Original subtitles

[pages riffling]

[boy crying and sniffling]

[crying and sniffling continue]

WOMAN: Mmm.

Oh, here we go.

BOY: They broke my invention.

They... they called me "Bighead."

[woman sighs]

One day that big, beautiful, wombwrecking head of yours

is going to dream up fantastic things.

And you're going to change the world.

[voice echoing]

Time to change the world.

By bringing it to its knees!

Attack! [lasers firing]

[grunts]

[thudding footsteps]

MMODOK?

And do you know what MODOK stands for?

Mental Organism Designed Only

For Kill PILOT: Made it!

[screams]

For Killing!

After my AIM soldiers destroy the stock exchange and topple the economy,

I, MODOK, will build a new technological utopia in my image

[grunts]

Iron Man?

Cheap shot to the back of the head, I know. [chuckles]

I was actually aiming for literally any other part of your body, but

Oh, come on, Mary Berry, that pie crust was next level flaky!

You shall pay for

Are you bingewatching The Great British Bake Off

in your helmet while we fight?

No. I'm savoring The Great British Bake Off.

Making it last.

No more than two episodes a day. Three tops.

[MODOK grunts]

Aha!

[Iron Man grunts]

MODOK: Ed Kimber wins with his ginger tart!

Uhoh.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE: AIM, Advanced Idea Mechanics.

Pushing the boundaries of science,

torture, and advanced weaponry.

At AIM, we do science for science's sake,

and we're settling for nothing less than conquering the world.

MODOK: We got Iron Man's boot!

[agents cheering] MAN: Yeah, MODOK!

We didn't destabilize the world economy, but Iron Man kicked me so hard

his boot got wedged in my hoverchair,

so... victory!

The assault on New York was a colossal failure.

Because of you!

Stark knew we were coming.

You tweeted "Current mood: about to attack Wall Street."

Okay, I know what this is.

This is boot envy.

You're better than that, Monica.

I came to AIM to work with the brilliant MODOK,

who mutated himself through experiments.

Who once reversed the Earth's gravity, made people into dinosaurs

and then dinosaurs into people.

You were gonna change the world.

Baby steps, Monica.

Baby steps.

Who wants to touch me while I touch the boot?

MAN 1: Oh, me. MAN 2: I wanna touch that!

MAN 3: Let me touch it, MODOK! [Monica sighs]

♪ MODOK ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Where does he go at night?

Nobody knows...

♪ thrilling music playing ♪

♪

Ohh! No one took the cans out?

[grunting]

Come on!

Ah, shit.

And look at that!

With just a little more effort,

your socks can be folded into the shape of a Bavarian pretzel!

And it only took us ten hours?

Jesus! Anyway, if you like what you saw,

check out my book Jodify Your Life and Jodie!

All right, moms Your man got boot!

i "Hasta momyana!"

[groans] You're at the end of all my videos.

Whatever, big news!

My book made it onto the selfpublished selfhelp charts.

I'm getting approached for sponsorship deals

with huge companies.

Youtube, Google, GRUMBL, GRIMPL, and This boot smells like potpourri,

a fall scent.

Do you think he changes it for the seasons?

You know what? The smoothie machine's acting up.

Ugh, again?

And don't just bang on it with your fist this time.

Did RossDressForLess over there just call me a smoothie machine?

I'm the Super Adaptoid: a hightech robot with an artist's soul.

I [whirring]

[robotic voice] Enjoy your Blueberry Blast.

Ew.

Too sweet. Oh, I forgot.

Lou, ven ahorita! You need to talk to your son.

Why? I talked to Lou this morning.

I demanded he bring me toilet paper. Solid convo.

Lou, please explain to your father why we spent all day at the mall

and you still don't have a bar mitzvah suit.

I am looking for something classy,

but none of the suits had extralong coattails,

Dracula collars, or sleeves wide enough to house doves.

Spoiler alert: I plan to release doves during my Torah reading.

Magic? Lou, why can't you just pick a normal teenageboy theme?

Like sports or tugboats?

[door opens, slams shut]

I hate my life!

Aw, Melissa, what happened at practice?

Tricia Katzky's new figure skating costume was egg white,

which is only two shades away from my cloud white costume!

So I catfished her, leaked her DMs,

and now everyone at school knows about her "blood disorder."

And somehow I'm the one who gets detention?

Melly, we've talked about this.

You can't catfish people

without using a VPN to disguise your IP address.

Now listen up, everyone, Mom's got big news!

