Original subtitles

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

Tobie: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(theme music playing)

(kids cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

All: Just Roll With It!

(bell ringing) (kids cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(audience cheering)

Suzi: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(audience cheering)

When you hear this sound...

(foghorn blares)

You get to vote on what happens to us in scenes!

(audience cheering)

We're in for a smooth ride tonight

because my mom's sitting in the audience,

and I know she's gonna take it easy on me!

(audience cheering)

I knew I should have brought Dad.

Well, whatever the audience decides to do, we'll have to...

All: Just Roll With It!

(audience cheering) Tobie: Yeah! Woo!

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

Announcer: On the last episode of Just Roll With It...

I don't wanna disturb the Lake Erie monsters

from their watery slumber.

Lake Erie monsters?

Well, you kids have heard of Garbage Pete before, right?

Tell me you've heard of Titan the Red Ink Squid?

We are having fun!

No one's having fun!

Guys, that's not good for the sail!

(shouting) Mr. Sail!

Man (on radio): Titan, the fabled Red Ink Squid, has been awoken.

(crashing) (all yelling)

Don't worry, family! I'll save you!

Blair: Get out of there!

(all yelling) (spraying)

I have something else I need to tell you guys.

Me, too. (yells) (foghorn blares)

What? (bell dings)

(bell dinging)

(girls shrieks)

Starting tomorrow, it's not just gonna be the four of us anymore.

My cranky drill sergeant father is coming to live with us.

Announcer: And now, for the rest of the story. (bell dings)

This is terrible. What do we do?

Just stay calm. Maybe if we tie our life preservers together,

we can turn into some kind of a makeshift raft.

No, I mean that your dad is coming!

It's gonna be like having a whole other Blair around,

except one of the Blairs always smells like someone farted in a pair of corduroys.

Rachel, how could you not have told me about this earlier?

He just called me this morning.

The retirement center he's been living in is kicking him out

for running an elderly fight club in the multipurpose room.

Guys, can we please focus on making sure we don't die right now?

I have an idea,

an old trick I remember from my survivalist training days.

(thunder rumbling) Help! Help!

Somebody help! We're doomed and losing hope!

(horn blaring) (yelling)

Yar! (all yelling)

Who are you? I be Garbage Pete.

And they call me that because I live in garbage,

and, well, my Christian name's Peter.

Gator was right. He is real.

Can you take us back to land? Yar!

The only way that Garbage Pete will help some lost sailors

is if they can solve my riddle.

♪ If you can guess my middle name ♪

♪ I'll take you back from whence you came ♪

Is it Troy?

What? Well, how did you know that?

It just popped up on my screen.

Do you wanna connect to Peter Troy Goldman's WiFi?

Well, that was easy.

Let's get on that boat, everybody.

Bye. (thunder rumbles)

Oh, yarg!

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(groans)

Almost dying sure did take it out of me.

(door closes) Yeah. Nothing could make this day worse.

Hey, Mr. Penworth just sent out an email.

Even though the school is teetering on the edge of that sinkhole,

and the state has deemed it a safety hazard,

they're reopening tomorrow, anyway. Fun!

No...!

Why didn't the giant squid take me?

Oh! There you all are!

(speaks indistinctly)

Grandpa! Oh, Blairski.

Hey, I, uh, discovered that all your doors were locked.

So I went around to the basement window, and...

jimmied it a little bit, and then I smashed it with this crowbar.

Oh. What a violent solution to that minor problem.

Oh, oh. And also, your, your toilet doesn't flush.

So I gave it a few whacks with a crowbar, made it worse.

Okay. Let's hand over the crowbar.

This is a surprise, Dad.

We weren't expecting to see you so soon. Oh, honey.

Yeah, that retirement home was getting on my last nerve.

I can tell when people don't want me around.

(chuckles) Can you?

I got something for you kids, 'cause I figured,

probably missed at least a couple of birthdays, huh?

Oh, wait. (chuckles): Yeah.

Slingshots!

Yeah, yeah. They're good ones. Yeah, they're sturdy.

They were banned in a couple of states.

They're also banned in this house.

Uh, that's right. A slingshot is a weapon,

and we have a rule in this house about arming Blair. No, but...

