Original subtitles

I'm going now.

Sorry.

Okay, bye.

Love you.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com

[SNIFFLES]

Nicholas?

- What are you doing down there? - Um...

I, just, um...

Sittin' on the floor. That's what I do.

I'm a floor-sitter now.

Have you seen Alex?

I need help lifting the table.

NICHOLAS: No, Alex left. He dumped me actually, yep.

He broke up with you?

- Yeah. - Ugh.

Why on Earth would he do something like that

to someone as decent as you?

Uh, he, um, he thinks I don't love him.

That is... absurd.

He said we were "in different movies."

Why couldn't I tell?

Uh, man, if he didn't feel loved by me,

then I don't know what hope I have

because that was the hardest I've ever worked to try

and show someone I love them. Like, that was my best.

I definitely, like, I gave him my best.

It appears there was a pretty major disconnect.

Yes, that's what I'm tryin' to say, yeah.

Yeah.

Nicholas, may I tell a story?

Why not?

When Drea was seven, I lost my mom.

And I cried a lot. Drea...

didn't show much emotion. She just kept asking,

"What do you need? What do you need?"

- Well, that's sweet. - It was.

But one day I just...

I just snapped.

And... I shouted,

"The only thing I need

is not to be the only sad person in this house!"

I said that to a, to a child.

And Drea,

she just looked up at me, and she said,

"I feel sad you have more sad than me,

which is why I wanna help."

Drea cared about my mom, she cared about me,

she just cared in a different way.

We know now that's because her brain

works differently from other people's brains.

You know not worse, just different.

The only problem was that...

sometimes people didn't understand this

and they often interpret her actions more harshly

than the truth of her intentions.

Uh-huh.

I made you a mimosa.

Suze, I don't think that story offered me

the clarity you hoped it would.

Well, maybe that's what's happening here.

Nicholas...

It's starting to look more and more likely

that you are autistic.

What?

Suze, what the hell?

Oh, no. Okay.

I'm s... I'm sorry. Yeah, I've...

No, I have the bad timing.

I was just tryin' to help you feel less confused.

Suze, dude. Nah.

- Nah, man. - Okay.

- Okay. - [DOOR OPENS]

I didn't know we were allowed to be in here.

Welcome.

I'm not well.

They're so high-pitched.

Have you ever noticed that?

Alex dumped me and Suze thinks I'm autistic.

What?

Well, Alex felt disconnected from Nicholas.

No. No, I'm-I'm sorry, Suze. He's not autistic.

- He's just a bad boyfriend. - Thank you.

Oh, dear. I've created a snowball, haven't I?

- No, no snowballs. - [DOOR OPENS]

Aha! There you are.

I'm just gonna get the colander.

- Nicholas... - No.

- Toby. Toby. - TOBY: All right, I'll get it.

Nicholas has just had his very heart torn in two,

and tossed carelessly into a dumpster

by a deeply inconsiderate Alex,

who we are absolutely not a fan of.

Oh, Nicholas...

Oh, buddy, I'm-I'm so sorry.

Aah! You were such a great couple.

You know, it's such a shame.

You brought the chaos, he brought the order.

This is so sad.

Nicholas, love is a crazy game.

Okay, it's not a game per se, but it...

I'm sorry.

I don't why this is affecting me so much.

It's because it's-it's sad, Toby.

- It is, it's so sad. - [DOOR CLOSES]

[SNIFFLES]

Why are people crying?

'Cause they're happy for us.

[LAUGHS] Yeah, that's 'cause we are so happy.

- SUZE: Yes, we are! - Yeah.

BARB: Moss family?

Are you guys hiding from me?

I noticed that Alex left.

And I was wondering if you guys

would be cool and give me a ride home?

Yeah, we can give you a ride home.

[SNIFFLES]

[SIGHS]

I'm sorry it's so messy.

I really thought I cleaned up,

but, yeah, I mean, I guess I didn't.

