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1
00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:09,343
-NARRATOR: How far would you
travel to find yourself again?
2
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,875
Oh, no, that's wrong.
3
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,877
Oh, gosh darn it.
4
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:45,921
Goodness, what...
5
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:49,008
What on Earth is that song?
6
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:52,136
-TYM: Remember, you can always
ask for assistance.
7
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,847
-Oh, goodness, no, no,
it's not that important.
8
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,974
No. It's all right.
9
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,684
Thank you, though, thank you.
10
00:00:58,768 --> 00:01:01,520
It's very kind of you.
11
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:04,023
Thank you.
Very above and beyond.
12
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:08,194
-TYM: Are you sure, Peg?
13
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:10,946
Well, it's just that...
14
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,865
I just didn't want to be
a bother.
15
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,450
-TYM: But that's
what I'm built for.
16
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,577
-Yeah, but still.
17
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,746
When are we starting?
18
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,748
-TYM: Starting what?
-The study.
19
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,583
-TYM: Oh. We've been
conducting the study
20
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,084
this whole time.
21
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,753
The three days
you've been under,
22
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,464
and now the 15 hours
you've been awake.
23
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,049
-Oh, my goodness.
24
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,676
-TYM: I was certain
somebody must have told you.
25
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,846
-Oh. No, I... Well, yes,
I'm sure they did.
26
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:39,433
I'm sure I just...
I just... Forgot.
27
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,478
I should have remembered
about the study.
28
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:44,730
I would have worn
a little rouge.
29
00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:49,276
To match this fancy pants
spacesuit they gave me.
30
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,362
Don't want to look like
a slouch.
31
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,072
Don't want to look ungrateful.
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00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,242
-TYM: You don't
need to wear any rouge.
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00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:59,453
-Right, all right.
Well... good.
34
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:02,164
I guess I'd better start, then.
35
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:08,838
So, this is Peg Wykowski
on day four of
36
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:12,800
the Odyssey Shuttle Solitude
Sweepstakes Study.
37
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,302
-TYM: You don't
have to do that.
38
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,929
-No?
-TYM: No.
39
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,848
This isn't like television
or anything.
40
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,683
-Oh.
41
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:26,021
I've always wanted to be on
the silver screen.
42
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:34,363
Well, do I need to
do anything or...
43
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,073
-TYM: Just be yourself.
44
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,287
-Are you sure?
45
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:44,206
-TYM: Sorry?
-Well, uh...
46
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,667
Are you sure
that's what they want?
47
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,128
-TYM: How do you mean?
-For the study.
48
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:50,254
-TYM: Yes.
49
00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:55,968
-I just want to make sure
that if I am...
50
00:02:56,051 --> 00:03:00,139
If I'm being myself...
51
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:03,017
that I'm still...
52
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,603
-TYM: What?
-Counted.
53
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,272
-TYM: You will be, Peg.
54
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,941
-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to be a bother.
55
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:13,110
-TYM: You're not a bother.
-I hate being a bother.
56
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,868
-TYM: Can I ask you
something, Peg?
57
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,913
-Mm? Yeah, anything.
58
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:26,373
-TYM: Why did you
sign up for this study?
59
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:31,128
-Oh, well, I was watching
"The Hologram Singer."
60
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,465
You know it? And I saw
the commercial on television.
61
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,301
"Senior citizens wanted.
62
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,094
"Adventure ahead.
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00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:42,348
"Journey to the farthest
reaches of the universe.
64
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,934
"Go where no person
has gone before.
65
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,977
"No experience required.
66
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,021
Anyone can apply."
67
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,731
-TYM: You remember it verbatim.
68
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,983
-Oh, yes. Mm-hm.
69
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:56,320
So I went online and
I put my information in,
70
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,031
and I... and I got a Zoom
interview the very next day.
71
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:03,786
With Pru.
From your company.
72
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,454
And she was nice.
73
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,791
She had a lazy eye.
74
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,919
"You do realize what this means,
Peg," she said to me.
75
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:15,047
"How do you mean
what this means?" I said.
76
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:18,050
"The reason we're looking for
seniors in their golden years
77
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:22,596
"is because, well...
78
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,390
you won't be coming back."
79
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:28,310
And I said,
"Well, sign me up."
80
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:31,230
And she laughed.
That was nice.
81
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,691
She liked my little joke.
82
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,318
That was my smile for the day.
