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00:00:03,529 --> 00:00:05,529
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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00:00:18,462 --> 00:00:20,963
Ah, a weekend free
of the challenges of marriage,
3
00:00:20,964 --> 00:00:22,799
fatherhood,
and the running of AIM!
4
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,677
Sixty-three hours
of unfettered recreation!
5
00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:29,639
I'm not wearin' a wire.
6
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,099
You're wearin' a wire!
7
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,684
Sixty-two hours,
fifty-four minutes left.
8
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:36,354
- Now what to do?
- Why don't you hang out with me?
9
00:00:36,355 --> 00:00:39,357
We can tell our future!
Find out where we're gonna live.
10
00:00:39,358 --> 00:00:40,650
Who we're gonna marry!
11
00:00:40,651 --> 00:00:42,051
A shack?
12
00:00:42,569 --> 00:00:44,821
With Mama Fratelli
from The Goonies?
13
00:00:44,822 --> 00:00:48,200
- Two-hundred kids!
- Ugh, just turn into a TV!
14
00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,120
Yes! Yes! Beer! Alcohol!
15
00:00:52,121 --> 00:00:55,873
Drink it with your friend!
Your robot best friend!
16
00:00:55,874 --> 00:00:59,460
Alcohol! I can drown
my loneliness in alcohol!
17
00:00:59,461 --> 00:01:03,673
- Yeah.
- Not with you. With people worthy of my company.
18
00:01:03,674 --> 00:01:06,926
- Then what do I do?
- I don't know, chase bubbles?
19
00:01:06,927 --> 00:01:10,054
Um, I'm a state-of-the-art
sentient robot. I'm not...
20
00:01:10,055 --> 00:01:11,931
Uh. Ho ho, bubbles!
21
00:01:11,932 --> 00:01:14,308
Bubbles! How do they float?
22
00:01:25,112 --> 00:01:27,155
Uh, is this card current?
23
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:28,531
Have you paid your dues?
24
00:01:28,532 --> 00:01:31,909
- I'm sort of a walk-right-in kind of guy.
- Yeah, no.
25
00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:35,496
Who's filling my ears with nonsense
while I drink Pinot Grigio?
26
00:01:35,497 --> 00:01:38,499
Wha... Hey, that guy knows me!
Leader, help me out.
27
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,752
Tell everyone how much better
than you I am.
28
00:01:40,753 --> 00:01:43,463
This is a sophisticated club
for elite villains.
29
00:01:43,464 --> 00:01:44,714
Not a riffrafferarium.
30
00:01:44,715 --> 00:01:46,674
You're out of
your weight class, darling.
31
00:01:46,675 --> 00:01:49,719
Joke's on you.
I've never been heavier!
32
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,638
He means you're small potatoes.
33
00:01:52,639 --> 00:01:54,766
I just came
from Ponderosa Steakhouse!
34
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,434
I'm full of huge potatoes!
35
00:01:56,435 --> 00:01:59,520
They're saying you're not
a top-tier super villain.
36
00:01:59,521 --> 00:02:02,648
Ponderosa classified me
as a supper villain!
37
00:02:02,649 --> 00:02:06,235
- Good lord, get out of here!
- I'm a big deal!
38
00:02:06,236 --> 00:02:08,821
I just fought Iron Man!
I stole his boot!
39
00:02:08,822 --> 00:02:12,408
Your ass stole his boot
when he shoved it too far inside you!
40
00:02:12,409 --> 00:02:14,869
You guys are pricks.
Let me hang out with you!
41
00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:16,537
You want to impress us, eh?
42
00:02:16,538 --> 00:02:19,290
Why don't you fetch
Captain America's shield?
43
00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:22,293
- Then we'll let you in.
- But he loves that thing!
44
00:02:22,294 --> 00:02:24,587
Plus I'd have to break
into Avengers Tower...
45
00:02:24,588 --> 00:02:28,591
Listen to him. Already making excuses
for failure yet to come.
46
00:02:29,593 --> 00:02:31,993
Come on, I want to tell you
about a house I saw in La Ca?ada.
47
00:02:32,179 --> 00:02:35,056
Sir, the low-rent villains
who are roundly mocked here
48
00:02:35,057 --> 00:02:37,850
usually slink away
to the Bar With No Name.
49
00:02:37,851 --> 00:02:41,312
That kindness
just earned you a potato.
50
00:02:41,313 --> 00:02:42,856
I got it started for you.
51
00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:45,983
MODOK?
52
00:02:46,770 --> 00:02:47,569
You here?
53
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:50,738
Why are we at Dad's office
on a Friday night?
54
00:02:50,739 --> 00:02:53,324
There's a whole chapter in my book
about recipes I serve my son
55
00:02:53,325 --> 00:02:55,702
who I claimed has
a trendy nut allergy,
56
00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,787
and there you are
on YouTube
57
00:02:57,788 --> 00:03:01,124
eating 10 Payday bars for no reason!
58
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:03,626
Oh, it was definitely for a reason.
59
00:03:03,627 --> 00:03:07,296
Can I at least hang at daycare?
I love the daycare here!
60
00:03:07,297 --> 00:03:10,342
They have those baby urinals
that make me feel like King Piss.
61
00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:11,843
You again?
62
00:03:11,844 --> 00:03:14,303
The last time you were here,
you ate all the Play-Doh!
63
00:03:14,304 --> 00:03:17,974
I was practicing
for the Ten Payday Bar Challenge!
64
00:03:17,975 --> 00:03:20,685
You're a teen, go to the Teen Zone!