Don't even worry about it.

I'll get out of your way. Yeah.

Standing felt formal, but no, it's fine.

I guess I'll stand.

Whatever is comfortable. I'll be done in a minute.

Is that like all your stuff?

Yeah.

Did you like never move in?

I moved in.

It's not like you offered me a drawer or anything.

Was I supposed to offer you a drawer?

I think so.

But you have a drawer.

Well, yeah, eventually, just took one without asking.

Of course. Why ask? Who cares?

I don't know, Nicholas.

Maybe with the next guy offering them a drawer

would make them feel more welcome?

But... I never offered you a drawer

because you've got a drawer.

You go in there, you fuss about

and you come back in different clothes. A good system.

Do you even know where I kept my stuff?

No. I didn't look into it 'cause it's not interesting.

You go over there, you do a menial task,

and I sit here on my phone. It's nice.

Sorry, I didn't realize

this had such emotional stakes for you.

Just put things wherever you want.

There's so much space to put things.

Oh, I took up as much space

as was there for me, Nicholas.

Oh, I see. Are we doing a metaphor?

And the drawer is that I didn't open up a piece of me

for you to put stuff in? Because, actually,

that's very confusing.

'Cause actually I've opened up so much of me

and you've put so much in me, and I took it.

I took it, and I know...

Look, I know it sounds like I'm talking about penises.

But I'm not talking about penises.

I'm talking about feelings.

And also I'm probably talking about penises.

You're trying to be all funny and clever

to distract me from my very real and valid feelings.

But it doesn't work anymore.

Okay. Fine.

Are you getting along?

Yes.

Very well.

I'm relieved.

Because Alex is one of my best friends.

And, Alex...

I want you to come to the wedding.

I made you an invitation.

And...

it wouldn't be the same without you.

Please come to my wedding.

Hmm.

I wouldn't dare miss it.

I guess we won't have sex?

Do you even want it?

I can't tell.

Maybe with blindfolds.

Nicholas?

Is that my sweet sister Genevieve

come to rescue me from the feelings?

So, the thing is...

Um, maybe...

maybe you are autistic.

I thought I knew everything about autism

because of Matilda, but...

Actually I think I don't know much about autism.

I just know everything about Matilda.

So, if-if you need... to, um...

No.

Okay.

Yeah, you can just keep hiding.

NICHOLAS: Thank you.

Mm-hmm. Right, so, um...

So there are these tests.

Uh, these screening tests, and so I did them,

um, as you in character. And, well...

they say that me masquerading as you...

have some autistic tendencies.

Genevieve, I'm already gay and I have ADHD.

I don't need any more stigmas.

You're almost rich enough to call them eccentricities.

It's just that...

You have difficulty interpreting

how others are feeling and thinking,

and your social anxiety.

NICHOLAS: Name one social situation

you don't wish was canceled.

Also...

you got that strange accent

and also you're an entomologist,

you collect insects.

Nicholas, you collect insects.

- NICHOLAS: My accent's Australia. - It isn't though, is it?

NICHOLAS: Yeah.

I've seen "The Crocodile Hunter," and it ain't you.

NICHOLAS: Crikey.

Yeah, um...

No.

Another time.

How's he doing? Any better?

Yes, Matilda, very good. Excited for the wedding.

Do you have any questions

about the tasks that I emailed you?

No. Nope. All good.

Great!

Go, Team Matilda!

- Team Matilda. - Matilda.

Yes!

I didn't read the email. I didn't read it.

She has you down for an ambitious amount of carpentry.

GENEVIEVE: "Bullies often targeted me in grade school."

Very often.

Um...

"I get so absorbed in a detail I lose sight of the whole."

Very often.

"I have a hairstyle

others might consider eccentric."

"I prefer to read non-fiction over fiction."

Well, I don't know how I'm supposed to care

that some made-up character

cares what some other made-up character did.

"I can easily create a picture of something in my mind."

I don't know. I don't know.

