Original subtitles

[drumroll] [cymbal crash]

[lively music]

[vacuum whirs]

- [laughs]

- [groaning]

- [laughing]

- Whoa!

* *

- Whoa!

[frog ribbiting]

[both laughing]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

* *

[car horn honks]

- Mrowl!

- Ta-da!

[grunts]

- [giggles]

- Whoa! Whoa!

* *

- [vocalizing]

- This is Lil's first try

at crossing the living room on blocks.

- Will she make it? We're about to find out.

- Whoa! Ta-da.

- Her score? A perfectest 10.

- Hey, hey. Ho, ho. All this fighting's gotta go.

[laughs]

How do you like that, sprouts?

50 years of protests and rallies,

and I'm still bringing my A-game

to my favorite annual event-- the March for Peace.

I feel 20 again.

Ah, I gotta get my guitar,

my sage stick, and my rainbow sleeping bag.

Ow! Ow. Ow. Ow, my back.

- Whoa, there must be some big rocks in that bag.

- Maybe falling on the couch is part of the march for peas.

- It's opening day of the sequel

to our favorite movie of all time,

"Final Eclipse". Let's go. What's to discuss?

- Gosh, Stu. So many things.

Like, is there really more story to tell,

if it was the "final" eclipse?

Also, we're supposed to watch the kids

while your father goes to the--

- March for Peace. Oh! - Pop, are you okay?

- Son, have you ever had an elephant sit on your back?

- Once, in a videogame. Why?

- No, you're missing the point.

I pulled my back out.

- Wow. Anything I can do? - Nah, I'll live.

I just won't be making it to the march.

I've never missed one, in 50 years.

- Lou, that's tough.

Do you want to talk about it? - Rather not. Go on.

You boys go enjoy your movie. I'll look after the kids.

- Come on. Before he changes his mind.

- Grandpa! Grandpa! 'Mergency.

Can you open this peanut butter?

- Easy, buttercup.

Grandpa's back has a big old ouchie.

- Sorry to hear, Grandpa. Thanks. Gotta go.

- Knock-knock. We're here.

Stu? Lou? Are you okay?

- Ah, I'm fine. Just hurt my back a little.

- Lou, as a doctor,

I can tell you the best thing for that back is ice and rest.

- Thank you, Lucy, but I'm gonna try

some ancient folk remedies.

You know, detox my energy and purify the air.

- Okay, if that's what the ancient folks wanted.

But do try to get some rest.

I thought Stu was here?

Are you sure you're up to watching all these kids?

- Uh... [laughs]

- I used a porta potty on day three of Woodstock.

I can handle anything. Go on.

- Go easy on Grandpa Lou today, kids.

Thank you, Lou. Get some rest.

- Hi, Susie.

Have you ever heard of a march for peas?

- Oh, yeah, sure.

I do it all the time now.

It's how you walk when you have to pee,

and you aren't near the potty.

- First, they make you give up your diapie.

Then you gotta dance? No, thank you.

- Grandpa's not talking 'bout that kind of pee.

He's talking 'bout the kind you eat.

A march for peas is what the growed-ups call a peas parade.

Like, with floats, and people waving from cars,

and ponies pooping in the street.

both: [gasp] Pooping ponies?

- Hey, what if we have a peas parade for Grandpa?

- Okay! - Yeah!

- Slow down, President Baldy.

We all know what Grandpa's favoritest thing

in the world is.

His 'dorable granddaughter.

If you really wanna cheer him up,

the parade should be all about me.

- Nah. Peas are more fun.

- Sorry, Angelica, but I know Grandpa,

and we're sticking with peas.

- Cynthia, if those dumb babies think they can put

on a better parade than we can,

they got a diaper full of dreams.

- [sighs]

Okay, Lou. Ow.

Breathe in Mother Nature's healing scent,

and breathe out whatever toxic energy no longer serves.

Ow.

Ah, me and the gang spreading peace and love to the masses.

Ah! Jumping Jesse Jetpack!

[fire alarm blaring]

Ugh. Ow.

* *

- See anything green and vegeble-y in there, Susie?

- Nope. Not a vegetable. Not green.

Green, but yucky-looking.

Too bad your Grandpa wasn't gonna go

on a march for tater tots.

Ew.

- Aw, corn babies.

- And I gots hot dog babies.

- Guys, we got to keep

looking for peas for Grandpa's peas parade.

- Found 'em.

- Hello, parade people.

Welcome to the manual Angelica Day Angelica Parade.

I'm your queen, Angelica.

You may throw flowers and candy.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Hey, pay attention, Spike!

[Spike whines]

The mutt's right.

If I'm gonna have a parade for Grandpa,

I need a real float and a real driver.

No offense, Cynthia, but you drive like a doll.

- You think we got enough peas?

- They're still freezeded-ed.

- I know a melty place.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Cold!

[grunts]

- Now the peas are all dirty. What are we gonna do, Tommy?

[jaunty music]

* *

- There--these are the cleanest peas I know.

- Jump in.

We'll make our feet go like the Washington machine.

Faster, Chuckie. Time for the spin cycle.

