All language subtitles for Friday Night Dinner s06x01 10 Years and a Lovely Bit of Squirrel.eng

Hello, I'm Tamsin Greig.
Welcome to the show.

It is difficult to believe
that it's ten years since

the transmission of the very first
episode of Friday Night Dinner.

But to celebrate that
momentous occasion, myself,

other members of the cast

and a few surprise guests have come
together to make this documentary.

I'm sure you know that
very recently

we lost our dear and most cherished
friend Paul Ritter,

who plays Martin Goodman
in Friday Night Dinner.

We all miss him terribly.

Incredible actor, a true friend
and a lovely human being.

Sadly, at the time of making
the documentary,

Paul was pretty unwell and,
to be honest

and, don't tell the producers this,
but I did try and persuade him

not to do the interview.

Erm...

But it is testament to
Paul's courage and generosity

and dignity and complete
lack of vanity that he wanted

to participate in the documentary,
to do an interview

and to really celebrate this little
world that he's been a part of

and that he's enjoyed
so much over the years.

So I know that Paul would
want us to all sit back and laugh

and enjoy this celebration
of the FND universe

and say, as we do,

in his memory,

shalom.

Welcome to Friday Night Dinner:

Ten Years
And A Lovely Bit Of Squirrel.

It's my tenth year.
Your tenth year?

Happy anniversary.

I can't believe it's been ten years.

I'll fetch the champagne!

Over the next 90 minutes,

we'll be revelling in the wonderful
world of the Goodmans...

Powww.

..and finding out what makes
Friday Night Dinner so special.

What a celebration.

Every week the boys go
home for Friday night dinner.

You've got your "Hello, bambinos.
Hello, bambinos.

You've got your "Lovely bit
of squirrel".

Ooh, lovely, Jackie.
Yeah, lovely bit of squirrel.

Jonny and Adam say, "Skill McGill."

Skill McGill.

Pusface and Pissface,
pranking each other.

Argh!

That's what you want and
that's what you get.

They have this oddball neighbour...
Is this the right place

for a creamy tea?

..who always comes round.

And at the end of the episode
20 minutes later,

the house is on fire or
somebody's smashed up a car.

Shit on it!

Or there's a vat of literal
human faeces that's been

spilt on the dining room carpet.

No, Wilson!

ALL SHRIEK

It's a very small cast of people
basically doing the same jokes

week in, week out.

And that's why you love it.

As well as hearing from
a host of famous fans...

It's very funny.

..we also get to meet some
of the Goodmans' family friends...

I like to think that
Val is the angel.

..enemies...

Bitchface.

..those you simply cannot forget...

You filthy slanderer!

Funny thing he's
got about slandering.

..and of course that
funny man from next door.

I had to change my trousers, because
I'd filled them all up with wee-wee.

How lovely.

We go behind the scenes to find out
some tricks of the TV trade,

look at the impact the show has had
on the behaviour of our nation...

Shit on it.

..meet some of the UK's
most passionate fans...

..and as a special treat,
we will reveal to you and the cast

outtakes which have never
been broadcast

on British television ever before.

Argh! Jackie!

It was so violent.

So, sit back and enjoy as we
serve up for you

an extra-large helping of
Friday Night Dinner.

Atchoo!

JACKIE SHRIEKS

Shit on it.

Over.

Oh! Pissface!

In all, a total of 37 episodes
of Friday Night Dinner

have been made over the last
ten years,

and all of them written by one man -
Robert Popper.

It all comes down to that, really.

It's what on the page
and who's written it.

So the secret to
Friday Night Dinner

is young Mr Popper.

Ah, the magical Robert Popper.

He is the ultimate Bobble.

I suddenly thought, "Friday night
dinner, that's...

"That could be a show.

"Two brothers go
home on a Friday night.

"Things happen,
and that's kind of the show.

"It's the same every week."

For inspiration, Robert didn't
have to stray too far

from his own upbringing
in creating the normal,

yet uniquely special Goodman family.

Aren't you cold?

What? Ooh, no.
Me nipples are roasting.

Roast nipples.
This helps a little, though.

Er... Frozen cod.

Oh!

I have known Robert Popper
since he was about seven.

And as I watched
Friday Night Dinner, I noticed

loads and loads and loads
of very specific references

to Robert Popper's family

that are actually in the show.

He would tell me stories every week,

of him and his brother Jonny

squabbling and fighting and
pranking each other on the phone

and Dad answering the door
with his top off.

You know, it sounded crazy,
but it was...it was real.

Well, the cliche is "write what you
know" and he's written stories

and memories and funny little
things that happened to him.

And where are you going
with all those pipes?

I tell you where I'm going -
to shove them up my bottom.

You asked him.

The family have been really great
about it,

I think, cos it's not written with
hate, it's written with love.

They give me stories. They say,
"Oh, this happened.

"Dad did this," or, "Mum did this."

Argh!

Salt, you bastard!

Yee-ha!

Adam!

Oh! Jonny!

My brother and I,
we're really close.

Friday night dinner was just
the chance for us to basically ruin

each other's meals.

That was our joke
since we were tiny.

Which always involved putting
salt in each other's water

and our food and
destroying our meals.

Oh, no, what is in my mouth?
What do you think is in your mouth?

Boys...

Oh, God!

Oh!

Jonathan!

Toenails? That's disgusting!

I can't believe you, Jonathan.

Me?!

When Robert originally
told me his idea for the show,

he said it was based on two
universal truths,

which are that, one,

all dads, when they hit
about 50, become a bit weird,

and, two, that
no matter how old you are,

when you go home to visit
your parents

you immediately revert to
behaving like a child.

So, this is what happens when you
stay at Mum and Dad's, is it?

Such a dick.
Look at his little pyjamas!

Don't be cruel.

And his little slippers.

Oi, leave my slip-slips.

Your slip-slips?
Stop it, Jonathan. He's frail.

Is he?

Ow. Oh, yes. Jonny!

We regress. I'm 49.

I try and be a grown-up.
I've got kids myself.

If my mum goes, "Darling,
what do you want?"

I'm like, "Uh, what's
in the fridge?"

I'm like...49.

I think we all do that a bit,
don't we?

I mean, we're all ruder at home
at our parents' house

to each other and we're all a bit
more narky and argumentative

and childish.

"I love Mummy and Daddy so much,
sometimes it makes me cry.

"I would kill myself if Mummy and
Daddy died in a terrible accident

"or even if they just died."
Amazing.

The relationship between Adam
and Jonny I think

is just a very normal
sibling relationship,

by which I mean it is just
totally sadistic.

And their main aim in life is
to cause each other

as much pain as possible,

be that physical pain
or emotional turmoil.

Ideally both at the same time.

OK, you can have him back now.

Both Adam and Jonny relish
the antagonism.

It's not like one is the bully

and one is the bullied.

Bye. Jonny!

They both definitely
give as good as they get.

Which is true
when we're all filming it as well.

Your humble servant.

Argh.

Ow! Boys!

By the end of the series,
we're all, like, bruised,

cos we're genuinely trying to get
away with hurting each other

as badly as we can!

Tom doesn't have a sibling,
and Simon does,

so Tom really relished
the fact that he was gonna,

you know, have this sort of
actual brother to play with.

But Simon's got siblings.
He knows how to fight.

So he knew what he was doing.

And they just... They were very
physical with one another.

Jonny's got a tattoo! What?

