Original subtitles

My name is Luis Costa, 43 years old, single,

...come from Paris, Capricorn.

I belong to the Costa dynasty, including:

my mother, Genevi�ve, and my 5 sisters,

...Carole,

...Marie,

...Catherine,

...Axelle,

...and Maxine, the cadet. - Leave us alone !

My 12 nieces: In�s,

...Cl�mence, M�lanie, Eva, Vanessa, Lou-Anne,

...Alice, P�n�lope, Lucille, Aurore, Manon...

...and Simone. - This name sucks.

For the men, my 4 brother-in-laws known as "The boys"...

...and my father, Hercules (my grand-mother loved...

...the greek mythology).

- Hercules. - Yes.

So... Cacolac, who is it?

He was a great fan of Luis Mariano and a real Republican.

At home, he created the "G7".

We made all the big decisions...

...for the family. - I drank it only once.

- Who wants more...

...Cacolac?

Consensus of opinion.

One day, suddenly, dad died.

Since that day, everything changed.

A motion proposed to the G7 is to forbidden to pee still...

...with a view to avoiding the drops everywhere.

- Who's for? - Yes !

The democracy...

...had been ridiculed.

I was 21 years old and I was crazy in love with Sandrine Bourrague.

It was my Abba period.

Or Cure...

No, Abba!

No, Cure. Anyways, we decided to live together.

- Why do they want...

...to see me? - They want to meet you.

- "I want to be an artist."

That is to say?

- It sounds like lazy. - Catherine !

your parents too are artists,

...Miss Boutargue? - Bourrague.

- Where does it come from...

...Boutargue?

- From Marseilles, I think ! - No, from Dijon.

Bourrague, it's easy to memorize !

- Sandrine, wait !

- Thanks for defending me, get out of my way !

- You suck ! - Sandrine !

Anyways, I think that if I want...

if I want, at 21 years old to see who I want to see !

- Pipou, you weren't going to marry her.

- I know this kind of woman.

- What? - In 15 years, it's...

...hair band, folded skirt and a yellow labrador.

- And with many children,

...Imagine Pipou !

At the grocery.

- With her belly.

- You'll never see me again.

- Pipou...

- Dare !

- It stinks pussy here !

I decided to flee to go and live adventure.

But not that night, it was kind of chilly outside.

Sandrine left me, I couldn't make her stay.

Her smell became an obsession.

But my chemistry classes allow me to find that...

...it needed 17 different smells...

...to recreate the one of my beloved.

It was surprising but Sandrine was also made of banana.

I discovered my profession.

I became "nose".

I create perfumes.

It smells too much parquet floor.

We call it like this, a "nose".

My name is Luis Costa, 43 years old, single.

And i'm very well, very well.

- Pierre-Yves, you pay the coffee? - Francis pay his round.

- The same, everytime.

- Everyone bow low, laborious lab assistants !

Make way...

...for Luis Costa, the man who created "Tahar" !

This is big stuff ! This is much money !

In my arms, my Luis ! In my arms, oh...

Ah...

Oh, this nose !

The cornerstone of this company.

Come and kiss this nose whom you owe everything.

Bisous on the nose ! Charlotte.

Christiane, Martine. Men too.

Powerful, slenderness, sensitiveness... without forgetting his warrior side,

...where does it come from this noble name: "Tahar" !

- You want something?

Oh... it's new, this one?

- Asshole !

- A gift from my ex-wife. - Asshole !

- It pronounces it well.

So? - They don't want "Tahar" anymore.

- What? The day before, they said it was marvellous.

- The wife of Neiko's director thinks that it stinks.

- It stinks? That is to say?

- Something's missing.

There are 3 labs in competition, including us.

We lost 3 months cause of a bitch...

...who says it stinks. We worked 2 years,

- We can use this work for something else...

- For what? A bathroom doedorant?

All my money for a bathroom doedorant?

No, no, no !

Luis, work harder on "Tahar".

Find the idea... - I'm exhausted.

I worked 12 months on it without any break.

I can't do anything more.

- 15,000 euros of bonus. - It's not that.

I can't bear "Tahar" anymore.

That's it...

It's not my fault...

- Everyone goes home !

It's over, we're closed ! You're going to earn the unemployment benefit !

M. Luis Costa decided to close this company !

Get yourself out of this shit ! Damn about !

- 15,000 euros, It's a good bonus.

Why don't you want it? - Ah !

Did you spend 12 months working without any break for a perfume?

I can't smell anymore.

- Are you okay? - Are you okay, Annick?

-What will you have?

- I'll have a mozzarella tomatoe...

...and some chicken.

- I'm not hungry. We'll share.

I forgot my meal tickets. - I'm inviting you.

- I'll have the same thing and a poached pear.

And some bread.

You're really pretty today.

- I'm trying some wedding haircuts.

- Ah... we didn't know.

Congratulations. - Thanks.

- This is your "cam". - Ah, yes.

Brown-haired girls.

- When was the last time you...

- It's been 1 month, exactly 2 years and 1 month.

It's hardly conceivable for Mister...

..."I chase all the girls".

- Do you have a tampon? - I was about to ask if you had one.

- Could it be possible to change sometimes...

- For the tomatoes gratin...

We eat this every sunday... - Bernard.

- It's G�rard. - G�rard, it was the favourite course...

...of Hercules for family's meals.

It's a duty of memory.

- Maybe something else for a change.

- As long as Hercules is dead, we don't change it.

Lunch is served !

- Marie, where did you put my ironed laundry?

- I want to say:

In your ass ! It's not written...

..."maidservant" here.