65
00:03:20,686 --> 00:03:24,106
Teen Zone?
Finally, a calzone just for teens?
66
00:03:24,690 --> 00:03:26,567
Oh, Teen Zone.
67
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:29,652
Beanbag chairs. Par-a-doice!
68
00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:32,864
Do you party?
I brought hardboiled eggs.
69
00:03:32,865 --> 00:03:38,454
- Save me, Joy Division.
- Whoa! I like music too!
70
00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:50,631
Yes, I'll take
a pear brandy cordial.
71
00:03:50,632 --> 00:03:52,133
Plum brandy will do in a pinch.
72
00:03:52,134 --> 00:03:53,534
We've got whiskey.
73
00:03:57,098 --> 00:03:58,973
Look what you did
to my drink, you dirt man!
74
00:03:58,974 --> 00:04:00,641
Hey! You're Moomock!
75
00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:02,143
Hey, Ten Pin, it's Moomock!
76
00:04:02,144 --> 00:04:06,147
- MODOK. Mental Organism Designed...
- Yo, what's Moomock stand for?
77
00:04:06,148 --> 00:04:08,649
- I... I don't know.
- Hey, you wanna play darts?
78
00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,193
I mean, someone stole the darts,
79
00:04:10,194 --> 00:04:12,279
but we throw knives
and stuff at Poundcakes.
80
00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:14,989
You throw like a girl
81
00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:18,077
who hasn't fully realized
her potential yet.
82
00:04:18,535 --> 00:04:20,661
Come on.
It's so cool having you here.
83
00:04:20,662 --> 00:04:22,330
You're one
of those big brain guys.
84
00:04:22,331 --> 00:04:23,651
We're more of a bunch of fisters.
85
00:04:23,675 --> 00:04:25,958
I think I know
what you think you mean.
86
00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:27,668
Ah, leave him alone, Armadillo.
87
00:04:27,669 --> 00:04:30,338
Johnny College ain't one of us.
88
00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:32,340
The guy doesn't have
the stomach
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00:04:32,341 --> 00:04:34,342
for down-and-dirty street crime...
90
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:39,013
- Ah, my stomach!
- You dare challenge my masculinity?
91
00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:41,850
I'll have you know my last donnybrook
was a bona fide fracas!
92
00:04:42,142 --> 00:04:43,476
This guy's a tourist.
93
00:04:43,477 --> 00:04:46,687
Why are you even here, brother?
Shouldn't you be at the Soho Lair?
94
00:04:46,688 --> 00:04:49,649
Well, it turns out
that place isn't cool anymore.
95
00:04:49,650 --> 00:04:51,234
Oh my god, he couldn't get in!
96
00:04:53,612 --> 00:04:58,241
- They're just breaking balls, man.
- Ah yes. "Breaking. Balls."
97
00:04:58,242 --> 00:05:01,285
I once broke the fused-ring structure
of Buckyballs to reverse the...
98
00:05:01,286 --> 00:05:03,038
Told you he ain't one of us.
99
00:05:05,082 --> 00:05:07,625
You're asking yourself,
"Who's rocking so hard right now?"
100
00:05:07,626 --> 00:05:09,502
It's Sweetleg. My band.
101
00:05:09,503 --> 00:05:11,129
I'm kind of the lead singer.
102
00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:12,730
I'm actually definitely the lead singer,
103
00:05:12,731 --> 00:05:15,550
- I don't know why I'm being so bashful about it.
- I don't like it.
104
00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:18,219
If you're a lyrics guy,
you'll probably like our concept album
105
00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:22,890
about a car that turns into a woman
and then has sex with me.
106
00:05:23,643 --> 00:05:25,226
Hey, I put my last two dollars
in there!
107
00:05:25,227 --> 00:05:27,395
I wanna hear Carly Rae Jepsen.
108
00:05:38,032 --> 00:05:39,032
Hmmm.
109
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:52,670
I'll use these fools
to get Captain America's shield.
110
00:05:52,671 --> 00:05:55,340
Denizens of the Bar With No Name!
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00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:59,135
I'm enlisting you all
to a great purpose. A heist!
112
00:05:59,136 --> 00:06:01,804
- A heist for you?
- What's the heist?
113
00:06:01,805 --> 00:06:05,099
Uh... I can't tell them
the real reason,
114
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,900
that they're basically
sacrificing their lives
115
00:06:06,924 --> 00:06:08,561
for something
that will only benefit me...
116
00:06:08,562 --> 00:06:10,480
- We're waiting!
- I'm thinking!
117
00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:12,649
What do poor people like?
Oh, I know.
118
00:06:12,983 --> 00:06:14,859
Money! You'll get money!
119
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:18,237
- How much?
- Enough to buy whatever you desire.
120
00:06:18,238 --> 00:06:20,615
We can each get
our own pontoon boat!
121
00:06:20,616 --> 00:06:24,118
Uh... not that much.
Maybe two people per pontoon boat.
122
00:06:24,871 --> 00:06:26,454
Boats are a lot of responsibility!
123
00:06:26,455 --> 00:06:28,456
Someone to share the burden with!
124
00:06:28,457 --> 00:06:30,375
You were wrong!
He is one of us!
125
00:06:30,376 --> 00:06:33,544
Ohh! Why did I lie about
how many pontoon boats they could get?
126
00:06:33,545 --> 00:06:36,214
Why didn't I just say
they could have 10 pontoon boats?
127
00:06:36,215 --> 00:06:38,257
You can all have
10 pontoon boats!
128
00:06:38,258 --> 00:06:40,259
That's too many.
