All language subtitles for Corner.Gas.Animated.S01E06_English

I think you're making
something out of nothing here.

Come on.

Green beans are green,
and brown beans are brown,

so why aren't navy beans blue?

Wanda, help me out here.

Sorry.
Watching sports.

Rhythmic Gymnastics?

A ribbon on a stick
is not a sport.

Tell that
to the Armenians,

and then buckle up for war.

Wow, you guys are
really into hyperbole.

I just saw the most
horrifying thing

any human has
ever witnessed.

Are you still upset
about your pet turtles?

I told you, Hank,

when two turtles
love each other very much...

It's not about Mr.
and Mrs. Franklin.

They're married now?

Better be,

if they're doing that
under my roof.

No, I just watched a show
about world disaster,

and it's got me
a little rattled.

Brah, check out all the snow.

Totally weird.

Totally.

Even the water's froze.

[woman]:
Whoa, dude.

Like, something totally moved
under the ice.

Oh, snap.

We're being attacked
by giant ocean mice!

Run, dudes!

Dude...
dude!

Dude! Dude!

So many dead dudes.

Um, Hank?

I think what you saw
was that Sharknado rip-off.

It's called "Hippothermia."

So none of that
really happened,

but more importantly,
your turtles are married?

Doesn't matter
if it was a movie.

It could happen.
Right, Wanda?

Absolutely.

You should go home
and lock your doors,

or at least go home.

Was the wedding
done by a minister,

or just, like, a
justice of the peace?

[kicking him]

What? Were you invited
to the ceremony?

♪ You think
there's not a lot going on ♪

♪ Look closer, baby

♪ You're so wrong

I can't believe you drink
hot beverages in this weather.

Why don't you try
an iced coffee?

Because iced coffee
is a whatchacallit...

an abomination.

I think we should all
appreciate this heat

before we're all walking
in a winter murderland.

Are you still on about
that stupid movie?

Lacey said
it's already happening.

I said a sequel
is happening.

Climate's going
haywire coconuts.

That's scientific fact,

and one day,

the hippos
will come for us.

People didn't believe
there were alligators

in the sewers
of New York,

and look what
happened there.

Nothing happened
there.

Exactly.

People stood around
and did nothing.

I am way too hung over
for this.

Look, the town
probably has

an emergency
preparedness plan

to handle natural
disasters.

Right, Fitzy?

[slurping straw]

Oh, sure.

Um... yeah.
Yeah, sure we do.

Okay, I was wrong,
and we're doomed.

We're not doomed.

Fitzy's going back
to his office

to start on
an emergency plan

this afternoon.

Bah!
Emergency plan.

Buncha commie do-nothing
red tape is all that is.

I'll help you, Fitzy.

I'd rather spend the day
mired in commie tape

than mindless rage.

Do what you want,
Comrade,

but you'll be doing it
without me.

That's the point.

I'll help you guys with
the emergency plan.

Well, yippee.

Emergency plan...

pft!

Everyone knows that chaos ensues

in a post-apocalyptic
world.

I hear that.

The first thing
I would do

as disaster cult leader

is assign everyone
an adjective.

Wait, what?

A first name
adjective,

like Mad Max.

I'd be Disgruntled Davis.

You'd be Krazy Karen.

I know crazy
starts with a "C,"

but in a
post-apocalyptic world,

no rules.

No, I mean, why
would you be leader?

What about Fitzy?

Seriously?

He'd be the first
to get eaten.

[Karen]: Yeah, I
could see that.

For sure.

A little garlic,
and butter...

mmm...

Looks like you and I

are the only two
with our heads on straight.

Impending doom is upon us,

and those stuffed shirts
sit around

clucking like a bunch of ducks.

Flock.

Watch your mouth.

I think we need
to join forces

to save this town
from itself.

Damn straight.

If you and I put
our heads together,

what could go wrong?

I can't wait to find out.

[Lacey]:
Brent!

The air conditioning unit
is blowing warm air.

