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00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,937
Please put your hands
together for Emily Butler,
2
00:00:02,939 --> 00:00:08,398
Author of soon best-seller
"My Shit Husband".
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,799
And you still haven't told Greg?
4
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,239
She does not think you're shit.
5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,999
She wrote a book about me
called My Shit Husband.
6
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:18,359
I took the liberty of sending
your manuscript to Reese Witherspoon,
7
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,999
and she wants to option
the rights for $20,000.
8
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,840
- That's amazing!
- That is amazing.
9
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,390
10
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,279
So because I'm in that position,
11
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,519
we're calling it the Spanish rickshaw.
12
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,559
- Oh!
- (LAUGHS)
13
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,119
Best orgasm I've had this
financial year.
14
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,120
- Ohh.
- Yeah.
15
00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:41,159
Oh, I keep meaning to ask, what's
the latest from Reese Witherspoon
16
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,559
about adapting your book?
17
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:43,959
Um, my book.
18
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,959
Well, um, well, as far as I know
the wheels are still in motion.
19
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,879
But then again Reese is super busy
and these kinds of projects,
20
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,280
they can take years
to get off the ground.
21
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:57,379
Plus it's, um...
22
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:58,940
It's a competitive market and...
23
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,980
...so much brilliant material out there.
24
00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:10,460
Well, at least the podcast's
kicking goals.
25
00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:13,259
Yeah.
26
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:15,299
So if you're a shit husband like me...
27
00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:16,619
Loud and proud.
28
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:19,739
...send us an email at the
My Shit Husband podcast
29
00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:22,139
and tell us about your epic fails,
30
00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:24,499
especially if you're living overseas.
31
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:27,459
Oh, yes, and here's a big shout out
to Fish Guts Bob and Friends
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00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,539
- from Louisiana.
- Hoho!
33
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:33,099
Fish Guts Bob from Lou-eeeeee-siana!
(LAUGHS)
34
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:34,100
Believable.
35
00:01:34,101 --> 00:01:36,419
We've done something
that Barnesy couldn't.
36
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:38,499
- What's that?
- We cracked the US market.
37
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,699
(LAUGHS) Yee-haw!
38
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,500
Sweet!
39
00:01:44,180 --> 00:01:46,219
RAVI: You know I could fill out
the form for you if you'd like.
40
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:49,299
My mother says that reading my
cursive writing is like a warm hug.
41
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,059
A form? What's the form?
42
00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:54,379
Lindsay wants me
to get a job with her at the cinema.
43
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,739
So I just have to fill this form out
44
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,019
and hand it in tomorrow
to some guy called Zane.
45
00:01:58,020 --> 00:01:59,820
GREG: Fire!
46
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:04,139
I should have said this sweet merch
is on fire.
47
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,819
It arrived!
48
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,659
The My Shit Husband podcast merch.
49
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:08,660
Wow.
50
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:10,739
Ravi, on the house, buddy.
51
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:14,259
It's so crazy how the host of my
favourite podcast happens to be
52
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:16,379
the father of my girlfriend.
53
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,939
Like, what are the odds?
54
00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:20,059
If you wear that, you are so dumped.
55
00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,579
And we got a new sponsor.
56
00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:23,580
Intensity. In-Tent-City.
57
00:02:23,581 --> 00:02:25,979
They do tents and their jingle
is so contagious.
58
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,099
Wow.
59
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:30,019
Yay. Do you have hats for turtles?
60
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:32,900
Not hats for turtles but we do have...
61
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:35,739
...coffee mugs for little girls.
62
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:38,059
- Thanks, Dad. You're the best.
- Stop it.
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00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:41,939
Em, I cannot believe that I tried to
stop you publishing your book.
64
00:02:41,940 --> 00:02:43,859
I mean, look what it spawned.
65
00:02:43,860 --> 00:02:45,859
It's a My Shit Husband empire!
66
00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:46,860
I know, it's like...
67
00:02:47,940 --> 00:02:49,139
...wow!
68
00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:50,620
Think quick.
69
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:10,779
GREG: YOU pack the dishwasher the way
YOU want when you pack it, yeah,
70
00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:13,739
and I'll pack it the way I want it
when I pack it.
71
00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:16,100
- TERRY: Don't crack it when we pack it.
- That's it.
72
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,899
- (SINGS ALONG)
- ? If camping's your propensity ?
73
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:20,299
? Come talk to us ?
