Original subtitles

>> LaFonda: COMING UP, WHO'S

AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?

WE'LL MEET A DENVER ENGLISH

TEACHER WITH A MOST PECULIAR

PHOBIA.

AND BLACK-AND-WHITE

PHOTOGRAPHY -- HOW DO THEY DO

IT?

PART ONE OF OUR INVESTIGATION.

ALSO, IN THE UPCOMING AND MUCH

ANTICIPATED SERIES FINALE OF

"BREAKING BAD," JESSE GETS OUT

OF THE DRUG GAME TO OPEN UP A

BED-AND-BREAKFAST.

ACTOR AARON PAUL WILL BE HERE TO

DISCUSS THE EMOTIONAL END OF THE

SERIES.

ALL THAT AND MORE TONIGHT ON

"NEWSREADERS."

[ NEWS THEME PLAYS ]

IT'S 11:00.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR TEENAGERS

ARE?

MOST LIKELY TAKING PART IN A

PRO-LIFE RALLY BECAUSE SAVING

THE UNBORN IS HOT AGAIN.

OUR OWN LOUIS LaFONDA IS ME, AND

ME BRINGS US THIS STORY.

HIS NAME IS ANDREW CLATTER --

YOUNG, HIP, CHARISMATIC.

HE'S BEING CALLED THE OTHER

TIM TEBOW OF THE PRO-LIFE

MOVEMENT.

FROM HIS DEEJAYING AND POETRY TO

HIS WILDLY POPULAR "LIFEWEAR"

CLOTHING LINE, ANDREW CLATTER

HAS REBOOTED THE ABORTION

PROTEST.

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> OUR FIRST SHOW, I DIDN'T EVEN

KNOW IT WAS AN ABORTION THING.

I WAS LIKE, "I JUST WANT TO HEAR

HIM DEEJAY."

[ CHUCKLES ]

BUT IF YOU COME ENOUGH...

>> LaFonda: MM-HMM.

>> ...YOU START TO BE LIKE,

"WAIT A MINUTE.

ROE v. WADE?

REALLY?"

>> LaFonda: AND HOW ABOUT YOU?

YOU WERE ALSO, "REALLY?"

>> YEAH.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I WAS LIKE,

"OH, MY GOD.

I GUESS ABORTION'S NOT ANOTHER

FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL."

>> YEAH.

>> LaFonda: HMM.

>> PLUS, I WAS ALL LIKE, "HIS

DEEJAYING'S, LIKE, POETRY."

>> YEAH!

AND I'M LIKE, "SO IS HIS

POETRY."

>> LaFonda: SO HIS POETRY IS

LIKE POETRY?

>> NO.

>> LaFonda: BUT ISN'T THAT WHAT

YOU WERE ALL, LIKE?

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> SHE WAS LIKE, "I'M ALL, HIS

DEEJAYING'S LIKE POETRY."

>> LaFonda: OKAY.

AND YOU WERE ALL --

>> I WAS LIKE, "SO IS HIS

POETRY."

>> LaFonda: OKAY, SO, I GOT IT.

SO, HIS POETRY IS ALL DEEJAYING.

IS THIS A MATTER OF CHRISTIAN

FAITH FOR YOU?

>> MY ONLY FAITH IS SAVING THE

UNBORN.

>> LaFonda: SO, YOU'RE NOT A

CHRISTIAN?

>> NO.

I'M GAY.

>> LaFonda: AND YET, YOUR CAUSE

IS ABORTION AND NOT GAY RIGHTS?

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> LaFonda: YEAH, WELL, THAT

KIND OF SEEMS LIKE A WASTE OF

YOUR ROCK-HARD ABS.

>> THERE'S ONLY TWO THINGS I'M

COMMITTED TO -- SAVING UNBORN

CHILDREN AND BEATS AND BREAKS

THAT PHRASE LIKE THEY WERE MEANT

TO BE STAGE-MATCHED.

>> LaFonda: IS THAT DEEJAY

LINGO?

[ CROWD CHANTING ]

>> HUH?

NO, THAT'S DEEJAY JARGON.

LINGO'S SPINNING OUT ON

THE HAMPTONS THIS WEEKEND.

>> LaFonda: FOR ANDREW CLATTER,

HIS DEVOTION TO THE CAUSE COMES

FROM SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED

VERY EARLY IN HIS LIFE.

>> I WAS 19, BUT I WASN'T READY

FOR A KID.

HIS FATHER WASN'T READY FOR A

KID.

I MEAN, WE WERE -- WE WERE FAR

TOO BUSY TRYING TO SAVE THE

WORLD.