- Easy. - No !

Not easy ! I'm sick of...

...taking care...

...of all your shit !

At home, the other one does nothing at all.

You're totally assisted.

- I help. - We're talking about Luis.

We are all here...

...to fix everything for Pipou.

Grocery, ironing, meals.

May he grow up a little bit ! - Call him otherwise.

- Maxine, take care of your own business.

You're too young. - She's right.

I'm not your wife, I'm your sister.

- We are not your wives. - You're 44, it's time...

...to find a wife who'll take care of all of this.

- I'm 43 and why are you getting upset?

- When someone's 43, he can do his own laundry,

...his rent, his shits.

I mean all his life ! I'm 40 and it's as if i was the mother of everyone !

I'm dead tired !

Me, it's...

Over out, now.

- I'm sick of incompetents ! - Luis is doing what he can...

- Ah... I was talking about you.

- Luis can't...

...have a wife, he's too immature.

-You know nothing, you're not even 20.

- I know more than you who are 44 !

- 43 !

- It's the same.

- Oh, stop !

- "In your ass" !

- Marie explained herself with her heart,

...but she's right.

We don't have to take care of you anymore.

It's the duty of a wife.

Of your wife.

Special...

...meeting of the G7 !

"The boys",

...clear away.

Issue of the day... - What woman?

- Luis' wedding, who's for it?

- You bet !

- What?

- Agreed! There, you go.

- And did you see Ga�l in London? - No.

- Is he alright? - I didn't see him !

Why should I see him? It's over.

- You might find a boyfriend here.

Stay as long as you want...

- I like to be alone.

When I see they types of men..

Your fridge is always empty !

- Turn the faucet off firmly in the bathroom.

There's a leak because the pipe joint is broken.

At the end of the year, it's 100 euros spent on the sink.

- A joint costs only 3 euros.

- Hmm yeah... you've grown a little bit more, no?

- Yes, of course.

In dad's view, out of the region of Bordeaux, everyone is savage people.

Imagine London ! For him, I'm a "punk junky".

- So... how's work? - Well...

I'm looking for something more specific. Here.

Can you lend me 200 euros?

- I won't bother you anymore after this. - Well...

Yes, we'll talk about this later. What are you doing tomorrow?

- I have several appointments for some interviews.

- We'll talk about this the day after tomorrow then. - Ah !

- Hello... Luis?

- Yes. - Hello.

- Hello. - Jacinthe.

Like the saint.

- We chatted on the internet yesterday. - It wasn't me.

- Aren't you Luis? - Yes I am, but you chatted...

...with one of my sisters.

- We talked about wedding, children...

- I can imagine that, but it wasn't me.

- Really?

- But I'm not against just having sex...

...if you want.

You forgot your...

- Are you proud of yourself?

- It's not going to last long.

- They were boring to death.

- I'm a first aid officer... - I met all their friends.

- I'm 33... - When I say all it's all.

- Excel, Word, Office, Power Point...

- He told me: "You're pretty."

- Waouh ! - Even a gay wedding...

...would have pleased them.

- Axelle, numbers.

- 31 girls.

He had a drink...

...with 13, had dinner with 7 and had vomited on 1.

As a conclusion, not any serious relationship.

- The director of Neiko is coming.

- You can brush her off by yourself.

- Francis, Kirsten, my assistant.

- Nice to meet you. Pierre-Yves.

- Hello, Luis.

- Hello. - Hello.

- So, let's start...

You were happy since the beginning...

...and now it's not good enough? - I know.

The due dates are too soon.

- Publicity and packaging are ready. - Ok.

Clearly? Well... then...

We are in the hot, surrounding,

...copper and amber-colored touches, a wild and distinguished background.

This is for an easy-going man,

...who fulfill his feminity. We also have a fizzy...

...and green attack.

Something young, mischievous.

And I don't know...

We could try with some lavander...

- So, you're completely lost.

- Yes...

Yes !

Please forgive us.

So much money is being invested.

We're going to continue our work, hmm.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Poh !

She's wonderful, the assistant.

- Ah, no...

I don't like those big things with boobies.

- "Big things with boobies"? Ah yes.

- Where are you up to? - I'm associated with an antique dealer.

It will be easier for me.

There will be many round-trip to Brazil.

It will take some time before finalizing.

Huh ! He knocks strongly ! That's funny, he's the third...

...but it's always surprising. - Probably.

- Single parent, that's going to be more difficult.

It's normal to ask for some security.

- Of course, I clearly understand.

- Well...

- I'm looking for Pierre-Yves.

- The table is over there. - Thanks.

- Hello, I'm the s... - Don't tell me anything.

We chatted all night long, we talked about wedding, children.

So wedding, no, sex, yes.

- Only sex, it's okay for me.

Possibly, yes. We do this with 2, 3 friends?

- Euh... - Because...

...just two having sex is a little bit boring. The best is when there are 4.

Men who are...

...snogging... It's exciting.

- Emmanuelle, my little sister.

- Luis, he's working with me.

- Did you get acquainted with each other? - A little bit.

- I showed you some pictures. - Hmm.

- She was really small... - Yes.

- Actually... forgive me.

- No, it's okay.

- I'm ashamed.

- I'm telling you it's okay.

- What...?

- Hmm... I insist, I'm really sorry.

- Stop! I should be.

- Why?

- You looked really ridiculous.

- Well, I was actually really surprised.

- No, you were ridiculous.

- When was that?

- Hmm, nothing.

- Sandrine?

- Yes?

- Sandrine Bourrague.

Luis.

Luis Costa.

