Original subtitles

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

- Your girl finna warm up these leftovers.

- Girl, why you act like food don't go bad?

It does.

- Well, excuse me, Ms. Subway,

but some of us don't have time to eat fresh every day.

- You know I have to cook every night

just in case my man, Reggie, pops up.

That's why I'm always buying shellfish.

You know, I saw he posted on Instagram

he likes to eat shrimp and stuff, so--

- First of all, he's not your man.

He belongs to the streets.

You gotta set some boundaries.

I wish a nigga would pop up at my house unexpected.

- Girl, he can eat all my food,

but you know that's not all he be eating.

I'm talking about box. - Bump that.

I don't care how good the dick is.

I wish a nigga would eat up all my food.

- Mm-mm.

- [screams]

Get the fuck out of my house!

- What do you mean? You invited me.

Just now, when you said, "I wish a nigga would

pop up in my house unexpected."

And then, you said, "I wish a nigga would

eat up all my food."

- Nigga, what? - I ain't say nothing.

[comical music]

♪ ♪

- You expect me to believe you pop up

every time somebody says, "I wish a nigga would"?

- I said what I said.

- Ooh! Who you talking to?

I wish a nigga would be up in my house talking crazy to me.

- The Earth is flat!

Tofu's better than chicken.

French rolls are making a comeback.

Free Wi-Fi! That little nigga's innocent!

You and Ginuwine got the same baby hair,

and y'all adults.

- Oh, you got jokes, huh?

Don't bring my edges into this.

Is this a prank? Huh?

Is somebody pranking me, huh?

Where the cameras at?

Oh, I wish a nigga would try to play me right now.

- Oh, you want to play?

I brought "Uno", "Sorry!",

and dominoes in a Crown Royal bag.

- What the f-- okay, how about this?

How about I wish a nigga would get the fuck up out my house?

- Mm-mm. Nah, it don't work like that.

You gotta believe that shit down in your gut

for it to happen.

Try this:

I wish a nigga would

get the fuck up out my house!

- I wish a nigga would get the fuck up out my house!

- You gotta lean into it. See, you're doing this.

[nasally] "I wish a nigga would get the fuck up out my house."

- How about, I wish a nigga would

get the fuck up out my house? - I didn't believe it.

- Oh, what? You "The Secret" now?

- Quiet as it's kept. - Oh, this nigga here.

[scoffs]

- Here?

Or here?

- If you don't get your Hood-dini ass

up out my house--

- Ooh, you almost had it. You ain't say "nigga," though.

- Oh, we playing "Nigga Simon Says" now?

That's what we doing?

[scoffs]

Latreice, you still there?

- Jamaica, what's going on over there?

I was about to call the police,

but then, I didn't because I was listening.

- Girl, you will not believe this.

There's a nigga in my kitchen, and I cannot get him to leave!

- Well, girl, just tell him you went to a HWCU.

- Nah, he on some "Beetlejuice" shit,

talking about I gotta believe my words to get him to leave.

This nigga trippin'.

- Fuck that. He don't even sound fine.

I wish a non-Reggie nigga

would just pop up in my house unannounced.

Couldn't be me.

[screams] Uh-uh.

There's a non-Reggie nigga in my house!

- Ooh, you know what? I gotta go, girl.

My phone's dying. I'ma call you back, okay?

Bye! - Jamaica!

Well, anyway, how are you, sir?

You like shrimp?

- ♪ Here's a little story 'bout a raw-ass bitch ♪

♪ That'll take yo' man like she take that dick ♪

♪ She got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one ♪

♪ She like strapped street niggas ♪

♪ Who gon' run them funds ♪

♪ I got a gang of bitches who gon' see 'bout me ♪

♪ Quick to run up in your shit, ho, one, two, three ♪

♪ Selling out 'bout me, I still remain untouched ♪

♪ I just walk through them hos and drop my nuts ♪

♪ Your baby daddy fell in love, I just wanted to fuck ♪

♪ I just wanted the cash, all he wanted was us ♪

♪ Take a blunt to the face while he rubbing my butt ♪

♪ Countin' money in my panties ♪

♪ That shit give me rush ♪

♪ And be like ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Get a bag, make 'em mad ♪

♪ Bitch, you bad ♪

♪ Go, girl, with your fine ass ♪

♪ Make a mess, leave 'em pressed ♪

♪ You the best, let me see you do it ♪

♪ Just fly with it, just vibe with it ♪

♪ Talk to your homegirl, high-five with me ♪

♪ Let me see you do it ♪

♪ Zip with it, 'cause you ain't trip with it ♪

♪ I do it halfway, now put your hips in it ♪

♪ Let me see you do it ♪

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Okay.

