Original subtitles

NARRATOR: Willenden.

It's no sort of place, really.

It's not a place a man comes to die.

It's a place a man passes on O41.

Heads.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BANG]

Clara.

Clara.

Clara!

Clara!

Clara, will you no done finish yet.

The end of the world is nigh, girl.

It official.

And we only got three months left to tell the people.

It's our duty to warn the poor sinners that otherwise are

going to find themselves roasting

their entrails in the threefold files of hell come January 1.

And that, miss young girl, that take devotion and dedication.

Ain't that right, Dockers?

Uh.

[ENGINE REVING]

[SMACK]

I'll thank you to remember that only 144,000 witnesses

of Jehovah will sit in the court of the Lord on judgement day.

You've got no time for boys, Clara Bowden.

These are the final days.

And God is waiting for his work to be done.

[INAUDIBLE] can be saved.

Some people have done such heap of sinning,

it's too late for them to be making eyes at Jehovah.

Ain't that right, Dockers?

Hm.

[KNOCKING]

I'm from the [INAUDIBLE] Kingdom Hall, where

we, the witness of Jehovah, are waiting the Lord to come

and grace us with him presence, bringing with him

the threefold fire of Armageddon.

[MULTIPLE DOOR SLAMS]

And on that day, only the precious few will saved.

[KNOCKING]

Morning, Pitney.

I'm from the [INAUDIBLE] Kingdom Hall.

I have some reading material for your perusal.

[KNOCKING]

Go away!

Go away!

Fucking go back to Africa.

I'm from Jamaica.

[ENGINE REVVING]

What's in the bag?

End of the world?

Fuck.

Do you want to come for a drink?

Ryan Topps, by the way.

Clara Bowden.

Cheers, hey?

This, this end of the world, it's definite, yeah?

January 1.

My mother got a letter from America, confirmed it.

In that case, we ought to make the most of the time

we got left logically.

[SOUNDS OF SEX]

Hello, love.

Looking for business?

Oh, what do you mean?

[DOOR BUZZER]

Artie.

Artie Jones.

Uh.

Samad, Archie, Samad Miah Iqbal.

Your old comrade in arms.

Samad?

My god.

Samad.

So how long are you thinking of staying?

Staying, Archie?

I have returned to the bosom of the mother country

to start a whole new life.

Here, England?

A dream has come true.

I'm about to be married.

Now, Archie, we have nearly a whole lifetime to catch up on.

Start at the start, old fellow, and omit nothing.

Well, after the war, which you know about I

came home and married Ophelia.

Ophelia.

And then just recently, she went made and divorced me

and I moved to the flat.

Oh.

Nothing germane in between?

I got a job in printing firm.

We specialize in perforated mail outs.

Archie, old friend, do you want my advice?

You have picked up a wrong life in the cloakroom of existence.

You know what you need, Archie?

You need a new life.

End of the world.

January 1.

Hi.

Hi.

[SUCKING IN]

It's good stuff, that mill.

[INAUDIBLE]

Yeah, Ryan.

So, what the commune needs is like a theme

for New Year's Eve.

I mean, that while Hulkmany vibe is like so 1965.

--[INAUDIBLE] January the first is officially the end

of the world as we know it.

The doors at the center will be marked

with the sign of the beast.

And all creation will be engulfed

in the threefold fire of hell.

Wow.

I have some reading material for your perusal if you like.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BED KNOCKING AGAINST WALL]

Clara?

Clara?

Clara?

Hello, Mother.

You're back early.

This is Ryan.

He is interested in the teachings of Jehovah.

Well, as it happens, we're just going down to Kingdom

Hall for the evening service.

Why you don't come along, here the voice of the Lord, my son?

What a good idea.

Now, boy, we're going to start at the start.

For in the beginning was the Word, And the Word of the Lord

is wonderful.

[ALARM CLOCK]

Come Archie, we have much to do today.

Thirty years, Archie.

Thirty long years, I have been waiting

to don this wedding suit.

Well, um, nothing like being prepared, I suppose.

You do not understand, Archie.

My marriage to Elsana was arranged

by our respective families in 1946.

What's taken you so long?

She wasn't born until 1955.

You haven't met her.

Her family are some of the best people

in Bangladesh, Archie, the very best, extremely good blood.

And nothing, nothing is more important than blood.

But, as an added bonus, their women traditionally

have enormous melons.

Ah, here we are.

