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== HACKS ==
Season 1 - Episode 4
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00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Episode Title: "D'Jewelry"
Aired on: May 20, 2021
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00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:33,166
- Hi, Mommy.
4
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,041
- Hi, DJ.
5
00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:40,583
- So you hear
"resort collection"
6
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,541
and your brain
automatically goes to,
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00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,416
"I got the color palette
for this.
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00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,250
Pastels." Right?
9
00:00:46,333 --> 00:00:47,625
- Yeah, you've got--
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00:00:47,708 --> 00:00:49,166
yeah, you've got
some great ones in there.
11
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,583
- Well, that's
where you're wrong.
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00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:52,125
And now you're thinking,
"Oh, shit.
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00:00:52,208 --> 00:00:53,750
"If I'm wrong about pastels,
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00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:56,083
then it's got to be gem tones."
15
00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:57,791
And see,
now you're getting warmer.
16
00:00:57,875 --> 00:00:59,500
But what I would say
to that is,
17
00:00:59,583 --> 00:01:01,458
"Go ahead and drop
the 'tones.'"
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00:01:01,541 --> 00:01:05,000
This year's theme
is simply 'gems.'"
19
00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:06,375
- Ah.
- Look.
20
00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,708
I mean, look
at this piece right here.
21
00:01:07,791 --> 00:01:09,000
Are you seeing this?
22
00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:10,500
This is just
straight-up wearable art.
23
00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:11,875
- Yeah.
24
00:01:11,958 --> 00:01:13,833
- And it just--
it screams D'Jewelry.
25
00:01:13,916 --> 00:01:16,791
Don't you agree?
- It does.
26
00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:18,500
It does.
- Okay.
27
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,250
- Are you putting an apostrophe
in that word?
28
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:22,958
I forget.
- Yeah, "D'Jewelry."
29
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,666
- Oh, mm-hmm.
30
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,875
- So what do you think?
31
00:01:27,541 --> 00:01:29,875
- I think that juice
is just sugar,
32
00:01:29,958 --> 00:01:32,083
and I think you know that.
33
00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:34,041
- Mom.
34
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,000
About the collection.
35
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:40,958
- I think it is absolutely you,
honey.
36
00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:42,291
- Okay!
37
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:43,750
Okay, I'll send you
the whole look book.
38
00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:45,166
It's a really big file,
39
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:46,541
so you let me know
if you need me to zip it.
40
00:01:46,625 --> 00:01:48,791
- Oh, please zip it.
- I'll zip it.
41
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,125
I'll zip it, no problem.
- Okay.
42
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:51,416
- The hard copy's
still being bound.
43
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,708
Don't even get me started.
44
00:01:52,791 --> 00:01:54,083
I threw a fucking fit
at Kinko's.
45
00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:55,708
Don't worry,
it was a whole thing.
46
00:01:55,791 --> 00:01:57,083
And I have to say,
47
00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:58,875
this is gonna be huge
for QVC as well
48
00:01:58,958 --> 00:02:01,833
because they could really use
a young, fresh-faced designer.
49
00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:03,333
- Yeah.
50
00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:05,333
- So you'll talk to 'em?
51
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,291
- Sure.
52
00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,000
- Thank you so much.
53
00:02:08,083 --> 00:02:09,333
I really appreciate it.
54
00:02:09,416 --> 00:02:10,958
Just with Dad dying
and everything,
55
00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:13,875
I mean, I could just
really use a win.
56
00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:18,416
God, this shit is so cool.
57
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,666
Did you see this one?
58
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:29,458
- So I found someone who wants
to rent your LA place.
59
00:02:29,541 --> 00:02:31,541
- Oh, shit, really?
Thank you so much.
60
00:02:31,625 --> 00:02:33,208
- Also, I took down a wall
in the kitchen.
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00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:36,208
It begged me to do it.
- What? No! You can't--
62
00:02:36,958 --> 00:02:39,125
Oh, wow, that's--
that's actually much better.
63
00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:40,166
- I know.
64
00:02:42,291 --> 00:02:43,666
- Oh, my God.
65
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,083
We didn't even have
to go through security?
66
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,541
Amazing.
67
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,166
Holy shit, this is nice.
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00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,625
- I know.
Epstein estate sale.
69
00:02:51,708 --> 00:02:53,333
- No!
- No.
70
00:02:53,416 --> 00:02:56,166
Stop acting like a hillbilly
and sit down.
71
00:02:58,333 --> 00:02:59,750
- All right, Barry, come on.
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00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:00,958
Come on, let's go.
73
00:03:01,041 --> 00:03:03,083
- Uh-uh, that's his seat.
74
00:03:07,958 --> 00:03:10,541
She didn't know. It's okay.
75
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,750
Baby boy.
76
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:14,958
You're mommy's big,
handsome boy.
77
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,083
Okay, the first thing
that we're gonna be selling
78
00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:22,541
is foot spas.
79
00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:24,583
- Okay, foot spa.
80
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:27,375
Um, let's see.
81
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:31,958
Feet, toes, pedicure...
82
00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:33,458
- Wow.
83
00:03:33,541 --> 00:03:35,916
It's like watching
Picasso sing.
84
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,125
- You mean paint?
- No.
85
00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:41,541
- Okay, um...
86
00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:43,625
oh, what about
something about WikiFeet?
87
00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,166
Like, um,
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00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:47,625
"Ladies, use this and your
tootsies will look so good,
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00:03:47,708 --> 00:03:49,250
you'll break WikiFeet."
