Original subtitles

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[soft upbeat music]

- Come on, Green Dress! - Ooh, thanks, Ally!

- Come on, brand-new Red Shoes!

- [chuckles] Appreciate you, girl.

Nordstrom's.

[tapping keyboard rapidly]

- Jumpsuit! Hello!

Jumpsuit! Let's go, Jumpsuit!

- Yes! You better romp!

- Go on! Connected top and bottom.

[laughter]

- Come on, somebody!

all: Amen!

- No! It's lit, it's lit!

- Yeah, we are! - We're lit!

- Hey, Cute Sweater! You on fire, girl.

- Thank you.

[dramatic music]

- Let's go. Come through, ladies!

- Ally's right! We look too cute to eat inside.

Let's go out for lunch.

- Ooh! - Yes!

Let's go to When Pigs Fry. I love a lunchtime rib.

- Ooh, yes!

I'm a vegan, but

I still be eatin' ribs.

[laughter] - You nasty, you nasty!

[giddy laughter] [tense music]

[klaxon blaring] - Oh, okay.

[chuckles] Come through, Fire Alarm.

I hear you giving me better-late-than-never-

let-me-make-sure-this- is-a-real-fire-

and-not-just-a-drill energy. [chuckles]

Fire Alarm, sis, I'ma head out, but you keep doing you, okay?

Telling us what's going on.

It's a fire in here. I hear you.

I hear you said,

"[imitates klaxon rhythmically]"

I was like, "[imitates klaxon rhythmically]"

[chuckles] Okay. Bye, sis.

This is the as-best-os fire I ever seen.

Look at this building.

Talking 'bout Smoke, Wind, and Fire.

Y'all my favorite band. [laughs]

- ♪ Here's a little story 'bout a raw-ass bitch ♪

♪ That'll take yo' man like she take that dick ♪

♪ She got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one ♪

♪ She like strapped street niggas ♪

♪ Who gon' run them funds ♪

♪ I got a gang of bitches who gon' see 'bout me ♪

♪ Quick to run up in your shit, ho, one, two, three ♪

♪ Selling out 'bout me, I still remain untouched ♪

♪ I just walk through them hos and drop my nuts ♪

♪ Your baby daddy fell in love, I just wanted to fuck ♪

♪ I just wanted the cash, all he wanted was us ♪

♪ Take a blunt to the face while he rubbing my butt ♪

♪ Countin' money in my panties ♪

♪ That shit give me rush ♪

♪ And be like ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Get a bag, make 'em mad ♪

♪ Bitch, you bad wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Make a mess, leave 'em pressed ♪

♪ You the best wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Get a bag, make 'em mad ♪

♪ Bitch, you bad wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Make a mess-- ♪

♪ Dip wit' it 'cause you a truck wit' it ♪

♪ Now do a half foot, now put yo' hips in it ♪

♪ Let me see you do it ♪

- You know where I'm president?

My fly-ass, apocalypse-proof house.

And I know you all don't believe me,

but it is real, okay?

And guess who's going back there?

Me and only me! [cackles]

So good luck surviving without the cool one!

[quirky upbeat music]

- Honestly? Fine.

I don't have to live like this.

I can go create my own country

and when you're all ready to admit that I'm right,

you can apply for visas.

And guess what?

The process is very long and needlessly complicated.

- Fine. I'm out.

Just like Beyoncé said:

It's gon' be me, myself, and I'ma be my own best friend.

Hey!

- Well, good idea.

You all leave. Let me work out in peace.

- Can I stay? I like to work out.

I mean, I've never tried it, but it sounds cool.

- We start at 4:00 a.m. sharp.

- I'll do whatever it takes.

All I wanted was for us to be together like a family.

- Oh, cut the sister act, Whoopi Goldberg.

- I didn't want things to end like this.

- Everything ends like this.

Xscape, the Beatles...

[softly] B2K.

