Original subtitles

Thomas and I were always into rock.

Because rock is all about attitude.

You work hard, but remain a rebel.

Thomas and I promised we'd never sell out.

But we sold out to the RATP.

Hello. Tickets, please.

We were 2nd grade ticket inspectors on Line 42.

For f 5,667 gross a month.

It paid the bills while we waited to be discovered.

Orly Sud is the name of our group.

Thomas, Mr. Glue and me.

Music was my life.

Thank you.

On drums. The light-fingered Mr. Glue.

On bass guitar.

The astounding Thomas.

And I'm Lucas.

Now we'll do something I wrote.

"Soul Full of Blues."

Singing my own songs made me happy.

But I was the only one.

Nobody cared.

Especially Thomas.

-Bye, Lucas. See you Tuesday. -Bye, Mr. Glue.

Watch out!

Now I'll mime "hope."

That went well, didn't it?

-What do you think? -I'll take my cloth back.

I'll be back next week.

I don't think you get it. This is a music venue.

OK. I'll be back next week. I'll mime "guitar."

Sorry. Excuse me.

-Finished your shift, Marion? -Yeah.

-Wanna grab a drink? -Well...

My boyfriend's here.

I've got lots to do anyway. Bring back the instruments...

Bye.

You did a great job!

The concert is over now.

I've got your bass.

Dammit.

That asshole sold me crap a few days ago.

Oh, dammit.

It hurt to see my best friend in such a bad state.

-Are you OK? -Yeah, I'm OK.

Dammit.

-Are you OK? -Drop it. I'm OK.

Dammit.

We think that saying goodbye is a sad affair. Not at all.

That was the last time I saw Thomas.

But someone else took his place.

Hey, brat! I'm Francis.

-Just finished my show. -Yeah. I know.

And?

Well... Can you drop me at Porte de Vanves?

No. Sorry. I live in Montreuil.

-That's OK. -It's the opposite direction.

You're right. I'd better stay at your place.

Is there beer at your place?

That was April 12, 1997. The last Orly Sud concert.

Three days later, Mr. Glue crashed his motorbike in Poissy.

The next month, Thomas died of an overdose in a Hamburg squat.

I was 30 years old. I would never be successful.

I had to turn to a new page of my life.

A page with no music.

TEN YEARS LATER. Hello, tickets, please.

-I left my card at home. -Of course you did. Got ID?

Yes.

What's this? Gibson. I hope you have nice neighbors.

Don't forget your card again.

-Your ticket, please. -I play the flute.

You play the flute!

-Tickets, please. -Thank you.

-Hello. Ticket, please. -Thank you.

Marion?

-That's the name on the card. -No. We know each other.

-Lucas Chevalier. -Yeah.

I used to play in the bar where you worked.

Yeah! That was a long time ago.

How are you? What are you doing now?

I'm a rock star. I live in Los Angeles.

I'm playing Bercy this evening.

-Seriously! -OK. I lied.

I'm a ticket inspector. It's a dream job.

-Watch out! -I'm sorry.

-Does your group still play? -Orly Sud. No. Not anymore.

That's a pity. You were a good singer.

-This is my stop. -Oh, you...

-Bye. -Yeah. Bye.

Stop, Jean-Pierre. Stop! Open the door!

Marion!

Marion.

How about having dinner with me some evening?

I can show you lots of Orly Sud photos.

I want to feed you.

Call me.

Some night...

Let's go, Jean-Pierre.

I can do what I want. I'm the ticket inspector.

Asshole!

Wii bowling. I'll take you on. Anytime.

In the meantime, put your Wii away.

Francis had stayed over "for one night." Ten years ago.

Focus, Francis! Focus!

The Wii helps me keep in shape. Did you get beer?

A little beer.

Dammit, put something on!

Why?

It never crossed your mind to put on briefs?

-Haven't you gone outside? -Yes.

It's 8 PM. Put some briefs on.

I don't see the point if I'm going to bed in 2 hours.

No briefs, no beer.

-It's in the wash. -You can't have just one pair.

Yes.

You only have one fridge. Q.E.T.

It's D. Q.E.D.

Know what?

You've got body issues, Lucas.

No. I just want you to wear briefs.

You've gotta go out tomorrow night. I'm having someone over.

-Yes. -I'd like to be left in peace.

-Go on. -Her name is Marion.

She's cute and elegant. She's got a good job.

If she finds out that I've lived with an unemployed naked guy

for 10 years, I don't think she'll like it.

Wait a minute...

First off, I'm not unemployed. I'm on stand-by.

Secondly, if you're ashamed of me,

-tell me to my face. -You're a great guy.

I just want to be alone with her. So beat it.

What am I supposed to do with myself?

Go visit your ex-fiancée.

The stammerer who looks like Foucault.

Laetitia...

I was looking for Orly Sud mementos for Marion.

When I moved Thomas' bass, I knocked over a blue notebook.

Blue notebooks are so ordinary.

But this blue notebook would change my life.

Take that, Zidane!

Could you turn that down?

Apologies for breathing while you play piano, Picasso!

-Want a cupcake? -No. I don't want a cupcake.

Dammit, you're getting crumbs everywhere!

The Black and Decky Dustbuster.

-Decker. -Decker.

Aren't you tired?

-Tomorrow's a big day. -Yeah, you're right. I'm beat.

Lucas, that's not bad. Who wrote it?

You'll never guess. I found it in the basement...

Keep it down. I need to sleep.

Romeo and Juliet live. October 14, 2000. I was there.

I was wondering if I could take tonight off.

-Playing gling-gling again? -Gling-gling. No. That's over.