Is this a real heist?
129
00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:43,179
I knew it! Alright,
it's back to half-a-boat each!
130
00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:44,056
- Woo!
- Yeah!
131
00:06:44,057 --> 00:06:45,933
I love a pontoon boat!
132
00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:49,685
Alright. We're gonna
pull off this heist.
133
00:06:49,686 --> 00:06:51,521
It's gonna be complicated.
To start, we...
134
00:06:51,522 --> 00:06:53,022
- I have a question.
- Yes. Angar.
135
00:06:53,023 --> 00:06:55,650
Why are you calling on him?
You don't get to call on people.
136
00:06:55,651 --> 00:06:58,152
Does this seem like
a natural stopping point to go get food?
137
00:06:58,153 --> 00:07:00,321
Natural stopping...
I just started!
138
00:07:00,322 --> 00:07:03,324
But Night Loaf, the all-night
meatloaf place, is closing in an hour.
139
00:07:03,325 --> 00:07:05,993
No food.
Now the first thing to do...
140
00:07:05,994 --> 00:07:08,913
Wait, how is it an "all-night
meatloaf place" if it's closing?
141
00:07:08,914 --> 00:07:12,375
Because it gives you
that beef energy to go all night!
142
00:07:12,376 --> 00:07:13,751
Oww! Ha ha!
143
00:07:13,752 --> 00:07:15,336
Now I have a question.
144
00:07:15,337 --> 00:07:17,630
- Stop, no...
- Yes. Ten Pin.
145
00:07:17,631 --> 00:07:20,967
Is there hacking involved? Or reading?
Because none of us can read.
146
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:24,971
- What? None of you?
- Yep. Our old gang was called The Illiterates.
147
00:07:24,972 --> 00:07:26,389
We got hats made
and everything.
148
00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:29,892
Pretty cool, right? What does it say?
Are they making fun of us?
149
00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:31,978
Is who making fun of you?
150
00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:34,188
- The milliners.
- The milliners?
151
00:07:34,189 --> 00:07:38,901
Ooh, "the milliners."
Listen to Mr. Fancy Words here.
152
00:07:38,902 --> 00:07:42,363
- You said it before I did!
- Yeah, to make fun of you.
153
00:07:44,867 --> 00:07:46,492
Everyone, shut up!
154
00:07:46,493 --> 00:07:49,370
Can we please focus
on just the first phase of the plan?
155
00:07:49,371 --> 00:07:51,414
There's no "phase"
in smash and grab!
156
00:07:51,415 --> 00:07:53,291
This is not a smash and grab!
157
00:07:53,292 --> 00:07:55,544
This guy's impossible. I'm out.
158
00:07:56,128 --> 00:07:59,590
Easy, Melter. This is the cash
you need to realize your dream.
159
00:08:00,215 --> 00:08:03,176
A high-cholesterol
grilled cheese truck.
160
00:08:03,177 --> 00:08:04,969
For hungry boomers like me.
161
00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:06,370
I'm back in.
162
00:08:06,638 --> 00:08:09,057
Okay. This is
a multi-layered operation with...
163
00:08:09,058 --> 00:08:11,642
Multi-layered.
Like the meatloaf.
164
00:08:11,643 --> 00:08:13,686
It goes beef, turkey, beef.
165
00:08:13,687 --> 00:08:15,438
The turkey is always so dry.
166
00:08:15,439 --> 00:08:16,940
Oh yeah, dry turkey!
167
00:08:18,317 --> 00:08:19,609
Everyone shut up!
168
00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:22,153
Let me at least get through
the first thing.
169
00:08:22,154 --> 00:08:24,447
Ten Pin,
with his exploding pins,
170
00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:25,908
takes out the cameras...
171
00:08:29,036 --> 00:08:31,871
Armadillo, do you want
to call on Ten Pin?
172
00:08:31,872 --> 00:08:35,250
- Yes! Ten Pin.
- I don't actually have my pins.
173
00:08:36,627 --> 00:08:38,086
Ohh.
174
00:08:38,087 --> 00:08:40,838
Where... are they?
175
00:08:44,468 --> 00:08:47,303
Okay, we're getting the pins,
just the pins,
176
00:08:47,304 --> 00:08:48,346
then back to the heist.
177
00:08:48,347 --> 00:08:50,723
Guys, look at this!
This football's a phone!
178
00:08:50,724 --> 00:08:52,559
- Oh my god!
- I want it! I want it!
179
00:08:53,644 --> 00:08:55,895
I'm here for this asshole's
exploding pins.
180
00:08:55,896 --> 00:08:58,689
You want your bowling pins?
You give me 500 bucks.
181
00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:00,358
What? That's outrageous!
182
00:09:00,359 --> 00:09:02,193
You only gave me 490!
183
00:09:02,194 --> 00:09:05,822
- Just pay him.
- I can't. I donated it to PBS.
184
00:09:05,823 --> 00:09:09,284
You're an Illiterate
who loves PBS?
185
00:09:10,244 --> 00:09:12,370
- I'm Ten Pin!
- Oh, Jesus.
186
00:09:12,371 --> 00:09:15,456
- Do you do trades?
- Ooh, this is nice.
187
00:09:15,457 --> 00:09:18,042
- Yes. It's top-rate.
- I'll say.
188
00:09:19,712 --> 00:09:21,255
That feels literally perfect.
189
00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:23,881
You should be careful
of cutting your tongue.
190
00:09:24,843 --> 00:09:27,010
The metal feels
so nice and cool.
191
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,138
- Jesus!
