All language subtitles for Becks.2017.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

I have nothing to ask of you.

Not the will,

the want,

emotion.

The valley,

the architect.

I can't feel the ocean.

It's my agent. Hello?

I'm going to LA!
They said they watched my tape.

They loved my performance,
my song,

and they want me in LA
on Monday.

You have to come with me.

This is like our moment,
you know?

I'm not an LA person.

Just keep saying that,
and you'll fit right in.

What am I gonna do
for two weeks without you?

- I love you.
- Bye, babe.

See you there!

Hi, honey.

I broke the lease.

We are officially not getting
our security deposit back.

The landlord was a dick.

But oh, well.

Um, I'm hitting the road.

I can't wait to see you.
I miss you.

Hey, babe. The new
apartment is ridiculous.

I can see the beach
from our window.

- Love you.

Hold on.

Hey.

Hi. Oh, my God.

I thought you were
coming tomorrow.

Well, I'm here.
Surprise.

Is that the weed guy?

Oh, you're not the weed guy.

No, I'm not the weed guy.

I'm the girlfriend guy.

I'm the drove-across-the-fucking
country-to-get-here guy.

I just want you
in my entire life.

- Don't fucking touch me.
- No, okay, I didn't mean to.

I'm outta here.
Oh, my God.

Financial assistance,

including the region's
only assured IVF program, ARCH.

You do not need a referral
to be seen regarding your--

Entertainment.

Earlier this morning,
we talked a lot about--

So do I, but I've been
rejected so many times.

She fell in love with
her first husband on set...

I just-- I quit my job,
and I sold all my stuff,

and I drove all the way
across the country

just because she wanted to be
on a stupid singing competition.

Well, I never trusted her.

Too much eyeliner means she's
hiding something, obviously,

and all that money
from her parents--

Mom, you didn't like her
because she was a "her."

Excuse me very much.

I'll have you know that I went
to the Gay Festival this year.

- Gay Pride.
- Gay Pride Festival,

and I wore a T-shirt
with a rainbow,

and I danced with
a lovely man in four-inch heels.

Hey, listen, I don't care
if you want to date

a person who's a man
or a woman

or a woman who wants
to be a pans...

pan-gen-pansexual...

Okay, Mom, I get it.
Don't hurt yourself.

I'm going to go crash.

Hey, hey, come here.

My baby girl, wait, wait, wait.

You are bright and talented
and smart and beautiful,

and you deserve to have
a loving and supportive woman.

Thank you, Mom.

Where have you been?

Walking with my women's group.
You should join us sometime.

I think you and I have different
definitions of "women's group."

Very funny.

Hello.

Okay, that's it.

Mom, it's
the showcase showdown.

Honey, you have been sitting
on this couch for two weeks.

I've done your laundry,
I've made your food,

and if I hear that
"Two Hands" song--

"Both Hands" song
one more time,

- I'm gonna jump off a bridge.
- Mom!

I'm not saying
you have to pay rent.

Just get out of the house
and do something with yourself.

And no more junk TV.

Well, well, well.

Look at what the sad gay cat
dragged in.

Ah!

- Becks the Wreck.
- Oh, fuck you, man.

I haven't been called that
since I was 17.

How you doin', kiddo?

Well, I am single,
and I'm broke,

and I'm back home
living with my mom.

I'm sorry.

I'm a billionaire playboy

who sleeps on a bed of titties
every night.

Yes, please.

Um, but you named your bar
Perfectos?

Yes. That's what the Cards
were called

before they were the Cards.

It's like St. Louis history.
Hello.

It sounds like the shittiest
taco truck in Sacramento.

Ohh...

I missed you.

I missed you too.

To success beyond
our wildest dreams.

Gene, you need anything?

Eugene?

He's basically dead.

- You wanna, mm-hmm?
- Yeah.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

She was gonna be a big celebrity
or something.

Ugh. She's an idiot.

A very hot idiot though.

- Best tits on earth.
- Oh?

How best?

Like on a scale
of Aniston to Upton.

A solid Johansson.

- Fuck!
- Yeah.

Damn.

I should've known that
my tiny high school dong

could never measure up
to a pair of Johannsons.

- Scarlet Johannson?
- Yeah, yeah.

Scarlet Johannson.

Oh, it had nothing to do
with your dick, Dave,

and everything to do
with my vagina.

My dick understands you.

It doesn't matter anyway.

The tits have moved on to a
younger, hotter LA set of tits,

and I have officially become
one of these people.

Oh, no.

- Yeah.
- Oh, no.

I know.

Can I put one up in here?

I guess.

I mean, yeah.

- Why don't you play here?
- Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean,
it ain't the Pageant, you know,

but we get a decent crowd
on the weekends.

Yeah?

Okay, yeah.

Wow. Look at this.

And I cleaned out the fridge,
and I fixed the sink.

And check it out.

Um, I'll fix that later.

So how was your day?

