Original subtitles

♪♪

[Thor] Verily, Guardians, victory is yours this day.

Actually, victory is yours, friend Thor.

Drax has a point. Your lightning powers

singlehandedly destroyed the Symbiotes that infested this comet.

Oh, come on, Gamora. I mean, we helped a little.

Aye, Peter Quill. 'Twas your crewmates' wisdom

in calling for the might of an Asgardian that saved the day.

Now Asgard awaits.

Open the Bifrost, Heimdall!

[squelching sounds]

[grunts]

What sorcery is this?

We are so not taking the blame on this one.

[grunts] Heimdall, stay back!

[grunts]

[Guardians grunting]

You! So-called Guardians!

What have you done to the Prince of Asgard? [grunting]

We have done nothing. It is the Symbiote that attacks.

Thor, use your hammer. The lightning can destroy it.

[roaring]

[roaring]

Thor has become corrupted. He is no longer worthy

to wield Mjolnir. [grunts]

Looks like he found a pretty good replacement.

[grunts] [grunts]

[roaring]

I am Groot?

A Symbiote as strong as Thor?

Ain't much in the galaxy more dangerous than that.

Oh, man. We are so taking the blame for this.

[Venom Thor roaring]

[grunts, groans]

[roaring]

[Heimdall] My prince, stop!

You are a danger to yourself and your people!

[roaring]

[growling]

[roaring]

[grunts] Apologies, good Heimdall.

The parasite's will is strong! [grunts]

[Rocket] But my kit-bashed cannon is stronger.

We borrowed some stuff we found lying around.

You mortals dare wield the weapons of noble Asgardian warriors?

What? It ain't like they was using 'em.

[grunts] There is only one weapon that matters this day.

Mjolnir, to me!

[roaring]

It has taken him over again!

[growling] [all grunt]

Symbiote Thor's heading for the World Tree!

If he taps into its energy, he could create thousands more Symbiotes!

[roaring]

[hissing]

That thing does not get to the tree!

That thing is the Prince of Asgard.

Or was, until you Guardians brought this plague down upon us.

We're trying to prevent a plague. [crackling]

[Quill] Huh?

[roaring] [all grunt]

[grunts]

[both grunt]

And failing miserably!

Now drop your pilfered weapons

and stand down while a true Asgardian does battle!

We will do neither. [yelling]

[blow lands] [grunts, groans]

Cease this interference! Asgard will subdue its own!

[yelling]

[grunts]

[hissing]

I am Groot!

[grunts]

I am Groot!

[grunts] [screeches]

[slicing]

I am Groot! [grunts]

[hissing]

Not so fast, slimey!

[electricity arcing]

[clanking]

Aw, krutack!

[roaring]

[Drax] You were incorrect, Quill.

That thing did get to the tree.

I am Groot!

[Rocket] Symbiote spores? What's that supposed to mean?

[spores chittering]

It means if you thought one Symbiote Asgardian was bad,

get ready for a whole realm full of them.

[roaring]

[hissing, growling]

[Heimdall] Your Symbiotes are taking over my people!

[Quill] So, where are they going?

Odin's beard! They're headed for the Bifrost!

If the Symbiotes get into the Bifrost,

they could take over the entire galaxy.

We couldn't stop one slime-powered Asgardian.

How do we stop 'em all? [Heimdall] You will not stop anyone.

Take this passage to the palace, to the Chamber of Renewal,

and awaken the All-Father from his Odinsleep.

Okay, I understood "passage to the palace," and then not so much.

Only Odin, ruler of Asgard, has the power to destroy this plague.

I will stop the parasites from reaching the Bifrost.

I am Drax the Destroyer, not Drax the Awakener.

I will fight at your side! I am Groot!

Very well.

I suppose you two show some battle prowess.

For mortals.

"Go wake up Grampa Eye Patch." Huh!

That all Heimdoofus thinks we're good for?

[chittering]

[Gamora] Looks like you may get to prove yourself sooner than you think.

Symbiote spores. I hate these guys.

[clanks] Flarg! Not again!

Cover me so's I can patch this thing up!

[grunts]

[grunts]

How come you didn't use that force shield generator before?

[grunts] Because I know how reliable your tech normally is.

I'll show ya reliable!

[clanks] Aw!

[weapon clatters]

[chittering]

Hey, no fair clumping together!

[grunts] [screeching]

[screeching]

[blows] Got one!

Just one?

[screeching]

One that didn't get back up.

[Loki] My, my, dinner and a show?

They do treat the prisoners well here.

Well, if it ain't the clown prince of Asgard.

Whatcha in for, space littering?

"Crown" prince.

And littering Asgard with Symbiote spores

would be your crime, not mine.

Loki, today's your lucky day.

We're gonna get you out of here, and all you gotta do is help us stop--

one, two three-- everyone in Asgard, including Thor.

Sound good? [chuckling]

Help you? Surely you jest.

[Gamora grunting] Do we look like we're jesting, jailbird?

"Jailbird"?

Why, I'm as innocent as a newborn babe.

"Innocent"? Who stole the Cosmic Seed from Asgard and blamed it on my dad?

Who started a war with Spartax and tried to kill your brother?

And who knows what you did to get yourself locked up this time.

Are you implying I deserve to be imprisoned?

No, we're stating it outright.

Mmm. Thanks for the rescue offer,

but I think I'll stay here, safe and sound.

Rocket, how many prisons have you broken out of?

Twenty-three. Soon to be 24.

And that ain't counting the ones I've broken into!

[hissing, growling]

We are too late.

[grunts] [grunts]

I am Groot!

[grunts]

You Guardians may prove useful after all.

Was that sarcasm? I do not easily detect sarcasm.

Fine. You win.

Um, I don't suppose you could tell us where to find Odin?