You shit! Ow!

Ow!

He's a lot stronger than he looks.
He's really stocky.

And I-I don't enjoy it.
And he's sort of like wrestling.

As soon as he gets his body
involved, I'm knackered.

I'm a loser. I've got a bit more
reach than him, though,

so I can slap, and I'm quicker
than him as well.

So I can slap and run, but any
sort of wrestling, he'll win.

Thankfully, the two brothers have
a much more mature

real-life relationship.

It's quite a lot like
the on-screen relationship,

just without the physical violence.

Yeah, I've sort of got
an important phone call later.

THEY LAUGH

I think Tom and I are just like
brothers, really,

in that there is definitely
like an unbreakable

bond there, but also just a
seething undercurrent of resentment

and competition and jealousy.

Jonny!

I don't know what to say, really.
It depends what he says.

I'm gonna be like,
"Oh, Simon's really nice.

"He's so clever and he's so funny
and he's so helpful."

And then it's gonna cut to him and
he's gonna be like, "I hate him."

That's what... That's what
he always does.

I can't stand him.

No, I can stand him.

While off screen there is obviously
a deep affection / tolerance,

on screen it's the pranks which
define the brothers' relationship.

Pranks fall into
two categories, really.

You have a disgust category.

LAUGHTER

Oh, you tit!

Yeah, I made it last night.
I must give you the recipe.

Also, you have like
the embarrassment one.

A good example would be like when
Adam's on the phone to Tanya Green.

Piss off!

Pusface is on the telephone
to a female

and then Pissface tries to

basically embarrass him
while he's on the phone.

And it's this one scene where
they're running through the house.

PHONE: Are you OK?

No, no, I'm fine.

And it's just absolutely
extraordinarily brilliant.

You're not in the bathroom,
are you?

The bathroom?
No, I'm in the living room.

What's that sound?

And it's just brilliantly performed.
Like, that kind of physicality,

which is very, very difficult
to choreograph on film,

especially to make it look so kind
of fresh and energised and real.

You're not, like,
on the loo, are you?

STRAINING: Of course
I'm not on the loo!

TOILET FLUSHES

CALL ENDS

Hello?

You bloody shit!

You shitting bloody shitting shit!

One-all?

One-all.

There's an element of
Spy vs Spy to the boys

and a kind of mutual
admiration.

And when they realise they've
been done or they've been had

and, you know, they've fallen
victim to the other's trick,

there's a kind of,
"Ah, yeah, you got me.

"That was a good one. I wish...
I could try that on you next time.

"I've got to...
I've got to top that one now."

Can you believe him, Mum?
Shut up!

It's an arms race between those two.

So at the beginning

of the arms race, it's simply
salt in water.

Right? That's a given.

All fair.

But it escalates
and escalates to, like,

where he brings a girlfriend home.

And he puts all, yeah, very naughty
pictures all over his bedroom wall.

I'm just getting his, erm...

He just really likes tits.

Call me a traditionalist,
but I really like the simple pranks.

Egg in shoe I think
is pretty strong.

Everyone's got eggs,
everyone's got shoes.

There's literally no reason
not to do it.

CRUNCH

Oh, God.

What is it? Boys. Yes. Oh, yes.

What has he...?

An egg? An egg?!

Bloody halfwits.

See you later, Pusface. Jonny!

I get a lot of
letters from families

who say they enjoy the show but
the pranks specifically

are responsible for their children
behaving awfully.

Crisp? Ugh!

They've been inspired by some
of the stuff in the show to

you know, put eggs
in people's shoes

Or just throw nuts at each other.

Nut? Uh!

I guess secretly my hope is always
that children

up and down the country will try
to emulate these,

although I, you know,
I could never say that.

I would never condone that publicly.

I mean, if you're in the position
of having to look after children

who are being inspired by Friday
Night Dinner, I apologise profusely.

I'm so sorry.

Hi, Mum. Keep going.

We've made your life a lot harder.

Oh, my God! Scrub-a-dub-dub.

What is happening?!
What is happening?!

Why is it all red?!

HE YELPS

Join us after the break, when
we find out how to film

multiple dinner scenes without
putting on weight.

More potato?
LAUGHTER

I'm gonna get some more potatoes.
Me too.

Welcome back as we celebrate
ten years with the Goodmans.

A normal, middle-class Jewish
family who live a normal life

in a normal North London street.

I don't think any family is normal.
I think it is a fallacy.

That's flour you're eating.
I know.

It's quite like my family.
It's quite like every family.

I mean, what is "normal" anyway?

Jonny. Ow!
Let go of him!

You let go of him.
Get off me!

Adam, if you stay in this house
any longer, you WILL die.

Don't listen to him, Bobble.
Stay here with Mummy.

This whole series could be
taken to psychology students,

and say, "Analyse this family
and the world they inhabit.

"Analyse this family."

Don't you think it's a bit weird
we do all this Christmassy stuff?

No. Why's it weird.

Er, maybe because we're Jewish?

Christmas is just, you know, fun.

Fun? Yeah, family.

Fun or family?
They're quite different.

Oh, just put the crackers out.

The Jewish crackers or the
Christian crackers? Shut up.

Well, the Goodmans
are obviously Jewish,

but they're not
particularly observant.

They're sort of culturally Jewish.

They're very, sort of,
proud of their heritage,

but also very willing to
use it to their advantage.

For instance,
when they force Jim to eat

loads of disgusting rice pudding

by claiming that it's
the highest honour that can be

bestowed upon a gentile.

You've done it. Agh...!

Well done, Jim.
Jewish blessings upon you.

Yeah, shalom! Shalom!

It's funny, I always hated
my mother's rice pudding,

but Jewish rice pudding
is really, really...

STOMACH GURGLES
It's really....! Ah! Oh...!

HE VOMITS

People know it's Jewish because,
A, it's a Friday night dinner,

and, B, there's the odd
Jewish word comes in.

I found a trilobite.
Mazel tov.

It wasn't like, "Oh, I want
to write a Jewish comedy."

I just wanted to write a comedy
about a family, and they are Jewish.

I love the candles, by the way.
Thank you.

I hope they're not just for me.
What? Oh, no.

It's Friday night, so...
Friday night?

We're Jewish, so...
Are you?

Jewish people watching will get it,
go, "Ah," you know.

The cast - I think only Tom is half
Jewish - they're not Jewish.

But they capture the essence of it,
they've got it.

None of the actors, apart from
the wonderful Tracy-Ann Oberman,

none of us are actually Jewish.

Out.

They've managed to create an essence
of North London Jewishness,

which is a beautiful
thing to behold.

Sorry I got married
without telling you, Mum.

Thank you, Val.
Jackie.

The most interesting thing
is the fact that

they're a dysfunctional
functioning family,

and I think everybody
can relate to that.

The beating heart of the
Goodman family is Jackie.

Are you going to sit there like
a schtumer or are we going to go?

As stereotypes go,
an unorthodox Jewish mother,

but based on the real deal.

My mum was the best.
She gave me my sense of humour.

My mum is funny. Jackie's funny.

I think you can get some joy
out of being in on their jokes.

Right, shall we just
order our food and get on

with the bloody evening, yeah?
Yeah, good idea.

And, Martin, put some clothes on.

This isn't a nudists camp.
What?

Ow! Ya bugger!

For all her sarcasm,
She is absolutely a lioness.