- Oh, Luis ! Hi. How are you?

It's no more Bourrague, It's Philippi.

- What's the story?

- I have 4 kids. The eldest, C�line, is practising judo.

Matthias, the youngest, We're thinking about placing him...

...in a school for gifted children.

Then Mathilde and Baptiste, it's okay.

We just came back from the Club Med, You know? It's top.

They take care of the children, we don't see them.

- No !

And this is your dog? - Yes, Ilia.

How much is it?

57,90. - Can i ask you a question?

- Of course. - Are you still angry with me?

- About what?

- Well... well... you don't remember?

- Listen, I really don't know.

Ah yes ! You split up with me, didn't you?

Hmm... am I right?

Well... do you have a bag?

- Blonde or brown-haired? Be more precise.

- Here, you're mute. - Do you prefer an artist?

- Oh, oh !

- We can give them an old version of "Tahar".

And there you go !

- So? - Annick isn't here?

- No, depression. - What? What depression?

- It was okay yesterday. Finally, her husband doesn't want anymore.

- Get married?

- The wedding day.

No more news.

Annick had everything.

It's horrible !

She doesn't want anything.

I don't take any single girl anymore.

Only married or lesbian girls.

- What girl? - There's no girl.

- So why do you want to tell them that?

- I found the plan to stay in peace.

Listen, I find a girl. - What kind of girl?

- It doesn't matter.

I brief her to please my mom and my sisters.

They love her and we decide to get married.

- With you don't know who?

- We prepare the wedding, the announcements, everything...

And at the town hall, she doesn't come !

She dumps me the day of the wedding.

Big depression, no one talk about wedding to me anymore.

Perfect !

Wedding in one month, the 12th everything's over.

In Vegas, it would have been already over. - What about just saying:

"I don't want to get married"?

- And what about paying the coffee sometimes?

- Stop introducing girls to me.

I met someone.

- How did that happened?

- Tell us !

- I waited to know if it was serious...

And it is.

- Really? - What?

- Yes... - Really?

- In love? - Since when did you know her?

- Since a while.

- I have to see for myself.

- Will she please mom? - Yes.

- We'll see.

- How about Petra? - She has to be a little bit...

...more sophisticated.

- Amber. - Yes...

500 euros per hour !

They don't put herselves out.

- Let's say 5000 euros per day,

...3 weeks, it's 105,000 euros.

I wear a wig and some fishnet stockings...

...and I'll do it for you for this price.

So...

- Or, we have Bellinda. - Oh... wait !

- A wig at this price... - We can negotiate.

Where do those things come from?

- Ah... sorry.

- Emma, yes.

Hurry, I'm in the middle of... Yes.

I don't have phone number for taxi. Why calling a taxi?

Take the subway.

There are only two transits.

Ok, see you.

- So... is your sister working?

- Don't talk me about that, she sweats blood...

Ah well no... Oh no, no, no.

- You consider me...

...as a slut?

- I pay you to be my wife, nothing to do with what you say.

- Indeed !

- You have to take this as a game, being paid.

- You watched too much...

..."The Bachelor". - It's silly but...

...I love "The Bachelor". - Hire a friend.

- "My wife" is supposed to disappear before the wedding.

I'm not going to hire a friend.

There's nothing funny...

...frankly... Did I missed...

... out on something?

- Sorry but it's appalling.

- If you're not interested in...

- No, no ! So, well...

- Okay, 8 weeks. - Hmm.

- 100 euros per hour times 24... - Where does this price list come from?

- I leave you together, I'll be aside.

- So 2400 by 7 days by 8 weeks...

- Hey, what are you doing?

- I'm counting the hours.

- We aren't going to count the hours,

...the minutes...

We'll settle on fixed fee.

- I'm not available 24/7!

- We have to agree on an amount of hours...

..per day, for 8 weeks.

- Pfff... 2 months...

- Well, a regular day of 8 working hours...

...with a lunch break...

15000 euros per week.

- Pfff !

- What?

For 10 meetings...

...with my family and 4 smiles?

1000 euros, It's already too much.

- To live in peace until the end of your life?

It's nothing!

So 3000 per week. 3000 by...

...8 weeks equals 24000.

Let's say, 20000, I sell off !

- We aren't going to agree.

- It's kind of complicated for a husband-to-be and his bride.

- Okay !

This...

...is my last offer.

- Over my dead body.

- Yes !

- Can I talk to you? - Asshole !

- The bitch denounced me.

- What? - My ex-wife...

...she denouced me at the tax department, I have a fiscal control.

She's such a bitch... She's such a bitch, fuck !

- Bitch...

- Such a bitch ! - Euh...

It's not the best moment but...

I'll need...

...an advance on the bonus. - How much?

- Actually, i'll need the bonus, 15000.

- Don't ever get married !

Wait.

Barbara, it's Francis.

I thought we were adults,

...that we still had some respect to each other.

I just realize that you really are...

...such a fat whore !

- I'll do my very best on "Tahar"...

- Why me?

There are 4 billion chicks, And I take the worst fat whore !

- Everything will be fixed soon.

Thanks.

- The idea is to meet regularly.

- But only two nights out on the town per week.

- We aren't going to write everything down. - What we can say,

...we can write it down, 2 nights out on the town.

- To places that my sisters frequently go to.

- Of course.

- Not any kisses with the tongue, - Not any smooches.

- No nicknames like "bichette", "mamour"...

- It won't have come naturally.

- Avoid "Luigi" and "Loulou" too.

- Where does it come from, your first name "Luis"?

- Bah, it doesn't matter. - No, it does matter.