90
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:50,708
- What's WikiFeet?
91
00:03:50,791 --> 00:03:51,958
- Oh, um,
92
00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:53,083
so you know how, like,
93
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,625
some men are horny for feet?
94
00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:55,833
- Sure.
95
00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:57,166
- So it's Wikipedia
96
00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:59,041
but for celebrity feet.
97
00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:00,625
- Jesus.
98
00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:03,041
Am I on it?
99
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:04,875
Yes.
100
00:04:04,958 --> 00:04:06,875
- Hmm.
101
00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:08,125
Oh, but the next thing--
102
00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:09,500
I really want
to push this too--
103
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:14,750
is the progesterone
drink packets.
104
00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,125
- What is this?
105
00:04:16,208 --> 00:04:18,083
- That is the Tahitian
grapefruit flavor.
106
00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:20,916
- No, like, what's
a progesterone packet?
107
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,541
- Well, progesterone
is the female hormone
108
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:23,916
that allows women
to get pregnant
109
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,833
and to stay looking young.
110
00:04:25,916 --> 00:04:27,291
But then when menopause starts,
111
00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:29,166
your body stops
producing progesterone
112
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,375
and everything
kind of goes to hell.
113
00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:32,375
You know, your hair turns gray.
114
00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:34,333
Your body stops
metabolizing fat.
115
00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:37,583
Your skin and your nails
start to crack like old clay.
116
00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:39,000
It's pretty much
Mother Nature telling you
117
00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:40,875
to move to the back
of the cave.
118
00:04:40,958 --> 00:04:43,708
But the Deborah Vance
progesterone supplement
119
00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:45,416
replaces some
of that progesterone
120
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,666
the body has stopped producing.
121
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:50,541
You can just stay hot
until you...
122
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:51,833
go off it,
123
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,750
which most people do
eventually because
124
00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:55,625
sustained use does
sort of raise the risk
125
00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:58,666
of ovarian and breast cancer.
126
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,166
Anyway...
127
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,791
got jokes for that?
128
00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:05,541
- Um...
129
00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:08,458
I'm just learning about
all this stuff, so I'm--
130
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:09,750
I'm gonna need a minute
131
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:12,000
before I come up
with something funny.
132
00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:14,250
- Okay, honey.
You take your minute.
133
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:20,666
Well, this ruined my first PJ.
134
00:05:22,166 --> 00:05:23,583
Private jet.
135
00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,708
- You with those killer heels,
I can imagine you need
136
00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:28,000
one of these in every room.
137
00:05:28,083 --> 00:05:29,333
- Oh, I do have one
in every room.
138
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,750
I absolutely love them.
139
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,916
And I got to tell you,
I get so many emails
140
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,250
and direct messages about
how people love this product.
141
00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:36,750
- Oh, Katie, it is
really resonating.
142
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:39,166
And, ladies, if you want
to break WikiFeet,
143
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,708
got to order
one of my foot spas.
144
00:05:40,791 --> 00:05:43,500
- Oh, absolutely.
- I pitched that.
145
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,541
- How 'bout we pivot now
and talk about
146
00:05:46,625 --> 00:05:48,083
the microfiber dusting kit?
147
00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,166
- Let's.
148
00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:56,250
- At some point,you have to pick a genital.
149
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,833
- Okay, maybe we could
just have a code word
150
00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:00,583
I can use for when you
say something monosexist.
151
00:06:00,666 --> 00:06:02,916
- Monosexist?
- There you go.
152
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,166
That's a great code word
for it, thank you.
153
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,541
- Mom, I've been calling you.
154
00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,583
What'd they say at QVC
about bringing me in?
155
00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:10,916
- DJ, I'm working,
156
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,250
and you're being rude to Ava.
157
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:14,333
- Who?
158
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,791
Oh, her?
159
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,458
Okay, did they like
the look book, though?
160
00:06:17,541 --> 00:06:18,583
Could they open the zip?
161
00:06:18,666 --> 00:06:19,916
- You know, there really wasn't
162
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,333
a good moment to bring it up.
163
00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:23,333
- Wait a sec,
you didn't even mention it?
164
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:24,833
- DJ, I told you, I'm working.
165
00:06:24,916 --> 00:06:26,791
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, you're always working.
166
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,375
You're also lying to me.
167
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,666
'Cause you know they'd listen
to anything you said.
168
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,791
- You know, um, you're right.
169
00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:35,083
I was trying to protect you,
but since you're pushing me,
170
00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:37,916
I didn't mention D'Jewelry
because it's not good enough.
171
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,208
- It looks like junk
from a mall kiosk.
172
00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:44,958
- Okay.
173
00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:47,208
You think it's junk?
174
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:48,458
You're insane.
175
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:51,041
- Just make it better.
176
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,500
And don't give up on it
just because I'm pushing you,
177
00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:55,166
like you did
with your essential oils.
178
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:58,416
- Losing a protracted
legal battle isn't giving up.
179
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,875
And I never once said
180
00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:02,500
that my oils would cure
all types of autism.
181
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:04,500
Well, does this mean
you're not gonna come
182
00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:06,250
to my trade show
this afternoon?
183
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,458
- I told you, I'm going to
Marty's daughter's bat mitzvah,
184
00:07:08,541 --> 00:07:10,000
and then I have a show.
185
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,291
- Right, yeah.