Oh, okay, well,
after church,

we had a girls' lunch
at The Cheesecake Factory.

I got the salmon,
which they say is a diet item,

but the portions
are just ginormous.

Here. You can have it.

And, um, let's see,
Donna had the roast chicken,

which I thought
was a little dry.

And Sue also had the salmon.

Wow, Mom, what did everyone
have to drink?

I think everyone
had iced tea, but, uh...

Never mind.

Anyway, Sue Cunningham
sends her regards.

- Who?
- Mitchell Cunningham's mom.

You know, from high school.

- Mitch the Bitch?
- Rebecca!

Ew!

I can still picture him
threatening freshmen

from the front seat
of his Jeep Wrangler.

Well, he's turned into
a lovely young man.

Maybe we can all
have dinner sometime.

- Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
- Maybe you'll change your mind.

Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot.

They have a sale at Aerosol,
and I like their comfort line,

so I got myself a pair,
40% off.

- That's great, Mom.
- Do you want some money?

There was a really cute one
with a heel--

Thank you for the food.
I'm starving.

I'm going to go eat this
in my room, if you don't mind.

Hey, you sure you don't want
a mic or like a makeshift stage?

I'll put up some boxes.

Not if it's further
from the bar.

How about this crowd, huh?

Yeah.

What you got going on
down there?

- Hey, Gene.
- Hi.

Listen up, folks, we got
some music for you tonight.

Be nice.

That's Gene.

He eats most of his meals here,

and he's usually drunk by 5:30.

Nice.

Nice. So you want a drink?

Ah, yes, please.

Something that'll make this
feel less like this.

- Whiskey.
- Yeah.

Uh, hey, everyone, I'm Becks.

I'm really good friends
with Dave over here.

Actually, Dave was the first guy
I ever slept with

and the last.

Anyway, it had nothing
to do with Dave.

I'm sure he's
a fantastic lay now.

I am.

But sometimes you just
gotta taste the sausage

before you realize
you're a vegan.

This is going really well,
isn't it?

Oh, you are killing it.

Uh, Gene,

you look like you're the only
person paying attention,

so this song is for you.

- Yeah.

- Yeah!

Come on! Come on!

Yeah!

Listen up.
This is a tip jar.

Pass it around.
Put some money in it.

Let her pay for her drinks,
God forbid.

Thanks.

Damn, girl,
you can really sing now.

Thanks, dude.

Hey, was that guy who came in,
was that Mitch Cunningham?

Yes. He's cool now.

That asshole, he outted me
at prom, remember?

He got on stage,
he took the DJ mic

and he told everyone
I was the vale-dyke-torian.

Oh, yeah!

I remember that now.

And I was trying so hard to
get in your panties all night.

What the fuck
is wrong with me?

I don't know.

But his mom and my mom
are now friends.

This town is way too small.

Yeah, well,
people change, okay?

You understand this concept...

- of people changing.

He's mellow now, man.

He put money into this place,
so be chill.

Figures.

Mitch the Bitch
is now Mitch the Rich.

Wow. If the singing
doesn't work

you can write, like,
really mean children's books.

Holy shit.
There's like 35 bucks here.

Okay, Rain Man.

I'm used to getting paid
in increments of jar.

It's a sad talent.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

I moved those around
the other day.

I found one of you
in your habit.

- What a trip.
- Remember this?

It's when we rented
that cottage in the Ozarks.

You kids sang
the entire way there.

It was so cute
for the first 20 minutes.

You and Dad look so young.

Let me see.

Oh, that was right after
we got married.

But we weren't so young.
We were 28.

Well, I'm 34.
What does that make me?

I don't remember Dad
ever looking this healthy.

Yeah.

Look at this.

Ah, I must've been,
I don't know, 22?

Now that was young.

Well, you were really pretty.

For a nun.

I was pretty, period.

Is that why you cheated on Jesus
with Dad?

Maybe.

You been drinking all night?

What? It's not like that.

It's just sometimes,
you know,

these things can be
hereditary.

Mom, I'm responsible.

Okay, when it comes to drinking,
at least.

Okay.

It's late.

Go to bed soon.

Nope.

Can I help you?

Oh, no, thanks.

I thought vintage would be more
my price range,

but I guess
it's still H&M for me.

Can't beat a $4 belt.

You know, I actually saw you
perform the other night

at Perfectos.

Oh, right. You were there
with Mitch the--

Mitch and I went
to high school together.

You went to Maplewood?

Yeah. Let me guess.

Villa?

Mary I.

Ah, way off.

World of difference.

I'm Elyse.

- Becks.
- Hi.

- It's nice to meet you.
- You too.

Becks is an interesting name.
Is it a stage name?

Uh, no,
it's short for Rebecca.

Mary Rebecca, actually.

My sister's name
is Mary Elizabeth,

in case you're wondering
how Catholic my mom is.

I really enjoyed your music.
Will you be playing again soon?

