Original subtitles

- [Man] Sit down, gentlemen.

Please, please sit down.

What you are about to see is one of the most dramatic

pieces of art that has ever been created.

Now, I don't wanna bother you with detail...

Mr. Oswald, will you please hold still?

Now, as I was saying, I don't wanna bother you with details

on how I arrived at this, just let me say that it is a work

of true conviction, of true commitment,

and years and years of single-minded dedication.

Mr. Oswald, if you can't stop shaking,

I will have to ask you to leave the room.

Gentlemen.

Enjoy.

(ominous orchestral music)

(plane engines roar)

- [Announcer] Announcing the arrival of UGA Flight 419

from Frankfurt.

Passengers will be arriving at gate six in the B concourse.

UGA Flight 419, arriving at gate six, the B concourse.

British Airlines paging arriving passenger Hoffman.

Paging arriving passenger Hoffman.

Please go to the nearest available courtesy phone.

- [Announcer] Paging David Tully, David Tully.

Please come to the paging desk, lower level.

Paging David Tully.

Please come to the paging desk, lower level.

- [Announcer] This is the final boarding call

for Italian Airways flight nine to Rome.

All confirmed passengers should be on board.

Final boarding call, Italian Airways flight nine.

Paging Timothy Sweeper, Timothy Sweeper.

Please meet your passenger in baggage claim area four.

- [Announcer] Paging Rita Size, Rita Size,

please return to gate 14 and reclaim your carry-on bag.

Rita Size to gate 14.

Arriving passenger Michael Fury.

Please pick up the nearest available courtesy phone.

Arriving passenger Michael Fury

to the courtesy phone, please.

- Call for Michael Fury.

Thank you.

This is Michael Fury.

- [Woman] Mr. Fury, I have a message from Lori,

who says she's from the Detective Agency?

- Yes.

- [Woman] She's unable to meet you but asked that

you join her at Metropolis, a store on Melrose Avenue?

Do you know where that is?

- I'll find it.

- Have you got your passport? (woman chuckles)

- That's the fifth time you've asked me that.

- Remember when you tried to go to Missouri and you left--

- Yes, yes, yes. ("Bite The Hand That Feeds")

- The Metropolis on Melrose.

♪ Close your eyes, remember me from long ago

♪ Never say a word, no one will ever know

♪ I'll think of life the way it was before

♪ Imagine what the future has in store for you

♪ I'll take the time to waste 1,000 years

♪ Touch the face, wipe away the tears

♪ Stab the back, bite the hand that feeds

(ominous music)

(tires screech)

- Come on, there it is back there, come on!

Come on, guys, let's go.

Vampire city, come on, let's do it.

Get me some light.

Oh, wow. (siren wails)

All right, come on in tight.

Starting tight on her and then pull back

and open up to include me.

Get him outta here, will ya?

- [Officer] Police, move aside.

- This is Frazer Kelly, I'm reporting live from Metropolis

a Melrose Avenue lingerie boutique and a scene

of yet another grizzly feast by the vampire killer.

Less than 10 minutes ago, I received an anonymous tip

at the Channel 3 news desk.

The shocking tip told me that one of the mannequins

was not a mannequin at all, but a corpse,

and very likely the vampire killer's victim number three.

We've arrived here before the police

to bring you this exclusive.

- You must be Michael Fury.

I'm Lori, from the agency.

The one you've been corresponding with.

I'm really sorry I couldn't meet you at the airport.

I got a hot tip from a friend of mine

and I came right down here.

Looks like another one.

(laughs) You are Michael Fury, aren't you?

The one who's been paying me to investigate

these so-called vampire murders?

- That's right.

(Lori chuckles)

- You had me scared there for a minute.

It's just like the others.

Someone is using sharpened incisors

to bite into the necks of the victims,

and all the blood is drained out.

But there's no evidence, there's never any evidence.

- [Frazer] And they appear no closer

to solving the hideous crimes.

- I see. - Now, here tonight.

Another victim.

This is Frazer Kelly for Channel 3 News.

Now back to the studio.

- Well, my car is right here.

Why don't I take you to your condo?

- [Woman] That really freaked me out.

I don't even wanna eat dinner.

- [Man] I tell you, it makes me worry about you

walking out here by yourself.

- [Woman] Don't think I'm gonna work here anymore.

(car engine starts)

- Yes, ma'am?

- Fill it up, please?

And the victims are apparently killed someplace else.

Maybe the same place every time.

And then they're brought to the place where they're found

and the rest you know from my letters.

You want a Coke?

Anyway, I found a great place for you while you're here.

It's a brand new condo.

(tires screech) It's unfurnished.

That's what you wanted, isn't it?