Enough wallowing. - It's only been an hour.

I'm still in the first stage of grief.

Denial.

No, I'm not.

- We just found out everyone on Earth is dead.

- No, we just confirmed

that everyone on Earth is dead.

- Well, to be fair, I did that in my Facebook invite

when I told you all it was the end of the world.

- You also said BYOB,

and I'm the only one who B-ed.

- Okay, ladies, let's leave the past in the past.

You know what they say.

- "Today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."

- "Don't cry over spilled milk."

- "It takes two to tango."

- That doesn't make any sense.

- Right, 'cause there's five of us.

- Look, we are Black women.

Strong Black women.

And yes, that is a damaging trope

that has led many to believe

that we don't need love and care,

and yes, I did write a paper on the use of said trope

from the advent of television to today.

My professor praised it by calling it "long."

The point is,

we've had to be strong our whole lives.

From the moment you sat between your mother's legs

to get your hair done,

and that shitty comb broke off in your tangles,

to every time you got passed over for love,

promotion, or prestige

simply because of the color of your skin.

We started off strong,

and we've only gotten stronger.

That is why we survived.

That's why we were meant to survive.

That's why I can give

Shonda-level speeches.

So tighten up, ladies.

We have a world to rebuild

in our own image.

We were made to be gods.

So yeah, bad news, everyone else on Earth is dead,

but good news,

we're here.

And I'm your next president.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Hmm. Wait, what? - What the fuck?

- Classic Ashley.

[school bell rings]

- Here's your change.

Now go on! Sit down somewhere!

[dramatic music]

[ringside bell dings]

- It may be 1992,

but today, we're taking you back to 1982.

Welcome to "Sit Down Somewhere: Classic,"

TV's number one lunchtime competition show.

I'm Kimber Zak.

- And I'm Neesha Carver.

Kimber, I am ecstatic joining you

as your partner tonight, and when I say "partner,"

I mean that in every way possible.

- And when I say "I have a wife,"

I mean that, in every way possible.

Hey, tonight, we've got a her-storic episode for you,

so grab your Big League Chew, your Teddy Ruxpin,

your Barbie who's not yet Black,

and settle in 10 years ago

with this "Sit Down Somewhere: Classic" match.

- Let's meet our contestants.

- Representing the away team, it's 14-year-old Ceecee.

Now, this is Ceecee's first day of high school,

so she'll be looking to win acceptance, friendships,

and to rid herself of the junior high nickname,

"Weewee Ceecee."

- Her opponents today are the students

of Penny FromGoodTimes High School.

- Well, she's gonna be having a bad time

if she can't score a seat at the right table for lunch.

As we all know, the key to surviving the next four years

is cliquing with the right clique.

- That's right, Kimber. The rules are simple.

Ceecee must navigate a gauntlet of crews

and be invited to join one

and sit at their table all before the lunch bell rings.

- How come I don't see your feet moving?

Sit down somewhere!

[ringside bell dings] - And we're off!

Now, here Ceecee goes with her opening move.

She darts left, she darts right.

But it looks like all those kids are much bigger than her.

Her form looks very good.

I gotta say, she's in top physical condition.

Oh, man, this is my favorite part!

Now, she's looking from table to table.

Where is she gonna go?

Uh-oh!

Looks like Ceecee's going for the easy win,

heading straight for the chess champ, Elgin,

at the nerd's table.

I mean, this is a real gimme here.

Neesha, I expected more.

- Actually, it's a bold move for Ceecee.

She knows good and damn well

she don't know how to play chess.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

King me. [buzzer buzzes]

- Uh-oh,

rejected by the plankton of the high school ecosystem.

That is embarrassing, and I did not see that coming.

- Using a rook like a checker?

Now, that's a rook-ie mistake.

- Ha, nice!

- Girl, this ain't stand-up lunch.

It's sit-down lunch.

Now, you need to sit down somewhere!

[ringside bell dings] - Uh-oh!

Here comes a blitz.

An unexpected obstacle in the form of a goth.

- This is Blade's fifth attempt

at a first-day friend acquisition.

