Original subtitles

>> LaFonda: TONIGHT ON

"NEWSREADERS"...

A CURE FOR CANCER?

AND OTHER QUESTIONS WITH THE

ANSWER "NO."

PLUS, I INTERVIEW A CAT...

SITTER.

ALSO, FROM "PRIVATE PRACTICE" TO

SOME OF HER MORE PRIVATE

PRACTICES, MORE OF MY INTERVIEW

WITH KATE WALSH.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

ALL THAT AND MORE, TONIGHT ON

"NEWSREADERS."

OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT -- HOT,

YOUNG HEDGE-FUND MANAGER

MILES VAN CLEEF.

HIS MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR FUND,

CLEEFSIDE TRUST, AND HIS

ROCK-STAR LIFESTYLE MADE

INVESTING COOL AGAIN FOR THE

FIRST TIME.

BUT THEN, AMIDST ALLEGATIONS OF

FRAUD, CLEEFSIDE TRUST WENT

FROM BOOM...TO NO MONEY.

NARGE HEMINGWAY REPORTS...

>> WHEN I SAY "MILES VAN CLEEF,"

YOU THINK "SCANDAL".

MILES VAN CLEEF.

BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS THIS WAY.

HIS NAME TOPPED EVERY "TOP 100

ELIGIBLE BACHELORS" LIST.

HIS FACE GRACED THE COVERS OF

MAGAZINES FROM TOP 100 TO

ELIGIBLE BACHELOR.

HIS WAS A WORLD OF HELICOPTER

BOATS, DOUBLE-CAGE FOIE GRAS,

AND ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SUPERMODELS.

>> * SHAWTIES BE STUNTIN' *

>> IN RAP SONGS, HIS NAME BECAME

SHORTHAND FOR "MONEY."

>> [ Rapping ] * YEAH *

* POCKET FULLA VAN CLEEF *

* YEAH *

* POCKET FULLA VAN CLEEF *

* YEAH *

* POCKET FULLA VAN CLEEF *

>> MILES VAN CLEEF SEEMED POISED

TO BECOME THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST,

AND OLDEST, AND ONLY

TRILLIONAIRE...

UNTIL MAY, WHEN ALLEGATIONS OF

FALSIFIED STATEMENTS AND

BANKRUPTED INVESTORS FORCED

VAN CLEEF INTO A NEW

RELATIONSHIP...

WITH MEDIA SCRUTINY.

INNOCENT? GUILTY? HANDSOME?

OR A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH?

SO FAR, THE JURY IS WELL-HUNG.

BUT JUST WHO IS MILES VAN CLEEF?

>> IF I HAD TO DESCRIBE MYSELF

IN THREE WORDS, THOSE THREE

WORDS WOULD BE...

"NOT A LIAR."

>> WHAT DO YOU WANT THE PUBLIC

TO KNOW ABOUT YOU?

>> THAT I'M A NORMAL GUY.

YOU READ WORDS LIKE

"CORRUPTION," "DEFRAUDING THE

ELDERLY"...

YOU GET IDEAS.

>> YOU HAVE THE PRETTIEST EYES

[Chuckling] I'VE EVER SEEN.

LET'S GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY.

THE S.E.C. CLAIMS YOU SIPHONED

MILLIONS OF DOLLARS INTO A

FICTITIOUS COMPANY, "CARPOOL,"

WHICH YOU THEN USED TO BUY CARS

AND POOLS.

>> UNTRUE.

>> MM-HMM.

THEY ALSO CLAIM YOU FALSIFIED

LEGAL DOCUMENTS NAMING YOUR DOG

C.E.O. OF CARPOOL.

>> I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DOG.

[ DOG PANTING ]

I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS.

>> SO HOW DID MILES VAN CLEEF'S

WORLD COME CRASHING DOWN?

WHERE DID HE GO WRONG?

I SPOKE TO FINANCIAL EXPERT

ANYA TURPO TO FIND OUT.

>> IT'S A PONZI SCHEME.

CLEEFSIDE PROMISES 15, POCKETS

THE MONEY, FINDS NEW INVESTORS,

USES THEIR MONEY TO PAY OFF THE

ORIGINAL 15, POCKETS THE MONEY

ONCE AGAIN.

>> I LIKE YOUR NAILS.

>> OH.