If you've got no talent, you should give up.

-That's not very... -I'm joking.

OK for tonight.

This is very good.

The head office is in London.

I travel there at least twice a month.

Twice a month! You spend all your time there.

How do they feel about your alcoholism?

They're really cool.

As long as I don't spill wine on documents.

I've even negotiated vomit breaks.

Lucas, there's a guy in your living room.

-Why are you doing home? -You're not in bed yet?

It's not even 10 PM!

What happened to your girlfriend?

Laetitia?

I saw her. We made love. I prefer not to sleep over.

Marion, this is my friend and roommate, Francis.

He's very tired. He's going to bed now.

-Hello. -Hello. Or maybe a kiss.

Very soft.

She's better than your usual type.

Thank you. Can we eat in peace?

-So you go to London often. -What's this? It looks good.

-Lamb stew. -With spring vegetables.

-With spring vegetables. -He never made that for me.

That's not nice, Lucas.

Salad from Shopi.

Never a lamb stew. Only the worst for Francis.

I don't know what he wants in exchange.

-But he'll make you happy. -Can't buy me that way.

A woman is a woman.

I'll make it for you. Good night.

I'll leave you two alone. Bon appétit.

Thank you. Good night. Do you travel to other countries?

-Excuse me. -Other than London?

Can I have this crust?

I think your friend is hungry.

Have a seat.

He was hungry!

I assure you he has a good appetite.

That was bland.

Francis, are you also a ticket controller?

No. I'm an artist. Unlike certain people,

I don't want to sacrifice my artistic integrity

-just to earn a living. -What art...

Mime. The art of mime.

I experience thoughts and emotions without using words.

Want to see? Pick any word and I'll mime it.

He's very good. You'll see.

I don't know... How about "hunger."

-No. Another word. -"Free."

Free is an adjective. Give me a word.

Ok, how about "happiness."

"Happiness" is good.

I'll do "hope."

A clean slate.

Oh yeah...

-I haven't even begun. -Sorry.

-Is that it? -Yes, that's it.

See. I told you he was great.

Yeah.

Great. I've never seen anything like it.

It was sad. And also cheerful...

It's very moving when the pigeon falls.

-It's a dove. -That's hope!

Mime speaks through silence.

How about miming "I'm tired. I'm going to bed now."

-What about dessert? -There's no dessert.

Isn't that a summer fruits cake?

Liar. Pinocchio!

No. This is Pinocchio.

I'll get some more hot water.

Try some pear liquor. You'll forget all your worries.

-Will you play us something? -If he does, I'm off to bed.

Don't make too much noise!

Please, Lucas. Play for me.

-No, I don't want to. -Either you play or I leave.

-I think I'll play something. -There you go.

That was great.

Who wrote it? Did you?

-It's... -Is it a recent song?

Could you play it again?

I didn't write it. Thomas did.

So I told myself he was helping me out. Posthumously.

But the problem with little white lies is that they grow.

At some point, there's no going back.

Marion introduced me to a Sony BMG manager

who signed me as a singer-songwriter.

I recorded the ten songs from Thomas' blue notebook

and it all took off. Very quickly.

-Hello. -Hello.

Luka.

Our guest on "Grand Journal" tonight.

"Qui le saura."

A million copies of this album have already been sold.

Look what I found in my basement.

Thank you.

Very nice. Good job.

A diamond album. A million copies sold.

You're incredibly famous now, but nobody had heard of you

a year ago. How do you deal with it?

Very well indeed. Celebrity suits me.

You'll be playing the Olympia this weekend.

Yes. Thank you.

-Oh. Bibou. -No. Don't call me Bibou.

OK. The interview went well. You stammered and made mistakes,

but that makes it real. It's nice.

I talked to the director.

They'll edit for re-broadcast. What about new songs?

The record company gave us a big advance.

We should give them something to chew over...

-I'm working on it. -OK. By the weekend?

Last thing. I almost forgot.

You sweat there. Like Enrico Macias. Looks dirty.

You mustn't sweat.

Don't forget about the Olympia rehearsals.

-Goodnight, Bibou. -Don't call me Bibou.

I had become a successful singer.

I had fame, money and preferential treatment.

The best table available. Drinks on the house.

Women who thought I was tall, handsome and funny. Famous.

Mr. Palmade!

-Sorry to disturb you. -Not at all.

-Your interview went well. -Thank you.

I sent you two tickets for my concert on Friday.

I can't make it.

I'm going to St. Paul de Vence for a few days. With...

-Do I know them? -Yeah.

-Tell me! -I can't say.

-Spit it out! -No. Stop it!

-What do they look like? -Good. Well, I like them.

-Tell me! -OK, but keep it to yourself.

-Of course. -I don't want a drunken promise.

I promise. Singer's promise.

Bogdanov!

-The Bogdanov brothers? -Shush!

Which one? Grichka?

-No. -Igor?

No.

The Bogdanov brothers.

Celebrities live on another planet.

I wanted to keep my feet firmly on the ground.

So I kept Francis.

Hi!

Could you park your jalopy properly next time?

-Did you pick up some beer? -No.

-But I have a surprise for you.

-Damn! That's ugly! -That's not for you.

This is for you.

65 sq. m on boulevard St Germain. Facing south.

Move tomorrow and I can get started with the work.

You're welcome!

Hang this up in the bathroom, please.

-What are you doing? -You forgot to get beer.

-I'm thirsty. -"Château d'Angelus 89"!

-Know how much this cost? -It's always about money.

Day and night.

However...

You should taste this. It's called water.

It's quite surprising how refreshing it can be.

It's packed full of minerals. Good night. See you tomorrow.