Your mother's about to volunteer to sleep on the couch

so I can spend the night in my marital bed with Iron Man's boot!

[sighs]

♪

AIM ACCOUNTANT: Eight million on the hoverbikes,

20 million on the laser cannon,

30 million for the airships, and 49.95 for the software

that lets me put price tags on video footage.

That! That last thing. Let's cut that.

Am I... good businessman?

We need to talk about the leadership of this organization.

How dare you question my Wha What

what the hell is that? [snarling]

An experiment. Now it's time you

Oh Jesus, it just pissed out of what I thought was its mouth.

It's fine! But AIM is not. Because you have failed to

Okay, it just scratched "kill me" into the linoleum.

I said it's fine!

It's time you stepped down and let me run AIM.

Ah, yeah. About that.

Uh, if these numbers are correct,

soon there won't be any AIM to run at all.

What? We're completely out of cash.

Even accounting for sales of weapons,

stolen Vibranium, and bootleg Avengers toys.

Some kids prefer Spooderman.

Even so, we're bankrupt.

Impossible!

You are hereby relieved of your status as CPA Supreme,

and as a living person!

Remember, I still need to do your personal taxes.

[grunts]

I'm sorry, I... I thought this coffee was for everyone.

MODOK: I have a very simple plan to save AIM.

We're going to rob Fort Knox by opening an EinsteinRosen bridge into the

[machine powers off] What the hell?

We, uh, couldn't pay the power bill.

This slight against us must be properly avenged!

Okay, Fort Knox is still on, but first we make the power company pay

for trying to make us pay

What? Ugh! Damn marker!

...our forces, the salt, will strike back at Expo Markers Incorporated

so we can return to getting back at the power company

and then rob Fort Knox.

What was represented by the Tapatio bottle again?

Nothing. It's for my burrito.

Moron!

You've bankrupted this organization.

AIM is finished.

[AIM agents muttering]

Don't worry. MODOK will fix this.

MODOK will save you all. [helicopters whirring]

We're under attack. Die for me!

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

[helicopter door opens]

Oh man!

Did my Ambien never wear off 'cause I feel like I'm dreaming.

Me, meeting MODOK. Bring it in for a hug, Mo'Money.

Ugh, no area's more sacred than MODOK's personal space.

Prepare to suck saw! [saw whirring]

I love it. Love it.

I'm Austin Van Der Sleet. I work for GRUMBL.

The tech company?

We heard you need funding.

Why would would you think that?

Because of your GRUMBL searches.

"How to save company from bankruptcy,"

"My empire's crumbling,"

"Oh God, Oh God," and "Coolest ways to commit suicide."

We share a family computer,

it was probably my son's empire that was crumbling.

GRUMBL's so impressed with your brilliant mind

that they want to buy a controlling stake in AIM

so it can continue to exist!

[agents cheering] Absolutely not!

What? MODOK is his own master!

MODOK bows to no one!

Except for Murray Goldfarb the Schnitzel King,

whose heavenly schnitzel served at affordable prices

brings MODOK to his knees!

If we're not taking this money, where are we gonna work?

MODOK: All right.

We need big ideas to save AIM.

You guys are my brain trust. What've you got for me?

Blood car! What's that?

It's a car that runs on blood. Terrible! What else?

Oh, oh! We watch Wolf of Wall Street and do what the Wolf does!

I said stop pitching that! What else? Your, uh, toilet's broken.

Hmm. I like it... I don't understand it, but I like it.

I still don't have a bar mitzvah suit. I'm lookin' for the right fabric.

Do you mind if I have a feel real quick?

Not at all, Son of MODOK!

Lou, stop fondling my brain trust!

Dad, one of your dumbasses spilled acid all over my boyfriend.

Come on, guys, acid is expensive!

MODOK, can I talk to you for a minute?

I was listening at the door and, just my two cents but,

maybe it's time to let AIM go.

Never! MODOK doesn't give up.

Flailerg isn't even in my vocabulary.

Were you trying to say "failure"?

Yes, I literally deleted it from my memory banks.

You don't have to worry, I'm making enough to support us.

Maybe it's my turn to take the reins.

AIM is MODOK! MODOK is AIM!

Without it, I... I wouldn't even know who I am.

Wow. If that's true,

I think we need to have a very serious conversation

about what that means for us.

[doorbell rings] Oh, I'll get it!

I hope it's the cool mailman.

Austin? I should vaporize you for yo

Aww, you vape? Dope.