So the fan
is working.

Good news.

You don't see anything wrong
with an AC unit blowing hot air

on a hot day?

Well, if you say the word "hot"
twice in a row like that, sure.

I asked you to fix it
way back in April.

Well, there's
your problem.

You told me to do it
so long ago, I forgot.

I've got a lot on
my mind, Lacey.

Really?
Like what?

Like...

making the work schedule,

and remembering
when I work on the schedule,

and figuring out
why Batman thought it was okay

to have a 12-year-old
fight crime with him.

Seems irresponsible.

Ugh!
Come on, Brent!

Uh-oh.
What's going on here?

Look, just because
it's blowing warm air

doesn't mean the air
isn't conditioned.

You put conditioner
in your hair.

It doesn't make
your head cold.

You string words together.
Doesn't mean you make sense.

You know what,
I don't need to sit around here

being pestered
by some harangutang.

Huh?
How's that for a word string?

I'm going next door
to cool off.

You mean figuratively cool off,

since the air conditioner's
broken!

No, I mean
literally cool off,

'cause I'm sticking my head
in the freezer.

I hope you sit on a popsicle!

I'm sorry you had
to hear that, Emma.

That was kind of weird.

Anyway, I best get home
and sort my preserves.

It's a big job
for one person...

just me...
all alone.

Are you hinting
that you'd like me to...

That would be wonderful.

Thank you.

I have to make
a phone call,

so why don't you
go on ahead

and I'll meet you
at the house?

You want me to...

Uh-huh,
and I'll meet you there.

What the hell just happened?

Why do you assume that
you would be leader?

I could lead just
as well as you.

Crazy Krazy Karen.

Keep that sense
of humour.

It'll be a valuable tool

for disarming hostility
in the future chaos.

Wanda,

who would you pick
as post-apocalyptic leader,

Davis or me?

Hmm...

well, now,
that is a bit of a quandary.

We could ask Brent,
but he seems busy.

You'll have to speak up, Mom.
I'm in a fridge.

Just me, then?

Okay, well...

on the one hand,

Davis is large,
powerful,

and a senior officer.

On the other hand...

Karen's teeth
are incredibly white.

Do you floss?

And there it is.

We have our leader,

and he is me,
and me is I.

Hey, why so glum?

What do you mean?

You just said Davis
is a better leader

than me.

I never said that.

I said he was
big and strong,

but he doesn't have
your brains, stupid.

Oh.

Outsmart him.

Think of his
weaknesses,

and use them
against him.

Nothing beats brains.

Without brains,

you're just a couple
of meat sticks

wandering around

with an arm-load
of groceries.

They're not
groceries.

We'll talk
later.

They're emergency
supplies

for when the world
craps the bed.

I'm unfamiliar
with that particular disaster,

but it does sound gross.

Oscar and I
are building

a shelter so amazing,

you're going
to be begging

for the world
to end.

I've been doing that
since I was 12.

So who's footing the bill?

Put it on my tab.

Brent, you okay with that?

I'm on the phone,

in the fridge!

[Lacey]: Ugh,
I can't believe I got conned

into canning in this cold crypt.

[Brent]:
Nice word string.

Aah!

Why are you here?

Where's your mom?

Dunno. She told me
to meet her here.

[slam]

[Lacey]: Emma?
Is that you?

[Emma]: It's not healthy
for you two

to fight so much,

so I decided to lock you up

until you resolve
your differences.

She has a point.

Bickering doesn't
solve anything.

I know I could be
more responsible

and proactive.

And I guess I could be
a little less demanding.

Well, there it is.

Resolution complete!

We rock.

Okay, Emma!
You can let us out now!

Emma?

[vehicle drives away]

Ugh, well, that doesn't
sound very good.

Yeah, there's a hole
in their muffler...

And it means
we're stuck here,

so, yeah, not good.

What'd you get?

Food...

traps to keep animals
away from the food,

some bait to trap
animals that are food,

and lotion.

