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1
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:04,480
[squawks]
2
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:08,143
[♪♪♪]
3
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:15,578
Look lively, ye filthy dogs!
4
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:16,674
Keel the jibs!
5
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,062
Shiver the timbers!
6
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,665
Fire the cannons!
7
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,585
We are.
8
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:22,850
Oh, is that
what that noise is?
9
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,072
Yaaarrrbo!
10
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,941
It's high time
I split your carcass
11
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,682
from crown to crotch.
12
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,157
Bring it on, Fat Beard!
13
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,155
Fat Beard?
14
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,116
I don't have a beard.
15
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,603
Distracted you!
16
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:35,863
Ow! What the hell?
17
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:38,295
Jeez, Hank, it's
a game of Battleship,
18
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,132
not friggin' Karateship!
19
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,220
Sorry, Brent.
20
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:42,778
My imagination
got away from me.
21
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:43,865
You shouted "Fat Beard".
22
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,573
What does that mean?
23
00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,260
No, I said... Bat beard.
24
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:50,138
Like, uh, Batman...
with whiskers.
25
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,230
Oh. Well, that
makes sense, then.
26
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:55,749
♪ You'd think
there's not a lot going on ♪
27
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:56,844
♪ Look closer
28
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,232
♪ Baby, you're so wrong ♪
29
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:04,497
Sorry again
30
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,802
about punching you
in the noggin earlier.
31
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,238
Ah, no biggie.
32
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:09,114
Did you just use
the term "no biggie"
33
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,106
in relation
to your head?
34
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:11,377
I'm just glad
35
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:12,989
we weren't playing
Hungry Hungry Hippos.
36
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,729
You might've sacked me
in the marbles.
37
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:15,950
Did you just use
the term "marbles"
38
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,078
in relation
to your...
39
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,340
Whatcha talking
about, guys?
40
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,082
Hank punched Brent
in the nose.
41
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,123
Really?
42
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,128
So you showed up
just in time
43
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,389
to see Brent
punch Hank.
44
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:24,431
-What?
-What?
45
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,125
If Brent
doesn't punch Hank back,
46
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,653
this will fester.
47
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:31,176
It'll rot away at your souls
like a case of soul-rot.
48
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,311
Oh no.
49
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,143
I don't want
soul-rot!
50
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:35,971
I also don't want
to get punched.
51
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,178
Oh, relax, Hank.
52
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,357
Brent's not going to--
53
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,492
Wanda makes a
strong point, Hank,
54
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,454
so to save
our friendship,
55
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,492
I will punch you
square in the face.
56
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,322
Aw, dammit.
57
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:47,317
Okay.
58
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:48,758
Put 'er there, pal.
59
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,024
Make it quick.
60
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:50,936
Oh, no, no.
61
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,070
Not now.
62
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,422
Not tonight,
63
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:54,551
but someday...
64
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,553
soon...
65
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:01,556
and you'll never know
when it's coming.
66
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,821
[group]:
Here's to fall 'n' friends!
67
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:08,133
Yeah, hard to believe
Wes passed away.
68
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:08,951
Wes is dead?
69
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,218
Since when?
70
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,700
I thought that's what
you were toasting.
71
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,050
You said
"fallen" friends.
72
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,869
We were saying
"fall" and "friends",
73
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,438
like autumn
and camaraderie.
74
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,095
But sure,
Wes was a good guy.
75
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,139
We all have
our favourite Wes memories.
76
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,234
Hey, Wes.
77
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,225
Gimme a case of Pil.
78
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,756
A 26 of gin, please.
79
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:29,189
Purse-sized vodka.
80
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,146
Tequila grande,
por favor!
81
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,374
Did I leave my gloves
in here?
82
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:34,204
Yep...
83
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,591
great guy, ol' Wes.
84
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,643
Yeah, when he wasn't
stealing your gloves.
85
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,250
I heard he barely left anything
for his widow.
86
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,471
How does a guy
87
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:43,690
who ran a liquor and insurance
store
88
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,118
not have any life insurance?