- Wow, great blade.
192
00:09:30,139 --> 00:09:32,223
Can I just have the pins please?
193
00:09:32,224 --> 00:09:34,851
- Okay, why not.
- Great. Let's get out of here.
194
00:09:34,852 --> 00:09:37,613
But first we gotta get these jackets
so everyone knows we're a crew!
195
00:09:37,637 --> 00:09:39,188
Angar's Screamers!
196
00:09:39,189 --> 00:09:42,108
What? No! Can we just go?
This guy's freaking me out.
197
00:09:42,109 --> 00:09:43,985
No, no!
We're Poundcakes' Pummelers!
198
00:09:43,986 --> 00:09:46,696
Armadildo's Fist Force Five.
199
00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:49,407
There's six of us!
And did you say "Armadildo"?
200
00:09:49,408 --> 00:09:51,909
No... Unless you liked it?
201
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:53,661
Crew names are stupid.
202
00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:56,664
And if we had a name,
it would be MODOK's Six.
203
00:09:56,665 --> 00:09:58,065
We're getting the jackets.
204
00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:01,753
- Hm? What?
- You really need to stop playing with that blade!
205
00:10:01,754 --> 00:10:03,839
Why do you have my wife's ring?
206
00:10:04,798 --> 00:10:06,174
I thought we were working it out!
207
00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:08,719
I gotta go save my marriage!
208
00:10:09,887 --> 00:10:12,847
You gotta pay for that!
Or this is gonna be you!
209
00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:18,644
That was crazy.
210
00:10:18,645 --> 00:10:21,064
I need a little milk of magnesia
to calm my ulcer.
211
00:10:21,858 --> 00:10:24,218
Where the hell did Armadillo go?
I need him for the heist.
212
00:10:24,242 --> 00:10:26,361
I, I think he went
to his ex-wife's house again.
213
00:10:26,362 --> 00:10:28,780
- She lives in Paramus.
- Ugh. Who has a car?
214
00:10:28,781 --> 00:10:30,323
- Repossessed.
- Lost mine in a bet.
215
00:10:30,324 --> 00:10:31,657
Also repossessed.
216
00:10:31,658 --> 00:10:33,534
Living in mine but it doesn't run.
217
00:10:37,707 --> 00:10:40,458
- Hello.
- That's not how I taught you.
218
00:10:40,459 --> 00:10:43,002
Ugh! Bonjour, chateau MODOK!
219
00:10:43,003 --> 00:10:46,047
After 6:00, it's bonsoir,
you stupid robot!
220
00:10:46,048 --> 00:10:48,008
- I need you.
- Oui!
221
00:10:52,429 --> 00:10:55,474
- Who's there?
- Battle Orbs armed.
222
00:10:55,891 --> 00:10:58,602
I'm... looking for MODOK.
223
00:10:58,894 --> 00:11:00,186
Battle orbs stand down.
224
00:11:00,187 --> 00:11:00,896
Awww.
225
00:11:00,897 --> 00:11:02,480
Oh, are you his secretary?
226
00:11:02,481 --> 00:11:05,024
Secretary? Battle orbs re-arm!
227
00:11:05,025 --> 00:11:06,442
Oh yeah!
228
00:11:06,443 --> 00:11:09,529
- Who are you? How did you get in here?
- I'm MODOK's wife.
229
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:12,615
Sort of...
Ugh, it's complicated.
230
00:11:12,616 --> 00:11:15,661
Anyway, I have a bit
of a work emergency.
231
00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:19,540
You're MODOK's wife?
232
00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:25,545
I have... so many questions.
233
00:11:25,546 --> 00:11:28,131
Us too!
Are we killing or are we killing?
234
00:11:32,428 --> 00:11:34,846
Is the air okay?
Everything okay with the temperature?
235
00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:37,515
It would be
excruciatingly painful for me,
236
00:11:37,516 --> 00:11:39,142
but I could make you
a moonroof.
237
00:11:39,143 --> 00:11:41,060
MODOK, your car is really annoying.
238
00:11:41,061 --> 00:11:42,979
Think of me as less a car
239
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:45,231
and more of,
well, one, as a van.
240
00:11:45,232 --> 00:11:47,567
And, two,
a part of the team.
241
00:11:47,568 --> 00:11:48,776
Do not think of him.
242
00:11:48,777 --> 00:11:51,572
Fine, I'll just put on
a real radio station.
243
00:11:51,864 --> 00:11:54,264
You're listening
to The Real Guy and The Pooch.
244
00:11:54,288 --> 00:11:55,908
We're talkin' about
the great Adaptoid!
245
00:11:57,036 --> 00:11:58,244
Let's take a caller.
246
00:11:58,245 --> 00:12:00,663
Hi, this is Becky,
and I love the Adaptoid!
247
00:12:00,664 --> 00:12:02,749
Whoa, you sound like
an absolute smokeshow!
248
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:05,084
Guilty! I look like the Adaptoid!
249
00:12:05,085 --> 00:12:06,627
Ooh, daddy like!
250
00:12:06,628 --> 00:12:08,004
Run, Forrest, run!
251
00:12:08,005 --> 00:12:09,172
S-s-smokin'!
252
00:12:09,173 --> 00:12:10,923
My god,
what does he want from us?
253
00:12:10,924 --> 00:12:12,724
For you to call in!
254
00:12:12,748 --> 00:12:13,843
Dial 1-ADAPTOID-NOW...
255
00:12:13,844 --> 00:12:16,012
Why is the caller the one giving us
the phone number?