74
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,739
? In-Tent-City. ?
75
00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:24,379
(LAUGHS)
76
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:28,179
Chlo, here are your funny honey
sandwiches made with love.
77
00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:30,259
And of course, honey and bread.
78
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:31,340
Thanks, Dad.
79
00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:35,739
Here is your bag.
80
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:37,420
You have the best day ever, OK?
81
00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:41,139
Go get 'em, Chloe Butler.
82
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:42,619
Shit husband. Yeah?
83
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:45,259
Oh, you've... you've read the book.
84
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:47,019
Nah, not the book.
Didn't know there was a book.
85
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,020
But I love the podcast.
86
00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:51,739
That thing you said about chips
being a vegetable, on the money!
87
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:52,740
(LAUGHS)
88
00:03:52,741 --> 00:03:54,139
- Wow.
- Yeah.
89
00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:56,219
That's awesome. Um...
90
00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:57,779
How would you like...
91
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:01,419
...a My Shit Husband T-shirt and hat?
92
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,459
Oh, seriously?
93
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:06,539
Thank you! I'll never take it off.
94
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:08,819
- Weddings, the beach, funerals...
- WOMAN: Hello.
95
00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:10,139
Oh, shit.
96
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:12,299
Excuse me, parents. Come on now.
97
00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:13,379
You know the rules.
98
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,419
Parents aren't allowed
to get out of their cars.
99
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:16,939
Brayden, I expected better from you.
100
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:17,940
Yeah, sorry, Luna.
101
00:04:17,941 --> 00:04:21,139
I was actually just explaining to
Greg about...
102
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:22,140
Bye.
103
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,979
- So you must be...
- Luna.
104
00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:26,980
Luna Keys.
105
00:04:26,981 --> 00:04:29,099
New president of the
Parents and Friends Committee.
106
00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,419
Nice to meet you, Luna Keys.
107
00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,659
I am... old parent Greg Butler.
108
00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:33,899
My kids are...
109
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,179
I know who you are, Greg Butler.
110
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,179
You really should be across
the new drop-off rule by now.
111
00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:38,699
It's been a week.
112
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,499
Yeah, I thought we're allowed
to get out of the car
113
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,019
but not go into the school?
114
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,419
The rules have changed.
115
00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:45,500
You would have received
an e-memo on PASH.
116
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:47,500
PASH?
117
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:48,939
The Parent and Student Hub?
118
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,939
The new online portal where we share
information about everything that
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00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:53,499
happens at the school.
120
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,419
I'm sorry,
my head's not quite across that.
121
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,539
Obviously I've had a fair bit
on my plate recently.
122
00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,939
Maybe if you spent more time on PASH
123
00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,739
and less time on needless
124
00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:05,779
and, dare I say,
inappropriate self-promotion,
125
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:08,299
we wouldn't be having this conversation.
126
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,659
I'm sorry?
127
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:11,459
Just because you're a shit husband,
Mr Butler,
128
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:14,019
doesn't mean you have to be
a shit parent.
129
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:15,819
(CAR TOOTS)
130
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:18,059
- Yep.
- Looks like they know the rules.
131
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,539
OK, sorry.
132
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,060
Right.
133
00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:24,939
Rise and shine.
134
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,739
Oh, my gosh. Emily!
135
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:28,419
What are you doing?
I have a student free day.
136
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:30,699
Yes, well, you're up now, Soph,
137
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,099
and I thought that I could help you
with your job interview.
138
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,179
Job interview?
139
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,259
Yeah.
140
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:36,459
You know, at the cinema.
141
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:37,939
With Zane.
142
00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:40,179
Mum, it's not a job interview.
143
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,739
It's just dropping off some form.
144
00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:43,939
And why aren't you at work?
145
00:05:43,940 --> 00:05:48,979
Um, I'm working from home today so
you can have my undivided attention.
146
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:50,179
Lucky me.
147
00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:52,539
No, Soph, I'm really glad you think so.
148
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:53,619
Whatever. You know...
149
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:57,539
I need a coffee before I can even deal.
150
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:58,540
You drink coffee?
151
00:05:58,541 --> 00:06:00,699
Oh, let me guess.
152
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,620
A double shot macchiato
with almond milk.
153
00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:06,180
Yep. Coffee it is.
154
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,819
Thanks for buying me
these new bedsheets, bro.
155
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:16,539
Oh, can't have you moving out
of my house without the proper linen.