- Have you seen it?

- I spent a whole day and night there.

- Really?

- Well, after all our correspondence,

I kinda felt like I knew you.

- My letters were very business-like, as I recall.

- I know, (chuckles) but I like to read between the lines.

I made up a whole personality for you.

I sat in your place,

wondering how you'd decorate the living room,

which bedroom you'd pick to sleep in,

what your bed would look like, things like that.

- What do you do in the agency?

- Research assistant on the graveyard shift.

- All those summaries you sent me were unusually thorough.

- Well, I'm very interested in the occult.

Not just vampires, a lot of things.

Actually, I'm kind of a joke around the office,

so when your first letter came in, they kinda thought--

- They thought we deserved each other.

- I've read all the vampire books.

Seen just about every vampire movie ever made.

Wouldn't it be incredible if there really was

a vampire behind all this?

You know, a lot of people think it's possible.

- Because of the puncture wounds in the throats

of the three dead girls?

- Well, you saw them.

They looked just like fang bites and everyone knows

vampires must kill to live.

- I think people do see too many movies.

(ominous music)

Why must what you call a vampire kill?

Why couldn't they take just enough blood to exist?

And let their quarry live.

- Quarry?

That's an interesting way of putting it.

- I'm tired.

I'd like to get to the apartment.

(door slams)

(car engine starts)

- Michael?

What are you really looking for?

- I'm looking for a killer.

(car engine starts)

(sinister music)

(muffled radio chatter)

(muffled radio chatter)

- Nice slow pan from Billy Blue Shirt,

and hold, beat.

Beat.

Now nice slow zoom, real slow, real slow, yeah.

That's good.

Good.

Yeah.

(ominous tones)

Now, pull back real slow, yes, real slow.

Hell, somethin' moved down there, I know it did.

(strong wind blows)

- [Michael] Looking for something?

- Jesus Christ, man, you scared the shit outta me.

Are you a cop?

Are you a cop?

- Something happening down there?

- No, nothing's happening down there.

- Why are you filming nothing?

- Look, first of all, this isn't film.

It's videotape, all right?

Second of all, I'm an artist, I don't have to explain to you

or anybody else in the world what I'm doing.

Huh, art.

- But there's nothing happening down there.

- You'd be surprised what you can do in the editing process.

Bam.

- [Michael] What's your video about?

- It's a goddamn documentary, all right?

- About the murders?

- Yeah.

About the murders.

I mean, why else would I be here,

at this hour, freezing my ass off, huh?

And listen, don't try and rip me off, all right?

That happened to me once before,

and I didn't take kindly to it, you understand?

First they steal your ideas, then your creativity,

and then goes your bank book.

And I tell you wha...

(ominous music)

Jesus.

(chuckles)

Now, was that strange or was that strange?

Oh, man.

I don't know.

(tense music)

(sighs)

Jesus Christ.

(dramatic chords)

(chuckles) Get a hold of yourself, man.

Just get a hold of yourself.

(car engine starts)

(tires screech)

- Hey, watch out!

Geez!

Van!

- [Van] Not tonight.

(suspenseful music)

- Van, honey, you're almost an hour late.

- Let's go, inside.

- Now suddenly he's in a big hurry.

- [Woman] Maybe we should think about this?

- What're you, crazy?

I told you this was easy money.

Besides, we'll go to Drac's after.

We'll have a really good time.

- No, forget it, um, I'm leaving!

Just tell Van I lost my nerves, okay?

- Oh, come on, don't be a chickenshit, please!

- [Woman] I am chickenshit and I'll wait for you

at Drac's tonight, okay?

Bye, baby! (ominous tones)

("Fire in the Rain")

♪ Right from the beginning

♪ Clouds begin to pour

♪ But we were all too young to fear the power of the storm

♪ If we had lost our hopes we knew our

♪ Dreams would still remain

♪ Because nothing is impossible

♪ Nothing burns like fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain

♪ Thunder rocked the mountains

♪ Lightning cracked the sky

♪ No one that survived this hurricane would dare deny

♪ If fate had played it's part

♪ There would be nothing to explain

♪ What was once a very tiny spark

♪ Is now a blazing fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain

♪ Rain

♪ Now see the sun coming out

♪ From behind the darkest clouds

♪ Say goodbye to the storm

♪ As it moves across the sky

♪ See the fire burning brighter than it ever has before

♪ Moving close, touch the flame

♪ Burn like fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain

(lively background chatter)

("So Strange")

♪ I've heard that voice before somehow

♪ Can't imagine

♪ It speaks words without knowing what they mean

♪ And I've seen that face before somewhere

♪ Can't remember

♪ It seems as if it happened in a dream

♪ I laugh and now you know

♪ That some things never change

♪ I laugh again because to me you seem

♪ So strange

♪ So strange

♪ So strange

(woman moans)

(peaceful music)

(woman moans)

(woman moans) (ominous tones)

(woman gasps)

(distorted rumbling)

(knocks)

(knocks)

(footsteps clack)

- Michael?

