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1
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,667
NARRATOR: Did you know
HBO Max is the new way
2
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:10,959
to stream all of your favorite
HBO shows...
3
00:00:11,041 --> 00:00:12,417
AMALIA TRUE:
I see glimpses of the future.
4
00:00:12,583 --> 00:00:13,917
NARRATOR:
...and big Hollywood hits?
5
00:00:14,709 --> 00:00:15,917
-Woo!
-(LAUGHS)
6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,125
NARRATOR: All of this
anytime you want.
7
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,375
This is bigger than you.
8
00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:21,208
NARRATOR: That's not even
the best part.
9
00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,166
This just keeps getting
better and better.
10
00:00:23,542 --> 00:00:25,792
NARRATOR: You already have
access to HBO Max.
11
00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:26,792
You swear?
12
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,083
NARRATOR:
13
00:00:28,291 --> 00:00:29,917
-So, what are you waiting for?
-BOTH: Wow!
14
00:00:30,083 --> 00:00:32,083
NARRATOR:
Stream HBO and more.
15
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,709
[TV static drones]
16
00:00:43,792 --> 00:00:46,041
[bright tone]
17
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:49,083
[mellow music]
18
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:54,458
♪ ♪
19
00:00:56,667 --> 00:00:58,000
[slurp]
20
00:01:00,083 --> 00:01:01,417
[sighs]
21
00:01:04,625 --> 00:01:08,375
[thinking]
Okay, Tiffany, go to sleep.
22
00:01:08,458 --> 00:01:11,041
Wait. Is my bonnet on?
23
00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:12,542
Phew. Nice and tight.
24
00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:14,542
But not too tight.
I don't wanna leave a line.
25
00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:16,375
Go to sleep.
26
00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:19,375
I gotta remember
to buy more Funyuns.
27
00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:22,500
No. Sleep. Ha!
I just got that: fun onions!
28
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,875
[chuckles]
Sleep.
29
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,875
I could buy Funyuns
30
00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,125
with money
from my GoFundMe scam.
31
00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:30,041
Ohh, I should really
stop telling people
32
00:01:30,125 --> 00:01:31,917
I have lupus.
33
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,750
I am a garbage person.
34
00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:36,125
I've always been trash.
35
00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:37,917
Remember in third grade
when Casey Winters
36
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,750
stuttered one time
and I called her MC Stammer?
37
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,083
Then for the rest of the year,
38
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:43,917
every time she raised
her hand,
39
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,542
even the teacher would say,
"Stop! Stammer time!"
40
00:01:46,625 --> 00:01:48,750
Ohh, I wonder where Casey
is now.
41
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,583
I'm a bully.
42
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:52,792
I used to sit behind Casey
in class
43
00:01:52,875 --> 00:01:54,417
and spray her elbows
with water
44
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,458
and then tease her
for being ashy.
45
00:01:56,542 --> 00:01:58,083
My soul is ashy!
46
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:00,417
[whimpers]
I deserve every bad thing
47
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:01,750
that has happened to me,
48
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,583
including not being able
to grow eyebrows
49
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:06,583
yet somehow always
having a moustache!
50
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:08,583
Enough!
51
00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:10,834
[breathing heavily]
Father God,
52
00:02:10,917 --> 00:02:13,458
I know I haven't paid tithes
in, like...
53
00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:15,250
well, ever,
54
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:18,458
but please forgive me.
I can't live like this.
55
00:02:18,542 --> 00:02:20,375
I would give anything
to go back
56
00:02:20,458 --> 00:02:24,125
and apologize to Casey Winters
from third grade.
57
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:25,125
[eerie chords]
58
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:28,417
- You can.
Go ahead, apologize.
59
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,125
- What the fuck?!
60
00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:31,792
- It's me, Casey Winters,
61
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:33,291
AKA, MC Stammer.
62
00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:35,125
You said you wanted
to apologize to me.
63
00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:36,625
Well, here I am.
64
00:02:36,709 --> 00:02:38,542
- I thought you were
my conscience.
65
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,542
- You don't have
one of those.
66
00:02:42,417 --> 00:02:44,625
I've moved with you
to every apartment
67
00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:45,750
you've ever lived in.
68
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:47,875
I spent my entire life
under your bed
69
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,709
just tormenting you.
70
00:02:49,792 --> 00:02:51,458
- But I go to work
during the day.
71
00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:53,500
You didn't have to stay
under the bed during the day.
72
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:56,208
- I-I don't--
This isn't about me, okay?
73
00:02:56,291 --> 00:02:58,458
This is about you.
You're a bully!
74
00:02:58,542 --> 00:03:00,917
You ruined my life.
75
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,291
- I mean, I feel like
you ruined your life
76
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:06,041
by staying under my bed
since the third grade?
77
00:03:06,125 --> 00:03:08,625
You could have made something
of yourself by now.
78
00:03:08,709 --> 00:03:10,333
Taye Diggs
follows me on Twitter.
79
00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:11,834
You're a loser.
80
00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:13,834
- Oh, yeah, well,
if I'm a loser,
81
00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:15,709
then why is there an
"Unsolved Mysteries" about me?
82
00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:17,875
- Because your parents
think you're missing!
83
00:03:17,959 --> 00:03:20,709
There was a whole "True Crime"
podcast about you too!
84
00:03:20,792 --> 00:03:22,709
I know, I know.
Obviously, KJ did not do it.
85
00:03:22,792 --> 00:03:25,166
- Girl, he's been in jail
for 13 years.
86
00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:26,667
- That's on you.
- Ha.
87
00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:28,166
I feel like it isn't.
88
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,709
Look, I'm sorry if you feel
like I "bullied you", but--
89
00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:32,834
- Great!
90
00:03:32,917 --> 00:03:35,875
An apology!
That's all I wanted. Bye!
91
00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:38,208
And get some concealer
for those bags under your eyes,
92
00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:40,208
you sleepy-ass motherfucker.
93
00:03:40,291 --> 00:03:42,208
I'm out.
The clerk at a grocery store
94
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:44,083
once said
she didn't like my hair,
95
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,000
talkin' 'bout my box braids.
[chortles]
96
00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,083
I'm about to be
up under her box spring.