89
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,375
Someone call Alanis
90
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,257
and tell her
that's ironic.
91
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,078
Good lord,
that was the '90s.
92
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,516
Get over it already!
93
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:52,432
Is-- Is that...
94
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:53,426
That's Shirley.
95
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:55,037
She's a huge Alanis fan.
96
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,387
Even dresses like her.
97
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:57,737
So, to be clear,
98
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,566
you're saying that is not
Alanis Morissette.
99
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,234
In my legal opinion, no.
100
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,879
Well, I'm just glad
Oscar and I
101
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,842
have a good
life insurance policy.
102
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:06,841
Life insurance?
103
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,192
I cancelled that.
104
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,541
Without discussing it
with me?
105
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,190
We're discussing it now.
106
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,244
Life insurance
is a scam.
107
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,850
Now if you want to kill me
in my sleep,
108
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,890
maybe you'll think twice.
109
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,195
Twice at the most.
110
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,111
We should have a fundraiser
for Wes' widow.
111
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,106
We should?
112
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:22,377
Well, of course.
113
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,119
Isn't that how things work
in a small town?
114
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,820
Then it's settled.
115
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,558
[enthusiastically]
To Wes' widow!
116
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:29,949
[all flatly]
To Wes' widow.
117
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:30,952
-Oh, sure.
-Yeah.
118
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:32,343
-Well, I guess so.
-Widow.
119
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,906
[♪♪♪]
120
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,569
Ugh.
121
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,868
These new uniforms
are so thick and starchy,
122
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,865
they're practically
Lacey's soup of the day.
123
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,048
Yours bugging you too?
124
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,883
No. I gotta pee.
125
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,621
[sighs] Fine. I'll pull over
and you can go in the ditch.
126
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,403
Isn't that the best part
of being a guy?
127
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:53,227
That, and the higher pay
for no particular reason.
128
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,980
[sighs] Why is this
taking so long?
129
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,720
I can't go
with you talking to me.
130
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,632
I didn't realize
you had such a shy bladder.
131
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:06,248
Do you realize
you're still talking to me?
132
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,729
Go off into
those trees, then.
133
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:10,549
Unless you're scared a squirrel
might catch a peek.
134
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,340
[unzips]
135
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:14,913
[goes]
136
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:18,612
[chitters]
137
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,308
Hey. Brent here?
138
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,314
I don't know.
Probably.
139
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,565
He owns the joint.
140
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:30,837
He's gonna pop out
from behind something
141
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:31,919
and punch me
square in the face,
142
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:32,877
isn't he?
143
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:33,804
Here's hoping.
144
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:34,668
Morning,
Hank.
145
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,669
Ahh!
146
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,970
Bit jumpy, aren't you?
147
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,315
Yeah, you would be too
if you knew
148
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,535
your best friend was gonna
punch you in the face
149
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,633
at any moment.
150
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,371
Oh yeah.
I forgot about that.
151
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,073
Ah, well...
all in good time.
152
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,850
No need
to rush into these things when--
153
00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:47,765
[gasps] Aah!
154
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,029
Relax.
155
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,991
I was just reaching
for a bag of chips.
156
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,859
Ah, you're just trying
to freak me out.
157
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,381
No, I'm not.
158
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,514
Now, just lean in a bit,
159
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,596
because my new puppet,
Mr. Fister,
160
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:58,725
wants to tell you
a secret.
161
00:04:58,776 --> 00:04:59,776
Heya, Hank.
162
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:00,741
Give us a kiss.
163
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,078
Forget it, Fister!
164
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,037
[footsteps recede]
165
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,165
[chuckles]
166
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,696
This is working out
wonderfully.
167
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,520
Yeah, except you might
want to change the name
168
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:08,868
of Mr. Fister.
169
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,957
Why? It rhymes.
170
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,838
Jeez, how long does it take
to...
171
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,449
Davis!
172
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:17,620
Let's go!
173
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,355
Are you having zipper trouble,
or--
174
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,316
Oop!
