Original subtitles

THE GIRL WITH THE SEX-X-RAY EYES

Are you sure you've brought enough?

Everything is there.

So get two treats today?

Lucky.

One for me, one for my Uncle Sam.

Choose wisely.

This has great power in this case.

I'm a man who keeps my company, I have never been tempted to change.

I am also always ready to sacrifice for the team.

You know, I often thought you did

and I could do great team: international co-production.

I'm not sure the bosses I would choose this,

but it's nice to meet you accidentally from time to time.

Yes, we have good meetings.

I suggest you take part of this money and get out of town.

Oh, I intend to do it.

Bye honey.

Bye.

So they look like that.

Like something a child will wear, sir.

This is the beauty, the simplicity itself.

Who would ever suspect that they will actually work?

And the extent to which they work.

In the wrong hands this could end very badly.

No secret would be safe.

Well, thank God we found them in time.

If they will be used, this will be on our part.

Amen, sir.

I believe you did everything which should have

to get this without serious damage?

No, sir, a little squeezed, but also, quite well.

All we have to do is take them submit to the laboratory for final analysis

before we can begin production in their cloning.

My travel documents are in order, sir.

Okay.

I look forward to your final report.

Thank you sir.

Oh my God.

I'm sorry.

I must not have seen you.

No no no.

It's my fault, here.

I'm Taffy.

Taffy.

Because I'm so cute.

What is your name?

I can't tell you that, miss.

Do you have a job here?

Huh?

Bachelor party at 17:00

You may want to check this address.

This is the federal building.

The federal building?

Yes, madam.

There's not a good chance this will happen here.

Oh no.

Wrong address?

Wrong address, wrong time, wrong city.

Sorry, Taffy.

I guess you missed your date, huh?

Well, I guess just I will go home.

Good luck next time.

Wow, he came home early.

I screwed up.

Again?

I have to be like dyspeptic or something similar.

I can never understand whatever.

Do not say this.

You are doing it very correctly.

Let me help you with any of these bags.

What's in that?

Why?

Is it too heavy?

No, too light.

Wow.

Are these yours?

You certainly don't wear much clothes for your shows these days.

Do not be stupid.

They are not mine.

Well, then whose are they?

They must belong of that nice man at

the federal building.

We collided.

And you don't think our bags could

to be confused, right?

Taffy.

I see you naked.

Maybe later.

You have to now find out who they belong to.

Not really.

These things really work.

What really works?

X-ray glasses, darling.

Check them out.

Wow!

Oooh, kids would die having fun with them.

Yes.

Well, at least you know what you're buying.

Yes, I would like a pound of everything you sell.

I'd like a pound of Taffy.

Eddie, you always know how to cheer me up.

But seriously, what to do with them?

Who cares?

Save them for your next show.

This way you will know how many bundles

there is a man in his pockets.

You are so smart.

Yes.

Should I wear them?

No, I'll give you something else, which to consider.

Is it?

Oh, Eddie.

Let me look, let me look.

Come on.

Wow mother, I don't need it x-ray glasses for this.

So nice, Taffy.

Where did we put these glasses?

This is not an option.

I paid a lot of money for these glasses

and I'm not in the mood to hear that your operational officer has been appointed

elsewhere for a larger share.

This is not how business is run.

Do you think I'm making useless threats?

Wait and see.

Largo!

Mao Mix.

How can I obey you?

My X-ray glasses were stolen

under our noses.

I have a buyer for these glasses, who paid a lot of money

in advance of their possession.

I need to get those glasses back soon.

Where does the trail start?

Start with Natasha Rubikov.

She played me and them sell to another party.

She needs to be made to speak.

I need to know who she sold them to.

You know what to do.

Of course.

Well, she's a prisoner in the dungeon.

How convenient.

You bet your ass is.

Now go.

This is really serious news.

Really.

I can't tell you how much I'm sorry this happened, sir.

The fate of democracy hangs in very balanced, Richardson.

Mr. Thompson, I fully understand

the dangerous position in which my blunder put this side.

You have 48 hours to fix things.

I understand, sir.

Start out.

Any clues?

A stripper named Taffy.

He does bachelor parties.

Well, at least that's something to go on with.

Do you have everything you need?

I have 50 one-dollar bills, sir.