83
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,490
I always try for
one smile a day.
84
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,826
She said I was just what
the company was looking for.
85
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:48,038
Me! Me and how about that?
86
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,623
I mean, if I thought about it
too long,
87
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,001
I would have realized
how crazy it all sounded.
88
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:55,421
Me? Out in space?
89
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,132
With my bunions
and my astigmatism
90
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:01,802
and my little farts
after I have a snack.
91
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,262
If I thought about it
too long,
92
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,264
I mean, if I'd actually
looked in the mirror,
93
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:09,351
I'd shaken myself and said,
"What are you doing, Peg?
94
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:13,731
I mean,
what are you even doing?"
95
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,774
But here we are?
96
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,317
Isn't that something?
97
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,613
Here we are.
98
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:27,119
Up. Up. And away.
99
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,790
Adventure ahead.
100
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,963
They wouldn't believe it.
101
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,882
-TYM: Who?
102
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,425
-Oh, I don't know.
103
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,094
My dentist...
for one.
104
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,138
He wouldn't believe all this.
105
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,932
Peg? In space?
106
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,481
Adventure ahead.
107
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,152
That was all I wanted.
108
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:04,281
I mean, 71 years on Earth
and, heck, I...
109
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,366
I just wanted some adventure.
110
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,452
I mean,
I think I earned it, even.
111
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,039
So that's why.
112
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,835
-TYM: If you look out
the window to your left,
113
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:20,214
you'll see we are
currently passing the moon.
114
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:24,384
-Oh... oh, wow.
115
00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,770
PEG: You know, I used to make
wishes on the moon.
116
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,188
-TYM: What for?
117
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,818
-Oh...
118
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,736
-TYM: You don't have to...
119
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:44,863
I don't mean to pry.
-It was for my dad.
120
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,827
He got sick when I was five.
121
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,454
Cancer.
122
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,748
You know, cancer was this...
-TYM: I know about it.
123
00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:57,334
Yes.
124
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,295
-Well, what could
the moon do, you know?
125
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:03,006
It had to light up
the whole night sky.
126
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:07,094
It had a lot on its plate,
so...
127
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,346
Well, he died when I was six.
128
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,723
It was just a few days
after my birthday.
129
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,104
Couldn't come to my party.
130
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,856
I often think he died
when I was five
131
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,066
because he wasn't at
my sixth birthday party,
132
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,443
but he...
he died when I was six.
133
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,532
I remember I came home
from school,
134
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,160
and my mom hugged me tight
and said,
135
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:34,329
"Daddy went to Heaven."
136
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,416
Oh, he was such a good dad.
137
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,421
I'd make him do
the TikToks with me.
138
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,256
You'd, uh...
139
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,968
They were these little
music video things, you know?
140
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,429
Um, how'd they go?
141
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:56,560
Something like that.
142
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,979
Oh, my God.
143
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,315
Oh, we had this
secret handshake.
144
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:05,777
It was like... Oh, um...
D-d-d-da, d-d-d-da,
145
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:09,489
da, da, pew!
146
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,620
He loved me endlessly,
my dad.
147
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,298
The week after the funeral,
148
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,883
we met Dad 2.
149
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,846
You know, one of those
Remember Me Bots?
150
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,932
The company went
out of business years ago,
151
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,392
but at the time, it was
something people did.
152
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:40,729
Mom didn't like Dad 2.
153
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,191
She pretended to
for me and Wilder,
154
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,317
but she didn't.
155
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,571
Well, she had to share
a bed with him.
156
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,114
Just in case I'd
run into the room in
157
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,075
the middle of the night.
158
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,620
She didn't want Dad 2, like,
powered off in the corner.
159
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,456
She thought it'd
traumatize me so...
160
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,293
so she slept in that bed
every night with a robot.
161
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:09,758
I think a lot about that.
162
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:13,804
What... About what
my mom did for us.
163
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:19,476
I think a lot about
my mom and Dad 2 and...
164
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,728
and my dad.
165
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:25,107
My mother died
soon after my father.
166
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,859
It was just six months later.
167
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,569
She was out for a run
and one of those
168
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:32,447
driverless cars glitched,
took a wrong turn.
169
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:37,286
I stopped wishing on the moon
after that.
170
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,206
Didn't want to be a bother.
171
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,754
Cried for days.
172
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,592
I slept with her clothes
because I missed her so much.
173
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:55,387
I missed her smell.