- I used to be the strategic bandana placement officer

for B2K and my-- - Oh, shut up!

- Oh, now we screamin' at people to shut up?

What is this, my childhood?

- Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm-mm.

No.

We all should just pack our shit.

And yes, I came with nothing and I'm leaving with something.

You want a family, huh, huh?

You want some family?

Well, that's what it's like!

[dramatic music] journalists: Olivia! Olivia!

[overlapping shouted questions]

- How was the date?

[shouting continues]

- Yeah, look,

things did not go according to plan out there tonight,

but I'll take some questions. Go ahead.

- Olivia, hi. Laura James, "Skins Weekly."

Tough date tonight.

Can you tell us what went wrong?

- Yeah. Everything. I mean, you guys saw it.

I was too focused on rebounding and not enough on scoring.

Next? journalists: Olivia! Olivia!

- Omega Bell, DTF Sports.

This was your first time going head-to-head with Team Terrell.

Can you walk us though your strategy?

- Sure. My strategy was to play hard-to-get.

I waited a regulation three days before returning his text,

but obviously, Terrell is a tough competitor

and he really stuck with his game plan.

- Uh, Briana Payne, "Ding-a-ling Digest."

How would you say

Terrell stacked up against other players

like Trent or Corey or Kevin

or Steve or Mike

or James or Tommy

or Tom?

- Bubba? - Bubba.

- Reggie, too. - I mean, a lot of dates.

- Oh, okay.

Well, Trent and Corey were both above 6'3", you know?

So with Terrell, I initially felt undermatched.

[overlapping shouted questions]

- Earlier in your career,

you'd come right out and try to smash your opponents.

Tonight, you took it easy. Why?

- Look, a-at the end of the day,

I'm used to shooting my shot, you know?

But Terrell came out and he's such a seasoned vet, you know?

It just didn't seem smart

to try to take it straight to the hole.

- Laura James, "Skins Weekly." Let's talk stats.

You had a few fouls tonight.

Let's talk about your reach-in foul

where you pretended to go for the check.

- I think the ref made a tough call there, okay?

You know, it was clear that my opponent came to pay tonight.

[overlapping shouted questions]

- Olivia, you were almost ejected from the restaurant

for yelling at a waiter.

Do you think it was your temper that cost you the date tonight?

- I would say that Terrell's negging put me on the defense.

Talkin' 'bout some,

"I usually date models, but you cool."

Look, fans know I play with a lot of heart,

and I'm not proud of what I did out there tonight.

♪ ♪

But you know what?

Nobody's talking about the ref's bullshit calls, okay?

My opponent clearly drooled over his meal twice.

That was double dribbling.

[overlapping shouted questions]

- With a loss like this--

sorry. Laura James, "Skins Weekly."

What does this mean for the rest of the cuffing season?

- It doesn't look great,

but I'm hoping I can turn everything around

and end the season with a ring.

- With loss after loss,

you still think marriage is on the table

for you?

Personally?

Oh, you--oh, you do? [clears throat]

- My sources are telling me

that you've been considering switching to another team.

Are you thinking about a crossover to women?

- Look, I've taken a lot of lickings in my career

and I'm always open to strapping on a new uniform.

- Olivia--

who are these people?

You told me you was going to the bathroom.

- Terrell! Terrell! Who is your braider?

- Terrell! Hey! It's me, Laura!

Hey! Laura James! [overlapping shouted questions]

- Are you Tinder-headed, Terrell?

- Okay, let's go. Yeah. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

- Terrell, you had turnover after turnover tonight.

Care to comment?

- I mean, what can I really say?

I really just love pastries, man. Next question.

- Is that why you chose the two braids?

- You were called out for being on your phone

multiple times throughout the night.

Were you expressing interest in other teams?

- No, no, not at all.

She kept using words that I didn't know,

so I was on Google. It was nothing but net.

- What does this game mean for both your teams moving forward?