This is my cousin's little restaurant.

How utterly vulgar.

I expected something better than this, I must say.

But he insists we have the wedding feast here.

What can I do?

Family.

There he is, the fat, greedy pig.

Cousin Samad.

Thinks he's above everyone, the lazy snob.

Well, he needs a cheap, fucking wedding feast.

Ay, yi, yi.

Family.

Hah, cousin.

Salam alekum.

Alekum salam.

What a pleasure to see you again.

Well, It's too late to decorate now, I suppose.

This linen has seen better days, cousin.

We shall need better stuff for the wedding.

Perhaps you'll care to inspect the kitchen, cousin.

All in good time.

First I want to discuss the menu.

I think I'll just wait outside.

Fish masala, lobster with mustard.

She said to me, you see boy, it's

like I see you walking down your stairs,

and there's a missing step coming.

She says, just watch your step, Ryan.

[SCREAM, CRASH]

She's awake at last.

Oh, the Lord be praised.

Oh, Clara.

A miracle.

A miracle.

It's all right, Mother.

What happened?

What happened?

Why, the Lord give you and Ryan a sign, girl.

He put that bus there to say, stop.

Watch your step.

Ryan.

Where is Ryan?

Is he all right?

Oh, yes, darling.

Don't you worry.

He's here, right here waiting for you.

Ryan.

What you wearing?

Like you, Clara, I was asleep for many days, many nights.

And when I awoke, the Lord had spoken

to me through your mother.

What?

I need to talk to you, Clara, before it's too late.

All right, Ryan.

It's all right.

You just got a knock on the head.

Open your eyes.

On New Year's Day, the time of judgment will be upon us.

No.

In with a bad crowd, Clara.

Weed is evil.

They're lost.

It's too late for them, but not for you.

[SOBBING]

I'm crying with joy too, Clara.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Salam alekum.

[CHATTER_]

[DRUMMING, HORNS, BELLS RINGING]

Thank you.

Shut up you fucking Paki.

Shut the fucking right up, you Paki scum.

I'll call the fucking police.

Eh, you come down here and say that, you fucker.

I'll punch your ugly face out.

She seems nice enough.

[CLAPPING]

Little too much coconut, I'm afraid.

What?

Samad, where's the booze, old son.

We are Muslim, Archie.

Alcohol is forbidden us.

However, if you can keep a secret, he may provide.

Listen, Samad.

You ever think about, you know, the war, what happened.

What?

Well, you know.

What we did that time.

We did our duty, Archie.

Well, yes, but--

That's what we did.

But don't you ever feel, you know, bad about it?

You were a hero, Archie.

And that is why, today, I'm proud to call you my friend.

Archie, you feel depressed.

I can see that.

You feel guilty about the past, things you cannot change.

You feel overburdened by your dead-end job and

your lonely, childless life.

Am I right?

Yes.

Yes, that's it exactly.

Be quiet honest, Samad, I can't see

the point of going on any more.

Well never mind, something will turn up.

Come, Archie, to new lives and some [INAUDIBLE]

alive with opportunity.

Ah, Anything particular in mind, sir?

No, no, just something to kill myself with.

Ah, Well, my friend, You could go out in style

with our car of the week.

It's got the looks of a Ferrari, the liability

of a Mercedes, all yours, my friend, for under 400 quid.

Done.

Oh.

Missed you at the party, Arch.

I was there actually.

Oh.

Well, have you got something special planned for tonight?

Oh, yes, Mr. Hero.

I certainly have.

Happy New Year, Archie.

[LAUGHING]

Happy New Year.

[SINGING - "BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC"]

You shall go to the ball, Cinderella.

Heads.

Cousin.

Salam alekum, cousin.

I trust married life suits you, huh?

As a matter of fact, cousin, I have recently been

looking for paid employment.

Oh.

Yes.

Unfortunately, British economy being as it is currently,

three day week, et cetera.

You understand.

Cousin, I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about.

Whatever you want, please spell it out.

That's much better, cousin.

That's just perfect.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Sign this voucher.

Oh, Muhamed Ishmael.

Have you met Samad Miah Iqbal, a cousin on father's side?

Bit old to be a waiter, isn't he?

Unfortunately, you know how it is.

Family.

We do what we can, Muhamed Ishmael.

We do what we can.

Nice to meet you, Samad.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, mister.

No parking.

You'll get a fine.

No fucking parking.