256
00:12:16,013 --> 00:12:17,847
Uh-oh. Uh, sorry.
257
00:12:17,848 --> 00:12:19,098
Okay, I'm just gonna turn
his volume off.
258
00:12:19,099 --> 00:12:20,558
No, MODOK, you can't!
259
00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:22,769
I love you!
I have... Crohn's Disease...
260
00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:24,937
He doesn't have Crohn's Disease.
261
00:12:24,938 --> 00:12:28,858
If anyone has undiagnosed Crohn's Disease,
it's me. And I do.
262
00:12:28,859 --> 00:12:32,028
Alright, once we get Armadillo,
the heist is back on.
263
00:12:32,029 --> 00:12:34,989
We're married! Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
264
00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:38,743
Ay, por favor. We have been
divorced for eight years!
265
00:12:38,744 --> 00:12:40,828
You don't even give me
a ring, remember?
266
00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:43,247
But that's the kind of ring
I would have gave you!
267
00:12:43,248 --> 00:12:45,500
And you broke my heart
when you pawned it!
268
00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:47,251
You're delusional!
269
00:12:47,252 --> 00:12:51,422
Buddy, if you don't leave my wife alone,
I'm gonna kick your ass!
270
00:12:51,423 --> 00:12:52,840
The Mandrill!
271
00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:56,261
Ooh, Irene certainly has a thing
for animal villains.
272
00:12:56,845 --> 00:12:59,430
Okay, tie up your robe
and let's fight!
273
00:12:59,431 --> 00:13:03,393
It's a kimono,
and this is how you wear it!
274
00:13:03,394 --> 00:13:05,395
Hey, wha... ah, okay, okay, ow!
275
00:13:05,396 --> 00:13:08,690
- Armadillo, get in the van!
- And stop comin' around here!
276
00:13:09,191 --> 00:13:12,610
I just thought maybe if you saw me
all drunk, throwin' a tantrum,
277
00:13:12,611 --> 00:13:13,695
it would win you back!
278
00:13:13,696 --> 00:13:15,321
Mandrill, get inside.
279
00:13:15,322 --> 00:13:17,408
- Okay.
- Armadillo, go away.
280
00:13:20,119 --> 00:13:23,246
He put in that kind of door
just so he could do that!
281
00:13:23,247 --> 00:13:27,251
I'm sorry that, that,
um... happened to you.
282
00:13:27,668 --> 00:13:29,043
It just hurts.
283
00:13:29,044 --> 00:13:32,840
Accepting the fact that people are capable
of falling out of love with you.
284
00:13:33,632 --> 00:13:35,467
- You know?
- Yes!
285
00:13:36,051 --> 00:13:38,428
I mean, no!
I'm happily married.
286
00:13:38,429 --> 00:13:42,140
Super happily. I back up
the orgasm truck every night.
287
00:13:42,141 --> 00:13:44,893
Wow. That's really brave of you
to share that with me.
288
00:13:45,519 --> 00:13:50,441
- I can't do this heist, guys. I'm goin' home.
- Wait! I can fix this.
289
00:13:52,109 --> 00:13:53,589
No! Who did this?
290
00:13:53,613 --> 00:13:54,527
And how?
291
00:13:57,156 --> 00:14:01,117
- Ten Payday bars?
- Some YouTube stunt, I don't know.
292
00:14:01,118 --> 00:14:03,244
And MODOK is useless, I take it?
293
00:14:03,245 --> 00:14:07,415
The only thing he's useful for
is turning on a large hadron collider.
294
00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:10,418
Which is not
what I call my vagina.
295
00:14:10,419 --> 00:14:13,380
Well, you are very cool.
296
00:14:14,339 --> 00:14:16,340
No, I'm a jerk.
297
00:14:16,341 --> 00:14:18,468
I'm bagging on MODOK,
but I came here
298
00:14:18,469 --> 00:14:20,762
to beg him to fix my stupid lie.
299
00:14:20,763 --> 00:14:23,264
I was hoping he could wipe
the video off the internet
300
00:14:23,265 --> 00:14:26,601
or release a targeted neuro-virus
that would erase everyone's mind.
301
00:14:26,602 --> 00:14:28,144
You know, somethin' simple.
302
00:14:28,145 --> 00:14:29,854
Forget MODOK.
303
00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:33,566
The best geneticist
in the world is on staff.
304
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:35,027
- Who?
- Me.
305
00:14:38,989 --> 00:14:41,949
Hey, Melter. I was thinking about
a name for your grilled cheese truck.
306
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:44,118
Manchego Winnebago!
307
00:14:45,245 --> 00:14:47,914
I have a name already.
And it's perfect.
308
00:14:47,915 --> 00:14:50,333
And I ain't sharing it
with no one!
309
00:14:51,335 --> 00:14:52,752
Fine, I'm just trying to help.
310
00:14:52,753 --> 00:14:55,463
Okay, it's time for phase one
of our plan!
311
00:14:55,464 --> 00:14:56,881
- First stop...
- Night Loaf!
312
00:14:56,882 --> 00:14:58,242
I thought Night Loaf was closed.
313
00:14:58,266 --> 00:15:01,344
No! It's a full moon,
so they reopen for werewolf hours.
314
00:15:01,345 --> 00:15:03,888
What?
Alright, first the heist
315
00:15:03,889 --> 00:15:05,932
and then we'll see
if this Night Loaf place is even real.
316
00:15:05,933 --> 00:15:06,850
Night Loaf!
317
00:15:06,851 --> 00:15:08,251
We need some tunes that jam.
318
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:09,436
Ow.
