All language subtitles for Corner.Gas.Animated.S03E10_English

[♪♪♪]

What are you doing?

It's as hot
as a pizza oven in here.

Why do we have so much glass?

Is this a gas station
or a grow-op?

Are you listening to me?

Not really.

If you want me
to focus,

don't say
the word "pizza."

I hear "pizza,"
and my mind starts to...

Yeah, there it goes.

This is ridiculous!

27 windows,
and none of them open!

27's a bit
of an exaggeration.

There's only--

Holy crap, 27 windows!

Well, you know
what they say,

when God closes
20 or 30 windows,

he opens a door.

Or you could
open a door.

The door air
wafts right over the pumps.

It's like a diesel-scented
air freshener.

Well, you know
what they say,

the devil's
in the diesel.

So use the fan.

Problem solved.

Great.

Blow hot air
in my face.

Now it's a convection
pizza oven.

Here I go.

[glass smashing]
Oops!

Ah...

Hey!

You broke that
on purpose!

Well, you know
what they say...

move your ass,
you're blocking my breeze.

♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪

♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪

[♪♪♪]

-Four?
-No.

-Five?
-Nope.

-Six?
-No.

I can't believe
you haven't seen

any of the "Quick and Angry"
movies!

-Seven?
-No.

Unless...

Which one was Judi Dench in?

None.

That's the one I saw.

I wish Quick and Angry 9

was showing
on a big screen somewhere.

Grimm Petrol
drives into a pyramid

to steal King Tut's esophagus,

but his car gets possessed,

and then repossessed.

You're sure Judi Dench
isn't in this?

Yeah, pretty sure.

Oops.

You cut it 9 x 12

instead of 12 x 9.

Better go get a new one.

[chuckles]
I thought this might happen.

So I brought a 9 x 12

and a 12 x 9.

Amazing.

You're so stupid,

you almost circle back
to clever.

[laughs]

[♪♪♪]

I can't believe
you washed the car.

I even did the inside.

Put a faux treatment
on the faux leather.

Mm.

There's something about
a clean car that I find so...

sexy.

Holy Hanna Barbera!

You should watch
a Quick and Angry with me.

That'd be a quick way
to make me angry.

[car approaching]

Do you know you have
a broken window?

We're talking
through it,

so... yes.

May as well pay for gas
while we're here.

Oh, and give me
a scratch and win ticket

and some breath mints.

Paying at the window
reminds me of the old days

at the drive-in.

I think you mean
"drive-through"?

Drive-in,

drive-through,
drive-by.

All I know is

we had some good times
in the back seat,

eh, Emma?

Clean car,
drive-in memories.

Gimme a kiss.

[smooching]

Okay, have a mint,

and then gimme a kiss,

you sexy old fox.

Aah!

Could you and fox-breath

play tonsil hockey
somewhere else?

You're fouling up
my fresh air.

A drive-in, eh?

[♪♪♪]

I'll bring that right out.

Oh!

Sorry, Brent,
are you okay?

Am I okay?

Wow.

She bounced off Brent
like a twig off an elephant.

Brent doesn't weigh
4,000 pounds.

[scoffing]

Probably not even
close to that.

I wonder
what he does weigh?

I'd say he's
mid 200s, max.

Depends on
his density.

What's he made
out of?

Hey, enough with
the fat-shaming!

Unbelievable.

Sure, Brent's
a little pudgy.

Sure, he jiggles
when he laughs,

or when he's
completely still

and a truck drives by,

but people should be judged
for who they are,

not what they weigh.

It's not a crime
to be fat.

Shame on you!

We didn't say
he was fat.

We were just wondering
how much he weighs.

They're right.

In fact, you're the only one
who used the word "fat."

Twice.

And then you said "shame."

You're the one
who's fat-shaming.

I, uh...

Uh, sorry to interrupt.

Hey, everybody, look!
It's... it's Hank!

Wait a minute.

Why aren't you
at the gas station

fixing the window?

Oh, uh, bit of a setback.