97
00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:49,917
[Tiffany groans in disgust]
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00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,917
[eerie music]
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00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,458
♪ ♪
100
00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:58,208
- ♪ Here's a little story
'bout a raw-ass bitch ♪
101
00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:00,417
♪ That'll take yo' man
like she take that dick ♪
102
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,875
♪ She got 99 problems
but a bitch ain't one ♪
103
00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:04,250
♪ She like
strapped street niggas ♪
104
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:05,583
♪ Who gon' run them funds ♪
105
00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,542
♪ I got a gang of bitches who
gon' see 'bout me ♪
106
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,750
♪ Quick to run up in your
shit, ho, one, two, three ♪
107
00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,375
♪ Selling out 'bout me,
I still remain untouched ♪
108
00:04:12,458 --> 00:04:14,458
♪ I just walk through them hos
and drop my nuts ♪
109
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:16,709
♪ Your baby daddy fell in
love, I just wanted to fuck ♪
110
00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:17,750
- Uhh--
111
00:04:17,834 --> 00:04:19,333
[music stops]
112
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:24,417
- ♪ Go, girl,
wit' yo' fine ass ♪
113
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:25,625
♪ Get a bag, make 'em mad ♪
114
00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:27,250
♪ Bitch, you bad
with your fine ass ♪
115
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,083
♪ Go, girl,
wit' yo' fine ass ♪
116
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,417
♪ Make a mess,
leave 'em crushed ♪
117
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,000
♪ You the best
wit' yo' fine ass ♪
118
00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,750
♪ Go, girl,
wit' yo' fine ass ♪
119
00:04:33,834 --> 00:04:35,083
♪ Get a bag, make 'em mad ♪
120
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:36,750
♪ Bitch, you bad
with your fine ass ♪
121
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,583
♪ Go, girl,
wit' yo' fine ass ♪
122
00:04:38,667 --> 00:04:39,792
♪ Make a mess,
leave 'em crushed ♪
123
00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:41,250
♪ You the best,
let me see you do it ♪
124
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:43,208
♪ Slide with it
high with it, vibe with it ♪
125
00:04:43,291 --> 00:04:45,250
♪ Talk to your homegirl,
high-five with me ♪
126
00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:46,792
♪ Let me see you do it,
tip with it ♪
127
00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:48,959
♪ Come get short with it,
come get short with it ♪
128
00:04:49,041 --> 00:04:51,250
♪ A'ight, do it,
put your hip in there ♪
129
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:52,291
♪ Do it ♪
130
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,500
[music stops]
131
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,792
- I agree with Robin.
132
00:04:57,875 --> 00:05:00,417
This heifer is suspish.
133
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,709
- Oh, uh-uh.
134
00:05:01,792 --> 00:05:03,583
- Can we not call people cows?
135
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:06,000
- Okay! Fine.
136
00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,083
I won't call her
a cow.
137
00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:10,875
[whispering] But I need to
speak wit' you birds.
138
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,125
It is selfish of her
to not do my hair.
139
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:18,792
It is the end of
the world,
140
00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:20,333
and we all have to
pitch in somehow.
141
00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:21,959
- How are you pitching in?
142
00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:24,458
- By getting this woman
to use her God-given gift
143
00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:25,667
to lay my edges.
144
00:05:25,750 --> 00:05:27,291
- When did she only have
one gift?
145
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:29,125
I mean, right now, she's
dealing with your slander
146
00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:30,667
and bein' a whole-ass barista.
147
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:33,083
[coffee machine huffing]
148
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,458
- Fuck the coffee!
149
00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,000
I have a confession.
150
00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:39,667
I put conditioner
in my hair this morning, guys.
151
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,375
But then Ashley said
it'll make my hair radioactive.
152
00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:44,333
My hair probably only has
15 minutes to live,
153
00:05:44,417 --> 00:05:46,166
and this bitch, she talkin'
'bout "I'm out the game"!
154
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,625
- That part!
- What is goin' on
155
00:05:47,709 --> 00:05:49,500
with you two?
Y'all are over here
156
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,333
playin' patty-cake,
suspishin' Skye for no reason.
157
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:54,166
And now you have me
saying it.
158
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,834
- Gabrielle, come on.
159
00:05:55,917 --> 00:05:57,709
Skye has been down for us
forever.
160
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,834
Who untangled your weave
when we got kicked outta
161
00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:01,250
"Dick Clark's
New Year's Rockin' Eve"
162
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,375
with Ryan Seacrest?
163
00:06:02,458 --> 00:06:04,500
- And who gave you 45 inches
164
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:06,333
when other stylists
said your neck
165
00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:07,959
only had the fortitude
for 42?
166
00:06:08,041 --> 00:06:09,500
Skye believed in you.
167
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:11,208
Now you tryin' to give her
the big chop?
168
00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:13,125
And as far as radioactive
hair goes,
169
00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:15,500
I would never present
a problem without a solution.
170
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:18,041
I'll just shampoo it out.
171
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:19,834
- Points were made.
Shots unfired.
172
00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:22,041
- What? Now I'm the only
one who's crazy
173
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:23,417
because I think
this place is weird
174
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,875
and she has a secret?
175
00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:27,000
- You're right.
- [gasps]
176
00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:28,917
I do have a secret.
177
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:34,041
[soft music]
178
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:36,417
[rhythm picks up]
179
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:40,166
- Welcome to the Coral Reef's
annual corporate retreat
180
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:44,000
here at the Serenity
Wellness Resort & Spa.
181
00:06:44,083 --> 00:06:45,834
Blippity blippity.
182
00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:47,041
all: Scat, scat, scat.
183
00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:48,500
- As you know,
184
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:50,542
it's been a tough year
in the banging industry.
185
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:53,417
Recruitment is down 27%
186
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,000
from our Prison-to-Reef
pipeline.
187
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,417
Our Mergers & Acquisitions
team,
188
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,000
they failed to gank real estate
189
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,250
from the Second Street
Stabbers, and...
190
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:05,417
people thought that our
drive-by mammogram mobile
191
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,792
was a food truck.
192
00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:11,208
- So what you sayin' is
our breast exams was...
193
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:12,417
a bust.
194
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,291
[laughter]
195
00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:16,208
Stupid.
196
00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:18,667
- You think early detection
is a joke, Flop Wilson?
197
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:21,083
- Naw.
- Not everybody has
198
00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:22,959
premium healthcare
like we do.
199
00:07:23,041 --> 00:07:25,166
Your privilege is showin',
buster.
200
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,583
Now, as I was sayin',
201
00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:30,875
our morale
is at an all-time low,
202
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:32,458
specially after
we lost Shelly...
