Original subtitles

So what do you think, Julie?

What I think is you're an absolute perv.

I cannot believe I fell for that line.

"Come on over. I�ll make you dinner.

We'll watch an award-winning movie."

B-BUT BUSTY COEDS WON BEST DOUBLE ANAL

At the adult awards this year.

Wow. I must really be out of the loop, then.

Ehh.

Rob.

I thought you were a nice guy.

I am, really.

No.

A nice guy would never show something like that

to a girl on a first date.

Well, I just figured it would put us in the mood.

You mean put me in the mood, don't you?

I, um...

Listen, the bulge in your pants

told me you wanted to jump my bones

From the second I walked in here.

No, no, no. But I like you, Julie,

Really, really like you.

Just, Tony said watching a hot flick like this

Would get you in the mood.

And you believed him?

Listen, that Tony has a real reputation for being a ladies' man,

But I would never give a loser like that the time of day,

And if you continue to listen to him,

You will never get a girl like me.

Where are you going?

To take you home, of course.

Don't bother. I�ll catch a cab.

Oh, and do me a favor.

Lose my number.

And don't bother approaching me

at work either. Understand?

Yeah.

Good.

And then she basically said,

you can't get a nice girl by showing her a flick like that.

Funny. Always worked for me.

Well, not in my house, mister.

So it didn't go as planned.

Forget about her, and move on.

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

But i don't want any other fish.

I want Julie, and now it's gonna be next to impossible

to get her back, 'cause she thinks I�m a complete perv.

Like I said, put her out of your mind.

I can't.

Course you can.

You know how many beautiful, sexy girls

you haven't seen yet?

Are you even aware

of the gaggle of hotties that work

right here at the spa every damn day?

But I�m not interested in them.

Besides, I�m way too shy to go up and talk to them.

I mean, look how long it took me to ask Julie out.

Yeah, you are socially challenged.

Thanks, pal.

Look, if all else fails,

I got an idea you might try thinking about.

What's that?

HYPNOTIKA.

Hypno-what?

Hypnotika.

Haven't you seen the TV ads?

I guess I�ve been watching the wrong commercials.

What's hypno...

Hypnotika.

Well, according to what I�ve read about,

It's a place that actually implants your wildest fantasies

right into your brain,

as if they really happened.

Oh, come on.

That's bull.

I swear it's true.

They can do just about anything these days.

You just tell 'em what you want to happen,

and they stick it into your brain

Like it's completely real.

You can have Julie

and any other girl you want.

And it's called hypno...

Hypnotika.

Hypnotika.

Ohh. I don't know.

What do you think?

I think it's up to you to decide.

Me, I gotta run.

Wait. Where are you going?

I got a little nooner planned with Amy.

Hoo. Heh.

I swear, Tony,

I don't know how you do it.

Stamina, my good friend, Stamina.

Remember what i said.

Hypnotika.

Hypnotika.

How's it going, babe?

Okay. Better, Now that you're here.

Ah, well, that's nice to know.

Uh, boss out to lunch?

Yeah. He's dining with his new wife.

I�d be surprised if they even came back at all.

I saw her the other day in the parking lot.

Quite the dish.

Yeah, she is. Heh. But don't get caught staring.

I heard he's really jealous.

Ah, well, thanks for the heads-up.

Oh, hey, have you heard from your friend Rob?

He's okay, i guess.

Huh. Well, that's not what I heard.

Julie told me a little different This morning at coffee.

Oh, really? Mm-hmm.

How so?

Well, supposedly he tried to get her in the mood last night

By putting on an erotic movie.

No kidding? I can't believe anybody would stoop that low.

Right? Believe it.

What a douche bag.

I mean, you'd never do that, would you, baby?

Absolutely not.

Good.

Come here, babe.

Hey, i want to show you something.

Okay.

And we'll be right back after this.

Are you tired of spending the weekend in solitary confinement?

Is the last call just an excuse for you to go home alone?

Are you tired of being rejected

by the prettiest people

because you're shy and introverted?

Well, now you can have the time of your life

with the hotties of your choice

and even wake up without a hangover.

That's right. Let hypnotika

give you the sex life you've always desired

without any of the hassle.

say goodbye to horrible blind dates,

stagnant relationships and commitments of any kind.

Say hello to the hottest lovers you've ever dreamed of.

It's all waiting for you here at hypnotika.