175
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,454
An old-fashioned
booze still?
176
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,327
Yep. Rum, I think.
177
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,408
[slurps]
178
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,586
So you're just
helping yourself?
179
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:29,111
Had to fire it up
to see if it works.
180
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,984
Not illegal
unless it works.
181
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,676
I guess that makes sense.
182
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,253
You might
want to get up.
183
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,070
That's right around
where I peed.
184
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:39,988
I can't believe Oscar
cancelled our life insurance.
185
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,945
Now I have to re-apply.
186
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,873
What if he drops dead
before then?
187
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,738
What if, Heaven forbid,
188
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,780
you go before Oscar?
189
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:49,264
I've never been lucky that way.
190
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:50,825
Hey,
how are the fundraising ideas
191
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:51,832
coming along
192
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,403
for Wes' widow?
193
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,360
All the good fundraising ideas
have been done in town.
194
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,398
Dunk tank
to help drought victims!
195
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:01,095
Bake sale to fight diabetes!
196
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,233
Barn burning
197
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,494
to raise money
for a barn raising!
198
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:08,058
I don't get how burning a barn
even raises money.
199
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,456
It's complicated.
200
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,239
The fundraisers all seem
a little weirdly ironic,
201
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,244
don't you think?
202
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,845
You know what would
be ironic?
203
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:18,986
A double murder in a small town
with no witnesses!
204
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,120
Not really.
205
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,602
Dammit! [slam, sigh]
206
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:22,902
Anyway...
207
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,297
I'll probably just end up
doing a 50/50 draw.
208
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:26,521
50/50 draw?
209
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,950
Those are a scam!
210
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,516
Everything's a scam to you.
211
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,743
Lacey, I'll gladly
give you a hand
212
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,352
if it'll help Wes' widow
and annoy Oscar.
213
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,004
Well, that's great!
214
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,917
Oh, we can do three tickets
for five bucks,
215
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:40,012
or 20 bucks
for an arm's length.
216
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,531
Offer not available
to Long-Arm Charlie.
217
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,265
[yells] Why not?
218
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,575
Oof! [dishes crash]
219
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,410
Oh, hi, Emma.
220
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,542
Hi, Fitzy.
221
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:52,934
We're raising money
to help Wes' widow.
222
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,147
You bet!
223
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,456
Anything I can do
to help out a widow.
224
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:58,982
So you'd donate money to me
if Oscar died?
225
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,637
Hang on, it sounds
like this is for you.
226
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:02,992
I was just asking.
227
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,121
This feels like a trap.
228
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,433
You mean you'd help her
but not me?
229
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,692
Because
that's what it sounds like!
230
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:16,475
I'm burning up
in this stupid uniform.
231
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,003
I think it's asbestos!
232
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:21,396
If it's asbestos,
you can't burn, genius!
233
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,961
I'm going to town
for some bottles.
234
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,177
What do we need
bottles for?
235
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,096
We need to do
a proper inventory
236
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:29,711
of exactly how much illegality
is going on here.
237
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,493
Why don't I go into town
for the bottles,
238
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,668
and you stay here
and test the rum
239
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,284
to see what proof it is?
240
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:38,554
Because a higher proof
makes it more illegal.
241
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,718
Nice work, rookie.
242
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,553
One... two... three...
243
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,465
Aah!
244
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:47,419
Three.
245
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,337
Aah!
246
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,690
And how is this going,
247
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,210
whatever this is
that you're doing?
248
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,083
I'm trying to prepare
for Brent's punch
249
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,954
by punching myself
in the face,
250
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,206
but I'm too good
at ducking.
251
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,128
Aah!
252
00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,392
Oof! [dishes crash]
253
00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,744
Come on!
254
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,263
Oh, this is ridiculous.
255
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,566
Nobody's going to punch you.
256
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,872
Better safe than sorry.
257
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,138
You probably
258
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,570
should build up
a good face-callous.
259
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,306
Here, let me draw you
a target.
260
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,659
Oh...
261
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,667
A target, huh?
