Original subtitles

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AMALIA TRUE: I see glimpses of the future.

NARRATOR: ...and big Hollywood hits?

-Woo! -(LAUGHS)

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NARRATOR:

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NARRATOR: Stream HBO and more.

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

[slurp]

[sighs]

[thinking] Okay, Tiffany, go to sleep.

Wait. Is my bonnet on?

Phew. Nice and tight.

But not too tight. I don't wanna leave a line.

Go to sleep.

I gotta remember to buy more Funyuns.

No. Sleep. Ha! I just got that: fun onions!

[chuckles] Sleep.

I could buy Funyuns

with money from my GoFundMe scam.

Ohh, I should really stop telling people

I have lupus.

I am a garbage person.

I've always been trash.

Remember in third grade when Casey Winters

stuttered one time and I called her MC Stammer?

Then for the rest of the year,

every time she raised her hand,

even the teacher would say, "Stop! Stammer time!"

Ohh, I wonder where Casey is now.

I'm a bully.

I used to sit behind Casey in class

and spray her elbows with water

and then tease her for being ashy.

My soul is ashy!

[whimpers] I deserve every bad thing

that has happened to me,

including not being able to grow eyebrows

yet somehow always having a moustache!

Enough!

[breathing heavily] Father God,

I know I haven't paid tithes in, like...

well, ever,

but please forgive me. I can't live like this.

I would give anything to go back

and apologize to Casey Winters from third grade.

[eerie chords]

- You can. Go ahead, apologize.

- What the fuck?!

- It's me, Casey Winters,

AKA, MC Stammer.

You said you wanted to apologize to me.

Well, here I am.

- I thought you were my conscience.

- You don't have one of those.

I've moved with you to every apartment

you've ever lived in.

I spent my entire life under your bed

just tormenting you.

- But I go to work during the day.

You didn't have to stay under the bed during the day.

- I-I don't-- This isn't about me, okay?

This is about you. You're a bully!

You ruined my life.

- I mean, I feel like you ruined your life

by staying under my bed since the third grade?

You could have made something of yourself by now.

Taye Diggs follows me on Twitter.

You're a loser.

- Oh, yeah, well, if I'm a loser,

then why is there an "Unsolved Mysteries" about me?

- Because your parents think you're missing!

There was a whole "True Crime" podcast about you too!

I know, I know. Obviously, KJ did not do it.

- Girl, he's been in jail for 13 years.

- That's on you. - Ha.

I feel like it isn't.

Look, I'm sorry if you feel like I "bullied you", but--

- Great!

An apology! That's all I wanted. Bye!

And get some concealer for those bags under your eyes,

you sleepy-ass motherfucker.

I'm out. The clerk at a grocery store

once said she didn't like my hair,

talkin' 'bout my box braids. [chortles]

I'm about to be up under her box spring.

[Tiffany groans in disgust]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Here's a little story 'bout a raw-ass bitch ♪

♪ That'll take yo' man like she take that dick ♪

♪ She got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one ♪

♪ She like strapped street niggas ♪

♪ Who gon' run them funds ♪

♪ I got a gang of bitches who gon' see 'bout me ♪

♪ Quick to run up in your shit, ho, one, two, three ♪

♪ Selling out 'bout me, I still remain untouched ♪

♪ I just walk through them hos and drop my nuts ♪

♪ Your baby daddy fell in love, I just wanted to fuck ♪

- Uhh--

[music stops]

- ♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Get a bag, make 'em mad ♪

♪ Bitch, you bad with your fine ass ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Make a mess, leave 'em crushed ♪

♪ You the best wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Get a bag, make 'em mad ♪

♪ Bitch, you bad with your fine ass ♪

♪ Go, girl, wit' yo' fine ass ♪

♪ Make a mess, leave 'em crushed ♪

♪ You the best, let me see you do it ♪

♪ Slide with it high with it, vibe with it ♪

♪ Talk to your homegirl, high-five with me ♪

♪ Let me see you do it, tip with it ♪

♪ Come get short with it, come get short with it ♪

♪ A'ight, do it, put your hip in there ♪

♪ Do it ♪

[music stops]

- I agree with Robin.

This heifer is suspish.

- Oh, uh-uh.

- Can we not call people cows?

- Okay! Fine.

I won't call her a cow.

[whispering] But I need to speak wit' you birds.

It is selfish of her to not do my hair.

It is the end of the world,

and we all have to pitch in somehow.