But Ceecee knows teaming up with a solo goth

on the heels of a nerd rejection

would make her so lame,

even lying about being cousins with Kurtis Blow

wouldn't save her.

Kimber, what's your play here?

- Yeah, Neesha, when I was in this exact same position

in my playing days, I--

look at that spin!

Oh, that is a pro move right there.

Impressive.

- Fun fact: that move is what inspired the electric slide.

- It is, indeed, electric.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Hey! Sit down somewhere!

Ow! Made me hurt my wrist.

- Wow, man, I hate that lunch lady.

But she runs a tight ship. [chuckles]

[hip-hop music plays] Uh-oh!

Ceecee's gonna have to bring her A-game

if she wants to land a seat at the cool kids' table,

led by Loose Limbs Luther.

- Another fun fact: Loose Limbs went on to be cast

in "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo,"

but sadly, a nasty cardboard cut ended his career.

♪ ♪

- Oh! Hey, look at this.

Ceecee's got the invite. Wow!

Holy cow! That's embarrassing.

Loose Limbs Luther was actually waving over

the fast-ass girl behind Ceecee.

[laughter]

Oh, come on, Ceecee. You can do better than that.

This is a real last-ditch effort

at trying to sit at this table.

Frankly, I'm just embarrassed.

- [screams]

students: Oh, snap! [buzzer buzzes]

- "Oh, snap" is right, Kimber.

- Oh, how humiliating for Ceecee.

You know, the last thing we should do here

is show that again,

but let's see it again in slow motion.

- [screams in slow motion]

- Oh, man! That's a tough one.

You know, it was humiliating enough

to see it in slow motion.

Let's do it again from another angle.

- [screams]

- Now, let's see if it's less upsetting from the back angle.

- [screams]

- Nope, just as upsetting.

- This is one "Sit Down Somewhere: Classic"

that is very close to my heart.

- How so?

- Because I'm that little girl--

- Aren't we all?

Hey, join us-- - No, I am Ceecee.

Neesha is my middle name.

I got out of the game

after that breakdancing incident went wrong.

I never ate in a cafeteria again.

And I've been standing ever since!

- Well, please...

Sit down somewhere.

This has been a classic episode of "Sit Down Somewhere."

Good night.

That was really you?

- Yeah...

[mellow music]

- Simone, girl.

So I looked his pet owl in the eye, and I said,

"Who you think you talking to?"

- I know that's right, Keema!

- My thing is this: don't have me looking around for you,

like you Waldo, okay?

By the way, a cut and buff is extra.

So I was like, "Nah, where you at?

'Cause I'm grown." - Okay.

Don't be out here clocking for me like I'm a child.

I'm good on the cut and buff.

And, girl, you know I gotta tell you, he's crazy.

- I know, but peep this: the next day,

me and his sister went to Chili's,

and she asked to try my steak.

A cuticle treatment's an extra dollar per nail.

- Uh-uh, if I'm paying these Chili prices,

you cannot taste my steak, and also,

I'm good on the cuticle cleanup.

- Okay, but tell me why just last week,

this bitch claimed to be a vegan?

Your cuticles really could use the treatment.

But I'm like, girl, commit to a dietary structure.

- Right, it's too many "I don't eat that" categories out there.

And no on the cuticles.

And it's like, you're either hungry, or you're not.

- Exactly, I hate that shit. I just go by flexitarian.

Because I am flexible with my choices or whatever.

But did you want a soak? 'Cause if so,

that is $2 on top of the lotion fee, which is $3 per pop.

Anyway, I went ahead and cut her a steak sliver.

But just the fatty part. - Okay, flexitarian is smart.

'Cause you can dibble and dabble judgment-free.

I washed my hands before I got here,

and I got that good lotion at home, so I'm good on that.

Was the steak tender, though?

- Girl, what? So tender.

But mind you, I was just there with Tevin a few weeks back,

so I had to pretend like it was my first time.

But anyway, what shape did you want?

Coffin is 5, stiletto is 8, and basic square is $10.

But I was like, I played that off.

- I did that same shit when the last Marvel movie came out.

I let my nigga, Marcus, take me to see it--

leave my nails whatever shape they in now--

and then, my nigga, Hakim, took me too!

- Ah, them niggas is as thirsty as your nail bed!

Now, if you want tips, that's gonna be $12 per finger.

But you know, those movies, they are cinematic!