That should be enough to made a stripper talk.

Well, good luck, God be with you.

Thank you sir.

This is great.

Oh, I see the prize below part of the box with breakfast cereal.

Oh, I see the yolks in the eggs.

There's a mouse behind the fridge.

Well well.

Do not worry.

I will take care for that.

And whose phone number is in your pocket?

Huh?

Hey, we need to figure out what

we will do with these things.

Well, we can try to get them back.

They are probably really important.

Maybe, but not right now.

Oh, I know.

We can sell them on eBay.

This is not bad.

But if we take them to Vegas, we would smear them

of blackjack or poker.

We would be rich!

Do we dare?

We dare.

Let's pack luggage.

And so: they finally sent the terrible tormentor Largo,

to extract Mao Mix's revenge.

Don't be in such a hurry, Natasha.

I have no intention of harming you.

At the moment, Mao Mix is ​​already on traces of your missing property

and I have a feeling that hers mission will be successful.

Is that so?

Then why aren't you here to kill me?

I outlived my usefulness.

Mao Mix has special plans for you.

She intends to take you exchange for something he wants.

But in the meantime, tell me the name of the operational worker,

to whom did you sell the x-ray glasses?

Why you need it from this information now?

Mao Mix loves to know who are her enemies

and be thankful that you are not one of them.

If I tell you, how do I know that you won't kill me?

I would never kill anything as wonderful as you.

Let me show you.

Hello?

Yes, do you have bachelor parties?

Excellent.

Do you have a lot of girls?

Okay.

I'm looking for Taffy.

No, not that kind of Taffy.

Do you have chewy candy?

Okay.

Do you have alcohol wish rods?

Alcohol wish rods, that is, this is actually very funny.

Yes, Good en Plenty.

Yes, I think I saw them last week at Peppermint Wino.

No, I'm looking for Taffy.

Okay, well, I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Yes, maybe I will cancel the wedding.

Thank you very much.

Yes, hello.

Do you have bachelor parties?

You do, well.

Do you have Taffy?

I'm looking for Taffy.

She is blond, she falls a lot.

Do you have?

Well, yes, it sounds just like her.

No, listen, here 's an agent ...

well, it doesn't matter.

I can't tell you my name.

But your government needs you and ...

yes, of course I will keep.

Thank goodness.

Who knows what evil these glasses can be,

fell into the wrong hands.

You people are winning a lot tonight.

You said it, darling.

In fact, we earn as much as I would

wanted to scatter wealth, if you are interested in scattering,

wealth, i.e.

It just can.

A long weekend is ahead.

Let good times come.

I always say that, darling.

So what do you say?

Room service tonight?

Yes, I'm exhausted, to deliver all that money for sure

tired me out.

That's definitely a lot of money.

Do you think anyone smelled us?

No chance.

It's also good for people like us

to come out winners from time to time.

This drives the little man to think there is a chance.

I guess you're right.

I mean, they didn't even blink, when we cashed our chips.

No, they didn't so there will be caviar and champagne

no limit tonight, darling.

Um, the smell of money it moistens me with desire.

But can you afford it?

Oh, I can afford tonight.

Enter.

I can afford for you and another, just like you.

Happy birthday, Taffy.

It's not my birthday.

I know.

You better open your gift, before melting.

He gave me a great hand today.

Now I will give you one.

More money.

So who said it can't be done?

We are rich, dear, really, really rich.

Yes.

Maybe we should sell this place and to move to the upper part of the city.

We can start a little bachelor

own party business.

Maybe, but we should not hurry.

We do not want to attract no attention.

You know, all things that i ever wanted -

they become a reality.

All thanks to these babies.

Of course.

But as I said: we have to drive it lightly.

Sorry to ruin this little party,

but I think you have something which belongs to me.

Hey, this is the man I came across.

Quick thinking, Taffy.

Looks like you got our glasses

for a small test drive, unofficially, of course.

Huh?

We were just really, really lucky.

You know, in this case, I think

I will have to agree with you.

And now the glasses, if you please.

Probably best if you both just forget about it

and perhaps we will ignore it your little walk to Las Vegas.

Hey, it was fun as it went on.

In fact, the fun is just beginning.

Hands up.

Over there, officer.

You, bring me the glasses.