That's the thing about her,
she's not saccharine.

She gives as good as she gets.

YOU are leaving.

That's it, throw a blind man out.

Oh, we're throwing a blind man out,
all right.

Er, number 23?
Thanks.

If she were to go,
the whole thing would break down.

Mum. What?

That means Dad's making dinner.

Yeah, so? We might die.
We WILL die.

To some extent, I suppose you
would say that the Tamsin character

is the straight woman.

She's a good mum. She indulges
her children's childishness,

while sort of gently trying to
chivvy them in the right direction.

Adam's got a girlfriend.

You shit! Agh!

What?
Jonny's got a girlfriend.

You've both got girlfriends?
Yes. Yeah.

At the same time?

Yes... Oh, my God!

Thank you!

Jackie Goodman is
eternally optimistic.

She lives on this...
this tsunami of hope.

Hi, boys!

Last week, Friday night
dinner was awful, because

every Friday night dinner is awful,
but she doesn't hold that over.

The next week is another,
"Hi, boys,"

and she wants to cook for them

and make it a place
where they're welcome.

Oh, my little babies.

Have your meringues.

The degree of mollycoddling
of a man approaching his 30s

is weird, to say the least.

In the episode when Adam's in
the magazine, and he talks about

going to the musical
with Val, and not Mum...!

..that's mad.

I mean, Jackie is obviously...mad.

"What is you earliest
musical memory?"

Erm...yes?

Going to see Oliver the Musical
with my Auntie Val when I was six.

And?

I took you to see Cats
when you were five!

Tamsin Greig, she can do anything.

I mean, when we film Tamsin's
close-up, we always say,

"You could just show that."
She can do everything.

Please say you're not being serious?

No mention of your mother anywhere.

You are being serious.
I can't believe it!

You mention your father.
Oh, yes. "My Dad's so funny."

Incredible.
You mention your brother.

"My brother's hilarious."
He really is.

You mention... Auntie Val?

Oh, yes, you even
mention Auntie Val,

but you can't mention
your own mother.

One person who always
has Jackie's back,

and on occasion Adam's backside,

is Valerie Lewis,
otherwise known as Auntie Val.

Say you love your mother!

Well, go on, Adam - say it!

Oh, my God!

Insanity!

I love the fact that she's got
Val in her corner, I really do.

What Jackie has to go
through every Friday night,

I need to know that she can vent

and rage and get it all off
her chest on a Saturday, going,

"You're not going to believe this...
And then they did this."

Argh!

And I love the character of Val.

I mean, Tracy-Ann Oberman
is also a brilliant actress.

They're fantastic together.

Hello, boys.

Hello, Auntie Val.
Hello, Auntie Val.

Well, aren't you going to give
me a kiss, then? Honestly.

Ah, ah, ah.
Shoes first, then kiss.

Pardon?
Take your shoes off.

Erm, we never take our shoes
off in this house.

Well, now we do.
Since when?

Just obey.

She's like Jackie's evil twin.

She sort of bosses them about,
makes them take their shoes off,

cooks them food they don't like.

So, I think it just
puts the men on edge.

Remember the rules, Martin.

Ja, mein Fuhrer!

When you come home, you just want
to be with your mum and dad,

and kick your shoes off and relax,
and then when Valerie turns up,

it's like, "Oh, we've got to be
slightly on our best behaviour

"because it's Auntie Val."

You're a wonderful family...!

♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

Has she gone?

ALL: Yes!

There are 37 episodes
of Friday Night Dinner,

and for each episode the cast
would have to spend days

eating plate upon plate of
chicken, roast vegetables

and Jackie's famous crimble crumble.

Hear ye...

Oh, dear.

Sometimes there's a dinner scene
that is, say, eight pages long.

That will mean we're going to be
filming in the dining room all day,

doing the same scene.

So, you film the big wide shot,
then you film a shot

of mum and dad at the corner,
the two boys, and then opposite,

and then the singles,
meaning close-up, etc.

So, you're doing the same
scene again and again -

and they're eating food.

So, they've learnt how
not to eat the food.

People often don't eat very much.

If people are chucking back
huge amounts of potatoes

and things in the first take,

well, they're then going to have
to keep on doing that all day.

So, they kind of... They've
got their own ways round that.

I do a lot of cutting.

Really, really dice those
green beans.

I sort of move stuff
around on the plate....

Boys.

..have a sip of wine.

So, that's my way round it.

We all just ended up eating
a lot of vegetables,

cos otherwise you'll be
sitting three for three days

eating potatoes, which some people
have made the mistake of doing.

Skye Bennett, who played
Jonny's American wife,

had never done these kind
of table scenes before.

When deciding what to eat...

..I thought, "Oh, well, I love
potatoes, I'll eat the potatoes.

"That'll be fun."

We're all there just, like,
cutting up green beans into

very tiny pieces, knowing that
that's what we're going to be

eating for the next three days.

And we're all, like, watching Skye,
who's shoving in potatoes.

Roast potatoes, shoving them in.
Chopping them just in half -

not into, like, a 1/20 -
and then shoving it in.

Tamsin was sat to the left of
me at the top of the table,

and she went, "Oh, that's brave,"
when I went to eat.

Spending the afternoon eating about
a thousand roast potatoes was...

..not the best move.

I very nearly had to ask someone
to pass me a bucket.

This really is an awesome meal.

I'm going to get some more potatoes.
Me, too.

She said that she went home
those few nights in agony.

She'd eaten her body weight
in potatoes.

I just ended up being
rolled out of the house.

It was fine.

Thank you.
More potato?

And it's not just the
food which is kosher.

Unlike most other sitcoms,
Friday Night Dinner is shot

almost exclusively in a
real home in North London.

We're in a real human's house,

and there's, you know,
50 crew in there,

so the house that's quite a nice
size becomes a tiny house.

You're there for, like, 35 days.

And you go insane, really.

And wherever you stand in the house,

you're in the way.

Every part of the house gets
used as part of the set,

but at the same time the rest
of the crew have got to find a way

to squirrel themselves away.

The cast have got, yeah, they've
got their little hidey hole.

I mean, it's so unglamorous.

They go up there, and they sit down,
and they play Boggle.

People think that filming
Friday Night Dinner

is about creating a sitcom,

but it's actually secondary, really
to me, Mark, Tamsin, Paul and Simon

getting together to play Boggle.

I think it would be no exaggeration
to say over the course of

the six series we've probably played
at least 1,000 games of Boggle.

At times, yes, it does
affect the day's filming.

We do refuse to go on to set
until the game is finished,

and I'll make no apologies for that.

Coming up - a look at why
Martin Goodman shouldn't be

allowed blunt instruments.

Argh! Erm...your winkie's showing.

Ooh-ha. Dad.

And the neighbour who really is
the gift that just keeps on giving.

Orange squash.

You just add water.

Welcome back, as we celebrate
ten years of Friday Night Dinner

with the Goodmans.

This is terrific.

The only regular dish
on that menu being disaster...

GLASS SHATTERS
Ah! Shit on it. Oh, my God.

..served up
more often than not by Dad.

Bugger off! Argh!
JACKIE SCREAMS

Bugger.

MUSIC BLARES

MUSIC STOPS
Christ. My God.

Was it loud?

OFF-SCREEN: Martin is slightly deaf.

Doesn't really like wearing clothes.

Oh, boiling.