[COUGHING]

Stupid idiot.

Listen to me, my friend, listen to me good.

We're Halal, kosher.

You want to die around here, I got to cut

your fucking throat first.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[MUSIC - "HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN"]

[SOUNDS OF A PARTY]

[INAUDIBLE] Might never happen.

You're beautiful.

My teeth get knocked out.

But me think to myself, come in the other world,

the Lord won't mind if I got no teeth.

When's this end of the world then?

About half hour.

Come join the picnic.

[MUSIC - "CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION"]

Here we go.

This is the beginning of a new era for all of us.

OK.

So keep together, children.

12, 11, 10, nine, eight, seven, six.

What?

Five.

Are you all right? four, three, two.

one.

[CLOCK CHIMES 12]

[CHEERING]

Did the whole of your life just flash

before your eyes [INAUDIBLE]?

It did, yeah.

Thing is, I was really in it.

[LAUGHING]

You's a good man, Archie.

Not exciting but good.

I'm glad you don't kill yourself.

Thank you.

Archie.

Wake up now.

It's a whole new beautiful day.

Yeah.

Yes, it is.

Guess what?

Bugger me, Archie.

A whole new life in the cloakroom of existence.

Morning, Archie, Mr. Hero wants to see you.

You been a naughty boy.

I should hope so.

[KNOCKING]

Now listen, Archie, I trust you.

Thank you, Mr. Hero.

Which is why I know I can trust you

to take this in the right way.

It's about the company dinner next month.

Were you and your fiance thinking of coming at all?

Well, I'm not going to lie to you, Archie.

I mean, I could fish around and find an excuse or two,

but you're not a mug, Archie.

You'd put two and two together.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Not really, Mr. Hero.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I'm not a racialist.

Now that Enoch Powell, he's a mad bastard

as far as I'm concerned, yeah?

But the thing is, a lot of people think he's got a point.

And right or wrong some of them work here.

You've got to admit, there comes a time when you have to say

to yourself, enough is enough.

And uh, there it is.

We're both men of the world, Archie.

A whitey.

A no good damn fool whitey.

And an unbeliever.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

Well, we're walking.

Come on.

Man, Archie's relatives, they sure are something, eh?

What a interesting ceremony, Mrs. Jones.

You know, I don't tell Archie yet,

but we're going to have a baby.

I asked the doctor what it will look like,

and him say anything could happen.

Might even have blue eyes.

Can you imagine that?

Twins.

I haven't told my husband yet.

Twins?

Girl, you're so small [INAUDIBLE].

When you going to tell him?

I don't know yet.

Archie say you don't meet your husband

until the day you marry him.

Yeah, it is true I married a stranger.

But you see, he had a sweet face, nice manners,

and his backside was in good shape for someone of his age.

Now, every time I learn something new about him,

I like him less.

So you see, Mrs. Jones, we were better off the way we were.

Clara.

Elsana.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Silence for the best man's speech.

It is your custom, I'm led to believe,

for the best men do embarrass the groom with tasteless

sexual anecdotes from his past.

But it is not my custom.

In my opinion, Archie Jones is a man

who deserves better than that.

Oh, yes, some people may think of Archie

as a bit of a nonentity, and even something a loser,

but I know of a different Archie.

Archie Jones, the war hero.

Samad.

He is far too modest to tell us this story of course,

but if you want to know the true metal of the man,

that Clara is marrying today, I enjoin you to listen.

One night in 1945, in the very last days of the Second World

War, Archie and I found ourselves under enemy fire

while escorting a prisoner back to headquarters,

but not just any prisoner.

This was a Nazi war criminal, a concentration camp doctor,

the notorious Devil of Dachau.

Archie, we stand at the moral crossroads and we must act.

Now, steady on, old son.

What me?

Look, I'm not saying he don't deserve to die.

Then do it, Jones.

Do it.

What if we are killed, Archie, and he is not?

What if he escapes?

What does this chance slips between our fingers

for all eternity.

Listen, let's toss for it, hey?

Head you do it, tails, it's me.

Tails, it's you.

Best of three.

Are you a coward, Jones?

What?

Then what is the matter with you?

Our children will be born of our actions.

This is your destiny, Jones.

Embrace it.

Get down.

[GUNFIRE]

A murderer?

You telling me I done married a murderer?

[VACUUM CLEANER]

Come on, buddy.

She'll get over it.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]