Oh, balderdash. What kind of a grandfather would I be

if I can't gift my grandchildren with tools of combat?

See, Mom? Grandpa says it's okay.

And since he's your dad,

that makes him the highest ranking parent in the house.

Blair, do you want to go to boarding school?

'Cause this is how little girls end up in boarding school.

Ooh, jeez. I'm sorry. I forgot. I got one more gift in here.

Yeah. (foghorn blares)

(audience cheering)

What is that, a tugboat? (laughing)

Announcer: It's voting time! (bell dings)

Should Grandpa give a gift to Byron or Rachel?

Not only that, but you get to write down

embarrassing phrases that will be part of the gift.

What are they doing?

I think it's gonna be something big and messy.

Announcer: Now, back to the scene. Man: Rolling!

Director: Action!

Oh, oh, oh. I've got one more gift.

And, uh...

This one's for Byron.

Oh! (bell dings)

(cheering)

(crew members giggle)

Thanks, Pops. What does it do? (chuckling)

This text sweatshirt will display handcrafted phrases

written by some pretty clever people.

(audience cheering)

Byron: What?

(all groaning) Byron: What does it do? What did it do?

Well, apparently, you eat boogers.

(laughing)

Uh, well, I will cherish this forever.

(laughing)

Grandpa: Oh, well. What is it? What does it say?

Rachel: Your favorite smell is cow farts?

(laughing)

Well, guys, I'm done wearing pants for the day, so, uh...

what room can I take?

Uh... (chuckles)

I guess you can take Owen's, and he can bunk with Blair.

Uh, there are other options.

Uh, for example,

we could give him the backseat of the car.

You are not gonna believe the legroom back there.

Well, I'm gonna fire up the old Internet

and see if I can find you a new assisted living center.

What do you say we try one of the cheaper, less accredited ones this time?

Oh, no. No need, baby doll.

I've been thinking it'd be nice if, you know,

Blairski and Otown had a strong, male role model in their lives.

I'm staying for good.

(flatly): Yay. Blair: Yes!

(audience cheering)

All right, you see this guy? You see him? Mmhmm.

He has no idea I'm right behind him!

(laughs)

One, two...

(both laughing)

Check it out. I'm sittin' on him!

Okay, everyone, dinner's ready.

We got one cheese, one pepperoni.

Uh... I'll take the pepperoni.

Owen: Uh, there's napkins over here

if any of you want to dab some of the grease off.

Dab some of the grease off?

That's the best part!

Here, give me that napkin. I'll squeeze it off on mine.

Dad, what are you doing?

Oh, I gotta keep playing my game.

There's a battle royale starting in two minutes.

All right, what are we dropping, boys?

Dad, um, we don't We don't eat in front of the TV.

We eat at the table.

Oh, how nice.

Yeah, you know, family time is important.

But I eat in front of the TV.

If Grandpa gets to eat in front of the TV

Blair, sit. (Blair scoffs)

But Grandpa says it's okay.

Dad, do you see what you're doing here?

Why don't you come back to the table?

But my boys need me!

Fine. Um, you know what? That's great.

Why don't you keep playing your video games

and keep undermining my authority in front of my children,

while you're a guest in my house.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay. Let's just ignore Grandpa. Hmm?

Uh, Blair, how was, uh, school today?

Blair: Ugh. Not good.

Becky Sparx reminded Mr. Penworth

that we hadn't had a quiz in a while.

So now they're giving us one tomorrow.

Woohoo. Fun.

No! Not fun.

I haven't been reading any of the stuff they've been telling us to read.

Blair, that is unacceptable.

You have to read what the teacher tells you to.

No time. I'm too busy figuring out a way

to get revenge on Becky Sparx.

Blair, what have I told you about revenge?

Hey, you could always give her a good Foamalope.

Uh...

Dare I ask?

What is a "Foamalope?"

It's an old trick we used to do back in Guam.

You see, you take an envelope and you fill it with shaving cream.

Then you stick the open end underneath the door...

(stomps) Boom!

(laughs)

I hope you like a face full of foam, Becky Sparx!

That's perfect! I'll go get an envelope.

No. You just lost envelope privileges.