>> LaFonda: WAS HIS FATHER

BRUCE WILLIS IN "ARMAGEDDON"?

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

I THOUGHT SO AT THE TIME.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS -- HE WAS A

HERO TO THE HIPPIES.

>> LaFonda: BRUCE WILLIS?

>> NO, NO.

ANDREW'S FATHER.

>> LaFonda: RIGHT.

>> THE TIMING WAS BAD.

THE ABORTION JUST SEEMED TO MAKE

SENSE.

>> LaFonda: YOU ALMOST WENT

THROUGH WITH IT.

>> I-I WAS LYING ON THE -- ON

THE ABORTION TABLE.

THE DENTIST LOOKED DOWN AT ME --

>> LaFonda: DENTIST?

>> DENTISTS PERFORMED ABORTIONS

IN THOSE DAYS.

>> LaFonda: OF COURSE.

>> AND AT THE LAST MINUTE, I

JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

I GOT OFF THAT TABLE.

I PUT MY KAFTAN BACK ON, AND I

JUST NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN.

>> LaFonda: THE ABORTION

DENTIST.

>> NO, ANDREW'S COWARD OF A

FATHER.

I MARRIED THE ABORTION DENTIST.

>> LaFonda: ANDREW'S FATHER IS

THIS MAN, PHILLIP BRECK, A '60s

ACTIVIST FAMOUS FOR COINING SOME

OF THAT ERA'S MOST FAMOUS

PROTEST SLOGANS --

"IT'S NIXON WHO NEEDS FIXIN'",

"LOVE A GAL, NOT LOVE CANAL,"

"BJs NOT LBJs," AND "IF YOU

DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING, CALL

1-800-EAT-[BLEEP]"

PHILLIP BRECK HAS TRIED, BUT HE

SIMPLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HIS

SON HAS BECOME.

>> AT FIRST, I WAS SYMPATHETIC.

YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT TO BE HARD

FOR A KID TO HEAR THAT YOUR OLD

MAN DIDN'T WANT YOU TO EXIST...

>> LaFonda: SURE.

>> ...THAT BRINGING DOWN THE

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

AND GOING ON TOUR WITH

JETHRO TULL WAS MORE IMPORTANT

THAN YOUR LIFE.

BUT ANDREW HAS DEDICATED HIS

WHOLE LIFE TO HATING ME, SO,

YEAH, I'VE GROWN TO HATE HIM,

TOO.

PLUS, HIS MOVEMENT IS SO

CORPORATE.

>> LaFonda: DO YOU IN ANY WAY

ADMIRE YOUR SON'S COMMITMENT?

>> THE ONLY THING I ADMIRE IS

THAT HE HAD THE COURAGE TO ADMIT

THAT HE'S GAY.

PLUS, I LIKE TELLING PEOPLE I

HAVE A GAY SON.

>> NO, HE'S NOT GAY.

>> LaFonda: REALLY?

>> THIS GAY THING, YOU KNOW, I

DON'T REALLY GET IT BECAUSE WHEN

HE WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE HAD A

LOT OF GIRLFRIENDS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I OFTEN USED TO WALK IN ON HIM

HAVING SEX.

AND THERE WERE EVEN THREE-WAYS.

>> LaFonda: THREE-WAYS LIKE HIM

WITH, LIKE, WITH TWO CHICKS OR

HIM WITH, LIKE, A CHICK AND

ANOTHER DUDE?

>> ALWAYS TWO CHICKS.

>> LaFonda: BECAUSE IF IT WAS

TWO DUDES, THAT MIGHT BE A CLUE

THAT HE WAS GAY.

>> NO, HE'S NOT GAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> LaFonda: IT SOUNDS LIKE

YOU'RE CALLING HIM A LIAR.

>> LISTEN.

YOU KNOW, I'M ABOUT AS LIBERAL

AS IT GETS.

>> LaFonda: MM-HMM.

>> I HAD AN MMFF WITH

ALLEN GINSBERG, TIMOTHY LEARY,

JOAN BAEZ...NO, WAIT.

IT WAS JANIS JOPLIN.

WELL, ACTUALLY, MAYBE BOTH OF

THEM WERE THERE AT THE TIME.

AND IF YOU ASK ME, ALL MEN ARE

LIARS.

ESPECIALLY ALLEN GINSBERG.

>> LaFonda: COULD IT BE THAT

ANDREW'S PASSION IS FUELED NOT

BY IDEALS BUT BY SOMETHING ELSE?

ANGER IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO GET

AT HERE.

>> AM I PROTESTING THE KILLING

OF THE UNBORN TO PISS MY FATHER

OFF?

IS THAT REALLY YOUR QUESTION?

>> LaFonda: YES.