- How are you pitching in?

- By getting this woman to use her God-given gift

to lay my edges.

- When did she only have one gift?

I mean, right now, she's dealing with your slander

and bein' a whole-ass barista.

[coffee machine huffing]

- Fuck the coffee!

I have a confession.

I put conditioner in my hair this morning, guys.

But then Ashley said it'll make my hair radioactive.

My hair probably only has 15 minutes to live,

and this bitch, she talkin' 'bout "I'm out the game"!

- That part! - What is goin' on

with you two? Y'all are over here

playin' patty-cake, suspishin' Skye for no reason.

And now you have me saying it.

- Gabrielle, come on.

Skye has been down for us forever.

Who untangled your weave when we got kicked outta

"Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve"

with Ryan Seacrest?

- And who gave you 45 inches

when other stylists said your neck

only had the fortitude for 42?

Skye believed in you.

Now you tryin' to give her the big chop?

And as far as radioactive hair goes,

I would never present a problem without a solution.

I'll just shampoo it out.

- Points were made. Shots unfired.

- What? Now I'm the only one who's crazy

because I think this place is weird

and she has a secret?

- You're right. - [gasps]

I do have a secret.

[soft music]

[rhythm picks up]

- Welcome to the Coral Reef's annual corporate retreat

here at the Serenity Wellness Resort & Spa.

Blippity blippity.

all: Scat, scat, scat.

- As you know,

it's been a tough year in the banging industry.

Recruitment is down 27%

from our Prison-to-Reef pipeline.

Our Mergers & Acquisitions team,

they failed to gank real estate

from the Second Street Stabbers, and...

people thought that our drive-by mammogram mobile

was a food truck.

- So what you sayin' is our breast exams was...

a bust.

[laughter]

Stupid.

- You think early detection is a joke, Flop Wilson?

- Naw. - Not everybody has

premium healthcare like we do.

Your privilege is showin', buster.

Now, as I was sayin',

our morale is at an all-time low,

specially after we lost Shelly...

To Swing Left.

Congratulations to her

for makin' a difference in our democracy.

Blippity. - Scat, scat, scat.

- Now, what we gonna do here today

is we're gonna master some vital self-care techniques.

In so doing, we're gonna find ways

to achieve and maintain

a healthy work/life balance. Blippity.

- Scat. - I'm wit' it.

- I'ma 'bout to get centered like a muh-fucker.

- Now, what I want you all to do--

I want you to get into your Padmasana pose

with your palms facin' up.

And let's kill some mantras!

No disrespect to Tamra,

whose cousin Mantra was killed last week.

- Sorry for your lost. - 'Preciate you.

- Jess, you up. - Oh, okay, bet.

"I am...Becoming,"

by Michelle Obama.

[laughter]

- That's just the title of a book, nigga!

- Okay, I'm sorry.

Namaste, namaste.

[chuckling] - Now, you not

gonna say no more jokes, Ali Wrong,

'cause you 'bout to get shot...

- What? - Oh, no, no.

Come on! - Shot-a wheatgrass!

- But them's is bitter, though.

- No, what's bitter...

is your low iron causin' our high customer attrition.

So get to sippin'.

- Blippity.

- Shanedra. Proud of you, home.

Yeah, you takin' your performance review to heart!

But I asked...

for your mantra!

So since you just wanna be a mark

and sit there with your smirk,

why don't you take these markers

and work on this adult colorin' book?

Ol' I-N-T-J ass.

- Oh, but these designs are so intricate, though!

- Ooh! Ooh!

You wanna know what's intricate?

You wanna know what's intricate?

Your neural pathways.

Blippitying around to the point

where you can't reach Nirvana!

Ooh! You think that I'm goin' hard

on all of this wellness shit for my health?

I want all of us to make the 30 Bangers Under 30 list,

not just Shanedra.

- Five years runnin', homie.

- Now that I made myself blippity clear,

Tamra, your mantra-- go.

- Well, i--

[phone chimes]

- Nigga! Is that your phone, nigga?

The sign clearly says

no devices!

- But this is Southwest regional trap call!

I didn't dial in!

- 'Bout to dial your ass!

Hello, ass, she need some motherfuckin' me-time!

You know what?

Since you can't get your self-care together,

you 'bout to catch these hands.

- Aw, man.

- Durin' a 60-minute massage.

- Ah, man!

- Yeah. - Tah!

- Yeah. Take in that self-care, homie!