262
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:15,279
You just gave me
a better idea.
263
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,890
Better than punching yourself?
264
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,322
Okay, everyone.
265
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,408
We're starting a 50/50 draw
to help Wes' widow.
266
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,547
There's word
going around
267
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,239
these 50/50 draws
are a Ponzi scheme.
268
00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:26,237
It's not
a Ponzi scheme!
269
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,458
It's simple.
270
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,807
If you win, you get
50% of the money.
271
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,946
Don't like those odds.
272
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:31,988
[sighs] Look,
I'll start things off
273
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,343
by buying a wingspan
for myself.
274
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:35,303
Who's next?
275
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:36,560
Not fair
276
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,873
if you can't even use
your own arms!
277
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:41,299
I heard it's
some kind of scheme.
278
00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:42,516
You heard it
from him!
279
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,345
Oh!
280
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,002
What are you
gonna do?
281
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,396
Just watch.
282
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,828
High-five
283
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,395
if your favourite kind of dog
is a chili-cheese dog.
284
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:50,491
I heard that!
285
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,188
Ha! You hit me!
286
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:57,191
Now we're even!
287
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,152
What?
288
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,499
No way. That's not fair!
289
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,579
Fair schmair,
buddy boy.
290
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:01,577
It's all over.
291
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:02,888
You're my witness,
Wanda.
292
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:03,893
Witness to what?
293
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:04,894
That was a slap.
294
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:05,885
She's right.
295
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,546
A slap isn't a punch.
296
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,290
I mean, babies get slapped
when they're five seconds old.
297
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,731
You ever see a doctor
punch a baby?
298
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,083
Are we doing this, or what?
299
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,119
[gulp]
300
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,604
I can't even imagine it.
301
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,914
No, we're back at square one,
like Wanda said.
302
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,430
Well... I didn't say that.
303
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,133
You still owe Hank a punch.
304
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,611
But now Hank owes you
a slap.
305
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:26,171
Oh-ho-ho, baby!
306
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,697
I get to slap
that big meaty mug
307
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:28,921
whenever I want.
308
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,659
This is gonna
be great.
309
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,050
It'll be the greatest spectacle
in the history of Dog River,
310
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:37,045
and I shall call it...
Slappunchalooza!
311
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:40,098
[laughs, snorts]
312
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,064
Slap-punch a loser.
313
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,023
Get it?
314
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:43,970
No.
315
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,978
Yeah, well, you simpleton.
316
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:53,243
Mm, yep,
at least 80 proof.
317
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,508
You've been a naughty boy.
318
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:56,331
I'm back,
319
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,338
and I brought
these.
320
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,430
We don't want our uniforms
smelling like booze
321
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,119
when we bring it
to the evidence locker.
322
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:05,036
You're really thinking
like a senior officer today,
323
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:05,912
Karen.
324
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,003
Put this on too.
325
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,001
Why?
326
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,222
It came
with the overalls.
327
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,610
...could punch
someone too...
328
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,054
[crowd murmuring]
329
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,270
[pounding on door]
330
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:18,182
[Western movie music
and sound effects]
331
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,931
Brent.
332
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:27,023
Hank.
333
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,851
Lovely weather
we're having.
334
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,329
Fair to middling.
335
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,588
Radio was saying
336
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,811
we might get a bit of rain
in the... south!
337
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,460
[crowd gasps]
338
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,984
[crowd]: Aww...
339
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,547
You're pointing north.
340
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,774
Just so you know,
341
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,423
I'm not worried
about your little slap.
342
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,206
You ever hear the term
"slap on the wrist"?
343
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:46,081
It literally means "a soft,
insignificant punishment
344
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,653
doled out by a simpleton
in a backward ballcap".
345
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:51,871
Yeah, well, "punch" means
a fruity refreshing drink,
346
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:54,132
so I'm not worried
either.
347
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:54,995
Papaya!
348
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,215
[crowd gasps]
349
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:57,664
[crowd]: Aw.
350
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:58,750
Come on.
351
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,698
You okay, pal? Huh?