I sure as shit hope so.
I'm so broke.

And I'm not just saying that
as a negotiation tactic.

I'll give you 30 bucks
for this.

That's 300.

300.

Used.

Does it come with
$270 in the pocket?

No, unfortunately.

- It's a really cool place.
- Thank you.

Oh, hey, can I put a flyer up?

I promise if you send
any students my way,

I'll come in, and I'll buy
something really expensive.

Sure, of course.

I'll put it on the door,
right where everyone can see it.

The door, right.

Thanks, dude!

You're welcome, dude.

Hmm.

Hey, wow.

There's a lot more of you
here tonight.

Thank you so much
for coming out.

Now I know how Beyoncé feels.

Beyoncé still lives
with her mom, right?

No? It's just me?

Um...

This song is called
"Rabbit Hole."

Another respectable bounty.

I may have to start
charging commission.

- Hey, give me that, give--
- Ehh!

Hey, I think you got
some groupies over there.

If by "groupies,"
you mean they came on a Groupon.

See, that's Mitch's wife.
You know her?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I met her kinda randomly
the other day.

Awesome. She's bringing in
paying customers.

Do you want to say hi,

or do you want me to make up
some rock star shit,

like you got a private chopper
waiting around back?

She knows I can't afford
a used shirt,

so I don't think
she'll buy it.

I'm gonna leave this here.
Don't touch it.

Great show.

- Thank you.
- Oh, my God, so great.

So real.
You seemed so upset.

Thank you, I think.

Didn't know there were so many
local fans of lesbian folk rock.

Oh, my God.
That is too funny.

You know Richard's golf pro
is a lesbian.

Um, Elyse, right?

Yeah, you remembered.

These are my friends:
Maggie, Callie, and Mercede.

Mercede, like singular?

How else would it be?

So, uh, how do you guys
know each other?

I'm getting like
a sorority vibe.

No. High school.

Oh, right, Mary I.

That rich girl Catholic school.

It's not Catholic.

Then who's Mary?

Just some random chick
named Mary?

You are so funny.

No, but seriously,
nobody knows who Mary is.

Okay, cool. Well, it was nice
to meet you guys.

- Do you want to join us?
- Come on.

We never get to talk
to a real-life rock star.

- Well, I met John Cusack once.
- We know, Mercede.

Sit and have one drink.
It's on me.

Why not?

It was a cabin in the woods,
and I was completely topless.

- You were not topless.
- I was.

Oh, please. Don't tell that
story like you were topless.

I was topless.

I'm sorry, okay, listen,
I don't want to be rude,

but you are
the first real lesbian

we've ever hung out with.

That's not true.
Rachel Rosenblatt was a lesbian.

Rachel wasn't gay.
Her parents were just divorced.

She tried to kiss me
at one of Chip's parties.

So? You made out with
that swan pool toy once!

Three drinks, this one will
make out with anything.

So how do you come up with
the ideas for your songs?

You know,
Elyse is a singer too.

No, no,
karaoke is not singing.

Oh, come on!
You took guitar.

That was forever ago.

I could give you lessons,
if you want.

Totally!
Elyse, you have to.

No. Thank you,
but I cannot do what you do.

No, it's true, I need
to have an empty stomach.

Rise and shine.

What... is happening?

It's Sunday morning.
Church is happening.

- Jesus Christ!
- That's right.

If you declare with your mouth
that Jesus is Lord

and believe in your heart that
God raised him from the dead,

you will be saved.

I found this dress
in your sister's old stuff

and had it dry-cleaned.

Here, it should fit you.

Oh. I'm Jewish now.

This dress made me Jewish.

Come on.
You're living here rent-free.

The least you can do
is accompany me to church.

- Upsy-daisy.
- Mom, okay, going.

I'm going, but I'm not
wearing this dress.

Hey, where are you going?

We've been here
for over an hour.

I think I've paid my rent.

Hello.

Hi. Is this Beck?

Uh, yeah.

It's Elyse from Fleur de Lis
and the show.

Oh, hey, dude, what's up?
How'd you get this number?

From your flyer.

Oh, right.

That's actually
why I'm calling.

I thought about it,
and, well, I have some time,

and I just thought
that maybe--

Oh, yeah, you want
to take guitar lessons?

I mean, if you don't want to,
I completely--

No, yes, yes, awesome.

Absolutely.

Huh.

Good for you.

A mortgage brochure.

Wow. This place is great.

Thanks. My mom decorated,

so it's kinda
more her style than mine.

Well, it's a lot bigger
and better than my no house.

I guess.

So this is where
Mitch the Bitch lives.

Is that really
what everyone called him?

Never to his face.

Wait. He's not here, is he?

- Oh, no, he's at work.
- Oh.

What does he do
that he can afford this place?

He works for my dad
at Edward Jones.

Hmm. Well...

should we tune up?

Yeah, sure, yeah.

- I told you I'd be rusty.
- That's okay.