156
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:17,819
Wouldn't feel right.
157
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:19,419
My new crib's gonna be the bomb.
158
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,219
Inner-city vibes, yo.
159
00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:23,659
New housemates, legit, fully lit.
160
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:25,859
Just waiting on Alessandro
to give me a call
161
00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:28,859
so I can pay the bond
and pick up the keys.
162
00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:29,860
Alright.
163
00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:33,859
Oh, damn it!
164
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,939
Forgot to give Chloe her sports bag.
165
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:37,859
Chill, bro. It's all good.
166
00:06:37,860 --> 00:06:38,860
No.
167
00:06:38,861 --> 00:06:41,059
We're gonna have to go back
to the school.
168
00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:43,740
And you probably need to
take off the hat.
169
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:47,179
(KIDS GIGGLE)
170
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:49,019
? If camping's your propensity ?
171
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:50,699
? Come talk to us ?
172
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:51,939
? In-Tent-City. ?
173
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,540
Such a bangin' jingle, dude.
174
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:55,700
Hang on a second.
175
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,939
Is that...?
176
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,940
- It is.
- What?
177
00:07:00,941 --> 00:07:02,219
That kid.
178
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,580
He's eating one of Chloe's
funny honey sandwiches.
179
00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:07,099
What's so funny about a sandwich?
180
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:08,619
Oh, is it the honey?
181
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:11,619
No, I wrote a joke on a post-it note
and I stick it on top.
182
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:12,620
Why does he have them?
183
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,939
Maybe Chloe didn't like your joke.
184
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:17,420
That's ridiculous. Chloe loves my
funny honey sandwiches.
185
00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:20,419
He must be a bully.
186
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:22,259
And he stole the sandwiches off Chloe.
187
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:23,859
Hey, whoa, whoa, Papa Bear.
188
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,819
You can't just pick a fight
with a bully.
189
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,139
Remember Leon Scalini?
190
00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:29,379
The school excursion to the zoo?
191
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:31,499
Got your Tiny Teddies
and he threw them into...
192
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,379
- Into the meerkat enclosure.
- Yes, I remember.
193
00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,379
- Yeah. And then he bashed ya.
- OK. OK.
194
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:37,299
Just...
195
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,939
You're right.
196
00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:42,459
Let's find Chloe first,
make sure she's OK.
197
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:44,819
- We'll worry about him later.
- Exactly.
198
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:46,819
So where do the cool cats
hang these days?
199
00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:48,020
Yeah.
200
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,259
Where did we hang?
201
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,019
Yes.
202
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,540
Just trying to think.
203
00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:57,540
There she is.
204
00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,820
What's she doing by herself?
205
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,979
Maybe she wet her pants.
206
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:05,500
It's happened to me
a couple of times at uni.
207
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,219
Hey, Chlo.
208
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:11,899
Dad, what are you doing here?
209
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:15,059
I was just passing by,
thought I'd pop in and hang.
210
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:18,060
Um, I don't think
the teachers like people doing that.
211
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,939
Oh, you forgot your sports bag.
212
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:22,300
Oh, thanks.
213
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:25,980
Um, Chlo...
214
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:32,619
I saw a boy over there
eating your lunch.
215
00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:33,900
Your funny honey sandwiches.
216
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:36,780
Is everything OK?
217
00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:43,299
Chloe, if that grade six boy is
bullying you, you can tell me that.
218
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:44,300
No.
219
00:08:44,301 --> 00:08:48,219
A crow took my lunch right
out of my hand and flew away.
220
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:51,659
Probably dropped the sandwich
and that kid must have picked it up
221
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:52,660
and eaten it.
222
00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,610
Do you really think
that's what's happened?
223
00:08:55,611 --> 00:08:58,180
Happens all the time.
That's how pandemics start.
224
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:05,059
If you're not being bullied, why
are you sitting here all by yourself?
225
00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:06,499
I'm not by myself.
226
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,500
Hannibal's here.
227
00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:17,539
I know you think that you're just
dropping off a form,
228
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:20,059
but you should be prepared.
229
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,219
I was born prepared.
230
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:22,459
OK, what's your favourite movie?
231
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:24,499
Zane isn't gonna ask me that.
232
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,939
But he might, and you need to have
an answer ready to go.
233
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,220
And if you really want to impress
you'll go with a classic.
234
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:32,180
Like Bridget Jones's Baby?