Water as a nightcap!

I watched you on Canal. You were great, my love.

Lucas, Francis is watching us!

-What are you doing there? -I like to watch you.

Seen the hammer? I know you're gonna make love...

Look in the toolbox.

The toolbox.

Life was good, but I had to work on it.

And come up with another blue notebook of songs.

When you run out of ideas, you find inspiration in others.

But they didn't want a second Bashung.

So I tried another approach. Anti-globalization...

I even tried my hand at French new wave...

Useless! Absolute crap!

Writing a song isn't easy.

Gainsbourg, Nougaro and Aznavour

have used up all the good themes.

Love, friendship, the passing of time.

What was left? Acne, karting, electrical stores...

Hey Lucas, there's a problem.

The shower goes from super cold to super hot.

-I don't need to be cooked. -OK. Don't forget.

You move out today.

-And put on some briefs! -No. I like it.

A little boy's penis on a grown man is funny.

I'll drop Marion at the station.

When I get back, you won't be here. Some spending money.

-You treat me like a whore. -Don't go there!

I got you an apartment. We'll still see each other.

A bachelor pad. You'll pass by when you feel like it.

There isn't enough room for you, Marion and the baby.

-We need your room. -I don't mind if it cries.

No way. You can't sleep in the baby's room.

You're a chain smoker.

The blame game. You prefer your child.

Who you've not even met. It's been ten years...

Lucas, you've changed. It's gone to your head.

-That's serious. -Have a safe trip, Marion.

Can you bring me Guinness from England?

-No, I won't bring you beer! -You've changed too.

Move your feet please, my love.

Shoes leave marks. They're hard to remove.

-I'll miss you. -I'll miss you more.

That's Luka.

-Behave yourself while I'm away. -Of course I will.

Take care of your mommy.

Have a safe trip.

Hello. Thank you.

I love you.

I love you too.

Is it him? I don't think so.

It's him. Can I take a photo of you with my wife?

-Sure. -Great.

-That's great. Thank you. -Smile, dear.

Another one.

Thomas?

Everything's OK. I'll get you a painkiller.

Thank you.

This is crazy.

-It's unbelievable. -I thought you were...

Dead.

-Where were you? -India. I live in Pushkar.

Ten years ago, I ended up in Hamburg.

I had some issues. I went to India to get drugs.

And I met someone. She helped me kick the habit.

I have a daughter.

Her name is Janma. It means "rebirth" in Hindi.

She's pretty.

-Do you live there now? -Yes.

Why did you come back?

-Remember my uncle Étienne? -No.

I rarely saw him.

He died. Since there are only two of us...

We have to sign legal papers in Étretat in 3 days.

-What are you doing now? -Take this. It will relax you.

Thank you.

Thomas, I have something to tell you.

-Excuse me. Is this yours? -Yes, thank you.

-Got more luggage? -No. I'm going back in 3 days.

-You're going back in 3 days? -Yes.

I was thinking...

Do you keep up with what's happening in France?

Not really. It's Pushkar, after all.

You never told me what you're doing now.

This was the moment to tell him everything.

About his blue notebook, Marion, my fame. Thanks to him.

I'm still a ticket inspector.

Can I have...

Sure.

It's for health insurance.

Truth is easily told when you have nothing to lose.

But too much was on the line.

I had three days to become a nobody. A regular guy.

A guy that nobody would recognize.

This is nice. It smells of India and spices.

It smells good.

-Let's take my car. -Do you still drive fast?

Thank you.

It has a nice texture.

The RATP must have given you a raise.

The car.

It's not mine.

I borrowed it from a friend.

A very rich actor.

It's good to see you again.

-Move your foot, please. -Sorry.

My friend doesn't like it. He says that it leaves marks.

He's right.

It's strange to be back in Paris.

It must be.

Watch out!

Asshole! He smashed my mirror.

Don't move.

Stay here. I'll deal with it.

-Everything OK? -Yeah.

Aren't you Luka?

Yes, I am.

The singer.

-Yeah. -It's incredible.

I met Julien Courbet last week. What are the chances of that?

-Sorry about the... -You're pretty short!

No. I'm average.

You're a wimp. A tiny, tiny wimp.

Think so? -I'll still buy your CD.

-I'm very touched. -It's the truth.

But the lyrics...

Great. Congrats. I mean that!

-Sorry about the mirror. -I wasn't using it anyway.

-Let's write up a report. -To report what?

I've got better things to do than write up reports.

"Qui le saura." Who would know. Just like your song title.

You're not the only one who can play with words.

-Thank you. -Bye. Respect!

-Thank you. -Stay cool.

No accident report? He's a nice guy.

Yeah.

Bye.

He took it pretty well.

People have changed since Sarkozy was elected.

They're more cool. More relaxed.

-More friendly. -Who is Sarkozy?

Sarkozy.

A guy who dates a singer. Want to stay at my place?

Dammit! This can't be your place.

Yes... I mean no. It's the guy who owns the car.

-This is his house. -He's doing well.

Give me 5 minutes. I'll ask him if you can stay.

Honestly, I don't want to bother anyone. I can get a hotel room.

No way.

Out of the question.

It's you, Lucas. I was just leaving.

Lucas, my friend.

I think you should stay for a while longer, Francis.

-Feeling remorseful? -I'm stricken with remorse.

I need you. I have a role for you.

A role?

What exactly?

A friend of mine will stay here for 3 days.

I don't like the sound of that. Beware of spongers.

As soon as you become successful, they materialize.

Not like me.

His name is Thomas. He lives in India.

He played bass guitar in my old band.

He mustn't find out that I became a successful singer.