>> I'M NOT A WAITRESS?

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> THE COLOR -- IS IT "I'M NOT A

WAITRESS"?

>> NO, IT'S RED.

>> Ah.

>> I'VE LOOKED INTO THIS MAN'S

BUSINESS DEALINGS, AND LET ME

TELL YOU, THIS MAN IS GOING TO

JAIL.

>> WHAT'S YOUR OBSESSION WITH

MILES VAN CLEEF?

>> NO OBSESSION.

HE'S A VERY CHARMING MAN.

HE USED THAT CHARM TO DECEIVE

THOUSANDS OF AMERICANS WHO

WANTED TO BELIEVE HIM, MAYBE, SO

I CAN UNDERSTAND GETTING SWEPT

UP --

>> "AWAY".

"SWEPT" -- "SWEPT UP" IS RIGHT.

WHAT YOU SAID IS RIGHT -- NOT

"AWAY".

>> RIGHT. YEAH.

IT'S ALL THERE IN THE S.E.C.

INVESTIGATION.

>> RED LIP -- BOLD.

>> IT IS.

IS IT TOO ORANGEY?

>> NO. NO, IT'S PERFECT.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

>> THANKS, I KNOW.

>> [ SCOFFS ]

>> [ SCOFFS ]

>> DESPITE HAVING CLEARLY DONE

NOTHING WRONG, THE SECURITIES

AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION CAN'T

TAKE ITS EYES OFF OF

MILES VAN CLEEF.

>> CLEEFSIDE TRUST IS A MASSIVE

FRAUD THAT FAR EXCEEDS ANYTHING

WE EVER SAW WITH MADOFF.

>> SO COULDN'T YOU SAY,

ARGUABLY, THAT THAT MAKES

VAN CLEEF VERY SMART?

>> UH, NO.

>> OR VERY SUCCESSFUL?

AT PONZI SCHEMES?

>> VAN CLEEF IS UNDER CRIMINAL

INVESTIGATION -- FALSE YIELD

CLAIMS, DUMMY CORPORATIONS,

DIVERTED FUNDS, OFFSHORE BANK

ACCOUNTS, DOG C.E.O.

>> NOT HIS DOG.

>> HE MISLED CHARITABLE

FOUNDATIONS INTO BANKRUPTCY.

HE'S GOING TO JAIL.

>> THE DOG?

FACING AN INCREASINGLY ANGRY

PUBLIC, AND WITH SO MUCH

MISINFORMATION OUT THERE,

MILES VAN CLEEF NEEDED TO SET

THE RECORD STRAIGHT.

[ PLASTIC BAG CRINKLING ]

>> THE MARKET CAUGHT ME BY

SURPRISE, LIKE IT DID EVERYONE

ELSE.

YOU KNOW, IF THERE WERE ONLY --

>> YOUR TEETH ARE SO STRAIGHT.

LOOK, YOU'VE LOST THE TRUST OF

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

WHAT REASON DO THEY HAVE TO

BELIEVE YOU?

>> IF THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME,

THEY SHOULD TALK TO THE PEOPLE

WHO KNOW ME BEST.

YOU KNOW, THEY SHOULD TALK TO MY

PARENTS.

>> [ GASPS ]

AH, I WOULD LOVE TO...

GET THAT KIND OF PERSPECTIVE.

WITH SO MANY UNANSWERED

QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW CLEEFSIDE

TRUST WAS RUN...

[ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD!

THIS IS THE HOUSE HE WAS BORN

IN!

SO TELL ME ABOUT MILES.

>> HE DID IT.

ALL OF IT.

>> MILES EXITED THE WOMB LYING.

>> OH, LOOK AT THOSE CURLS!

AWWW!

DID IT GET STRAIGHTER, OR DOES

HE DO SOMETHING TO IT?

>> POOR, ELDERLY TEACHERS LOST

THEIR PENSIONS...

MAKES ME WANT TO DIE.

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY ALBUMS FROM

HIGH SCHOOL?

JUST WONDERING IF, YOU KNOW --

DOES HE HAVE SOME OLD

GIRLFRIENDS, OR IF HE HAD A

TYPE?

>> HE WAS A DICK.

>> SOME GIRLS LIKE THAT.