235
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:35,739
Or To Kill a Mockingbird.
236
00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:38,339
I know you had to read that
for school so you would have cheated
237
00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:40,059
and seen the movie.
238
00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:42,499
I don't actually need to know
anything, Emily.
239
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,979
Lindsay says all she does all day
is eat free Choc-Tops
240
00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:46,539
and watch free movies.
241
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:47,619
It's gonna be the best job ever.
242
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,620
Oh!
243
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:50,779
Mum!
244
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:52,979
Just remember, Sophie, the dream job,
245
00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:55,859
they don't always turn out to be
as dreamy as you hope.
246
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:56,860
Yeah, thanks.
247
00:09:56,861 --> 00:09:59,259
Let me know
when your TED Talk is online.
248
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:01,139
- Can I escape now?
- I'm meeting Ravi at the station.
249
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:02,779
Let me walk with you
and then we can drill into
250
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,939
the whole psychology
of a job interview on the way.
251
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,859
(PHONE BUZZES)
252
00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:07,860
Oh, it's your father.
253
00:10:07,861 --> 00:10:09,500
Just give me two minutes.
254
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,899
Hi, Greg.
255
00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,939
Hey, listen, I've got to be quick
because Sophie,
256
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:16,459
she's practically begging me
to help her with a job interview.
257
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:20,539
Hey, a bully just stole Chloe's
funny honey sandwiches.
258
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:21,859
That's awful.
259
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:25,019
Yeah. I found her playing
in a sandpit all by herself.
260
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,499
She was like Tom Hanks in Cast Away.
261
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,379
But instead of a volleyball
she had a turtle.
262
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,459
Was she upset?
263
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:32,699
Well, I mean, you know Chloe.
264
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:35,299
She's very good at hiding her emotions.
265
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,819
So she wasn't upset?
266
00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:38,260
No, but I'm upset.
267
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:41,899
Maybe I should go find this bully
and have a chat.
268
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:43,659
You know, man to man-child.
269
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:46,059
No, Greg, you really have to give
the girl some space
270
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:48,219
to work these things out for themselves.
271
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:51,459
So maybe it is time
to land your helicopter
272
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,499
- if you know what I'm saying.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
273
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,539
Greg, I've got to go.
Sophie's calling me.
274
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:57,899
Yeah, but Em, I just... (PHONE HANGS UP)
275
00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,580
Sophie!
276
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:05,259
Sophie!
277
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:07,339
I'll let you know how I do, Emily.
278
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:09,379
Come back and open this door!
279
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:10,779
Sophie!
280
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:13,139
Oh!
281
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,540
So? What did Em say?
282
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:20,019
Well, she said, "You're the man.
283
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:21,780
"Go sort this shit out."
284
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:25,700
Did she really say that?
285
00:11:34,140 --> 00:11:37,219
Hey, bro. Quick, get a selfie
with me and the school principal.
286
00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:39,219
No. No. No.
287
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,220
That's Luna.
288
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,139
That's the woman
I've been telling you about.
289
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:44,419
Luna,
with the mouth the size of Luna Park.
290
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,420
Huh.
291
00:11:45,421 --> 00:11:47,539
Probably why her parents
called her Luna.
292
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,339
Yeah, I doubt her parents
trolled her at birth.
293
00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:54,579
Mate, this is the woman who accused
ME of needless self-promotion.
294
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,460
She's practically a Kardashian.
295
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:59,379
Quick. Give me the pen.
296
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:00,539
What are you signing up for?
297
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:01,819
(LAUGHS) This'll be funny.
298
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:02,820
This'll be funny.
299
00:12:02,821 --> 00:12:05,939
- Greg! It's school property.
- (LAUGHS)
300
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,099
Someone's gonna see.
301
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,979
Oh, give me that.
302
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:10,419
Gotta do glasses.
303
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:11,539
(LAUGHS)
304
00:12:11,540 --> 00:12:14,819
- Glasses. Classic.
- (CHUCKLES)
305
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:16,339
Yes!
306
00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:18,179
Somebody needs a wax.
307
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,059
- Oh, make them bushy.
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
308
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:22,259
- Ooh, quick.
- Let's go.
309
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:24,379
- Greg!
- I've got to do the other eyebrow.
310
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,019
Come on!
311
00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:27,740
Let's go!
312
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,539
You think it's weird that they make
you physically hand in the form
313
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,459
instead of completing it online?