186
00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:12,750
I guess it's good
that you can be there
187
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,000
for someone's kid, right?
188
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:17,583
God forbid you do
one fucking thing for me.
189
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:20,500
- You have no idea
how much I do for you.
190
00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:22,333
- Um, okay, I think
I'll just go in the other--
191
00:07:22,416 --> 00:07:23,833
- No, no, no, no. It's fine.
192
00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:26,833
I'm just--I'm calling it early
today, anyway.
193
00:07:26,916 --> 00:07:28,833
take the afternoon off
194
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,958
and get your tubes tied.
195
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:39,958
- Hey, um,
196
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:42,041
do you want me to come
to your show with you?
197
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,875
If you need someone there.
198
00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:45,250
- You don't have to do that
199
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,041
just 'cause you feel
sorry for me.
200
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,958
- Well, actually, I just think
it would really piss her off
201
00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:52,916
if I went with you, so...
202
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,791
- Okay, you fucking rule.
Let's do it.
203
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,875
I call shotgun.
204
00:07:57,958 --> 00:07:59,666
- I guess I'll drive.
205
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:01,416
♪ You breathe ♪
206
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,041
♪ I breathe ♪
207
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,875
♪ We're breathing each other ♪
208
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:08,666
♪ That you got from your mother ♪
209
00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:11,916
One practice swing
and then...
210
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000
- Shalom!
211
00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:16,791
You look fabulous.
212
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,708
- Thank you.
213
00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:20,541
- Hey, Marcus.
- Marty.
214
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,583
I'm gonna get a drink.
- Okay.
215
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:25,666
- So you're not
still mad at me.
216
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,083
- Oh, I just really love Ali,
217
00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:28,958
and that's why I got her this.
218
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:32,250
It's the limited-edition
Birkin that she wanted.
219
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,125
- Well, that's very generous
of you, Deborah.
220
00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:35,416
- Oh, it's not just the purse.
221
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,458
It's what comes with it.
222
00:08:37,541 --> 00:08:40,583
This is a letter from
the headmaster at St. Xavier's.
223
00:08:40,666 --> 00:08:42,500
So you let me keep my dates,
224
00:08:42,583 --> 00:08:46,416
Ali gets to go to school
with all her little friends.
225
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,375
- I'm not changing my mind.
226
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:51,000
But you must have gone
through some trouble because
227
00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:52,958
if I remember correctly,
DJ drove her Jeep
228
00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:55,625
through the gym at St. Xavier's
her junior year.
229
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:58,166
- It was a Range Rover
through the rare book room,
230
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,166
and I fully funded the rebuild.
231
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,083
- Still friends, right?
232
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,666
- Oh, the best of.
233
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:09,958
- Oh, my God.
234
00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:12,208
Marcus!
235
00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:13,916
Do not get me in trouble today.
236
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,208
I always drink too much
when you're around.
237
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:17,583
Double vodka soda.
238
00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:19,708
- This is
a beautiful event, Rina.
239
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:21,500
- It's been like pulling teeth.
240
00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:24,000
Marty nickel-and-dimed it
the entire time.
241
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,458
I had to fight him
242
00:09:25,541 --> 00:09:27,500
to have lamb chops
as a passed hors d'oeuvre.
243
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:29,875
Can you believe?
This is a bat mitzvah.
244
00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:31,125
- Ugh, God.
245
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,583
Now, where's
the new girlfriend?
246
00:09:33,666 --> 00:09:34,750
- Ivy.
247
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:37,166
Marty says she's an old soul.
248
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,625
- Lucky Marty,
keeps finding old souls
249
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,666
in 26-year-old bodies.
250
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,333
- Look, I don't know
what to tell you, man.
251
00:09:47,416 --> 00:09:48,916
There's sewage coming out
of the shower hole,
252
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,625
and this tenant is, like,
a giant pain in my ass,
253
00:09:50,708 --> 00:09:52,916
so it needs to be done,
like, fricking yesterday.
254
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,875
Yeah, I've got Venmo.
255
00:09:56,958 --> 00:10:00,666
Ugh, managing a building
is a nightmare.
256
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:03,125
- Wait, you're--
you're a building manager?
257
00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:04,666
- Yeah, I manage
the building I live in
258
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,500
in exchange for rent.
259
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:09,000
I get it, you thought
I was some, like, hot rich kid
260
00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:10,708
living off her parents' money?
261
00:10:10,791 --> 00:10:13,583
- Um, kind of.
262
00:10:13,666 --> 00:10:14,708
- I don't blame you;
I would've thought
263
00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:15,833
the same thing, but nope.
264
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,583
I am a professional.
265
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:27,208
I tumble my rocks myself.
- Oh, I see.
266
00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:28,833
- It's kind of
what sets me apart
267
00:10:28,916 --> 00:10:31,708
'cause, you know,
nobody else here self-tumbles.
268
00:10:31,791 --> 00:10:33,166
- Cool.
- Yeah.
269
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:35,500
So what's your earring story?
270
00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:37,125
- My what?
- Well, I'm seeing
271
00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:38,541
two studs, a huggie hoop,
272
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:40,208
and then a couple vacant holes
that just aren't
273
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,541
living up to their potential.
274
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:42,875
What did you have in mind
with that?
275
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:45,041
- Um, God, not much.
276
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:46,791
I didn't really think about it.
- No, you didn't
277
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:49,083
think it through.
- Yeah, no.
278
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,125
- Um...
279
00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:56,541
Okay, all right.
