Original subtitles

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

Tobie: Welcome to "Just Roll With It"!

(theme music playing)

(kids yelling and cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

Ramon: Two, three All: "Just Roll With It"!

(bell ringing) (kids cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

Tobie: Woo!

Welcome to "Just Roll With It"!

Ramon: Yeah! (audience cheering)

When you hear this sound...

(foghorn blares)

You get to vote on what happens to us in scenes.

(audience cheering)

Wait.

Who the heck are you?

Noreen Van Broon. Kaylin's standin.

Uh, where's Kaylin?

Over here, broskis.

New contract.

My agent got me out of doing these intro thingies.

Shoutout to Lars. Love ya, baby.

Ah, it's, uh, good to see this show

isn't going to anyone's head. (chuckles)

Well, our contract still states

that no matter what happens, we'll have to...

All: "Just Roll With It"! Noreen (bored): "Just Roll With It."

(audience cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪♪

Hon, can I talk to you for a sec?

For the love of my life, I'll give ya 30.

Well, I've been thinking lately

about something that might make our family feel complete.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

A hot tub.

No. I was thinking more like... a baby.

Wow.

You think we're ready?

(phone rings)

It's Sir Gooch.

Owen, what's wrong, little buddy?

Oh, sweet!

Owen's frozen in shock again.

Quick! Let's draw on his face.

Ooh, Blair, I have news.

I was hiding under this desk, as I do every Friday,

which is how I get all of my hot goss...

And, well,

Dad and Rachel want to have a baby.

(both gasp) (dramatic musical flourish)

You mean, like, a human baby?

Yes. They specifically said

it would make our family complete.

Uh, this is bad. This is very bad.

Owen's right. With a new baby around,

Byron's not gonna have any time to hang out with me.

I'll lose my best friend. My only friend!

I'll have to start hanging out

with that mannequin in the woods again.

You guys are just jealous, 'cause being a baby rules.

People don't get mad when you barf on them.

You can run around naked without getting in trouble.

And you can number two in the tub like it ain't no thing.

Aah. I miss those days.

(foghorn blares) (audience cheering)

I knew it! I knew it! I know!

Host: All right, audience. It's time to vote. (bell dinging)

You get to decide who gets to be a baby again.

Here we go. This is when the show goes...

insane! First one! First one of the night!

Director: Either Owen and Byron

or Blair and Rachel will be picked.

The adult that is picked is gonna be on the mic off set.

Host: And let's get back to the scene.

Director: Action!

(audience cheering)

Hi, baby Blair. Look how cute you are!

I'm not gonna be so cute when you have to change my diaper.

Rachel: All right, Blair. It's time for lunch.

Here comes the airplane!

(audience exclaiming)

Oh, yummy!

I'm more of a choochoo train baby, so.

Okay, all right. Chugachugachugachuga choochoo!

There we go. Into the station.

Rachel: Mm!

Oh! (audience laughing)

Rachel: Oh! Okay.

Now, it's playtime, baby Blair,

so why don't you get out of that walker?

(audience laughing)

Rachel: Look at that!

She's such a cutie patootie!

Look at her crawlywally!

I'm not getting paid enough for this.

(audience laughs)

Rachel: Why don't you show me how high you can jump?

(wailing)

(audience laughs)

Rachel: Let's see you do a little jumpyjumpy!

Oh!

Wha Whoa!

(audience exclaiming)

Being a baby is awesome!

(audience cheering)

(giggling)

I miss those days.

Blair, use your head. We're stepkids.

If Dad and Rachel have a baby together,

that will be their kid.

You're both overreacting.

Owen, nothing you say can change her mind.

She has to see it for herself.

You don't mean... Yes.

We need to visit...

Billy Hannigan.

(dramatic musical flourish)

(doorbell rings twice)

Hey, Billy!

I haven't seen you at spin class in a while. How you been, man?

Shh! It sleeps.

(baby screaming)

It was asleep.

So, you have a new baby brother now.

How's that working out for ya?

Babies are a blessing! Says my mom.

Do you like having a little brother?

Having a brother is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Says my mom.

See? They were worried

because our parents are talking about having a baby, and

Stop them! You must stop them!

It's too late for me. But you have a chance!

Billy's mom: Billy! Billy!

Could you get your brother out of the crib, please?

(whispers): Save yourselves.

Save... your... selves.

(baby crying)

Owen, we must stop them.

I am your soldier.

♪♪

(audience cheering)

That was so much fun!

♪♪

Okay, this is it. We act like such good kids

that Dad and Rachel realize our family is already complete,

and they don't need to have a baby.

Yeah, I know.

Why are you explaining something we've been planning all day?

Ooh! They're home.

Okay, I know being good is offbrand for you, so just follow my lead.

Ah, welcome home, dear parents.

Let me take your coats.

Thanks, Owen. That's nice of you.

Please allow me to take your, um...

temperature?

Take a seat. Relax. (chuckles)

You guys must be exhausted from a long day

of creating topnotch radio content.

So, how was everyone's day?

(laughs) Marvelous.

But my day is even better

now that we're back together again.

One happy family.