So you just wanna get your
finger off the top string,

so the top string
can ring out.

There you go.

Almost, almost.

You want it to sound like this.

You make it look so easy.

Well, it's years of practice.
Most people just give up.

I know.

- You want to try again?
- Yeah.

Is a check okay?

Oh, cash would be
so much better.

Oh, I don't have any on me.
I'm sorry.

Next time?

Sure, yeah.

So how are you
getting used to the Lou?

It must be weird
after New York.

It's fine, you know.

It's a lot cheaper,
so that's nice.

Is it hard to find other,
you know...

Gay people?

No, not if you know
where to look.

- But honestly, I am--
- Hey, honey, I--

- Oh, hi.
- Hey, you're home.

Yeah, your dad
let me out early for once.

Hi.
Oh, you remember Becks.

Of course.
Becks the Wreck.

- Heh heh heh.
- My mom said you were home.

- Yeah, it's been a long time.
- Yeah, it's great to see you.

And I know Dave is psyched
to have you back.

Becks and Dave were like
the ultimate, alterna,

we're-too-cool-for-you
couple.

Really?

- Yeah.
- You and Dave?

Yeah. I was confused.

Hey, we're going to head to
P.F. Chang's. You wanna join?

Oh, I'm sorry. I can't.
I have another lesson.

Jupiter, Ceres,
Eris, Makemake.

Why don't you go
play with your brothers,

and you let Mommy
talk to Grandma, okay?

He's really into
space stuff right now.

Lizzy,
they're getting too big.

You have to tell them
to stop, okay?

Oh, Rebecca's here.

Honey, it's Lizzy,
come here, come here.

Your sister wants
to say hi real quick.

Hi, Becks!

- Hi, Lizzy.
- Wow!

Look who ended up back home.

Uh, not ending up here.
Just stopping by.

Well, I knew that Lucy
was bad news.

When you come from
money like that--

You know what?
You are so right.

Lizzy, it was really nice
to talk to you.

Text me when you have
another kid!

Can't the two of you
at least try to get along once?

Sisters never get along, Mom.

Well, are you gonna
at least come and visit?

It's been over a year.

The kids are growing up.
I'm missing everything.

I know, but would you want
to get on a four-hour flight

with these maniacs?

Honey, Mommy is
talking to Grandma.

Tell you what. As soon as
the boys get a little bigger,

we will come out, okay?

Hey, Caleb,
put that down! Don't--

Mom, I gotta go,
I gotta go.

Do you want a time-out?

No, E, you got it.

Then to A.

Yeah! You got it!

I didn't realize how hard
this was going to be.

My fingers are sore.

You can do some stretches
for that, like this one.

Just pull it out like that.

- Oh, God, that does feel good.
- It does, right?

Do this side.
I'm gonna get some water.

So are you feeling
a little bit more settled now?

It's been nice
hanging with my mom.

I haven't seen her that much
since my dad died.

But I'm not trying
to settle in.

Once I get all my shit together,
I'm going back to New York.

Oh, come on,
it's not so bad here.

Well, it certainly beats LA.

You know, I actually saw
a used Maxipad

on the street there once,

and it was somehow sadder
and more disgusting

than anything I'd ever seen
in New York City.

I don't know,
maybe it's not about the place.

Maybe it's...
gotta find the right people.

We're having a barbecue
on Sunday. You should come.

I meant people more like...

Oh, like you?

Don't be such a snob.
It'll be good for you.

All right.

I will absolutely
come to your barbecue

if you play me a B7 chord.

I know it's hard.

Hey! I'm so glad you came.

Yeah. Oh, I don't know
anything about wine,

but in Brooklyn,
the less appealing the name,

the better the bottle.

"Rusty Jigsaw."
That's great.

Here, come on.

So this is Lara and Rich
and Melissa and Bobby.

She's pregnant.
Basically, someone always is.

And you've already met
these ladies.

Well, hello.

Now everyone back off.
No autographs.

Elyse has gotten so into guitar
since you have come around.

So into guitar.
She's really into it.

- She won't put it down.
- Like ever.

You want something to drink?
Beer, wine?

Wine would be great.

I would have pegged you
more for a beer girl.

Uh, um, no, it's fine.
Wine is good.

So those the husbands?

Yeah, but if you don't follow
the Cards or the Blues,

don't even bother.

The Blues,
that's hockey, right?

I know. No one cared about
hockey till the Rams left.

I guess they needed
something new to talk about.

Ah, thank you.

Becks, this is
my friend Amy.

Amy and I are in
figure-drawing class together.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Great. I'm gonna go
help Mitch. Have fun.

Oh, okay, good,
everybody's going.

It's a great party.

Oh, yeah, like a 1960's
astronaut farewell picnic.

Does this happen to you a lot?

The super subtle
lesbian setup? Yeah.

But at least you're cute.

You know, usually
it's like, uh...

like some woman
who looks like a fat mayor

from an old cartoon strip

or like Lauren with
the backwards Kangol cap

who makes beer.