280
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,500
Why don't you scoot
that huggie up,
281
00:10:58,583 --> 00:11:00,416
pop these in the empties?
282
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:03,291
Let's see what's what.
283
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,750
Oh, shit!
284
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,125
I mean, those look hot on you.
285
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:09,500
- Oh, yeah.
286
00:11:09,583 --> 00:11:10,916
- You go ahead
and wear those today.
287
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,125
You can be my model.
288
00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:13,375
Check it out.
289
00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:15,000
- Oh, wow.
- What do you think?
290
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,958
- They are...
291
00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,125
substantial.
292
00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:20,333
- Yeah, right?
293
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:22,583
- I mean, they look...
294
00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:24,791
like a key
to another dimension.
295
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:25,916
- Thank you.
296
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,083
So much cooler than something
297
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:29,416
from a fuckin' mall kiosk.
298
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,083
Right?
299
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,416
- Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
300
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:35,000
She was really harsh
back there.
301
00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:36,250
- Whatever.
302
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,000
I spent thousands
of hours in therapy
303
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:40,333
trying to process
how to deal with Deborah.
304
00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:42,416
- Well it's good
you're doing the work.
305
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,875
Your mom once told me
therapy is for bulimics
306
00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:45,916
and pedophiles.
- Pedophiles?
307
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,625
Yeah, she loves that one.
308
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,791
- God, it's so nice to be able
to vent about her to someone.
309
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:52,541
- Oh, God, I am so down.
310
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:55,125
And look, I get it.
I'm not perfect, right?
311
00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:56,833
I'm always gonna be
a work in progress.
312
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,291
- Yeah.
- But I'm finally able
313
00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:01,000
to practice
radical acceptance, right?
314
00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:02,708
So I can just radically accept
315
00:12:02,791 --> 00:12:04,791
that my mom is a cunt.
316
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:08,958
- I wasn't joking, but...
317
00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:11,000
I can see why you'd laugh.
- Oh, sorry.
318
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:13,083
- Yeah.
My chokers are unisex.
319
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:16,666
- I can't let you drink that.
320
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,916
- Yeah, leave the cheap wine
for the kids.
321
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:21,708
Now...
322
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,875
ah.
323
00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:25,666
Isn't this the one
you liked last time?
324
00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:29,166
That is the one
I loved last time.
325
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,500
Open it.
326
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,791
- Yes, ma'am.
327
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,166
- Your collection
has really grown
328
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:37,333
since the last time
I was down here.
329
00:12:37,416 --> 00:12:38,666
- Well, they say
if you collect,
330
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,750
it's not a problem;
it's a hobby.
331
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,750
- Well, the first step
is admitting you have a hobby.
332
00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:46,666
Ah, I love that sound.
333
00:12:47,916 --> 00:12:50,291
- Let's drink to your daughter
334
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:51,500
becoming a woman.
335
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,916
- She's a good kid.
336
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,291
Mostly.
- Yeah, well, I know
337
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,000
where she gets
her naughtiness from.
338
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,333
- Her mother.
- Ha, nice try.
339
00:13:00,916 --> 00:13:03,666
So, Deborah Vance,
340
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,583
what's new with you?
341
00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:07,750
- Well, lately
I've been trying to wrestle
342
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:10,666
my stage time back
from a handsome tyrant.
343
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:12,208
- Oh, come on.
344
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,083
I talk business all day.
345
00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:15,750
You're the one person
I'd love to talk
346
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:17,541
about anything else with.
347
00:13:18,958 --> 00:13:20,125
- Okay.
348
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:21,875
Okay.
- Okay.
349
00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:25,250
Cheers.
350
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,458
Mmm.
351
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,750
I'm getting plum
352
00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:35,708
and licorice?
353
00:13:35,791 --> 00:13:37,875
- Honestly, I'm getting mint.
354
00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:39,250
I forgot to spit out my gum.
355
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:43,375
Jesus.
356
00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:45,666
Maybe it'll be better now.
357
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:48,458
- Oh, I haven't even
told my mom I live here yet.
358
00:13:48,541 --> 00:13:51,541
She's gonna freak when she
finds out I lost my deal.
359
00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:54,041
Also, my mom's not
a conspiracy theorist,
360
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,666
but I think that's just 'cause
her Internet's too slow.
361
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,708
- God, moms are the worst.
362
00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:01,583
I'm so sorry you have to deal
with yours and mine now.
363
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,416
I honestly can't believe
that she's making you
364
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,916
watch all of the stupid shit
she's ever done.
365
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,041
- It's a lot, yeah.
366
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:08,375
- So stupid.
- It's a lot.
367
00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:09,750
Though I got to say,
368
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,833
it is crazy she was
almost the first woman
369
00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:13,125
to host a late-night show.
370
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:14,875
- Yeah, and maybe
if she hadn't acted like
371
00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:17,791
a frickin' pyro,
they would've picked it up.
372
00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:20,583
- Sounds like it was
a dramatic time.
373
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:22,750
- It's always a dramatic time
with her.
374
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,750
- Yeah.
- Do you know my aunt/stepmom's
375
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:27,125
been trying to talk to her
for, like, 40 years?
376
00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:28,583
The woman doesn't
let anything go.
377
00:14:28,666 --> 00:14:29,791
- Jesus.
378
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,416
- Laurie, my--
that's my therapist.
379
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,041
She's always telling me
my trauma started
380
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,041
when she dragged me out
on the road with her.