Oh, put your bosoms away.

He loves his shed,
he's a little bit dirty.

What are you doing?
Sitting in the shed.

Mm, I think he means, why have you
got a cloth on your face?

I did mean that.
Keeps out the light. Right.

Also.

Smells nice.
HE SNIFFS

Mm. Grubby.

You know, he keeps tins of meat
for years and years and years.

He wears those filthy old slippers.

See what I'm talking about?

Not really.

He's utterly dysfunctional
and yet brilliant.

And?

And? Why are you
keeping 20-year-old meat?

Cos it's my good luck meat,
isn't it? Now give.

Sorry, your good luck meat?
Your good luck meat.

OFF-SCREEN: I think dads
get a licence,

over a certain age, to act
how they want. You know, sort of...

..we just accept
that they're rude to everyone.

Piss off.

How's he got his top off already?

I've got my wife,

I've got my sons,
I've got a lovely bit of squirrel.

I've got crimble crumble.

Life is good. I can walk around
without my shirt on

and it doesn't matter.
It's freedom.

Martin Goodman is freedom.

You know, I'd have friends round and

my dad would just be in his jeans
and no top. And that was normal.

Just put your bosoms away.
I told you, I'm bloody boiling.

Oh, your dad.

Dad is quite similar to Martin.

Yeah, he's hard of hearing.

I remember him eating eggs
that were a year and a half old.

He would just eat incredibly,
incredibly old food and go.

"It's fine. It's fine.
Stop fussing."

Ah...

ALL: OH! God.

It's fine. It's perfectly good meat.

Perfectly good meat.

Er, you're not actually
gonna eat that, are you?

No, let him, boys.
Let your father poison himself.

Come on Martin,
you've proved your point.

Not yet I haven't.

THEY GROAN
Martin!

It's fine. It's absolutely fine.

It's down to Paul's
incredible, incredible acting.

I wanted him to capture
sort of the essence of my dad,

but do his own thing,
and, which he did, you know,

beyond anything
I could ever imagine.

The latent irritability.

The weird flights of fancy.

The weird sort of hobbies.

Do you know long 28 bloody years is?

I do.

10,220 bloody days.

SHE SIGHS

He's just so fantastic.

He gets everything spot on and more.

And when they were casting
and they said,

"Oh, we're trying to get, um,
this actor called, er, Paul Ritter."

I said, "I'm in."

SHE GIGGLES

I said, "You, you get him
and I'm... I'm totally there."

You'll eat anything at any time.

Yeah, is there anything
you won't eat, ever? Um...

Wasps?

When he comes out with ketchup
and...and Jonathan surprises him

and the ketchup goes over him.

Here's your tomato blood.

Hi, Dad. Oh, God.

Oh, you bleedin' idiot.

Dad! Ooh!

Shit on it!

I mean, I couldn't keep
a straight face.

NARRATOR: At the time
of making this documentary,

Paul Ritter was suffering
from a severe illness,

which would eventually,
sadly, take his life.

But Paul still wanted to take part
to show his appreciation

and share his insights
into the wonderful comedy creation,

Martin Goodman.

Shit.

OFF-SCREEN: People like Martin.
There's something about him

that reminds them
of their half-dressed dad,

possibly with a hankie over his head
and Eric Morecambe specs.

Mum, I don't want any more.
Nor do I.

I'll have some. I love scraps.

CHOMPING SOUNDS
Dad.

I think he's immune to hygiene.

HE BELCHES
Ah.

Oh, excuse me.
Oh, come on, pigs.

The man's gross.

There's no argument about that.

He's a barnyard animal.

He will gladly eat anything
off the floor, out the bin.

Any, um...females?

I'm really not gonna have that
conversation with you right now.

Why not?

Because you're eating cheese
in the loo.

OFF-SCREEN: Martin knows
that it's his job as Adam's father

to...to talk to him
about his love life, but...

But Martin is first and foremost
a man of science.

That's where you were formed.
"Formed."

Your mother's egg, my spermatozoa.

Dad?! All right, Martin.

I just don't think
he's got the vocab

to sort of ease
into those conversations.

He just comes in hard
with females, bosoms, sheaths.

Always wear a sheath.

He lacks finesse.

It's a good look. Thank you.
What's going on?

What? Your mother and I were having
a bit of time to ourselves.

OK. We were just making love.

Oh, God! Right, we're gonna go
and sit in the car for 20 minutes,

then come back in again and pretend
this never happened. Good idea.

Yes! Good idea.

Actually,
better make it half an hour.

HE MAKES DOG SOUNDS

OFF-SCREEN: The thing that we...
we often laugh about is that

I don't know whether Tamsin will
say this to you, but that Jackie

and Martin obviously have
a very passionate sex life.

It's the thing that has kept them
going for all these years,

because otherwise how could
she put up with him?!

But I did say to Tracy-Ann,
I think I said,

"Yeah, he's really good in bed."

SHE LAUGHS

There is nothing wrong
with your mother and I enjoying

a deeply physical relationship.

OK, shall we go and sit in the car
again? Or under the car?

Oh, that's so cute!

OFF-SCREEN:
And Jackie just loves that.

You know, he may be a bit, um,
haphazard about everything else,

but he lights up all her lights and
bells and whistles and...and twirls.

Very important.

Lots of nippy-nippy.
Vital, I'd say.

Makes it much easier
when they're eating out of the bin,

if you just had sex with him.
Then you don't mind so much.

I'm not an expert.

There's the sod.

Rotting liver.

NARRATOR: Paul Ritter's inimitable
portrayal of Martin Goodman

has given the nation one of
its most=loved comedy characters,

which will be with us
for many, many years...

If you and your ladies ever wanna
use the caravan

for a bit of, you know...
HE MAKES DOG SOUNDS

Oh, my God. ..just ask.

..and in a critically acclaimed
career on stage and screen,

it was a role
Paul relished performing.

Sods.

I'd be nothing without him.

No, seriously.
HE CHUCKLES

I mean, it was the great
sort of career...career gift.

Nice soup, Martin? What is it?

Vegetable. Tastes like pear.

OFF-SCREEN: In terms
of interesting parts,

he's been absolutely
everything to me

and I have loved playing him. Yeah.

I've loved all the, um, the sort
of extraordinary scenes we do.

We have a good marriage, don't we?

What? Of course we do.
And you know I love you?

Yes, of course. And?

And?

I say I love you and you say...

Oh, sorry. Likewise.

NARRATOR: There's no doubt
that Martin and Jackie

have a loving
and affectionate marriage...

Your mother's got a lovely bum. Oh!
HE CHUCKLES

..but fearing disappointing his wife
is usually the catalyst

for Friday Night Dinner chaos.

There are some episodes
of Friday Night Dinner

which go full tilt into farce.

I'm always delighted that Martin
is somewhat the motor for that.

Oh, my God. What?

He told them the wrong day. What?!

Dad told everyone Mum's party
was NEXT Friday.

Shit. He told them
it was next Friday?

Maybe read the next bit. "Don't tell
your shitting mother. Stall her."

Don't tell your mother. I mean,
"Don't tell your mother" is...

is almost a Martin catchphrase.

Don't tell my wife, but...
Your wife?

Sorry, your mother.

He lives in fear of...

of Jackie having a proper meltdown
with him, obviously,

and he'll go to almost any lengths
to stop that happening.

In families, everyone tells
lies the whole time.