203
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:34,917
To Swing Left.
204
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,750
Congratulations to her
205
00:07:36,834 --> 00:07:38,250
for makin' a difference
in our democracy.
206
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,458
Blippity.
- Scat, scat, scat.
207
00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:42,291
- Now, what we gonna do
here today
208
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:46,000
is we're gonna master some
vital self-care techniques.
209
00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:48,625
In so doing,
we're gonna find ways
210
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:50,375
to achieve and maintain
211
00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:52,667
a healthy work/life balance.
Blippity.
212
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:54,291
- Scat.
- I'm wit' it.
213
00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:57,000
- I'ma 'bout to get
centered like a muh-fucker.
214
00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:58,458
- Now, what I want you
all to do--
215
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:00,583
I want you to get into
your Padmasana pose
216
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,625
with your palms facin' up.
217
00:08:02,709 --> 00:08:04,125
And let's kill some mantras!
218
00:08:04,208 --> 00:08:05,792
No disrespect to Tamra,
219
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:09,291
whose cousin Mantra
was killed last week.
220
00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:11,792
- Sorry for your lost.
- 'Preciate you.
221
00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:14,000
- Jess, you up.
- Oh, okay, bet.
222
00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:17,250
"I am...Becoming,"
223
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:19,458
by Michelle Obama.
224
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,667
[laughter]
225
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,458
- That's just the title
of a book, nigga!
226
00:08:23,542 --> 00:08:25,834
- Okay, I'm sorry.
227
00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:27,583
Namaste, namaste.
228
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:28,792
[chuckling]
- Now, you not
229
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,667
gonna say no more jokes,
Ali Wrong,
230
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:32,041
'cause you 'bout to
get shot...
231
00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,250
- What?
- Oh, no, no.
232
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:36,250
Come on!
- Shot-a wheatgrass!
233
00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:40,125
- But them's is bitter, though.
234
00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:41,875
- No, what's bitter...
235
00:08:41,959 --> 00:08:45,375
is your low iron causin'
our high customer attrition.
236
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,458
So get to sippin'.
237
00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:48,667
- Blippity.
238
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,166
- Shanedra.
Proud of you, home.
239
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,667
Yeah, you takin' your
performance review to heart!
240
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,834
But I asked...
241
00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:57,875
for your mantra!
242
00:08:57,959 --> 00:08:59,834
So since you just
wanna be a mark
243
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:02,500
and sit there with your smirk,
244
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,250
why don't you
take these markers
245
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:06,875
and work on this
adult colorin' book?
246
00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:09,667
Ol' I-N-T-J ass.
247
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,166
- Oh, but these designs
are so intricate, though!
248
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,208
- Ooh! Ooh!
249
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:16,208
You wanna know
what's intricate?
250
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:17,709
You wanna know
what's intricate?
251
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,208
Your neural pathways.
252
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,083
Blippitying around
to the point
253
00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:23,166
where you can't reach
Nirvana!
254
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:26,083
Ooh! You think
that I'm goin' hard
255
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,834
on all of this wellness shit
for my health?
256
00:09:27,917 --> 00:09:30,834
I want all of us to make
the 30 Bangers Under 30 list,
257
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:32,709
not just Shanedra.
258
00:09:32,792 --> 00:09:34,542
- Five years runnin', homie.
259
00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:37,583
- Now that I made myself
blippity clear,
260
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:41,542
Tamra, your mantra--
go.
261
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:42,709
- Well, i--
262
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:43,834
[phone chimes]
263
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:47,291
- Nigga!
Is that your phone, nigga?
264
00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:48,792
The sign clearly says
265
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:50,250
no devices!
266
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,250
- But this is Southwest
regional trap call!
267
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:53,750
I didn't dial in!
268
00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:55,417
- 'Bout to dial your ass!
269
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,417
Hello, ass, she need
some motherfuckin' me-time!
270
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,250
You know what?
271
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,417
Since you can't get
your self-care together,
272
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,875
you 'bout to catch
these hands.
273
00:10:03,959 --> 00:10:05,041
- Aw, man.
274
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:07,000
- Durin' a 60-minute
massage.
275
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,542
- Ah, man!
276
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:11,083
- Yeah.
- Tah!
277
00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:14,125
- Yeah.
Take in that self-care, homie!
278
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:15,583
Get up in here.
279
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:18,458
Get in the shoulders,
massage lady.
280
00:10:18,542 --> 00:10:21,417
- Did someone order towels?
281
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,458
- Hey! Hey!
282
00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:27,417
Hey, homie, this here
is a private class.
283
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,709
So why don't you take
these high thread count linens
284
00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:31,458
and see your way
up outta here.
285
00:10:31,542 --> 00:10:33,208
- I got a better idea!
286
00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:34,667
[all gasping]
Why don't you leave your
287
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,625
high-falootin' attitude and see
this gun up in your face?
288
00:10:37,709 --> 00:10:39,625
- Who is scat?
- That's Antonia.
289
00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:41,083
She supposed to be dead.
290
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,250
- She alive like a muh-fucker.
291
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,792
- Sorry, Antonia,
we thought--
292
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:47,709
- You thought?
Last time I checked,
293
00:10:47,792 --> 00:10:50,291
I thought I was the founder
of the Coral Reefs
294
00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:52,083
and I'm the only one
who decides
295
00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:53,583
if I'm alive--or not!
296
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:56,041
- So...you not dead?
297
00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:57,625
- To the IRS, I am.
298
00:10:57,709 --> 00:10:59,458
- Dang, Ja Rule,
299
00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:00,917
you ain't pay your taxes?
300
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,291
- Why should I pay
the government
301
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:05,458
42% of my income so they can
allocate that revenue
302
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:08,458
to agencies that will terrorize
me and my community?
303
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:09,667
Nah!
- I don't mean
304
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,750
to step on your Chucks
or nothin', Antonia,
305
00:11:11,834 --> 00:11:13,542
but why you here then?
306
00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:16,166
- I risked my freedom
to deliver a message.
307
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:17,333
- To me?
308
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:19,083
- Yes, to you.
309
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,542
Congratulations, Elisa!
310
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:26,667
You won the Coral Reef's
Divisional Excellence award!
311
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,166
Blippity blippity!
312
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:29,166
- Scat, scat, scat.
313
00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,542
- Wow!
314
00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:33,041
Oh, blip-blippity!