- I don't know.
- But we're both lesbians,

so we obviously have
to get married right away.

Yes, yes, oh, God.

I still hate that word
though, "lesbian."

- Really?
- Yeah.

Well, "gay" is no better.

I feel like "gay" is better.

"Gay" is better
'cause it's not like--

'cause "lesbian" sounds like
a mad lizard or like a...

like a Hogwarts house
that nobody wants to be in.

You know? "Lesbian."

You're right, you're right.
"Gay" is a lot better.

So what are you doing?

Why would you ever
in a million years be here?

- Well, I grew up here.
- Oh, okay.

And then I went out to New York
for a while, and I'm here again.

Oh, so you're back.

Yeah, back,
but not for long.

Um, what's the scene
like out here?

Eh, it's, you know,
it's not bad.

There are actual
gay people here.

It's not like you
have to just sit around,

jacking off
to all the L Word reruns

or anything like that.

- There's not shame in that.
- No, I guess not.

- There's a couple places.
- Yeah?

I mean, we can go right now,
if you want to go.

- You wanna get outta here?
- Fuck yeah.

- Oh, shit, okay.
- Mm-hmm.

Fuck it.

Okay.

You good? You're done?

- I gotta pregame.
- Let's go.

I'm a musician.

Oh, gosh.

Wanna tell me where you were?

Out.

I called you three times.
You couldn't pick up?

My phone died.

I didn't know whether to
start calling hospitals or--

- Jesus, Mom, I'm fine.
- Don't you dare Jesus me.

- Calm down.
- Calm down?

You expect me
to be here for you,

and you can't give me
a flying phone call?

Okay, I'll call you next time.
Are we done?

I couldn't sleep, wondering
where you could possibly be.

Really, Mom? You can't imagine?
Think really hard.

Whoever conceals their sins
does not prosper...

Mom, stop the scripture shit.
I'm not Dad.

Well, I don't know
how to talk to you.

- Then don't.
- Look, I'm sorry

if that's not the first place
my mind goes.

We didn't do that kind of stuff
when we were your age.

No, you didn't do
that kind of thing.

Everyone else did.

- Now you're just being mean.
- I'm just telling the truth.

You and Dad didn't even
sleep in the same room.

Don't you dare pretend to know
anything about our marriage.

You have absolutely no idea.

What, that you literally
nagged Dad to death?

Yeah, I have an idea.
But you know what?

That's your shit.
That's not my shit.

I have plenty of my own shit.

And having one night
of ungodly behavior

doesn't even make
my list of shit.

- It's a vacation from my shit.
- Stop saying that word!

I am not like you.
Jesus fucking Christ!

Good morning.
I made breakfast. You want some?

So, uh, so I thought we could
go have a girls' day,

maybe go shopping.

What do you think?

Mom, I was hungover.
I had too much to drink.

Really? You're gonna use
that excuse with me?

- I was tired.
- I did not deserve that.

Look, you know how I get
when I drink.

Could you at least respect me
in my house enough

not to take the Lord's name
in vain?

I'm sorry.

So, uh, so you gonna
come with me or what?

Wow.

- Well, hello.
- Hey, dude, what's up?

How are you?

Hey, Elyse,
this is my mom Ann.

- Hi.
- Mom, this is Elyse.

Oh, this is
Mitch Cunningham's wife.

Oh, my gosh, hi.

So you're the one who's
responsible for all this talent.

Yeah, she got it all
from me.

I've heard so much about you
from Sue.

It's nice to put
a face to a name.

Oh, you know
my mother-in-law.

Yeah, she's a friend.

- This is such a lovely shop.
- Thank you.

It's my little piece of Paris
right here in the Lou.

So what brings you two
in today?

You here to walk around
and not buy anything?

There's a bunch of new stuff in
to not buy.

Oh, ha ha,
but the joke's on you

'cause I'm buying my mom
a whole new wardrobe

from this century.

I like my clothes.
You're such a snob.

- Isn't she?
- Yeah.

Hey, I didn't bring you here
so you guys could gang up on me.

Are you sure? It's free.
It's right in your budget.

- What?

372.24.

Oh, no, no, no.
Rebecca, please.

- Let me help out, come on.
- No, Mom, stop.

Please, let me.
Consider it back rent.

Thank you.

Wait one second.

What, I spend some cash,

and you think I'm gonna
buy the whole store?

It's on the house.

You don't charge enough
for lessons anyway.

Hey, you know what?
I don't.

- It looks good on you.
- It's beautiful.

Thanks. Here's 300
and five, six...

I can't believe we got my mom
into that miniskirt. Jesus.

I think that's the first time
I've ever seen her knees.

I can't believe
your mom was a nun.

Nuns feel like so from
another era or something.

Shit.

My mom's a real
C-U-Next-Tuesday.

Can't you just say "cunt?"

Can you say "cunt?"