In Quick and Angry 6,

Grimm is hypnotized,

and every time he hears
the word "wind chimes,"

he turns into
a fighting machine.

[shouting battle cries]

[glass shatters]

Oops.

What did I say
about gesturing wildly

while spoiling movies?

I don't spoil movies!

I enhance them

by telling you
what happens next.

Yeah, you're like
descriptive video

played backwards.

Wait, did that
make sense?

Sounded like a joke.

Anyway, Oscar and Emma
were smooching

and talking about the drive-in,

and then it hit me,

we should do
a drive-in movie night.

We could hang sheets
on the garage

right here in the parking lot.

If Mom and Dad
were getting all lovey-dovey

talking about it,

then it's a bad idea.

I think
a movie night

would be great
for the town.

Besides,

look how cute
Oscar and Emma are.

[smooching]

Ew!

Where's a water hose?

Word in the john is

Hank's organizing
a drive-in movie.

I've heard of those.

Aren't they like
a rave?

Or a speakeasy?

More like a fight club
with cars.

Drive-ins
are a parking lot of crime

under the guise
of family entertainment.

A pressure cooker of sex,
drugs, alcohol.

Carbs.

Sounds awesome.

Awesome?

Do you not notice
how boring our jobs are?

We spent yesterday

trying to catch a mouse
in the equipment room.

And we will track
that rat bastard

to the ends
of the earth.

Mouse bastard.

So about this drive-in,

is there gun-play?

What's the big deal
about a drive-in movie?

I'll think about it.

In the meantime,
fix my window.

I told you,
I broke the glass.

What about
the backup piece?

--and every time
he hears the word "wind chimes,"

he turns into
a fighting machine.

[shouting battle cries]

[glass shatters]

Oops.

Maybe I can make
that back-up piece fit.

Where did I put it?

Here it is.

Wind chimes!

-Hai! Oh--
-[smashes glass]

You broke
the window again?

I just yelled a word.

Dorkus went all Judi
Dench on the window.

Judi Dench?

So, about the drive-in?

Fine, you can have
your movie night.

Wanda!
We get a movie night!

Oh, Wanda's not going.

She's going to be here,

selling snacks

through her breezy
drive-through window.

That's not fair.

Life isn't fair.

"Wind chimes."

-Hai!
-Ouch! Hey!

What?
I just yelled a word.

I told your parents
about drive-in night,

and they were so excited,

they couldn't keep
their hands off each other.

Eugh, I forgot
about them.

[fondly] Yeah.

I wonder how much
of the movie

they're gonna watch.

I hope they
stretch first.

Okay, gross.

They better
take precautions,

or you could end up with
a little sister or brother.

I get what you're doing.

You're trying
to kill my appetite.

This is all part
of your fat-shaming.

I am not fat-shaming.

You want lunch?

I'll bring you
a chili cheese dog.

Oh, so you just assume
fatty wants a hotdog.

[groans]
You have one every day?

Sometimes two?

Fine.

You want the special?

It's a Cobb salad.

Sure, because fatty's fat,
he should eat a salad.

[groaning]

Since you're all here.

I think now would be
a good time

to decide on a movie
for drive-in night.

I vote for
something romantic.

Nope.
Veto that.

Or steamy.

And that.

Anything with
Julia Roberts in it.

Oh, sure,

pick the actress
with zero body fat.

Like there's
only one actress

with zero body fat.

Okay, I've heard
all your suggestions.

Unfortunately,

I only have nine movies
that play on my Blu-ray system.

Let me guess,

The Quick and Angry...
1 through 9.

[groaning]

Why did you make us
go through all that

if you only have
nine movies?

So you'd feel like
you're involved.

Hank, just
pick a movie,

before my parents forget
they're in public.

[giggling and smooching]

Quick and Angry 4.

The car chase
on the Staten Island Ferry

is insane.

You just spoiled...

Pick again!

Fine.

Quick and Angry 5.

I won't even tell you

which of the Stallone brothers
makes a cameo.