315
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:36,125
Ohh, first I wanna thank
all the mark-ass busters--
316
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:38,291
- Save it
for the national banquet.
317
00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,875
But break me off
some-a that petty cash
318
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,542
so I can get back
to my private island.
319
00:11:41,625 --> 00:11:43,041
- Bet.
320
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:47,333
[mellow hip-hop]
321
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,834
Safe travels.
322
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,208
Y'all knew y'all clearly had me
323
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,291
thinkin' I was 'bout to get
murked!
324
00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:55,959
Thought I was
'bout to be laid out!
325
00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,875
- ♪ I know you know this,
I know you know that ♪
326
00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:05,208
♪ I know you know this
is the way we move ♪
327
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,041
♪ I know you know this,
I know you know that ♪
328
00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,625
- Don't hurt him, Resa!
329
00:12:08,709 --> 00:12:11,375
Or do! Ha. Your choice.
You the birthday girl.
330
00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:13,208
- Okay? A birthday girl
who can still fit
331
00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:14,583
in this body-con dress.
332
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,709
I looked in the mirror
and I was like, "Yes!
333
00:12:16,792 --> 00:12:19,041
My body con still
do that shit!"
334
00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:20,375
[cackling]
335
00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:21,500
Okay, we done.
336
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,041
My booty look juicy,
don't it?
337
00:12:23,125 --> 00:12:24,875
- Hell, yeah.
Like good gossip.
338
00:12:24,959 --> 00:12:26,375
35--where?
339
00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:27,583
[laughter]
340
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:29,542
- Hey, ladies.
Shot time.
341
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:32,458
- Cheers to aging
like Bianca Lawson.
342
00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:34,291
And to Resa's birthday,
of course.
343
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:35,917
- Ooh! Is it 12:00 yet?
344
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,583
- Almost.
The clock strikes 12:00
345
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:39,583
in five, four,
346
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,875
- Three, two,
347
00:12:41,959 --> 00:12:44,583
[slow motion]
one!
348
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:47,667
- [laughing]
349
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:54,583
[bell tolling]
350
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:58,417
[airy chords]
351
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,083
Uh...did I lose a tooth?
352
00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:02,083
- Fol-de-rol
and fiddle-dee-dee
353
00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:04,083
and fiddley-faddley-flauntee.
354
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,417
The time has come for you
355
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,625
to step into the role of
auntie!
356
00:13:08,709 --> 00:13:11,083
[giggling]
- A who and a what?
357
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,959
- Why, you're 35, which means
it's officially time.
358
00:13:14,041 --> 00:13:16,250
Today is your
Auntie-pendence day,
359
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:19,417
and I am your
Fairy Aunt-Mother!
360
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,208
- I'm good, so thanks.
361
00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:23,125
- From this day forth,
you're basically--
362
00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:24,792
- I said no! Ha ha.
363
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,583
I am still lit, oka--
364
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:31,000
Would an auntie
be able to Milly Rock?
365
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,792
Eh-eh-heh-heh-heh.
366
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:34,333
- She would.
367
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:36,166
And it would look
just like that.
368
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,500
So sad.
369
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:40,458
- But...[panting]
but I still look and feel
370
00:13:40,542 --> 00:13:41,792
so young.
371
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:43,458
I mean, I'm wearing
a fucking body-con.
372
00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:44,625
Zuuhhh--
373
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,625
- But, originally,
you wanted to wear
374
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:48,375
a turtleneck, did you not?
375
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:49,959
- Well, duh, bitch.
376
00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:51,667
I didn't wanna catch
a cold, so--
377
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,000
ohh...
- See?
378
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:56,000
Once the clock strikes 12:00,
quality bras,
379
00:13:56,083 --> 00:13:58,458
Tupperware in your Coach purse,
380
00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:01,500
and a state room
on the Tom Joyner Cruise
381
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:04,667
twill all be your new reality.
382
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:07,500
And, by this time
tomorrow night,
383
00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:10,500
you'll be at home
reading in your housecoat.
384
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,041
- Ehuhuhuh--you evil.
385
00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:13,875
- And you're aging!
386
00:14:13,959 --> 00:14:16,041
- No, wait! Okay,
just one more year, okay?
387
00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:17,875
I still got some perks,
got some twerks left in me.
388
00:14:17,959 --> 00:14:18,875
Come on, now!
389
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,166
Please?
[whimpering]
390
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,041
Please? I don't wanna
be an auntie.
391
00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:25,792
- It's too late.
You already are!
392
00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:27,208
[shimmering sound]
393
00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:28,667
- No...
394
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:30,333
no...
395
00:14:30,417 --> 00:14:32,166
oh, no!
396
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:33,542
That's not me.
It can't be me!
397
00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:35,041
I would never wear
no kitten heel.
398
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,542
Look at them feet!
Whoo, no! Not me.
399
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,375
Mm-mm. Try again, girl.
That ain't me.
400
00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:39,875
- Fol-de-rol
and fiddle-dee-dee...
401
00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:41,500
- Here she go with
these nursery rhymes, shit.
402
00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,625
- Faddley-fage.
♪ My job is done ♪
403
00:14:43,709 --> 00:14:46,208
and you must accept
the truth
404
00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:48,333
of age.
405
00:14:48,417 --> 00:14:49,542
- No...
406
00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:50,709
no!
407
00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:53,709
[eerie chords]
408
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:54,875
- Ha ha ha ha ha!
409
00:14:54,959 --> 00:14:56,583
- [snarling]
410
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:57,875
- Uh-oh.
411
00:14:57,959 --> 00:14:59,834
[all snarling]
412
00:14:59,917 --> 00:15:01,375
[Fairy Aunt-Mother whimpers]
413
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:02,917
I'm dying!
414
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,583
Ohh!
415
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:05,750
[dramatic end chords]
416
00:15:05,834 --> 00:15:07,542
[hip-hop resumes]
417
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,709
- Ahh!
418
00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:11,041
- Mmm...
419
00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:14,041
- Mmm. Tastes like
Botox and Boniva.
420
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:15,709
- What the fuck?
421
00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:17,000
Y'all ate her?
422
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,083
Now, I had pot stickers
for the table.
423
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,542
- Resa, chill.
This is how we stay young.
424
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:21,792
By throwing down
on fairy dust.
425
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:23,125
- [inhales] Ohh ho-ho-ho!
426
00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:25,125
We're really 85.
- But don't trip.