Can you please say "cunt?"

Okay, fine.

Cunt.

So how does she feel
about the whole gay thing?

Not great. You know,
she's coming around,

just as long as
I spare her the details.

- Hey.
- Will there be anything else?

No, we're good, thank you.

So you and Amy left pretty fast
the other day.

Oh, yeah, well,
it's not like that.

She's really cool,
but she's not...

- Not your type.
- Ehh.

I like girlier, femmier girls.
Whatever.

Got it.
So does that mean

that you won't be
getting back together

with Dave any time soon?

That was high school.

I didn't really figure it out
until college.

Do you want to know
what happened?

Yeah.

Oh! All right.

Well, I was in love
with this girl,

and I was in total denial
about it,

so to get her
out of my system,

I thought I would
go to a frat party

and just fuck
the first guy I saw.

And so I was in the bathroom,

and I was on my knees,
giving this guy a blow job,

and I remember I had
his dick in one hand

and his balls in the other,

and I didn't know
what I was doing,

and he was like,
"What the fuck are you doing?"

And I just remember
I was crying,

and at that moment,

I knew that I was...

a hundred percent,
you know, gay.

Wow. That's...

Sorry.

I should get going.

- Was it the ball fondling?
- No, no.

Mitch is at home,
and he works a lot.

Oh, yeah. I'll settle up.

Have a good night.

Bye.

Bye.

What do I owe you?

Drinks are on the house.

Thanks, man.

You know that she's the wife
of my good friend?

You're not one of those people
who think that all lesbians

want to just fuck
every woman in sight?

No, I'm not.

I just think that you want
to fuck her specifically.

Come on, she's my student,
and she's married,

and I don't live here,
and she's really WASPY.

Well, it's good to know
you haven't thought about it.

Dude...

Look, just know that your
powers are a lot stronger

than you realize.

Thank you, Yoda,

but you've nothing
to worry about, okay?

All right?

A-one, a-two, a-three.

Ah, hey!

Someone's been practicing.

Oh, God, I'm tone deaf.
You are the singer.

Oh, you just need something
to get it out of you, hmm?

You are gonna play with me
at Perfecto's.

And you are going to get
your head checked.

Come on, one song.

It's good to have deadlines
and goals and shit,

so I've been told.

I would die.
I would die on the stage.

You will be singing,
and I will be dead.

Well, you don't have a choice.

It's now a mandatory part
of the lesson plan.

Okay, fine, one song.

As long as no one I know
is there.

Deal.

We have like 15 minutes left,

so we're gonna do this
a couple times more, ready?

- Okay.
- All right, here we go.

A-one, a-two,
a-one, two, three, four.

Hey, it's Pete.
Leave a message.

- I'll try to get back to you.
- [beep]

Hey, it's me.

I am home.

And I thought--

I know you're out doing
your thing that you do,

but I thought maybe
you could give me a call,

and we could catch up.

Okay.

KTVI, St. Louis.

Live, local, late-breaking.

Are you kidding me?
I am not wearing this.

What is it, like 1994?

The 90's are back,
you dumb bitch.

Will Lucy be forced
to get jiggy

with Kimmy's fashion choices,

or will she get
saved by the bell?

Let's hope these two
can get their act together

before they get
their "act" together.

You have to go on!
The room is packed!

I have a visual processing
disorder, okay?

Will Kimmy put
the brakes on Lucy's big break?

Find out on the series premiere
of Rock or Walk,

only on the Rainbow Network.

Thank you, thank you.

So tonight I'm gonna
switch it up a bit

and bring on some new energy.

Elyse, come on up.

- Give her a round of applause.

So I used to do duets
all the time with my ex,

but I don't anymore
on the count of that she sucks.

But I made an exception here,
of course.

I just wrote this song,
it's a new song,

and if you like what you hear,

maybe you'll sign up
for some guitar lessons,

and if you don't like
what you hear,

well, someone hasn't
been practicing.

She's a great teacher.

- I'll slip you the 20 later.

Yeah. Are you ready?

Yeah.

One, two, three, four.

- That was awesome.
- Yeah.

Oh, that was so awesome.

- You're incredible.
- Yeah? Was I okay?

Yeah! You destroyed it.
Did you hear that crowd?

I'm gonna have to find
another bar to play at.

Dude, gimme five.
Amazing.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Oh, my fucking God!

Hey, sis!

Mom, Mom, get out here!

You piece of shit.

You can't return a phone call,
but you just show up.

Oh, my gosh.

What are you doing here?

I was in the neighborhood
and, you know.

Ohh!

Why did you stop shaving?

I missed you too.

Well, how long are you staying?
Can you stay?

- It depends.
- Depends on what?

You're not gonna make me
bring a jello salad

to a potluck or something,
right?

- Dude, you made Mom crazy.
- Excuse me.

For once, I actually have the
two of you under the same roof.

- Yeah.
- Ohh! I can't believe it.

