Original subtitles

CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LOOK AT THIS.

LOOK AT THAT, LITTLE SWEET.

LOOK AT THAT, LITTLE SWEETHEART.

HEY, CAN I TOUCH YOUR NOSE?

YEAH. COME ON, SWEETIE.

COME ON, SWEET ANGEL.

BOOM! PETER! PETER!

LOOK AT THAT FACE! LOOK AT THAT FACE!

MOMMY!

I HAVE TO WASH YOUR SISTER, TOO.

OKAY, MY SWEET BOY.

YEAH. YEAH.

AHH -- SCRUBBING, SCRUBBING, SCRUBBING, SCRUBBING!

MARGARET!

DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!

OH, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

LIZZY! GET THE CHAIN, HONEY.

YOU GOT IT?

YEAH.

DADDY THANKS YOU.

OOH! LOOK AT US!

COME ON, JUMP UP HERE. COME ON.

I THINK MOMMY MEANT THAT CRAYONS ARE NOT POISONOUS,

BUT CRAYONS ARE NOT GOOD TO EAT.

MARGARET! HONEY!

HI, BABY! HI.

KISS ME TOO, DADDY!

WE WERE GETTING WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

WELL, I LET THREE BUSES GO BY.

THEN THE ONE I GOT ON WAS STILL SO DAMN CROWDED,

I GOT OFF AND WALKED.

HERE, HOLD STILL.

LET DADDY TAKE HIS COAT OFF.

WANT TO GIVE IT TO DADDY?

NOTHING MUCH. YOU HUNGRY?

YEAH, I AM.

PUT ME BACK INTO THE TUB.

YOU HURT MY HAND!

YOU HURT MY HAND!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR MOTHER?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR MOTHER?

OH...HOLD MY LEGS.

Okay.

THANK YOU.

LIKE THAT?

CUT IT OUT.

OR LIKE THAT?

CUT IT OUT.

OR LIKE THAT?

OH!

I DARE YOU.

I DARE YOU.

SEE THIS LINE?

BAD.

OHHH.

YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE.

YOU TOUCHED ME.

OH! OH!

THE KIDS, THE KIDS, THE KIDS!

OW! OH, MY TOE!

SHH! QUIET, YOU RUFFIAN.

STOP IT.

OKAY. WHAT HAPPENED?

OHH! NO FAIR. NO FAIR, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

LOOK, I MEAN, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THE DECENCY

TO CALL ME A LITTLE BIT EARLIER.

THEN I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. NEVER MIND.

THAT WOMAN IS ABSOLUTELY UNTRUSTWORTHY!

PAUL, YOU THINK YOU COULD STAY WITH THE KIDS

FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS?

IN 20 MINUTES.

UH...NO, NO, YOU BETTER GO AHEAD.

OKAY.

WHAT ABOUT ELEANOR?

HI!

HELLO, SWEETHEART.

ROBBY!

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CAN I PLAY IN YOUR ROOM?

I CAN MAKE IT IN LESS THAN TWO HOURS.

WHAT ABOUT PAUL?

MARGARET, HE SUPPORTS THREE PEOPLE,

I SUPPORT THREE PEOPLE.

DID YOU EVER ASK YOURSELF

WHY YOU CONSIDER HIS TIME SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT?

YOU CAN LEAVE ROBBY WITH ME THIS AFTERNOON

IF YOU LIKE.

TRY TO BE BACK 00, OKAY?

OKAY.

Hey, Sweetie,

OKAY.

I APPRECIATE IT, ELEANOR.

CAN I BRING YOU ANYTHING?

WHEN DID IT START?

COUPLE OF WEEKS, I GUESS.

HMM.

ALL RIGHT, SIT UP, PLEASE, MARGARET.

AGAIN.

AGAIN.

IN THE COLUMBIA FORUM.

YOU MUST BE PROUD OF HIM.

AND DROP THE GOWN, PLEASE.

I LIKED HIS POINT

ABOUT OPPRESSED PEOPLE ACCEPTING THEIR SLAVERY,

AND THEN, WHEN THINGS IMPROVE,

WHEN THEY RAISE THE EXPECTATIONS,

THEN THEY REVOLT.

LIE DOWN, PLEASE.

YOUR HANDS ARE COLD.

BEING INVOLVED WITH IMPORTANT IDEAS.

AND HERE I AM LOOKING AFTER A HANDFUL OF WOMEN

ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHANGE YOUR WORK...

GO SOMEPLACE ELSE WHERE YOU FEEL MORE NEEDED.

SIT UP, PLEASE.