You know, I was just in the neighborhood and

Aw, forget it.

You're not the kind of guy that likes to be wined and dined

at exclusive, sixMichelin star restaurants.

You probably got lots of cool stuff going on here that you'd hate to leave...

LOU: Jewish king coming through!

Huphuphuphup

Now the other toilet's broken!

Fine, let's go, but I'm not selling my company.

And I'm not spitting out this gum.

I just put it in, and it's got another 45 minutes.

It shall share my mouth with the appetizers!

Look, the last thing I want to do is talk about GRUMBL,

but you see, GRUMBL never intended to offend you.

[eating noisily]

[crowd cheering] GRUMBL thinks you're a genius.

Your tech's beyond anything being done at Apple, Google,

even ITT Tech,

and those guys are getting the skills they need

to advance in today's marketplace!

Best of all, GRUMBL wants to be extremely handsoff.

Easy. Let me.

And let you kill all the Iron Mans you want,

as long as you deliver them a hot new tablet by Christmas.

So sorry we had to stop by GRUMBL.

Quick work thang. I'll be right back. Make yourself at home.

There's Monster Energy drinks in literally every drawer.

[door closes]

[sighs, mumbles] No.

Eh. Uh.

Ohh!

[toy beeping] [door opens]

Okay, you got me.

I'm a huge fan.

That toy got me through my parents' divorce.

Yeah, great, whatever, can I have it?

It's the only thing I salvaged from my childhood home after the fire

Ugh, can I have it?

Sorry, it means too much to me.

[slow clapping]

You may have thought this was just a casual night out.

But from the moment I accepted your invitation,

you unknowingly entered my cerebral gymnasium,

unaware that you were facing off on the phrenic pommel horse

with a Gabby Douglas of mental gymnastics.

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

It was a test. And you passed!

Wait. Are you saying

I'll allow GRUMBL to invest in AIM!

Thought that was super clear.

Oh, sick!

You did it, MODOK, you saved AIM.

Time to enjoy a return to normalcy.

Uh [music playing on speakers]

What is all of this?

Oh, this is Go Lean Crunch,

and this is Go Lean Seven Grain.

Seven grains is too many grains for one cereal!

[kids laughing]

What happened to my torture chamber?

GRUMBL had it changed to a daycare.

But I tortured my first SHIELD agent in here.

Brian. Oh, really nice guy. Super funny, too.

[silly voice] "Ahhh, I think my lung collapsed."

He wasn't lying.

Just disabling the lasergrid security system.

All good, kids! Yayyy!

[kids screaming]

Did he make it?

I'll deal with these changes later.

Better to let my anger fester while I bury myself in my work.

You, guy who weirdly walked in front of my mindblast

and purposefully injured himself.

Name's Gary. Short for Garfield, though I do like Mondays.

Hey, shut up. Why is no one working on my Cerebral Cortex Manipulator?

[gadget beeping]

It hacks the brain,

allowing me to control another's actions.

I was trying to make the rat do the Electric Slide,

so clearly there is more work to be done.

Where's my team?

[laughing] Tada! You're looking at him.

Uh, GRUMBL, um, reassigned the rest.

They did what?

Yeah. I mean, they didn't think a brain enslaver

was the best use of resources and moved them onto a new project:

Fitbits for pets!

What?

Uh, hey, uh, I was actually hoping you could reattach my arm?

You know, ever since you separated it from me,

my shirts are all, um, fitting, uh, badly.

Where's Austin? Where's [gasps]

Fool! Why would you ever desecrate my magnificent mural?

Me? Big fan. Love the mural. I weep in awe of its beauty.

But some employees filed a complaint about its "appropriateness."

What? Why?

Who dares complain?

Ooo, that's confidential.

Ha ha! It was me!

[deep voice] Suck it!

Enough! I want everything back to the way it was!

Ahh, bummer, dude,

you gave away control when GRUMBL acquired AIM.

It was all clearly stated in the contracts.

What? I don't remember that. And I have a computer brain.

...As you can see, the first part says you'll relinquish total control

to the GRUMBL board of directors posthaste

No! I control AIM!

Sort of "no"?

But you are in control of Team Tablet!

When can we expect some movement on that?

Never! What MODOK says goes!

And to quote MODOK, "The mural stays!"

When I'm done, you won't even miss that eyesore.

[screams]

MODOK: That's how you decorate a wall.

Do you want to hold Mr. Waffles the therapy bunny again?