- [Michael] I took a chance you might still be awake.

- Come on in.

I do my best work at night.

Do you want a glass of wine?

- [Michael] No, thank you.

Your last letter said you were arranging a list of suspects.

- I have friends in high places.

Well, a couple anyway.

There's over 2,000 names on that list.

- Mm-hm.

Amazing.

What a city.

- Only the first

They have records of kinkiness.

L.A. you know.

- Any conclusions?

- None that you'd be interested in.

- [Michael] Try me.

- Not one of them is a vampire.

- You're right.

That doesn't interest me.

But you're the believer.

What makes you so sure?

- None of them have been seen in daylight.

- Oh, yes.

The lore.

Can't be seen in mirrors, afraid of garlic.

All those sorts of things.

(Lori chuckles)

- Is that a smile?

- You're really obsessed with this vampire business.

- Put my personal beliefs aside for a second,

I also happen to be a damn good investigator.

And rule one is, you work from a theory that fits the facts.

Now, the facts are, we've got a killer running around,

who drains his victim of blood.

Now, what are the possibilities?

Who drinks blood?

- Nobody said the killer drinks the blood.

- Puncture wounds?

- Just kinkiness. - (chuckles) No.

Rule two is you don't alter the facts to fit the theory.

The facts say vampire.

- Look, the victims' bodies are still at the morgue, right?

- [Lori] As far as I know.

- Well, doesn't legend say

that the vampire's victim becomes a vampire?

- That depends.

- Look, the dead are dead, no matter how they got that way.

Dead and that's all.

- Do you know that some people believe that the spirit

hangs around for a while?

That if you can get in touch with them,

they can tell you things?

- [Michael] I suppose you're one of the people

who believes that?

- Actually, I am trying to get in touch with them.

Maybe one of the murder victims can tell me something.

- I need someone to investigate the living.

Let's stick to reality.

- There are all kinds of reality.

(Michael chuckles)

- Good luck.

Let me know when the spirits talk to you.

- (chuckles) You're funny, huh?

- I didn't mean to make fun of you,

but you must admit it's a little bizarre.

- That's okay, it was worth it just to see you smile again.

- [Michael] I should go.

- Really? So soon?

Why don't you stay and watch some of this movie with me?

- More vampires?

No, thank you.

- When will I see you again?

- I'll call you in a day or two.

(chuckles)

Jet lag.

Tell me something.

What're you gonna do with your vampire, if you find him?

- (chuckles) I don't know.

(Michael chuckles)

- Goodnight.

Lori.

(suspenseful music)

(ominous tones) (music intensifies)

(intense distorted tones)

(knocks)

(knocks)

- Up and at 'em, morning glory.

Look, I brought you some groceries.

Oh, listen, I'm sorry that we didn't make it

to Drac's last night.

You know Van, one thing led to another and,

well, we never made it out of the house.

Jenny, it's almost 8:30.

Don't you have to be at work?

Jenny?

Jenny.

Jenny?

Jenny?

Jenny, Jenny!

Oh, God, you scared me.

(Jenny groans)

Well, listen, I brought some groceries.

Breakfast in 15 minutes?

(Jenny groans)

- The thing about him is his eyes.

The way they look at you.

It's kind of hypnotic, you know?

- Oh, brother, are you gone.

Michael Fury, huh?

That's a nice name.

So, when are you gonna see Mr. Fury again?

- Um...

Tonight at Drac's.

- No, you're not.

You promised me that you'd do the video with me and Van!

- No more, Cherry.

- But he's a famous artist and I promised him!

- He's using us.

- He just got some kind of big grant, he's rich!

- [Jenny] He's weird.

- Will you at least come along and keep me company?

Please?

- [Radio Host] You've won $1,000!

- Oh, my god! - You've won $1,000!

- [Caller] No way.

- [Host] The station that just loves to give you money!

(horn honks) (lively rock music)

And now for all you people sitting in that big gridlock

called the 405, here's Jay Willis!

- [Jay] The number two lane closed for a couple minutes on

transition, harbor northbound to the Santa Monica westbound.

- [Van] Oh, that's good.

Very good, yes, I like that.

Huh, open up, open up.

Yes.

That's nice. (chuckles)

Wet your lips, you make me, I'll tell ya.

(Cherry giggles)

- [Jenny] What's this thing here?