Hey, good thinking.

People in disasters
always have the worst skin.

Speaking of skin,

when am I going
to be reimbursed

for this stuff?

Oh, Oscar.

Money is useless
after an apocalypse.

Currency is meaningless
when it's raining frogs.

Reminder to prepare
for frog rain.

There's no tape
in that thing.

It records
on a digital chip.

Oh!

Reminder to get digital chips...

and potato chips.

We don't need chips.

We need a shelter
to put this stuff in.

See, that's why you're
so valuable to the team.

Reward Oscar with a
surprise commendation.

I'm re-thinking
Disgruntled Davis.

What's another "D" word
that best describes me?

I have a few in mind.

Sorry, but I
have to do this.

Do what?

Not the butter
in the coffee again.

Can I have
your attention, please?

As many of you know,

Dog River
is in the midst

of putting together
an emergency disaster plan.

We're planning
a disaster?

There's also been
some discussion

about who would be leader
in a crisis,

since the general consensus
is that Fitzy would get eaten.

[murmuring]

Most of you think
Davis would be a good choice,

but consider this
short presentation.

[Wanda's voice]:
Davis Quinton.

Tall, strong, handsome...

a natural-born leader...

or is he?

Afraid of spiders...

drinks from the carton...

cries at romantic comedies...

believes in Orcs...

spends more time sleeping

than trying to reduce
the murder rate.

Davis Quinton.

He snoozes, we loses.

The murder rate
is zero.

I didn't know
it was going to be this harsh.

I'm Karen Pelly,
and I approve this message.

Karen!
Karen!

Karen!
Karen!

Karen!
Karen!

Karen!

[whistling]

Do you have
to whistle?

I'm just trying
to make the best

of a bad situation,

which isn't
that bad, really.

It's kind of cool
down here.

There's zero stress.

Jars of mysterious foods.

[sighing]

You're so adaptable.

Sometimes I wonder

how you ever manage
to get anything done.

I'm wondering

how you've managed
to live this long

and not have
your head explode.

I like being
proactive

and in control.

And I like
being laid back

and rolling
with the punches.

I've got a punch
you can roll with.

What's that?

Where's Emma?

[Fitzy]:
The only emergency plan I found

is from the early 1900s.

All it says is,
"May ye find God."

That's a little
light on detail.

We should probably
make a new one.

They seem
to think so.

We have
many questions.

And opinions.

And fears.

She's a little rough
around the edges.

I've seen
smoother edges

on a half-open
can of tuna.

She's perfect.

If there's
an earthquake,

the walls will wobble
without falling.

If there's a hurricane,

the wind will whistle
harmlessly

through the many holes,

and if there's a flood,

she'll be easy
to tear apart

to make rafts.

How much?

200.

I'm not paying
200 a month

for this bundle
of pick-up sticks.

A month?

No, for 200 bucks,
it's yours forever.

Does that
include parking?

Yeah, sure.

Ooh...

Uhh...

this is what prison
must be like.

Where did you get a rubber ball?

Ball?

This is a preserved plum.

You said

that you would try
to be more proactive,

so how about
you proactive us

a way out of here?

I guess I could use
one of these tin lids

to tunnel
through this concrete wall...

which is concrete.

Well, at least
we're doing something.

Okay, then,
here we go.

Scraping
a concrete wall.

Next stop,
freedom.

[banging]

Shh.
What's that?

Is someone there?

Lacey?

What in the Sam Hill

are you doing
in the cold cellar?

[Brent]:
It's a long story.

And why do you
sound like Brent?

Just let us out, please.

I can't.
The door is padlocked.

Who locks a cold cellar?

That's what I said.

You sneak in once
to eat some peaches...

Ooh, there's
peaches in here?

Oscar,
try and find some bolt cutters.

Good idea.

We could use those
in the emergency shelter.

Bye!

Bye?

What do you mean, "bye"?

At least tell us
where the peaches are!

Come on, sourpuss.

