Original subtitles

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

Tobie: Welcome to "Just Roll With It!"

(theme music playing)

(shouting and cheering)

♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪

All: Just roll with it!

(bell ringing) (children cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

Welcome to "Just Roll With It!"

(cheering and applauding)

When we hear this sound:

(foghorn blares, bells jingle) Santa Claus: Ho ho ho ho ho!

Our voting audience gets to decide

on what happens to us in scenes!

(cheering and applauding)

Whoo! Whoo!

And since it's our Christmas episode,

we decided to do a little cast secret Santa.

I'll go first. (laughs)

Ho ho! Sweet!

Speakers!

Suzi, this has gotta be from you. (Tobie laughs)

Ooh, I'm next!

A new laptop? Are you k

(cheering and applauding)

Ramon, you knew this is what I wanted.

Ah, use it well. You're up.

Oh, okay. (thuds)

This couldn't be.

(beeps twice) A new car?

(all cheering and applauding)

Tobie, you didn't!

I did. (all laughing)

Okay, let's see what I got. (clears throat)

Oh, wow!

A halfeaten yogurt.

And a brush that appears to have clumps of hair in it.

This definitely screams Kaylin.

Only the best for my TV dad.

And whatever happens, we'll have to...

All: Just roll with it!

Whoo! (audience cheering and applauding)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪

We are almost live, people.

I need everyone focused on making sure

"Deck the Halls with Byron and The Gator"

goes off without a hitch, okay?

So, no more bathroom breaks.

You hear me, everyone? I am locking the bathrooms.

Why do I have to be a part of the TV special?

I have so much I should be doing at home.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

She wants to set traps for Santa

and shake all the presents under the tree

to try and figure out what they are.

What? It's my tradition. I've done it since I was a kid.

(foghorn blares, bells jingle) Santa Claus: Ho ho ho ho ho!

I knew it! I knew it was gonna happen!

Host: It's time to vote!

What was Blair's favorite Christmas present?

That was unexpected.

She gets caught in one of her traps. Boom!

Host: Let's go back to the scene.

Director: Action!

What? It's my tradition. I've done it since I was a kid.

It's Christmas morning,

and I want to know what Santa brought me.

Since Mom's asleep, I'm just gonna open them all up,

see what's inside, and rewrap them.

Mom will have no idea I peeked.

(audience cheering and applauding)

(squeals): Wah! Ah!

(cheering and applauding)

Oh!

Merry Christmas, Blair! I'm Blitzen, the reindeer.

You have been such a good girl this year.

Santa asked me to hand Oop!

Or should I say hoof deliver all your presents. (chuckles)

I think we both know I'm on the naughty list.

True that, but let's just play along.

Okay, follow me. (laughs)

(audience laughing)

This one. Do it.

(bow rustling)

(squeals)

(excited squealing)

This is awesome, but I gotta warn you,

I do get sleighsick. (Blitzen laughs)

Hop on!

(audience cheering and applauding)

Blair, you ready? Ready as I'll ever be.

Go, Blair! Go, Blair! Go!

Whoo! Whoa! (festive music playing)

Where are the brakes on this thing?

(crashes) (Blair yelling)

(audience cheering and applauding)

(spits) So much of that went in my mouth.

It's a Christmas miracle!

You're making that up. I never gave you those.

Of course you didn't. Santa did. Duh!

Okay. I finished doing everything you asked.

I locked the bathroom, confiscated phones,

and sealed the exits, which feels wrong, but you're the boss.

Exactly. Owen, the performers will be here any minute now.

Are you done with the lineup?

It's in my phone, but I just wanna finish this chapter.

I'm reading this great murder mystery,

where they're trying to solve

Owen, how many times do I have to tell you

to take your nose out of that book

and focus on your phone?

Eyes on screens, people!

I gotta say, I'm surprised Byron is so cool with you

inviting your college boyfriend to perform at this thing.

Byron and I are adults.

He's not jealous of some exboyfriend from forever ago.

That's right. It's called "maturity."

Ken: Excuse me. Miss?

Uh, some of my guys really need to use the bathroom.

Oh, well, excuse me.

Ken, I really needed that candy cane archway

to be up already, but you don't see me

crying about it. Do you? Do you?

Let me know if you do, Ken. I'll be in here doing my job.

Of all the magicians in the world,

she just had to hire the one who's her exboyfriend.

There have got to be dozens of other magicians

who have never dated my wife.

Ugh. Relax, Dad.

He'll be great for the Christmas special.