Get up in here.

Get in the shoulders, massage lady.

- Did someone order towels?

- Hey! Hey!

Hey, homie, this here is a private class.

So why don't you take these high thread count linens

and see your way up outta here.

- I got a better idea!

[all gasping] Why don't you leave your

high-falootin' attitude and see this gun up in your face?

- Who is scat? - That's Antonia.

She supposed to be dead.

- She alive like a muh-fucker.

- Sorry, Antonia, we thought--

- You thought? Last time I checked,

I thought I was the founder of the Coral Reefs

and I'm the only one who decides

if I'm alive--or not!

- So...you not dead?

- To the IRS, I am.

- Dang, Ja Rule,

you ain't pay your taxes?

- Why should I pay the government

42% of my income so they can allocate that revenue

to agencies that will terrorize me and my community?

Nah! - I don't mean

to step on your Chucks or nothin', Antonia,

but why you here then?

- I risked my freedom to deliver a message.

- To me?

- Yes, to you.

Congratulations, Elisa!

You won the Coral Reef's Divisional Excellence award!

Blippity blippity!

- Scat, scat, scat.

- Wow!

Oh, blip-blippity!

Ohh, first I wanna thank all the mark-ass busters--

- Save it for the national banquet.

But break me off some-a that petty cash

so I can get back to my private island.

- Bet.

[mellow hip-hop]

Safe travels.

Y'all knew y'all clearly had me

thinkin' I was 'bout to get murked!

Thought I was 'bout to be laid out!

- ♪ I know you know this, I know you know that ♪

♪ I know you know this is the way we move ♪

♪ I know you know this, I know you know that ♪

- Don't hurt him, Resa!

Or do! Ha. Your choice. You the birthday girl.

- Okay? A birthday girl who can still fit

in this body-con dress.

I looked in the mirror and I was like, "Yes!

My body con still do that shit!"

[cackling]

Okay, we done.

My booty look juicy, don't it?

- Hell, yeah. Like good gossip.

35--where?

[laughter]

- Hey, ladies. Shot time.

- Cheers to aging like Bianca Lawson.

And to Resa's birthday, of course.

- Ooh! Is it 12:00 yet?

- Almost. The clock strikes 12:00

in five, four,

- Three, two,

[slow motion] one!

- [laughing]

[bell tolling]

[airy chords]

Uh...did I lose a tooth?

- Fol-de-rol and fiddle-dee-dee

and fiddley-faddley-flauntee.

The time has come for you

to step into the role of auntie!

[giggling] - A who and a what?

- Why, you're 35, which means it's officially time.

Today is your Auntie-pendence day,

and I am your Fairy Aunt-Mother!

- I'm good, so thanks.

- From this day forth, you're basically--

- I said no! Ha ha.

I am still lit, oka--

Would an auntie be able to Milly Rock?

Eh-eh-heh-heh-heh.

- She would.

And it would look just like that.

So sad.

- But...[panting] but I still look and feel

so young.

I mean, I'm wearing a fucking body-con.

Zuuhhh--

- But, originally, you wanted to wear

a turtleneck, did you not?

- Well, duh, bitch.

I didn't wanna catch a cold, so--

ohh... - See?

Once the clock strikes 12:00, quality bras,

Tupperware in your Coach purse,

and a state room on the Tom Joyner Cruise

twill all be your new reality.

And, by this time tomorrow night,

you'll be at home reading in your housecoat.

- Ehuhuhuh--you evil.

- And you're aging!

- No, wait! Okay, just one more year, okay?

I still got some perks, got some twerks left in me.

Come on, now!

Please? [whimpering]

Please? I don't wanna be an auntie.

- It's too late. You already are!

[shimmering sound]

- No...

no...

oh, no!

That's not me. It can't be me!

I would never wear no kitten heel.

Look at them feet! Whoo, no! Not me.

Mm-mm. Try again, girl. That ain't me.

- Fol-de-rol and fiddle-dee-dee...

- Here she go with these nursery rhymes, shit.

- Faddley-fage. ♪ My job is done ♪

and you must accept the truth

of age.

- No...

no!

[eerie chords]

- Ha ha ha ha ha!

- [snarling]

- Uh-oh.

[all snarling]

[Fairy Aunt-Mother whimpers]

I'm dying!

Ohh!

[dramatic end chords]

[hip-hop resumes]

- Ahh!

- Mmm...

