Original subtitles

[ Triumphant music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Metal squeaking and clanging ]

Informal polling in the election has you way ahead of Vicki J.

Yeah, but Vicki J has support of the jocks.

You have the choral group.

Choral group isn't the jocks.

Ma'am, does this go any faster?

You -- You could really just crank it.

[ Whirring ]

[ Thunk ]Okay.

♪♪

Can we start our day now?

Peter: I'm telling you, I think you're gonna win.

Let's just hand out more buttons at lunch.

And I should probably make an appearance at drama club.

Can you pleasestop talking about the presidential campaign?

I'm really not enjoying this, you guys.

Chad, what's it to you? You're not even helping.

Yeah, but I have to listen about it all the damn time.

And, honestly, the psychic toll has been enormous.

Well, election day is tomorrow, and we have to finish strong.

Which reminds me, am I still coming over

to make election-day posters tonight?

Yep. I just got a fresh set of markers.

And just for the record, I will not be there.

Thanks for the support, Chad.

Nope.

Nope. Mm?

She's taking advantage of you, dawg.

[ Scoffs ]What do you mean?

I like helping Denise.

Yeah, that's what she wants you to think.

She's got you programmed into her little system.

Haven't you ever seen "The Matrix"?

[ Laughter ]

Are you kidding me?

Dude, they got you, too?

-Oh. -Aw, dude.

-Oh, my. -What's going on?

It's punk-a-hunk week.

All week long, the cheerleaders prank the lockers

of the boys they like.

Oh, wow.

I love little traditions.

I bet it was Nina.

[ Laughs ] Shut up. This is annoying.

Dang, man, Reid. [ Laughs ]

Reid's locker got punked herrd.

It's so funny the cheerleaders all, like, want to hook up

with you or something.

It's like a panty.

Uh, y-yeah, I guess.

Cool, dude. Sloppy salmon. Aah! Aah!

Sloppy salmon. Stop.

Sloppy sa-- Hey, hey, hey. Stop, stop!

I'm sorry to have a tone with you,

but it's just clear you don't take hints.

Not totally sure where that's coming from.

Uh, I'm talking to my therapist a lot, and...

I've been trying to be really nice to you all year,

but I think I need to set a healthy boundary.

I think that goes for all of us.

Joey?

Jaxon?

Okay, I understand.

But I actually do need to get to my locker,

and it's right behind you.

Hello. Gentlemen.

Boy: What's up, Pete?

♪♪

[ Indistinct voices on video ]

So cool.

[ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ] Something's really funny?

What? No. I'm talking to Avery.

Do you want to try to connect with your brother

for a couple minutes, sweetie pie?

I'm good.

Niki, I'm gonna be really vulnerable.

Can you put down your damn phone?

'Cause I'm depressed, and I need a little bit of love right now.

Okay, Chad, what's going on?

You're acting reallyweird.

Yeah, because I have no one to hang out with,

and it's freaking depressing.

I-I used to be Reid's right-hand guy.

Him and all his tall friends

were giving me all this attention

and not forgetting my name.

We were like family.

Now our vibe just feels so broken.

Okay, I'm gonna go ahead

and skip over a lot of what you just said...

Okay, lazy....and point out the fact

that Reid was never really your friend.

Your true friend is Peter.

Why don't you go call him?

'Cause he's helping Denise with her freakin'

Presidential campaign.

Plus, she doesn't even deserve this.

She's bossing him around all the time

and taking advantage of how nice he is.

That's ironic coming from you.

Just tell me what to do, Niki.

Chad, go be a good friend and help them with the campaign.

That way, you get to hang out with Peter,

who you really care about.

I do care about that little son of a bitch.

You're right.

You're right.

Thanks for the advice, Niki.

You know, it's times like this

I'm really hopeful for your future.

Okay.

♪♪

Peter! Peter!

Ahh! [ Laughs ]

[ Gasps ]

Ch-Chad, what are you doing here?

[ Intense music plays ]

Ah! Oh, my -- ow!

Chad, Chad, hey.

Chad: What did I even see back there?

Am I losing my mind?!

Denise and I were kissing.

Oh, God, I'm gonna vom.

Chad, I didn't mean for you to find out this way.

But Denise and I have been dating for a bit now.

Betrayal! Ugh!

Wait, so when me and you went to Reid's family vacation home,

you were dating Denise?

Mm-hmm.

What about when we played "Call of Duty" at Best Buy,

and I puked from eating too many Sour Patch Kids?

Yep. [ Scoffs ]

And the second time that happened?

Peter! I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

But we were just waiting for the right time,

because, you know...

'Cause what?

Say it.

I know you have me,

but outside of that, you're kind of...

alone.

What?

You're talking about -- you're saying me?

Me?

Is it even possible to be alone nowadays

with all this damn technology?

Are you okay?Are you crazy?

Me? Alone?

Give me my phone back.

How could you say that?

I was worried about you being alone, actually, Peter.

Yeah. Um...

I have girls andguys hitting me up on my DMs...Wow.