314
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,739
I dunno.
Maybe Zane wants to check me out.
315
00:12:42,740 --> 00:12:45,702
Oh, and I told Lindsay we'd meet
her later at Nando's to celebrate.
316
00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:47,419
- Can I help you?
- Oh, yeah, hi.
317
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:48,420
My name's Sophie Butler.
318
00:12:48,421 --> 00:12:50,859
I'm here to drop off
a new employee form to Zane.
319
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:52,619
Oh, so you're here for a job interview.
320
00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:54,219
Um...
321
00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:56,179
Are you... are you Zane?
322
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:59,459
I closer resemble a piece
of outdoor lounge furniture
323
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:01,619
than I do a Zane.
324
00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:03,539
I'm Brian, the manager.
325
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:04,899
Please follow.
326
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:05,900
Yeah.
327
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:11,299
Definitely has more of a Brian vibe.
328
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,579
Cinema is a language that
speaks about the future,
329
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:17,620
although the stories we tell
our from the past.
330
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:22,939
That's Pedro Almodovar.
331
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:23,940
Yeah.
332
00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:26,179
I mean, movies are pretty cool.
333
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,180
Yeah.
334
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,300
Why do you want to work here,
Sophie Butler?
335
00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:33,500
I mean, well,
besides the free Choc-Tops?
336
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:36,979
Oh, sorry. I...
337
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:38,860
Someone told me you get free Choc-Tops.
338
00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,060
Right.
339
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:45,620
Tell me, Sophie Butler,
what's your favourite film?
340
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:51,219
Oh, I mean, well, there have been
some good ones recently.
341
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:53,780
Anything with the Rock is pretty good.
342
00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:56,659
Right.
343
00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:58,379
Sophie, I'm not sure...
344
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,299
To Kill a Mockingbird.
345
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,499
Oh.
346
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,539
Oh, one of Mulligan's finest.
347
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:09,179
Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch,
attorney at law.
348
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:10,819
(CHUCKLES)
349
00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:12,899
Very good. Very good.
350
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,699
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
- Come on, darling.
351
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:19,219
Alessandro still hasn't
called me back about the house.
352
00:14:19,220 --> 00:14:20,979
Then again,
you know what backpackers are like.
353
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,419
Alessandro's a backpacker?
354
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,979
Yeah, they're all backpackers.
The whole household.
355
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:29,579
It's two Spaniards, an English dude,
South African, couple of Germans.
356
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:30,899
There he is. That's him.
357
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:33,499
I never forget that bully boy's face.
358
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,500
What...
359
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:38,739
What do we have here?
360
00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:41,660
Looks like the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.
361
00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:45,700
Greg, remember Leon Scalini
and the Tiny Teddies!
362
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,140
Greg! What if you get bashed again?
363
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:57,139
Looks like it's your turn
to be the sh...
364
00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,299
...stupid parent.
365
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:00,939
Excuse me?
366
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:03,099
Ignoring the fact that
you got out of the car.
367
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,619
That's only the rule for drop-off.
368
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,819
You might want to teach your kid
that stealing lunches
369
00:15:06,820 --> 00:15:09,179
is not a nice thing to do.
370
00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:11,299
You know what they say.
371
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,700
Kids learn this stuff at home.
372
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:24,019
OK, moonwalk aside, that was
the coolest thing I've ever seen.
373
00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,699
You totally burnt Lunatic.
374
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:28,099
Hey, please don't tell her
I called her Lunatic.
375
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,859
If that gets back,
they could rough me up pretty badly.
376
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:33,500
But... I'm with you all the way.
377
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,699
Dad!
378
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,259
Ah. Chlo.
379
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:41,899
Where'd you come from?
380
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,739
School.
381
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,579
- Of course.
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
382
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:47,340
Alright. Let's go.
383
00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:37,259
(DOOR OPENS)
384
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:39,059
Soph?
385
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,379
No, it's Dad of the Year.
386
00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:43,659
- As if that's even a thing.
- (MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
387
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:44,859
Oh, here we go.
388
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:46,699
Looks like it's moving out time.
389
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,819
Alessandro, my man.
390
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:50,739
Hope you're ready to hang ten
391
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:53,659
because I'm ready
to do some couch surfin'.
392
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:55,939
(WHISPERS) Couch?
393
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:57,619
What's that?