Hide my award. He mustn't find out.

I don't like this at all.

He's very jealous. And violent. Very violent.

I don't like this.

I don't like this, Lucas.

Officially, I still work as a ticket inspector. OK?

-OK. -I don't have money.

-So this is your house. -This is my house. Thank you.

I'm not giving it to you.

-We're gonna pretend it's yours. -Of course. OK.

-The Mercedes is also yours. -The Mercedes.

I don't know what to say. Thank you. That's great.

It's not great. You don't get it.

You're gonna pretend that you own everything. Pretend!

You play the role of owner. You're a rich famous actor.

I'd have preferred to play a resistance fighter.

A fighter who attacks the German military command

-while the soldiers eat lunch. -No.

No. You're right. A young nurse.

Tormented by her love for her supervisor,

a surgeon from Guadeloupe.

-A bittersweet tale. -No. You just own this house.

OK.

-But I get your room. -Yes, if you want to.

Get a move on!

What kind of owner should I be?

A landlord with a large herd of livestock

-or a nouveau riche like you? -Just an owner. That's all.

I have it....

I adore improvisation.

I got a cheap flight to London.

Then the Eurostar.

It's very quick.

Hello.

Francis, this is my friend, Thomas.

Hello.

Thomas, this is my friend, Francis. He's an actor.

-Owner of this house. -And the Mercedes.

-Welcome. -Thank you for having me.

It's my pleasure.

Your house is really nice.

But maintaining such a residence is a real drag.

What with taxes and taxation.

Not to mention termites and roofing.

Being a property owner these days is no picnic.

I can imagine. This magnificent garden must be a lot of work.

This landscape relaxes me.

Thomas, violence was never the solution. Never.

Sure. Can I wash my hands?

Sure. There is a wide range of towels in the...

Towel area.

What are you doing?

-I'm gonna grab an apple. -Go ahead.

They're fresh from the orchard. They're ever so good, Thomas.

Tone it down, dammit!

What's with the scarf? And the limp?

You're taking it too far, Francis!

-Is my acting bad? -Dammit!

This is how I envisaged my role.

If my unpaid performance doesn't suit you, I'll give up.

Find another actor.

No, Francis.

You're a gifted comedic actor. Just be a little more natural.

-More natural? -Act like you do around me.

OK. That's interesting.

Hey old boy, I hope you didn't piss in the sink.

No. I'd prefer the toilet. Where is it?

This way. Follow me.

Stop limping. Stop limping, dammit!

You can take care of the rest yourself.

-What are they? -Nails.

-Nails? -For the gold disc.

I forgot to take it down. He'll see it.

That depends on whether it's a number one or a number two.

I hope it's a number one. Or else he'll see it.

-No number two! -If he pees, he'll see it.

He'll turn around when he's done. And see it.

You're screwed.

Like old times.

You were at Gare du Nord because you flew into London?

-Yeah. -Then you took the Eurostar?

-It's convenient. -Yeah, it is.

-I'll show you to your room. -I'll get my bag.

-The toilet is free now. -I don't need to go.

Go to the toilet.

Now that you mention it, I'd better take a tinkle.

He's a nice guy, but he's a little weird.

No.

Lucas, I'm having a little difficulty.

Could you get me some pliers?

Lucas, could you fetch us a little wine, please?

I have a bottle of "Saint Emilion Château d'Angelus 89."

How about a Cahors instead? I think there's some left.

No. I want the "Château d'Angelus 89."

It's in the kitchen.

-May I smoke? -Of course.

-I'm also a smoker. -I can't find it.

It's on the left-hand shelf, scatterbrain!

Pure nectar! Nothing like Cahors.

He knows nothing about wine.

It's great. I never drink wine like this. Thank you.

-You should taste it. -No. I'm not thirsty.

I'll prepare dinner.

-So you're an actor? -A comedic actor.

Hey Lucas! Could you fetch us some sausage.

-And some pistachios. -You do films?

Mostly theatre. I love the smell of greasepaint.

I was in "La barrière". Did you see it?

No. I...

Jean Hurtie's "La Barrière" at the "Théatre National du Mans."

I was the lock keeper. The lead role.

The script was very moving.

Very difficult, very apt. Very interesting.

Very hard-hitting. But then we had some issues.

Subsidies, files, Sarthe local council...

We were bothering people.

Provincial thinking.

That's when I decided

to go it alone. Alone and free. Reedom.

Reedom?

Alone.

Thanks, old boy.

Is the sausage going to chop itself up?

Would you like me to open up the pistachios too?

No. Why?

I'm currently putting the finishing touches to a show

that melds the ancestral art of mime and modern stand-up.

I know I'll make it big some day.

As Jean Vilar used to say, "Unemployment, then good times."

Francis. Can I show you something in the kitchen?

Good old Francis!

Why did you mention unemployment?

You're supposed to be rich. You're a film actor.

Oh shit!

-What film have I appeared in? -What do I know? Make one up!

OK. I have it!

Don't overcook the steak, Lucas.

Not like "La Grande Vadrouille." That was fun to work on.

You were in "La Grande Vadrouille." How old are you?

He played a Nazi child. Quit talking shop. OK, Francis?

You don't eat the shells?

No. I don't.

Honestly, your friend Francis is...

-What do you mean? -He's gotta be on drugs.

-Lots of drugs. -I thought so.

However, I can't really preach.

I wasn't exactly a clean-living guy.

We all have ghosts in the closet.

-Sleep well. Goodnight. -Thank you.

How about we hang out here tomorrow afternoon?

No. I want to wander around Paris tomorrow.

There's not a lot to see in Paris.