427
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,542
We got you,
'cause tomorrow night
428
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:27,917
there's an Anthony Hamilton
concert next door
429
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,083
to a Pappadeaux's.
- It's gonna be full-a chicks
430
00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:33,417
turning 35--it's gonna be
hella fairies to grub on.
431
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,875
- Fine. Let me grab
my pocketbook.
432
00:15:35,959 --> 00:15:37,417
But it better be over
by 10:00 p.m.
433
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,417
Huh. Y'all cold?
It's cold in here.
434
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,417
Ooh, I'm hot.
I think I'm havin' a flash.
435
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,250
Are y'all--are y'all hot?
436
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:47,542
[hip-hop music resumes,
fades]
437
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,709
- I do have a secret.
438
00:15:50,792 --> 00:15:53,417
Okay, so...last week
439
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,250
when I was here
dropping off that box,
440
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,750
I found a communication system.
441
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,917
- I knew your ass was lyin'.
Trying not to communicate
442
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,417
about a communication system.
- I didn't tell you guys
443
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,667
because I was afraid
that once you got here,
444
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,125
you would get on the system,
445
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:06,959
find out if there were
other people out there,
446
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:08,542
and then...
447
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:11,166
- And then what?
448
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,083
You picked
a very bad time to pause.
449
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:14,583
- Leave me.
450
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,750
I thought you would leave me.
451
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,625
Sorry. I'm not trying
to be weird.
452
00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:20,792
It's just I-I panic
when I'm alone.
453
00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:22,583
You know? I'm good in a world
where there's people
454
00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:25,291
and podcasts and shit,
but now that that's all gone,
455
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,125
I know that the only way
that I could survive
456
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:29,834
was with some tough,
smart, dope women
457
00:16:29,917 --> 00:16:31,792
who had each other's backs.
458
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:32,959
But I couldn't find them,
459
00:16:33,041 --> 00:16:34,750
so I decided to kick it
with y'all.
460
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:37,458
- That's the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.
461
00:16:37,542 --> 00:16:39,625
- I can't believe you thought
we would leave you.
462
00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:42,000
- Never.
463
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,667
Never, never.
464
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,333
And to prove it to you,
465
00:16:45,417 --> 00:16:47,333
I'd like to know
your last name.
466
00:16:47,417 --> 00:16:48,625
What is it?
467
00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:50,166
- Jiminion.
- All right.
468
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,834
- My dad's name was James,
my mom's name was Minion.
469
00:16:52,917 --> 00:16:55,083
- Ooh.
- Oh, honey.
470
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,166
That's not how last names work.
471
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,500
Come on.
472
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:02,917
- But it's so cute.
473
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,709
[chuckling]
- Nice goin', Robin.
474
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,875
- What I do?
- You made us doubt our friend
475
00:17:07,959 --> 00:17:09,834
who had a perfectly
heartfelt explanation
476
00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:11,375
for everything.
- Yeah, Robin.
477
00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:13,333
I don't know why you're
so worried about your hair.
478
00:17:13,417 --> 00:17:15,041
- Really?
And don't act like
479
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:16,875
she was a fucking Care Bear
the whole time.
480
00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:18,458
You didn't know.
- You know what?
481
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:21,208
You've created a lot
of unnecessary tension
482
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,208
with your suspicions,
and Skye has been
483
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:25,417
nothing but nice to us
this whole time.
484
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,083
I think you should
apologize.
485
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:28,875
- A-apologize?
For what?
486
00:17:28,959 --> 00:17:30,208
She's the one
that should apologize
487
00:17:30,291 --> 00:17:31,291
for keepin' secrets
and shit.
488
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,875
- Robin, apologize!
489
00:17:32,959 --> 00:17:35,208
I don't care to who.
I've just never seen you do it.
490
00:17:35,291 --> 00:17:37,375
- She doesn't have to do that.
- Shh!
491
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:38,959
- It's okay.
- Don't act like you know
492
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,500
what's best for you
right now.
493
00:17:40,583 --> 00:17:41,625
Robin...
494
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,041
- I'm sorry if you felt that--
495
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:46,333
- No.
- No.
496
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:48,041
- What? O-okay.
497
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:50,834
I'm sorry if you thought
that somehow I--
498
00:17:50,917 --> 00:17:54,208
- No. I, Robin, am sorry for...
499
00:17:54,291 --> 00:17:56,417
- 2004.
Ha ha ha ha.
500
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,417
You do it
if you know all the words.
501
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:01,041
- This could take all day.
- [sighs]
502
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:03,250
Hold on. Rewind.
503
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:07,709
Did you say there's
a communication system?
504
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,041
[laughter]
- Okay.
505
00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:12,875
Let's go get this brunch.
506
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,625
I know my girls 'bout to have
some avocado toast
507
00:18:15,709 --> 00:18:17,875
'cause we healthy and have
disposable income and shit.
508
00:18:17,959 --> 00:18:19,458
♪ Ah, love y'all ♪
509
00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:20,667
So get some waffles.
510
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:22,041
[chuckling]
[phone chimes]
511
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:25,750
[light music]
512
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:28,208
- Actually, we're not
going to brunch, Ally.
513
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:29,583
- We need to talk to you.
514
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,083
- Come on, y'all,
do we have to do this?
515
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:32,041
Ally's our girl.
- Yep.
516
00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:33,125
Now sit your ass down, Ally.
517
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,417
This is an intervention.
518
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,792
Everyone open the "Ally's
not in this one" group text.
519
00:18:37,875 --> 00:18:39,041
- [mouthing]
Sorry.
520
00:18:41,166 --> 00:18:43,458
- Oh, shit, son.
521
00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:44,875
You tellin' me
this 'bout to be
522
00:18:44,959 --> 00:18:47,500
the hottest intervention
of all time?
523
00:18:47,583 --> 00:18:49,291
Okay, and I see y'all
524
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,291
thriving on a group chat
without me.
525
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:52,959
Ha. Drag me, queens.
526
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:55,417
- Ally, this isn't a joke.
This is serious.
527
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:56,750
- The power this has!
528
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,834
For y'all to tell me
about me and shit?
529
00:18:58,917 --> 00:19:00,792
I mean, y'all real ones
for this.
530
00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:02,125
I'm so proud of you.
531
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,083
- That's actually what we
wanted to talk to you about.
532
00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:06,792
You're like
an 8:00 p.m. milkshake.
533
00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:08,417
You gas us up too much.