Perfect just the way we are right now.

That was nice.

And a little odd.

Ah, so, how was work?

Blair and I are interested in your careers,

and invested in your happiness.

Oh. (chuckles) This one's good.

Um, at lunch, I couldn't decide

whether to have a Caesar salad or a wrap.

And I went back and forth, back and forth,

back and forth, back and forth, and finally, it hit me.

Uh, hello, you big goof, get a Caesar salad wrap.

(Blair and Owen laughing loudly)

Blair, would you like to tell Dad and Rachel

all the good things you've done today?

Yes. Right!

I... brushed my teeth today.

And no one had to remind me.

Hang on! Blair, why are you being so good?

What have you done? Byron, turn on the TV.

She didn't do anything! We're just being lovely kids.

There's nothing weird about our behavior.

Now, please find your seats, as dinner is served.

(exhales)

Owen!

Why did you make a threecourse dinner?

Uh, heh.

Well, first off, Rachel, I'd like to clarify

that I did not make a threecourse dinner. (chuckles)

We made a threecourse dinner.

Wow. You know what? I don't care what anyone else says.

We raised two good kids. Mmhmm.

Thanks.

Wait. What is everyone else saying?

It's moments like these that make me think having kids is easy.

Yeah. I'm usually so stressed out by the end of the day

that I wanna chuck you kids in the river, but...

I could get used to this.

Um, do you know what?

We left the pie cooling outside.

Owen, do you wanna help me go get it?

We'll just be one minute. (chuckles)

(door slams) You fool!

Having kids is easy? Mom could get used to this?

If your plan was to make them think parenting was a snap,

thus opening the floodgates for piles of babies to march through,

then congrats, dingdong! Mission accomplished!

You're right! How could being good have backfired so bad?

That's it! We gotta be bad.

So bad that Mom and Byron swear off having kids

because they think their DNA is tainted with evil.

(gasps) But it'll never work.

I'm a worldrenowned good boy.

Well, if you don't think you have acting chops...

Oh. (chuckles) Nonsense.

I just need to get into character.

Truth. Intention. Expression.

(inhales, exhales)

I am ready.

We got this.

So where's this pie you guys were talking about?

I don't know. Why don't you check your butt?

Owen: Hey!

Excuse me?

Hey, don't talk to your mother that way.

I can't help it. I'm a delinquent.

Blair, we don't eat with our hands.

Fine by me.

If you don't knock it off, I'll send you

straight upstairs to do your homework.

Shyeah, right. I'm never doing homework again.

Neither is Owen. Tell 'em.

(stammers) Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, uh, homework is lame, and I...

get nothing out of it intellectually.

In fact...

(singsongy): Homework!

If you see tears streaming down my face in a second,

those are tears of not caring.

What is with you guys?

We're jerks! Kids are jerks.

I want to drop out of school and focus on my skateboarding.

And I want to drop out of school and...

take a year off to travel and find myself.

You're doing amazing, sweetie,

but you're at a five, and I need you at a ten.

Our happiness depends on it.

(foghorn blares)

(audience cheering) Owen: Oh!

(bell dinging) Host: Okay, audience. You decide.

How does Owen ruin dinner?

This is going to be crazy!

Okay, you're gonna be given cards,

and a phone. We're gonna start

on you talking about, uh, starting at a ten.

Host: And let's get back to the scene.

Director: Action!

You want to see a ten, Blair?

Oh, I'll show you a ten.

Hey, uh, Dad and Rachel.

Huh. Wha

I've never really liked this family portrait.

Why?

(smashing) (yelling)

How's that for being bad?

(chuckling)

What did that portrait ever do to you?

Uh, but, you know, uh, I hate that portrait,

but what I don't hate is this new app that I just got.

It's called "Dirty Dog Destruction"!

(bell dings) (audience cheering)

First Oh, no.

Oh, no. Owen: First, we have to...

prepare the package. (chuckles)

(sighs happily) Apps are getting crazy nowadays.

Absolutely.

Told you we shouldn't have let them have phones.

(audience laughing)

Blair, how am I doing? You are doing great, Owen.

This is beyond what I thought you would do.

(audience laughing)

It's like (chuckling) Blair: (giggles) Ready?

(Rachel and Blair laughing)

(Byron yells)

I'll tell you, I always knew art class would come in handy.

Both: Oh! (audience laughing)

Owen: (laughing) This is what the app told us to do.

I don't have a good feeling about this app.

(Rachel scoffs)

But I'm willing to give this another couple of seconds,

because I trust you kids. (scoffs)

(audience laughing) Blair: Trust us with all your heart.

I'll just, uh, order up a friend, here.

A friend? What is about to happen?

Oh, Patton! It's time for dinner!

(all exclaiming)

Oh, no! (yelling)

(audience screaming and clapping)

(all laughing)

Ooh! Oh, no!

What is this, a bear?

Byron (chuckling): Whoa!

Owen: I tell you! Rachel: Oh!

Owen: Good boy!

Good boy! Good boy, Patton! Good boy!

You're so good! You're so good, boy!

Oh!

No! No! Owen: Yeah!