- They are so cinematic-- no tips for you or my nails--

but all I'm saying is, Black Widow should've been played

by a Black woman or a spider. - Facts!

So boom, then I go down to the new farmer's market.

You been down there?

They got those international marinades that I love.

Any new nail design is gonna be $8 per squiggle,

and for rhinestones, I charge $10 per rhine.

You be marinating? - Only when my man is mad.

No to the rhinestones and/or the designs.

Yes to the marinades!

What else they got down there, though?

- Mm, girl, I went down there to grab me some spices

from East Asia, then I ran into my cousin.

I was like, "Bitch!

Yada, yada, yada. Whoopsie-whoop."

Ombre is gonna be $36 for a gradient stroke.

Thumbs are double.

But then she kept wrapping me up, talking about

some blahzady-blah, and I was like, "Girl, what?"

- Hell no to the ombre, but what was your cousin doing

at the farmer's market? Y'all some organic Black folks.

If I eat gluten, my toe swells. - Girl, that's gout.

But quiet as it's kept-- top coat polish is $88--

but that market had everything!

Take your swollen toe and go on down there

and get you something-something, girl.

And your total is 312.75.

- Shit, I'ma go on Saturday.

And I'm not paying you a dime over $80

'cause all you did was file my nails.

Bye, girl! - You got it, boo!

It's $5 for the wave goodbye. - I'm good!

- Before the apocalypse,

I was an investment banker by day,

and a thot by night.

What was the question?

- Why should you be president?

- Oh! Mm!

Mm-hmm!

The most important thing when starting a new society

is money.

Okay, so I propose

a wine-based currency

where the labels are your paper money,

your caps are your coins.

Corks? Silver dollars.

And would you look at that?

I got all of the money.

So I will keep us in the black

while drinking the red.

Hmm!

- Robin, 20 seconds.

- What the fuck? Okay.

Uh, well, I'm an excellent planner,

some would say, a visionary.

I have a solid plan for the MREs.

I can take that Tuscan beef and stretch it for months.

- [whining] Objection, Your Honor!

You faint at the slightest challenge.

- That is not...

I'm fine.

- You sure?

'Cause you're giving "I need a Luna bar."

Low-blood-sugar-having ass.

- Hey, you're the moderator! Moderate your mouth.

- I should be president

because I was the first to recognize a power vacuum

and declare myself president.

- Yes, come through!

With an actual platform.

- Well, I've already established

my presidential library.

- Okay, well, I think you have to have a presidency

before you can have a presidential library.

- Okay, fine, but let the record reflect,

I am still the smartest.

- Let the record reflect, Gabrielle is the scariest.

- And I will rule with an iron "flist."

- Okay, well, I'm a natural-born leader,

so I don't know why we're still talking about it.

- Oh, and I'm not even a fucking option?

[laughter] - What?

- Laci. Laci!

- No. - That's so cute!

- Why wouldn't it be me?

I am at the peak of my athletic prowess.

I am clever, yet approachable--

- Don't forget cute. - Thank you, Skye!

You know--you know, you guys never take me seriously.

And you need to put some respect on my name.

- Oh, wow. - Sorry, Laci.

- Respect? [snorts]

- So does that mean you want to run for president then?

- Nah, I'm good.

[overlapping chatter]

- This is about to change your life.

- You've been talking about it for a minute.

[cheers and applause]

- Karlie Chanel

is a marketing guru,

business mogul, author,

speaker, life coach,

motivationalist, inspirationalist,

SHE-E-O,

TV personality, and domestic traveler.

Dynamic. Powerful. Motivate.

Ladies, please welcome

Ms. Karlie Chanel!

[cheers and applause]

- Whoo! Karlie!

- Did she just bring herself out?

- Sabrina, I am so excited.

I stopped buying the good shampoo

and started using those hotel bottles

just so I could afford these tickets.

- Okay, I'm sorry, but what exactly

does Black Barbie do again, Latise?

- You heard her bio.

She's an inspirationalist,

and a motivationalist.

- Oh.

You're welcome.

Oh, ladies.

I have coached hundreds of women

just like you

on how to...

tap into their greatness.

There it is. There's the greatness.

[cheers and applause] Oh!

And today, I am honored

to deliver my message.

"Aspire higher.

"[shouts] Live louder.

"[softly] Fail quieter.

"[normally] Be you.