He's a famous, wellrespected magician.

Honey, no matter how famous a magician is,

they'll never be respected.

Excuse me. Hello?

Yes.

Famous magician, Svan... (inhales deeply)

The Magnificent, here.

Svan the Magnificent!

It is such an honor to meet you.

I'm a huge, huge fan, man.

Uh, my, my son Owen will show you to your dressing room.

Owen: So, I hear you used to date my stepmom.

"It's an honor to meet you?

I'm a huge, huge fan"?

The man is magical.

I don't want him to unleash his dark art on me.

Leave me alone.

♪

Then, I looked at the governor, and I said,

"I think we're gonna need a bigger horse."

(sporadic laughter, applause)

(giggling) Oh, Inspector Kensington,

you are certainly a roguish literary character.

Owen, enough with the constant giggling.

Nobody believes that a book can be funny.

Well, this one is rather cheeky.

See, there's been a murder, and anyone could be a suspect.

(laughs) But Inspector Kensington

has done something very, very clever.

Who wants to see me make something disappear?

(crowd clapping) Boom!

Right here! Okay.

As everyone can see,

this is a normal paperback novel,

that a typical bookish introvert might read.

Hey! But, when I place it

into this magical gingerbread house...

Voila! It is now a Christmas ornament!

Magic!

Wow!

So all books are made of Christmas ornaments!

(laughing)

That's so fun! But let's bring the book back now.

Oh, there you all are!

We're in the middle of a show!

So, this is not a good time to be hanging out!

Excuse me, Rachel. I'm sorry, but,

as is customary, I always do a Q and A

before every performance.

Ooh! Mr. Magnificent, sir,

my dream is to be just like you when I'm older.

I wouldn't try to be just like me.

If I were you, I'd get a more realistic dream.

Like maybe one day being able to say a full sentence

without babbling like a nervous little baby!

(laughs)

(giggling nervously)

What a jerk!

I got a question.

Aren't magicians just grown men who play with expensive toys

that have trap doors in them?

Blair... It's okay. It's okay.

But tell me, little girl,

would a trap door be able to explain...

(exhales) This!

(all applauding)

Yeah. They're scrunchy flowers and the hat has a trap door in it.

No, it doesn't. Let me see the hat.

No! Make me. Give it!

(yells) Blair.

Let's not openly antagonize the celebrity guests

who are doing us a big favor by being here.

I'm glad you recognize what a sacrifice this is.

I usually play to packed stadiums, but,

when I heard Rachel had fallen on hard times

Uh, I wouldn't say I've fallen on hard times.

Rachel, my heart goes out to you.

And everyone struggling in this backwards,

hopeless, hogwaller of a town.

And that is why I am here.

To save Christmas.

(applauding)

Poppa Rosenbaum: ♪ It's gonna be a bluegrass Christmas ♪

♪ In the Buckeye state ♪

♪ 'Cause all celebs are mutants ♪

♪ That come from the Earth's core ♪

Let's hear it for Momma and Poppa Rosenbaum!

They can watch you through the cameras they put in the computers!

We gotta cut to some commercials right now.

But coming up next on "Deck the Halls with Byron and The Gator,"

our final act of the night will take the stage.

You know him. You love him. And so did my wife.

Svan the Magnificent! (Gator applauding)

More after this.

Svan (screaming): No!

My precious instruments of wonder!

Someone broke all the tiny trap doors in them.

They've all been... ruined!

(thuds)

(dramatically): My word.

I don't know quite how to put this, but he's...

(normal voice): Probably gonna be fine. He just fainted.

Someone get Svan some water.

Now what are we supposed to do about the big finale?

Who would have done this?

Anyone could have done this.

And I intend to find out who.

Inspector Owen is on the case!

(dramatic music)

See? Told ya. Trap door.

Right here. What do you know?

(audience cheering and applauding)

♪

I know what I'm getting for the holidays. It's a hug!

Oh! Ha!

Hey, Socrates!

What'd you get me for Christmas?

(highpitched voice) I didn't get ya nothing, because I'm a sock,

and I have no access to money!

This ventriloquist is bombing.

Where'd you even find her?

She was just hanging out in the parking lot and screaming stuff.

It was the best I could do on such short notice.

Gotta get s

(foghorn blares, bells jingle) Santa Claus: Ho ho ho ho ho!

Host: It's voting time again.

What act can our cast do for the fundraiser?

What if they're only making us think

the horn is on Tobie?

It was Ramon, the whole time!