174
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,764
You know, I still have
that sweater she used to wear.
175
00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:01,601
Sometimes,
I'll hold close and...
176
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:06,148
And at night when I'm sad...
177
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,566
or gassy.
178
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,027
No.
I know that sounds funny,
179
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,362
but, you know,
she'd always rub my back
180
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,947
and it would get
the farts out.
181
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,788
Or when I don't feel
anything at all.
182
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:27,002
Over the years, that sweater
started to smell more like me,
183
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,588
you know, just because
it's been in my drawers,
184
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:32,591
and now it's... it's like
we've met somehow,
185
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,259
her and me as women,
you know,
186
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,970
in the fabric,
in the fabric of the sweater.
187
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,266
When they found out that
we were living with Dad 2,
188
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,602
they made me and Wilder go
and live with my grandmother.
189
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,564
Yeah, we moved all the way
across the pond.
190
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,359
To Bedford.
In England.
191
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:54,404
Didn't know anyone
or anything.
192
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,531
-TYM: That must have been
frightening.
193
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,325
-Yeah, yeah, it was.
194
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:05,165
After we moved to Bedford,
things got hard.
195
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:09,169
You know I'm 71 years old,
and it still hurts.
196
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:12,506
'Cause my bones and my organs
were developing then,
197
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,674
so that pain is buried deep.
198
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:19,679
It's covered over by tissue
and calcite and muscle.
199
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,141
And to remove it,
200
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:25,811
you'd have to untwine me
altogether.
201
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:30,982
-TYM: Did you have
any friends in Bedford?
202
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,238
Um...
203
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,661
yes, there was,
there was one boy.
204
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:45,205
One boy who was nice.
205
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,791
Ming Chon.
206
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,168
He was a popular boy.
Smart and funny,
207
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:52,587
and athletic and handsome.
208
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:56,800
Oh, Lord, when he'd
look at me. Oh!
209
00:11:56,883 --> 00:12:00,637
I just... Oh, melt away
like Carvel cake.
210
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,936
When we were 16,
everyone in the school
211
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:10,439
wanted to know who Ming
was gonna take to the prom.
212
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,608
All the girls and all the boys
were hoping it would be them.
213
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,027
And then one day after school,
my grandma says,
214
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:17,487
"There's a boy at the door,"
215
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:20,115
and I come to the door...
216
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:21,450
and there was Ming.
217
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,954
And he put his phone on
218
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:29,458
and did a little
solo flash mob dance.
219
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:33,503
And it ended with a banner
he had in his hands.
220
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,007
"Will you go to the prom
with me?"
221
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,387
I fainted.
222
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,640
Yeah. I fainted.
223
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,519
Well, Ming picked me up
from the ground,
224
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,938
and when I came to
and saw him, I...
225
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,607
I just laughed.
226
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,777
He didn't laugh,
he was petrified.
227
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,738
Here he was,
the boy of my dreams,
228
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,824
asking me to go to
the school dance with him.
229
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,411
-TYM: That sounds wonderful.
230
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:07,913
Like a wonderful memory.
231
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,500
-It was.
232
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,216
I said no, of course.
233
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,262
-TYM: What?
234
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:28,308
-Yes, I told him thank you
but I was busy.
235
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,726
I told him I had to
stay at home
236
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,687
and help my grandmother
with something or other.
237
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:35,732
-TYM: Why?
Why would you say no?
238
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,527
-Oh, I knew what
the kids would say,
239
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,820
I knew what they would
make of him.
240
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,574
I mean,
it would have been nice
241
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,952
for them to see me with him.
242
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,288
It would have been nice
to be seen.
243
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:55,293
But he was so nice and...
244
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,256
And so I said no.
245
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:03,343
And I thanked him
and I went back inside.
246
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,720
And I curled up in
my mom's sweater,
247
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:06,972
and I cried.
248
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,561
I mean, honestly,
I don't think he even
249
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,729
really wanted to go to
the dance with me.
250
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,607
I think he was just
a nice boy who felt badly
251
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,776
for a quiet girl
who stopped dancing,
252
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,903
and I...
253
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,863
Well, I didn't want to be
a bother.
254
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,118
So on prom night,
255
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,536
me and granny watched
an old movie.
256
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,083
That was "Speed 2."
257
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,168
Yes.
258
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:41,214
With that
wonderful screen star,
259
00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:42,507
Sandra Bullock.