Yeah, I was crashing with
this chick in Venice Beach

until she finally
kicked me out,

so I figured I'd head
to Lauderdale for the fall,

bartend near the beach.

You're killing it at life.

I guarantee you,
every dude with a mortgage

and a moderately hot wife
in yoga pants

wishes he was me.

God, this room is like
a time capsule.

I don't know what
that says about Mom.

No, there's something
kinda comforting about it.

Yeah, 'cause you get to revert.

So should we rock out
some Backstreet Boys

- and pretend you're straight?
- Fuck off.

Don't talk shit
about Backstreet.

And Mom hasn't touched a thing.

There's probably still
a bunch of Dad's bottles

hidden everywhere.

Speaking of...

Aha! Nice.

Dad never got the good stuff,
so you are stepping it up.

I swiped it from Dave's bar.

Uh-huh, yup.

Oh, Hagstrom Super Swede.

How very Zappa of you.

You still play?

Only when I'm trying
to score pussy.

Oh, God, that is
so straight of you.

Why? If it weren't for pussy,

no guy would ever
pick up a guitar.

Guitars are hard.
You do it for the same reason.

No. I do it because
the world needs music,

and it is a universal language
that brings everyone together.

And the pussy.

Ooh, Mom's not gonna like that.

Oh, she's mellowing out.

Hey, what's with that?
New look, new clothes.

I've taken her on
as my project.

Can a former uptight nun
be Joan Jett?

It's like backwards
My Fair Lady.

I did that with a girl once.

So how long you planning
on sticking around for?

I don't know.

I thought it would just be
a couple of weeks,

but I kinda like it.

Oh, come on.
These are not our people.

I know, but I've met
some cool ones.

- Ruh-roh.

What poor girl's life
are you ruining now?

Oh, wouldn't you like to know.

- I would like to know.

Yeah.

Ugh.

Come here, give me the--
Okay, so here.

This is great.
I just had an idea.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna play,

but you're gonna play,
and I'm gonna drink,

and we're gonna see
what we can do. Ready?

- Yeah, okay.
- Here we go. Are you ready?

- Yeah.
- And...

One more time. I'm sorry.

Wait, just wait.
Let me take a sip.

Okay, now I'm gonna sound
like I got whiskey voice.

- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.

- This hurts my fingers.

Oh, you pussy.
Fucking pussy, man.

This bed is so hard.
Where did you get it?

It's the guest bedroom.
We didn't exactly splurge.

If I bought a Serta
and swapped it in,

you think Mitch would notice?

He didn't even notice
when I cut my hair last year.

I would notice.

This isn't about him.

I'm just a boring housewife

who's bored
with her boring life.

Such a cliché.

I'm sorry.

Am I boring you now?

No. God.

I was taking it easy
'cause you're a newbie,

but I got a pocketful
of all kinds of weird shit.

- Shut up.
- Nope, it's too late.

It's too late.
Gotta step up my game.

Do you...

you...

have...

an old-timey washboard?

A fun house mirror?

And an oversized slingshot?

It's gonna be good.
It's gonna be good.

Come over here.

- You're my beard, man.
- I'm your beard?

- Breakfast, homies.
- Honey, that's so thoughtful.

Morning.

You see that baby?
Baby James Franco.

Eww. Maybe that was
James Franco.

Maybe living like a baby is
one of his new art projects.

He is so good.

- Or not.
- It's impossible to tell.

- Shit.
- What?

Ehh, just a friend
canceled a thing.

Mm, that is not a friend
"shit."

Mm-hmm, you're right.

It's never gonna
work out anyway.

Uh-oh, you fall for
a straight girl again?

She's married.

To Mitch Cunningham.

Mitch--

Mitch the Bitch?

That fucking asshole?

Oh, man,
if Mom ever found out...

Good thing she still considers
suicide a mortal sin.

God, she's so hot.

She's all sweet and innocent
in a sexy-as-fuck way.

I take back
what I said about leaving.

You have to stay.
This is too good.

I want constant updates
on the drama.

Can you take something serious
for once in your life?

Can you?
I mean, she's married.

That's a lot of people
to fuck with, Becks.

Well, she's unhappy.

I don't think it's gonna last.

Well, you know,
who am I to judge?

If it feels like
the right thing to do,

follow your heart
and all that shit.

You could
always name a song.

You could put
some wicked harmony on...

Ah, gotta go.

What, the shit friend
uncanceled?

Hey, are you gonna
be home later?

I don't know. Why?

Wait, why?

Oh, no, you're not
bringing her home.

- Hey, bye.
- Eww.

Leave a sock on the door.

How did I not know
I was gay?

I feel like I'm having sex
with a high schooler.

Well, I did have sex in here
when I was a high school.

- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

Granted, there was
a lot more dick involved.

What was Dave like
in bed anyway?

It was fast and gross.

And it wasn't even him,
you know?

I just-- I don't know--

I just never felt comfortable.