-We'll have much more fun here. -Goodnight.

-Alexandra, it's Lucas. -Oh, Bibou.

Are your new songs ready?

Yeah. I'd like to reschedule rehearsal for 8 AM tomorrow.

-8 AM? What's come over you? -I've planned to write some more

in the afternoon. I write better then.

-See you at 8 AM tomorrow. -Bibou!

Your shower is broken. It froze me and scalded me.

I told you about it this morning.

Put that out.

-What's behind your head? -A pillow.

Enjoy it while it lasts. This is wet.

You're a slob. You used my toothbrush!

Actor's Studio.

-You can always use mine. -I'll use this one instead.

-Lucas! -What now?

It's nice to be rich.

-Lucas. -Yeah.

-Certain about your plan? -Yeah.

What's up?

-Can't you sleep? -No, I can't sleep.

What with the time difference...

Going to the depot? I'll go with you.

-Is Pasquier still there? -Yes, he is.

-What day is it? -Tuesday.

I'm such an idiot! Today's my day off.

Thanks to the union, we don't work Tuesdays.

-I don't know where my head is! -That's cool.

-I'll go with you another day. -Sure. Another day.

I'm going to take a drive through Paris. Coming?

Why the obsession with Paris?

The aim was not to be recognized.

But that's not possible when you're well known.

-Can we take a photo? -Sure. Of course.

There you go. Thank you.

Asshole!

Luka!

No. It's an ex. Let's keep going.

-An ex? -Aren't you Luka?

Isn't she a little old for you? Spill the beans!

Thomas wasn't stupid.

He would become suspicious. Paris was one big trap.

But it's where I had a brainwave. Gronvieux!

Thomas, we've gotta go home. I've got a surprise for you.

-What? -It's special.

That's all I can say. But it's a big surprise!

-Tell me! -No.

-Go on! -No.

He'll be here.

That's the artist's prerogative. If you had his talent...

Stop that.

You still get paid.

Do the Beatles still get paid?

OK then. Paid to do nothing.

-Francis. -I'm here.

Where are the keys... Take off that t-shirt!

Where are the Mercedes keys?

I took them. I'm gonna go for a drive.

-You can take my Subaru. -Hi, Francis.

Hi, Thomas. Hot, isn't it?

Yeah. Can I get something to drink.

-Sure. -Thank you.

-Give me the keys. -No.

Please. I have to take a trip with Thomas.

It would be nice if I could

take your Mercedes. You could take my Subaru.

Umm, no.

You're pretty hard on your friend.

He's super nice. He gave you a place to stay.

Money doesn't give you extra rights.

Oh, no.

This is a Mercedes CL 500. A no-smoking area.

Not the place for dripping, disgusting food!

Ketchup on my leather seats!

-That wasn't me. -It wasn't you.

No, it wasn't me. It must have been you.

No, it wasn't me!

I never put ketchup on my leather seats.

No drinks, no ice cream, no chips, no food.

Nothing that sticks or drips. No crumbs.

-Is that clear? -Yes, Führer.

What? If you don't like it, you can take the Subaru

and eat fondue or raclette.

-No food in my car! -OK then. You know what?

I think it's best that I tell Thomas you're a singer.

That you're rich and you forced me to lie.

Have a safe trip. Be careful.

No phone calls while driving. It's very dangerous.

No calls.

-Hello, who is this? -Of course you picked up.

-What did I just say to you? -I saw that it was you...

So what? Turn off your cell phone!

What was that noise? Did you crash?

I'm not injured!

Francis?

I had a simple plan. I would isolate Thomas.

Gronvieux was the ideal location.

Never heard of it? Have you heard of Ibiza?

Well, Gronvieux is nothing like Ibiza.

Where is this big surprise?

Right there.

Don't you remember?

It was my grandmother's house.

Ole Grandma.

We rehearsed here with Orly Sud once.

I thought you would really like this. Darn it!

-No. It's cool. -We had lots of fun.

You had brought weed from Amsterdam.

Yeah. Your grandmother nabbed me.

-I remember hiding it somewhere. -We'll have so much fun here.

We'll take walks, pick mushrooms, milk cows.

Sounds good. A change of scenery.

Cool. Looks pretty medieval.

Hello.

-Alexandra, it's Lucas. -Where the hell are you?

What about the Olympia rehearsal?

-I'm at home. I have the flu. -You're lying.

I love you, Bibou, but you're lying to me.

The doctor's at the door. Give me a minute!

-Bibou. -I'll call you back.

My love, you finally called me.

I've been busy rehearsing. How are things with you?

-Where are you? -In the recording studio.

They're messing around with sound effects.

That's enough, guys!

I've got to go. I love you.

Hey, old guy.

Lucas.

Salvation!

What's up with this weed?

It takes effect pretty quickly.

Good weed is like good wine. It gets better with age.

I don't think it's having any effect.

Think so?

Really?

I've gotta go chop some wood.

Chop some wood.

Dammit.

They're so stoned.

Dammit, I'm blinded by your white skin.

Are you albino?

A small piece.

One...

Two...

Wait. Dirty bastard!

-There are mosquitoes here. -Don't move.

-He's right there! -Don't move!

-He's on your back. -Get him!

Dammit, he flew off.

Let's rustle up something nice.

What do we have here?

Isn't this place great?

Should pickles be blue? Shouldn't we eat out?

Did life in India turn you into a sissy?

OK. Let's go to a restaurant.

He had a pretty bad season!

His only action involved two cows and a donkey.

How about you pull a glass of beer?

-Hello. -Hello.

Do you have a table for two?

-For two? -Yeah.