534
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,125
- 'Cause y'all the shit!
535
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:11,792
Effervescent!
- Ey!
536
00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,625
Yeah, like Alka-Seltzer.
- Hey!
537
00:19:13,709 --> 00:19:16,834
- You have to stop doing that.
I am running out of shirts!
538
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,166
- Ally, our group chat
is full of receipts
539
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,917
when your "do too much"
and "go too hard"
540
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,458
have negatively
affected us.
541
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:24,583
I'll start.
- Carla's texts are green
542
00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,333
'cause she has Android.
- [unevenly] It understands
543
00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:28,166
my voice recognition.
- Almost there.
544
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,500
- Oh, that's long.
- We had a lotta things to say.
545
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:31,542
- Here we are.
546
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:33,125
You gas me up
even when I'm wrong.
547
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:36,041
Remember this? "I put green
olives in my mac and cheese."
548
00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:38,333
And you told me
to post it on Instagram.
549
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,000
Then my account got reported
550
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:41,834
for being harmful
and offensive.
551
00:19:41,917 --> 00:19:43,667
- Sorry!
- More like delicious
552
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,166
and inventive--I don't care
if you did get chopped.
553
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:48,709
You still the top chef.
Yaaas!
554
00:19:48,792 --> 00:19:51,000
- Nooo!
And then that one time
555
00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:52,834
that I fell asleep at work
under my desk
556
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,542
and my boss called me out,
and I was going to apologize,
557
00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:57,458
I was, but you know
what you told me?
558
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,291
[as Ally] If he's sleeping
on your skills,
559
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:01,333
you get to sleep
on the job!
560
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,500
- First of all,
great impression.
561
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,667
And also, yes,
you're the only boss I see.
562
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:09,208
Don't let imposter syndrome
keep you from getting your Zs
563
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,875
while gettin' your W2s.
564
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,208
- I got fired.
565
00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:13,834
- I see you, unemployed!
566
00:20:13,917 --> 00:20:15,709
Out here with free time
during the day
567
00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:17,208
to pursue your hobbies.
568
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:18,542
- And let's be real, Kerry.
569
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:20,041
You deserve to be fired,
okay?
570
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:22,250
They caught you in a whole-ass
bonnet and a slanket.
571
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,875
- Watch it.
572
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:25,667
- Ally.
[ah-ah-ahem]
573
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,375
[ah-ahem]
574
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,583
[hoarsely] Ally,
you're a very good friend.
575
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:31,208
You have a very big heart.
576
00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:32,583
But sometimes...
577
00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:34,125
but...
578
00:20:35,291 --> 00:20:38,083
Sometimes your supportiveness
is just inappropriate.
579
00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:40,709
Like the time that I had to
give a very difficult speech--
580
00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:43,250
- And you ate that shit up.
I love that shit!
581
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:46,417
- It was my grandmother's
funeral.
582
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:49,000
My grandmother's funeral?
You stood on a pew
583
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:52,250
and you screamed about
how "hordt" my eulogy was.
584
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,083
- Yeah, 'cause that shit
banged, though.
585
00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:56,250
You had a metaphor,
a thesis statement,
586
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:57,750
and a analogy.
587
00:20:57,834 --> 00:21:00,291
You killed that, okay?
I died!
588
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:02,458
- But your hypeness
is not honest.
589
00:21:02,542 --> 00:21:04,625
Like when Sasha went through
her "I think I can sing" phase
590
00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:06,250
and you submitted her
to "The Voice."
591
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:07,250
Talkin' about
[as Ally] you definitely
592
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,583
have what it takes to win.
593
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,208
- Ah, and was my bitch
on "The Voice,"
594
00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:11,917
or was my bitch
on "The Voice" though?
595
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,083
- Yeah, Ally, I did,
596
00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:14,709
but the judges,
they didn't turn around.
597
00:21:14,792 --> 00:21:17,125
I heard a actual cricket--
a real cricket.
598
00:21:17,208 --> 00:21:19,959
How you gonna hear a little
cricket in that big ol' place?
599
00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:21,834
It was like..."You suck."
600
00:21:21,917 --> 00:21:23,417
[chirping]
Ee ee, ee ee, ee...
601
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:25,750
- And you took that rejection
like a champ.
602
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:28,083
You was brave as fuck.
- Yeah, but now I'm a meme.
603
00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:29,583
They call me Cricket Girl.
604
00:21:29,667 --> 00:21:30,959
- Best meme in the game.
605
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,625
Meme Queen: chirp, chirp!
[giggling]
606
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,125
- Ally, this has to stop.
607
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:36,500
- [strained] You're hurting us.
608
00:21:36,583 --> 00:21:38,625
- Yeah, I'm with them.
You just love us too hard.
609
00:21:38,709 --> 00:21:40,166
[music stops]
610
00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:45,291
- Wow. Too hard
and too hordt?
611
00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:46,750
- Yes!
- Yes, both of them.
612
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:49,125
- Oh, man.
- Nobody need
613
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:50,417
that much love, Ally.
614
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:53,083
- Dang, you guys, I just...
[sighs]
615
00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:56,583
I don't know, I just wanna
be a good friend, and then...
616
00:21:56,667 --> 00:21:58,667
I don't know,
I guess when I hear you guys
617
00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:00,333
saying these things, it...
618
00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:03,917
It just makes me feel like...
619
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,291
y'all the baddest bitches
in the game for this!
620
00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,333
Ha! I feel so intervened
right now.
621
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:10,750
Y'all did that.
622
00:22:10,834 --> 00:22:12,792
I would buy tickets to this.
623
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:15,125
I feel like I went
to a concert,
624
00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:17,625
but the album being played
is me.
625
00:22:17,709 --> 00:22:20,542
I have never been so told
about myself in my life!
626
00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:22,542
- Ally, enough!
[crack]
627
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:24,041
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
628
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:26,041
[overlapping screaming]
629
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:28,291
- Ally!
- Ally, help!
630
00:22:28,375 --> 00:22:31,166
- Come through, bone.
You snapped!
631
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:33,667
- No, no, we need to
get her to the hospital!
632
00:22:33,750 --> 00:22:36,208
- Oh, my God!
[overlapping shouting]
633
00:22:36,291 --> 00:22:37,709
- Okay, I see you,
blood,
634
00:22:37,792 --> 00:22:38,959
pumpin' out my girl's
body.