"Rules of the Road on Your Journey to Success

While Maximizing Your Full Potential."

[cheers and applause]

- "Maximize...

my full potential."

- You just wrote that down?

She just used a bunch of words, but didn't say shit.

Who is she? T.I.? - Shh!

- It is imperative

that you discover the discomfort zone,

which exists in the gap

that must be explored

between what is and what can...

ultimately become!

- Yes, sis, yes! [cheers and applause]

- I need to talk to you.

Okay, first, it was your brother's Herbalife seminar.

- Mm-hmm. - Then, you dragged me

to that circus clown meetup group.

You have been inviting me on some wild-ass shit

the last couple of weeks.

Is--is this a cry for help?

- What--hush! Pay attention.

- Now, as I say in my book,

"Conquering the Art of Conquering Through Conquering,"

"Dream. Dare. Do.

Be you!"

- I will! I will do that!

- Girl, how many ways

are you gonna let Phony Braxton scam you?

- Now, ladies,

as you know,

the journey to the self

requires sacrifice

and dedication.

- Mm-hmm.

[audience murmuring]

- It's time...

[soft dramatic music]

To ignite your inner and outer self.

- What?

- Who is ready

for their soul

to be set on fire?

- I am!

[cheers and applause]

- In hell!

[dramatic music]

- Hell?

- Whoo! [giggles]

♪ ♪

- Ladies,

leave your purses on your chair

and come burn away

the demons of self-doubts!

- [screams, growls]

- Latise! The fuck are you doing?

- Oh, I like this shirt. I don't want it to burn.

- I don't want you to burn!

- Sabrina, lean in to it.

Be brave. Be bold.

Be you! - Okay.

This is enough.

You have gone full-on batshit crazy.

Lose my number and never talk to me again!

- Yes, my Karliebelles.

[cackling] Yes!

Revel in that cleansing fire!

Yes!

- Whew.

That was so much easier than telling her

I didn't wanna be in her wedding.

- Yes!

[sinister music]

- I pulled out your nose hairs

one-by-one,

and you barely even flinched!

Show me some hurt, damn it!

- [grunts] Nice try, Kid Cudi.

I have fibroids the size of cantaloupes.

I have slept through worse pain.

- [screams]

[purse creaks]

- [gasps]

[whimpers] - Huh.

Saul, how could you forget?

- No, wait. What are you doing?

Don't you know you're never supposed to touch

a Black woman's purse? Hold on, what are you--

- Now that I have your attention,

I'm gonna tell you a little story.

[dramatic musical sting] - [gasps]

[screams] No!

Don't set it on the floor!

My money's gonna go out the door.

- One day,

I asked about my refund check

in the financial aid office.

[dramatic musical sting]

The lady told me to come back next week,

just as she did...

Every. Week. Before.

- [softly] Stop.

- But this day,

I took it exceptionally hard!

- [screams]

- [laughs maniacally]

- You put your hand in my bag, I turn into an old hag.

- Yeah! Yeah!

- Your hand in my clutch, I have bad luck.

That didn't rhyme, but you know what I mean.

[gasps, whimpers]

My lip stuff!

[wails]

- You zip your dehydrated lips!

Anyway,

I left her office in tears,

and you recorded me!

- What?

Oh, shit.

You're my pinned tweet.

Wow. - You made me a meme!

And now I'm in a support group with Antoine Dodson,

Sweet Brown, and this lady!

- I had no idea it would go viral.

It's not my fault it struck a chord with Chrissy Teigen!

Please.

- [grunts]

- Are you okay, baby?

- Nacie, this guy is crazy!

- Oh, that's the dude from the meme!

"But it's my money!"

- Nacie, untie me. - Hold on.

Why's your purse on the floor?

- I know. It's such bad juju.

- Why's your purse on the floor!

[dramatic musical sting]

- What? What happened?

- You fucked up.

So we stole all your basketball shorts

and hoodies.

- Now you gonna have to collect your Postmates

in jeans, like a bitch!

- [gasps] But it's my hoodie!

- I'm tired of having this argument.

I'm the only one who has a political science degree.

I'm the only one who has any common sense.

- Okay, well, I'm not voting for Ashley

'cause she doesn't even want it.

She just thinks she'd look cute on money, which, fair.

- I'd make it rain Ashleys.

- After careful thought,

I'm still voting for me.

- Okay, well, all disrespect, you'd be terrible.