Odin's on the ceiling?

Aah! Try upstairs, genius.

[chuckles] He won't appreciate being roused.

Yeah? Well, old people get cranky when you wake them up from their naps.

Found the eye patch, but no Grandpa.

[gasps] Ha! He is on the ceiling!

[growling]

Flarg.

Now is where you say, "This is bad," right?

No. I think you covered it.

[growling intensifies]

[grunting]

[growls]

[yells] Stupid Asgardian batteries!

[growling]

Lightning. Works every time.

[growling]

Except this one. Go!

[grunts]

Ow! Dude, help us!

Please!

Why come begging to me?

Don't you have the might of the All-Father at your disposal?

[growling]

Not... exactly.

[growling]

Ow!

Stay close to me.

[pounding continues] Interesting.

So it appears you foolish mortals do need my help.

Score one for the Prince of the Obvious!

And I shall assist you.

On one condition.

When this is over, Odin will grant you a request.

You will insist he pardon me for all crimes against Asgard.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

[chuckles] So be it.

What the krutack? You could've walked out this whole time?

Just since my brother and adopted father were corrupted,

making me All-Father.

[growling]

[chuckling]

Why am I sure we just got scammed?

You wound me, furry pest.

I do keep my word, particularly when it suits my purposes.

As you will now.

Ugh. What were we talking about just then?

Quill, have you found Odin? Has he agreed to help us?

Um, not in those words.

What words did he use?

[Rocket] "Roar" and "screech," mostly.

I do not understand these words.

A Symbiote got him, Drax.

So, under the circumstances, we got the next best thing.

Well, the 34th next best thing.

Hello.

Loki! What have you done, traitor?

What have I done? Just selfishly offered

to rescue Asgard from this plague you unleashed.

[hissing, growling]

[hissing, growling continue]

Get to the Bifrost. I'll cover you.

Gamora, you won't survive.

We're the Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter.

We make sure the galaxy survives. Now go.

[grunting]

[Gamora screams] Gamora!

[roaring] [yells]

[screeching]

Get inside! [yells]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[straining] [grunts]

[hissing] Drax! Not you too!

I am Groot! [screeches]

I am Groot?

Drax and Gammy got turned saving us. I am Groot!

I know it's happened before. So now we're gonna save them.

Unless you got a problem with that?

[gasps]

Heimdall, old friend,

we shan't get far under such dire circumstances

unless we can trust each other.

[grunts]

[grunts, groans]

Uh, what are you doing?

He's double-crossin' us, ya moron!

Worry not. I shall save Asgard.

I will simply use the Bifrost

to send all the monsters to Midgard.

Phew! Okay, then. See, Rocket?

Nothing to worry about. Wait. Isn't Midgard Earth?

Correct. I get rid of them,

and they destroy your wretched world.

I kill two birds with one stone.

And you rule over Asgard.

True. Three birds.

[laughs, grunts]

[grunts]

Nobody messes with Earth!

Keep him away from the Bifrost! Aahh!

[sword clattering]

You dare? [grunts]

[grunting]

I am Groot!

I'm trying! The d'ast thing's got no juice!

And in case you forgot, there's a ton of Symbiotes trying to get in!

[clunk] Ow!

Stupid hammer!

Wait. Wait! The hammer!

Can't pick it up, but that don't mean I can't use it!

[growling, hissing]

[roars]

[thunderous thud] [grunting]

Rocket, whatever you're doing with that hammer, do it fast!

[grunting] [Rocket] Don't rush me!

Ain't like I mess with Asgardian tech every day!

Rodent, cease your desecration

of Mjolnir at once! [thunderous thudding]

Heimdall, we got bigger problems than Rocket tinkering with the hammer.

[grunts]

Heimdall, I am now ruler of Asgard.

I command you to open the Bifrost

and banish these interlopers!

[grunts]

A lightning cannon will require a conductor.

Not bad... for an Asgardian.

[electricity arcing]

Here comes the thunder! I hope. [clicks]

Yes! Finally!

[grunts]

Free at last! To me, Mjolnir!

[roaring]

Aah!

[Rocket screaming]

[screaming continues]

[grunts, coughs]

[grunting]

Whoa. [chuckles] What a ride.

[Thor] Prepare for another!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[growling]

Forgive me for underestimating you, Guardians.

Let us stand together now in glorious battle.

Uh, is this the kind of glorious battle

where we all get taken over by Symbiotes?

[growling] [thunderclap]

[Thor yells]

What vile beast is this?

Uh, that is your dad.

Odin? This will not stand!

[growling]

[groaning]

Why? Why have I been awakened?

Asgard is in dire peril from a plague of parasites.

I implore you, Father,

use your Odinforce and heal your people!

[hissing, growling]

For Asgard!

[groans]

What now... [groans] What happened?

[groans] The Symbiotes...

Are no more.

Loki, your treachery grieves me sorely.

It will be eons before you again see the sun.

Heimdall, as ever, you serve well and truly.

And, Guardians of the Galaxy, you have displayed great valor.

Mortal though you be,

you represent the finest of the Nine Realms.

I hereby declare you all friends to Asgard,

and as such, do grant you one request.

I wish for Loki to be pardoned for all his crimes against Asgard.

Wait. What?

[Guardians] What? I am Groot?

Why would you make such a request?

[chuckling]

[sighs] Loki,

I see your binding spells are as strong as ever.

[sighs] Release the varlet.

[Rocket] "A bajillion units."

All he had to say was, "A bajillion units"!

[Thor] Friend Rocket, is there nothing we can do

to ease your troubled brow?

Well, long as you're offering...

Whoo-hoo-hoo! I love this thing!

[laughing] Hey, Quill, we gotta get one of these!

Yee-haw!