381
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,250
I mean, I was a kid.
382
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,291
I wanted to go to school,
you know,
383
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:40,000
and just be normal.
- Yeah.
384
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:42,500
- Instead, I'm 13 years old
doing my first line of coke
385
00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:44,208
in the Chuckle Hut
in Kalamazoo.
386
00:14:44,291 --> 00:14:46,000
- Jesus Christ.
- I know.
387
00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:49,958
Was it at least good coke?
388
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:53,583
For a 13-year-old, sure, yeah.
389
00:14:53,666 --> 00:14:54,958
- Listen, I'm not dumb.
390
00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:56,875
I know that I've got to own
my actions,
391
00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:58,208
but she's the reason
392
00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:00,625
I've been in recovery
for 20 years.
393
00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:01,875
20 years!
394
00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:03,125
And do you think
she's ever once
395
00:15:03,208 --> 00:15:04,375
come to a meeting with me?
396
00:15:05,916 --> 00:15:07,583
No, not one.
397
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:11,625
Whatever.
398
00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:16,291
Can you, like, face forward
with those or something?
399
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:17,458
- Yeah.
- I feel like you're not
400
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,333
getting any earring attention.
401
00:15:19,416 --> 00:15:21,958
- Where is it now?
- Another one?
402
00:15:22,041 --> 00:15:25,833
Don't you have to go
step on a glass or whatever?
403
00:15:25,916 --> 00:15:28,625
More fun down here.
404
00:15:28,708 --> 00:15:30,875
Should we be bad
and open the Margaux?
405
00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:32,583
- Oh, you're naughty.
406
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:34,250
Told you where she got it from.
407
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,916
Yeah, that kid.
408
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,208
She told me if I didn't
get her a new iPhone,
409
00:15:39,291 --> 00:15:41,166
she was gonna "join Antifa."
410
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:44,708
No!
411
00:15:44,791 --> 00:15:46,666
Oh, no, but that's good.
That's good.
412
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,250
You want her to be bold,
you know,
413
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:50,875
have personality.
414
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:54,666
Of course, what do I know
about parenting?
415
00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:56,875
- You did the best you could.
416
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,000
- Thanks.
417
00:16:01,583 --> 00:16:02,916
Let me give you a hand.
418
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,166
- Here, I got it.
All the way down and...
419
00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:10,166
- Marty?
420
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,708
- Yeah, hey!
421
00:16:11,791 --> 00:16:14,291
- Baby, I've been looking
all over for you.
422
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:15,583
- Yeah, we'll be right up.
423
00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:17,000
Just giving a little tour.
- Okay.
424
00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:18,375
- Showing me how to use
this thing.
425
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:20,041
- All right.
- Okay, be right up.
426
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:22,000
- Well, I guess...
427
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,958
we should go.
428
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:25,375
- Nah.
429
00:16:25,458 --> 00:16:26,583
It's open now.
430
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:30,708
We might as well just...
431
00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,875
drink it.
432
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,708
One glass.
- One glass.
433
00:16:37,916 --> 00:16:39,416
- We were right there.
434
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,916
- Oh, perfect,
let's get a quick shot
435
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,166
of the beautiful couple.
- Oh, no.
436
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,916
No, no, this is my girl.
437
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,458
Ivy?
- Yes?
438
00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:52,833
- Okay.
439
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:56,166
Beautiful.
440
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:58,916
Great, good.
- One more serious.
441
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:02,416
- Nah, see, belly chains
are always in style
442
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,583
'cause they have ethnic roots.
443
00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:06,875
- Huh.
444
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:08,375
- Oh, shit.
445
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:10,166
Oh, I think I know that woman.
446
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:12,416
That's the buyer
for Neiman Marcus.
447
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,416
Oh, God, I'm getting nervous.
448
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,250
My pits are going
and my mouth is getting dry.
449
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:17,791
How's my breath?
450
00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:19,375
- It's, um--
451
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:21,500
- What am I talking about?
She's never gonna stop here.
452
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,375
My stuff's not good enough.
453
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:26,791
Shit.
454
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:30,291
Where are you--
what are you doing?
455
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,375
What are you doing?
456
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,958
- Oh, hey!
457
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,833
- Hey?
- Didn't we meet
458
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:38,375
at Irene Neuwirth's
birthday party?
459
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,458
- I don't think so.
460
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:41,458
- Blanche from Just One Eye?
461
00:17:41,541 --> 00:17:42,958
- You're from Just One Eye?
462
00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,416
I love that store.
463
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,416
I didn't know they had a buyer.
- Oh, yeah.
464
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,541
I'm actually buying
a ton of stuff right now.
465
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,125
- I self-tumble.
466
00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:53,791
- Cool.
467
00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,500
Can I take your look book?
468
00:17:56,458 --> 00:17:58,125
- Yes.
469
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:01,291
- Hey, if you're ever in LA,
stop by the store.
470
00:18:01,375 --> 00:18:02,750
Our offices are upstairs.
471
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:03,833
- For sure.
472
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,875
Good to see you.
- You too.
473
00:18:05,958 --> 00:18:07,083
- Okay.
474
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:13,250
What was that?
- I don't know!
475
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:14,875
I follow Busy Philipps
on Instagram.
476
00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:17,416
She's constantly posting
about jewelry people.
477
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,791
Oh, thank God watching
thousands and thousands
478
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:21,875
and thousands and thousands
of those stories
479
00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:23,166
finally paid off.