- Mmm. Tastes like Botox and Boniva.

- What the fuck?

Y'all ate her?

Now, I had pot stickers for the table.

- Resa, chill. This is how we stay young.

By throwing down on fairy dust.

- [inhales] Ohh ho-ho-ho!

We're really 85. - But don't trip.

We got you, 'cause tomorrow night

there's an Anthony Hamilton concert next door

to a Pappadeaux's. - It's gonna be full-a chicks

turning 35--it's gonna be hella fairies to grub on.

- Fine. Let me grab my pocketbook.

But it better be over by 10:00 p.m.

Huh. Y'all cold? It's cold in here.

Ooh, I'm hot. I think I'm havin' a flash.

Are y'all--are y'all hot?

[hip-hop music resumes, fades]

- I do have a secret.

Okay, so...last week

when I was here dropping off that box,

I found a communication system.

- I knew your ass was lyin'. Trying not to communicate

about a communication system. - I didn't tell you guys

because I was afraid that once you got here,

you would get on the system,

find out if there were other people out there,

and then...

- And then what?

You picked a very bad time to pause.

- Leave me.

I thought you would leave me.

Sorry. I'm not trying to be weird.

It's just I-I panic when I'm alone.

You know? I'm good in a world where there's people

and podcasts and shit, but now that that's all gone,

I know that the only way that I could survive

was with some tough, smart, dope women

who had each other's backs.

But I couldn't find them,

so I decided to kick it with y'all.

- That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

- I can't believe you thought we would leave you.

- Never.

Never, never.

And to prove it to you,

I'd like to know your last name.

What is it?

- Jiminion. - All right.

- My dad's name was James, my mom's name was Minion.

- Ooh. - Oh, honey.

That's not how last names work.

Come on.

- But it's so cute.

[chuckling] - Nice goin', Robin.

- What I do? - You made us doubt our friend

who had a perfectly heartfelt explanation

for everything. - Yeah, Robin.

I don't know why you're so worried about your hair.

- Really? And don't act like

she was a fucking Care Bear the whole time.

You didn't know. - You know what?

You've created a lot of unnecessary tension

with your suspicions, and Skye has been

nothing but nice to us this whole time.

I think you should apologize.

- A-apologize? For what?

She's the one that should apologize

for keepin' secrets and shit.

- Robin, apologize!

I don't care to who. I've just never seen you do it.

- She doesn't have to do that. - Shh!

- It's okay. - Don't act like you know

what's best for you right now.

Robin...

- I'm sorry if you felt that--

- No. - No.

- What? O-okay.

I'm sorry if you thought that somehow I--

- No. I, Robin, am sorry for...

- 2004. Ha ha ha ha.

You do it if you know all the words.

- This could take all day. - [sighs]

Hold on. Rewind.

Did you say there's a communication system?

[laughter] - Okay.

Let's go get this brunch.

I know my girls 'bout to have some avocado toast

'cause we healthy and have disposable income and shit.

♪ Ah, love y'all ♪

So get some waffles.

[chuckling] [phone chimes]

[light music]

- Actually, we're not going to brunch, Ally.

- We need to talk to you.

- Come on, y'all, do we have to do this?

Ally's our girl. - Yep.

Now sit your ass down, Ally.

This is an intervention.

Everyone open the "Ally's not in this one" group text.

- [mouthing] Sorry.

- Oh, shit, son.

You tellin' me this 'bout to be

the hottest intervention of all time?

Okay, and I see y'all

thriving on a group chat without me.

Ha. Drag me, queens.

- Ally, this isn't a joke. This is serious.

- The power this has!

For y'all to tell me about me and shit?

I mean, y'all real ones for this.

I'm so proud of you.

- That's actually what we wanted to talk to you about.

You're like an 8:00 p.m. milkshake.

You gas us up too much.

- 'Cause y'all the shit!

Effervescent! - Ey!

Yeah, like Alka-Seltzer. - Hey!

- You have to stop doing that. I am running out of shirts!

- Ally, our group chat is full of receipts

when your "do too much" and "go too hard"

have negatively affected us.

I'll start. - Carla's texts are green

'cause she has Android. - [unevenly] It understands

my voice recognition. - Almost there.

- Oh, that's long. - We had a lotta things to say.

- Here we are.

You gas me up even when I'm wrong.

Remember this? "I put green olives in my mac and cheese."

And you told me to post it on Instagram.

Then my account got reported

for being harmful and offensive.