That's what families are.

I was gonna say there's even
the word "lies" in families.

Pretty good. Fami-lies.

An air lock is basically
a mass build-up of air

that can't physically escape.

Martin told everyone the party
was next week, not tonight.

That's why there's no-one here.

What?

OFF-SCREEN: Growing up watching, you
know, Fawlty Towers was always my

favourite comedy, where it was just
things spiralling and going wrong,

and, you know, that's
kind of what this show is.

Just things getting worse and worse
and worse and going terribly wrong.

If you go, "Well I'm gonna go from
there to there." And people go,

"I'm not going there."

"OK, well, if I go from there
to there, you go, 'OK'."

And then he'll take you on the steps
that get you to that point.

It normally starts from,
like, a concept I thought of,

or someone telling me a story.

We went on holiday and a woman,
I can't remember who told us

about this, she knew someone that
had a fox in a...in their freezer.

And I thought, "Oh, that's funny."

Now! No! Oh, Jesus.

Oh, my God!

The profiteroles.
You shitting crap face!

And then, then I'm thinking, "OK,
I want to have a fox in the freezer.

"That's a funny image.
And Dad doing it is funny."

And then it's the thinking,
"Why's he got one in the freezer?"

Why've you got a dead fox
in the freezer?

OK, I'm going to have it stuffed.

What? What?

I'm going to have it stuffed.
Stuffed?! How?

I'll get a man. A man? Well,
you know what a man is, don't you?

What's this man
gonna stuff it with?

Sage and onion. Does it matter?

I love those sort of episodes
because you get a real vista

into what Martin is like
at his most devious.

WHISPERS: Under the stairs.

The fox cupboard?
You can't put it there.

Open the door.

OFF-SCREEN: Hold on.

Let me turn it on.

OFF-SCREEN: I mean, that was
the purest farce we ever filmed.

Moving a dead, thawing fox through
the house, and then it'll be funny

if they have to then climb out
the window with the fox.

It smells a bit. Come on.

Just so you know, I'm never doing
anything ever again for you, ever.

And I am no longer your son.

Idiots.

OFF-SCREEN: "What would be
the worst thing to happen?

"It ends up on a car
and the car's driven away.

"That would be fully to watch.

"I don't know
how I'm gonna write that."

Then it's days thinking,
"How would I do that?"

And then it was
outside Val's house,

the thought that, yeah, just that
Dad would smash the car window

and it's the wrong car window.

So it's that, it's trying to make
it worse each time.

Bloody hell,
I'll have to do it then, won't I?

Don't be ridiculous, you're not
gonna smash Auntie Val's window.

Oh, my God!

VAL: Martin?

Uh?

What are you doing?

OFF-SCREEN: That's the purest form
of just absolutely everything

getting worse and worse
and worse and worse,

and then the ending's even worse.

Oh.

Can I open them now?

Um...

Not now.

It was written that Wilson
not only eats the fox,

which became the final kind of beat
of the episode,

but, actually, there was another
beat where we all cut away and Mum's

still got her hands over it,
and...and Wilson's actually

humping the fox, but they...they...
The dog refused to do it...

..which I was glad about.
SHE LAUGHS

Jim?!

After the break...

Hello, Jackie. You look nice.

..it's Jim time.

Shalom to you all.

Oh!

Hello, boys and man.

In every episode
of Friday Night Dinner,

you can always rely on a visit from
sitcom's weirdest neighbour

- Jim.

The car, it's not really going where
I want it to go.

He's a sort of glitch in the
matrix, isn't he?

Loves his dog,

wants to be liked,
wants to be part of that family.

Obviously has an infatuation
with Jackie.

Oh, oh, Jim! Um...

And he's there, isn't he? On cue.

Smells nice too.

Jim. Hello, Jackie.

He's not of the Goodmans' world.

He's of nobody's world.

That's better.

Just invite him in.

Just... You've got enough crumble.

Pull up a chair.

Just let... He's so desperate.

It's all he wants.

He's probably even thinking about it
from Saturday

through till Friday lunchtime.

He just wants it.

Would you mind cooking

this little bit of fish for me?

I'm a pervert, a lunatic.

And, um..

And a psychopath.

I'm on the spectrum.

The whole lot.

IN DUMMY VOICE: Bugger off.

What? Little talking man.

Little talking man.

CRYING

He's a child, really, deep down,

but he's also, you know,

a sad man and he plumbs that.
He does that.

You can see the sadness
when he says like, "friends"

and then he looks off into the
distance.

This is Jim, our neighbour.

Friend. Neighbour.

He's just lonely, isn't he?

He just wants to be friends. Not
neighbours, friends.

Best, best friends.

IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: My horse is
in the hospital.

He wants to have friends.

Who doesn't want to have friends?

And, you know,
they're not his friends.

SHE LAUGHS

But he's not rejected.
They never kick him out.

There's nothing wrong with
an age difference.

I once went out with a lady

who was 35 years older than me.

Did you?

Oh...

No. I'm getting confused with my
mother.

You get little, mini glimpses,
when you find out that

him and Wilson, like, later on,
you know,

that they had bunk beds, you know.

You know, you find out snippets
along the way.

My father also fell to his death.

What? Oh, God, I'm sorry.

He fell from a towel.

A towel?

Actually, no, not...

..towel, tower.

I still have his watch.

Have you? Aw, that's...

CLATTERING

He was born in a zoo.

His brother lives in Uganda.

I once went to Switzerland.

Ooh, Switzerland?

SHE LAUGHS
Yes. To have a special operation

on my bottom. Wonderful.

He's in love with Jackie.

And always, you know,
trying to get in that house.

Oh, J... Jim.

Hello, Jackie. I was just about to
ring.

Is it someone's birthday?

Um, no. It's Jackie's.

Jackie, I had no idea.

Happy birthday, Jackie.

Um, thanks, Jim.

Why shouldn't he think that she's
lovely?

And...

But she's also very well-mannered.

You know, she doesn't want make him
feel...

..less than himself just because

he doesn't know not to kiss her.

Happy surprise birthday, Jackie.

Ooh. Er, yeah, thank you, um, Jim.

At what point do you become worried
about someone like that?

Because he does come round a lot.

He will, you know,

try and play the piano on Jackie's
breasts.

He will deliberately get himself
electrocuted so he can kiss her.

Like, there's some real
questionable stuff from Jim.

And there's definite stalking.

Oh, hi, Jim.

James.

Sorry?

James.

I've come about the house.

They just know just how far

to push it without going too far.

Just to kind of keep you tantalised,

but never kind of, you know,

the cat never comes out of the bag.

The shark never gets jumped.

Jackie never gets jumped,
truly, by Jim.

And that's what
kind of keeps it fresh.

Shalom.

But Jackie isn't the only thing Jim
covets from his neighbours.

Shalom.

Jim wants to sort of admire

the Jewishness and respect it.

And, you know, really, really,

you know, get right and be involved
with the family Jewishness,

but it's just awful how much he gets
it wrong.

Oh, I nearly forgot.

Do I put this on now?

What is it?

It's my Jewish hat.

Oh, you mean your yarmulke?

Hamacam.

Yarmulke.

You don't need to put it on,
but if you want.

Hamacam.

Yarmulke. Hamacub.

OK. Why don't you
take your jacket off, Jim?

Oh, yes, my Jacket.

Your yarmulke matches your shirt.