480
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,666
- Okay, bitch,
you keep those earrings
481
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:26,333
because you earned them.
482
00:18:26,416 --> 00:18:28,333
Let's blow this shit
and go celebrate.
483
00:18:28,416 --> 00:18:29,666
I've got
the perfect bar for us.
484
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,541
- Oh, my God,
I would love that.
485
00:18:31,625 --> 00:18:33,708
Wait, um, aren't you--
486
00:18:33,791 --> 00:18:35,083
aren't you in recovery?
487
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,833
- Just for powder
and pills, babe.
488
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,083
Liquid's on the menu.
489
00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:41,458
- Go with--you go with citrus?
490
00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:43,333
Boom, orchard.
491
00:18:43,416 --> 00:18:46,291
- Marty.
- Marcus.
492
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,708
Quieres Cohiba?
493
00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,833
- Oh, I would, but I just
494
00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:50,375
bleached my teeth this morning.
495
00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:52,666
- So look,
496
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,708
the smaller theater
at the casino,
497
00:18:54,791 --> 00:18:55,833
why don't you give it
to Deborah
498
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:57,083
for Fridays and Saturdays?
499
00:18:57,166 --> 00:18:58,750
- You two are relentless.
500
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,250
- I've already cleared it
with the production guys.
501
00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:02,541
They can move the set back
easily on Sunday.
502
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,541
You could double the income
those nights.
503
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,125
She doesn't feel slighted.
504
00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:08,458
Everybody wins.
505
00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:09,958
- Interesting.
506
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:12,083
Let's connect next week.
507
00:19:12,166 --> 00:19:13,375
- All right.
508
00:19:15,958 --> 00:19:17,250
- Showbiz people.
509
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,625
It's always something.
510
00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:22,375
- And...
511
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:23,375
hyah!
512
00:19:23,458 --> 00:19:24,916
- Whoo!
- Oh, yeah!
513
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,208
Right?
514
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,750
- It feels good, doesn't it?
515
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,250
I'm telling you,
for people with mommy issues,
516
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,000
this place is essential.
517
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,583
Oh, work call. Be right back.
518
00:19:34,666 --> 00:19:37,250
- Grab some throwing stars
on your way back.
519
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:38,583
- Okay.
- I'll watch your drink.
520
00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:41,250
- Oh, it's whatever.
521
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,666
- How old are you?
522
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:53,125
- I'm sure you get this
all the time,
523
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:55,375
but it's so awesome
to meet you.
524
00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:56,541
- Oh.
- I'm a fan.
525
00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:57,750
I feel like
I've known you
526
00:19:57,833 --> 00:19:59,791
my whole life.
- Oh, thank you.
527
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,125
- Do you like it?
528
00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:06,125
- Yes, actually, I do.
529
00:20:06,208 --> 00:20:07,791
There are so many kids
running around today,
530
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,416
I hope Marty's got
good insurance.
531
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,041
- Well, the corporation does.
532
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:12,291
Everything's through the corp.
533
00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:17,666
- It is a beautiful piece.
534
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,958
But you know what? I saw...
535
00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:22,166
a sculpture in the hall.
536
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:23,500
Was that you too?
537
00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,041
Guilty!
538
00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:27,125
I actually redid
the whole place myself.
539
00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:30,958
- I knew it.
- I fuckin' love art.
540
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:34,708
- I fucking love art too.
It looks so much better.
541
00:20:34,791 --> 00:20:36,791
I'm thinking of doing
some redecorating myself.
542
00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:38,833
Would you mind terribly
if I just
543
00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:41,208
took a couple pictures
for inspiration?
544
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:43,083
- I am so flattered. Yeah.
545
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:44,500
- Thank you.
546
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:49,083
Do you think I could
also get a little tour?
547
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,291
- I don't know.
548
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,458
Marty doesn't want guests
in certain areas of the house.
549
00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:55,041
- Oh, gosh,
I would have loved
550
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:57,208
to have seen more of your work,
551
00:20:57,291 --> 00:21:00,750
but I guess Marty's the boss.
552
00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:04,375
- I can probably show you
around just a little bit.
553
00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:06,083
- Oh, great.
- But you can't tell Marty.
554
00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:07,166
- Oh.
555
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:13,166
- That really is
556
00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:14,500
a striking piece.
557
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:15,958
It's really--
558
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,333
Would you mind getting one
with me in it for scale?
559
00:21:18,416 --> 00:21:21,375
- Of course; get in there.
- Thanks.
560
00:21:28,916 --> 00:21:31,250
- You dog.
- Just like.
561
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,375
Great.
562
00:21:36,791 --> 00:21:37,916
Fun.
563
00:21:39,291 --> 00:21:41,375
- Ready to go?
- Yup.
564
00:21:41,458 --> 00:21:43,000
Arrange a lunch
with Tim Gurley.
565
00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:46,166
I have some assets
that I want him to appraise.
566
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:48,166
Marty, sweetie,
567
00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:50,375
we're gonna have to
get together for drinks soon.
568
00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:52,791
- Great, I'll have Phyllis set.
569
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:54,000
- Great.
570
00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:57,041
I don't like that.
571
00:22:01,416 --> 00:22:02,875
- The one time I was in LA,
572
00:22:02,958 --> 00:22:05,541
I saw Tobey Maguire
coming out of a Coffee Bean.
573
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:06,958
- Mm.
- He was wearing one
574
00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:08,375
of those boots like when,
575
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,708
you know, you break your ankle.
