don't ace it.

I get that.

But, I mean, it's funny, though.

I kept you up all night watching this show so I could hang out with you,

and you've just been trying to go to sleep

so you can hang out with me in history class.

Maybe we've both been missing each other and not admitting it.

Sleep tight, little bro.

Hey, so, am I the only one that saw

ia-Nay and, uh, ess-Tay on the old oof-ray?

-Is that the closest thing to spy speak you have? -Yeah, Rae.

It is, and you don't have to make me feel bad about it.

Sorry, sorry. But to answer your question, no.

You weren't the only one to see Nia and Tess on the roof.

Oh, really? Are you gonna go back there, Rae? Huh?

Is Nia gonna-- Is she gonna [imitating Raven] "Get it"?

I haven't decided yet.

Do you remember that time you came to camp with me,

and we got in that fight,

but then we ended up making up and, uh,

watching the stars all night?

Yes. That's when my dad got so mad

-'cause I didn't come home with my boots? -Yes.

Yes! He was like, uh, "Girl, you better explain yourself."

-[both laugh] -It's so hard to explain a skunk having a crush on your boots.

[laughs]

Yeah, but it's nights like that I look on most fondly.

Kind of like tonight.

What are you saying, Chels? I should let Nia get away with it?

Yeah, Rae. I think you should.

Yeah, you're right.

-Nia's getting a little too old to "get it." -Yeah.

But Booker, on the other hand...

What? They're twins. Aren't they the same age?

Only on paper.

-Only on paper. -True.

♪♪♪

No, no. That is not how it happened.

No. You called me "wow," like it was my name,

and then you started blabbering because you were too nervous, remember?

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. yeah. Just call me back. Okay.

Ugh. Ramon almost got caught.

-He's gonna call me back. -Same with Wyatt.

Hey, uh, Tess, I want to talk to you about something.

-And it's really important to me because I-- -[phone rings]

-Are you gonna get that? -[phone rings]

-No. No, I need to get this out. -Okay.

And I don't want to make it sound like it's just you,

because believe me, it's me, too,

-but I feel like we haven't really-- -[phone rings]

You gonna get that?

-We need to hang more. -Yes!

-Yeah. -Yes, that's exactly what I was gonna say,

except yours was just shorter, and way more to the point.

I've been with Ramon, like, a ton lately.

-Yeah, and I've been with Wyatt. -Which is great. But--

I miss this.

-I miss us. -Me, too.

Okay, so we are gonna make a commitment

to have weekly boyfriend-less us time,

right here on this roof.

I'm down! Besties before boyfriend time.

Besties before boyfriend time. [laughs]

♪♪♪

Booker, you're gonna wear a hole in my good rug,

and then all we're gonna see is the dust

you sweep underneath it.

This is our good rug?

Mom, it's just that Levi had this really big test today,

and I need to know how he did.

Why? Because you love him as a big brother,

or because you feel guilty for keeping him up all night watching that show?

Wait. You, you know about that?

I guess I'm "gon' get it."

You know what? I think it's time to retire that phrase.

Yeah, I need to start treating you and Nia like the young adults you are.

But any more late-night binges and I'm gonna boil your phone.

Fair enough.

And then Ramon and I are having a picnic on his roof.

It's gonna be super windy,

-so maybe you could braid my hair? -Yeah.

Yeah, if she's not too tired after talking on the roof all night.

What? No, no, Mom.

Actually, uh, what happened was,

I was in my room, right? And, um--

It's a really great time to braid some hair.

Hey, honey. How'd your test go?

Test? Oh! Sorry, that seems like ancient history.

And I should know, since I'm now officially

in Booker's ninth grade history class!

Oh, yeah! Yeah, you are!

You know, I believe you get those history skills from your great-grandmother.

-Why? Is she a historian? -No.

-She's old. She's old. -[laughing]

Levi, I am so happy for you!

And it has nothing to do with the guilt I feel over making you binge-watch our show.

It's weird, but a lot of the test questions

were straight from the episodes we watched.

So, thanks, Booker. That show actually saved me.

And that was my vision.

And, hey, maybe we could binge a new show tonight.

My mom said she would boil my phone.

She didn't say anything about that tablet, though!

Come on! Come on!

Kids, we have brought you here for something special.

Actually, very special.

Maybe even too special-- I can't do this, Raven. I can't.

Stay strong. We talked about this.

All right. Deep within the hearty oats of this canister

lies nature's truest gift.

Rich, dark, chocolat.

That's right, kids.

We've discussed it, and you guys are pretty much young adults now.

So, you're actually gonna call my boyfriend "my boyfriend"?

No.

Aunt Chels and have decided

it's time to share something special with you.

Well, one of us thought it was time.

It was Raven. She thought it was time.

I voted no.

All right, kids. You've earned this moment.

Now, relish in it.

No. No, no, no. No, no.

Why would they make this?

Why would anyone make this? Oh, man...

Mm. It's so good.

Hate to break it to you, Nia, but you do not have a future in fake chewing.

-I didn't ask for this, okay? -Okay.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Bring out the real chocolate, Chels! -Yeah!

[both laughing]

♪♪♪

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