Thank you, Martin.

I made it myself.

It's like the outsider,
who looks at it in reverence,

you know, the Jewish religion.

Whereas the family, you know,
for most of us it's just like

"Oh, OK, we're having dinner."

SHE GIGGLES

The Goodmans tolerate Jim
constantly calling,

but when he brings round
a girlfriend, also called Jackie,

their good nature is
tested on a biblical scale.

Oh, it's you.

The other Jackie, you know,

she's this terribly timid character
that wouldn't say boo to a goose.

She's got this nervous tick where
she goes...

GIGGLING ..after everything she says.

So she's a bit odd.

Jackie, do you live nearby?

Um, not too near,
but also...

..not too far.

SHE GIGGLES

You wouldn't think that there's

you know, a malicious
bone in her body, really.

She's just a sort of sweet,
timid woman.

What is it you do?

Oh, well, I was
working as a legal secretary.

SHE GIGGLES
Ooh, someone's a clever clogs.

But then right at the end,
you know, she's...

Robert just gives her this dagger
just before, you know,

just when you think, "Oh, they might
make a really nice couple."

But then I left my job because
I didn't really like the people.

Oh, dear. Why's that?

They were Jews.

SHE LAUGHS

And it's based on a thing that I'd
had, loads of people had had that I knew,

when someone just... You don't
know them and they just make some

terrible racist, anti-Semitic
comment, and they don't know you're Jewish.

What I meant was...
That's it, keep talking.

That not all Jews are bad, but the
ones I've met... Here we are.

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

And now, piss off.

Is there a towel?

Playing the religiously-confused
and Jackie-infatuated neighbour

is the multi-talented Mark Heap.

He's kind of verging on a
performance artist, isn't he, really?

And he... And I like the fact that
he's always trying to subvert,

like when he tries to play
the violin.

Ooh...

BIZARRE HIGH-PITCHED CROONING

Mm, it's a bit out of tune.

He's totally unpredictable,
you know?

And also his physical humour...

I can't remember which episode,
I think it's the wedding,

when he brings a big present
round for Grandma

and he has to drop
the present in a funny way.

The stage direction is,
"He drops the box."

It's an original 18th century,
24 piece porcelain tea set.

Is it?

Most actors would just go, "Ooh,"
like that, and it's on the floor. Not Mark Heap.

PHONE RINGS, JIM SPLUTTERS

PORCELAIN SHATTERS
Oh! Oh...

Oh, dear.

And mercifully we were not in shot,
because I'm sure we all laughed.

Mmm...

Did you...?

CREW: OK, let's start again, please.

Tamsin is the worst. She has to open
the door to Mark Heap.

The first three takes'll be
laughing.

You're...mmm...

THEY LAUGH

She'll admit it herself.

Cut to her admitting it herself.

It's true.

Thank you, Robert.

But what is wrong with laughing?

While Jim has trouble becoming
friends with the Goodmans,

he's always had a trusty four-legged
companion by his side.

Wilson's just having his cola.

I remember
when Robert first told me about Jim.

He has this dog,
Wilson, that he loves.

But he's terrified of it,
so he flinches.

Every time the dog does anything,
he flinches.

No-one can tell exactly when the
dog's going to look at him,

but Mark just thinks, "Right, now I
will flinch."

And every time he does it
brilliantly.

Over the last ten years,

Jim has been petrified by two
on screen dogs -

a pair of Belgian Shepherds who
played Wilson,

and a Great Danoodle called...
Milson.

He never once bonded with
any of the dogs. Never, ever.

Wilson?!
WILSON BARKS

Wilson!

I'm not a doggy person.

I denied my own daughter a dog all
through her childhood.

And she's now, you know, mentally
unstable and violent because of it.

Quick!

Not now, Jim.
Something terrible's happened.

Wilson's not moving.

What?! Wilson...

At the end of series five,
Wilson was killed off in one

of Friday Night Dinner's most
poignant and emotional scenes.

I think he's dead.

Wilson's...dead?

He can't.

He can't be.

Not Wilson.

My favourite bit of Friday Night
Dinner ever

has to be the death of Wilson.

Wilson. It's me.

It's... Jim.

It was very clever by Robert,
because

Wilson was the character who died,

but it actually unlocked
all our feelings about Jim.

HE SOBS

Come back Wilson. Don't leave me!

Well, he loved Wilson.

It was... And he'd never touched him
before.

It's the first time that he's
actually given Wilson

a proper old cuddle.

We suddenly saw this bereft
guy who had lost

his only friend.

And I thought it was really,
really moving.

Now you are gone...

..and I am...

..alone.

Robert's good with putting
the pathos at just the right point,

but hopefully not in an overly
mawkish way.

And usually pathos needs to be
immediately comedically undercut.

Sorry, is it Sunday tomorrow?

Er, no, Jim, it's Saturday tomorrow.

Oh, yes.

Well, I'll get another dog
tomorrow, then.

Bye, all.

Coming up, we watch with the cast as
they see rare outtakes which

have never been broadcast on British
television before...

Shitting...

It's quite an abusive environment.

..and we take a look
at the grandmothers -

one lovely, one not quite so lovely.

THEY SCREAM

Ugh... There.

Hello, bambinos.

Nippy nippy.

Martin!

Welcome to the family.

After being on our screens
for the last ten years,

Friday Night Dinner is
a member of a very exclusive club -

the long-running British sitcom.

Didn't think it would last
this long at all.

You get two series, if you're lucky
three, which is you know,

and when we got three
I was like, "Wow!"

Yeah, I was very surprised
when we got up to six.

Where it's always the same

every week, but different.

Robert is remarkable
in that he has written

six series of Friday Night Dinner,
37 episodes on his own.

He must be the most
prolific comedy writer

living at the moment.

The rhythm of the show is very
notable, I think.

You can feel the music,
there's very few big speeches in it,

it's normally one line, another line
then a reaction from the boys,

then back, ba-ba-ba, and it really
feels very musical I think,

the way it's written.

She's drinking gin. That's what she
drinks when she's depressed.

Depressed. We have to tell her our
news. No way! Adam...

Boys. Oh, God, Dad.

Like as soon as it starts
it's just like,

"wah-wah-wah" and it's the way
Robert talks and the way Robert

writes, like there's never a gap.

Whenever we're filming, he's
just like faster,

you know, like louder like and it
becomes this cacophony of dialogue.

Which is why when you're watching
it, there's laughs that you kind of

miss sometimes, you have to watch it
again, cos there's just like a joke

and a joke and a joke.

The core family are a band,

they've all got to be in the
groove.

If it's not in the right groove,
if it's not in the right rhythm,

if it's not musical,
I guess, then it falls over

and the audience sit there going,
"Well, that was funny

"and that was funny, oh, something's
gone wrong here, I don't know what it is."

I'm the only one with a proper job.
For proper cocks.

It's called estate agent.
Cock agent. Boys!

Cos it is really quick and when I
saw the page length, I was like,

"Oh, that's quite long for
like a Channel 4 half hour,"

but in the read through,
noticing how pacy it was.

Jackie, Jonny's mum.

Lovely to meet you too,
Erm Jonny...

You're the man from before.

Yeah. I still haven't
found my sodding meat.

One of the great joys of working
on the show is you get to work with

this sort of revolving door of who's
who of the British comedy industry.

You get brilliant people coming in,
like Tuppence Middleton...