- I am not a Washington machine.

I'm a human baby.

[grunting]

Whoa!

- Tastes like green.

Try it, Lil.

- Ah, ah, ah!

Aw, I always knowed peas was sneaky.

[suspenseful music]

- Just the baby I was looking for.

I was thinking we could play "Let Lil drive my Cynthia car."

- But you said if we ever droved-ed your Cynthia car,

you'd throw all our toys in the ocean for sharks to eat.

- I say a lot of things.

If you wanna drive the car, follow me.

* *

- Harmonious Dove, you can stop worrying about me.

I'm bringing out the crystal caval--oh!

Ow. Oh. My foot. Ow. And my back. Ow, my foot.

Ow, my back. Oh, my foot. Oh, my back.

Ooh. Oh! Oh.

Ah. Ooh.

My crystals have betrayed me.

- I always knew you'd come in handy one day, Lil.

How's my float coming along?

Did you capture the essence of my ponytails?

- Yep. Take a look.

- [gasps] It's parade perfection.

You earned your right to drive. Hop in.

- [grunting]

[engine starts]

- Ah!

Lil, what are you doing?! Slow down!

I gotta wave to my aboring fans.

Who taught you how to drive?

- No one. Why?

- Because you're terrible!

Whoa!

Lil, you're wrecking everything!

You're totally incontinent!

[yelling]

- We did it, guys.

Now we can bring Grandpa his march for peas.

[phone buzzing] - Ow.

- Seymour Finkelstein?

Hello?

Oh, Moon-Boy.

Hi. Yeah, I guess you heard.

I pulled my back, and the dog

made a big, old mess in the kitchen.

* *

But I'm gonna try the old onion trick

and draw out that negative chi.

I'll see you at the campout.

I'll be the one who smells like onion-flavored feet dip.

[laughs]

Ah, onion juice.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Gah!

Whoa, whoa-whoa!

Oh, oh, ah!

Oh, ah, I--I cannot--oh!

Ah!

Oh, oh! Ah!

[grunting]

Oh. Ow.

Sorry, old friends. I give up.

[lively music]

* *

Hey there, sprouts. What you been up to?

What's in the wagon?

I can't see. Ow.

- [yelling]

Lil, I told you to slow down!

Right now!

[yelling]

Ugh. I don't even like peas.

- [laughing]

- Angelica, are you okay? What's going on?

- Grandpa, I made you a giant float of me

so I could give you a parade,

but the babies wrecked it all with their peas.

- Parade? Peas?

Oh, I can use those to ice my back.

Ow. Oh.

Thank you, Tommy.

Ooh. Ah.

* *

- Anyway, I got this great new coffee bean

from a completely uninhabited island,

and then I--whoa!

What happened here? - Pop?

I thought you were going to the March for Peace.

- I didn't need to.

Got some real flower children right here.

- Oh, that is so sweet.

You're making me tear up.

- I think that's my feet.

[all laughing]

* *

- [vocalizing]

[doorbell ringing]

- Hello, daffodil. - Hi, Grandpa.

My new toy just came special delivery,

and I told Daddy I had to open it

with Tommy and the babies.

- Isn't that sweet?

She's always thinking of her little cousin.

- Uh-oh.

- This can't be good.

- Go on. Open it. - Careful, Tommy.

The last time Angelica tolded me to open a box,

a clown popped out.

[Phil and Lil laugh]

[tense music]

* *

It's worser than a clown.

- It's another Angelica.

- This is my brand new Just Like Me doll.

See? She's just like me!

- Eh, how much like you?

- Duh, Susie. 'Zactly like me.

She looks just like me, and she talks just like me too.

Tell the babies who you are.

- I'm Angelica Pickles.

- Just like me! - I'm three years old.

- Sound familiar?

- My friends all call me Angie.

- No, we don't. - I like you.

- Hold on. Something's wrong.

- Great idea. You're amazing.

Let's share.

- What? I never say that junk.

This isn't just like me at all!

Daddy, Daddy!

I don't like my new toy. Send it back.

- Oh, precious, you can't return a Just Like Me doll.

It's made to order.

Remember, we recorded your voice

so the doll would sound just like you?

And Mommy cut a piece of your hair

so they could make the dolly's hair the same color?

- Technology is terrifying.

What happened to kids having conversations with a sock?

- Oh, and that's not scary?

[jaunty music]

* *

- Hi, Angie.

- Nice to meet you. - I'm Lil, and this is Phil.

- How you pooing?

- Hi. I'm Angie. Wanna play?

- Don't do it, guys.

Sure, she sounds nice,

but a'member, she's just like Angelica.

- Don't worry, Chuckie.

If she were just like Angelica,

would she let me do this?

- Hi there. Nice to meet you.

- Ooh, me next.

Angie, wanna dance?

- I like your style.

- I wanna play hair-messer. - Don't, Lil.

Not that!

Oh.

- You make me happy.

- [laughing] - [groans]

- Wow.

This doll is nothing like Angelica.

- Oh, gee, I guess you're right, Susie.

I wonder if she'll let me, uh--

- Back off, Finster.