ANYTHING I CAN TAKE FOR IT?

YES, THERE IS.

A PREGNANCY TEST.

OH?

LITTLE LADY.

I WISH YOU AND YOUR BRILLIANT HUSBAND

THE BEST OF LUCK.

HI, HONEY!

WHAT A SURPRISE.

HEY. HEY, IS SOMETHING WRONG?

NICE TO MEET YOU.

WHAT TIME DOES THAT MEETING START?

30.

HEY, DID YOU GET TO THE DOCTOR ON TIME?

YEAH.

EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

FINE.

DR. BODIN...

UM...

COULD I SPEAK WITH YOU FOR JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE?

OF COURSE, MRS. REYNOLDS.

UM...

A-ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY HUSBAND?

WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM.

YOU ARE?

YES. OF COURSE.

A CLOSER RELATIONSHIP IS VERY HELPFUL IN OUR WORK.

TO GET RID OF THE SUPERFICIAL INHIBITIONS

THAT EXIST BETWEEN COLLEAGUES.

UM...IT-IT DOES SOUND... IT SOUNDS REASONABLE.

WHERE DO YOU DO IT?

DO YOU DO IT IN YOUR, UH, YOUR APARTMENT?

NO, NO.

OH, MRS. REYNOLDS,

HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH.

HE TOLD ME.

HE TOLD YOU?

YES, HE DID.

HE WORSHIPS YOU.

DO YOU MEAN THAT?

YEAH.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HI, LADIES. LADIES.

HI, JO.

HOW YOU FEELING?

FINE, THANK YOU. HOW ARE YOU?

HEY, LISTEN. DID YOU SEE THIS?

YEAH, CONGRATULATIONS.

OH, MY GOD! ARNOLD!

WHAT A FANTASTIC PICTURE.

THANK YOU.

YOU MEAN HE WON THAT CASE?

YES.

YEAH, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CALLING ME UP ALL MORNING.

WHAT FOR?

HERE WE GO.

WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS FINALLY HAPPENS TO YOU.

THAT YOU WIN A CASE AGAINST A GIANT CORPORATION.

BUT WHAT KATHY MEANS IS, WHAT DO YOUDO?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SUPPOSING YOU DID GET YOUR PICTURE IN THE TIMES,

DO YOU THINK ARNIE WOULD BE SHOWING IT TO EVERYBODY?

ABSOLUTELY. YES, I DO.

I MEAN, AS LONG AS YOU GO HOME AND DO THE DISHES.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, CONNIE --

ARNIE DOES THE DISHES PLENTY.

WAIT A MINUTE, BABY.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO STAND UP FOR SOMEBODY.

MY TITLE WAS ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT.

THAT MEANS GOFER.

WHEN THEY WERE SENDING OUT FOR COFFEE AND SANDWICHES,

THAT WAS ME.

TO PAY FOR THE CAB FARE AND BABYSITTING,

SO I QUIT THE JOB AND FIRED THE BABYSITTER.

SHE WAS MESSING UP THE KIDS ENOUGH

WITH HER OWN PROBLEMS.

ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, I WAS READING THIS STUDY,

AND IT SAID THAT THE BEST MOTHERS ARE THOSE

THAT ARE ABLE TO MAINTAIN THEIR OWN IDENTITIES.

TO BE A GOOD MOTHER,

YOU GOT TO LEARN TO EAT SHIT.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE GREEN.

I JUST FEEL A LITTLE SICK.

I THINK THEY PUT GLUE IN THESE PIES.

PLEASE EXCUSE ME FOR INTRUDING,

MM-HMM. THAT WAS MY MAIDEN NAME.

YOU WERE MY PROFESSOR IN... LATIN AMERICAN STUDIES?

YOUR FRIEND WROTE QUITE AN ORIGINAL PAPER FOR ME ONCE

ON THE CHANGING ROLE OF THE UNITED STATES

IN LATIN AMERICAN ECONOMIES.

REMEMBER? I WAS VERY IMPRESSED.

I OFTEN THOUGHT OF YOU.

YOU LOOK SPLENDID.

THANK YOU.

DO YOU THINK I COULD TALK TO YOU ALONE FOR A MOMENT?

COULD BE RATHER IMPORTANT.

ALL RIGHT.

KATH...

MOMMY!

JUST A MINUTE, DARLING.

WOULD YOU REALLY LIKE TO COME?

MOMMY!

GOOD. UNTIL TONIGHT.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY SUSPICIONS ABOUT MARGARET.

YEAH, YOU THINK SO?

ATTENTION, ATTENTION! YOU MUST CLEAR THE AREA.