I'm not Jackie.

..Jason Watkins...

Shall I come in, or are you
closed on Fridays?

Paul Kaye was the rabbi, wasn't he?
Wouldn't you agree?

..John Sessions...

It's very late
and I've got a lousy cold.

..the wonderful Sally Phillips...

He has the fat legs?
What? I'm sorry?

And then lots of amazing younger
comedians as well, Liam Williams...

What did I do wrong?

..Jamie Demetriou...

Punk rockers.
Ah!

You're off to a flier in series one,
ep one, with Matt Holness.

Hello. Come in, use the loo.

Oh, thanks,
I really do need to go, actually.

Where is it?

Terrible to be caught up in your own
family madness, but if you're

caught up in someone else's,
it's absolutely sublime often.

Oh, sorry, Jim, Jim Bell.

Oh, sorry, Chris, Chris Parker.

I broke my toilet.

Oh, how did you do that?

For characters that are coming
into the house, it's like

coming in through a wormhole

and into a magical land where
everything's going wrong.

Hello, Nick.

Erm, hi, Jonny.

He keeps chewing his winkie.

Give me my shitting meat!

Because you've got the family, but
you've also got Jim

and then sometimes Auntie Val,
like I had.

Valerie Lewis.

PHONE RINGS

Just piss off!

We're so lucky to have had these
people in our show

and like they seem to just cast
these like

larger than life
characters I suppose.

VOICE OVER: Two guest actors who
appeared in several episodes

were the grandmas.

Jackie's mum, the nice Nellie
Buller, played by Frances Cuka

and Rosalind Knight, otherwise known
as "Horrible Grandma".

I think Horrible Grandma is one of
my favourite characters in the show.

It just felt like sort of an
unspeakable truth that might be

members of your own family that you
dislike

and are really horrible

and Robert's just put that
out into the open.

When will she die?

Oh, Jonny!

That's a terrible thing to say.

Is it?

No, not really.
Martin, when will your mother die?

She's a real piece of work,
she's like destructive.

What happened to that?

It fell over.

It fell over or it was pushed over?

Whenever I wrote a scene or
an episode with Horrible Grandma,

I knew it was going to
be like a darker episode.

I had to make her really horrible,

particularly in that episode when
she died for people to think,

"OK, I still like Martin,

"I accept that he is
so happy his own mum died."

HE LAUGHS

It's just nerves.

Is it nerves?

HE LAUGHS LOUDER

It's not nerves.

LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

Friday Night Dinner can surprise you
at times at how dark it is

and I think Martin's reaction to
how own mother's death

is definitely one of those moments.

VOICE OVER: Balancing the geriatric
bad karma in the Goodmans' house...

Ding ding.

..was Nellie, nice Grandma.

There's a scene where Grandma

ends up in a bikini outside
the house,

which is actually
based on my own grandma.

I went round to her flat,
she loved the sun,

she had a tiny little balcony,
just comes out in her bikini

and just lays down next to me,

which I thought was just brilliant.

All right.

Schmoigle?

One of my favourite
scenes in Friday Night Dinner is

when Grandma sends Jackie
to her room.

Just cos it,

it reminds you that, you know, some
things never change.

Go to your room. No.

It's not funny.

Yes. No.

You go to your room.

What?

There was some stories that
were like family favourites,

like my grandma arguing with a grown
woman, my mum,

telling her to go to her room.

They had an argument
in the house once

and my grandma, she spoke like
THIS.

HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: this is how she
spoke, "you go to your room!"

Mum, I'm not going to my room,
this is my house,

I'm a grown woman for Christ's sake.

And my mum said,
"You go to your room."

And my grandma's brain just
stopped for a second and she went,

"But I don't have a room!"

But I don't have a room.

So Robert's not a brilliant writer,
he just,

he just copies what he hears.

Have you got any words for the fans?

No.

VOICE OVER: Sadly both Frances and
Rosalind

have also passed away
in recent times,

but have left some wonderful
memories for both fans of the show

on screen and friends and colleagues
off.

So amazing to work with
people of that age that

still were really mischievous

and both in their own way
just cheeky.

And, you know, it's such

a privilege to spend
time with them.

I count it an enormous privilege to
have been with those women.

If I'm able to learn difficult
scripts like that

and come out with
performances like that...

LAUGHTER

I mean that, that is an incredible
standard.

It's a gold standard.

And if you'd spent a bit more time
worrying about your grandchildren,

rather than that crappy old fleabag
of yours.

What I think Robert is genius at is
he clearly loves women -

He loves their humour,
he loves their strength,

he loves their sarcasm,

and I would imagine that he's got
some very strong

women in his own upbringing.

All you care about is that
prostitute hairdo of yours.

BOTH: Ooh!

Prostitute? You heard me.

Mum. Mummy!

Let go. I will not.
Right.

BOTH: Whoa.

Ow, let go.
Martin, do something.

They're not invisible, they don't
disappear after a certain age,

they're allowed to be sexual beings

and be funny with it.

Oh, Mum, have you got your phone?

Yes, and my rape alarm.

She's not sitting crocheting,

she's a goer!

Oh!

But when Nice Grandma brought
a boyfriend round,

it unleashed a whole new level of
mayhem on the Goodman household...

Never would I have believed that I'd
be subjected to such a brutal

sexual attack.

..as they were exposed to the
octogenarian psycho-pensioner,

Mr Morris.

Now I don't want you
looking like a pair of punk rockers.

I'm not sure he knows there's
a house right in front of him.

Stop... Stop. Stop!

Hello, Mr Morris.

Your bloody house just
broke my light.

Harry walked into the audition
room and it was like,

"Oh, God, this is the man".

Well, I'll tell you what
it's all about.

Punk rock.

I mean, in real life he's lovely.

He's so funny and he's so bossy -
in a good way, you know?

While we're filming he goes, "Are
you going to put the camera there,

are you? Or you could put the camera
there. All right, action."

He would like do "action" to
himself.

Ooh. Oh! Ah!

Think you're tough, do you?

I didn't mean to.
You filthy slanderer!

It's OK, Mr Morris.

Let's see what you've got, then.
Come on, put 'em up.

Harry would be,

"Where is that young man?"

"Which one?"

"You know, the one
who's written it.

"This, by the way,
it's not your strongest."

I mean, it's comedy,
it's not Chekhov,

but of the genre it was magnificent.

You, little legs.

Me? Excellent!

Have a guess how many staff
I had in London and the south east?

Erm, four.

Four? Four?

Calling the boys, you know, you
know, Tiny Tim and Beanpole

and the endless,
"Guess how many".

Do you know how many heart
attacks I've had?

Oh, good, more guessing.

Erm...

..none.

Oh, no, I've had some.
Not none.

You, your go.

Oh, it's a horrible thing to have
to guess, Mr Morris.

Erm...

..one?

Why does everyone guess
so low in this house?

He's got a bit of an inferiority
complex

and he overcomes it by, erm...

..bullying people.

Dad!

Come back, you coward!

Lock the door, lock the door!

Let me out you...

Oh, Christ.

He's a lunatic.

Martin, what are we going to do?

Erm, sell the house.
Oh, very good.

Filthy...

Mum, what are we going to do?

I tell you what we're going to do,

we're going to stand out here

and wait till he has another
bloody heart attack.

Bunch of penises!

Coming up, we share with the cast
some rare outtakes which have never

been broadcast on British
television ever before.