319
00:15:09,437 --> 00:15:12,021
Nothing jammed harder
in the summer of '77
320
00:15:12,022 --> 00:15:15,274
than my band Sweetleg
and our album Look the Hell Out.
321
00:15:15,275 --> 00:15:17,402
That ain't just me talking,
that's Crawdaddy magazine,
322
00:15:17,403 --> 00:15:18,861
with Henry Winkler on the cover.
323
00:15:20,364 --> 00:15:25,034
- Rock and roll, grandpa!
- Grandpa? Who's insulting me like this?
324
00:15:25,035 --> 00:15:27,316
Give me my cheaters so I can look
these punks in the face!
325
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,831
- He's so wrinkly!
- So gross!
326
00:15:29,832 --> 00:15:32,208
Oh, someone's self-conscious!
327
00:15:32,209 --> 00:15:35,249
- Yeah, looking all ashamed and shit.
- Just die already, you old bag.
328
00:15:35,273 --> 00:15:37,672
Why don't you show them how to rock?
329
00:15:37,673 --> 00:15:39,507
* Mississippi Tingle *
330
00:15:41,635 --> 00:15:43,515
- Get him! Let's go.
- Ah, what the hell?
331
00:15:43,539 --> 00:15:45,138
Oh, that's a crossbow! Go!
332
00:15:45,139 --> 00:15:46,899
Go, go, go, go, go!
333
00:15:47,766 --> 00:15:49,434
Oh my god, I've been shot!
334
00:15:49,435 --> 00:15:51,310
This is it. I'm dying.
335
00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,104
This is my death rattle.
336
00:15:53,105 --> 00:15:54,731
It hit the license plate.
337
00:15:54,732 --> 00:15:56,983
Oh good, that's not actually
a part of me.
338
00:15:56,984 --> 00:15:58,735
Oh, oh. Turn here!
Turn here!
339
00:16:01,196 --> 00:16:04,115
Angar! Your band's been
broken up for 30 years,
340
00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:05,324
you've got to let it go.
341
00:16:05,325 --> 00:16:06,576
Stop living in the past...
342
00:16:06,577 --> 00:16:08,494
Oh my god,
this is my old high school.
343
00:16:08,495 --> 00:16:11,581
- I have to go in there! Move!
- Are you serious?
344
00:16:11,582 --> 00:16:14,000
This is the longest phase one
in history!
345
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:16,335
There's no phase one
in a smash and grab...
346
00:16:16,336 --> 00:16:17,736
Shut up, Melter!
347
00:16:17,838 --> 00:16:18,756
The Muenster Truck?
348
00:16:18,757 --> 00:16:21,466
Not even...
349
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:22,867
Close.
350
00:16:24,053 --> 00:16:25,721
I need that shield.
351
00:16:28,265 --> 00:16:30,892
Back off, teens!
I'm a high-tech robot!
352
00:16:30,893 --> 00:16:32,853
I'm more than meets the...
353
00:16:32,877 --> 00:16:34,997
Oh god, I forgot to lock the doors!
354
00:16:37,357 --> 00:16:40,151
I had every state track
and field record,
355
00:16:40,152 --> 00:16:42,946
but I'll never see my name
on any of these trophies.
356
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:44,947
Oh right. You can't read.
357
00:16:44,948 --> 00:16:47,283
I know what my name looks like!
358
00:16:47,284 --> 00:16:49,452
Sideways horseshoe,
the donut,
359
00:16:49,453 --> 00:16:52,205
the ladder with a broken rung,
the twisty snake.
360
00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:55,708
The point is, they took my name
off the trophies
361
00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,001
after the drug testing.
362
00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:58,961
Oh, you were juicing.
363
00:16:58,962 --> 00:17:02,632
No. The blood tests showed
I had mutant abilities.
364
00:17:02,633 --> 00:17:05,677
Goodbye, Olympics.
Goodbye, everything.
365
00:17:06,178 --> 00:17:08,638
I still worked hard for these.
366
00:17:08,639 --> 00:17:10,682
I'm sorry.
367
00:17:11,893 --> 00:17:14,019
Does this help?
368
00:17:16,730 --> 00:17:18,690
- Whoa!
- Nice one, Poundcakes!
369
00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:21,067
No.
370
00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:23,069
Hey, maybe we should just
call it a night, huh?
371
00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:24,910
Yeah, I gotta get back
to not doing anything.
372
00:17:24,934 --> 00:17:27,657
Wait! Look, I know what it's like
to want to give up.
373
00:17:27,658 --> 00:17:29,951
You guys are afraid.
I understand that fear.
374
00:17:29,952 --> 00:17:31,577
Fear that your best days
are behind you.
375
00:17:31,578 --> 00:17:33,538
Fear of being forgotten.
376
00:17:33,539 --> 00:17:35,039
Fear of moving on.
377
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,041
Fear of dropping things.
378
00:17:37,042 --> 00:17:37,793
Ahh!
379
00:17:37,794 --> 00:17:40,545
Or the fear of being
such a born failure
380
00:17:40,546 --> 00:17:43,631
that you never even deserved the fear
of losing anything to begin with.
381
00:17:43,632 --> 00:17:45,133
Why is mine so much worse?
382
00:17:45,134 --> 00:17:48,469
You need to dig under the fear
to find anger and vengeance!
383
00:17:48,470 --> 00:17:50,304
So when you're laughed
out of the Soho Lair,
384
00:17:50,305 --> 00:17:53,099
you assemble a crew to steal
Captain America's shield
385
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,476
from Avenger's Tower,
but you don't give it to them.