- I inevitably asked you. - My father...

...loved Luis Mariano. - Ah yes.

"Si tu vas � Rio"

- This is Dario Moreno.

- Maybe.

- It is Dario Moreno.

- Anyways, what's you perfect 'wife'?

- She isn't tattooed, you'll have to hide that.

Otherwise...

...capped, nails done, delicate, feminine.

The minimum for a wife.

- Can I read or not?

- Don't start...

...with feminism,

...the woman condition...

- It's okay...

I was trying to relax both of us.

- I'm very relaxed already.

I'm telling you what is...

...unacceptable for my family. - I'm not dumb !

- Yes but...

If there isn't any result, I owe you nothing.

- No, 40% guaranteed, result or no.

- 15? - No, 40 !

- My service is not free of charge.

- Here.

- Read and approved.

- Ah... it has started ! Until tonight, 9pm.

- What are you going to wear tonight?

- I think I'll go naked.

- In music, what bands do you like?

"Garage in the machine"?

- "Rage against the machine". - Ah yes.

And me, what is it? - The Beatles, it's easy.

The morning, it's black coffee because of your cholesterol.

- Very glamour !

- You hate hamsters.

- No, it's just that I'm uncomfortable with them. - Yeah.

- Your favourite smell?

- Some paper smells. - Wrong answer !

You should have said: "Yours, my love."

- We're here.

- What is, Catherine?

Ah yes, strictness. And Axelle,

...the clothes store. - That is Carole !

Smile, keep silence and let me speak.

- Are you nervous?

- What is that? - It's middle-age with you.

- Ah ! - Hello !

- Hi. - Hi.

- Come inside, come inside. - Wait a minute !

Everyone's here I see, that's great.

- I'm going to introduce you to everyone. - Well, Luis.

- No, she'll memorize only two names !

- It's okay... You are Catherine.

- Yes.

- And... Maxine.

- Yes. Luis talked about you so much,

...like I've already known you.

- Axelle? - She's very... she likes...

- Okay, let's go to the living room.

You can sit here. Emmanuelle, some wine?

- I'd like some. - Not too much...

- Oh !

- She keeps straight, not like the other soft girls...

Nice smile, white teeth, recent tartar removal.

- Cheers ! - What do you do for a living?

- At the present time...

- Pipou, let her talk. - Don't let yourself be easy !

- I restore antique furniture. - Great !

I'm teacher of EMT, with my class,

...we're working on wood.

- Oh the anecdote, thanks ! - Sorry.

- Very interesting job.

- A little bit young but she's a cute lady.

- Mouais, it's ok.

- Raw silk, she has taste.

- Of course, - Luis didn't tell us anything.

- How did you two meet?

- I'm Pierre-Yves' sister.

- "The best melons are not all from Cavaillon".

- What does that expression mean? - It means that...

No need to... - Yes, the best...

...are from Cavaillon,

...like our parents. - Actually,

...my dead husband...

...was the best friend of my brother.

Love at first sight.

- Like us, right, Pipou?

- I like Pierre-Yves.

- He's a clamp.

- What is that, a clamp?

- So, a clamp...

- He's a little bit cheapskate. - Ah !

- No, actually, he's generous.

- He's providing lodging for me.

- You don't live together?

- Soon, I hope. - Yes.

- Will he tolerate...

...being invaded?

You'll know it...

...in the next... - Everything's fine.

- Your parents,

...what do they think about it?

- They don't know yet.

I see them... very rarely.

- No, really... - Ah !

- No? You aren't family.

- It's the contrary...

And when I see you all so close...

- It's a "Ch�teau Latour"?

- Mom?

- Ch�teau Latour, 1991.

- Bravo !

- Come on !

- My love !

- We have to hurry because...

- Oh, cancel it and stay with us.

- I can't, I promised Pierre-Yves.

- Come on. I hope I'll see you soon.

- You are going to be late.

- Let them !

- Bye, my love.

- Bye, my love.

- It's 9:05, That's an extra hour more.

- What? - An hour which you'll have to pay.

- It runs in the family. - No, it's contractual.

- Tchao, Pipou.

- Bravo ! - It was high time !

- Very cute ! - Do you like her?

- 700 with the added hour. - Thanks.

Next time, I'll use a timer.

- Were they happy? - It's okay, so far.

Don't weaken.

Oh, such a stroke of luck for the wine !

- It wasn't a stroke of luck. - Ah?

- Oh yes, your parents' vineyard...

But nonetheless.

- Well...

Do you want to have a drink, out of contract?

- Don't confuse everything.

- No, to talk.

- About your family? Your kids stories?

- I'm out of it. - I'm not a kid anymore.

I'm 43. - You don't seem.

- Do I look older? - No.

Younger, very younger. Everyone has his own problems.

- Ok, I'm leaving.

If we are being spied on...

It is...

It is... - Yes?

- What do you think about it, Kirsten?

Powerful at first smell, but doesn't last long.

- We are in the right way, but it's not strong enough.

- Voil� ! It doesn't last long.

You need to work a little bit more.

Find more persistent.

- We can refine the juice. - Develop it.

- Cat's pee, it's persistent.

- I'll have a question. - Yes?

- Why...

...don't you like me? - I don't like you?

- "Doesn't stay long", "Not powerful enough"...

A little bit harsh, isn't it? - Come closer.

Come closer.

"Promesse".

Yes. And it's from?

Well... from me.

So... you see I like you.

- The last check-up is still missing.

- Ah... everything's fine. I'll bring it to you soon.

- Okay.

- I wanted to ask you...