You will never get away with that, you devil.

Oh, right?

That's what they said and we arranged it the Florida election.

I knew that.

Now we will all walk a little.

Let's go.

Don't worry, man.

Do not go crazy.

I think we're here to save you.

So what are you here for?

Rage on the road.

They took on a very curious way back to me,

wouldn't you agree, Largo?

I agree, Ms. Mao Mix.

But now they belong of their rightful owner

and you can move on with your plans.

Yes, but think you are beat me, Agent Richardson.

How do you know my name?

It doesn't matter now, even when you were planning to seduce Natasha

to betray me, now she suffered the same fate,

which you all have to endure.

Now what fate would be exactly?

The death of 1,000 scorpions?

The agony of 100 knives?

Burning itch on an athlete's leg?

Silence.

I need time to dwell on these decisions.

Such things should not be allowed is approached lightly.

Largo, I need you in private.

Don't go anywhere.

Don't panic.

I'll think of something.

I'm thinking of something.

Yes, sir, Mr. President.

I understand the gravity of the situation.

Well, I have information from very reliable source

that one of our agents is close until the glasses are returned,

if he no longer owns them.

I hope to have them by Friday.

Yes, sir, I understand that is your poker night.

I will do everything possible.

Yes, sir, Mr. President.

Yes.

Thank you sir.

Jesus, can't man just play one

fair play like everyone else?

Largo, you always know how to make me purr.

It is a pleasure for me to please you.

Now, to our captives.

It's like it's time to throw out the trash.

This curious agent is a thorn in my side

too long and the rest they just know too much.

Dispose of them in the usual way?

The usual way?

One shot to the head, I cut the bodies with a saw,

I dissolve them in acid quicklime, then drive through three states,

do-si-do.

Back across two states, then I bury them, a third

by everyone in separate baseball fields,

fly to Switzerland, I legally change my name,

and then go back to California, dressed as a woman.

Oh, please.

Nothing so routine.

No, kill the men and sell women in white slavery.

That should bring enough, to pay for at least the jacuzzi,

which I was planning for the back deck.

Now take care now.

In.

I like evil.

I really like it.

Calm down, psycho, calm down.

Catch it!

Do it, darling!

Come on, everyone, let's go, let's go.

Taffy, come on.

I'm sorry, comrade.

I'm on my way.

I'll pick you up next Cold War, darling.

Yes, I'm very happy to announce that the glasses came back

in my possession and are ready for delivery.

Yes, the price is high, really very high.

But what do you expect?

There is no other pair of X-ray glasses like them

worldwide?

Do I expect to see you later?

Excellent.

And please bring cash.

The bank puts me in a 10-day detention on checks over $ 30 million.

I look forward to see you at last.

Give me some.

Thank God we succeeded.

I thought we were passengers for sure.

We're not out of danger yet, Taffy.

What do you mean?

Well, the way it is I see that they know where you live.

So they probably never think so we wouldn't be stupid enough

let's go back here.

They are wrong there.

Correct.

Now they also know that we know where they live

and what they do.

So if we want to we have some chance to catch them

and thwart their evil plans,

you will have to move fast.

I have no hope of catching them

or to thwart their evil plans.

What about you, Taffy, do you have one?

No.

I do not.

Hey, come on, you two.

I just saved your life.

Hey, we wouldn't need it rescue if it weren't for you.

True, but if we don't do something,

you will have nowhere to go spend all that money.

Really.

Exactly.

Think about it.

It could happen.

Combinations of bank vaults would become useless,

national secrets compromised, lotto tickets would

become something of the past.

Lotto tickets?

Yeah right.

Yeah, well, well, I threw myself away with that.

But you understand my point.

Look, even if we wanted to help you,

what could we both do?

Okay.

Intelligence believes the buyer of Mao Mix is ​​rich close

an eastern man named Ram Singh.

We were unable to attach a photo of him,

but we do not think that and Mao Mix met him.

So I suggest one of the two, Eddie, introduce yourself to him.

Make the purchase, take it glasses, bring them home,

and we will all be heroes.

But could it be so simple plan to have a chance,

anyone work?

I don't have a better plan.

Oh great.

Ms. Mao Mix.

Yes.

Your guests have arrived.

Excellent.

Invite them.