352
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,357
We've got adult diapers
next door
353
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,450
if you need 'em.
354
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,578
I've got my own.
355
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:06,879
Wanda,
what's this nonsense
356
00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,187
about Brent and Hank
357
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,102
and the slapping
and the punching?
358
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,277
How'd you hear
about that?
359
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,282
From your mass text.
360
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,243
Good.
361
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,331
I was hoping
that would work.
362
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,679
It's been fun so far.
363
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,588
Well, it's disrupting
town business.
364
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,333
I had to wait five minutes
at the Foo Mart
365
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:20,464
because Won Hu
was betting
366
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:23,065
on who would
punch or slap who first.
367
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,157
Who put money on who?
368
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,155
Eventually.
369
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,336
So... people
are betting?
370
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,952
Keep 'em coming, boys.
371
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,692
20 on Hank
slapping Brent first.
372
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:32,693
40 says Brent
punches that loser.
373
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,555
Yes!
374
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:36,775
Slappunchalooza! Get it?
375
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,054
Wasting my genius here.
376
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,310
Who's next?
377
00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:43,572
Hey, Wanda,
want to buy a 50/50 ticket?
378
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:44,875
Can't. No cash.
379
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:45,971
[aggravated sigh]
380
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,099
[♪♪♪]
381
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,361
[counting quietly to self]
382
00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:50,414
[door opens]
383
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,448
Oh, hey, Brent.
384
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,103
You know
what I was thinking?
385
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,187
You wish
you were taller?
386
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,055
No.
387
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,015
Well, then,
I got nothing.
388
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:57,633
I was thinking
389
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,463
that you should punch Hank
in front of the whole town,
390
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,941
make a meal
out of it.
391
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,551
Well, I am always intrigued
by the notion of a meal,
392
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,901
but I'm having way too much fun
toying with Hank's mind,
393
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,381
such as it is.
394
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,251
Come on, we could make it
a public boxing match.
395
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,512
Charge for tickets.
396
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:10,694
Seriously?
397
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,600
I mean,
hasn't the boxing trope
398
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:12,823
been done a thousand times
399
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,602
in every lame sitcom?
400
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,256
Which this is not.
401
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,170
How about,
instead of a boxing ring,
402
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:19,955
we make it a fighting cage?
403
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,700
Ooh,
a refreshing new wrinkle.
404
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:25,749
That's the last one.
405
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,268
Let's bring this load
back to the station
406
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,051
and wrap this case up.
407
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:29,876
Wait!
408
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:30,883
Um...
409
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,884
don't these bottles need labels?
410
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:35,356
Something that indicates
what the evidence is
411
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:38,446
and which hero officer
seized it?
412
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,106
I'll go make some labels.
413
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,540
You are sharp as a tack today!
414
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,587
[quietly]
Good thing you aren't.
415
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:55,335
Wanda, how'd you
build this so fast?
416
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:56,343
Dunno.
417
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,434
Lately I feel
unrestrained
418
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,212
by the limitations
of real life.
419
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,646
Well, I need to sell
my 50/50 tickets,
420
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,093
so I hope
people show up.
421
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,090
Don't worry.
422
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,091
They will.
423
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,832
[wind whooshes]
424
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,483
[rustling]
425
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:10,879
[Lacey]: Wow.
426
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,620
How did you know
they'd come?
427
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:14,842
It's a sporting event.
428
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:15,931
In a cornfield.
429
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,229
Don't make me say it.
430
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,665
[crowd buzzing with excitement]
431
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:22,061
Ladies and gentlemen!
432
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:26,975
Welcome to the first annual
Dog River Slappunchalooza!
433
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,333
[crowd goes quiet]
434
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:31,642
Did you all
sleep through the '90s?
435
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:32,640
Fine.
436
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:33,511
In this corner,
437
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,031
weighing in
438
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,245
at less than a 10-year-old girl
with food poisoning,
439
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,643
Hank "The Septic Tank" Yarbo!