I want to chemically castrate Austin!

Uh, maybe just a few more pets.

Well, you vaporized an outside contractor.

That's your first strike.

Well, technically, my first tactical strike

was absorbing my twin in the womb.

TWIN: [singsongy] I'm still inside you!

That was... gas.

I'm recommending a threeday forced "sabbatical." Suspension.

This place doesn't function without me.

I'm the boss. The Big Cheese. The King Queso. The Cheddar Daddy.

Cheddar Daddy? Is a thing people say!

[grunts] Gah, my brain!

That'd be the neural inhibitor.

In accordance with the "No Killing" clause in your contract,

you can no longer "blast" any more employees.

It's idiotic to put a mental condom on the horse penis that is my mind!

I'll need your security access card during your sabbatical.

[sighs]

But MODOK will not leave without reparations.

Your precious Mr. Waffles is now mine!

♪ somber music playing ♪

Eh, I didn't even want this.

[electricity crackles] MAN: Not again!

GARY: I cannot believe they laid us all off!

What? These are my people to fire!

[sighs] I wish there was something I could do,

but GRUMBL controls AIM now.

Technically, they don't control it yet.

The contracts had to be reviewed by GRUMBL headquarters

before they arrive tomorrow for Austin to officially sign.

But what if he changes his mind.

Or we changes his mind! That's it!

We break into Austin's office, hack his brain before he signs,

and revert control of AIM to me!

We're doin' a mind heist, baby!

We can heist the mind, but we must leave the soul.

That belongs to God.

All right, sure, Gary.

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

The mind heist mission will be risky, dangerous.

Hell, most of you won't be coming back.

But not to fear, if you shall fall, your family will be provided for

with the gift of a frozen Butterball Turkey!

And not those skinnyminnies either. We're talking 15pounders.

Step one:

Without my security access card, we'll have to break into AIM.

Luckily, there's a weak spot

That's where I come in!

No! My childish boy will help us exploit it.

♪

MODOK: Once we're in, I'll modify the Cortex Manipulator

so I can attach it directly to Austin's brain.

Rightrightright! Rightrightright! And that then that's where I come in!

I morph into a chainsaw and cut off Austin's skull!

No! This has to look legit.

Therefore I'm gonna shrink down to microscopic size

and enter Austin's body via a dart gun.

Then I'll pass it around so everyone can marvel at the adorably tiny cockpit.

‘Scuse me. Where the hell do I come in?

Your purpose will be... ladder!

This is some bullshit.

My shrinking pills are on a really high shelf.

You have a hoverchair. You can fly!

It's a leg day!

I, MODOK, reverse engineered Pym Particles

and then improved their design by making them chewables!

I can't swallow pills.

Trespassing on company grounds?

Monica!

Let's see what Austin has to say about this.

You think I'm afraid of

Run!

[squeals]

Crap. A few of those are shrinkies, but most are...

[snarls]

[bones crack]

...growies.

[roars]

[agent screams]

I declare this death: no turkey!

Stupid neural inhibitor. Do you have your amputated arm?

You're going to reattach it right now?

Gary's tennis game is back on!

Oh no!

Suck it!

You know, it's so incredible to bring, like

I've only got one Pym gummy left, and they don't last long.

Now, let's... get... small... er.

[high pitched] Yeah.

Austin, here I come.

...really at the end of the day, what's good for the company

MODOK: Wait, who's this? No!

Who am I in? No, that's not right.

In whom be MODOK?

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

[whirring]

I'm looking at Austin, and he doesn't have the contracts yet.

I still have a chance, but there's not much time before I get big... er.

Okay, let's peep some memories, see who I'm ridin' dirty.

Wait, what?

This sicko's been in my house!

Watched my children sleep!

Had sex with me? Oh crap, I think I'm in

Jodie. Wow.

Me meeting the author of Jodify Your Life.

Hashtag chills.

Thank you for meeting me.

Becoming a brand ambassador for the GRUMBL Home Device

would be hashtag dreamcometrue!

And a hello to you, GRUMBL Home.

That's not it. That's just a cube.

Oh, yeah, no, I totally knew that. Such a great cube. So lovely.

Are you sure this isn't a conflict of interest with my husband?

Modawg? He's my boy. I love his crazy style!

But you should know you're here strictly because we're interested in you.

Uh, the final AIM contracts arrived.

Thank you, male secretary. This'll just take a moment.

MODOK: No, he's signing and I'm stuck in here!