♪ Dun dun dun! ♪

Host: Now, back to the scene.

Director: Action!

Blair, we gotta get up there

and do our Christmas trampoline act.

(applauding)

It was a really good thing we were wearing these elf sweatshirts

under our evening gowns.

Yeah. We are going to do the trampoline challenge,

and we're going to have to decorate this Christmas tree.

Since I have no idea what that implies,

Troy gets to go first.

Troy: All right, here we go. (lively music)

(all exclaiming)

(dinging) Rachel: Okay!

(dinging) (all applauding)

(all chattering, exclaiming)

(dinging) Byron: Aah! Come on!

Let's Oh! Oh, my goodness!

Owen: Whoa! Rachel: Yay!

(dinging) Byron: Okay.

Star!

(all exclaiming) (dinging)

Rachel: Troy! Byron: Really? (laughing)

Owen: Wow! (Byron laughing)

Just do that. Rachel: Yeah. Simple.

Come on up. Yeah!

(all cheering, applauding)

Whoa! (Byron laughing)

Oh, there's no "on" button. It just goes!

(all laughing)

Owen: Yeah! (all yelling)

(all exclaiming, laughing)

Did I get it? (laughing)

Byron: Yeah! (dinging)

(all cheering)

Rachel: Whoo!

Byron: Yes! (dinging)

(cheering)

Byron: Let's go!

(dinging) (all cheering)

Blair: Yeah! Whoo!

(audience cheering, applauding)

Oh, my goodness!

(dinging)

Rachel: Whoo! Eyes on the prize.

(dinging) (all cheering)

Whoo!

Let's, let's stop joking around. Get the star.

Blair: Okay, I'll try, Mom!

(Blair grunts) (all exclaim)

Rachel and Owen: Go for the top!

Go for the top!

Go for the top!

Go for the top!

(Blair yells) (all exclaim)

(all cheering)

(applauding)

Both: And now back to "Deck the Halls

With Byron and The Gator"!

(cheering and applause)

Well, that routine was terrible.

No one's gonna wanna watch that on TV.

We've gotta get Svan up there.

He's still out cold. Blair: It gets worse.

One of the snitch crew members called the police.

They're on their way. See, Mom?

This is what happens when you don't let people go potty.

Police.

We can't have the heat snooping around here.

These smoke alarms are all fake.

They'll shut us down for sure.

Unless we can solve this mystery

before the police get here.

But I'll need to ask everyone some questions.

(gasping) (dramatic music)

(gasps)

Ah. Fear not, family.

The only person who should be afraid of a few simple inquiries

is someone with something to hide.

To the radio station!

Oh, literally? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I guess we

♪

Ha! Here we are.

This is where I believe

the events of this evening were set in motion.

But Owen, Svan's stuff got destroyed in his dressing room.

True! But it was here

where Svan made fun of Gator!

(Rachel gasps) That's right. That means Gator did it.

Bad Gator!

Ah! But when he made fun of Gator,

that also upset Blair!

(gasps) Who then got into a heated argument with Svan.

It was Blair! I knew it!

Smashing things. The perfect crime.

Ah! Until that heated argument was interrupted by

Rachel! (gasping)

Who was then mocked, and belittled by her ex.

Rachel. Of course. It was right in front of our faces!

This is ridiculous.

Why would I want to ruin my own TV special?

She's right. She's been planning this thing for months.

Okay, you're not helping.

Rachel, can anyone vouch for your whereabouts

between the argument and the crime?

I was all over the place,

getting ready for the special. I didn't Ah, wait!

Gator! Gator saw me!

Gator stopped me in the hallway

and wanted to give me a DVD he made

of himself performing magic.

He said he'd be happy to perform on the TV special

if any of the other acts dropped out

or couldn't perform! (all gasp)

You sabotaged Svan

so you could become a famous magic man.

Okay, I know that sounds bad,

but I didn't break Svan's toys. I was with Blair!

She can vouch for me.

After I gave Rachel my DVD,

I ran into Blair and I was like,

"What are you doing, Blair?" And she was like,

"Oh, I'm just cooking up a scheme that'll make Svan

regret the day that he ever came to Akron."

Then, I was the lookout

as she tried to figure out how to pick the lock

of Svan's dressing room.

Then we crawled into the building's heating ducts,

and spied on Svan from the ceiling!

Then, I was gettin' kinda bored, so I was like,

"I'm getting kinda bored,"

and I left to go watch some internet.

You know, I didn't think anything of it at the time,

but do you think any of that could be related to this case?