440
00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:39,687
[crowd shouts excitedly]
441
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:40,601
Hey!
442
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:41,855
Suck it up, jackass.
443
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,478
I've got 20 riding
on you slapping Brent first.
444
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,519
But if I slap first,
that'll make him mad,
445
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,744
and he'll punch me harder.
446
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:48,653
Hope so.
447
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,787
I got 50 riding on that.
448
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,790
And in this corner,
449
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,221
weighing in
450
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:56,007
at "Let's go swimming
but keep our t-shirts on",
451
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,322
Brent "The Cement" Leroy.
452
00:13:58,359 --> 00:13:59,879
The Cement?
453
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,706
I can't tell if
that's an insult or not,
454
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,633
but the t-shirt thing
was, right?
455
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:04,668
Assume it is.
456
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:05,853
Use the rage,
457
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,588
and remember
to keep your chin up
458
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:08,889
and your wallet open.
459
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:09,885
Wallet open?
460
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,326
Want to buy
some 50/50 tickets?
461
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,332
I'm kind of busy
right now.
462
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,503
[frustrated sigh]
463
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,418
All right,
no one leaves the cage
464
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,993
until someone
has been slapped or punched.
465
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,861
I might need to see
several slaps
466
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:20,772
and multiple punches
467
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,116
before I can call a winner,
468
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,205
so get in there
and mix it up!
469
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:26,912
All right,
this has gone far enough.
470
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,523
How about you slap me first
and I'll let you win?
471
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,484
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you, Mr. Fister?
472
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,183
Wow.
That does sound wrong.
473
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,531
Fight! Fight! Fight!
474
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:38,230
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight...
475
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:40,228
Looks like we're going
to be here a while.
476
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,010
Last one.
477
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,225
Let's get these loaded up
in the car
478
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:45,153
and back to the station.
479
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,148
Damn!
480
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,759
I mean, damn fine work.
481
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,190
"Sergeant Davis'
Spiced Evidence"?
482
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,408
Uh-oh.
483
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,846
That could be
copyright infringement.
484
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,853
Maybe you should redo
the labels.
485
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,545
Like, back
to square one.
486
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,772
I'll wait here.
487
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,550
[banjo tune plays]
488
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,466
Answer your phone.
489
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,508
Davis here.
490
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,946
Davis, get the
squad car over here.
491
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:11,744
We need some lights and sirens
to spice up this lame-o fight!
492
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,040
[crowd]:
Fight! Fight! Fight!
493
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:13,956
What?
494
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,310
I can't hear you
495
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,739
with everyone yelling
"Fight! Fight! Fight!"
496
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:19,345
There's a fight, in a cage,
in the cornfield!
497
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,786
Understood!
498
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,832
Oscar has mice full of rage
on his windshield.
499
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:23,968
What?
500
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:24,970
Let's go!
501
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,361
Angry mice.
502
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:29,891
You go first.
503
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,929
It's getting hot
out here.
504
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:32,934
No.
505
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:33,975
You know the saying.
506
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,240
Punch before slap
is total crap.
507
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:38,113
Slap before punch,
then we get lunch.
508
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,984
This isn't a fight.
509
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,326
It's practically a hug.
510
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,765
Somebody needs
to fight somebody.
511
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:44,942
That a challenge?
512
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,507
Fight!
Fight! Fight!
513
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,644
Huh...
514
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,336
Bare-knuckle fighting
in a cornfield?
515
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,394
Even worse.
516
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,387
Someone's breaking the law.
517
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,612
Lacey!
518
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:57,701
I'm shutting down
519
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,659
your Nigerian email
shell game con!
520
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:01,828
That's not even
a thing.
521
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:02,963
Hey, Davis,
522
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,005
10 bucks says
523
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,700
Brent falls asleep
standing up.
524
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:06,567
Ooh!
525
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:07,577
I'll take
that bet.
526
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,098
Oh, sure.
527
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,842
I can't sell 50/50 tickets,
but you can still gamble?
528
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:12,753
Still.
529
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:13,837
Still!