I�m gonna do it!

Excuse me. Is this, uh...

Hypnotika.

Yes, you're in the right place.

Hi. My name is Rob. Rob Pietrov, yes.

We've already worked up some preliminary stats

in your file since you called this morning.

Wow. That was fast.

Yes. We strive to give our clients

the best possible service.

We want to make sure that your experience with us

is the most enjoyable ever.

Great. Now if you'll just have a seat,

Dr. Manners will be with you in a moment.

Well, Mr. Pietrov,

I see by your file here

that you're interested in fulfilling a fantasy

with one particular girl, a Julie Clark.

Is that gonna be a problem?

oh, no, not at all.

Here at hypnotika, we pride ourselves

in providing the most engaging

reality-based sexual memories available.

Believe me, you'll experience it

as though it's actually happening.

So not like a dream, then?

Not like a dream at all.

It will be happening all around you.

You'll feel it, see it, hear it

as though it is real and hard-edged.

Heh. It's so difficult to comprehend.

You know, Mr. Pietrov,

I was a lot like you in my younger days.

I was consumed with academics.

I had no social training.

I didn't know how to meet women.

After I became a practicing physician

I went through a series of pricy and disastrous relationships,

And then I got married and had half my life

taken away by a bitter divorce.

Really? Why?

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, Mr. Pietrov, out of my despair,

I created hypnotika,

a mind-altering technique

that removes all of the troubles from relationships.

No more expensive dates that end with just a peck on the cheek.

No more whining and crying over forgotten anniversaries or birthdays.

No cheating, no pregnancies,

and most importantly,

no more wondering if you're gonna get to first base,

because now every encounter is guaranteed

to be a home run.

How can you beat that?

When do we start?

Right now.

Yes, doctor?

Dr. Barnes, I�m going to bring in our next client.

Perfect. We're expecting him.

Dr. Barnes, I�d like you to meet Robert Pietrov.

Oh, yes. I was just going over your file, sir.

I�ve think we've got everything you want squared away.

Great.

So if you'd just have a seat over here,

we'll get started immediately.

Certainly.

Mr. Pietrov, you have a wonderful day.

I look forward to hearing all about your adventures.

Thanks, doc.

So, Mr. Pietrov,

Before we begin, I just have

a few final questions to ask.

Shoot.

Well, actually, that will be your job.

Heh, heh. Just give it a few moments.

Funny.

What would you like to know?

Now, regarding your girl Julie,

Would you like any enhancements?

What do you mean?

You know, bigger boobs,

rounder ass,

Wider� -No, no, no, no, no.

Julie's just perfect for me Just the way she is.

Fine. Then what about yourself?

Myself? What do you mean?

Well, some of our male clients

sometimes request

a larger private area, shall I say.

if you catch my drift.

You could actually do that?

Not a problem at all. What would you like?

Mmm. Okay.

I want to be two inches bigger.

Two inches it is.

Got it. -No, wait. Wait.

Four. Make it four.

Oh, gosh. I can hear Julie screaming now.

So when do we get started?

Well, your credit card has cleared,

So it may have already begun.

Really?

Really.

Doctor, doctor, we have an emergency.

What is it, Ms. Fremont?

Well, nothing really, I guess.

It's just that I�m having these sudden cold flashes.

Cold flashes. Oh, my.

A surefire cure for cold flashes Is a hot shower.

Let me assist you.

Well, are you going to do us or not?

Yes, Rob, come join us.

Wow. I am loving this.

Mmm.

So are we. So are we.

Hey, Ame. Oh, hey, Rob.

How are you?

Better than I�ve been in a long time.

What you doing?

Just waiting for candy to get her bikini on.

Got about 30 minutes before our next client gets here,

so thought we'd take a little swim.

Sounds like fun.

Why don't you join us?

I�d love to.

Hey, guys. -Hey, Candy.

Wow. You're looking hot.

So do you.

I don't know why, -But you do.

Thanks, I think.

So why don't you put on

Your swim trunks and come in with us?

I�d love to, But I�m not wearing any.

That's okay. You'd probably have more fun without 'em.

Hold it right there.

Don't let this guy sway you, ladies.

He's nothing but a horn-dog.

Give him the slightest opening,

and you'll regret it forever.

But, Julie,

you're supposed to...

Supposed to what, forgive you

for last night's seduction scenario?