- For me, personally,

I was focusing on scoring in the fourth quarter,

but I definitely think I can bring some more D

in overtime, if you're down.

- Yes.

Um, and I've been working on my ballhandling, so.

- Oh.

- So it's not so rough anymore. - Oh, oh.

- Okay.

- So it ain't gonna hurt?

- Uh, it might. [giggles]

[overlapping shouted questions]

- Olivia, Olivia! How was your date?

- Terrell, Terrell! Are those your baby hairs?

Were you inspired by Omarion?

[soft upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

- Crystal!

Are you wanted for murder, girl?

Because you killin' 'em in that jumpsuit!

- This jumpsuit? - Yes, that jumpsuit!

- This jumpsuit? - Sex!

[laughter]

Where'd you get it?

- Girl, it's vintage, but thank you, Fantasia.

- Oh! Of course it is.

You always find all the cute stuff.

And you know how hard that is in our size.

- Don't I, though?

Don't you hate

when you find something that would've been cute

until they added the leopard print, ruffles,

or leopard print ruffles?

I am not trying to dress like my mama's couch.

[laughter]

- Halle! Oh, I'm so glad you made it.

- Oh, you think I'd miss my girl's first housewarming?

You made it very clear our presence was mandatory.

- That's true. [laughter]

[tense orchestral music]

- That's a--that's a really cute jumpsuit, Halle.

- Oh. Thank you, girl.

You know I love me some ASOS.

Hey! I guess I'm not the only one!

Twinsies! - [laughing]

Not really. You know, hers is vintage.

Right, Crystal?

- Mm-hmm.

Vintage.

♪ ♪

- Well, vintage looks good on you.

[chuckles] - Thank you, Halle.

[clinking glass]

First off,

I just want to thank everyone for coming to my housewarming.

As you guys-- - So we just gonna

act like y'all not wearing the same jumpsuit?

[dramatic orchestral flourish]

- Fantasia, chill. So the jumpsuits look alike.

So what?

- They don't just look alike. They're identical.

I mean, y'all can switch at summer camp.

They're "Parent Trap"-ing y'all.

- Move on dot org.

It's not the same jumpsuit.

Anyway--[chuckles] As I was saying.

Now that I live alone,

the thing that I'm looking forward to most

is getting to walk around naked.

- I've lived with her and having a roommate

has never stopped her from walking around naked.

[laughter] - [clears throat loudly]

I wanna see the tag.

[dramatic orchestral flourish]

Well, if it's not the same jumpsuit,

then it won't have the same tag.

We wanna see the tag.

- We don't, Fantasia.

We just came here to judge her throw pillows,

be nice to her sister for the Sephora discount,

and get out of here. It's not that serious.

- What's wrong with my throw pillows?

They're vintage!

Like the jumpsuit.

- Liar. [dramatic orchestral flourish]

- Okay, you know what? Don't believe me?

Here. Check the tag.

♪ ♪

- It's gone. There is no tag.

- Thank you, Tarni.

And if there are no further questions, Annalise Keating--

- No, she lied about where she got the jumpsuit.

Y'all didn't think that she thought to cut the tag out?

I mean, come on! [exclaims breathlessly]

Plus, ASOS hasn't even been around long enough

to be considered vintage.

- According to Wikipedia, ASOS was founded in June of 2000.

[dramatic orchestral flourish] - Really, Tasha? You, too?

Hmm, okay.

Uh, everybody stop being nice to my sister.

Sephora let her go.

- Also according to Wikipedia,

an item starts being vintage once it's been 20 years old.

H-how long has it been?

- It--it's been 21 years.

Y'all should not need calculators for that.

It's very disappointing.

- If she bought it from ASOS,

it would've come in one of those composition-printed bags.

[scoffs]

Everybody check the trash.

- No, hey! Stop it! Stop! This is ridiculous!

Hey, respect me! I am a homeowner!

Okay, you know what? Here, fine.