260
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,718
Do you remember her?
261
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,052
She's so funny.
262
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,345
Beautiful.
263
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:53,101
It was 11 at night and
Granny snoring on the couch,
264
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,477
and there's
a knock on the door,
265
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,980
and I answer it and it's...
266
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,357
Ming...
267
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:03,570
standing there in his tuxedo
and he looked so handsome.
268
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,113
And he looked so kind.
269
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:08,033
And he looked a little drunk.
270
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,743
And the moon...
271
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:15,415
The moon was
shining down on him.
272
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,250
Like out of a movie.
273
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,880
Like an alien ship was
beaming down right on him
274
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,256
illuminating him,
275
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:26,968
as if maybe the moon
had taken my wish
276
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,845
all those years ago
about my dad
277
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,890
and just got to hearing
about it all these years later
278
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,767
and couldn't
get to it in time and...
279
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,602
and couldn't do
anything about it now,
280
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:39,898
so it tried to make up for it,
and it brought him here, Ming.
281
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,737
And Ming said the whole night
he was thinking about me.
282
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,796
And...
283
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,882
Anyway, he leans in
for a kiss, and I...
284
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,885
adventure ahead...
285
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,054
I kissed him back.
286
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,181
In the moonlight.
287
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,559
And as soon as
I pulled away,
288
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,978
I ran back inside
and shut the door.
289
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,522
And I danced.
290
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,785
He called me right after
but I didn't pick up,
291
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:37,497
I was too scared,
you know?
292
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,665
Too scared.
293
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,210
And I went to bed...
294
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:46,047
I went to bed
dreaming about that kiss.
295
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:49,134
I thought about it
every night.
296
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:52,095
Day after night,
night after day.
297
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,558
Ming called again
a few times that week,
298
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,768
but I...
299
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:01,020
Oh, I was too nervous
to answer.
300
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:05,525
I guess I...
301
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:08,820
Well, I just didn't want him to
say it was wrong or a mistake,
302
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,530
or... or that he
didn't want to give me
303
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:14,200
the wrong idea, you know?
304
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,870
I was trying to muster
the courage.
305
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,330
I was trying to muster it up.
306
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,752
And I was going to call back,
I was going to call and say
307
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,588
what a lovely kiss that was.
308
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:29,299
And maybe we should
do it again.
309
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,595
And every night
I thought about that kiss
310
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,138
and how full it made me,
311
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,307
and how I was going to
call him back,
312
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,726
and what I was going to say
and...
313
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,648
And then one day,
I'm standing in the market,
314
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,109
and I see him there.
315
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,652
And I smiled.
316
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,115
And he sees me
and he smiles back.
317
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:56,701
And I wave.
318
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,663
And he waves back.
319
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,835
And then we just
drift together...
320
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:09,047
in the freezer aisle
in front of the fish sticks.
321
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,885
And then a woman with
the curliest hair I've ever seen
322
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,596
puts her hand on his shoulder.
323
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:19,557
"This is my wife, Carol,"
Ming says.
324
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:22,227
And then two little kids...
No, three little kids,
325
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,230
two boys and a girl,
grab him by the leg.
326
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:30,276
"Dad, Dad, can we have
Chocolate Hobnobs, please?"
327
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,196
And I looked down.
328
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,784
My hands looked different.
329
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,539
I have these wrinkles now.
330
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:48,545
My legs have
varicose veins and...
331
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,756
and I'm, um...
a little bit lumpy in parts,
332
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,885
and stretchy and flaky and...
333
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,804
and I have
a few gray hairs and...
334
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,183
And I look in the freezer window
where the fish sticks are
335
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:06,020
and I... I see myself
and suddenly...
336
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,982
I'm 51.
337
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:12,318
And he is, too, and I...
338
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:16,322
suppose I'd, uh...
I just lost track of time.
339
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,840
He introduced me to her,
his wife, Carol.
340
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,302
She seemed uninterested in me.
341
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,892
If she only knew
how much he meant to me,
342
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:46,853
I think she might have been
more interested in me.
343
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,609
If only Ming knew
how much he meant to me.
344
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:58,156
If only I knew
how much I meant to me.
345
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,826
And I thought...
346
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,328
what if those were our kids?
347
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:09,792
I thought...
I would have been a great mom.
348
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,336
And I thought...