635
00:22:39,041 --> 00:22:40,834
Come on, homeostasis!
636
00:22:40,917 --> 00:22:43,291
Ooh, look at the support.
Y'all strong.
637
00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:45,166
Come on, muscles.
Okay.
638
00:22:45,250 --> 00:22:47,834
Ooh, I love this house.
It is so well-decorated.
639
00:22:47,917 --> 00:22:50,625
Girl, when did you paint
your door yellow?
640
00:22:50,709 --> 00:22:53,875
Okay, come on, breeze!
This is a beautiful day.
641
00:22:53,959 --> 00:22:56,208
Come on, trees,
makin' oxygen and shit.
642
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,333
I see you.
Come on, global warming.
643
00:22:58,417 --> 00:23:00,625
It's nice out here.
Good job, sun!
644
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:06,083
[lightly edgy music]
645
00:23:06,166 --> 00:23:07,709
- I'll do it.
646
00:23:07,792 --> 00:23:10,333
[beep, electric chirping]
647
00:23:10,417 --> 00:23:11,709
- Oh, wow!
648
00:23:11,792 --> 00:23:13,208
They're showing
a 10-mile radius
649
00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:15,375
of all the cell phone signals
around the warehouse.
650
00:23:15,458 --> 00:23:16,667
- I knew that.
- Oh, my God!
651
00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:18,083
Are those other survivors?
652
00:23:18,166 --> 00:23:20,166
- Where are they?
- Maybe I can find Kevin.
653
00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:22,250
[electronic chirping]
654
00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:24,375
- Oh, shit.
Those are just our phones.
655
00:23:24,458 --> 00:23:26,542
That's okay.
I got this.
656
00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:29,583
[suspenseful music]
657
00:23:29,667 --> 00:23:34,542
♪ ♪
658
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:36,709
[beep]
659
00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,083
- Sure, everyone's dead,
660
00:23:39,166 --> 00:23:42,208
but on the bright side,
no fuckboys are alive.
661
00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:43,709
- Oh, Kevin...
662
00:23:43,792 --> 00:23:45,542
- Hey!
663
00:23:47,041 --> 00:23:50,709
[mellow music]
664
00:23:50,792 --> 00:23:52,583
[cheers and applause]
665
00:23:52,667 --> 00:23:56,041
[music in background]
666
00:23:56,125 --> 00:24:00,542
♪ ♪
667
00:24:00,625 --> 00:24:03,458
- Thank y'all so much.
You're all just so beautiful.
668
00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:04,917
- We love you, Nona!
669
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,542
- I love you, too, queen.
I love you all.
670
00:24:07,625 --> 00:24:12,000
Now, this next record
is very special to me.
671
00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:13,500
How many of y'all breathe air?
672
00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:16,250
- I do!
- Yeah!
673
00:24:16,333 --> 00:24:17,667
♪ ♪
674
00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:20,458
- Ahh...
I can breathe, ahh.
675
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,500
This one's for you, queen.
676
00:24:22,583 --> 00:24:24,291
♪ ♪
677
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:26,959
♪ All I breathe is air ♪
678
00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:30,583
♪ Anytime I open
my eyes I see ♪
679
00:24:30,667 --> 00:24:32,458
♪ Breathe with me,
see with me ♪
680
00:24:32,542 --> 00:24:33,625
Sing it!
681
00:24:33,709 --> 00:24:35,625
all: ♪ Breathe with me,
see with me ♪
682
00:24:35,709 --> 00:24:38,500
- ♪ Every time I step,
I walk ♪
683
00:24:38,583 --> 00:24:41,166
♪ Every time I speak, I talk ♪
684
00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:43,959
♪ Every time I listen, I hear ♪
685
00:24:44,041 --> 00:24:46,625
♪ And every time I breathe,
it's air ♪
686
00:24:46,709 --> 00:24:49,125
Y'all feel me.
Say ♪ Ooh, air ♪
687
00:24:49,208 --> 00:24:51,834
all: ♪ Ooh, air ♪
- Say, ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
688
00:24:51,917 --> 00:24:53,333
♪ Air right there ♪
689
00:24:53,417 --> 00:24:55,333
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, air right there ♪
690
00:24:55,417 --> 00:24:59,250
- ♪ I said ooh, ooh
aaaiiirrr ♪
691
00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:01,250
♪ A-E-E-E-I-O-U ♪
692
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,500
♪ And sometimes Y-Y-Y-Y-Y ♪
693
00:25:04,583 --> 00:25:08,250
♪ I before E except after C ♪
694
00:25:08,333 --> 00:25:10,166
Your turn!
695
00:25:10,250 --> 00:25:12,458
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, air...♪
696
00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:13,709
- Yeah.
697
00:25:13,792 --> 00:25:15,750
- ♪ A...I-O-U ♪
698
00:25:15,834 --> 00:25:19,333
- ♪ That's right,
and sometimes Y... ♪
699
00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:21,333
- ♪ I...♪
I'm sorry.
700
00:25:21,417 --> 00:25:24,125
- ♪ Do the air with me,
scare with me ♪
701
00:25:24,208 --> 00:25:26,458
♪ Twist your hair with me,
Nair with me ♪
702
00:25:26,542 --> 00:25:27,792
Do it!
703
00:25:27,875 --> 00:25:29,709
all: ♪ Hair with me,
scare with me ♪
704
00:25:29,792 --> 00:25:32,333
♪ Twist your hair with me,
Nair with me ♪
705
00:25:32,417 --> 00:25:34,625
- Y'all are good.
Now do this.
706
00:25:34,709 --> 00:25:37,709
♪ Solve with me,
evolve with me ♪
707
00:25:37,792 --> 00:25:39,333
You got it!
all: ♪ Solve with me ♪
708
00:25:39,417 --> 00:25:40,875
♪ Evolve with me ♪
709
00:25:40,959 --> 00:25:42,834
- Oh, I like your energy,
queen!
710
00:25:42,917 --> 00:25:44,041
Wow!
711
00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:46,375
- Aaaaaaah!
712
00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,750
- If y'all got real love
for me,
713
00:25:48,834 --> 00:25:51,375
put your hands in the air.
714
00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:53,333
Put 'em up high.
715
00:25:53,417 --> 00:25:55,417
Yeah!
716
00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:58,375
- Oh!
- Oh!
717
00:25:58,458 --> 00:26:00,041
- Ooh.