Dad, I don't want you teaching this kind of stuff to the kids,

especially that kid.

Now, I've... I've about had it

with you going against everything I say.

Eh, you're right.

But, you know, when I get around the kids, I just get really excited.

But when Mortimer Archibald Bennett makes a mistake,

he owns up to it.

So, I am officially sorry.

You're welcome.

♪ ♪

Uh! He did it again.

I specifically told Blair she couldn't borrow money to go to the mall.

So what does she do? She asks her grandpa, and he gives it to her.

That sounds terrible, and I wanna talk to you about it,

but I'm on the air in like 60 seconds.

I can't afford for him to be a bad influence on Blair.

I think I have to ask him to move out.

Were we really talking about kicking Grandpa out?

Your only father?

A senior citizen with nowhere else to go?

I'm in. Let's get my room back.

Oh, Byron, you're on the air.

Uh... (foghorn blares)

(all cheering)

(bell dinging) Announcer: Okay. What crazy world record

should Byron try to break?

First thing is we're gonna start the scene from Byron's new line

which is gonna be on the card on the table.

Then when we go back to the scripted scene,

it's gonna go from your line, "And you're on the air."

Okay.

Announcer: Now back to the scene. Man: Rolling!

Director: Action!

Hey, Beatz Nation! DJ Byron Blatt here.

In my new segment, I'm gonna try to break the world record

for most clothespins on a human face.

(bell dinging) (cheering)

Like, like my face? Mine? Rachel: I hope so.

The current record is 161.

(Byron laughs)

Good day.

(cheering)

Kids, don't try this at home.

Please take a seat in the official clothespinning chair.

(laughter)

Are you ready? Can she help me, please?

Yes, if you would like. I would like.

Are you ready?

How'd you, how Official: And begin!

Rachel: Ha, ha! Let's go, let's go. Let's do it. Let's go. Come on.

Make some cheeks.

(bell dinging) (audience cheering)

How many, 161? Where's my mouth?

(dinging)

I love my listeners! Rachel: Yes!

(chuckling)

I think I need a raise for this, Rachel.

We'll talk.

(Byron groaning)

The other record he's breaking is cheapest facelift!

(bell dinging)

(Byron mumbles) Rachel: Oh, let me get your tongue.

(Byron screaming) (audience laughing)

Rachel: Okay, never mind.

(Byron yelling) (audience laughing)

Let's go. I want this record.

Dad, you're not even five percent there. Byron: Who did this first?

(buzzer buzzes) (Byron groaning)

Unfortunately, Byron, you have run out of face.

You have failed miserably. Audience: Aw!

I don't know why I even bothered coming. (Byron groans)

Suzi: Me either. (audience cheering)

That, that's it, Beatz Nation!

(cheering)

Byron: And we're out!

Can we get back to the important stuff

evicting our elderly family member?

Look, I'm sure everything will be fine.

We just need to talk to Blair and explain that what we say

trumps whatever Grandpa says, because we're her parents,

and Grandpa's an insane person.

(phone ringing)

Hello? Speaking of Blair, where is she?

I don't know. She wasn't there to walk with me after school.

I'll be right there.

That was the school. They're holding Blair.

She's been suspended.

Audience: Ooh!

(audience cheering)

Mr. Penworth, I'm so sorry.

I take full responsibility for whatever she did.

Unless she caused damage that requires us to pay money,

in which case, we should have a conversation.

Mom, I'm sorry.

Blair, would you mind waiting outside?

Thank you for making it here. It's nice to see you.

I feel like we haven't gotten to talk in quite a while What did she do?

Well, in the middle of my science class,

someone Foamaloped Becky Sparx.

I knew it. My dad is so out of here.

But we had no idea who did it.

Becky Sparx has a ton of enemies. (laughs)

So, I told the entire school that until someone came forward,

I was canceling all field trips.

And to my surprise, Blair came to my office and confessed.

Really? Yeah.

That is so unlike Blair.

I know.

I've been trying to untangle her sordid web of crimes for years. But...

Something has changed with her.

This time she fessed up and said,

"When you make a mistake, you own up to it."

And then she said she was officially sorry.

And then she said, "You're welcome," which was a little weird.

Wow.

That sounds like my dad.