- That's a vampire hunting sword, 16th Century.

Just put it down, put it down.

Thank you, step away. (Jenny chuckles)

Very good.

Right there, right there, yes.

Oh, the lick, yes, lick it.

Beautiful.

Just move around, scoot around.

That's good, yes, yes.

- "Woman found dead.

"Blood drained."

Oh, here's one about the third victim.

Metropolis, two nights ago.

- [Van] Oh, gorgeous.

Yes, that's good.

- Do you think maybe it's really a vampire?

- Vampires.

(chuckles) Right.

- Well, you know, Van's great-great

grandmother was a vampire hunter.

- Get out, there's no such thing.

- Jenny, babe, try not to comment on things

you know absolutely nothing about, all right?

Come here.

Let me have the chicken.

You've had enough to eat, all right?

You're always eatin', sit down.

Okay, now look at me, look at me.

(Cherry and Jenny giggle)

My god, girls.

(Cherry and Jenny giggle)

Do you see the, listen to me.

Look at me, look at me, look at me, good.

(Cherry and Jenny giggle)

Jenny, just take your finger.

Look at me.

Thank you, take your finger and just, very lightly,

with your fingernail, touch the egg.

The egg. - The egg's over here.

- Come on.

Good, now just hold it right there.

Hold on, hold on.

(Cherry and Jenny giggle)

- That's tickles. - Don't move, don't move.

- Your hands are freezing. - Just touch it.

- My hands are greasy. - For Christ sakes.

Just touch the egg!

Take your index finger.

(Cherry and Jenny giggle) Gently...

(all laugh)

Oh, this could get weird.

Take your index finger, not on foot, on the egg.

Very good, right there, now just hold it.

(Cherry screams) (Jenny laughs)

Oh, that's good, don't wipe it off, don't wipe it off.

Don't wipe it, oh no, back off, back off!

(Cherry and Jenny laugh) Hold it right there.

Hold that, hold that, hold your leg, hold your leg!

(Cherry and Jenny laugh)

God, yes, absolute master.

The curves.

The texture, shadows, texture shadows.

Tantalizing ambiguities. (chuckles)

This is fantastic.

(ominous tones)

(tape rewinds)

("She's Tuff")

- [Host] A little love in the fast lane from Bill Cool.

- [Anchor] The afternoon commute home, Tom?

- [Tom] Pauline, southbound 55 there's an accident

in the number two lane.

(radio chatter overlaps each other)

- [Host] Hot new group, Durango 95!

(lively rock music) (muffled radio chatter)

(suspenseful music)

- The darkness is his domain.

To be seen yet unseen is no difficult task,

for one such as he.

The shadow you thought you did not see

flitting against the walls of your darkened bedroom.

It was there.

The sound you could almost hear!

His voice in another form!

Yes.

The hiss of distant snakes.

Though his power over beasts is great, it is not limitless.

No, sadly, no.

Certain animals do not obey him.

Indeed, would hurt him, if they could!

Small dogs.

Especially Pekingese, Dachshunds, Cocker Spaniels!

They are more to my liking.

The blood is the life.

In truth, his blood is pale as water.

Pale blood.

(ominous tones)

Pale blood.

(eerie tones)

- Hey, Lori.

(Lori gasps)

Are you okay?

- Yeah.

Let's go sit down.

- Though his powers are greater than his limitations,

the night only is his,

yet how completely he dominates the darkness.

He can become shadow itself and flow through windows,

like water through cloth!

To be heard, yet unheard.

His voice in another form.

Yes, the hiss of-- - Hi, Jenny.

- Hi. - Distant snakes!

The blood is the life.

- I was afraid you wouldn't come.

(Michael chuckles)

- I'm here.

- We spent this wonderful night together.

There are so many things I want to know about you.

- Jenny.

- Michael, I think I'm falling in love with--

- Jenny.

(suspenseful music)

Listen to me.

You don't know me.

You don't who I am, or what I am.

I can't let myself love.

Anyone.

So, please.

No more questions.

Jenny.

(Jenny chuckles)

- So?

- So what?

- Are you going to give me your telephone number or not?

- Barkeep, double scotch, rocks, (speaks foreign language).

- Van, Van, there's Jenny.

- Where? - Sittin' right over there.

- Jenny, Jenny.

Just the girl I wanna see.

Hi, Jenny. - Hi, Jenny.

- [Jenny] Hi, have you met Michael Fury?

(ominous tones)

- I...

- How is the video going?

- It's goin'.

- So listen, do you mind if we join you?

- No, look, we gotta go.

- Wait a minute, we just got here.

- You wanna stay here, you stay, I got work to do.