WHY WOULD ANYONE WILLFULLY BRING

VAN CLEEF AND THE LOCAL ECONOMY

DOWN?

FORMER CLEEFSIDE EXECUTIVE AND

WHISTLEBLOWER, NAME REDACTED.

>> I WENT ALONG WITH IT AT

FIRST, BUT THE NAMES ON THOSE

ACCOUNTS HAD FACES...

I MEAN HUMAN FACES.

I WISH I COULD SAY THAT ABOUT

THE C.E.O.

>> OH, 'CAUSE HE'S A DOG.

>> YEAH.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT VAN CLEEF DID

WITH THOSE OLD TEACHERS'

PENSIONS?

>> INVEST FOR THEIR FUTURES?

>> HE BUILT A SWIMMING POOL

SHAPED LIKE MICKEY MOUSE.

>> MILES DOESN'T EVEN LIKE

MICKEY MOUSE.

>> MILES WAS MY FRIEND.

[ Voice breaking ] I'LL NEVER

FORGIVE HIM.

>> WHAT'S HAP--

WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOUR FACE?

>> WHAT?

>> ARE YOU CRYING?

>> NO.

>> EW.

AT THIS POINT, VAN CLEEF HADN'T

RETURNED ANY OF OUR FOLLOW-UP

CALLS, E-MAILS, TEXTS, OR

FACEBOOK REQUESTS.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

[ SCOFFS ]

IT'S CLEARLY NOT A

MICKEY MOUSE-SHAPED POOL.

>> SORRY, MR. VAN CLEEF HAS BEEN

ADVISED NOT TO GIVE ANY MORE

INTERVIEWS.

>> WHAT? WHAT DID --

>> WE'RE NOT AT LIBERTY TO

DISCUSS THE CASE FURTHER.

>> DIDN'T HE HAVE FUN AT OUR

FIRST INTERVIEW?

I MEAN...

[ DOG SCRATCHING ]

CAN -- 'CAUSE...

[ SIGHS ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UH, UNFORTUNATELY, BUT

UNDERSTANDABLY, DUE TO THE

ONGOING NATURE OF THE CRIMINAL

INVESTIGATION, VAN CLEEF WASN'T

GRANTING ANYBODY ACCESS -- ANYA!

>> HI, UH, PRIVATE FINANCIAL

DISCUSSIONS.

>> OH.

I LIKE YOUR NECKLACE.

THAT'S --

IT'S -- IT'S, UH, IT'S NICE.

IT'S PRETTY.

IT TURNS OUT, VAN CLEEF'S

INSTINCTS REGARDING LONG-TERM

INVESTMENTS MAY HAVE BEEN A BIT

SHORT-SKIRTED...

-SIGHTED.

VAN CLEEF CLEARLY GAVE THE

PUBLIC THE SHAFT AND LEFT US

HOLDING THE BALLS -- BAG.

HOLDING THE BAG.

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

CAN YOU NOT BE IN MY WAY?

I JUST WANT A CUPCAKE!

>> * POCKET FULLA CUPCAKES *

* YEAH *

* POCKET FULLA CUPCAKES *

>> WE'RE GONNA BE UNRAVELING

THIS CASE FOR YEARS, BUT THE

PUBLIC IS PAYING FOR IT RIGHT

NOW WITH THEIR TAX DOLLARS.

>> YOU KNOW, THOSE INVESTORS GOT

THE CARPET PULLED OUT FROM UNDER

THEM, WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, I DID

TOO, IN ADVANCE OF THE SECOND

INTERVIEW.

>> I WAS FOLLOWING YOU UP UNTIL

THE CARPET.

>> I GOT WAXED.

>> OH.

>> THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE

BETTER.

>> MY HEART GOES OUT TO THOSE

WHO HAVE BEEN HURT.

>> WOW.

I DIDN'T KNOW THE S.E.C. HAD

SUCH A BIG HEART.

S.E.C. -- SECURITY EXCHANGE OF

IDEAS -- OR VOWS...

COMMITMENT.

>> I-IT'S "COMMISSION," BUT --

OKAY.

>> HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> LaFonda: MILES VAN CLEEF -- A

TRUE STORY ABOUT THE CORROSIVE

NATURE OF GREED, AND ABOUT HEDGE

FUNDS, AND OURSELVES, AND HOW

HEDGE FUNDS WORK, AND WHAT ARE

HEDGE FUNDS?