...and it's been out-of-control fun.

Really? Yeah.

And I'm engaging with allthe girl ones.

Wow, that -- that's amazing, Chad.

Th-- This has just been a huge relief for me.

I -- For some reason, I thought you were gonna be kind of angry.

Angry?

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughing ] Angry.

I'm not angry.

Can you imagine?

Would I do that if I was angry?

[ Laughs ]

I actually have to get going 'cause one of the cheerleaders

is gonna punk-a-hunk my locker...

Oh, well --...so gotta work on getting her off my junk, but --

Wow. Cool.See you later.

Okay. See ya.

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Ominous music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Rat squeaking ]Aah!

Scared me.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Peppy string instruments playing ]

♪♪

[ Banging ]

[ Gasps ]

♪♪

Denise: Oh, hey, Chad.

Hey, guys. Can't talk right now.

Busy day today.

Okay, have a good day, buddy.

What's up? Hello, ladies.

Uh, oh, no.

Why is everyone standing around my locker?

Oh, dang! I got punk-a-hunked.

[ Laughing ] Oh, my gosh. This is so embarrassing.

Wonder which cheerleader has a c-crush on me.

Awkward. Was it you?

Dude, this definitely isn't a punk-a-hunk.

Punk-a-hunk's a beautiful tradition.

Oh, my God. It's a rat.

It's a freaking dead rat.Oh!

I don't think the rat was -- probably not a part of it.

Ah, I don't know, man. This feels pretty targeted.

I mean, the one Middle Eastern kid?

Guys, I feel like we're all just, like, really losing

a grasp on the fact that this is punk-a-hunk week.

So screwed up.

Chad, I don't think this is one of the cheerleaders.

Yeah, we do it for, like, the hunks or whatever,

not, like, some random kid in school that nobody knows.

So we've established nobody did this because they likeChad.

So the question is, who did the hate crime?

The what?

A hate crime.

I mean, we all hate crime, but I don't --

I don't think that's it.No, no, no, dude.

A hate crime is when someone's mean to you

'cause you're, like, different,

which you are.

Guys, let's not limit this to one person that hates Chad.

Like, this could be a whole conspiracy.

Think we should approach everything

with patience right now.

The words are kind of flying right now.

I think we just all need to slow down a little bit.

Dude, Chad got a hate-crime!

I just asked you literally not to do that.

You guys, I'm just a little hunk that got punked.

Remember?

[ School bell rings ]

Principal Holmes: Chad, we've called your family in

to discuss today's incident.

Oh, let's call it what it is --

a heinous crime against humanity.

Obviously, this school has a zero-tolerance policy

against prejudice.

We do have some security-cam footage of the locker area.

And we'd like to play it for you to see

if you recognize the perpetrator.

Let's watch.

Okay.

Do you recognize him?

Nope. No.

Um, honestly, I-I think maybe it -- it could be a girl.

You know, the cheerleaders are all punking the lockers

of guys they have a crush on.

No, no, that's not it.

Look at the body language.

This person is dead inside.

-Mm. -He's deranged.

Hm.

To think, this person has a mother. [ Scoffs ]

Um, I'm sure his mother's gonna bounce back

and not let this define her,

'cause moms are very strong, according to society.

Oh, dang. No more angles.

[ Exhales ]We did our best.

But at this point, I think if we keep talking about it,

the terrorists win.

Chad, I promise you, we will stop at nothing

to find this perpetrator

and punish him to the full extent of the law.

Thanks.

Tha-- That's exactly what I needed to hear right now.

♪♪

Peter: Oh, hey, Chad.

Uh, hey, Peter, can I have a word with you real quick?

Denise: Oh, my God, Chad.

I want you to know, as a fellow person of color,

I'm here for you, with or without your vote.

Please, take a cupcake.

Oh, um, okay. Thanks.

I really appreciate your wokeness, Denise.

Peter, if I can just talk to you a-alone, if possible?

Oh, uh, is that okay, baby?

Okay.

Chad, is everything okay?

I've been worried for you.

Peter, I have to tell you something,

but you promise not to freak out, okay?

I punk-a-hunked my own locker and now everybody thinks

it's a hate crime and I don't know what to do

and I'm probably gonna go to prison,

and you knowpeople in prison are gonna tease my ass.

I-I'm confused.

Why did you punk-a-hunk your own locker?

You told me one of the cheerleaders

was going to do that.

Oh, Peter, you're such a damn innocent.

You are not gonna believe this about me,

but I am a liar.

Okay, I lie constantly, and I lied about this

and I'm probably gonna lie to get out of it.

But why?

Because I was teed off about you and Denise.

What? Chad, my relationship with Denise

has nothing to do with you.

I love her.

Oh, you loveher? You love her?

What -- What are you, a Goddamn middle-aged man?

How could you do this to me?

You stabbed me in the back, man.

You,of all people.

If it wasn't for your canoodling with her,

none of this would've happened to me.

Wow. Um...