- [Cherry] Van!

- [Van] Damn it, every time I turn around.

- Who was that?

- I told you he was weird.

- Listen, I don't wanna hear it right now, okay?

- I've gotta go.

- Hey, but what about tonight?

I mean, we're supposed to-- - Maybe later, huh?

- [Michael] Would you like a drink?

- No, I'll get it myself, thanks.

- Tell me about him.

- Van?

He's an artist, I've been doing a video with him.

- Really?

I'd like to see it. (Jenny chuckles)

- Oh, God, no, you wouldn't wanna see any of that stuff.

- Why not?

- It's an erotic video.

I wouldn't want you to think of me that way.

- I don't.

- [Van] Where is it?

I know what I saw, I know it's here somewhere.

Come on, Van, it's the big time now.

There.

There it is, right there.

(suspenseful music) (keyboard clacks)

- "Van Vandameer. (printer buzzes)

"Date of birth, October 17th, 1945.

"Place of birth, Peoria, Illinois.

"Criminal record, none.

"Medical history.

"Three instances of psychiatric confinement.

"Memberships and associations.

"Demon Defenders.

"International Brotherhood of Dragon Slayers.

"UFO Alert.

"UFO Space Virus Healers Association.

"UFO Watchers Union.

"Friends of Dracula.

"Sky Watchers United.

"Alien Identification Network.

"Psychotic drug episodes.

"Fight during seminar on nature of demons.

"A collapse at UFO convention." (laughs)

- Where?

Where?

Back it up.

Back up real slow, slow.

Then, again.

There.

My god, now you see him, now you don't.

(sighs)

Nobody moves that fast.

Nobody.

Oh, Jesus, Van, you got yourself a vampire.

(chuckles)

(sighs)

Damn it, this is the kind of thing that happens

when your dreams come true, this...

Sure, fight him with a piece of wood.

Stupid.

You know what he's doing, he's using Jenny.

He's using her to watch over me.

Son of a bitch.

(keyboard clacks)

(computer bleeps)

(keyboard clacks)

(computer bleeps)

(Lori sighs)

- You just don't understand.

You're a beautiful girl, full of energy.

So beautiful.

You're so young.

You have so much life to look forward to.

- Do you really wanna see Van's tapes?

I can get some of them for you, do you want me to?

- No.

I can handle it myself.

(Jenny sighs)

- I would do anything for you.

You know that, don't you?

- [Michael] I know.

(eerie music)

(intense ominous tones)

(Lori chuckles)

How did you get in here?

- I, uh, I rented this condo for you, remember?

I got the keys.

What's in the suitcase?

- I'm not paying your agency to investigate me.

Shouldn't you be looking for a murderer?

- I am looking for a murderer.

- Meaning what?

I'm a suspect?

- Everyone's a suspect.

(laughs)

- Spoken like a master detective.

- I don't think this is funny.

(chuckles)

I did a computer search on you.

You don't exist.

- Computers makes mistakes. (Lori chuckles)

If I were the killer, why would I hire you?

- Maybe you want someone to

uncover evidence you left behind.

- No, my letters came from Europe.

- That could be arranged.

- You're actually serious.

- You're not a killer.

- Then what are you searching for?

- I was hoping you were the real thing.

- "The real thing?"

- You know what I mean.

(Michael sighs)

- What luck.

I come all this way,

and all I get are hallucinations.

Crazy people.

- What hallucinations?

(eerie music)

- Nevermind.

Forget it.

- Please, Michael, I need to know, what are you seeing?

- What I'm seeing is none of your business.

- No, it is, you see I'm causing what you're seeing!

- No.

No, you don't have that kind of power, you can't.

- How do you know?

- Because it's just not possible.

- It is possible.

I've been working for those visions, you see?

Only, they've been coming to you!

- If that's true, what you're doing is extremely dangerous.

You're playing with things you know nothing about.

Leave the dead alone!

- Michael, please.

I need to know what you're seeing.

(distorted screams)

- Blood, I'm seeing blood.

Sometimes I think I'm going mad.

Satisfied?

(Lori sighs)

- You're not mad, Michael.

I don't know what you are,

but you're not mad.

- I'm far from home.

Far from home.

And I'm tired.

I need to rest.

(suspenseful music)

(sighs)

(moans)

(gasps)

(groans)

(gasps)

(sighs)

- [Lori] No.

No.

(moans)

(Michael gasps)

(Michael pants)

(moans)

(Michael groans)

- [Michael] No!

(gasps)

(breathes heavily)

(Michael and Lori moan)

(gasps)

No!

Stop!

(Lori moans)

(Lori grunts)

(door slams) (Lori gasps)

- Michael?