It just didn't feel right.

Not like with you.

Hey.

What happened?

I don't know what I'm doing.

What?

Hey.

Tell me, what's up?

You're gonna leave,

and I'm going to be
right back to where I was.

- What if didn't leave?
- Oh, please.

You've had one foot out the door
since you got here.

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

If I stayed,
would you want to be with me?

Hey.

Wanna try something?

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

From your secret pocket
of lesbian tricks?

It'll be fun.

Oh!

Mom!

Jesus Christ.

No, I'm good, I'm good.

Oh, God.

I can have another drink.

Hi, this is Elyse.
I'm not here right now,

but if you leave me a message,
I'll call you back

as soon as I can.
Thank you.

[beep]

Hey, Elyse, it's me.

Can we talk about this?

All right, call me back. Bye.

Are you gonna bail
without saying goodbye?

You know I can't handle
Mom drama.

You saw her?

I heard her crying
in her room all night.

Fuck.

I told you, she's not ready
for that kind of stuff.

All the new clothes in the world

are not gonna change the fact
that she's still Mom.

I wasn't trying
to do that, Pete.

I love you, Becks,
I really do, and I love Mom,

but I'm telling you, she's
better off here without us.

How the fuck would you know?

You left right
after the funeral.

Are you gonna bring that up
every time I see you?

All you ever do is run away.

Some families are just
better off apart.

Where did you read that,
Shitty Sons Weekly?

God. Bye.

Oh, hey, Becks.

Hey, uh...

I'm sorry.
Elyse isn't here.

Did you have a lesson today?

You know what?
She's at the mall with her mom,

- but I can give her a call.
- No, uh...

That's okay.

I got my schedule mixed up.

I think I forgot
my guitar anyway.

You okay?

Yeah, just busy, I guess.

Mm. Nothing a beer can't fix.

- Come on in.
- No, I gotta go.

Come on, I've been wanting
to talk to you anyway,

so this is perfect,
come on.

You follow the Cards?

A little.

No, not really.

Well, they're killing it
this season.

Best team in baseball.

So yeah, I just wanted
to take a chance

to thank you for giving
Elyse these lessons.

She's like
a different person now.

No problem.

I don't know
how much she told you,

but we've been trying to have
a kid like for a while now.

I don't want to get into
all the medical stuff,

but it's been hard.

I didn't know.

Oh, yeah.

She's been down a lot lately.

She feels like,
I don't know, a failure?

Now she sings around the house
all the time.

She practices guitar
when I go to bed.

So I guess these lessons
have been a nice,

I don't know,
distraction, I guess.

Glad I could help.

Oh, do me a favor.

Don't tell her that I talked
to you about any of this.

I don't want her to think
I was talking about her,

you know, behind her back.

Yeah.

Hey, whatever it is
you're doing, keep it up.

Hi, Mom.

Your brother left...

without saying goodbye.

He probably just went
to go see some friends.

No. He took his stuff.

I already cleaned his room.

Are we gonna talk about this?

I think seeing it
was quite enough.

I suppose you'll be wanting
to head out soon.

- Are you kicking me out?
- I don't know.

I'm not sure this is
the right place for you anymore.

I thought you liked
having me here.

Yeah, I did, but I'm thinking
maybe a little bit of distance

might be better for us.

I just can't have you
disrespecting my house

like that.

You know what?
I'm an adult.

Adults have sex.

I am so sorry
you had to see that.

Believe me,
it was fucked up for me too.

It was disgusting.

Disgusting?

You know, you can go to as many
pride parades as you want,

but you're never gonna
understand that being gay

means I fuck women.

I am sorry if that is
too much for you to handle.

Get over yourself, Rebecca.
I don't care who you fuck, okay?

You just seduced
a confused woman

who happens to be married
to my friend's son.

What am I supposed
to say to her now?

- Do you not understand?
- I'm in love with her.

You're in love with her?

Honey, you said two months ago
you were in love with Lucy,

and now who's it
gonna be next month?

What is wrong with you?
I don't get it.

You have no consideration
of anybody else's feelings.

Do you think being gay
is an excuse for being selfish?

Is that what it is?

You know what?

Regardless of what you
may think about me,

I had a pretty nice life here
before you showed up.

And I'm not gonna let you
take that away from me.

I'll leave in the morning.

Good.

Hey.

Did Mitch see you leave?

No. He fell asleep
on the sofa.

Are you okay?

No.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Shh.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Wait, wait, hey, wait.

Wait, wait.

I have to leave.

I have to go back
to New York.

Will you come?
Come with me.

Oh, God.

Please. I mean it.

We can be so good together.

Please.

What about Mitch?

You don't want him.

You want me.

Hey, I should go.

He's gonna be up soon.

Okay.

I'm just-- I'm gonna go home
and get my stuff, okay?

I'll be back in about an hour.

Yeah, okay.

Hey.

I love you.

I love you too.

Hey, honey?