394
00:16:57,620 --> 00:17:00,299
Oh... I was happy to pay
the bond for everyone,
395
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,459
but I've never heard of a Boomer tax.
396
00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:07,300
So because I'm over 30,
I have to pay you $500?
397
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,339
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, yeah.
398
00:17:10,340 --> 00:17:11,699
No, no.
399
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,379
I mean, I guess it makes sense.
400
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,899
No. Brad, Brad, Brad.
401
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,379
Hey, Alessandro,
Brad doesn't need your couch.
402
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,379
Not now, not ever.
403
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:21,659
Adios.
404
00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:22,739
Greg!
405
00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:24,939
I'm sorry,
I've had enough bullies for one day.
406
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,179
Where am I supposed to live now?
407
00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:27,459
Oh, it's OK.
408
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:29,539
Greg will work something out. Greg?
409
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,420
Yeah. I'll think of something.
410
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,580
Guess I'll go put my normal clothes
on, then.
411
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,499
"Clarence"?
412
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,500
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Sophie!
413
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:45,900
Chloe!
414
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,099
Oh, hello.
415
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:53,260
Looks like somebody owes somebody
an apology.
416
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,019
There's no reason why this
needs to be awkward.
417
00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,020
I agree.
418
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:14,459
Still feels pretty awkward,
though, doesn't it?
419
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,219
Fine. I accept your apology.
420
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,019
- What?
- You were holding Clarence's thermos.
421
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:19,619
You've been caught red-handed.
422
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:23,699
I don't know how Chloe got that
thermos but it doesn't really matter.
423
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,019
When bigger boys like Clarence bully...
424
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,259
Clarence is not the bully.
425
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:29,419
(WHISPERS)
He's the size of a small tree.
426
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:32,619
Yeah, and she's a little pot plant
who's been bullying my son.
427
00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:34,019
My daughter's not the bully here.
428
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:35,979
Clarence has homemade dumplings
in a thermos for lunch.
429
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,579
He wouldn't give those up
for crappy white bread sandwiches
430
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:39,939
in cling wrap.
431
00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:40,979
My sandwiches aren't crappy.
432
00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:43,539
They're my world famous
funny honey sandwiches.
433
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:46,459
You're just another walking
celebration of male mediocrity.
434
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:49,939
You think a basic sandwich deserves
a Nobel sandwich prize?
435
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,139
As if that's even a thing.
436
00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:55,619
Um, maybe we should let the kids
tell us what happened.
437
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:56,939
Yeah? Well?
438
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,580
We decided to swap lunches.
439
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:01,940
Swap?
440
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,379
Sweetheart, is this true?
441
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:04,820
His sandwiches make me laugh.
442
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,219
I put a joke in the bag.
443
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:10,739
That's why they're called
my funny honey sandwiches.
444
00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:13,140
What do you do when someone
rolls their eyes at you?
445
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,260
You roll them back.
446
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,300
Chloe?
447
00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:22,900
Her dumplings are so juicy
and I want to eat them all the time.
448
00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:26,859
Oh, why didn't you just say something?
449
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:29,260
Because I didn't want to
hurt your feelings.
450
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:33,259
And Clarence didn't want to hurt yours.
451
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,859
Sorry, Mum.
452
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:36,459
I guess if the kids want to
swap their lunches,
453
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:37,979
that's their business.
454
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:38,980
Fine with me.
455
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:42,539
Maybe I could put a joke
in your thermos.
456
00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:43,819
Yeah, right.
457
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,579
I'll have you know some of the kids
at school
458
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,859
think I'm quite the comedian.
459
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:50,139
Why else would they draw
a Groucho Marx glasses
460
00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:52,419
and moustache on my cut-out?
461
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:53,420
I'm a hoot.
462
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,779
Well, I'll see you out.
463
00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,139
I read your book.
464
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:00,539
You're a very good writer.
465
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:02,099
Clear and concise.
466
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,019
I look forward to what you
write next time
467
00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:06,619
when you've got better material
to work with.
468
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:07,620
Come on.
469
00:20:07,621 --> 00:20:08,860
She's not too bad.
470
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,859
SOPHIE: I'm home!
471
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:20,459
It's about time.
Sophie, where have you been?
472
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:22,179
And would it have killed you
to send a message
473
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,539
like you promised you would?
474
00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:26,419
Uh, how about, "Hey, Sophie.
Did you get the job?"?
475
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,540
Ah, did you get the job?