Here's the bag. I lied, okay?

Are you happy now?

- I knew it. - So what, Fantasia?

You, of all people, should know what it feels like

to always end up at the party

dressed like the other big girl.

And then here comes someone talking about,

"Oh, y'all have to take a picture"

talkin' 'bout some twins.

I am so tired of going to the mall

and hovering over a table of 8s and 10s

hoping they'll magically merge into an 18.

Nobody makes cute clothes for us!

And when they do, everybody jumps on it.

Like Soya.

- Ooh!

- Look at her!

Trying to skinnily sneak out of the party!

- We can see you. You're not that skinny.

Shop in your own section!

- It don't look cute baggy?

- Way to ruin the party, Soya!

- [softly] Okay. Lesson learned.

- You know what?

I am tired of talking about this damn jumpsuit.

You want it so bad? Here!

- Girl! I got the same one!

- God damn it! Anybody else got my shit on?

Y'all wanna copy me so bad, copy my bad oral hygiene!

I need 13 root canals right now.

Copy my financial illiteracy!

I've only been in this house three weeks

and I am already underwater.

Who's trying to copy that shit, huh?

Fuck! [dramatic orchestral flourish]

- All right, so okay. - Yeah.

- Okay. That's for Kimmie and me.

- And for my girl, of course. - Yeah.

- Happy birthday, Bernice! [laughter]

- Here's mine. All ones because I had a good night at the club.

[laughter]

- Thanks, y'all!

I know some of y'all only half-employed,

but I appreciate you throwing me this dinner!

- Uh-oh. - What?

- Did Tony use his Terrence Howard math again?

- Oh, this what we doin' now?

- Actually, we're--we're good. [chuckles]

- You sure?

'Cause I forgot to give my kids they lunch money today,

so I can pitch in.

- No, girl. It's your birthday.

And also, we are right on the money, tip and everything.

Huh.

[slow mysterious music]

[yelps]

[all shouting]

- Greetings, oh wise and math-tastical ones!

I am the get down with the markdown,

the get up with the pay up, and the price is always right

genie of the check.

You may call me Sir Charge.

- What the fuck was in these drinks?

- Old Mello Yello and a leftover Zima.

- Oh. - Oh, yeah. That makes sense.

- Zima's weird. - Yeah.

- I'm sorry, are we not gonna acknowledge

that this blue nigga just popped out of the check?

- In the history of the world,

there has never been a group of Black people

who have split a check with such precision!

- What?

You mean never-ever?

- Even the real women from "Hidden Figures" couldn't

calculate the correct appetizer shared ratio.

[chuckles]

- Well, just call me Bobby Brown,

'cause I'm doing that new addition.

[laughter]

- And due to your numerical dexterity,

I will grant ya one wish.

- Wait. Get the fuck outta here.

- As you wish.

all: No!

- I'm sorry.

That's not what I meant.

- Very well.

Because you finally released me from me prison,

I'll let that one slide.

But from now on, you must choose your words wisely,

because once your wish is granted,

you don't get another. - Okay.

- I'm sorry, there's a genie-- [scoffs]

In Outback?

Steakhouse.

- I know, right?

You'd think he'd be at Spago's.

Anyway, how 'bout you guys take one for the team

and we use the wish to get me my dream man?

- Okay, uh-uh. You being selfish, okay?

We need to wish for something

that's good for all of us, okay?

How 'bout...

rain that doesn't mess up our hair?

- Oh, that's a good idea! - I'm down. Bet.

- That's not for all of us.

Precipitation and my Boris Kodjoe

get along just fine, so y'all need to learn how to wish.

See, that's what's wrong with y'all females, man.

all: Females?

- I wish a nigga would call us females again!

- No, no, no! That's a wish!

- Oh! - Oh, you're good.

I may be blue, but I am a Black genie.

So I'm very familiar with the wish/would exception.