I hear many different views.

For his arrival at home...

If he's used to some food...

- A brazilian child,

...you don't have to force him to listen to Filberto Fil.

Just kidding.

There might be an adaptation period.

But I'm sure that, at the right time,

...you'll find the right words.

- Yes, but I'd like to know the most I can...

- We aren't at this level yet.

Bring me your pay slip first.

- We are still negotiating the contract, but it will be settled soon.

- Okay.

- Terminale L, What is that? - Literary.

- Do you like coriander? - Yes.

- You, at least, you're cool.

- Come see grandma Genevi�ve,

...go to play. Calm down.

- Wait... this is a Dirk Sch�nberger !

- Yes.

- Well, you don't wear it like this.

- Luis thinks it's crude.

- Help ! Hey, Pipou !

Since when you know fashion?

Don't let you be easy. - The vinaigrette !

- The wedding gets closer, calm down !

- Your mom calls me non-stop.

I want more.

- A fixed price is a fixed price !

If the service changes, same goes with the price.

It's harassment, I want 20% more.

- It's a robbery !

- We can discuss...

- Fifteen. - Zero.

- Okay. - Here is the wine.

- 10%, is my last price.

- That's a deal. - So,

...the lovers, taste this. - Thank you.

- Wonderful, very good. - Is it expensive?

- It's reasonable.

- But it's ok...

We take it.

- We can look for something younger.

- But no, Emma. We take it.

- How many guests planned?

- Around 50. - For Emma's side.

Because for us, 250, 300...

Let's say,

...350 maximum.

- So 200 bottles. - No !

- 400 with the champagne. And a good one !

- We have thought of something a little bit intimate.

- With this wine, you'll need something garnished with truffles.

- It's not the season... - That's not a big deal !

- I love truffles, good idea !

- No need to ruin ourselves.

- I've been waiting this for 15 years, so it doesn't matter.

At worst, I'll sell the apartment I was keeping for you.

- They are ruining themselves, Do you realize that?

And you're preparing this with my sister !

- By the way, you'll be my best man.

- I appreciate this, really.

- It's a fake wedding. - Yes.

- "March� Saint-Honor�"? Ok, I'm coming.

Yes, Genevi�ve.

- Where are you going? - Trying the wedding dress.

- No need one, we don't care !

- It's a fake wedding ! - Yes.

Your mother and your sister are waiting for me...

...at "Victoria". - It's so much expensive !

- I know.

- It's so touching. - Don't move or I'll hit you.

- Hou hou !

- Who is this?

- The woman...

- ...of the adoption agency. - What?

- We are going to adopt a dog. - Ah.

- How are you? - I'm fine.

- Such a surprise !

- I'm looking for some sugar-coated pills. - Here is the best caterer.

- Ask Andr� from me. - Thanks.

- Mrs. Lebrun. - Genevi�ve Costa.

- The future...

...mother-in-law.

And here is Marie,

...Maxine, Carole, Axelle, Catherine.

- The future sisters-in-law.

- Are you going to get married? It's very good for...

...your file. - Is a file necessary?

- Well... yes, nonetheless.

- When I was young, we could easily find people who wanted to...

...get rid of some. - It depends on the race.

- Yes, it's important, the race. - No, we don't care.

- Yes, a bastard, it's good. They are...

...smart.

- Well let's go. - Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Luis Costa?

- It's me.

- You receive...

...your mail here? - That's surprising !

- Yes, it's true.

- No ! But why...

Why me?

- Luis, what's going on?

- It's Emma.

She's not coming.

"This wedding is...

"...a bad idea.

Emma."

- It's a joke.

- No ! - And she was right !

- What?

- You're miserable.

- What did I do?

- Well look !

- Look.

- When did you take this?

- No ! - What no?

- Loser ! I thought it would be okay.

I wanted to make you an album.

Disgusting !

Don't deny ! - A colleague?

- Yes.

- Mom, are you all right? Mom !

- What are they doing?

- Calm down, It's going to be fine.

- So? - The shock has been hard.

Her state is serious, but stable.

We'll do what's necessary.

You can visit her.

Sorry for the wedding.

- I'm going. - Come on.

- Emma... Emma !

Emma !

- Mom is going to die because of you.

- So you do how you want,

...but you bring Emmanuelle back.

- Come on!

- What are the doctors saying? - They don't know.

- It's horrible.

I'm sorry.

I like her very much. - She asks for you.

- Isn't she in a coma? - She keeps saying your name.

- Shit...

- What will I tell her?

- That we are together again. I have a plan.

- We must stop, we caused enough damages.

- Just for a few more days.

- I've written a second contract on the basis of the first one.

- But your mother is in a coma !

- Don't worry, it's psychosomatic.

What are you afraid of, huh?

We aren't going to get married. I like girls with boobs.

- Me, men with balls.

I've fulfilled my contract, I'm gone. See you.

- Ah, fuck... Such a crap city !

I preferred the others. Well, anyways.

- I learned from your marriage.

It isn't very reassuring for your file.

- But...

- Actually, what is your situation? - My situation?

- Are you married? Single? It's confusing.

- No, but...

The wedding isn't canceled, it's postponed.

My mother-in-law had a heart attack... a faintness.

As soon as she's better, we are going to get married.

- Hmm... it doesn't look simple. Where do you live?

- In the 11e. - No...

I meant, with your husband? Will he adopt the child?

- Of course ! We are preparing his room.

- "Of course" ! Nothing is obvious for me.

- For the time being...

Ai ! - What?

- The baby is giving some kicks.

Your file will be in stand-by, it's not clear.