476
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:31,979
Oh, Soph.
477
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,099
Of course I did.
478
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,740
That's my girl.
479
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,459
So, how was the interview?
480
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:39,460
And how was Zane?
481
00:20:39,461 --> 00:20:41,700
Did he ask you lots of questions?
482
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:46,379
Uh, no. No, just dropped off
the form and got the job.
483
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:48,339
Just like that? That's great.
484
00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:49,819
Never in doubt.
485
00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:51,059
Emily had doubts.
486
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:52,259
No, not doubts, Soph.
487
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:54,179
I mean, I just wanted you to be prepared
488
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:56,099
so you weren't disappointed that...
489
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:59,859
You know, just because Reese
Witherspoon won't return your calls
490
00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:02,420
doesn't mean you need to
take it out on me.
491
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,819
Hey, Soph!
492
00:21:05,820 --> 00:21:07,780
Come back here.
493
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:16,180
"Never stop dreaming."
494
00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:18,500
Hm.
495
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,139
Check this out. Flat as a tack.
496
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:24,419
Oh, really?
497
00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:25,420
You know, that's funny
498
00:21:25,421 --> 00:21:27,739
because I thought
I heard something pop just before.
499
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:30,139
I'm gonna have to send them
all back to Taiwan.
500
00:21:30,140 --> 00:21:32,739
Can't have my balls popping before
they get to the beach.
501
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:34,299
(CHUCKLES)
502
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:36,299
(CHUCKLES, CRIES)
503
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:37,339
Oh, come on.
504
00:21:37,340 --> 00:21:40,179
Don't worry about what Sophie said.
505
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,219
She's at a weird age.
506
00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:42,379
Oh, they're all weird ages.
507
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:44,499
But actually, she's right.
508
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:48,219
So what if My Shit Husband
didn't become Big Little Lies?
509
00:21:48,220 --> 00:21:49,739
I've gotta stop dragging the chain
510
00:21:49,740 --> 00:21:51,899
and I've gotta focus on my next book.
511
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:53,819
- There we go.
- Hm.
512
00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:56,899
Maybe it could be about a schoolmarm
who's drunk with power.
513
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:57,900
Greg.
514
00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:00,939
No, I'm OK with being your shit husband.
515
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:02,819
But being a shit parent?
516
00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:04,939
I take that seriously.
517
00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:06,899
So tomorrow I'm gonna go back
to the school
518
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:10,939
and I'm gonna sign up for Luna's
PASH committee.
519
00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:12,059
Competitive much?
520
00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:14,539
No, it's not about that.
521
00:22:14,540 --> 00:22:17,739
I should get involved. It's what...
It's what good parents do.
522
00:22:17,740 --> 00:22:18,980
BRAD: Hey, bro.
523
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,940
Loving the new digs.
524
00:22:23,940 --> 00:22:26,939
- (BOTH SING)
- ? If camping's your propensity ?
525
00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:28,139
? Come talk to us ?
526
00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:31,219
? In-Tent-City. ?
527
00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:33,299
(CHUCKLES)
528
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:34,779
Sponsor.
529
00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:36,300
(LAUGHS)
530
00:22:42,660 --> 00:22:45,580
(DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE)
531
00:22:46,980 --> 00:22:49,979
Tez! Hurry up!
532
00:22:49,980 --> 00:22:51,339
I don't want Em to see us.
533
00:22:51,340 --> 00:22:53,379
She checks this thing four times a day.
534
00:22:53,380 --> 00:22:55,619
But there's a book here on antelopes.
535
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,339
Oh. Well, bring them both.
536
00:22:57,340 --> 00:22:58,340
Great.
537
00:22:58,341 --> 00:22:59,539
Let's get home.
538
00:22:59,540 --> 00:23:00,659
Let's go.
539
00:23:00,660 --> 00:23:04,019
I feel another Spanish rickshaw
coming on.
540
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:06,459
To your second book.
541
00:23:06,460 --> 00:23:07,499
Bedazzle me!
542
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,379
So did Audrey like any of your ideas?
543
00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:10,539
She hated all of them.
544
00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:15,019
Instead, she wants me to ghost-write
some stupid sports autobiography.
545
00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:16,500
Whose autobiography?
546
00:23:16,538 --> 00:23:18,058
Adam Gilchrist!
547
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:21,125
- Meet Emily Butler.
- G'day.
548
00:23:21,175 --> 00:23:25,725
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