My dear Ram Singh, how delightful is to meet at last.

It is my pleasure.

Also mine.

I see you brought the money.

It's all here.

That's quite a lot, a lot.

$ 30 million is not something which can be bypassed just like that.

Really.

A drink?

Yes, I think we better ...

at any cost.

These X-ray glasses are in great demand

and you are very lucky that you can afford them.

Everyone wanted them.

Yes, I would like to see them.

Of course.

Brya, brya, brya.

Oh my.

They work extremely well.

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't

I had seen with my own eyes.

Dear Ram Singh, I believe me

you undress with your eyes.

My glasses, please.

My apologies.

So tell me, Ram?

How is Moronico?

Moronic?

Yes, where do you live?

Oh, yes, yes, Moronico.

Well, this is a terrible place full of sand

and camels and people who wear sheets

with towels on his head.

And, oh, God, the heat.

Such heat that never you would not believe.

Sounds wonderful.

You have to send me postcard sometime.

It has its pros, of course.

I bet.

Was it a long journey?

And, yes, yes, it was a long, long way.

My ass almost ragged when traveling by plane.

My ass was embarrassed on the way here.

No, rags,

Yes, rags.

You can remove this one stupid disguise, Ram Singh,

or whatever your name is.

Your little game reached an unhappy end.

Move over there.

Come on, move.

Move.

Keep walking.

You also.

Keep moving.

There, go, move.

Hey, what did he tell you?

Well, the real Ram Singh lives in Palm Springs

and will never be seen in the company

of such cheap and ordinary a harem girl like that.

Hey, I look like that remark.

Well, it's bad that Largo isn't here, to take care of you personally.

But I have no problem killing you both.

Don't you want to know who we are sent or who did we work for?

That's clear, don't you think?

You are obviously government agents.

They are all so clumsy fools that he couldn't even

to find her ass with both hands.

This is a lie.

Anyway, this is Sayonara, molds, for the two of you.

More luck next time.

Wait.

Not so fast, Mao Mix.

Hands up.

Taffy, get the glasses.

Go.

Left right.

Right there.

Right there.

Good thing he showed up.

He was about to punch us.

I had the feeling that both you will fuck up the work,

so i used you to kidnap attention in order to access the mansion.

So we just served as bait for your cleverly set trap?

Sorry, Taffy.

Enough already.

Doesn't it say something that is against the Geneva Convention?

Let's just keep doing this.

Now what?

This is where Largo sneaks up behind you

and hides the hats of all of you.

Very interesting, Mao Mix, but very unlikely.

Hands up.

Drop the gun.

Good work, Largo.

You will be rewarded.

I already was.

You mean?

Yes, that's true.

Largo takes care of himself.

And with the money you will make money from selling them,

I intend to buy a small series of islands

off the coast of South Florida

and then probably to name them after myself.

So he betrayed me.

I prefer to call it diversification.

Oh no.

Ruined.

Oh my God.

Oh, God, oh, God.

I say goodbye to my island.

I'm saying goodbye to Vegas.

I say goodbye to "Bachelor parties are wild."

Well, I guess not what to fight more.

I guess not.

I'm out.

I am fine.

I guess everyone should just to go home.

That's a good idea, Taffy.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, a beautiful house.

Really, it's wonderful.

Thanks.

Next time.

I just wanted to thank you two

for risking your asses like that.

It's about two minutes fun.

Not everyone would take the risk, as you both did.

It was a big adventure, man.

I mean finding the x-rays glasses, making a lot of money in Vegas,

to be abducted, to escape and finally hiding the hats

to those evil bastards.

Yes, we had a busy week.

And we are grateful for your help.

Ah, it was nothing.

I am authorized by the agency to reward you both

with that little token of gratitude by your government.

We will appreciate them forever.

Wear them with honor.

You can bet.

And now, for your pleasure from the bachelor party,

we have the sensual, sweet and moist Taffy.

Whose phone number is in your pocket?

I have no hope of catching them

or to thwart their evil plans.

Oh, Largo, you always know how to make me purr.

Flying to Switzerland, I legally change my name,

and then I go back to California, dressed as a woman.

I don't have a better plan.

Choose wisely.

This has great power in this case.

This is really great news.

It just can.

A long weekend is ahead.

Can you turn around for me please?