[ CROWD CHANTING "PRO-LIFE" ]

>> YES, I'M DOING IT TO PISS MY

FATHER OFF.

>> LaFonda: REALLY?

>> FIRST I THOUGHT BY BEING GAY,

THAT WOULD MAKE HIM REALLY

ANGRY.

THOUGHT ALL DADS WOULD HATE

THAT.

>> LaFonda: RIGHT, BUT YOUR

DAD'S A BIG LIBERAL.

>> I WASN'T THINKING.

NOW I'M STUCK WITH BEING GAY.

BUT IT DOES MAKE ME ANGRIER AT

HIM.

>> LaFonda: ANDREW TOLD US THAT

HE CHOSE TO BE GAY TO MAKE YOU

ANGRY.

>> HE SAID THAT?

>> LaFonda: YES, HE DID.

>> THAT HE CHOSE TO BE GAY?

>> LaFonda: YES.

>> YOU CAN'T CHOOSE TO BE GAY.

>> LaFonda: I KNOW.

>> NOW, THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS SO

CORPORATE.

>> LaFonda: I'M SORRY.

THESE ARE YOURS.

HIS FATHER'S DISAPPROVAL ONLY

SEEMS TO ADD FUEL TO

ANDREW CLATTER'S FIRE.

>> THIS IS CALLED

"FREE FORM, PRE-FORM HUMAN FORM:

I HATE MY FATHER."

"YOU SAY, 'YOUR BODY, YOUR

CHOICE.'

BUT WHO WILL GIVE ME A VOICE?

UNBORN CHILD, YEARNING TO BE.

I HATE YOUR FACIAL HAIR,

PHILLIP BRECK, YOU DIRTY

HIPPIE."

>> LaFonda: BLESSED WITH A GIFT

FOR WORDS, IT'S EASY TO SEE HOW

ANDREW CLATTER HAS GALVANIZED

THOUSANDS OF YOUNG PEOPLE.

>> STOP THE MURDER!

STOP THE SLAUGHTER!

STOP THE...

WHAT'S ANOTHER WORD FOR MURDER?

>> LaFonda: UH...GET GOT!

>> YEAH, STOP THE UNBORN FROM

GETTING GOT!

THAT'S GOOD.

THANK YOU.

>> LaFonda: YEAH, SURE.

>> APPRECIATE IT.

STOP THE UNBORN FROM GETTING

GOT!

>> LaFonda: ON THE DAY WE WERE

THERE, THIS PROTEST ABOUT WHAT

WOMEN COULD DO WITH THEIR

VAGINAS SUDDENLY GOT PERSONAL.

>> HOLD ON.

WHAT THE HELL'S HE DOING HERE?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

>> [ Chanting ] PRO-CHOICE!

PRO-CHOICE!

PRO-CHOICE!

PRO-CHOICE!

PRO-CHOICE!

PRO-CHOICE!

>> YOUR EX-WIFE WAS PRO-LIFE!

>> YOUR MOTHER AND I WERE NEVER

MARRIED!

[ Chanting ] YOUR MOTHER AND I

WERE NEVER MARRIED!

YOUR MOTHER AND I WERE NEVER

MARRIED!

>> LaFonda: WITH TENSIONS HIGH,

"NEWSREADERS" STEPPED IN TO

BROKER AN ACCORD THE LIKES OF

WHICH THE AMERICAN TV AUDIENCE

HADN'T SEEN SINCE HO CHI MINH

SAT DOWN WITH LYNDON JOHNSON ON

"THE DICK CAVETT SHOW."

SO, THANK YOU BOTH FOR AGREEING

TO SIT DOWN.

>> ANYTHING TO STOP THE MURDER.

>> [ SCOFFS ] OH, GEEZ.

>> LaFonda: PHILLIP, YOU WANT TO

SAY MORE ABOUT THAT?

>> WHAT MURDER?

>> ABORTION IS MURDER.

>> REALLY?

YOU KNOW WHAT'S MURDER?

>> HAVING TO HAVE YOUR MOM TEACH

YOU HOW TO SHAVE?

>> NO.

>> LaFonda: RUSH-HOUR TRAFFIC ON

THE BELT PARKWAY?

>> NO, LISTENING TO THIS

CORPORATE [BLEEP]

>> THIS CORPORATE [BLEEP]

MY CORPORATE [BLEEP] SELLS OUT

PLANNED PARENTHOOD PARKING LOTS?

>> I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN AN

ABORTION DENTIST WHO COULD CLOSE

THE DEAL, OKAY?

>> YOU WIN. YOU WIN.

GREAT WORK, DAD.

I'LL SEE YOU.