I'm sorry you feel that way.

Good luck with your hate crime, Chad.

I gotta get back to Denise.

♪♪

Aw, crap.

You can use my pencil if you want.

But it's your pencil.

Or you can use mine, Chad.

It's mechanical.You guys, it's okay.

I don't even know how to solve this problem.

[ Laughs ] You're so funny.

Yeah, you're, like, hilarious.

I can't believe we haven't hung out before.

What the dick is happening?

Chad, man, what was it like

when you realized you had got hate-crimed?

I-I'm not gonna lie.

It severely knocked me on my ass.

Some people in this world

have a lot of dumbass hatred in their heart.

You know, in some ways, a piece of me

will always be in that locker area,

and I'll always be left there, being hate-crimed.

Yo, anytime somebody talks about White privilege,

I'd usually make fun of them, but then I realized

I'm a part of the problem.

And the messed-up part is, is that I'm frickin' Italian.

You know, so if this was, like, the Titanicdays,

people wouldn't even consider meWhite.

Wow.

I think I speak for everyone in this room

when I say I'm so damn happy you were not on the Titanic.

Racism just deadass sucks.

I feel terrible for all the ways

that I haven't supported you in the past.

So from this moment on,

I'm just gonna be a complete homey to you.

Do you forgive me?

It would be my honor to let you make this up to me.

I really do forgive you.

Just don't let it happen again.

Okay? I'm serious.

You said that.What did I say?

I just remember really feeling like I could relate to it.

Yeah.

Chad, a word, please.

Uh, sure.

I'll meet you guys at the gym.

Capture that flag, son.

Denise, this better be worth it.

For a victim of a hate crime this morning,

you sure seem to be enjoying it.

I'm sorry, Denise, are you blaming the victim?

I'm just saying you're playing the victim card pretty hard.

So let me get this straight.

You think I'm faking something to get sympathy from everyone.

Where'd you get that idea, a mirror?

What did you tell Peter earlier?

Nothing. Really?

Because he's been acting weird all day.

He's a weird kid, Denise.

I don't know what to tell you.

I think Peter knows something,

and I'm gonna get it out of him.

Go ahead. Be my guest.

I'm gonna eat you alive, Denise,

and I'm gonna spit you out,

and I'm gonna feed your body to Peter.

Boop.

♪♪

Chad!

[ Cheering ]

Chad. Chad.

Chad.

Chad.

Whoo!Chad. What's up?

-Chad! -Chad!

♪♪

Uh, hello?

Where is everybody?

Reid: Hey, dude.

How you feeling after yesterday?

Hey, we'll never forget what happened.

Denise didn't say anything to you?

Nah, man. About what?

N-Nothing.

Yeah, never mind.

Well, I should probably get to class.

Oh, uh, hey, you forgot something.

Sloppy salmon!

[ Laughing ] Oh, man!

Oh, God, I love it!

It's so funny!

[ Laughs ]

[ Deep voice ] Chad!

[ Voice morphing ] I know what you did.

[ Breathing heavily ]

Soon, everyone will know the truth.

No. Please.

Please, Reid, don't do this.

It's all gonna end soon.

Please, I'm scared.

Chad. Chad.

Chad. Chad.

Chad. Chad.

[ Laughter ]

No!

Nooooooooooooooo!

[ Gasping ]

Jesus Christ.

Told you about the off-brand.

Having trouble sleeping?

Yeah, me, too.

Y-Yeah, I just had a little night terror.

Ugh. Oh, honey, it's been a rough day.

Hey, Mom, quick question.

Um...

what's your stance on me, like, in general?

Do you pretty much feel like you have unconditional love for me,

or could that ever change if I effed up really hard?

None of thisis your fault.

You know, I really believe everything happens for a reason.

Maybe we'll find out what that reason is.

Come here, honey.

♪♪

[ Marching band playing ]

♪♪

Hey, Chad. Saved you a seat.

♪♪

Chad, what's up, dude? How you feeling?

You know, like, all things considered?

Okay.

Ready for this dumb election to be over.

Alright, let's hear it for the Flying Fish marching band!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Before I announce the results, yesterday,

we had a very serious case of vandalism

directed at one of our most ethnic students.

It broke me.

But I'll tell you what I love about this community.

Days like today.

You guys came together, you made a statement,

you took the electoral process seriously.[ Band begins playing ]

I've said it once, and I'll say it again.

Love wins.

Your new class president is -- fell the vibes --

Chad Amani!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

You're our Obama!

[ Crowd chanting "Chad!" ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

♪♪

[ Chanting continues ]

♪♪

[ Cheering intensifies ]

[ Chanting continues ]

♪♪

And coming in at a very distant second place,

your new vice president,

Denise Kora -- Ko-al -- Ko-al -- Ko-al-a-ciz-ik?

Ko-al-a-ciz-ik!

Denise, come on up here, sister.

[ Muffled cheering ]

♪♪

I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.

I'm gonna take you down.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

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[ Peppy marching band music plays ]

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