Time to shut this doll down. - Oops. Heh.

Don't want to leave your new toy behind.

Let's roll, sprouts.

* *

- Welcome to "Mommy Moments," a show about timeout for you.

I'm here relaxing at Betty's Beans...

And timeout is over. See you next week!

Hey, Pop. - Hey, hey, Didi.

Uh, just making a little pit stop on the way to the park.

Gotta catch up on my reading.

- A newspaper? Oh, no. Pop.

I knew this day would come.

Luckily, I'm free to help out. - What? Why?

- Reading is very distracting.

Even looking away from the babies

[phone dings] for a split second could be--

ooh, flash sale at the craft store.

[upbeat music]

* *

- Push!

I wanna go higher.

- Let's ask a grownup.

- I wasn't talking to you!

Babies, push harder.

- I'm Angie. I like you.

- I said, push harder!

- Hey, there. - [giggles]

- You're pushing her?!

- Sorry, Angelica. We can't help it.

Angie's so nice.

[babies laughing]

- Always better to have

an extra set of eyes on the children.

- Eh, kids basically watch themselves.

I used to drop Stu and Drew

at the mall with a compass and some fruit leathers.

What?

They had everything they needed.

- There's so much to catch you up on.

- Dig, babies, dig.

- I wanna find some lost quarters and other good stuff.

- [gasps] - You call that a hole?

It's barely a dent. Dig faster.

- We're digging as fast as we can.

- Yeah.

You're not being very nice, Angelica.

- Who cares about being nice? Keep digging!

- I don't think I wanna dig anymore.

- If we work together, we can do anything.

- She's right. Let's dig. - Yeah. Good idea, Angie.

- Let's dig for Angie. - Yeah, Angie!

[solemn music]

- It's not fair.

I've been the boss of those babies for years,

but now, it's all Angie, Angie, Angie.

Ugh. Just because she's nice?

Wait.

I think I'm realizing something.

For the first time in my life,

I can pretend to be nice,

and then they'll listen to me again.

How hard can it be?

[sighs] It feels good to grow, Cynthia.

[jaunty music]

Hi, friends. Wanna play?

- Are you talking to us?

- Of course, Phil.

Like Angie says, I like you.

- Why does it sound different when you say it?

- Can't a kid be nice for a minute

without a bunch of babies asking ridiculous questions?

I mean, my friend Angie here's got the right idea.

I'm gonna be like her, only even nicer.

- Table for one.

- Cute place you got here, Chef Phil, Chef Lil.

Give me a green nacho tea latte, two toasts, no butter,

and five donuts--

I--I mean please? And thank you.

- Here's your green nacho tea latte.

- Ahh! What are you--

- Oh, here. Use my shirt to--whoa!

Whoa! - Ah!

- [grunts]

- Quit bumbling all over me!

- Hey there. Let's play.

- You can do this.

Get it together.

Let me help you, Chuckie.

* *

- We're out of donuts, but Chef Phil made pa-sketti.

- Hey, no fair.

Um, can I have some more, please?

- There's lots more where those came from.

- You're feeding me diaper food?

- Do you like it, Angie?

- You're amazing.

- What's wrong, Angelica?

Angie likes the food, don't you?

- [groaning]

That's it!

I tried my best,

but I've had all the nice I can take.

You wanna play with that dumb doll?

Go right ahead. I'm outta here.

- Did you want that pa-sketti to go?

* *

- Uh-oh, here comes bossy Josh.

Those babies better watch out,

or I'll have to--

you're right, Cynthia.

It's not my problem anymore.

- Hey, you babies,

what makes you think you can climb on that thing?

- Um, 'cause we like it up here?

- Too bad.

That's private property, and I'm the private,

so get down from there right now.

- Hold on, Chuckie. The playground is for everyone.

- Tell that to a big kid.

- Wait. Angie's big.

Maybe she can talk to him.

- Hi. I'm Angie. Wanna play?

- I don't play with babies or dolls.

Now get down before I come up and make ya!

[tense music]

- Ooh, ooh. Listen to this, Pop.

It's from one of the top five parenting blogs.

It's important to allow children

to play and explore on their own.

- Huh. You don't say? [chuckles]

- I'm almost there.

Get that dolly out of my face.

- You're amazing.

- Okay, the dolly can stay,

but the rest of you better get off my jungle gym now.

- Oh, I'm starting to wish nice Angie wasn't so nice.

- Hey! Back away from those babies!

- Says who?

- Says me, Angelica.

- And what if I don't?

- I'm counting.

One. Two.

Three!

- Ahh!

[sobbing] Mommy! That girl is mean!

- And don't you forget it!

- Thank you, Angelica. You saved us.

[sentimental music]

* *

- Well, you tried, Angie,

but as anyone with a brain can see,

you're no substitute for the real thing.

Everyone, say your last goodbyes.

- Oh, Angie.

I'm really gonna miss your smile

and your sweet voice and your--

- All right. Enough.

- [voice distorting] I like you.

- Aw, we'll never hear those words from someone

who looks like Angelica again.

* *

[lively music]

* *

- Klasky Csupo.