[everyone groans]

Not one request
for a cop movie.

They can't even
agree on a movie.

This town is a powder keg.

Gimme another
drink, Phil.

Are you sure?

Alcohol
slows the metabolism,

and word in the john is

you're concerned
about your weight.

Oh, that?

I'm just messing
with Lacey.

I'm fat-shame-shaming her.

You know
she's right behind you.

[laughs] Ah!

Good one.

Had me going there.

I noticed

that you don't have
the calories displayed

for your meal items.

Way to make it easy on us
plus-sized individuals.

Oh, you don't have to worry
about the calories.

I've already made
a special breakfast for you.

I call it "Jerky Brent's
Fatty-Fat Tubby Breakfast."

I heard
what you said to Phil

at the bar last night.

Making fun of me
for wanting to protect you.

I was just having a little fun

because you were
more concerned about my weight

than I was.

So you're
not concerned at all?

I don't even
have a scale.

Everyone should know
how much they weigh,

for health reasons.

I imagine my weight
hasn't changed much

since high school.

Probably around 190.

Um, hmm... really?

Yeah.

Look, if you're
so curious,

we can go use
your scale.

I don't have a scale.

Oh, sure, fatty should
have a scale,

but Little Miss--

I know where the most
accurate scale in town is.

Also, do you mind
if we come along?

We have a small
wager going.

Well, if it isn't

my wonderful,
amazing son.

Well, that's the sound
a red flag makes.

What's up, Dad?

I was just wondering

if I could borrow your car.

Something wrong with yours?

No.

I'm taking your mother
to the drive-in,

and I want to impress her
with a hot car.

[giggles]

Stoke the fires.

Aw, that's sweet.

To pay you back,

I'll wash it
and clean the interior.

Aw, that's gross.

No!

A clean car also gets
her motor running.

I'm not giving you
my car,

and leave Mom's motor alone.

Let's go, Lacey,

before I throw up
my breakfast sundae.

[grunting]

There.

All packed.

All right.

Enjoy your vacation.

Vaca--

This is riot gear!

Batons, stun guns,
flak jackets?

Everything we need

to control the perimeter
of the drive-in.

I even watched
Escape from New York

to get the juices flowing.

A grain elevator scale?

It's the most accurate scale
in town.

Ike just weighed your car.

Now I'll get in,
and they'll weigh it again.

Then they'll subtract
the weight of the car,

and voilà--

190 pounds.

Hopefully this will
satisfy you all,

and stop the endless
fat-shaming from Lacey.

[quietly]
Just messin' with ya.

[quietly]
You wanna mess with me?

I'll mess with you right back.

Brent lent you
his car?

Even better.

I stole it.

Oscar, you bad boy.

Tell me more.

I'm not wearing underwear.

Tell me less.

Lacey's car
weighs 3,310 pounds.

With Brent in it,
it weighs 3,553.

According
to my calculator--

I know, 190.

--240 pounds.

[murmurs from group]

Whoo-hoo!

Nailed it.

What? That
can't be right.

But you're okay
with that, right?

You said yourself

you're not concerned
about your weight.

I'm-I'm not!

Just... you know,

maybe run those numbers again.

You know how wrong
calculators can be.

Aw, I did
make a mistake.

You weigh 243.

[crowd groaning] Oh...

Whoo-hoo!

Dammit!

I bet it was
the breakfast sundae.

[♪♪♪]

Notice anything?

You smell?

Wait, why can I smell you?

Where's my fresh air?

You fixed my window?

You son of a--

Before you go
all psycho bananas,

I have something to show you.

I set up a table

so you can sell snacks
and watch the movie.

Oh.

Thank you.

I couldn't
let you miss it,

especially the part
where Grimm--

Thank you and shut up!

[♪♪♪]

We're early.

What do we do now?

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Cat nap?

You got it, sugar lips.

[both snoring]

[♪♪♪]

Can I uncross my arms?

My hands
are falling asleep.

It's important
to establish dominance.