So Karen ambushed you
with some personal stuff.

Fight back.

I wouldn't know where to start.

Well, that's where I come in.

I'll be right beside you
every step of the way.

As the Orcs say,
"Goth glah Mere Shklah!"

You just said
"Sing fish house."

I know.

Something to think about.

I didn't think
being stuck in a cold cellar

could get any better,

but now, peaches.

Lovely.

How's the scraping going?

Not sure.

Can you shine some light
over here

so I can see?

Holy!
What flashlight app do you have?

Oh.

[laughing]
Brent!

We're free!

Actually,
you're free.

My gut tells me
I'm staying here.

I feel bad
leaving you behind.

Hey, partner.

Davis, look, no offence
about earlier today.

Do I look upset,
sitting here drinking cream...

from a glass?

[murmuring]

I can't help
but notice

that you eat
a lot of bananas.

So I like bananas.

Sure.

It's just that they'd be hard
to find after an apocalypse,

and I'd hate to see
what kind of leader you'd be

when you're low on potassium.

[murmuring]

What happens
when you're low on potassium?

I heard you lose all
sense of right and wrong.

Karen eats all
kinds of fruits.

She's a good
customer.

So I guess it's safe to assume

that she's in bed
with business owners.

Oh, come on!

[murmuring]

When I say she's in bed
with business,

I mean that figuratively.

Or do you?

Or do I?

Davis!

And she litters!

All in favour

of voting
by secret ballots,

raise your hand.

Shouldn't we decide
that by secret ballot?

Okey-dokey,

close your eyes
and raise your hand.

Dear God.

Emma!

Lacey?
How did you...

I mean, I was about
to go check on you and Brent.

Really?

Because it doesn't
look that way.

Fine.

I had no intention
of letting you out

until after the meeting.

Why?

Why don't you want me here?

Because every time
you're at a meeting,

you take over,
and pretty soon,

no one can get
a word in edge...

That's not true.

Is it?
Fitzy?

I'm just trying to
help get things done

and make sure everything
is under... control.

Ah.

Maybe I do need to step back.

Please don't.

We'd prefer you
to stick around for this one.

Are there any
questions for Lacey?

Is an alien invasion
a disaster?

What about a zombie apocalypse?

Who will compete
for our district

if there's
a Hunger Games?

O...kay.

All really good questions
that I'm...

going to step outside
and think about.

Coward!

Hey Mr. Too-Big
to-Fit-Through-a-Window.

Ouch.

Sorry,
that sounded meaner out loud

than it did in my head.

That's okay,
but for the record,

I prefer "Husky-pants."

Did you forget something?

I did.

I forgot how good
peaches taste with...

whipped cream!

Aah!

I knew you'd be excited.

Yeah.

Also, I think something
crawled across my foot.

[squeaking]

There you are.

I was starting to think
you collapsed somewhere

from lack
of potassium.

Look, I appreciate
your help today,

but I am done lobbying.

If the public thinks
I'm the right choice,

then I hope they come to me.

Why don't you give them
a reason to come to you?

Like what?

Well, when a natural
disaster happens,

people feel scared.

They need comforting.

I guess.

How do I do that?

Think back

to a calming influence
in your life,

and use that.

Deep breaths.

In through the nose,
out through the mouth.

Release all tension.

Steady your hands.

Now snip
the red wire.

That was
the green wire.

You've killed us all.

I wasn't expecting
bomb diffusion,

but sure,
run with that.

Hey, Karen, do you have
any spare stun guns?

[deep breathing]

Come on, I just want
the spare ones.

Mm, maybe you're
onto something

with this
relaxing thing,

and these peaches
are a delight.

Sorry I took
the last jar.

You didn't.

There's a whole bunch
over there.

[Lacey]:
Those are the spoiled ones.

Uh-oh.

Seriously?

They were green
and fizzing.

I thought they
were carbonated!

[stomach rumbling]

Oh, boy.

I need to get out
of this cellar, pronto,

or what happens next

could really test
our friendship.