Sorry.

- How are you?

- I'm better. Why are you here?

- I was worried.

So, are we talking about the contract?

- I hired you, and it was expensive, so that...

...you were going to be the perfect wife.

The thing is that it worked because everyone thinks you're...

...perfect. - I think it's obvious.

- But they want to kill me because I let you go.

- Yes, so?

- So, new plan, a very smart plan...

You come back with me, but you've changed.

You are execrable, a freak, an horror.

They beg me to split up with you.

Okay?

Nobody tells me about wedding anymore.

- You are really twisted.

I'll live with you. - What?

Why?

- They will imagine you're stuck with a witch.

It will thus means more pressure.

- Ok, but we'll deduct a part of the fee.

- I'll have my room.

- But no meals.

No problem. Are you ready?

- Mom.

Look who's here.

- Emma ! - Hello.

- This is the duplicate of the caretaker's keys.

- Not bad...

...here.

- In the bathroom, you'll have...

...to turn off the faucet firmly. - There's a leak,

- It's 100 euros. - No, it leaves some traces,

...I don't like that.

- How many rooms are there? - One.

and a sofa.

- Try not to make a mess.

- Is it the first time someone lives here?

- Yes and it will be the last.

- A tour? - Sure.

- My office. - I like it.

It could be another room. - Yes, but no.

- Shit, Axelle with my laundry.

- I'm badly parked.

Emma ! How are you? - Good.

- It's a pleasure to hear that.

- Do you want a coffee? - No thanks, I'm late.

- "A coffee"? And what about some coins in the parking meter?

- 2 seconds !

Later, lovebirds.

- I'm going to poop.

- Oh, well... see you !

- "I'm going to poop."

- That's all you can come up with? - Give me some time, I'm warming up.

- You have to think the way they think, okay?

I'm sensitive to smells, so...

...the cigarette...

You have to get...

...into their minds.

To repel someone... Excuse me.

My working tools.

Stay focus.

To repel someone,

...you have to know his taste. - No.

- Yes.

- No.

- Yes.

- No.

- Of course yes.

- No.

- Yes.

- No.

- Anyways...

The idea is to...

...systematically, one after another,

...hurt the sensible point.

First, Carole.

No, everything's ugly.

- A day without ! - No, everything's really ugly.

Oops !

- Oh !

- Sorry. Well...

I'm leaving.

I'm gonna have my hair removed from my pussy.

- What? She's crazy, She's insane.

I'm calling her right away.

- No, be nice to her. - Bring her some flowers.

- What? - And beautiful ones.

- She came back for mom. Not for you - She's hurt.

- I'm the one who's hurt.

- For you, it's chronic. - The story with Kristen...

- It's here, here ! - It's "Kirsten" !

- There's nothing between us.

- And the pictures? - And what?

- We can see a kiss... - You look ridiculous like a male pigeon...

...in front of his female pigeon.

She felt betrayed.

- What did I do to deserve this?

Your selfishness almost killed mom.

- You will soon...

...be considered as an old handsome guy.

- We found you a great girl.

- I found her. - Oh, don't start with it.

- And then, well... - Pouf pouf, okay.

You're right, I screwed up.

From now on, I'll be careful.

- What from now on?

- With the next girl I meet.

- You're dumb ! - You aren't going to leave...

...Emma ! - Apologize.

- Get along !

- We see you for Marie's birthday.

You'll apologize in front of everyone.

- Emma !

- Emma !

- Emma !

It's a total failure.

My sisters think you wanted to piss me off.

- We are forgiving you,

...you are awesome.

- That's nice.

- Yeah, great.

- What do I do?

- What is that smell?

- Emma, come !

- What is that?

- I'm restoring an antique piece of furniture.

- Here?

- Yes, it's no bother.

- What? It's here that it...

...bothers the most !

- It's where I'm working ! - I'm working too.

I restore antique furniture.

- In my office.

Do you know what kind of pollution your chemical products represent?

- It's killing my nose.

- Oh, calm down, you're so squeamish !

- We have a contract

- It doesn't say anything...

...about my job.

I'm playing my role, I restore antique...

...furniture !

Sorry for being convincing !

- I can't work...

...in an old factory hostile surroundings.

- Have you ever seen the baby?

- Only in video, but I'm going to see him soon.

- The first meeting must be... - Hmm.

- What's his name? - Sandro.

- Where is he in Brazil?

- Excuse me.

- Go ahead.

- Yes? - It's Luis.

I wanted to apologize for yesterday.

I was an idiot. Would you accept...

...my invitation to a restaurant, with me tonight?

A very nice restaurant.

The head-cook will cook something just for you.

- A one-to-one?

- Well.

- The violet,

...doesn't want to be smelled.

- Really? - Her particularity...

...is to block the smell's receptor

When you smell it, you can't smell it again suddenly.

You'll have to wait to be able to smell it again.

- That's weird. - Yes, it's violet.

- The sensation of a souvenir... intangible.

- I love...

...this part.

- What movie is that? - "Muthu",

...a cult Indian movie.

- "Muthu"?

- Dinner is ready.

It's better when it's hot.

- Is this scallop-shell?

- Yes. Do you like truffles?

- Are we on familiar terms?

- Yeah.

You take a small piece of each thing.

You create your own mix of flavours.

Excuse me...

Hello?

Now?

Ok, understood.

I have to work.

- At this time?

I'm not going to eat alone !

- Francis needs a hand.

- Here...

- Ok well...

- See you later.

- Such a shame. - Yes.

- You'll tell me...

...the end. - They all die.