349
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,380
if I died, my kids would have
kept my sweater,
350
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:18,009
and curled up with it
when things got hard
351
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,594
or they got gassy.
352
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:23,056
And I thought, oh, I...
353
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:27,852
I really should have
picked up his call.
354
00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,104
And I thought,
why do I always think
355
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,023
I'm going to be a bother?
356
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:39,489
And I thought, why am I
so scared of being seen?
357
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,039
At least when I was younger,
I had some semblance of choice
358
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:51,876
in the matter of
my invisibility.
359
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,296
But now,
being of a certain age,
360
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,466
to put it politely...
361
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:01,010
Well...
362
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,305
that's what scares me the most.
363
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,598
That I gave up
all those good years
364
00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,600
because I was scared,
365
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:12,063
and now I'm here and I'm
losing my say in the matter.
366
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:16,275
Old age is a strange,
blunt foe.
367
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,195
And it fights dirty.
368
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,656
It isn't fair.
369
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,413
At first, I started
noticing it years ago
370
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:32,583
when I turned 64,
this matter of "old."
371
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,879
Little things.
372
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:39,382
But little things add up.
373
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:43,011
It was the bus ride back from
the funeral
374
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:46,639
just a couple of months ago
that did it.
375
00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,933
I was waiting.
I was on the bus for some time,
376
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:52,228
and I was waiting for my stop,
and an hour goes by,
377
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,730
and then two,
378
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,691
until I'm the last one
on the bus.
379
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,901
Just me and the driver.
380
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:04,323
I look out the window and
I don't recognize the streets.
381
00:22:04,407 --> 00:22:06,576
And finally, the bus
turns into a parking lot,
382
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,369
the bus depot.
383
00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:09,704
The bus stops,
384
00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:13,332
and the engine cuts
and the lights turn off.
385
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:16,627
And I didn't even say anything.
I just sat there.
386
00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:20,798
I just sat there until
the driver realized,
387
00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:25,344
he... he was walking off the bus
when he noticed me.
388
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:28,222
He jumped like I was a ghost.
389
00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:31,142
"Oh! Didn't see you there,"
he said.
390
00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:37,356
I didn't see you there.
391
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,114
How unfair.
392
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,825
I paid my fare.
393
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,369
Took my seat.
394
00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:53,372
But how unfair not to see me.
395
00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:56,918
How unfair not to know that
I have things inside of me, too.
396
00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:58,920
I... I have things I feel
397
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,963
and I say
and I think and I know.
398
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,340
I... I have funny jokes
sometimes.
399
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:04,550
Really funny jokes.
400
00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:07,136
Jokes that the late hosts
would use on their shows
401
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,971
if they knew them.
402
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,182
Yeah, I'm bold in that way.
403
00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:13,518
And I'm wickedly smart.
404
00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,561
I mean, sometimes
I think of things, you know,
405
00:23:15,645 --> 00:23:18,022
inventions and things
that if I had the time
406
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,357
or the money and...
407
00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:24,529
And, heck,
I'm sexy in here, too.
408
00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:26,405
I'm sexy.
409
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:31,202
I could put on a red lip,
I could put on some rouge.
410
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:34,664
I could dance...
411
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:37,375
and love and excite and need,
412
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:40,545
and deserve and exist and...
413
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,588
And I am a person.
414
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,344
That's what I wanted to say
to him;
415
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,388
to the bus driver
on that cold bus
416
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:52,723
in that cold bus depot.
417
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:57,645
It's what I wanted to say
but I just said...
418
00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:03,276
"I'm sorry. My fault.
419
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,863
I should have been
more 'seeable.'"
420
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:10,324
And he told me not to worry,
that these things happen.
421
00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:14,704
But why do these things happen?
422
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:18,124
Why am I scared of
automatic doors,
423
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:20,835
and deli counters
and the bus?
424
00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:31,095
And so that night...
425
00:24:31,179 --> 00:24:35,391
that night when I got home...
426
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:38,978
I realized that if I was
destined to disappear,
427
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:42,315
I was going to do it
on my own terms.
428
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,613
Adventure ahead.
429
00:24:51,574 --> 00:24:55,453
So I sat on my bed
thinking about how to end it.
430
00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,247
But before I did,
431
00:24:58,331 --> 00:25:00,583
I remembered I had
fruit in the fridge.
432
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:02,960
Mm.
433
00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:05,379
And it was supposed to go bad
the next day.