- Sorry! - More like delicious

and inventive--I don't care if you did get chopped.

You still the top chef. Yaaas!

- Nooo! And then that one time

that I fell asleep at work under my desk

and my boss called me out, and I was going to apologize,

I was, but you know what you told me?

[as Ally] If he's sleeping on your skills,

you get to sleep on the job!

- First of all, great impression.

And also, yes, you're the only boss I see.

Don't let imposter syndrome keep you from getting your Zs

while gettin' your W2s.

- I got fired.

- I see you, unemployed!

Out here with free time during the day

to pursue your hobbies.

- And let's be real, Kerry.

You deserve to be fired, okay?

They caught you in a whole-ass bonnet and a slanket.

- Watch it.

- Ally. [ah-ah-ahem]

[ah-ahem]

[hoarsely] Ally, you're a very good friend.

You have a very big heart.

But sometimes...

but...

Sometimes your supportiveness is just inappropriate.

Like the time that I had to give a very difficult speech--

- And you ate that shit up. I love that shit!

- It was my grandmother's funeral.

My grandmother's funeral? You stood on a pew

and you screamed about how "hordt" my eulogy was.

- Yeah, 'cause that shit banged, though.

You had a metaphor, a thesis statement,

and a analogy.

You killed that, okay? I died!

- But your hypeness is not honest.

Like when Sasha went through her "I think I can sing" phase

and you submitted her to "The Voice."

Talkin' about [as Ally] you definitely

have what it takes to win.

- Ah, and was my bitch on "The Voice,"

or was my bitch on "The Voice" though?

- Yeah, Ally, I did,

but the judges, they didn't turn around.

I heard a actual cricket-- a real cricket.

How you gonna hear a little cricket in that big ol' place?

It was like..."You suck."

[chirping] Ee ee, ee ee, ee...

- And you took that rejection like a champ.

You was brave as fuck. - Yeah, but now I'm a meme.

They call me Cricket Girl.

- Best meme in the game.

Meme Queen: chirp, chirp! [giggling]

- Ally, this has to stop.

- [strained] You're hurting us.

- Yeah, I'm with them. You just love us too hard.

[music stops]

- Wow. Too hard and too hordt?

- Yes! - Yes, both of them.

- Oh, man. - Nobody need

that much love, Ally.

- Dang, you guys, I just... [sighs]

I don't know, I just wanna be a good friend, and then...

I don't know, I guess when I hear you guys

saying these things, it...

It just makes me feel like...

y'all the baddest bitches in the game for this!

Ha! I feel so intervened right now.

Y'all did that.

I would buy tickets to this.

I feel like I went to a concert,

but the album being played is me.

I have never been so told about myself in my life!

- Ally, enough! [crack]

- Oh! - Oh, my God!

[overlapping screaming]

- Ally! - Ally, help!

- Come through, bone. You snapped!

- No, no, we need to get her to the hospital!

- Oh, my God! [overlapping shouting]

- Okay, I see you, blood,

pumpin' out my girl's body.

Come on, homeostasis!

Ooh, look at the support. Y'all strong.

Come on, muscles. Okay.

Ooh, I love this house. It is so well-decorated.

Girl, when did you paint your door yellow?

Okay, come on, breeze! This is a beautiful day.

Come on, trees, makin' oxygen and shit.

I see you. Come on, global warming.

It's nice out here. Good job, sun!

[lightly edgy music]

- I'll do it.

[beep, electric chirping]

- Oh, wow!

They're showing a 10-mile radius

of all the cell phone signals around the warehouse.

- I knew that. - Oh, my God!

Are those other survivors?

- Where are they? - Maybe I can find Kevin.

[electronic chirping]

- Oh, shit. Those are just our phones.

That's okay. I got this.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[beep]

- Sure, everyone's dead,

but on the bright side, no fuckboys are alive.

- Oh, Kevin...

- Hey!

[mellow music]

[cheers and applause]

[music in background]

♪ ♪

- Thank y'all so much. You're all just so beautiful.

- We love you, Nona!

- I love you, too, queen. I love you all.

Now, this next record is very special to me.

How many of y'all breathe air?

- I do! - Yeah!

♪ ♪

- Ahh... I can breathe, ahh.

This one's for you, queen.