- Do it, the complete thing Like this.

- No, slowly. - Okay, push !

- No, boys, the sofa at the entrance !

- He starts to piss me off, Francis.

To empty his whole flat before the control,

...it's steep. - Yes.

- When was this thing made?

- This, is...

when we used to make heavy stuff. - Emma would know.

- Put down, put down !

- How is it going? - Great.

- She doesn't talk you too much about Ga�l? - Who's that?

- Her ex from Bali. She didn't tell you about him?

- She never talked about any beach bums. - No !

- Ga�l, he's an internet millionaire.

40 years old, cultured.

I really liked him.

She didn't, since he's an "ex".

Did it last long? - 5 years.

- They were supposed to get married, She loved him.

- She didn't tell you about him? - No !

You aren't going to ask 50 times.

Hey !

I'm carrying Gulliver's toothpick alone !

- It's okay.

- And so? - She was crazy in love with him.

And she left without telling him.

She was fed up of waiting for him to have a baby with her.

- Yes, didn't he want one? - I don't think so.

- However, it's the only thing she thinks about.

That's why she's adopting.

- She's adopting? - Yes, she is.

- How are you?

- Ah ! Hello.

- Pretty, your child bed.

- Do we adress as "vous" today?

- No, well... How is it going?

- Fine, I'm going to paint it.

- Boy or girl?

- A boy, the child of a friend.

- Of a friend. Hum.

- I'll borrow you the book.

- When you tell it, it's boring.

- We say: "J'ai la dent molle."

- We never say it. In which...

- We also say: "J'ai la main dure."

- Axelle isn't ignoring you, you know.

- Everything's fine actually.

- I think you're really pretty.

- Really?

Well, thanks.

That's a dress I bought...

- Happy Birthday.

Genevi�ve, let's talk about the inheritance.

You're not going to live forever.

- Tss, tss.

- Well, Emma !

- You can't say that !

- Carole ! 'Mrs Tolerance'...

...usually.

No, - Emma is right.

It's not a taboo in the family.

Well !

By the way !

The Costa diamond will go to Luis' wife.

- Honey, I'll give you my mom's aquamarine.

- Ah...yes... I'm dreaming.

Nothing against you,

...Emmanuelle,

...but I love the diamond. - Oh l� l� !

My daughters are crazy. - Such a nice...

...atmosphere ! - That's enough.

- What? - What's going on?

- She's ill-bred. - Hmm !

- Sorry... - Luis !

- Come, we're leaving. - What?

- She wants to stay.

- If you shit on the table, they would say: "Oh, she ate well."

- I would have loved doing that to my parents.

They are annoying as hell.

It's a failure, huh !?

No? Yes, it's a failure.

But not that much... With my sisters, it's going pretty well.

- But with your mother, no. - Yes, my mom...

- You can't wait to see Luis.

- Yihou !

- Yihou !

- Luis, Emma !

It's mama !

- A�e, a�e !

- Yiha, yihou !

Harder !

Yiha !

It's good, you have to add spice to your relationship.

Here, I,

...I don't look like...

Well,

...with Hercules...

- Mom,

...it's okay.

- With Hercules, what we loved, is...

- No, it's enough !

- Oh come on !

Once... the children...

...weren't far...

- I'm not listening, la la... - Ok !

Oh l� l�, He's narrow-minded !

- Well I think you have better things to do than listen to me...

Goodbye ! - Goodbye.

- Have fun !

- Ah ! You hit me hard with that celery.

- I'm fed up with this, now. - Fed up with what?

- Fed up with acting.

Playing the bitch, It's hard for me.

- Me too!

- That sounds like Pierre-Yves.

- 15,000 euros. - Yes,

...exactly!

15,000 euros! You really are pathetic!

You spend...

...a fortune, not to confront your family!

- And you, instead of conceiving a baby,

...you go and buy one.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...

- That's mean. - Yes, it's mean.

- No, but... please forgive me.

- Well, it's ok.

Go wear underwears.

- Oh ! Are we going out? You should have told me.

- I'm going out. I'm having dinner with Ga�l, my ex.

- He's here in Paris. - Ah, Ga�l..."The" Ga�l.

And where is he staying?

To the Ritz? The Plaza? The Costes?

He owns a suite at the Meurice.

You're jealous !

Not at all. "Help me", no connections.

I'm going to get prepared.

If he rings, open.

- Of course.

I'll take his coat.

and I'll offer him a cocktail.

to Ga�l !

Ga�l !

- Goodnight, I'm coming for...

- Emmanuelle? She's coming.

Come in.

She's getting ready.

I'm not the butler.

I have neither champagne, nor Martini-Fin.

- Ga�l. You are Luis? - Yes.

- Emma told me she lived in your apartment. - Yes.

- Not all of us are living in palaces. - We are better at friends'.

- I'm sleeping at some friends' in the 9e.

- Oh really? I thought that...

- You were wrong.

- Hi.

- So, shall we? - Yes.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- "Muthu".

Ah, it's you?

I fell asleep.

- Me too, in the taxi.

- Good night. - Good night.

- We finish the contract tomorrow? - Yes.

- The book I told you about.

- Ah yes ! - It's no more edited. I'll borrow it to you.

- Thanks.

- There is more gratin left. Come on !

Who wants some more?

- Please. - Ah?

- Yes? - Emma wants to say something.

- Are you pregnant?

- An alien in the belly, saggy breast,

...the puking, no !

We're adopting.

Awesome !

That's wonderful.

You're father would be proud of you. Thanks !

Where does the child come from?

- From Brasil. - A girl or a boy?