Blair, how could you?

Okay, I know all of that sounds bad,

but I didn't break Svan's magic junk.

That's so basic.

My scheme was much more elaborate.

It involved drug store hair dye,

a teddy bear nannycam,

and a mixedup waitress

with a ton of student loan debt and nothing to lose.

Blair, that is completely unacceptable.

I was doing it for you, because you're jealous of Svan, but won't say anything.

(all gasp) Ahha!

It was Byron! Bad Byron!

What? You're jealous of Svan?

I don't know I mean, yeah. A little bit.

I mean, you guys used to date,

and he has "The Magnificent" in his name.

But I swear, I didn't do this.

Who else would have benefited

from Svan not being able to go on the air?

Since that magician guy ain't ready to perform,

uh, I'd like to take a moment and talk to you all

about how the elite watch your every move

from their secret base under Antarctica.

All: The bluegrass guy!

(energetic music)

Even when you're camping in the woods,

they got cameras up in the trees what look like birds!

(grunts) Oh!

We're currently experiencing some technical difficulties!

Time to talk, you banjoplaying butt nugget,

or I'm gonna make you wish you never, ever

Excuse me. Oh!

Evening, Officer McKlunkey.

Uh, to what do we owe this pleasant surprise?

We received a report of a crime happening.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to shut your TV show down.

(all gasp) (dramatic music)

(cheering and applauding)

♪

So, the trick is,

it's all in the hips.

Hula baby, hula

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Guys, guys. I, I got this. Hold on.

Just give me a second. I Shut it down, people.

This stage is now considered a crime scene.

Uh, please, ma'am. We are in the middle of a Christmas special.

(static) Hello, dispatch?

Send every available officer down here immediately.

Wait! I've solved the mystery.

(static) Cancel that, dispatch.

It appears a child detective has solved everything.

Owen, you solved the case?

I certainly have.

(dramatic music)

Host: To be continued...

Right now!

(foghorn blares, bells jingle) Santa Claus: Ho ho ho ho ho!

(laughing) What? What?

(all laughing) Well played.

Host: It's our last vote.

Which member of our cast committed the horrible crime

of destroying Svan the Magnificent's precious props?

And now, our conclusion.

Director: Action!

Owen, you solved the case?

I certainly have.

It was a dastardly crime indeed.

All of you had alibis,

so who could have possibly done this?

Perhaps it was someone with an ax to grind!

I'm talking about you, production guy whose name I don't know.

(dramatic music)

My name is, uh, Ken.

(cheering and applause) Owen: You!

When Rachel had the bathroom doors locked,

you and your fellow crew members swore revenge.

Knowing that Svan the Magnificent

was the star of the special,

you destroyed his magic stuff

to tank the special's ratings.

What do you have to say for yourself, Ken?

All right, I did it!

(gasping)

My guys really needed to use the restroom.

Ahha! He admits it!

Ken is the one who destroyed Svan's props.

Take him away, Officer McKlunkey!

Actually, what Rachel did to these poor crew members

is way worse than what Ken did to that weird magic man's toys.

Oh, my. If I were to send anyone to jail,

it would be you.

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

Oh, what's coming? (laughs) (laughs) I know.

Officer McKlunkey: But... Come on.

Since it's Christmas Eve... Oh, good.

Once again, my superiors have given me clearance

to punish criminals however I see fit.

All: Ooh!

(laughter and chatter)

I'm thinking festive face smasher.

(dramatic music)

What is that?

Rachel: Wow.

Merry Christmas. (laughs)

(Byron and Owen laugh)

Three... two... one...

(squishing) (all exclaiming)

That just collapsed. It swallowed her.

Wow. Rachel: Ugh.

Rachel: Well... (Byron laughing)

(yelps)

(all laughing)

And to all a good night!

(all cheering, clapping)

I just got a call from Sir Liam Gooch,

and he said the audience loved watching Rachel get her comeuppance!

Our ratings and donations to the food bank are through the roof!

(all cheering)

It's a Christmas miracle!

Whoo!

And that's our show!

You guys have been a great audience! Yeah!

♪ Unwrap the feeling great ♪

♪ Unwrap the "this is just what we needed" ♪

♪ So now appreciate we got so many ways ♪

♪ To put the happy in the holidays ♪

♪ It's all right, all right ♪

♪ It's all light, all light ♪

♪ All night, all night, I'm saying na na na ♪

♪ All right... ♪

Both: Happy holidays and Happy New Year

from the BennettBlatts!

(theme music playing)

♪

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