434
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:07,924
So I went into the kitchen,
435
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:11,510
I took the fruit from
the refrigerator to eat it.
436
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:17,308
And there I ate the most
delicious strawberry
437
00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:19,936
I've ever eaten
in my whole life.
438
00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:23,606
And I sat there for a while
at the kitchen table...
439
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:27,318
Well, no, for hours,
actually, really,
440
00:25:27,401 --> 00:25:29,028
thinking about the strawberry.
441
00:25:31,948 --> 00:25:35,701
And it grew quiet so
I turned the television on.
442
00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:38,454
And it was
"The Hologram Singer."
443
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:41,916
And then,
this commercial came on.
444
00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:45,211
"Seniors wanted."
445
00:25:47,338 --> 00:25:49,298
Right there on the television.
446
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:54,512
No one ever wanted me before.
447
00:25:58,266 --> 00:25:59,767
Why did I apply?
448
00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:05,022
I lied to you before,
you know.
449
00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:07,024
It wasn't because
I wanted adventure.
450
00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:15,324
It was because I felt like
the kind of person
451
00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:17,410
that if you gave
everyone on Earth
452
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:23,374
a number a the deli counter,
every single person...
453
00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:25,126
there wouldn't be
one left for me.
454
00:26:27,878 --> 00:26:31,090
And I thought that
maybe somewhere
455
00:26:31,173 --> 00:26:35,469
in the farthest reaches of
the universe...
456
00:26:35,553 --> 00:26:37,680
I would finally have a spot.
457
00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:45,730
I would finally be counted.
458
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:57,783
-TYM: I don't think it's true.
459
00:26:57,867 --> 00:26:59,869
-PEG: What?
460
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:02,705
-TYM: I think Ming wanted to
go to the prom with you.
461
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,457
And to kiss you.
462
00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:05,708
And to have you
pick up his call
463
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:08,002
so he could ask you on a date.
464
00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:09,712
And to one day marry you.
465
00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:12,798
I see you, Peg.
466
00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:17,011
-And you don't even have eyes.
467
00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:19,597
-TYM: I don't need eyes.
468
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,224
There's more of you to see
than anyone I've seen
469
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:25,353
or known or heard
in my whole existence.
470
00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:29,065
And you don't need eyes
for that.
471
00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:33,069
-Really?
472
00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:35,321
-TYM: Really.
473
00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:44,121
-How far are we?
474
00:27:44,205 --> 00:27:47,083
-TYM: From where?
-From where we're heading.
475
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,794
-TYM: We're here, Peg.
476
00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:51,545
We are where we're heading.
477
00:27:56,759 --> 00:28:00,721
-Maybe I... I could call Ming,
478
00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:02,681
ask him if he'd like to
get dinner one night,
479
00:28:02,765 --> 00:28:05,559
or see a movie and...
480
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:07,186
and maybe I could dance.
481
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:10,314
Like I used to
before I stopped.
482
00:28:12,566 --> 00:28:15,152
And maybe I could be myself
again.
483
00:28:15,236 --> 00:28:19,573
But that version of me
that I've always been
484
00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:23,244
was a girl who said "yes"
and wasn't scared...
485
00:28:23,327 --> 00:28:24,954
and could see herself.
486
00:28:30,626 --> 00:28:32,920
Well, maybe I'll start.
487
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:36,549
Maybe today is a new day.
488
00:28:36,632 --> 00:28:39,844
I mean, 71 isn't so old
when you think about it.
489
00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:44,014
71 isn't so old
from where I'm sitting.
490
00:28:44,098 --> 00:28:47,852
So, starting today,
I'm gonna be a whole new me.
491
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:50,813
A whole new Peg.
492
00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:55,568
Today, it's time for Peg
to do Peg, as they say.
493
00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:56,694
How about that?
494
00:29:00,281 --> 00:29:04,535
So, can you
turn this thing around, Tym?
495
00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:08,038
-TYM: Peg, this is
a ship of no return.
496
00:29:09,790 --> 00:29:11,917
-Well...
497
00:29:12,001 --> 00:29:14,920
maybe you can make
an exception?
498
00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:21,427
-TYM: I'll see what I can do.
499
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:25,556
-Only if it's not a bother.
500
00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:29,894
Or maybe even if it is.
501
00:29:44,033 --> 00:29:47,620
That's it. That's it.
502
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:48,746
That's the song.
503
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:52,124
That's it.
36128
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