- A boy. - Yes !

- An his first name? - Jean-Claude !

- Raoul, that's pretty, Raoul !

- G�rard !

- Very funny. - No, Fernand !

- Oh yes, Fernand ! My little Fernand !

- There isn't worse than Fernand !

- There isn't worse.

- Yes, there is Adolf.

- Or Hercules !

Hercules Costa !

Hercules ! "la loose"...

Hercules...

2 who take him, 3 who fuck him !

- I know.

Mom, I know. I told her.

You can't condemn someone at her first mistake.

Mom ! Wait !

I have 2 news.

One good and one good.

The good one first?

They don't want to see you anymore.

Wedding is out of the picture.

Yes !

Yes ! Yes !

Here.

To our success.

- Thanks.

- To our freedom.

- The bubbles are really thin.

- Oh, shit ! - Ah no, come on.

- It doesn't bother me, actually. - What?

- You're lousy !

- But you !

- Wait, what's the plan?

- What?

- You kiss me and then what?

I don't know, we...

"We" nothing, wait !

Your family hates me, and you want to kiss me.

What is your plan?

I have no plan.

What are you going to tell them?

"She was high for three days, now she's fine"?

"It was a TV candid camera. Funny, isn't it?"

- No, no.

- I'm going to say...

I'm going to say... - Say what?

- "Here is Emma, I'm with her."

- I'm going to say...

- It's her or us, Luis.

- Why, her or us?

- You heard me well.

- Why should I choose?

"Why?"

The voices gets louder.

- It must have been tensed. - The hysteria !

- So? - It's useless to talk to them now.

I thought that we could secretly meet for 2 or 3 months.

Like this, we could live in peace and secretly.

Furthermore, it's a little bit exciting, isn't it?

What?

- I want my 15,000.

- Woah...

What do you mean?

- Luis !

Taxi !

- Woah ! - Yes, well? Woah.

- It's wonderful. Subtle, light, strong...

- If the president's wife likes...

- She loves. - How did you do it?

- There are animal and feminime touches.

And this background? An oil...

...intoxicating but volatile. What is it?

- Some turpentine.

No, I'm just kidding.

- We're not revealing all our secrets.

- Ladies, gentlemen ! I made a decision.

I'm going to get all this repainted in purple!

Well, eat otherwise we throw in the garbage !

The profusion of buffet!

It costs a lot!

While with this money...

- In this job, we spend too much.

- Ah, thanks !

When I say this, they say I'm a cheapskate.

No, it's only some anti-consumerism.

Some anti-consumerism.

- Ah but, of course. It's exactly that.

- Have a drink.

- Are you okay?

- You like "those big things with boobies"?

- No, but she's nice.

We were talking about... We share many things, actually.

- Apparently, she looks interested.

- If I disappear for 1 hour, will she still be here?

- Why disappear for an hour? Stay here.

- Emma has an appointment with the adoption agency.

- What do I do with this? Garbage?

Make casseroles with it?

- No please... - You lied to me.

You told me stories about your 'non existent' husband.

Listen, here... I have...

- Sorry.

It's hard to get a parking !

How are you my love?

And... you are?

- Sorry, Luis Costa.

The husband.

I mean, the future husband...

...of Emmanuelle.

I'm sorry... I think I just broke my water.

Really?

What is it?

I'll drive you.

- Which clinic? - Isis.

Is the car parked far?

- No. - Can you take my things?

- Yes. - Thanks.

Sorry, can't stop looking at it.

So?

Approved.

Thanks.

Thanks to Francine Lebrun, most of all.

Look inside.

- What is it?

- It's a piano !

- I made it...

...especially for you.

When are you...

...going to Brazil? - I don't know...

As soon as possible, tomorrow, or the day after.

You can stop here.

Thanks.

What is he doing? He told us to come and he's not here !

- So, Pipou?

- No !

Not Pipou ! Enough Pipou !

It's over Pipou !

Luis ! No more Pipou !

Listen to me carefully, all of you !

I hired Emma.

I paid her.

To be the one you expected,

...so that she would desert me at the altar,

...I would be overwhelmed with grief...

...so you all would get off my back!

I know, it's pathetic.

It worked,

...you loved her.

And I hired her again so that you would hate her.

And then, it worked.

Ok?

But I don't care anymore if...

...you like her or not.

And these closed curtains, I can't bear it anymore !

- Ah !

- No. what's going on?

- No, no fainting. Sit down.

You're making my head spin !

I'm finishing.

Then, you can die.

I like Emma, I do. As it is.

So, the issue of the day, is "I love her".

I'm going to do what I can to take her back.

If it works, I'm going to spend my life with her.

Agreed.

Mom, I don't have to choose. It's her and you.

I decide for myself. Like this, I will be happy.

And it doesn't prevent me from loving you too !

- I was bringing back...

...Maxine's book.

- Well.

- Here... I present to you, Emma.

The real Emma.

Emma, I present to you...

...my mom and my 5 sisters.

Err... I want to spend my life with you.

And Sandro.

And I love you.

I thought it would be harder to say but...

That was easy.

- You promised you'll make efforts and stick to it?

- Yes. - Sandro !

No brushing teeth,

...no games. So do it !

Does the M6 agree?

- Agreed.

- You are going to traumatize him, leave him alone.

- I won't go with you ! - See, he's traumatized !

- Come with grandma, I baked you a cake.

- I don't want it !

- He loves my cakes !

- Come, Sandro !

He's traumatized ! He doesn't want my cakes anymore.

He's cute, nevertheless.

- Well, boys, more firmness ! Ok.