576
00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:12,375
Do you think that he was
577
00:22:12,458 --> 00:22:14,875
wearing that for a role, or...
578
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,125
do you think he was injured?
579
00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:17,583
Like, does he ski?
580
00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:21,666
- Oh, I--I don't know
if Tobey Maguire skis.
581
00:22:24,791 --> 00:22:27,333
Hey, DJ's been gone
a while, huh?
582
00:22:27,416 --> 00:22:29,583
I guess managing
an apartment building
583
00:22:29,666 --> 00:22:30,875
is actually a lot of work.
584
00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:34,958
What?
585
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:36,708
What am I missing?
586
00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:40,416
- That's not what she means
by "work."
587
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:41,916
She sells photos, honey.
588
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,541
She hires a photographer
to take photos of Deborah,
589
00:22:44,625 --> 00:22:46,583
and then she sells them
to, like, TMZ or wherever.
590
00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,291
- Yeah, she makes hella cash.
- Hella.
591
00:22:48,375 --> 00:22:50,958
- And she makes, like,
a lot more
592
00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:52,833
if Deborah looks like shit.
593
00:22:52,916 --> 00:22:54,250
- That's so fucked.
594
00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:55,791
- Hey, you're in the house
all the time.
595
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,166
You should do it too;
I bet you could sell,
596
00:22:57,250 --> 00:22:58,458
like, her medical records
597
00:22:58,541 --> 00:22:59,875
or her diary or whatever.
598
00:22:59,958 --> 00:23:01,750
- Her underwear.
- Okay, ladies.
599
00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:04,375
I got next round, so finish up.
600
00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:06,708
- Whoo!
- Time me.
601
00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:09,541
- Nice, nice, nice.
- Get it, get it.
602
00:23:09,625 --> 00:23:11,208
- Yes, yes, almost there,
almost there.
603
00:23:11,291 --> 00:23:13,291
- Whoo!
- Oh!
604
00:23:13,375 --> 00:23:14,791
- What'd you get?
605
00:23:14,875 --> 00:23:16,291
- Uh, I didn't time.
606
00:23:16,375 --> 00:23:17,666
- Oh, fuck.
607
00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:19,041
Give me yours.
- Okay.
608
00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:20,666
- Ready, go.
609
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:21,958
Go!
610
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:36,208
- Hey, can I talk to you?
611
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,250
- Yeah.
612
00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:42,791
- You know what?
It's right before your show.
613
00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:45,458
Maybe later is a better time.
I don't want to mess you up.
614
00:23:45,541 --> 00:23:47,666
- You can't mess me up.
615
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:49,708
What is it?
616
00:23:49,791 --> 00:23:51,291
- Okay, I'm gonna--
I'm gonna tell you this,
617
00:23:51,375 --> 00:23:53,708
but please don't ask me
how I know.
618
00:23:53,791 --> 00:23:56,541
But, um,
619
00:23:56,625 --> 00:23:59,791
someone I know is--is selling
pictures of you to TMZ,
620
00:23:59,875 --> 00:24:02,916
and I don't know if you
can stop it, but I just--
621
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,583
I thought I should tell you.
622
00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:07,916
- All right, thank you.
623
00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:10,333
- You're just gonna let it go?
624
00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:11,875
You're not gonna...
625
00:24:11,958 --> 00:24:13,541
ask me who it is?
626
00:24:18,583 --> 00:24:21,083
Oh, you let her.
627
00:24:22,625 --> 00:24:25,000
- Makes her feel
self-sufficient.
628
00:24:26,916 --> 00:24:29,416
I have to get dressed.
- Yeah.
629
00:25:12,125 --> 00:25:13,000
- Hello.
630
00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:14,375
- Hey, Mom.
631
00:25:14,458 --> 00:25:15,916
Sorry, is it too late?
632
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,916
- No, no, I'm just being quiet
because your father
633
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,416
finally fell asleep.
634
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:21,791
Hopefully he sleeps
through the night
635
00:25:21,875 --> 00:25:23,750
so I can get some rest.
636
00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:25,708
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no, no.
637
00:25:25,791 --> 00:25:27,083
It's okay, it's okay, honey.
638
00:25:27,166 --> 00:25:28,541
How's your new place?
639
00:25:28,625 --> 00:25:29,958
- It's good.
640
00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:33,041
Though, uh,
641
00:25:33,125 --> 00:25:35,291
I'm not actually
there right now.
642
00:25:37,083 --> 00:25:39,333
I've actually been living
in Las Vegas.
643
00:25:39,416 --> 00:25:40,708
- Vegas?
644
00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:41,833
Are you gambling?
645
00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:44,208
- No, I--
I lost my deal and--
646
00:25:44,291 --> 00:25:45,500
- Wait, lost your deal?
647
00:25:45,583 --> 00:25:47,208
But you just bought
that place in LA.
648
00:25:47,291 --> 00:25:49,250
- I know, that's why
I got another job.
649
00:25:49,333 --> 00:25:50,750
That's what I'm trying
to tell you.
650
00:25:50,833 --> 00:25:52,625
Also, isn't Dad asleep?
You're yelling.
651
00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:54,000
- Oh, my God, Ava, I told you
652
00:25:54,083 --> 00:25:56,375
that business is so unstable.
653
00:25:56,458 --> 00:25:57,708
I mean, what's next?