I love the "stupid tits"
coming from off camera.

Over the last ten years,

there have been the odd one or two

mistakes while filming...

LAUGHTER

..so we trawled the archives
and have uncovered

some of the funniest moments...
Oh!

..to share with you and the cast,
who have never seen these out-takes

ever before.

BALLOON POPS
Ha-ha! That is funny.

OK, stand by... Action!

I tell you, if your mum makes me
go round to her mother's again,

I'll bleedin' hang myself!

So, she really can't come?

LAUGHTER

What's happening?

Got it wrong. Ha-ha-ha!

Yeah! That's a crazy blooper, man!
TAMSIN LAUGHS

Nearly gave me a heart attack!
Ooh, only nearly. Right...

Ow, Jackie!

Everybody is dishing it out
in the family. It's...

It's quite an abusive environment.

Ugh... Oh! Jonny!

Ha-ha! Yee-haw!

He's totally laughing!

Oh!
Oh!

I love the "stupid tits"
coming from off-camera!

MARTIN: Stupid tits!

It's a very technical performance.

I've got the chicken!
Quickly! Quickly!

Ooh-ooh-hoo! Ha-ha!

Can you...?

I've forgotten the fucking line!
It's Friday night, we'll eat what

I've made you, thank you very much.

So, we'll just have beans for
dinner, shall we? Yeah, just beans.

VIOLENT SNEEZE
Oh, my fuck!

THE CAST LAUGH
Oh...

That's a potential sort of hazard
of the show. You know,

my seat is across from Paul,
so he's got a big cough to do,

then there's a chance
that's gonna happen.

Oh, come on! Ahem...

So the main shards of glass have
gone. What about the less main

shards of glass? Yes, the ones that
won't fuck off! Oh, good, so the

main shards of glass have gone.
What about the less main shards

of glass? Yeah, still don't know
the line. Sorry! Ha-ha! Wilson and I

send our deepest, deepest con...

considerations...

Commiserations... Oh, fuck off!

Oh, fuckin' hell!

♪ There was a frog lived
in a well. Dee-dee... ♪

Oh, fuck off!
He's very sweary, isn't he, Heap?

He says "fuck off" a lot when
he can't remember the lines.

Oh, fuck off.

Mrs Goodes... Oh, fuck off.

I just say "fuck off"
all the time, don't I?

What do you think, eh, Dad?

Well, you won't... Oh, fuck off!

HE LAUGHS
That's all it is! 90% is going,

"Oh, fuck off!"
If I had to pick

my favourite, it's the paint, yeah.

I was really afraid
that I was going to laugh,

so we got a proper telling off by
Martin Dennis and Robert Popper,

who said, "This red paint
is going to go everywhere.

"We don't have the time,
or the money, or the space

"to do this again."

Right, quiet, please!

Are you happy, Martin? OK!

Set, boys? Set. Set. Set.

But if you look at all of our faces,
you can just see how strong

we are all being.

Let me just...move
this out of the way

for you. Ooh, be careful!

THEY SCREAM

JIM GASPS
You shitting tit!

Oh, Jesus! Ugh! So much blood!

There's so much blood!
It's paint, Jim!

So much paint! Just don't move, Jim.

I can't see! No, no, don't touch
anything! I mustn't touch

anything. No! Like the wall!
JIM COUGHS

Agh! Or the TV! Oh!

TV! If that's oil paint,
it'll never come off!

Oil paint! Erm... Please tell me
it's not oil paint.

Please tell me it's
not oil paint! OK,

it's not oil paint. Is it oil paint?
Yes, it's oil paint. Oh!

Agh...

OK? Ugh...

Cut!
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Woo!

Friday Night Dinner has it all.

You've got funny characters...
Argh!

Chicken?
..rapid-fire dialogue...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

..slapstick...
Agh! Oh!

..and, of course...
Lovely bit of squirrel.

..catchphrases.
I'm not

a huge fan of catchphrases...

SHE LAUGHS

..and then, I suddenly turn up in
a show called Friday Night Dinner,

which turns out to be
littered with them.

Hi, bambinos. Hello, bambinos.

Lovely bit of squirrel.

A lovely bit of squirrel beef.

Females. Females? Yes, females. Oh.

Shalom.
Shalom...

Crimble Crumble is one.

Crimble Crumble. Crimble Crumble.

I do like "Skill McGill".

Skill McGill! Oh, you bastard! What
was that? Ha-ha! Oh, it's eye drops.

Oh, it's potato.

And it also has that thing where you
vary how you say it. Skill McGill!

Skill McGill! Ha-ha!

Why say something new, if you could
say something old, in a new way?

Slanderers! Ooh!

Funny thing he's got
about slandering.

But there is one, more than

any other, which has caught

the imagination of the nation.

Shit on it!

Shit on it!
SHE LAUGHS

Never heard anybody else say that,
apart from as Martin.

Shit on it! Oh, shit on it!

My dad used to say, "Shit on it,"

that was his thing,
which I thought was an actual thing.

Oh, shit, shit, shit!

Are you all right? Agh! Shit on it!
Shit on the bloody thing!

Sorry.
The intention wasn't

to create catchphrases as... And
I think that's often how the best

catchphrases come about. They're
sort of created by the audience.

Hello! Shit on it!

After ten years on our screens,

fans of Friday Night Dinner

have taken the catchphrases to
their hearts and love nothing more

than dressing up as their favourite
characters and giving it some.

Shalom!

You look nice.

Little talking man!

Yes, no, I just thought
I'd let you know

that your doorbell isn't working.

Is your mother in?

Er, no, Jim, she's not coming out.

Wilson has been a very
naughty girl recently.

Shalom to you all!

Students up and down the country

have found the catchphrases
the perfect way

to show the outside world
how they feel, especially

when it came to the lockdowns
in 2020.

It's really great,

in a way, that our show's
taken over in

tertiary education. But also, maybe
they should be doing slightly more

studying and slightly less watching
what is ultimately a cartoon.

But why put catchphrases on your
windows when you can put them

on your arms?
I'm astonished.

People have got them on...

private bits and things.

It's a bit of a responsibility,
isn't it?

Anywhere I go, Friday Night Dinner
is the topic of conversation,

the foot has to come out.

Is it easy to get rid
of tattoos these days?

I've got no idea.

No, it's good fun. Then I can

haunt them through their artwork...

..for the rest of their lives.

At the end of Series Six,
the boys had finally

settled down with some females

and had their own kids on the way.

In all families, real and fictional,

the revolving door of
birth and death is inevitable.

And while the tragic passing of
Paul Ritter means the Goodmans

have lost a loving father
and husband, it also means

we have lost a man
loved by those who met him.

One of the most talented
actors of his generation,

and someone who will live on
in all our memories.

Thank you for watching the show,

this tenth anniversary
of Friday Night Dinner,

and thank you for all your support
over the last ten years,

and especially over
the last few weeks.

Keep watching and enjoying
the shows, keep enjoying life

and, most especially, keep laughing.

Thank you.

Oh, Martin!

Dad! Uh...

Shit on it!

♪ I change shapes just
to hide in this place

♪ But I'm still, I'm
still an animal

♪ Nobody knows it
but me when I slip

♪ Yeah, I slip, I'm
still an animal

♪ I change shapes just
to hide in this place

♪ But I'm still, I'm
still an animal... ♪

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