Michael?

Michael.

(sighs)

- [Radio Host] Right now for you early risers, it's music--

- [Radio Host] In Los Angeles, the weather for the southland

is more of the same, low clouds here this morning,

hot and smoggy but sunny this afternoon.

Highs generally in the mid-80s in the downtown area...

- [Radio Host] It's going to be busy on the Santa Monica

freeway east and westbound, a lot of heavy traffic

this morning on the Santa Monica freeway.

Had an earlier accident, eastbound,

before the harbor area in the fast lane.

That has been cleared, southbound on the 405.

♪ Love is just a fable

- Oh, Michael. ♪ And a wrung out fantasy

♪ You made me able

♪ To look deeper right into me

♪ I know the consequence (radio chatter)

(overlapping radio chatter)

- [Radio Host] And potentially lethal shellfish from

Washington State, the scallops contain vasotoxin.

That's a naturally-occurring poison that can cause--

- [Radio Host] And Cincinnati, five-nothing.

Chicago four, Philadelphia one.

Montreal took Pittsburgh five-four in 11 innings,

and the Mets ended their seven game losing streak.

(overlapping radio chatter)

- Van?

Is anybody home?

(suspenseful music)

(gasps) Hi, um, um...

- How you doin'?

- I was, oh God, you scared me, I was looking for Cherry.

- Ah.

It's amazing, you know, I was just thinking about you.

It's like you're reading my mind.

Anyhow, Cherry won't be back for a little while.

- I really gotta go now. - No, you know what?

I have something I wanna show ya.

- No, I really gotta go, Van.

- No, look, it won't take long at all, it's beautiful.

Very special.

So, how you doin'? - Fine.

- Are you well? - Uh-huh.

- You look so pretty today. - Thank you.

Will this take long? - Jenny, you could be a star.

With such pretty eyes.

I want you to trust me.

Come on.

Go on.

- (groans) What's that awful smell?

- Garlic.

I painted 60 gallons of garlic juice on all the walls.

Well, I mean almost all of 'em.

(Jenny chuckles)

- [Jenny] Vampires?

Are you trying to keep vampires out?

- No.

I'm trying to keep a vampire from getting out.

- Oh.

So, where is the vampire?

(Van chuckles)

(chuckles)

Hey, don't look at me. - No?

- I came here in bright sunshine.

And garlic,

and crosses,

don't do a thing to me.

- Nothin', huh?

Well, you see, the vampire's not here yet.

- "Yet?" - Yet.

(steel rattles)

But don't worry.

He's comin'.

Gonna be here real soon.

- Look, Van, that's real interesting, but--

- Oh, do you what's interesting?

Look right up there, right there.

And over there, and right behind ya.

- (chuckles) I don't see anything.

- Well look, right there, it's a hidden video camera.

You see, first of all, I'm gonna capture the vampire,

then I'm gonna tape him feeding,

and then I'm gonna become the most famous artist in America.

I mean, it's one, it's two, it's three.

- That's a very clever idea, Van.

- I know, very clever, huh?

- But I really-- - No, no, Jenny, Jenny.

(kisses)

You're so cold, so cold.

What's the matter, you think I'm gonna steal your purse, hm?

Hey.

(chuckles)

Are you feeling guilty, hm?

- Guilty about what? - "Guilty about what?"

About this. (tense music)

About swiping my tapes for your boyfriend.

(door thuds)

You think I'm stupid?

You think I'm dumb?

You think I'm retarded?

Don't you think I know what you

and that blood sucker are up to?

- [Jenny] What're you talking about?

- Michael Fury, that's what I'm talking about.

That blood sucker.

- Are you crazy or what? - Oh, yeah?

(Jenny gasps and screams) I'm crazy, I'm fucking crazy!

I'm crazy like a fox.

I had a plan all laid out, where these murders

were gonna look like the work of a vampire.

- Did you kill those? - Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I killed them and believe me, it wasn't easy.

'Cause those things don't come that good to me.

'Cause you see, vampires, they're so lonely,

and they keep searching and searching,

and searching for their own kind.

- [Jenny] You're crazy!

- I'm crazy.

Your boyfriend fell right into the trap.

- You're crazy!

- I'm crazy.

(Jenny screams)

(chuckles)

The mark of the beast.

I'm crazy?

(Jenny gasps)

Look at me.

Look at me!

I'm crazy?

I'm right, I'm fuckin' right!

I'm crazy.

I'm right!

(Jenny sobs)

(laughs)

(zipper scrapes)

(footsteps clack)

(footsteps clack)

(zipper scrapes)

(Jenny gasps) (tense music)

No, no, no, no, don't fret, don't fret.