ALSO, A LOT OF STUFF ABOUT

NARGE.

NOW SOME THOUGHTS FROM

SKIP REMING.

>> OUR OFFICES HERE AT

"NEWSREADERS" ARE ON THE 16th

FLOOR, BUT I DON'T TAKE THE

ELEVATOR, BECAUSE ELEVATOR

ETIQUETTE IS A LOST ART.

PEOPLE GET IN BEFORE LETTING YOU

OUT, AND THEY FART AFTER THEY

GET IN, THEN THEY FART BEFORE

THEY GET OUT.

BETWEEN THE AIR-RASPBERRIES AND

THE CELLPHONE CHATTER, YOU CAN'T

EVEN HEAR THE MUSIC.

SO I TAKE THE STAIRS, BUB --

16 FLIGHTS UP.

GO AHEAD, FEEL MY CALVES.

YOU COULD BREAK A POOL CUE ON

'EM.

HAIRLESS TOO, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN

CRANKIN' UP MY SOCKS ALL THE WAY

TO HELL AND GONE SINCE PUBERTY

WAS A GLEAM IN MY ICY BLUES.

THE STAIRS KEEP ME YOUNG.

THANKS TO THOSE REPETITIVE,

LITTLE RIGHT ANGLES, I WILL LIVE

LONG ENOUGH TO WALK ON ANOTHER

PLANET AND TASTE

EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL FLESH.

WILL IT BE BRINY AND FULL OF

GRISTLE, LIKE A MANATEE STEAK,

OR LEAN AND GAMEY LIKE A

CHINAMAN?

YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW WEIRD

STAIRS ARE?

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE WALKING ALONG

AND THERE'S A FLOOR, THEN A

LITTLE BIT OF A WALL, THEN A

LITTLE BIT OF A FLOOR AGAIN,

LITTLE BIT OF A WALL, OVER AND

OVER AND OVER AGAIN -- IT'S

CRAZY!

ALSO, YOU EVER TRIED ECSTASY?

IT'S WONDERFUL.

>> LaFonda: NEXT WEEK ON

"NEWSREADERS," WE ASK THE

QUESTION, "QUESTIONS -- SHOULD

WE ASK THEM?"

AND DID TEXAS EXECUTE AN

INNOCENT MAN?

THE ANSWER WON'T SURPRISE YOU.

ALSO, WE'LL BRING YOU A

RICHES-TO-RAGS STORY FROM THE

WORLD OF HIP-HOP.

>> "VAN CLEEF" WAS SHORTHAND FOR

"MONEY".

HOW COULD I GO WRONG?

>> LaFonda: AND DAN RATHER WILL

BE HERE WITH SOME OF THE

SIGN-OFFS HE DID NOT USE ON

"THE CBS EVENING NEWS".

>> I'M DAN RATHER.

GOODNIGHT. AND REMEMBER...

DON'T HATE THE PLAYA', HATE THE

GAME.

THANKS FOR JOINING US.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, UNLESS

YOU DIE IN YOUR SLEEP, WHICH

HAPPENS MORE THAN YOU MIGHT

THINK.

AND THAT'S PART OF OUR WORLD

TONIGHT.

FOR "THE CBS EVENING NEWS,"

DAN RATHER REPORTING.

SOMEDAY, A REAL RAIN WILL COME

AND WASH ALL THE SCUM OFF THESE

STREETS.

GOODNIGHT, AND STAY LOOSE IN THE

CABOOSE.

>> LaFonda: I'M LOUIS LaFONDA.

GOODNIGHT.

[ RAP MUSIC PLAYING ]

>> [ Rapping ] * SHAWTIES BE

STUNTIN' *

* FRONTIN' FOR MY MAN-BEEF *

* GRILL WIT' THE GOLD TEEF *

* YEAH *

* POCKET FULLA VAN CLEEF *

* YEAH *

* POCKET FULLA VAN CLEEF *

* YEAH *

* POCKET FULLA VAN CLEEF *

* YEAH, THIS IS O.G. HEMINGWAY

PUTTING IT DOWN FOR THE 20-12 *

* AND YOU DO KNOW THAT *

* THAT'S HOW IT'S GOIN' DOWN,

Y'ALL *

* YEAH *

HA HA!