♪ ♪

♪ All I breathe is air ♪

♪ Anytime I open my eyes I see ♪

♪ Breathe with me, see with me ♪

Sing it!

all: ♪ Breathe with me, see with me ♪

- ♪ Every time I step, I walk ♪

♪ Every time I speak, I talk ♪

♪ Every time I listen, I hear ♪

♪ And every time I breathe, it's air ♪

Y'all feel me. Say ♪ Ooh, air ♪

all: ♪ Ooh, air ♪ - Say, ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Air right there ♪

- ♪ Ooh, ooh, air right there ♪

- ♪ I said ooh, ooh aaaiiirrr ♪

♪ A-E-E-E-I-O-U ♪

♪ And sometimes Y-Y-Y-Y-Y ♪

♪ I before E except after C ♪

Your turn!

- ♪ Ooh, ooh, air...♪

- Yeah.

- ♪ A...I-O-U ♪

- ♪ That's right, and sometimes Y... ♪

- ♪ I...♪ I'm sorry.

- ♪ Do the air with me, scare with me ♪

♪ Twist your hair with me, Nair with me ♪

Do it!

all: ♪ Hair with me, scare with me ♪

♪ Twist your hair with me, Nair with me ♪

- Y'all are good. Now do this.

♪ Solve with me, evolve with me ♪

You got it! all: ♪ Solve with me ♪

♪ Evolve with me ♪

- Oh, I like your energy, queen!

Wow!

- Aaaaaaah!

- If y'all got real love for me,

put your hands in the air.

Put 'em up high.

Yeah!

- Oh! - Oh!

- Ooh.

- Nona, are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm good, I'm good. All I need is air.

- ♪ Every time I open my eyes, I see... ♪

- Yes, sing!

- Who am I? - Nona Love!

Nona Love!

- But, like, where am I from? - Chi-town!

- On like what street specifically?

- 1422 Ashland.

- No, seriously, y'all, I think that fall

really did me in.

I don't remember anything.

Are there any doctors in the house?

- Whoo-hoo! - Whoo-hoo!

- No, like real medical assistance, y'all.

Help me out. I need some air.

[music resumes]

- ♪ All I breathe is air ♪

all: ♪ Every time I open my eyes ♪

♪ I see ♪

♪ Breathe with me, see with me ♪

♪ Breathe with me, see with me ♪

♪ Every time I step, I walk ♪

♪ Every time I speak, I talk ♪

- ♪ Every time I wake, I'm woke ♪

♪ Every time I blaze, I smoke ♪

♪ Every time I pray, it's prayer ♪

♪ And every time I breathe, it's air ♪

♪ All I breathe is air ♪

♪ Any time I open my eyes, I see ♪

♪ Breathe with me, see with me ♪

♪ Breathe with me, see with me ♪

♪ Every time I step, I walk ♪

♪ Every time I speak, I talk ♪

♪ Every time I listen, I hear ♪

♪ And every time I breathe, it's air ♪

♪ Ooh air, ooh air ♪

♪ Ooh ooh air right there ♪

♪ Ooh ooh air right there ♪

♪ I said ooh ooh a-a-air ♪

♪ A-E-E-E-I-O-U ♪

♪ And sometimes Y-Y-Y-Y-Y ♪

♪ And I before E except after C ♪

♪ Ooh oooh ♪

♪ Every time I pick, I choose ♪

- And that's why I broke up with Cameron.

You ain't gonna be wearin' my fur coat.

- Pinky out, nigga!

- You can. Go ahead. Apologize.

[laughing] Sorry.

- Did you not come far enough?

- Cricket--a real cricket. - Okay, but you took

that rejection like a tramp!

[laughter]

The real feelings came out.

The real feelings came out.

- Don't hurt him, Resa.

Or do. Ha. My Mic.

Oh, my hot pad just fell out.

Sorry! - Where was that?

Where was that? Eeew!

[bright tone]

♪ (ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

KIDNAPPER: Show me some hurt, dammit!

(GRUNTS)

Nice try, Kid Cudi.

I have fibroids the size of cantaloupes.

I have slept through worse pain.

♪ Bottles poppin' Booty poppin' ♪

♪ Body rockin' Ain't no stoppin' ♪

♪ Got a taste That's so expensive ♪

♪ Sugar poppa, feed me lobster ♪

(SCREAMS)

Aspire higher! Live louder! Fail quieter. Be you!

Rules of the road on your journey to success,

while maximizing your full potential.

-(METAL THUDS) -Hey! Sit down somewhere.

Ow! Made me hurt my wrist.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

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