There's a nice little table over there.

Thank you.

Please act as if I were just anybody. Business as usual.

And I want to pay for the meal.

OK, I'll try to remember that.

Guys! This guy wants to pay for his meal!

It's true.

I'll have a Calvados. And pay for it!

They're funny guys.

Rural humor. A story about a water hen.

-And a beaver. -What's the punch line?

You have to a local to get it.

-I'm thirsty. -Some wine?

-A lot of wine. -A bottle of wine, please.

Dammit, it's empty! Another bottle, please.

-Very nice. -Magnificent.

A little Calvados? This one's on me.

-Got it? -That's nice of you.

You've got a nice voice.

Human sandwich!

-Sure you're OK to drive? -Of course I'm OK to drive.

-Careful of the step. -No problem. Excuse me.

-Sure you're OK to drive? -Where's the steering wheel?

-Who are you? -Mr Ourrrrhhhhheggggbbbllg.

OK then.

There's no more Calvados.

Then we'll drink something else.

He's freaking me out.

There's sludge in it. What kind of booze is that?

-It's sludge booze... -Dammit!

I can't do it. We shouldn't....No.

You shouldn't eat that.

That's not good.

Don't drink that.

Did you sleep well?

No. What did we do last night?

Don't you remember?

-I remember nothing. -Nothing at all?

I remember the ravioli.

Don't you want to go back to Paris?

It's beautiful here. We'll just...

You're right. It's boring here. Let's go back to Paris.

Take a shower and then we'll go.

-Cut it out, guys, please. -We're just doing our job.

If I give you a scoop, will you leave?

We're all ears.

Pierre Palmade is in Saint-Paul de Vence

with the Bogdanov brothers.

You won't publish any shots of me!

Sorry. We've already sent the shots of you and your boyfriend.

My boyfriend.

-Are we ready? -Yeah.

I'm thirsty.

Shit! That burns!

LUKA AND HIS LUMBERJACK LOVER

CHEATING ON HER WITH A MAN

LUKA IS CHEATING ON HIS PREGNANT WIFE WITH A MAN

I had 48 hours left to play the role of a nobody.

Then Thomas would return to India.

And I would play the Olympia.

Dammit!

-Hello. -How are you?

Did the boys have a nice time?

You wouldn't believe what we got up to!

-Maybe I would... -What did you do to my car?

That was your fault. You called while I was driving.

-It's been fixed. Good as new. -The door is orange!

The paint is new.

Excuse me. Do you have a toilet with a door?

That's because of the renovations.

There's another one down the corridor.

-Where is the door? -It's because of your gold disk.

I couldn't find the pliers so I hid the door in your office.

And I locked the office.

What's up with you? What's that look about?

Nothing.

I thought we were friends. You can tell me anything.

I can't give you what you want.

-What are you talking about? -Don't lie to me!

Luka and his lumberjack lover.

Caught red-handed. I've had doubts for a while now.

About what exactly?

Actors have highly developed observation skills.

Like a vulture. It must be difficult for Marion.

What about Marion?

It must be hard. Even more so because she's pregnant.

-Who is pregnant? -Ummm... His mother.

Fancy a beer, Thomas? Or maybe a herbal tea?

I'd like a beer.

Where will we go tonight? Drinks are on me.

Everything's closed.

Senso is open on Wednesday evenings.

Sounds good to me.

It's a straight bar.

Wouldn't you prefer to stay in and play music

or watch some TV? "Bad Santa" on M6.

I've heard it's pretty good. I've never seen it.

-You've seen it 20 times! -No, I've never seen it.

Don't tell me you've never seen "Bad Santa."

-I've never seen it. -Everyone's seen "Bad Santa."

-Even in China. -India. I saw it in France.

Maybe I'm the only person who hasn't seen it.

-You've seen it on DVD. -I haven't.

We have the DVD! Liar! Dumbo!

I'll record it for you. Have a good night, boys.

-Come with us. -I wouldn't want to intrude.

I have a date with Géraldine. A woman.

She wants to perfect her mime. So she asked me to coach her.

We'll never get in. Look how I'm dressed.

-You're right. Let's go home. -Luka!

Some chick is calling you.

-He must have mistaken me... -Do you come here often?

-No. I don't... -Hello, Luka.

Hello.

That's never happened to me.

-Things have changed in France. -No kidding.

-It's on the house. -There's been a lot of change.

Seen all the chicks checking you out?

-It's as if I didn't even exist. -I'm not bad looking.

-I guess so... -But I'm not...

Hello.

My friend is from India.

-A very mysterious country. -You're from India.

-I've lived there for 10 years. -You're lucky. I love sushi.

Yeah, they make great sushi. Where are you from?

I'm German.

Are you from Bone?

Luka!

Pierre!

-No longer on vacation? -No. I had to cut it short.

The paparazzi were everywhere!

Igor couldn't care less, but Grishka was so angry!

If I find out who ratted me out...

The Vojkovic are on the case.

The Yugoslavians. They'll find out.

-Yugoslavians? -Excuse me. Kevin!

Lucas.

-How do you know Palmade? -It's because of...

He often takes the bus. He never takes the metro.

Funny, isn't it?

He says it helps his creativity.

-We became friends. -Are you mocking me?

-Palmade doesn't take the bus! -He does. The 42. Excuse me.

Feeling better?

Sure. I'm lots better. How are you?

-You want to know if I'm OK? -Yeah.

-If I'm OK? -Yeah.

Listen, sweetie. How could I be OK?

You didn't turn up for rehearsals. No new songs either.

And you're chopping wood with some guy.

Not that it bothers me. It widens your appeal.