Bad dog!

I love me a good doggie kiss, though.

Rachel: Yeah, he's got a big snot on his nose.

(Owen laughing) Byron: Aah!

(all yelling and laughing)

Owen: Patton! Patton!

I'm a little offended that he licked you more.

(chuckles)

What's wrong with my face?

(audience cheering)

So Blair, was that bad enough for you?

I don't know what's gotten into you two.

I don't know, either. But we're gonna go look it up on the internet.

Do you think that was too much?

I had no idea misbehaving was such a rush!

Owen, from the bottom of my heart,

I've never been more proud to call you my brother.

Wait a minute. What's that?

(gasps)

Owen! Diapers!

Maybe they're leftover from when Grandpa was here.

No. They're baby diapers.

We're too late.

(dramatic musical flourish)

(audience cheering)

Kaylin: That was awesome. Ramon: Yeah.

That dog was so cute! That's a big dog.

♪♪

Can we talk to you guys?

That depends.

Are you gonna tell me to check my butt for pie again?

Listen, I'm sorry about that.

I knew that even if you did check your butt for pie,

you wouldn't find any.

Because there was no pie.

(gasps)

That wasn't my real homework, either.

It was decoy homework. (Rachel gasps)

What is going on with you kids lately?

Dad,

I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you.

But I want you to know that I've really loved our time together.

And although the era of Owen draws to a close,

I hope the lessons we learned

will be passed on to the next generation.

What?

Mom, I'm sorry, too.

But, I guess if I'm being perfectly honest,

this whole "us" thing wasn't really working for me, either.

Byron, are you getting any of this?

I think they're breaking up with us?

Yeah. Kids, I need an explanation now.

(bangs) We know about the baby.

Both: What? Drop the act.

Owen overheard you talking about it.

I'm so confused.

We were trying to change your minds.

We thought if we were really good,

you wouldn't want another kid.

But that didn't work, so then we thought

if we were really bad, you wouldn't want another kid.

But then we saw the diapers and realized Rachel was already preggers.

You're hiding the baby bump pretty well, by the way.

Pretty well There is no baby bump because there is no baby.

Both: Oh, thank goodness.

I can stay. I mean, maybe someday, but...

not right now.

What would be so bad about us having a baby?

Because if you guys have a baby,

it'll be more important that we are.

'Cause it'll be yours.

Together.

And what if you love it more than us?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, we will always love both of you, no matter what.

And there is no loving one kid more than another.

We might be stepparents and stepkids,

but those labels don't define us.

We're a family. But back up a sec.

What exactly did you overhear?

Something about how a baby would make our family complete.

(chuckles) (giggling)

Rachel (over machine): I was thinking more like, a baby.

Byron (over machine): Wow, you really think we're ready?

Rachel (over machine): I do.

Byron (over machine): But don't babies get up early?

Rachel (over machine): You're right. Let's get a puppy instead.

Byron (over machine): But we don't have time to house train a dog.

(whimsical music playing) Crazy Al (over machine): Yeehaw!

I'm Crazy Al,

from Crazy Al's Doggie Diaper Depot.

We got diapers for small dogs, for big dogs,

for bitey dogs, and every other kind of dog!

So come on down!

You overheard the commercial Rachel and I recorded

for our new sponsor.

We weren't trying to replace you.

We were hawking doggie diapers.

Owen! Duh!

Well, since you're back to being good again,

why don't you help us out with one more commercial?

(foghorn blares) (audience cheering)

Owen: I told you!

Host: Last vote, audience. (bell dings)

You choose what TV commercial

the family has to make.

It could be anywhere! And anything!

We're gonna start, uh, with your first line.

There'll be cue cards.

Host: And let's get back to the scene.

Director: Action!

I'm Byron, from Beatz101,

and we're doing a TV spot

for Yucky Fish Gut toothpaste!

(bell dings) (audience cheering)

Hey, Dad, what's Yucky Fish Gut toothpaste?

Well, son, it's the best toothpaste ever.

It has fish, fish guts,

broccoli, and squid ink.

(audience exclaiming)

It's perfect for your onthego lifestyle.

If you don't have the time to eat seafood,

just brush your teeth with it!

I'm gonna brush my teeth right now!

(audience exclaiming) (Byron giggling)

(audience screaming)

I can smell it.

(giggling)

(audience screaming)

That's, that's yucky and not minty at all!

Remember, you should always brush your teeth for two minutes.

(audience laughing)

I gotta swallow it.

Aah ha ha!

Aah!

Hey!

Hey. You kids should try it.

Oh ho! Oh!

(audience screaming) Aah!

These are my kids! I love 'em. (laughs)

Remember to smile! (chuckles)

(audience cheering)

(whimsical music playing)

♪ You're dirty and hungry, but you're on the run ♪

♪ Try a dinner and toothpaste in one ♪

♪ Oh, your breath could be worse ♪

♪ Cover that garlic with a fishy burst ♪

♪ It's Yucky Fish Gut toothpaste ♪

(audience cheering)

(whimsical music continues)

Woo!

And that's our show!

You guys have been a great audience!

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(theme music playing)

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