I won't forget about that

for a long time coming.

Why don't you just get lost?

Get lost?

Yeah, you heard me.

Take a hike. Beat it.

Hit the road, Jack.

You're out of here.

Don't you think you were a bit hard on him, Julie?

Yeah, we were about to have fun with him

until you came up and broke up the action.

Don't sweat the small stuff, ladies.

I smell a menage a trois coming.

Whoo!

POWER OF THE PUSSY

Hello.

Hello?

Anybody here?

Where is everyone?

Hello?

There is absolutely no need To shout, Mr. Pietrov.

I heard you.

The office closes early on fridays.

That's all.

Well, i came right back,

Because it's not working.

What's not working?

Your hypnotika stuff.

It didn't even faze Julie.

She still sent me packing.

That's strange.

Has it been working with other women?

I think so, but not with the woman that I want.

Odd, very odd.

Look. Dr. Manners promised me

everything would work out fine.

Is he here? Because I need to talk to him.

Unfortunately, he's already Left for the day,

but I suspect this may be a small glitch in the system.

So if you just come with me, I�ll see what I can do for you.

Uh, a small glitch?

No, doc. It's a huge glitch.

If I don't get Julie, I want my money back.

Let's not be hasty now, Mr. Pietrov.

Please, call me Rob.

After what we had earlier today,

I think we're on a first-name basis.

Heh. You might be right about that.

Okay, then, Rob.

So follow me, please.

From what i can see On your E.E.G.,

there was a light flux on the left side of your pelvis

that caused Julie to react negatively,

but i think we can alter the situation

with a little light stimulation.

uh, light stimulation?

Something like this.

Well...

Did it work?

Kind of.

How so?

Please describe.

Well, I mean, at times, I was with Julie,

but then it kept reverting back to you.

And your feelings on the matter?

Hey, no disrespect, doc.

I mean, you're hotter Than the fourth of july,

But when I was with Julie, I was ecstatic.

I mean, I could hardly contain myself.

No offense taken.

I completely understand.

You're in love with her, and that's painfully obvious.

Now, the good thing is,

it appears we have the situation

partially under control.

So what's next?

You going to work tomorrow

as if nothing ever happened.

But go in late.

Why?

That'll give me some time

to send in my assistant at first light.

She can wander around and troubleshoot the situation.

Forgive my ignorance, doc,

But isn't this one big part of my hallucination?

I mean, aren't i laying on the table right there

with my eyes shut right now?

How are you gonna send your lovely assistant

Into my dream world?

Don't worry, Rob.

We have our ways.

I suppose you do.

Listen, have a restful night's sleep,

give me a call tomorrow,

and let me know how things are going.

And you tell that doc to have my refund check standing by.

get out of here, Rob.

Be good.

Oh.

Can I help you, miss?

Oh, um, hi.

Yeah.

I was just, um, exploring the grounds.

Um, I�m thinking about coming here for a massage and facial.

Really?

Yeah. Great.

You do know

that you're beeping, don't you?

Oh, that's my pager.

Someone really needs to get ahold of you, huh?

Yeah. It's, uh, my dog-sitter.

Little bitch hates it when I leave her alone.

Does she like it when you call her that?

Oh. Oh, no, no.

I didn't mean my dog-sitter.

No, my little pekingese, Fifi,

She is so spoiled.

Oh. I get it.

Well, if you wanted to get a workout on the facial,

perhaps i may be of service.

Hmm.

I think you can.

Yes!

Heh. There he is.

Should we do it?

Yeah, we should totally do it.

Oh, okay.

Come on.

Ohh.

Rob, we're so sorry about yesterday.

Yeah. It's just that Julie is such a bad influence.

We didn't mean to make you mad at us.

Yeah. Please forgive us.

Hmm, I don't know.

Pretty please?

Well, there's one way to apologize

that's always worked for me.

What's that?

Let me show you.

Ooh, yeah.

Oh, you devil, you.

Oh, there you are, Mr. Pietrov.

Like I told your doctor friend before, call me Rob.

Okay, Rob.

So any luck with Juliet?

No, not yet,

But things are definitely on the upswing.

Oh, yeah? How so?

Well, I made out with two of my co-workers,

and occasionally they turned into Julie,

so i guess that's progress.

That sounds promising.

I suppose, but the reason I came to hypnotika

was to spend more quality time with the girl of my dreams,

and, so far, that hasn't happened.