And it's good that you've come to terms with it.

But let me remind you of something.

You're playing the Olympia on Friday!

Olympia! Bruno Coquatrix! Jacques Brel!

Edith Piaf! La Vie en rose!

Rehearsal tomorrow at 11 AM.

OK?

See you tomorrow at 11.

So, you're Luka's friend?

We were in a band together. Do you see him often?

Yes, I do. I'm a huge fan. He has style.

He'll go very far.

You're talking about his career?

Yeah. He's been very successful.

You can tell it's his calling.

Thomas, let's go.

I have to work tomorrow. See you soon on the 42.

OK. I can make it. Nice to meet you.

Bye.

What were you saying?

Lucas. What's your real job?

You know all about my job.

I'm a ticket inspector for the RATP.

-Sure. -Yeah.

Know what? I'll go with you tomorrow.

Great. That's a great idea.

-But I'll be leaving early. -Not a problem.

OK. We'll go together tomorrow. We'll be a team.

Both of us. It will be great. Or we could go to the movies?

No.

Hands off my body! Hands off!

Hands off my body!

-Where is the office key? -What?

The office key. You locked it when you hid the toilet door?

Where is the key?

-I slipped it under the door. -The office door?

You locked the door and slipped the key under the door?

-Yes. -You're too much sometimes!

Too much!

What?

-What do you want? -Shush!

-Do you want to mime? -A clean slate...

-The door. -The door. Bernard Laporte?

-I'll rip you apart! -You want to open the door?

-What else! -Why not tell me!

Why do you think we're here?

If you can't mime properly, then use your words.

-I'm off. -Spare me the drama.

I'll reenact the scene from "Star Wars" where he breaks

-the ship. Like that. -Keep it down!

You need to kick with your heel. I'll go get a beer.

Shit!

Bastard!

Let's get to work. I'll check some tickets.

Because I'm a ticket inspector. Hello. Tickets please.

-That's Luka. -Thank you.

-You're Luka, the singer. -Yes, I am.

This is for "Job Swap." Is there a hidden camera?

Yeah, there's a camera in my bag.

-Can I kiss you? -No.

That's the new programme of improved public relations.

-Kisses for all passengers. -That's it.

-Have a nice trip. -Hello.

Bibou. We're at the Olympia, but I don't know where you are.

If you want to screw up your career, that's your choice.

I don't care. What about what I want!

Where are you, fag?

What the hell is that?

It's sticky!

I think I'll have a look around Fnac.

-Don't go to Fnac! -Isn't it the best CD store?

No, Fnac isn't the best. It's not a good place.

-I'll check out the computers. -That's a great idea!

-Wanna come with me? -No. I'll just wander around.

OK.

-Got a Fnac card? -No.

That's a pity. EUR 3,657.60, please.

-Hello, Geraldine. -Hello.

You have a nice home.

Let's begin straightaway. House tour workshop.

Oh shit!

Don't stand there! This is adult business.

Go away.

Everything OK?

Don't you have to be in Étretat tomorrow?

Yeah. And I have a flight at 7 PM. It'll be a busy day.

Let's go to Étretat tonight, cook seafood and stay over.

-Go on. I'm listening. -Then I'll drive you to Roissy.

Great!

I'll ask Francis for his Mercedes.

I'm sure he'll say yes.

No sounds. This is mime, Geraldine.

Hey, Lucas. This is my student, Geraldine.

We're doing a "Jungle Book" workshop. She's Baloo.

The Mercedes key, please.

What for? Where are you going?

-Étretat. -To the seaside. You and Thomas.

-Chabadabada. -What's that supposed to mean?

You never take me on trips to the seaside.

I guess I'd have to sleep with you.

I'm just driving Thomas there.

-He has to sign legal papers. -Don't get angry.

You are both consenting adults.

Don't look at her. Don't maintain eye contact!

Stay calm.

She's likes your belt. She likes shiny things.

-Hi Thomas. -Hi, Francis.

-Have a nice weekend. -Thank you for the Mercedes.

Don't forget to fill the gas tank.

I can't pay for everything.

He's right. You take advantage of him.

It's nice to get away from Francis' house.

Who would decorate their house that way?

No. I think it's elegant.

-But not in a showy way. -Come on!

It's the home of a guy who made a lot of money very quickly.

-Don't you think so? -No. It's not India.

No orange paint. No statues of Vishnu.

-Don't get angry. -I'm not getting angry!

I know when I'm angry. I'm not angry now!

Francis' place is very well decorated!

See? You're getting angry.

Somewhat.

-Must be fun to be a seagull. -Perhaps. I don't really care.

-I've been wondering... -What?

Why did you give up on music? It was your life.

Life... comes and goes. And you need to eat.

Look, I'll be getting a pretty big inheritance.

Take a year off. I'll produce your new album.

-You're kind, but I can't. -That's what friends do.

The best thing would be for me to stay and take care of you.

-You're staying? -What do you say?

It was the only way out.

And no one had seen me, except for the seagulls.

And gulls aren't snitches.

Are you all right?

No, I'm not. Probably the oysters.

I'm heading back to the hotel.

Magical...

This is magical, Géraldine.

No one's ever imitated a frog as well as you.

Thomas, I've lied to everyone. To you, to my fans...

I'm giving you all I have. I'm going back to the RATP.

I hope that, some day, you can forgive me.

Francis? This is Lucas.

Call Alexandra. Tell her to cancel the Olympia.

I don't dare call her myself.

And my phone's dead. I'll explain later.

I'll go get us some pastries.

Go back to sleep, my little tree frog.

Luka! I was thinking of you!

You want to come back?