I think this is a huge improvement

in Blair's development.

Then why are you suspending her?

Oh. I'm not. But saying that is the only way

I can get parents to come to my office anymore.

♪ ♪

We're home.

(grunts): Just in time.

I've got Grandpa's bag all packed.

Grandpa, I booked you a flight to Miami!

(singsongy): Leavin' at 11!

(chuckles)

There's lots of assisted living centers down there,

and if you can't find one the first night,

at least it's warm.

What's going on here?

Well, Dad,

to be honest, I've been pretty unhappy

with the way you've been undermining my authority since you've been here.

I see. And today, Blair got in trouble at school

for something she learned from you.

I'm sorry, Grandpa.

Even though the school is letting her off,

I'm still grounding her for a month.

And I was gonna ask you to move out

Don't stress about it, though.

I know moving can be a hassle,

but I called you a ride share.

And Yolanda is only... uh, four minutes away.

She's got a great rating, too.

You're in for a treat. (chuckles)

But then the school said that for the first time ever,

Blair owned up to her actions and did the right thing.

It was after she did the wrong thing, but still,

it's an improvement.

And if I'm being honest, I think she also learned that from you.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that...

you can stay with us for as long as you like, Dad.

(flatly): This is so great.

And I'm totally happy to pay the cancellation fee

for this car.

Eh, that's great, Owen. Would you go ahead and put my stuff back in your room?

I'm sorry I got you in trouble, Grandpa.

I'm just proud that you took responsibility for what you did.

Well, I learned it from watching you. Eh.

Plus, I didn't want anyone taking credit for my takedown of Becky Sparx.

She has a lot of enemies.

Oh. I'm, like, the king of the school now.

(chuckles) All hail the king, huh?

This is nice.

You know, Pops, I've been meaning to talk to you, too.

I know I can be intimidating to be around sometimes

Uh, I'll tell ya Let me stop you right there, son.

(foghorn blares)

(audience cheering)

(excited chattering, laughing)

Yeah. Had no clue.

(bell dings) Announcer: It's the last vote.

Where should Grandpa send Byron?

First thing, we're gonna start the scene with Grandpa's new line.

It's written on the card he has.

All right? All right.

Announcer: Now back to the scene. Man: Rolling!

Director: Action!

Since I'm gonna be here for a while,

I figured my soninlaw should share some of my interests.

Which is why I'm sending you

off to play football with some real athletes.

(bell dinging) (audience cheering)

For real? For real?

Yeah, one of my buddies is ready to give you a lift. Come on in!

Oh, just keep going? (Rachel whimpering)

Um, bye.

Please wear pads. All right, all right. I'm gonna wear pads.

I'll see you all. Love you all.

Thanks, Pops. This is crazy, but I think I'm gonna be excited about it.

(cheering)

(cackling) What?

This about to be stink. I can't wait. (audience laughing)

Byron: (laughs) Are we, like, where

Are we, like, for real? Where are we going?

Good thing he won't get teased for that shirt.

(laughing)

I'm back!

It took me three days to claw myself out of the belly of the beast.

But The Gator has returned!

Right. I forgot you were on that boat with us.

I've been wondering why you haven't been at work the past few days.

Wait a minute.

You guys weren't worried about me?

No! NNo! Wewe were.

We were su super worried. Yeah.

Honestly, I just forgot about you.

(mouthing)

Well, that's not cool. I sacrificed myself.

I went through a series of really harrowing events for all of you.

I mean, I had to survive by crafting

Sorry, Gator. We don't have time for this right now.

'Cause that's our show!

You guys have been a great audience!

(marching band music playing)

This is wild.

We are really on this football field.

Byron, let's play football.

Let's do this. You're gonna be on offense.

He's gonna kick it, you're gonna catch it,

and you're gonna run right through all of these guys.

Can I have him on my team?

I'm sorry. (whistle trills)

(grunting) (whistle trills)

(grunting)

(whistle trills)

(yelling)

Where are you going?

(yelling)

(grunting)

Byron: Help me!

(grunting)

(spectators cheering, clapping)

(grunting)

(grunts, pants): Take it easy!

(grunts loudly)

(whistle trills)

Give me a water!

I did it!

(theme music playing)

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