530
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,145
We left the still
unsupervised!
531
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:16,451
So?
532
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,797
Whoever owns it
could come back and hide it.
533
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:19,627
I'm going
to go get it.
534
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:20,724
It won't fit.
535
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:22,202
The trunk's full
of rum.
536
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:23,202
So? Unload it.
537
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,723
You're not going
to help me?
538
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:28,026
Someone has to keep an eye
on that swindler Lacey.
539
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,034
How far away
do you think I am?
540
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,026
[grunts]
541
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,037
Ooh-hoo, refreshments.
542
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,729
I'll give you 20 bucks
for a bottle.
543
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,076
I can't sell you
confiscated booze.
544
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,335
That's illegal.
545
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,217
Well, it's not like
you're in uniform.
546
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,519
How about
you give it to me
547
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:43,054
and I make donation
to the police fund?
548
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,049
Huh?
549
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,740
That does sound
less illegal.
550
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,217
[laughing and chatting]
551
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,087
I know...
552
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,357
Pretty good...
553
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,619
I don't think we're
the centre of attention
554
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,062
anymore.
555
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,879
What say we make this
a little more interesting?
556
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,187
You mean
bet on ourselves?
557
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,023
I meant take our pants off.
558
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,151
Oh.
559
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,243
No.
560
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,671
All right, here you go.
561
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:03,977
Enjoy.
562
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:09,334
Please don't tell me
you sold all the bootleg rum,
563
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:12,726
because I'm, like,
60 to 30% sure that's illegal.
564
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,730
Is it illegal
565
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:14,861
if the money buys us
566
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,823
new cotton/bamboo-blend
uniforms?
567
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,211
Besides,
568
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,214
everyone loves Sergeant Davis'
Spiced Evidence.
569
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:23,556
They do? All right!
570
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:26,257
[Hank]: Oh, that cloud
looks like a bunny.
571
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,826
That one
looks like two bunnies.
572
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,352
Oh yeah!
573
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:31,046
What are they doing
to each other?
574
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,573
Hey, nimrods.
575
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:33,436
Wrap this up!
576
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,787
Even I'm bored now.
577
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,876
Uh, yeah, we're still
fuzzy on the rules.
578
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:37,835
Okay.
579
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,012
Well, how about this?
580
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,538
Whoever
hits the other person first
581
00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:42,101
will get rum and a snack.
582
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,108
If we hit each other
at the same time,
583
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,929
can we both get rum
and a snack?
584
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:48,937
Mm... For a soft guy,
you drive a hard bargain.
585
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:50,807
[knuckles crack]
586
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,683
[♪♪♪]
587
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,950
[crowd gasps]
588
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,304
The hell?
589
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,043
It's a draw!
590
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,004
A draw?
591
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,131
What does that mean?
592
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,303
No one bet
on a draw,
593
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,388
so it means the bookie
keeps the cash.
594
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,917
[crowd groans]
595
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,350
What? This fight
was as much of a shakedown
596
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,006
as your 50/50 thing!
597
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,490
Aw, you people suck.
598
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,710
Next round of rum
is on me!
599
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:19,619
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
600
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:20,933
Oh, sure,
601
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,149
you like ol' Long-Arm Charlie
now, don't ya?
602
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,319
Karen! Davis!
603
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:25,544
Wes' widow.
604
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,152
Someone stole
my... art installation
605
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,193
from the woods!
606
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,537
Can you describe it?
607
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,106
Well, it's rusty metal,
608
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:32,943
and it stands on four legs
609
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,291
with a funnel and a spout
and...
610
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,590
Does this art installation
in the woods
611
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:37,857
make rum?
612
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:40,029
Why would an art installation
make...
613
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,025
Oh.
614
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:41,946
Fine.
615
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,380
Yes, I had a rum still.
616
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,426
It was my inheritance
when Wes died.
617
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,782
He said booze
is better than life insurance.
618
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,172
It's fun insurance.
619
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,385
Well, it's a shame
620
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,613
we'll never find
the dirty handsome punks
621
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:53,613
who stole it.