718
00:26:00,125 --> 00:26:02,375
- Nona, are you okay?
719
00:26:02,458 --> 00:26:05,375
- Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
All I need is air.
720
00:26:05,458 --> 00:26:07,875
- ♪ Every time I open
my eyes, I see... ♪
721
00:26:07,959 --> 00:26:09,250
- Yes, sing!
722
00:26:09,333 --> 00:26:11,709
- Who am I?
- Nona Love!
723
00:26:11,792 --> 00:26:13,709
Nona Love!
724
00:26:13,792 --> 00:26:16,375
- But, like, where am I from?
- Chi-town!
725
00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:19,917
- On like what street
specifically?
726
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,750
- 1422 Ashland.
727
00:26:21,834 --> 00:26:23,417
- No, seriously, y'all,
I think that fall
728
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,041
really did me in.
729
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,917
I don't remember anything.
730
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,875
Are there any doctors
in the house?
731
00:26:28,959 --> 00:26:30,750
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo!
732
00:26:30,834 --> 00:26:32,250
- No, like real medical
assistance, y'all.
733
00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:34,375
Help me out.
I need some air.
734
00:26:34,458 --> 00:26:35,458
[music resumes]
735
00:26:35,542 --> 00:26:37,250
- ♪ All I breathe is air ♪
736
00:26:37,333 --> 00:26:39,583
all: ♪ Every time I open
my eyes ♪
737
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,291
♪ I see ♪
738
00:26:41,375 --> 00:26:43,458
♪ Breathe with me,
see with me ♪
739
00:26:43,542 --> 00:26:45,959
♪ Breathe with me, see
with me ♪
740
00:26:46,041 --> 00:26:48,750
♪ Every time I step, I walk ♪
741
00:26:48,834 --> 00:26:52,542
♪ Every time I speak, I talk ♪
742
00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:56,917
- ♪ Every time I wake,
I'm woke ♪
743
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,792
♪ Every time I blaze,
I smoke ♪
744
00:26:59,875 --> 00:27:02,750
♪ Every time I pray,
it's prayer ♪
745
00:27:02,834 --> 00:27:05,625
♪ And every time I breathe,
it's air ♪
746
00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:08,125
♪ All I breathe is air ♪
747
00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:11,792
♪ Any time I open my eyes,
I see ♪
748
00:27:11,875 --> 00:27:14,583
♪ Breathe with me,
see with me ♪
749
00:27:14,667 --> 00:27:16,959
♪ Breathe with me, see
with me ♪
750
00:27:17,041 --> 00:27:19,792
♪ Every time I step, I walk ♪
751
00:27:19,875 --> 00:27:22,625
♪ Every time I speak, I talk ♪
752
00:27:22,709 --> 00:27:25,250
♪ Every time I listen,
I hear ♪
753
00:27:25,333 --> 00:27:29,000
♪ And every time
I breathe, it's air ♪
754
00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:31,625
♪ Ooh air, ooh air ♪
755
00:27:31,709 --> 00:27:34,458
♪ Ooh ooh air right there ♪
756
00:27:34,542 --> 00:27:36,792
♪ Ooh ooh
air right there ♪
757
00:27:36,875 --> 00:27:40,166
♪ I said ooh ooh
a-a-air ♪
758
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:42,750
♪ A-E-E-E-I-O-U ♪
759
00:27:42,834 --> 00:27:45,875
♪ And sometimes Y-Y-Y-Y-Y ♪
760
00:27:45,959 --> 00:27:48,667
♪ And I before E
except after C ♪
761
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,834
♪ Ooh oooh ♪
762
00:27:50,917 --> 00:27:54,333
♪ Every time I pick,
I choose ♪
763
00:27:54,417 --> 00:27:55,792
- And that's why I broke up
with Cameron.
764
00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:57,959
You ain't gonna be wearin'
my fur coat.
765
00:27:58,041 --> 00:28:00,000
- Pinky out, nigga!
766
00:28:00,083 --> 00:28:03,583
- You can. Go ahead.
Apologize.
767
00:28:05,166 --> 00:28:06,959
[laughing]
Sorry.
768
00:28:09,083 --> 00:28:10,500
- Did you not come
far enough?
769
00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:12,291
- Cricket--a real cricket.
- Okay, but you took
770
00:28:12,375 --> 00:28:14,166
that rejection like a tramp!
771
00:28:14,250 --> 00:28:17,250
[laughter]
772
00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:20,333
The real feelings came out.
773
00:28:20,417 --> 00:28:21,834
The real feelings
came out.
774
00:28:21,917 --> 00:28:23,500
- Don't hurt him, Resa.
775
00:28:23,583 --> 00:28:25,000
Or do. Ha. My Mic.
776
00:28:25,083 --> 00:28:26,709
Oh, my hot pad
just fell out.
777
00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:28,333
Sorry!
- Where was that?
778
00:28:28,417 --> 00:28:30,750
Where was that? Eeew!
779
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,417
[bright tone]
780
00:28:46,709 --> 00:28:47,333
♪ (ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
781
00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:49,125
KIDNAPPER:
Show me some hurt, dammit!
782
00:28:49,208 --> 00:28:49,875
(GRUNTS)
783
00:28:49,959 --> 00:28:51,458
Nice try, Kid Cudi.
784
00:28:51,625 --> 00:28:53,792
I have fibroids
the size of cantaloupes.
785
00:28:53,875 --> 00:28:55,417
I have slept through worse pain.
786
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,583
♪ Bottles poppin'
Booty poppin' ♪
787
00:28:56,667 --> 00:28:57,917
♪ Body rockin'
Ain't no stoppin' ♪
788
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,208
♪ Got a taste
That's so expensive ♪
789
00:28:59,291 --> 00:29:00,625
♪ Sugar poppa, feed me lobster ♪
790
00:29:00,709 --> 00:29:01,458
(SCREAMS)
791
00:29:01,875 --> 00:29:06,625
Aspire higher! Live louder!
Fail quieter. Be you!
792
00:29:06,709 --> 00:29:08,542
Rules of the road
on your journey to success,
793
00:29:08,625 --> 00:29:10,375
while maximizing
your full potential.
794
00:29:10,458 --> 00:29:12,834
-(METAL THUDS)
-Hey! Sit down somewhere.
795
00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:15,375
Ow! Made me hurt my wrist.
796
00:29:17,333 --> 00:29:18,333
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
797
00:29:18,383 --> 00:29:22,933
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