Well, maybe it will with this.

What's that?

Dr. Manners calls it the beta disintegrator.

Sounds a little kitschy.

Oh, believe me, Rob,

This right here is a very powerful device.

It allows us to alter a dream already in progress

if it's not going well.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

I can't get over the fact

that this isn't actually happening.

I mean, I can feel this.

I can feel that.

Even my nose is running from my allergies.

I mean, that's not supposed to happen in your hallucination.

Believe me, Rob, if this was real.

Do you think I could do this?

Oh, my god.

Give me one minute.

What? -What?

Hey, what happened?

Where did Julie go?

And what was with This force field?

And where's tiffany and the others?

Relax, Rob. You need to calm down.

No, I don't want to calm down.

You promised me the love of my life,

and so far, all I�ve gotten was frustration.

What? The sex with the others was no good?

Yeah, it was fine, but i paid for the cow,

and so far, all I�ve gotten was several quarts of milk.

When do you deliver the real thing?

You've got to be patient

for just a little while longer.

No, no, no. I don't want to be patient.

Either you deliver me Julie,

or you wake me up and give me my money back, understand?

At least give me another hour.

If I can't deliver you Julie by then,

then I�ll do everything you say, plus I�ll get you a full refund.

Come on, Rob. 60 minutes.

Have we got a deal?

Okay, deal.

But no more extensions.

No more extensions, I promise.

Hey, buddy. Why the long face?

Does it really show that bad? -Kind of.

Well, remember that conversation we had the other day?

We have 10 a day. -Which one?

The one about hypnotika?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. -Did you go?

Yup. -And?

Well, I�m in a fantasy, and you're a part of it.

No kidding?

Only, it's not going the way I planned.

What's wrong?

I�ll tell you what's wrong. No Julie.

I�ve nailed every other babe in sight,

and Julie still won't give me the time of day.

So what?

I�d kill to nail all those broads.

But, Tony, you are nailing all those other broads

and a lot more that I probably don't know about.

I mean, all I wanted was more time with Julie.

I went down there, and i gave them an hour

to either come through or wake me the hell up.

How much time you got left?

About 35 minutes. -Great.

That's just enough time to have a little fun.

Fun? I don't get it.

Anyone home?

Hello?

Customer.

Anyone?

Oh, hi, Tony. What are you doing here?

I came down here to talk about Rob.

Oh, let me assure you Dr. Barnes and I

are working very hard on that problem.

I know, but I think you've made his life

even more confused and frustrated than before.

You gotta pull back.

Let him off the string

before something really bad happens.

Are you sure?

Yeah. He's about to snap.

And I kinda feel like it's my fault,

because I brought him down here.

Hello.

Hi. Tiffany,

I need you to come down

to the client lounge right now.

Yes, Dr. Barnes. I�ll be right there.

Thank you.

Why don't you come down with me

and talk to Dr. Barnes about this issue?

Tell her what you told me.

Okay.

And that's it.

The last time I saw him,

I kept him calm by sending him over

to jump the boss' new wife.

And how did that go?

Well, if it was my fantasy,

I probably would have loved every minute of it.

But knowing Rob like I do, who can tell?

If he doesn't get into Julie's pants soon,

the guy's gonna fall to pieces.

I understand completely.

In fact, we've been working on the problem all day.

And we think we may have found a viable solution.

Really? Care to elaborate?

Well, it's a brand-new codec

That we've just now installed into the brain-wave computer.

It makes anyone within the dream radius

susceptible to instant seduction.

You think it'll work?

We were actually just about

to test it out when you came in.

Well, let's do it.

Here goes nothing.

Go for it.

Robert.

Robert, I�m here.

Julie?

I can't believe it.

You're here?

In the flesh.

But i thought you hated me.

Quite the contrary.

I love you.

I�ve loved you since the first day

you came to work at the spa two years ago.

Really?

No kidding?

Truth.

But like you, I was just too shy and withdrawn

to reveal my true, innermost feelings.

Heh.

My gosh.

Come.

Let us finally be together.

I�ll be damned.

I can't believe it.

My dream turned out better than I planned.

Your dream?

I was going to hypnotika long before you.

This is my dream.

What?

Well, doctor, how's our most recent client doing?

Quite well, actually.

She's coming along rather nicely.

I think she finally got her man.

Good. Very good.