[bell rings]

- We really gonna talk about wishes,

we should wish for my favorite pair of Jays

in every single colorway, past and future,

and for my album to go platinum.

- What album?

- Eh, every nigga got a album.

- Every nigga got an album. - Yeah.

- How 'bout we wish for no kids?

Don't tell my kids.

- Well, it is Bernice's birthday,

so if we're not gonna get me Reginald VelJohnson,

we might as well get her her little wish.

[laughter] - That's fair.

- Hey, no kids works for me.

- Yes!

- Very well.

[neck cracks]

- Wait!

We didn't sing "Happy Birthday" to our girl.

- Oh. - Everybody?

all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday-- ♪ - Oh!

You don't sing the Stevie version?

[chuckling] Oh...

Your wish is revoked!

all: No! [dramatic music]

- No! This is your fault! - Yeah. Good job, Tony.

- You're the one that made us start singing!

- Now I have to keep my kids! - Now she has to keep her kids!

- Well, that's on you. You shouldn't have had the kids.

- No, it's on you. - No, it's on you.

- Oh, it's on me? - Yeah, it's on you.

- I'm not the daddy of them kids.

[quirky upbeat music]

- Man, this whole thing fell apart.

- I know. I'm sad they're leaving, too.

- I mean, maybe we can fix this.

- I don't think we can.

Sometimes, you just gotta throw the whole thing away.

- You and I are the reasonable ones.

If you think about it, Ashley's the one who created

all this drama with the whole president thing.

♪ ♪

Ashley, you and I are the reasonable ones.

And really, Robin's the one who created all this drama.

You should do another one of those smart speeches

we all love and get the crew back together.

- [scoffs] I already tried to educate these people.

There's only such much I can do.

[sighs] I didn't leave room for food.

But I'm not leaving Ta-Nehisi Coates behind.

The new world will have critical race theory

and beautiful prose.

- Girl, you can have books and food if you stay.

It'll be like one of those cute, little cafés.

Let's go talk to Gabrielle.

You know she doesn't actually want to be president.

She's basically, like, allergic to responsibility.

Am I right?

[soft dramatic music]

Gabrielle, you're, like, the most responsible person here.

I mean, wine-based currency? Genius.

You can totally be the one to convince everyone

that the smartest thing to do is stay.

- Huh.

I really should've learned

how to make wine before the end of the world.

Oh, well. I will just have to carry as much as I can.

- Come on, do you really think that's practical?

You should absolutely just stay here.

- [chuckles] Wow, wow.

I just keep having to save y'all from y'all selves.

[scoffs] Her duplicitous ass

has been doublespeaking this whole time.

Y'all don't hear that? It's mad echoey in here.

She lyin', lyin', lyin'.

- Robin, just stop.

"Stop, stop, stop."

- Ladies, enough!

It is far too early for us to be losing our minds.

We have to look out for each other.

We have to have each other's backs.

We're all we got. It's just us.

- Oh, word, Melania? We stealing speeches now?

I gave that exact, same speech...

in my dream.

[quirky upbeat music]

[soft classical music]

- Brandy sings first. She brought the boy up.

You don't do that if you're the side chick.

That's wifely positioning.

The boy is indeed hers.

[bell rings]

- Brilliant final argument, Phoebe.

Temi, your turn.

- Monica also said, "What we have, you can't take."

Have, possession. Nine-tenths of the law.

It appears, then,

that Monica was in the possession of the boy

at the time of recording.

[bell rings] - Mm!

You've both made excellent final arguments.

But see, I'm still unsure as to whom the boy belongs.

And despite my pending brunch plans,

I also couldn't determine a clear winner

in our previous rounds, uh,

sugar versus salt in grits,

uh, Biggie versus Tupac,

and Vicks Vapo-Rub versus

all of Western medicine.

So we're gonna move along to the final tiebreaker round

and you all will be taking on

the greatest Black debate ever.