386
00:17:55,477 --> 00:17:58,813
Instead, you use it to smash
their stupid faces in
387
00:17:58,814 --> 00:18:00,857
so that they'll love you
and accept you!
388
00:18:00,858 --> 00:18:04,528
And say "Oh, MODOK,
you are good and not bad!"
389
00:18:06,196 --> 00:18:08,489
Wait.
There was never any money?
390
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:10,158
This was all about a shield?
391
00:18:10,159 --> 00:18:13,578
You were just using us to get back in
with your A-list buddies!
392
00:18:13,579 --> 00:18:15,455
- Told you he wasn't one of us!
- Wait! Stop!
393
00:18:15,456 --> 00:18:17,040
Blow it out your ass!
394
00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:18,876
Ow!
395
00:18:20,919 --> 00:18:24,131
Why does this school have
so many pole vaulting champions?
396
00:18:29,636 --> 00:18:31,430
The crew!
They came back for me!
397
00:18:32,181 --> 00:18:33,057
Ahh!
398
00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:35,183
Help me!
399
00:18:37,436 --> 00:18:40,271
Perfect. The rain
will wash away my tears.
400
00:18:40,272 --> 00:18:42,523
Now my crying's a secret.
401
00:18:45,903 --> 00:18:47,488
It's real?
402
00:18:48,989 --> 00:18:52,408
Welcome to Night Loaf.
I am the Loaf Knight.
403
00:18:52,409 --> 00:18:58,956
- Choose your loaf wisely.
- Sir Loaf, as much as we'd love more loafs,
404
00:18:58,957 --> 00:19:00,875
we've spent
all of our Loaf Tokens.
405
00:19:00,876 --> 00:19:05,631
- Silence! The loaves have already been paid for.
- By who?
406
00:19:05,632 --> 00:19:09,843
The crying man on the floating toilet!
407
00:19:11,887 --> 00:19:14,389
Hey, guys.
This place is great!
408
00:19:14,390 --> 00:19:16,391
I didn't realize
it was medieval themed.
409
00:19:16,392 --> 00:19:17,475
It is not.
410
00:19:17,476 --> 00:19:18,726
Well, it's very confusing.
411
00:19:18,727 --> 00:19:20,228
Anyway, I wanted to say I'm sorry.
412
00:19:20,229 --> 00:19:23,689
Sorry for what? Lying to us
about breaking into Avengers Tower?
413
00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:25,191
Well, it's not "lying."
414
00:19:25,192 --> 00:19:28,236
It's more like deliberately
withholding information to deceive you.
415
00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:31,406
Or how you were gonna risk our lives
to get some stupid shield
416
00:19:31,407 --> 00:19:32,865
to impress your fancy friends?
417
00:19:32,866 --> 00:19:35,466
Well, it's not a stupid shield.
It's a very famous shield, guys.
418
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:38,371
And after all of that,
you wanna buy us dinner
419
00:19:38,372 --> 00:19:40,581
and we're supposed
to forgive you?
420
00:19:40,582 --> 00:19:43,209
Well, not just any dinner,
it's Night Loaf.
421
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:45,586
You were all pretty excited
about it before.
422
00:19:45,587 --> 00:19:47,589
Frankly, you wouldn't shut up
about it.
423
00:19:48,424 --> 00:19:49,841
Okay. You're right.
424
00:19:49,842 --> 00:19:51,968
I am sorry.
425
00:19:51,969 --> 00:19:53,302
I didn't give you enough credit.
426
00:19:53,303 --> 00:19:55,223
But you guys don't give yourselves
enough credit.
427
00:19:55,597 --> 00:19:56,681
Yeah, we suck.
428
00:19:56,682 --> 00:20:00,226
No! You know who sucks?
Those snobs at the Soho Lair.
429
00:20:00,227 --> 00:20:02,347
While they're kicking back
in their posh headquarters,
430
00:20:02,371 --> 00:20:03,855
you're out here
hittin' the pavement.
431
00:20:03,856 --> 00:20:05,481
You got heart, you got grit.
432
00:20:05,482 --> 00:20:07,316
You're just grittin' around in the dirt.
433
00:20:07,317 --> 00:20:10,319
Look at these dirty fingernails!
They're absolutely disgusting!
434
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,280
I was tunneling.
435
00:20:11,281 --> 00:20:13,866
- Is tunneling even an Armadillo thing?
- It is.
436
00:20:13,867 --> 00:20:16,075
The point is, Melter was right.
437
00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:18,327
I'm not one of you...
but I want to be.
438
00:20:18,328 --> 00:20:19,808
- Welcome back.
- We'll take you back.
439
00:20:19,832 --> 00:20:22,290
I promised you a score.
And I shall deliver.
440
00:20:22,291 --> 00:20:23,833
Let's rob Night Loaf!
441
00:20:23,834 --> 00:20:25,585
- What? No!
- Shh! Loaf Knight can hear you!
442
00:20:25,586 --> 00:20:29,630
- He's all the way over there.
- I hear everything!
443
00:20:29,631 --> 00:20:31,049
Oh my god, he heard.
444
00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:33,134
He's killed three people
since we got here.
445
00:20:33,135 --> 00:20:34,802
I know what we should steal.
446
00:20:34,803 --> 00:20:38,347
- Captain America's shield.
- Really?
447
00:20:38,348 --> 00:20:39,849
But we take the shield
448
00:20:39,850 --> 00:20:43,603
and hang it up
in the Bar With No Name.