Well, how easy is it supposed to be to create a picture?

Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Well, you say something and I'll imagine it.

Um, a bird.

Okay.

Yeah, good. Done. Easy.

What type of bird is it?

Well, I don't know.

I don't know.

- I don't wanna do this anymore. - Okay.

"I find it difficult to make or maintain eye contact."

Yes.

Unless I'm trying to trick someone into falling in love with me.

"I enjoy collecting information on the categories of things."

Yes.

"I am often captivated by running water."

What?

Really?

Yeah.

Everyone is. Aren't they?

Everyone loves running water.

People love a brook, don't they? Don't you love a brook?

Look, it's really not easy for me to work out

how much I'm supposed to speak during this.

[SIGHS]

When I was in the third grade sometimes I'd throw myself

off the top bunk of the bed

because all the kids at school with casts were so popular

and I thought if I broke my arm that that would make me popular.

Okay.

Seems pretty misguided.

Yeah.

SUZE: Category is...

mother of the bride!

TOBY: We are ready.

- Yes, please. - SUZE: All right.

[LAUGHING]

Ooh!

- SUZE: Can you believe it? - NICHOLAS: Oh.

Wow!

It's a knockoff, but you can't even tell.

Honey, are you sure that's the right size?

What are you trying to say, Toby?

Uh, I mean, don't I look pretty?

Maybe we should email somebody.

To say thank you?

[LAUGHS] Can you believe it?

[SUZE AND NICHOLAS LAUGHING]

Ooh-ooh-ooh.

You guys are pretty good friends, huh?

- Hmm? - Yeah.

Yeah, I think they might be your only friends.

Hmm.

"It's difficult to imagine

what it would be like to be someone else."

Yes.

For example, some people like cats and videos of cats.

I'm trying to be neutral,

but I have to agree you're terrible at it.

I have to add it up.

How are you feeling?

I'm thinking about getting those Korean fish pastries.

- Yes, please. - Of course.

[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY]

When I was a kid,

my ma, she was always sending me to hearing tests.

I spent my whole childhood in a booth

wearing huge headphones, being asked if I could hear the beep.

And...

it was always a, "Yeah, yeah, I can hear the beep.

I can hear..." I actually have amazing hearing.

And then, uh...

I don't know, she was always, like, so disappointed

to find out I wasn't deaf.

That's not normal.

GENEVIEVE: No.

[KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING]

It says you're autistic.

Like... Like, a bit?

Hmm...

Yeah, quite high, like...

like, above borderline.

Right.

Mm-hmm. [CLICKS TONGUE]

- Do you want custard? - Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So...

What?

- What's going on with you? - Well...

Um...

I feel sort of weezle-wozzle, don't I?

It's just so hard to know

if I answered those questions right.

Nicholas, you answered those questions right.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

I just think that, actually, if you ask me again

to mention a specific bird,

I could do it, I'll do it.

I'm imagining a rainbow lorikeet.

It's rainbow, and...

Yeah, I don't like talking to new people,

but nobody does. Who likes talking to new people?

It's crazy to like talking to new people.

And, yeah, I don't like the sound of fans.

I really don't like it,

but it seems pretty intense to take that

and parlay it into me being,

quite suddenly, autistic. Doesn't it?

Honestly, I don't wanna be autistic, okay?

Because then everyone's gonna look at me

and they're gonna think, "Oh, that's Nicholas. He's autistic."

When I used to just be Nicholas.

I thought this family was all like,

"Autistic Pride," et cetera.

Yeah.

So what am I missing?

Well...

It's easier to be proud for somebody else

than it is for yourself, isn't it?

It just is.

[RATTLING]

Should I help?

No, I have to learn.

- Are you curious what I brought? - Not yet.

- NICHOLAS: It's a picnic. - MATILDA: I'm not hungry.

- Ohh! - [SIGHS]

NICHOLAS: Oh, la, la!

Wow!

Which color?