How you doin'?

Look what I got for ya.

(Jenny gasps) You know what this is?

This is the upper jaw of a Mexican vampire bat, huh?

(laughs) Fitting, isn't it?

- Please, Van. (pants)

- Now, don't you worry, don't you worry.

This isn't gonna hurt you one little bit.

(Jenny screams)

Oh-ho, Jesus! (chuckles)

Oh, we got gusher.

Oh, Christ.

(Jenny screams)

Okay, you're fine.

Hold that, hold that, good.

Just like Texas, you see.

The jugular's the one you want to hit.

Of course, your boyfriend was a little kinky.

He wasn't all that efficient.

(chuckles) God.

(eerie music)

(distorted screams)

(hums melodically)

(machinery clacks and whirs)

It's ironic, isn't it?

I mean, I actually know how to do this better than he does.

Funny. (laughs)

No?

Okay, well we're gonna get you lookin' real pretty.

Fix that little bow of yours,

straighten this out for your boyfriend, okay, huh?

Here, hold still, hold still.

Very good, mm-hm.

Of course, you're not gonna be much use to him all empty,

so, uh, I think there's gonna be just enough left

to whet his appetite, for the meal to come. (chuckles)

(machine whines and rattles)

Just a little bit more, we're almost done, all right?

(tense music)

(machine whirs and hums)

(hums melodically)

(chuckles)

(hums melodically)

- Oh, Jenny.

(tense music)

- Sorry about that.

What?

Oh, no, no, this is wine.

I take the blood out, I certainly don't drink it.

Here's to you, brother.

- I'm not your brother.

- Well, we are a little touchy this evening,

aren't we, Mr. Fury?

- Why did you kill her?

It wasn't necessary.

- Look, you might wanna do things half-assed,

but if somebody's gonna do somethin' right,

they should do it right.

- You killed them all.

- Of course I did.

And I've got videotape of it, it's brilliant.

I drained each one of them bloodless.

Just like you'd have done it.

- I haven't killed in a very long time.

- Well, that's a goddamn shame. (chuckles)

I mean, it's therapeutic as hell.

God.

You must be so lonely.

So lonely.

There are not many of you left, are there?

- You're right, there are few of us left.

Now all I find are perverts.

- [Van] Perverts?

- And madmen, like you.

- "Madmen."

- You shouldn't have killed her.

(sighs)

(music intensifies)

(gun bangs)

(gun bangs)

("Bite The Hand That Feeds")

♪ Think of things that made you cry when you were young

♪ Realize at last your life has just begun

♪ Think of lonely places far away

♪ I'm sorry but I don't know what to say

- Yeah, yeah.

He's the real McCoy and you, Van,

you, my man, are the one who caught him.

(suspenseful music) Oh, my god, no.

Sweet Jesus! (gasps)

Easy now.

God, he is real.

(chuckles)

(Michael grunts)

("Bite The Hand That Feeds")

(Michael groans)

♪ Close your eyes, remember me from long ago

♪ Never say a word, no one will ever know

♪ I'll think of life the way it was before

♪ Imagine what the future has in store for you

♪ I'll take the time to waste 1,000 years

♪ Touch the face, wipe away the tears

♪ Speak the truth, break the heart that bleeds

♪ Stab the back, bite the hand that feeds

(Lori sighs) (somber music)

(Van gasps)

- Oh, shit.

Damn it.

(sighs)

Oh, come on, Van, maintain your vigil.

You know, who knows, man, don't know what that beast'll do.

(sighs)

(ominous music) (Lori breathes heavily)

(Lori gasps)

(Lori gasps)

(Michael and Lori pant)

- No, Lori.

No.

No, Lori.

No!

(gun bangs)

(Lori pants)

(crickets chirp)

(dog barks)

- Cherry?

About time.

Dinner. (chuckles)

Cherry?

♪ Cherry

♪ Cherry pie

♪ Oh

Cherry?

Cherry!

- Voodoo Van?

- Jesus.

Who the hell are you, what're you doing here?

- I'm here to see Jenny.

- [Van] You're a friend of Jenny's?

- Sort of.

- Well, that's very coincidental, isn't it?

I'm just waiting for another friend of Jenny's.

I know you, don't I?

Yeah, I've seen you someplace.

You're a friend of Cherry's, right?

- No. - No?

I'm sorry, what's your name? - Lori.

- [Van] Lori, I'm Van.

My God, you'd be perfect.

- For what?

- You're not gonna believe this, but uh,

I'm doing a film and Cherry was supposed to play the role,

but she didn't show up.

You're absolutely perfect for the part.

- Really? - Uh-huh.

- [Lori] What part?