[snoring]

Davis!

Aah!

What are you
doing sleeping?

This is my nap time.
I've earned it.

Besides, I've got
this leadership thing

in the bag.

Nothing's
in the bag.

You don't even
have a bag...

metaphorically.

As leader, people will always be
looking to overthrow you.

You fall asleep,

and the next thing
you know...

I bet someone's
watching right now.

They are?

Trust no one.

Hey, Davis.

Aah! What do
you want?

Who sent you?

I need to borrow
your hockey equipment

to use as armour.

Oh.

It's in the trunk.

[trunk popping open]

Phew!
Holy Dinah!

Smells like a chicken coop
full of fish guts.

Whoa, you were in the
men's room a while.

How are you feeling?

Like a football stadium
after the game ends.

Every exit is busy.

Well, I'll say this.

You can be
pretty proactive

when you need to.

You two seem to be
getting along better.

Maybe locking you up

wasn't a bad idea
after all.

No, it was a terrible idea,

even if I did learn
a lesson from it.

I learned
fuzzy peaches good,

fizzy peaches bad.

What's up
with Davis?

What are you looking at?

He looks tired.

He looks crazy.

More crazy than tired.

[Karen]:
Hello, my children.

Karen.

You look...
different.

More crazy
than different.

[dreamily]
I just want you to know

I care about you all deeply.

Not the best time to
give me a squeeze.

Karen's
acting strange.

Probably
her potassium levels.

[whispering]

All right,
knock it off!

Karen doesn't have
a potassium problem,

and she's not in bed
with anyone.

Well, this is new.

She's a damn good cop
and my partner,

and if being
apocalyptic leader

means that we have
to rip each other apart,

then I don't want
the job.

[dreamy]
I don't want the...

[clearing throat]

[normal voice]
I don't want the job either.

Let me buy you
a beer, partner.

[Wanda]:
There you have it, folks!

The only real choice
for apocalyptic leader

is me.

And why is that?

Because
I spent the entire day

pitting Karen and Davis
against each other

until they snapped
like Brent's waistband

at a pie-eating contest.

That happened one time!

Actually, Wanda,

I think
you're a poor choice.

What?
Why?

You're a bit underhanded.

Insincere.

Kind of short.

We need someone
who's fearless.

Well, I heard
Brent was poisoned

and chewed his way
through a concrete wall

to survive.

Well, there it is, then!
Brent for apocalyptic leader!

[cheering]

Good luck.

You'll all be dead on day one.

If you're going to be leader,
then what about Fitzy?

If you want to eat me,

you're going to have
to catch me first!

[chuckling]

What?

Geez, we missed a lot
in the cellar.

[murmuring]

Our apocalypse committee
has determined

there are four possible plans
in any disaster scenario...

seek higher ground,

seek lower ground,

go underground,

or crawl up a tree.

Well, that is comprehensive.

[laughing]

Isn't that delightful?

Where the hell
have you two been?

While
you lily-skinned scholars

were lollygagging,

Hank and I put together

the best damned
emergency shelter

your useless money
can buy.

We have every supply
you can think of.

You hung bear traps
on the walls?

They're pre-set
to save time.

And are those
boxes of fireworks?

To signal
rescue crews.

Plus, super fun,
am I right?

And you just figured,

"Hey, let's stack them
by the fire"?

We're not stupid.

We kept the fireworks away
from the propane tanks.

Which you placed
beside the flares,

because "not stupid."

I'll take you to the back

where we store
the fuel buckets.

[blowing] No need.
We're all impressed.

You've created something
90 times deadlier

than nature could ever imagine.

We should go.

Aah!

What?

Thought I saw
a spider.

[♪♪♪]

♪ I don't know

♪ The same things
you don't know ♪

♪ I don't know

♪ I just... don't know

♪ Ooh

♪ It's a great big place

♪ Ooh

♪ Full of nothing but space

♪ Ooh

♪ It's my happy place