What vibe are you going for?

Happy, independent, feminine.

You know, I just really love this soft blue.

Nicholas...

- that's my favorite too! - What?

- Yes. - That's your favorite?

- Yes. - And it's my favorite?

Get outta town. What's it called?

We don't know because we forgot to mark down

which paint matches which paints.

- But we have a plan. - What's the plan?

To repaint all the splotches

and remember to mark down which is which this time.

Wow.

That's a good plan.

Isn't it?

Sorted that right out.

Can you believe how good this picnic I got for us is?

I've decided not to bring my piano,

so I have an excuse to leave

if Drea annoys me.

- So just nothing about the picnic? - It's good.

Can you get me another one so I can do this with Drea

and pretend like it was my idea?

Yes, I can. Yeah.

[LAUGHS] Babe, do you mind if we, um,

talk about me for a second?

You don't have to ask permission to not talk about me.

[SIGHS] I just... Um, there's something I wanna tell you

and I-I thought maybe I could get your advice.

Of course.

Well, I think that maybe I might also be autistic.

No.

No?

No, I don't think so.

Can you pass the quince paste?

[LAUGHS] Wait. Wait, wait, wait, but...

don't you wanna hear more about why I think that?

You're just messy because you have ADHD

and you don't follow things through.

I think the ADHD has been a distraction.

[SIGHS]

Were you diagnosed with autism?

- Well, no. - You're not autistic.

Hmm.

I think I might be.

It's very offensive

when people who aren't diagnosed pretend they're autistic

to get away with their bad behavior.

Yeah. Okay, but...

I don't think that's what's going on here.

Why are you so sure?

Because you're fine.

You've always been fine.

Well, I guess that's nice that you think that,

and I agree that I've always been like a happy guy,

but I, um...

You're not autistic, I promise.

But I think maybe I am.

Why?

Well... Okay, um...

You know, like, yeah, I appear fine,

but that's because I put an embarrassing amount of work

into camouflaging how confused I am

and how twitchy I am,

and just generally stopping myself

from behaving the way I wanna behave and...

I don't know, I feel like maybe Alex was the first person

I let in close enough to see through that performance and...

I sort of...

I thought...

everyone was doing as much work as me,

but it turns out, no, it turns out some people,

well, actually most people

just know how to be.

And, um, well, yeah, I didn't realize.

Yes.

Do you know the emotion that I'm talking about?

That I appear fine but it's fake. Right?

It's-it's a performance. It's...

- Yes. - Exhausting.

Yeah. Yes.

Yes, I know it.

Well, okay.

Okay, fine.

You're likely autistic.

Yeah.

Great.

Uh, I wanna show you the shower curtain we had made.

It has our faces on it.

Okay. Yes, please.

Wow!

Very elegant.

_

_

RECEPTIONIST: Nicholas?

There are more pages behind the front page.

NICHOLAS: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Yeah, there's so many more pages.

No, I can fill this out, but I'm so late already.

Should I... Should I do this after?

RECEPTIONIST: We need you to do it before the appointment.

NICHOLAS: Okay.

No, that makes sense, yeah.

Ohh.

Well, what is that?

Give me it. Give me. Give me.

It-it's a gift for you.

A lizard?

Um, more specifically, an emotional support lizard.

Right. And that's for me, is it?

- Yes. - Is that for me?

- Yeah. - That's my lizard?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To help with your autism.

Well, that's interesting, isn't it? Because, um,

you're always asking me to buy you a lizard?

- So... - Oh.

So it seems like...

- No. No, no, no. - No?

That-that was just a phase. I've outgrown it.

Oh.

Terrible timing.

It's actually a thoughtful gift for you

because he eats bugs and you're an entomologist.

Yes. I mean, of course.

That just makes sense, doesn't it?

How many times have you heard me say,

"If you love something, feed it alive to a predator"?

A cute little lizard pet.

What better way to make an autistic house

an autistic home?

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