It's not like I can hijack my wife's body. That'd be unforgivable.

Unless... one time she told me I could?

MEMORY JODIE: What do you think? I just cut my bangs.

[crying] I'll never get bangs again!

MODOK, I'm pregnant.

With bangs!

MODOK, this time I think I'm really pregnant.

And I'm also thinking about growing out my bangs, what do you think?

Oh, there's nothing here.

MEMORY JODIE: I believe in you, MODOK.

But Iron Man stomped us. Again. Maybe I should give this all up.

MEMORY JODIE: Screw Iron Man!

AIM, your plans for conquering the world.

They're all worth fighting for and you're not fighting alone.

Really? MEMORY JODIE: This marriage is a twoway street.

I'll always support you and you'll always support me

She did tell me I could hijack her body!

Oh!

I... don't know why I did that.

It's okay.

It's so rude I have to do this anyways.

Tell me more about yourself while I sign this.

I just hit 800,000 subscribers

Are you gonna knock this one out of my hand?

I swear that I'm not

Ohhoho!

Okay!

I'm so sorry, I seem to have lost control of my body!

Maybe you should get out of here!

No, as a woman in the corporate space, you've worked too hard to get here.

Tell me more!

Have I, uh, mentioned my reach in bilingual demos? Español. Habla español.

[grunts]

[pained voice] Diversity's so important.

Heh heh heh. Beat his ass, Jodie! Ooh, what's that?

Ah!

If you're not feeling up to it, we could always reschedge!

I'd love to leave, but I don't think I can!

Oh, you work out? Fitness, actually a huge part of my brand.

This has been great, Jodie,

but I really have to sign these contracts before close of business.

Heyo!

I have a ton of ideas for extending into athleisure.

And I'm so, so sorry. Ahchoo!

[slowmo] Bless you.

Mommy, wow! MODOK is big now!

MODOK? I should've known. Oh God!

Great pitch! [door opens and closes]

Okay, Austin. You can forget about signing those

Signed, sealed, and delivered.

No!

I had a feeling you were behind this.

Your crazy style was written all over it.

Of course I'm going to have to take harsh disciplinary action towards you.

You dare threaten MODOK? Oh, not me. GRUMBL.

You're not in control anymore.

And unless you start playing ball,

your time at AIM might be... limited.

GARY: Did you do it? Did you save our jobs?

[MODOK sighs]

Just give ‘em back their jobs.

Come on, do it for me, MODOK,

your favorite childhood toy.

Yeah, that was my trick on you.

I got it on Craigslist. They paid me to pick it up.

Because they hated it so much.

Each family member took a moment to spit on it

before they handed it to me

Okay. Enough. You want me to play ball?

Here. The tablet you're so horny for.

You want it? Rehire my minions.

Whoa. Okay. They're rehired.

But after this, you're on a tight leash

I, MODOK, have vanquished our foes

and restored you back to whatever it is you do here!

[chanting] MODOK! MODOK!

MODOK! MODOK!

I feel like you're... not in a celebration place, Jodie.

You ruined my deal.

Your memories told me to do it,

so if you're going to be angry at anyone, be angry at yourself.

[burping] Haven't passed those Pym Particles.

Anyway, Austin wasn't making a legitimate offer.

He was just using you to get to me.

I had offers from tons of companies.

And I ended up signing with Roxxon as a lifestyle influencer,

I will have you know.

[sighs]

MODOK, it's everything I always wanted.

Magazine covers, reality shows,

my own line of neti pots with my face on it!

I'm gonna be a real brand!

Oh, speaking of brand, I thought of a brand new way to kill Austin.

Brand him to death!

[sighs] Right.

Can I interest you two love birds in a dessert

I called in a lava cake on the car ride over here.

Excellent choice. Ma'am?

I think... I think I want a separation.

Ah, you must be referring to the tiramisu,

which is of course separated by layers.

No, I mean

I want a divorce.

Jodie?

Ah, our famous Dove Horse.

A miniature horse made of creamy Dove chocolate

Get out of here!

Oh!

Please tell me you wanted that horse dessert.

No, I, uh, I think I do want a divorce.

From you.

MODOK can fix this. I'll pay more attention to you,

I I'll eat less stuff off the ground,

I'll call out your name during sex instead of mine!

I'll change!

I think I think I'm just gonna go.

You... dare... divorce MODOK?

[sniffles]

[burps]

[squeaky voice] Shit.

♪ theme music playing ♪

♪