Do you smell that?

Popcorn?

No.

Tension.

But also popcorn.

Let's get some popcorn.

It's hard
to establish dominance

when you're
eating popcorn.

Cut it out, rookie.

This parking lot
is our battlefield.

These families,

our foes.

They look
pretty harmless to me.

Darkness changes
everything.

Danger lurks every--

[gagging and coughing]

Ow!

You're slapping
too hard.

Won, have you seen Brent?

I've been texting,
and he's not responding.

[chuckles]
Consider yourself lucky.

He's in a real
foul mood.

I hope he's not upset
about the weigh-in.

Weigh-in?

That would
explain a lot.

This is our celebrity
diet section.

You have
your Avril Lavigne Cuisines.

Drake's Flakes
Breakfast Bowl.

Andrea Martin
Heart-Smarten meals.

Why are you showing me
the diet section?

It's because I'm fat,
isn't it?

You asked me to!

Yeah, because
I'm fat, Won!

Oh... that's not good.

[♪♪♪]

I'm telling you,

you're gonna flip
when you see this movie.

[chuckles]
Not likely.

It's nice what you did here,

but smash 'em-up movies
aren't really my thing.

Not a lot
of character development.

I dunno,

it showed a lot of character

when Grimm drove backwards
on two wheels

through that emergency room

to get his girlfriend's arm
sewn back on.

Oops, sorry,
I'm spoiling it again.

Can't spoil it
if I don't care.

I'm just happy
to be outside.

We'll see.

Showtime.

[knocking]

Oh, there you are.

I lost you at the weigh-in.

Lanny kept hugging me.

I walked home,

which I guess
is a good thing,

since I could stand
to lose a few pounds.

What are you
drinking?

It's a diet drink.

Andrea Martin
Heart-Smarten Protein Cola.

The commercials
are kinda catchy.

♪ Well, fame is terrific ♪

♪ I won't sneeze at wealth ♪

♪ But nothing else matters ♪

♪ If you don't have
your health ♪

♪ It's all about balance ♪

♪ And it's not what you weigh ♪

♪ Try an Andrea Martin
Heart-Smarten ♪

♪ Full meal in a can ♪

♪ Today! ♪

[groans] Ugh,
that's terrible!

That last line
has about 11 syllables too many,

and come on,

"I won't sneeze at wealth"?

Who wrote this,
Zero Mostel's grandmother?

I have something to confess.

I decided to mess with you,

and I placed a bag of grain
on the scale

when you were getting weighed.

So I'm not 240 pounds?

It's 243,

and no.

So can we please stop
messing with each other?

Come to the drive-in
with me.

You bet.

Just let me
finish my drink.

These are expensive.

Andrea Martin must make
a killing off this stuff.

Okay, 800, 850, 900, 950...

Wait, hang on,

why are these
$50 bills red?

Wait, am I being paid
in Canadian money?

Seriously?

Ugh, this day just gets
better and better.

Get those sand horses
out of the way!

[firing gun]

[gunfire]

[yelping]
We're under attack!

[chuckles]

The movie...

It's already started.

Oh.

All righty, then.

I'll go get
some snacks.

Actually, I have
something else in mind.

Wipe the drool off your chin
and come here,

you dozy dreamboat.

[smooching and giggling]

I want candy
and popcorn.

You can't have both.

But I want both!

Hey, Grade School,

take it down
a notch.

You want candy
and popcorn?

I want three weeks
vacation!

Not gonna happen.

My advice?

Avoid the candy.

Because...

the last thing you want
is a sugar high

when all hell
breaks loose.

Excuse us.

There's a storm a-comin'!

Y'all best be
on the right side

when it hits!

You wanna dial it back
there a little?

You promised me action!

Relax.

It'll come.

Not that I care,

but if I was Grimm,

I wouldn't trust the guy
with the eyepatch.

He just--

Don't get in the car, Grimm!

He cut your brake line!

This movie
is cheap Hollywood trash.

How much for popcorn
and a drink?