Whenever you like. You're on unpaid leave anyway.

All right, see you later.

Thanks. Goodbye.

My love? I'm home.

-Who are you? -His wife.

His stupid wife who was supposed to come back tomorrow.

I didn't know he was married. I only did the frog.

Sign here. "Definite resumption of contract."

-I don't understand why... -Some day, I'll tell you.

You're back on line 42. Have a good day.

-The ambulance is on its way. -Sweetie, I'm back!

Morning.

She's my best friend's wife. I barely know this woman.

-Yes, Lucas, this is Francis! -Turn it off, I can't hear!

Luka, it's Francis, call me back as it's a bit urgent...

Very...

It's true, it's annoying. It buzzed in my ear.

A musical on seafood? I'm not enthusiastic about the theme.

Come in, it's open! I'll call you back.

-Hey, stranger! -How are you?

-Just fine. -It's been a while.

-You want your job back as well? -No, I'm looking for Lucas.

Why? Did you break up?

What's this?

-Between former colleagues, too. -What's this nonsense?

-Your Lucas is on the 42 bus. -42? Gotta go. Thanks.

Ciao.

No!

Watch out! I hurt my ass. I mean neck!

Tickets, please. Thank you.

Lucas?

Pasquier told me you were here.

I'm speechless and shameful. Let me do my job.

So you're a star? That's great!

I don't want to talk about it again.

Are you nuts? Why didn't you tell me? It's fantastic!

Tickets, please.

Are you afraid I'll ask you for money?

Or to hire me as a bass player?

-No... But stealing songs... -Stealing what?

-Songs from your blue notebook. -What blue pad?

Here, take it back. Tickets, please.

This isn't my handwriting. It's Mr. Glue's.

-I don't write like that. -Mr. Glue's?

Lucas, Pasquier's trying to get a hold of you.

Your wife gave birth.

-You have a wife? -Well, yes...

-And a baby, too. -"A baby"?

-I have something to tell you! -Where's Marion?

Room 307. See? I didn't lie, this is Marion's husband!

-Mimes never lie. -Yes, my baby. Pouting already?

Amazing, huh?

I'll lay her down there.

-Like this? -Yes.

-I must confess something. -Francis told me about the girl.

-Who? -Géraldine, the frog.

-"The frog"? -What's with the uniform?

Oh, that... It's complicated. It's about my songs.

-What? -I didn't write them.

I should have told you the first night,

but I didn't dare. And I was afraid of losing you.

So? I don't love you for your songs.

Besides, I don't like them all.

I don't know about songs, but you're gifted at making babies.

Isn't our daughter beautiful?

-Lucas? Someone's... -Francis?

-Come in. -Lucas...

I really have something to tell you.

Remember me? It's been a while.

-Congrats! -Thanks.

-See how pretty my daughter is? -Too cute!

She's very red though.

-She's not! -She is.

I didn't tell Alexandra about the Olympia.

-You didn't cancel? -No.

-I don't care. -You're on tonight?

-It's a great venue. -Yes, but no.

Are you insane? Canceling this?

I don't know whose songs these are.

-They're Glue's. Ask his folks. -Whatever, my decision's made.

-Excuse me... -When I make a decision...

-Excuse me... -Wanna go see the Champenards?

Excuse me! Sorry, but I gave birth 2 hours ago...

And we'd like to get some rest.

Of course. Sorry. I'll come back later.

-Go wait outside. -She's very red...

-Need anything, darling? -Yes. Go sing at the Olympia.

All right. I'll do it for you.

And for her, too.

And change clothes!

Yes, they're Sébastien's songs.

I've been singing his songs for a year.

I need your permission to keep singing them.

Of course, you have it. He'd have been so happy!

I'll register them in his name. You'll get all the royalties.

It's not about money.

Could you sing one for us?

Can I show you something?

I called the police, hospitals, the forensic medicine institute.

And now, bus depots?

Here, this is what you get!

Thank you.

This is insane.

Why didn't Glue... I mean... Sébastien never sing these.

-He was a genius. -He was shy.

Sébastien didn't like his voice.

He had a nice voice, though.

Hey, guys. I've written a song. Wanna hear it?

-No, not now, we're working. -Same again, please.

-He had a nice voice, indeed. -Yup.

Here, take them. They're of no use to me.

Well... there. Now you have your next album.

I can't.

No, those notepads weren't mine.

I had made my decision. I had to follow my own path,

alone, without Glue's help.

Just in case.

-Good. -Let me give you a kiss!

All rightie then.

Ah, good! Where is your asshole friend?

-In Poissy. -What the hell for?

-I dunno. He went there first. -What time will he be here?

This is him.

Yes, Lucas? Alexandra's livid! And red, too. Not pretty...

Where are you, dumbass?

What the fuck's with you and Poissy?

What do I do now? Two thousand people are waiting!

We'll just tell them.

-What's that jerk doing? -Wait, he's great.

-Who are you? -I'll join the audience.

Good evening.

I'm not Luka.

Luka's in Poissy.

I'm Francis.

You may recognize my face...

I played in Jean Hurtis' "La Barrière"

at "Théatre National du Mans."

Hurry up!

-Tickets, please! -But...

Luka will be here soon.

Be nice to him. He's had a very tough day.

-Does your friend have an agent? -Why? You know one?

His wife thought he was cheating on her with my tree frog,

so her waters broke. A wrinkly little girl was born.

Like a morel.

-He's good. -Red like these curtains...

I think Luka's arrived.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...

Luka!

-Rip it up, man! -Thanks, pal.

Thank you, Francis.

Translation: Mary O'Connor TV5 Québec Canada