622
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:54,614
Let's go, Karen.
623
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,395
Wait, what's in
your trunk?
624
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,089
Nothing... dead body.
625
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,307
Really?
626
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,915
What's in
the bottles?
627
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,095
Vitamin water.
628
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,451
In other news,
629
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,320
the police fund
had a big year for donations,
630
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,362
and we'd like to give you...
631
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:09,968
this much money!
632
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,448
You raised
these funds for me?
633
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:13,278
Hey, I'm the one
who organized the fundraiser,
634
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,016
and we're doing the draw
right now.
635
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,756
Emma, how much
did you raise?
636
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,547
Let me count.
637
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:19,642
Nothing.
638
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,990
You didn't sell one ticket?
639
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,119
Why not?
640
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,951
I'm talking hypothetically.
641
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,598
If Oscar died,
would you give me money?
642
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:29,173
Would how he died
make a difference?
643
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,341
Wood chipper...
644
00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:31,866
Brutal and bloody.
645
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,169
How much can I
put you down for?
646
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:34,165
I don't know.
647
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,346
People are cheap.
648
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,391
Oh, fine,
we'll go with what I sold,
649
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:38,917
and the winning ticket
for the charity draw
650
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,220
for Wes' widow...
651
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,476
I have a name,
you know.
652
00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:45,308
...is 000 000 003.
653
00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:47,398
Oh! That's me! I won!
654
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:48,877
Yay!
655
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,356
I mean, you're the only one
who bought a ticket,
656
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:51,666
but whoo-hoo!
657
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:52,672
Whatever.
658
00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:54,023
10 bucks is 10 bucks!
659
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,022
Yeah, but you're going
to donate your half
660
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:55,933
to the widow,
661
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,367
what's-her-name.
662
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,593
That's what everybody does
when they win a 50/50.
663
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:00,813
That defeats
the whole purpose.
664
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,721
If I give her my share,
it's a total...
665
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:03,716
Oh.
666
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,807
I told you
it was a scam.
667
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:06,986
You guys
are the best.
668
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,121
Yeah.
669
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:09,213
Even Wanda
raised money for you.
670
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,121
She did?
671
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:11,425
She sure did.
672
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:12,861
Even the cash
673
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,207
she's currently stuffing
in her bra.
674
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,167
Anyone want to buy
a fighting cage?
675
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,736
I suppose I could use it
for the chickens.
676
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:20,833
[all clucking]
677
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,001
Yep...
678
00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:22,956
we should be safe
from the chickens
679
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:23,964
in here.
680
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:26,615
Why do they hate us?
681
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,620
They hate our freedom.
682
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,102
This is great.
683
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:31,191
There's enough money here
684
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,800
to replace Wes' rum still
685
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,540
and re-open
the insurance agency!
686
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:35,711
So I'll be able
687
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,576
to get a new
life insurance policy
688
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:40,757
before Oscar dies
a horrible, grisly death.
689
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:43,374
I'm doing
what now?
690
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,033
Yet again,
stealthy Hank-o-potamus
691
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:49,900
steals the delicious marble
from the ancient Brent-o-saurus.
692
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,294
So now
I'm an old dinosaur?
693
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,507
I win!
694
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,295
Whoo-hoo!
695
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,300
Great.
696
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:57,732
Now we have to wait
for Wanda to--
697
00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,038
[shriek, crash, stomp]
698
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,784
And that wraps that up.
699
00:21:01,825 --> 00:21:04,825
[♪♪♪]
700
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:09,361
♪ I don't know
701
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:10,308
♪ The same things
702
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,306
♪ You don't know
703
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,319
♪ I don't
know ♪
704
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:20,323
♪ I just don't know
705
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:24,812
♪ Whooo
706
00:21:24,848 --> 00:21:26,328
♪ It's a great big place
707
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:28,202
♪ Whooo
708
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,983
♪ For nothin' but space
709
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:32,287
♪ Whooo
710
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:36,334
♪ It's my happy place ♪
45863
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