- I've been waiting my whole life for this.

- We're coming for that W.

- For this final round,

there is only one correct answer.

And a reminder that my brunch starts at 2:00.

- That's just lunch.

- Uh?

Somebody don't want a scholarship.

[stifled laughter]

Okay, ladies, please have your representatives

come to the podium.

Okay, here we go.

Actor Denzel Washington won an Academy Award for Best Actor

in 2001 for his role as Detective Alonzo Harris

in "Training Day," technically.

But we all know that was an apology Oscar

for all the times he didn't win and he should have.

Please make a case for the role Denzel should've won for.

- Oh, that's money!

- And you can't say "Malcolm X."

- Wow.

My aunties just slap-boxed over this very debate last week.

- Miriam, you're first. Go.

- Cool.

Y'all gonna love this. Watch me work.

Denzel Washington,

legendary thespian and king of Blacks,

should've won the Oscar for... [suspenseful energetic music]

Damn. What's it called?

Uh, you know it.

What's the one where he's like, really fine in?

- All of them?

- Yes, but he's fine in the past in this one.

You know, it's a period piece.

He's serving that mid-century drip.

- Oh, oh, "The Great Debaters." - Hey!

- She can't just call out.

This is a debate, not "Family Feud."

- If this is gonna get us to a clear winner

as soon as possible, I'll allow it.

- Okay, what's the one with the racism?

- Oh, um, "Remember the Titans."

- No, racism plus mustache.

Come on. You know it.

Remember we watched it at your house

that time we had to babysit your little cousin

'cause her daddy was gonna be home late from work

and we was eating Bagel Bites

and we was watching a movie and I was watching and I was like,

"Damn, Denzel look mad fine in these post-war clothes."

And you were like, "Eh, I prefer modern."

And I was like, "[clicks tongue]

He look fine no matter what." Remember?

- You remember all that

but you don't remember the name of the movie?

- Oh! "Devil in a Blue Dress!"

- "Devil in a Blue Dress."

That's where I got my suspenders fetish.

[bell rings]

- [sighs] Natalia, it's your turn.

- It is of my opinion that Mr. Denzel Washington,

esteemed actor,

should've won for his performance

in not "Malcolm X," but a different Spike Lee joint

and it is called...

[drumming on table] Oh, my God.

Damn, what is it called?

- Uh, "Flight"?

- No. That's not it.

- Uh, uh, "The Color Purple"? - Hey, she's cheating!

She has IMDb open!

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

You have IMDb open and you didn't even know

Denzel is not in "The Color Purple"?

I should deduct a point for that.

- [huffs]

- Can we please move forward

so I can give two of y'all a scholarship

and get out of here?

- Okay, Denzel Washington has played many a character,

but the role for which he should've won an Oscar

is one that we all thoroughly enjoy.

It is where he played

a military man who had immense rage

and quiet sensitivity all in one body!

- Ha!

He already won a supporting Oscar for "Glory."

Disqualified!

- "The Equalizer."

The Oscar should've gone to Denzel for "The Equalizer."

- An impressive argument,

and one with which I can find no fault.

- Ah!

- Except for the fact that

that film came out 13 years after "Training Day."

The correct answer is the character

of Detective John Hobbs in the 1998 film, "Fallen."

- Are you serious? "Fallen"?

- Aww.

Oh, look at your fallen faces.

That's what you get for taking too long.

I'm out!

Only got paid $25 for this, anyway.

Where's my mimosa?

[old-school hip-hop music]

- Okay, see, see, look.

I can pick any song from my library

and play it over that wireless speaker system.

- The government is using Sonos speakers to spy on us!

Look it up!

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Ooh, girl!

Why you look so tired? You sick?

What you got, that, uh, global warming?

- I'm not about to do this with you today, Ma.

- When you gonna stop playing around with that natural stuff

and get yourself a perm like you've got some sense?

- When you get some hair that don't come with tags, Aunt Bev.