- Well, it's the star of the film.

Hasn't Jenny told you about this?

- Oh, yeah, I think she did. - You know who I am, right?

And you know what I do, right?

- Video artist, right? - Right, right.

Well, Lori, let me tell you, whoever plays that role

is gonna end up very famous.

- Really? - Uh-huh.

- Famous?

- Oh, yeah, famous.

- Can I see Jenny now?

- Yeah.

So I bet you're wondering what this film is about, right?

- Oh, yeah. - But you know what?

I don't know about you but I'm so sick

of the male-dominated superiority in this business.

The only thing that's respected about a woman

is the size of her breasts,

or the amount of blood that you can throw all over her.

(ominous music)

- Come on, really, where is Jenny?

- "Where's Jenny." (chuckles)

Step right in, my dear.

Welcome to fame and fortune.

(door slams)

(lock clicks) (keys clink)

- No closer.

- I knew it.

I knew it from the moment I met you.

(eerie tones)

- Don't.

Don't look at me that way.

- I never really believed this would happen for me.

- I wish we had never met.

- You don't mean that.

- God look at her, she acts like she has no will of her own.

Oh, yes, that's nice.

Vampire foreplay.

Go on, go on, bite her, bite.

No, damn it, you gotta bite her!

Yeah, maybe now.

Maybe, come on, bite her.

Yes, yes, once in the thrall of the beast,

you're a blood slave, nothing more.

(chuckles)

But he hasn't even bitten her yet.

Yeah, maybe now.

Maybe he'll bite her now.

(Lori breathes heavily)

(ominous music)

(Lori laughs)

Oh, my God.

She's one of 'em, too.

- I couldn't have hoped.

- Never go away.

(sighs)

- You need blood.

(tense music)

- Oh, my God.

Son of a bitch!

(door clangs) (concrete rumbles)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(groans)

(steel clinks)

(screams)

(glass shatters) (groans)

(grunts)

(groans)

(groans)

(grunts)

(groans)

(groans)

(grunts)

(groans)

Jesus.

What a fuckin' nightmare.

(laughs)

(groans)

(ominous music)

No!

No!

Sit down, gentlemen.

Please, please sit down.

What you are about to see is one of the most dramatic

pieces of video art that has ever been created.

Mr. Oswald, will you please hold still?

It is a work of true conviction, of true commitment,

and years and years of single-minded dedication.

Now, you might ask, "what is conviction?"

Conviction is sacrifice.

"What is commitment?"

Commitment is sacrifice!

"What is dedication?"

Dedication is sacrifice.

And finally, you might say--

- [PA System] Dr. Lang to orthopedics, west wing.

Dr. Lang to orthopedics, west wing.

- And no one, gentlemen,

no one understands that better than me.

There, that's your key scene, Mr. Oswald!

Now, pay attention,

'cause they can screw with these tapes magnetically.

Oh, yeah, they can do that.

Yeah, see, see?

Bullet hits, right through the chest, but it doesn't matter.

You can shoot these son of a bitches all day long.

What's the matter, am I boring you?

Well, how's this, huh, look what they did to me.

These are vampire bites!

(Oswald grunts)

No, no, no, please don't take 'em.

I'm just gettin' to the primo stuff.

This is where this guy, Michael,

actually turns into a mutant bat!

I mean, look at it, for Christ sake, look at that!

I actually had footage of him changing,

and then rising from the dead.

(Oswald grunts wildly)

(chuckles)

Got footage of him making love, Mr. Oswald.

(chuckles) (Oswald grunts)

X-rated love scenes, Mr. Oswald.

(laughs) (Oswald grunts wildly)

I'm going to like it here.

(sighs)

(wind howls)

(ominous music)

Look, I wasn't saying nothing bad about you.

No.

I mean, we were just watching the film, okay?

It's kinda like we're friends, you know?

I mean, we've been through things together.

Sort of like friends, right?

I mean, we were just watching the film, it's...

Okay?

(chuckles)

I'm just gonna...

("Bite The Hand That Feeds")

♪ Close your eyes, remember me from long ago

♪ Never say a word, no one will ever know

♪ I'll think of life the way it was before

♪ Imagine what the future has in store for you

♪ I'll take the time to waste 1,000 years

♪ Touch the face, wipe away the tears

♪ Speak the truth, break the heart that bleeds

♪ Stab the back, bite the hand that feeds

("Fire in the Rain")

♪ Now see the sun coming out

♪ From behind the darkest clouds

♪ Say goodbye to the storm

♪ As it moves across the sky

♪ See the fire burning brighter than it ever has before

♪ Moving close, touch the flame

♪ Burn like fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain

♪ Fire in the rain