>> LaFonda: ANDREW, PLEASE.

>> NO, THERE'S TWO SUPER HOT

CHICKS WAITING FOR ME OUTSIDE,

AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WE REALLY

WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU."

BUT I'M GONNA SKIP THAT AND JUST

GO PROBABLY DO A BUNCH OF GAY

STUFF.

>> YOU CAN'T CHOOSE TO BE GAY.

>> IT'S NOT A CHOICE?

>> NO, IT'S BIOLOGICAL.

>> OH, OKAY.

SO, THEN YOU'RE NOT PRO-CHOICE.

[ CHEERING ]

>> LaFonda: IN THE DAYS

FOLLOWING THE UNSUCCESSFUL

BRECK/CLATTER SUMMIT, ANDREW

CLATTER HAS DEVOTED HIMSELF TO A

NEW CAUSE -- ENCOURAGING PEOPLE

TO CHOOSE TO BE GAY.

>> WE'RE QUEER!

WE CHOOSED IT!

GET USED TO IT!

>> LaFonda: AND PHILLIP BRECK IS

BACK PROTESTING, THIS TIME

AGAINST CHOOSING TO BE GAY.

>> All: [ Chanting ] ...WHICH

HOLES TO USE!

YOU CANNOT CHOOSE WHICH HOLES TO

USE!

YOU CANNOT CHOOSE WHICH HOLES TO

USE!

>> BUT I STILL SUPPORT GAY

RIGHTS!

I'M NOT WITH THEM.

IT'S VERY HATEFUL.

>> LaFonda: ANDREW CLATTER AND

PHILLIP BRECK, A STORY THAT WILL

MAKE YOU WANT TO WAKE UP YOUR

SLEEPING SON AND HUG HIM TIGHT

OR FINALLY GET THAT ABORTION

YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF.

AND NOW SKIP REMING IS HERE, SO

I HOPE YOU'RE PAYING

ATTENTION.

>> A LOT HAS CHANGED SINCE I WAS

A YOUNG MAN.

ALASKA AND HAWAII ARE STATES,

WE'RE NO LONGER AT WAR WITH

NEW ZEALAND, WOMEN NOW WRITE

FICTION AND CAN DRIVE AT NIGHT.

TIME MARCHES ON.

BUT THESE DAYS, TIME SEEMS TO BE

MARCHING TO THE BEAT OF A

DRUMMER MAKING AWFUL MUSIC.

IN MY DAY, LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY

WAS A GLORIOUS RITE OF PASSAGE.

BUT THAT FIRST PIECE OF TRIM

DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO KIDS

THESE DAYS.

NONE OF IT MEANS ANYTHING

ANYMORE.

TO GET AN IDEA OF HOW BAD IT'S

GOTTEN, SPEND AN AFTERNOON

TROLLING FOR PORN WITH MY

GRANDSONS.

WE'RE IN THE WILD WEST OF MOSSY

SIN CANOES, AND YOU'RE GONNA

HAVE A PADDLE WHETHER YOU LIKE

IT OR NOT, MISTER.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I WROTE THAT.

YOU NAME IT, YOU CAN WATCH IT.

BLONDES, BRUNETTES, HUNGARIANS,

REAL G.F., FEMALE-FRIENDLY --

ALL IN ALL, MORE KINKS THAN A

MOROCCAN SEX BAZAAR.

IT'S LIKE RECREATIONAL SEX IS

PART OF THIS GENERATION'S G.I.

BILL, BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO GO

TO WAR TO GET IT.

NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, WITH

ALL THE GOOD STUFF ON THE

INTERNET, I DON'T KNOW HOW KIDS

TODAY EVEN FIND TIME TO LOSE

THEIR VIRGINITY.

I JUST REMEMBERED A FEW

OTHERS -- HENTAI, MATURE, DORM

ROOM, ASIAN -- FANTASTIC STUFF,

COMPLETELY LOST ON THIS

GENERATION -- COMPLETELY.

>> LaFonda: AND FINALLY TONIGHT,

A QUICK CORRECTION.

IT TURNS OUT THAT OUR EXCLUSIVE

REPORT LAST WEEK ON A NEW HOTEL

FOR DOGS WAS ACTUALLY JUST THE

FIRST 10 MINUTES OF THE FAMILY

FILM "HOTEL FOR DOGS."

WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY CONFUSION.

I'M LOUIS LaFONDA.

GOOD NIGHT.

[ NEWS THEME PLAYS ]

YOU ARE GORGEOUS.

DO YOU KNOW THAT?

VERY BEAUTIFUL.

I WOULD SLIT MY WIFE'S THROAT TO

BE WITH YOU.

>> UM...