- Ooh, you gain weight? You look fat.

- You're losing weight! You're wasting away!

- Well, I think you look amazing, babe.

- Who asked you?

If she look so amazing, why don't you marry her?

You been shacking up with my daughter for five years.

[Bell Big DeVoe's "Poison" starts playing]

♪ ♪

- Oh, I'm sorry, y'all.

I'm still trying to work this sound system.

- Ooh, you know I love me some "Poison."

- Michael Bivins finger-popped me at the Food Mart

back in '89, so you know I got to dance

whenever I hear "Poison."

- Watch out now, Grandma Ruby! Looking good!

- Are you still going to that non-denominational,

service-is-only-two-hours, come-as-you-are church?

- No.

- I can tell you weren't covered by the blood.

Didn't even cover your neck.

Out here dressed like the Devil's mistress.

- [claps] You know what--

[Bell Big DeVoe's "Poison" starts playing]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Girl, I must warn you ♪

♪ I sense something stra-- ♪

- Whoo-hoo! Y'all better stop it.

Just stop it!

This song got me out here acting all worldly and whatnot.

You know I'm celibate!

Can't let the government get my DNA.

- Hey, yo, Detric! Good to see you!

- Oh, what's up?

- I didn't think you was gonna make it.

- Oh, word? - Yeah.

- What you say that for?

- 'Cause the last time I seen him,

he was with this bad shorty

at PF Chang's happy hour last week.

I mean, shorty was stacked like Legos!

Shorty was thicker than frozen grits!

God damn, my nigga! Yeah!

- I'm sorry. What shorty?

[Bell Big DeVoe's "Poison" starts playing]

♪ ♪

Stop, Detric! What shorty?

- Ooh, boy, you are in trouble.

[Bell Big DeVoe's "Poison" starts playing]

[both grunting]

♪ ♪

- Stop, boy. - We know what you doin'!

- Quit playing the beginning of "Poison"

and answer my question, negro! - Fine.

I'll answer your question when you explain to me

why I found a lease agreement in your purse last week!

When were you gonna tell me you were moving out?

- Huh? What?

[Bell Big DeVoe's "Poison" starts playing]

♪ ♪

- Y'all play too much! - I never liked him!

- I'll whoop all of y'all's asses!

[Frankie Beverly & Maze's "Before I Let Go"]

[cheers]

That's good, damn.

♪ ♪

- That's right, y'all! One, two! Whoo!

- Whoo!

♪ ♪

- Whoo!

♪ ♪

[cheering]

♪ ♪

- Ha!

You know, it used to be called Uncle Wendell and Maze,

but I realized there was more money

in aluminum siding. [chuckles]

- ♪ You made me happy ♪

[cheering]

- That's it! Yeah!

- ♪ This you can bet ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You stood right beside me ♪

- What the fuck, Skye? How did you know I said that?

- I didn't! Those were my words.

My original words.

- They were good words.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is nuts.

- I can't let her go out there by herself.

Uh, I'll miss you all.

- [groans] I'll miss you guys, too.

[clicks tongue]

- Oh, man. That sounds tough.

Is that tough for you guys?

- Man, I'm so not ready to lose y'all.

- ♪ This song's dedicated ♪

♪ To my homies ♪

♪ In that gangsta lean ♪

all: ♪ Why'd you have to go ♪

♪ So soon? ♪

- ♪ It seems like yesterday ♪

♪ We were hanging... ♪

all: ♪ 'Round the hood ♪

♪ Now I'm-- ♪ [laptop startup chime]

- What the shit?

[gasps]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

Oh, God!

Somebody's fuckin' watching us!

And why's Ashley subject number one?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I have thought about joining OnlyFans, uh,

but not to get naked.

Just to read...scriptures.

- Were you inspired by Omarion?

Do you go, "[inhales through teeth] Ahh!"

when you get braided?

[bright tone]

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