Huh?
Eight bucks.

Can you change
a ten?

Does no one have
exact change?

[Grimm]: My word is my bond.

What happened?
Grimm invested in bonds?

No, no.

He agreed to escort
the drug lord's daughter

out of the country,

even though he knows
there's an ambush waiting

at the border.

He knows about the ambush?

Good!

...is what someone might say
if they cared.

Okay, what happened

while you were telling me
what happened?

How much for
the gummy chews?

Honor system!

This is just as boring
as any other night.

Oh, there's
trouble afoot

if you dig
a little deeper.

Follow me.

Evening, folks.

Noticed you handing something
back and forth between cars.

Nothing illegal, I hope.

Like drugs?

We're sharing
jelly beans.

Oh.

These cars are parked
a little too close for comfort.

Ravi, is Won crowding you?

Actually, I am getting
a little irritated.

See, Karen?
Powder keg.

You're distracting us
from the movie.

And Karen's
blocking the screen.

Ah, you're
in a better mood.

I am,

now that I know
I'm actually 190 pounds.

Well, I didn't say
you were 190. [chuckles]

The grain bag on the scale

definitely
didn't weigh 53 pounds.

20, tops.

So I weigh...

223 pounds?!

Why would you tell me that?

I'm sorry.

Look, it's probably
just water weight

from all the sodium
in that protein pop.

Maybe.

I did drink five of them.

There you go.

Mind you,
you didn't drink those

until after the weigh-in.

Wow, you are terrible
at consoling people.

I think I'll go
for a walk.

Brent, wait!

Grimm, wait!

Who moved my car?

[♪♪♪]

[springs squeak]

Here comes
the big moment.

[dramatic
movie soundtrack plays]

[gasping]

[♪♪♪]

[gasping]

[gasping]

[♪♪♪]

-[smooching and moaning]
-Hey, who's in my--

[screams]

[screaming]

[screams]

My eyes!

My eyes!

Oh, grow up.

[♪♪♪]

[movie stops abruptly]

[honking horns,
shouts of outrage]

What the hell
happened?

[horns blaring]
-Where is the movie?

-[angry shouting]
-This isn't funny, Hank!

I want
my money back!

You didn't
pay anything!

Then we want
free snacks.

Hey! You can't
have those!

No? Well,
we can throw 'em!

[angry shouting]

[grunting]

The spark...

[nervously] Let's
get the hell outta here.

It's Pelly time!

Brent!
What happened?

Parents... embracing.

Limbs entwined like snakes.

[crowd shouting in outrage]

Officer Kick-Ass
at your service.

I hate bottled water!

Put that back!

Wind chimes!

[grunting] Ho!

-Ha--
-Whoa!

Ha! That'll teach you to--

[taser crackles, Wanda groans]

[together]: Oops.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

It's amazing
how some people change

when there's a crisis.

Phew, you think
you know people.

Yeah.

You think
you know people.

[Brent clears throat]

Um, I feel bad

that things got
a little crazy last night,

and I think an apology
is owed to everyone.

Lacey?

Me?

Why should I
apologize?

You started this all
with the fat-shaming.

If that hadn't happened,

I wouldn't have been upset,
gone to my car,

and seen that-which-will-
never-be-mentioned-again,

which made me wreck
the projector.

Why are you
freaking out?

We were fully clothed.

I saw part
of your bra strap.

Look, everyone
just wants to know

how the movie ends.

I mean, I don't,

but these sheep.

Oh, well, that's easy.

We can watch it
on the screen at the bar.

Yes!

Now we--
They can find out--

if Grimm survives
going over the cliff.

He's not even in the car.

He jumped
at the last minute,

punched out the body guard,

and escaped to Fiji

with the drug lord's
daughter.

Oh.

Did I do it again?

[everyone shouting in outrage]

It's Pelly time!

[♪♪♪]

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ The same things
you don't know ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ I just... don't know ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ It's a great big place ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ And it's my happy place ♪

♪ I don't know ♪♪