- Ooh! - You would just sell us out

for a man or a Moscato, whichever came first.

- Hopefully me.

- See, she's too horny to be president!

- Or exactly horny enough. Mm-hmm.

- Robin, admit it.

You are jealous that Skye came up with a plan to save us,

and that no one went to an imaginary house

that you "dreampt" about.

Great, now you all have me saying "dreampt."

- Wow, yeah. You know what?

I am, 'cause you know where I'm president?

My fly-ass, apocalypse-proof house.

And I know you all don't believe me,

but it is real, okay?

And guess who's going back there?

Me and only me! [laughs]

So good luck surviving without the cool one!

- [yawns]

- Jasmine, what the hell?

How are you still here?

You missed Essence Fest.

Mary J. Blige performed with a hologram of Mary J. Blige.

- Hologram, what?

I could've sworn I haven't been here that long, Vanessa.

My appointment was at 8:00... - [scoffs]

- Last Thursday.

Dang, my boss probably fired me, huh?

- Probably. And you should fire your triflin' stylist.

So let's do what she couldn't, and make tracks.

- Okay. - Yep, let's go.

Come on.

- Oh, my pre-stretched hair!

- Queens.

Welcome to Wigzard of Oz.

I'm Gigi, the owner.

My store is like hip-hop in the '90s.

You can sample anything you want.

- A warm welcome? Free samples?

Am I white here? - No!

- At Wigzard of Oz,

it is our mission to give every Black woman

the full-service beauty experience she deserves.

- And girl, they don't even play Christian music here

to put the fear of God in you so you don't steal.

- Christian music never stopped anyone from doing wrong.

My pastor's mistress told me that.

Notice our shampoo and conditioner sets

are proportional to usage. - What?

- Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.

- And all of our synthetic wigs are made from premium fibers

that do not matte or tangle.

- Mm, they all say that,

and then I end up out here tumbleweedin' in these streets.

- Well, ours are different.

Take Margaret over there.

See her wig? - Ooh.

- That can't be a wig.

- Same one she had on during the L.A. Riots.

- Stop. Oh! - Mm-hmm.

- Margaret! You look good, girl.

- Also, our stylists start every appointment on time.

- Stop lying.

What if I'm late?

- Send your hair ahead of time, of course.

- Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh!

[whimsical music]

♪ ♪

[gasps] - I mean...

- Dang. Make it make sense, Ms. Gigi.

Did you go to Hogwarts?

- No.

Howard. - Mm-hmm.

So, Jas, look.

They even have curling irons that don't burn.

Come on. Put it on your forehead.

- Girl, I am not putting a hot-ass curling iron

on my forehead, okay? - Put it on your forehead.

- I'm not putting-- - Put it on your--ah.

- Look at God.

- Look at her.

- How did-- - [scoffs]

That ain't nothing but Gods!

Nothing but Gods! [squeals]

- Is this what you had in mind?

- [sighs] - [chuckles]

- This is amazing!

I have never gotten exactly what I wanted before.

Thank you, Ms. Gigi. - You're welcome.

- Ooh, I look good. - You do.

- I gotta put this on the 'Gram.

[camera shutter clicks]

Oh, my gosh.

I am already getting so many likes.

- Well-- - I have not gotten this many

likes since I posted some random girl's sonogram

with the caption "big news."

[laughs]

They just keep coming in.

- Of course. - See?

[upbeat music stops]

- You ain't tag me?

[dramatic musical sting]

- [gasps]

No!

No! No!

- Jasmine, I'ma go get something else to eat.

These chicken tenders taste like cigarettes.

Give me, like, four hours.

- Ms. Gigi?

Oh...

Jumbo conditioners? [crying]

Oh, magical hair?

[inhales, exhales]

[sinister music]

[skin sizzles] No!

- You got Michael Jordan pride face sneaks.

You got on some long sleeve drawers.

- Well, hopefully she slides into a better group.

- I'd love to slide in something myself.

- Don't do it! - And when I say partner,

I mean it in every way possible.

I want to have sex with you. - No, no.

Oh, man, Neesha.

I thought we settled this with the restraining order.

Also, my wife hates you.

She wrote your name in blood on the ground

and lit it on fire.

Well, Neesha, first of all, my first play was Kurtis Blow.

[both laugh]

- I'd love to Kurtis Blow you.

- I knew you were gonna do it! I walked right into it.

[bright tone]

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