449
00:20:44,605 --> 00:20:48,817
To Melter. Slightly changing my idea
just enough so I can't sue him!
450
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:51,569
Wait, MODOK is your dad?
451
00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:54,280
I have so many questions.
452
00:20:54,281 --> 00:20:56,074
Mom!
453
00:20:56,075 --> 00:21:00,078
- He's not my boyfriend!
- Relax, Carmilla,
454
00:21:00,079 --> 00:21:03,623
I just altered his DNA
to give him a peanut allergy.
455
00:21:03,624 --> 00:21:06,459
- A pea-what what-ergy now?
- Oh, you can do that?
456
00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:09,128
I can make him allergic to anything,
come to think of it.
457
00:21:09,129 --> 00:21:11,047
Cats, the color blue, oxygen...
458
00:21:11,048 --> 00:21:14,425
- Peanuts is fine.
- I'm allergic to peanuts now?
459
00:21:14,426 --> 00:21:18,763
Oh, I'm complex! And I'm finally
carrying an EpiPen for a reason!
460
00:21:18,764 --> 00:21:20,348
- Ah, sweet!
- Let's go, Lou.
461
00:21:20,349 --> 00:21:23,142
- Say hi to MODOK.
- And say goodnight to LOUIS,
462
00:21:23,143 --> 00:21:26,562
Lanky Organism
Undeniably Irresistible and Syphilitic.
463
00:21:26,563 --> 00:21:29,524
I haven't looked up that last word,
but I think it sounds beautiful.
464
00:21:29,525 --> 00:21:32,361
Shhh. Don't tell me
what it means.
465
00:21:34,863 --> 00:21:36,656
Avengers Tower, here we go!
466
00:21:36,657 --> 00:21:39,450
Ain't nothin' gonna stop us now!
467
00:21:41,995 --> 00:21:44,914
Last stop, Coney Island/Stillwell Avenue.
468
00:21:44,915 --> 00:21:46,082
Everyone must get off.
469
00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:48,960
Oh no. We missed our stop.
470
00:21:48,961 --> 00:21:50,128
- Aww.
- Oh man.
471
00:21:50,129 --> 00:21:51,755
What do we do now?
472
00:21:58,220 --> 00:22:01,097
Ooh! I can't believe
I let us fall asleep.
473
00:22:01,098 --> 00:22:02,890
I failed you all again.
474
00:22:02,891 --> 00:22:05,184
What? That was a fun night, man.
475
00:22:05,185 --> 00:22:07,145
Yeah, brother.
I mean, we did a car chase,
476
00:22:07,146 --> 00:22:08,688
a guy sawed his arm off,
477
00:22:08,689 --> 00:22:10,481
and I got to see
Mandrill's famous hog.
478
00:22:10,482 --> 00:22:12,233
And I got wasted.
479
00:22:12,234 --> 00:22:13,776
And I got to eat real food!
480
00:22:13,777 --> 00:22:15,778
Grilling Me Softly with Chevre!
481
00:22:15,779 --> 00:22:18,032
Just stop. Here, come here.
482
00:22:21,201 --> 00:22:22,828
Perfect name.
483
00:22:25,497 --> 00:22:26,539
Hey, Modie.
484
00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:29,876
How many of us were you gonna sacrifice
breaking into Avenger's Tower?
485
00:22:29,877 --> 00:22:33,463
I'd formulated a plan
with a 98.7 percent chance of success
486
00:22:33,464 --> 00:22:34,964
that would have only lost
two of you.
487
00:22:34,965 --> 00:22:37,592
Oh, that's way better odds
than we usually get!
488
00:22:37,593 --> 00:22:40,011
Let's finish the night out
with one more drink
489
00:22:40,012 --> 00:22:41,304
at The Bar With No Name.
490
00:22:41,305 --> 00:22:42,972
They put out free donuts at 7:00.
491
00:22:42,973 --> 00:22:45,693
- I want that too.
- Hell yeah, that's a good idea.
492
00:22:45,717 --> 00:22:47,143
Melter! Donuts!
493
00:22:47,144 --> 00:22:49,313
Melter, come on! Melter!
494
00:22:49,980 --> 00:22:51,380
Oh!
495
00:22:54,735 --> 00:22:56,135
Oh.
496
00:23:06,288 --> 00:23:08,289
Oh, MODOK!
497
00:23:08,290 --> 00:23:10,375
Those teens kidnapped me
and drove me,
498
00:23:10,376 --> 00:23:12,960
and then they started talking
about The Great Gatsby.
499
00:23:12,961 --> 00:23:15,630
They thought they were so smart,
but it was so trite and...
500
00:23:15,631 --> 00:23:16,756
Wow, you look weird...
501
00:23:29,311 --> 00:23:30,895
* Yeah *
502
00:23:30,896 --> 00:23:34,690
* Zoomin' on a beezer
on a flat black backway *
503
00:23:34,691 --> 00:23:38,069
* Big fat frammie
gonna overload *
504
00:23:38,070 --> 00:23:41,614
* Squeezin' on a brick top
looking for a chammy *
505
00:23:41,615 --> 00:23:44,826
* Mary's takin' pickles till
she's gonna explode *
506
00:23:44,827 --> 00:23:48,579
* We got a high glider
and it's never coming down *
507
00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:52,041
* A low rider
taking over the town *
508
00:23:52,042 --> 00:23:55,795
* We're gonna split the night
and it ain't surprising *
509
00:23:55,796 --> 00:23:58,924
* Gotta Mississippi Tingle risin' *
510
00:24:03,018 --> 00:24:06,018
sync & correction by f1nc0
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