654
00:25:57,791 --> 00:25:59,125
You're gonna have
to move home here
655
00:25:59,208 --> 00:26:00,250
and live with us?
656
00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:02,208
I don't have room for you here.
657
00:26:02,291 --> 00:26:04,291
I mean, I guess we can
put a cot in the kitchen.
658
00:26:04,375 --> 00:26:06,083
- No, Mom, no cot
in the kitchen.
659
00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:07,916
I'm not coming home. Jesus.
660
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
- No, it's okay, Ava.
I know where the cot is.
661
00:26:10,083 --> 00:26:12,041
It's in the basement next to
the Christmas decorations.
662
00:26:12,125 --> 00:26:13,416
- I'll be fine, okay?
- I'm on it.
663
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,750
- You'll be fine.
664
00:26:15,833 --> 00:26:17,375
I got to go.
- Wait, Ava--
665
00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:46,750
Hello.
- I think they've been
666
00:26:46,833 --> 00:26:48,958
overcharging you
for room service.
667
00:26:50,916 --> 00:26:52,875
- Who is this?
668
00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:54,000
- I've been going over
your charges.
669
00:26:54,083 --> 00:26:55,291
They have you ordering
670
00:26:55,375 --> 00:26:57,708
three chicken Parms
in one night.
671
00:26:57,791 --> 00:26:59,708
What are you, the NSA?
672
00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:01,833
You're going through
my room service bills?
673
00:27:01,916 --> 00:27:03,625
- Well, of course,
it's my money.
674
00:27:03,708 --> 00:27:05,958
I think they made a mistake.
I don't like being overcharged.
675
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,125
- Wow, three chicken Parms.
676
00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:09,250
In one night?
677
00:27:09,333 --> 00:27:11,166
That's crazy.
678
00:27:12,125 --> 00:27:13,791
But I did order them.
679
00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:15,291
- What, were you entertaining?
680
00:27:15,375 --> 00:27:16,708
- No, it was just me.
681
00:27:16,791 --> 00:27:18,125
But they're medium size,
though,
682
00:27:18,208 --> 00:27:19,458
and I eat the leftovers
for breakfast,
683
00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:21,416
so you're actually
saving money.
684
00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:22,458
- For breakfast?
685
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:24,916
- I may have been high.
686
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,333
- Yeah, you must have been.
687
00:27:26,416 --> 00:27:28,291
Oh. Oh, oh, what do I hear?
688
00:27:28,375 --> 00:27:30,541
Is that "SVU"?
- "Criminal Intent."
689
00:27:30,625 --> 00:27:33,291
- What channel?
- Um...
690
00:27:35,166 --> 00:27:36,416
55.
691
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,440
Corrected & improved by
== Flatto (subscene.com) ==
692
00:27:39,916 --> 00:27:41,708
- Oh, I've seen this one.
693
00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:44,208
Yeah, this attorney turns out
to be a schizophrenic.
694
00:27:44,291 --> 00:27:46,208
- Deborah!
- I didn't write it.
695
00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:47,708
- Yeah, but you spoiled it.
696
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:49,208
- Oh, it's so obvious.
697
00:27:49,291 --> 00:27:51,125
He's the biggest guest star
on the episode.
698
00:27:51,208 --> 00:27:52,500
If his name comes before
699
00:27:52,583 --> 00:27:54,000
the opening credits,he did it.
700
00:27:54,083 --> 00:27:56,416
- No! Now you've spoiled
every single one of them.
701
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:58,583
- Well, it's better you know.
702
00:27:58,666 --> 00:28:00,500
- I think I could play
a dead body.
703
00:28:00,583 --> 00:28:02,166
- Well, you certainly have
the complexion.
704
00:28:05,125 --> 00:28:07,083
- This is actually
pretty triggering for me
705
00:28:07,166 --> 00:28:08,625
'cause I've never learned
how to swim.
706
00:28:08,708 --> 00:28:10,041
- What?
707
00:28:10,125 --> 00:28:11,416
You don't know how to swim?
708
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:12,541
That's ridiculous.
709
00:28:12,625 --> 00:28:14,041
- No one taught me as a kid.
710
00:28:14,125 --> 00:28:16,250
I thought about taking
swim classes for adults,
711
00:28:16,333 --> 00:28:18,833
but honestly, that's sadder
than just drowning.
712
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,375
♪ So move over, darling ♪
713
00:28:25,916 --> 00:28:29,666
♪ If my heart bends ♪
714
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,375
♪ I'll know ♪
715
00:28:36,625 --> 00:28:40,875
♪ And if I had to stay ♪
716
00:28:40,958 --> 00:28:44,708
♪ You know I would ♪
717
00:28:44,791 --> 00:28:46,708
♪ Have stayed ♪
718
00:28:51,541 --> 00:28:55,875
♪ So, baby, don't hold me back ♪
719
00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:59,666
♪ 'Cause if I win ♪
720
00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:01,500
♪ I'll change ♪
721
00:29:06,750 --> 00:29:10,875
♪ And if I lose my way ♪
722
00:29:10,958 --> 00:29:14,708
♪ You know I would ♪
723
00:29:14,791 --> 00:29:16,500
♪ Escape ♪
724
00:29:22,916 --> 00:29:26,416
♪ Damaged by disease ♪
725
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,333
♪ The sun blaze over me ♪
726
00:29:30,416 --> 00:29:33,500
♪ Ooh, baby, tie me down ♪
727
00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:36,750
♪ I am dangling ♪
50519
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