EVERYONE CLEAR THE AREA.

GO HOME. EVERYONE GO HOME.

WHAT?

DR. LAWFORD.

OH. REYNOLDS?

YEAH.

HERE. THE GOLD ROOM, RIGHT UPSTAIRS.

LOOK AT THE STATISTICS IN YOUR COUNTRY.

OVER 40% OF AMERICAN WOMEN WORK.

AND LESS THAN 10% OF THE GROUP, 10%, ARE PROFESSIONALS.

75% -- 75% DO MENIAL WORK.

HOW CAN CHILDREN HAVE DIGNITY

WHEN THEIR MOTHERS ARE STRIPPED OF IT?

SHH.

...WOMEN SHOULD HAVE EQUAL EDUCATION, EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES,

EQUAL PAY, AND EQUAL POWER.

AND SO...WITH OUR NEW COMMUNITY NURSERY PROGRAMS,

A NEW MOTHER CAN BE BACK AT HER JOB WITHIN DAYS.

A JOB THAT GIVES HER FULL DIGNITY AND FREEDOM.

CHILDREN WILL NO LONGER BE SMOTHERED BY MOTHERS

WHO ARE TRAPPED IN A VICIOUS CYCLE OF SOCIAL SUICIDE.

MOTHERS SHOULD BE FUNCTIONAL IN THE COMMUNITY,

AND HAVE TIME AT THE END OF THE DAY

TO GIVE ATTENTION TO THE CHILDREN --

FREELY AND WITHOUT REGRET.

ALL WOMEN NEED TO LEAD THEMSELVES

OUT OF THE PIT OF IGNORANCE

IN WHICH MEN HAVE BURIED THEM FOR CENTURIES.

I INTEND THAT MY COUNTRY WILL BECOME THE INSPIRATION

FOR ALL THE WORLD

TO HALT THE INCREDIBLE WASTE

OF HALF THE HUMAN RESOURCES OF THIS PLANET.

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I JUST HAD A QUESTION.

YOU MIDDLE-CLASS WOMEN LIVE LIKE SLAVES.

YOU ARE TOTALLY DEPENDANT ON THE WHIMS OF YOUR HUSBANDS.

YOU ARE TREATED LIKE INFERIORS.

IN ORDER TO CHANGE YOUR STATUS, YOU NEED POWER.

AND IN ORDER TO GET THAT POWER, YOU MUST HAVE FEMALE LEADERS.

ESPECIALLY FEMALE MILITARY LEADERS.

I BEG YOUR PARDON,

BUT THE LAST THING THIS WORLD NEEDS

ARE FEMALE MILITARY LEADERS.

YOU SEE HERE A WOMAN SO OPPRESSED

WHY SHOULD WE JOIN MEN IN THEIR BARBARIC,

THEIR INSANE COMPETITIVE STRUGGLES?

TO THE EDGE OF EXTINCTION!

WAIT A MINUTE! MY POCKETBOOK!

LET HER SPEAK!

LET HER SPEAK.

THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY.

THANK YOU.

UH...SIR...

UM...

OUR WORLD IS, IS FRAGILE, AS YOU KNOW.

IT IS IN GREAT DANGER.

IT NEEDS EVERY DROP OF LOVE AND CARE

OR ELSE IT WILL DIE.

WHERE ARE WE GOING TO FIND THIS LOVING CARE?

IN THE MILITARY ACADEMIES?

IN THE COUNCILS OF STATE?

NO. IN ITS WOMEN.

AND IF WE MUST USE POWER,

LET US SPEAK ABOUT THE POWER OF MOTHERS

WHO CAN INSTILL IN THEIR SONS A TRUE MASCULINITY,

AND THEREBY CREATE A NEW BREED OF MEN

WHO WILL NOT HAVE TO RUN AROUND WITH TOY WEAPONS AND UNIFORMS

TO SHOW THEIR MANHOOD.

MEN WHO WILL USE THEIR MUSCLE TO BUILD AND PRESERVE

RATHER THAN DESTROY.

MEN WHO WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO STAND UP FOR LOVE.

NO, WE DO NOT HAVE TO BECOME MORE LIKE YOU, SIR.

WE ONLY HAVE TO BECOME MORE LIKE OURSELVES.

OH, CHRIST!

YOU HAVE INSULTED OUR COMANDANTE.

YOU ARE A CAPITALISTIC TOOL!

AND NOW I WILL DEMAND AN APOLOGY

FROM YOUR GOVERNMENT.

DO YOU SPEAK FOR SOME ORGANIZATION?

ARE YOU MARRIED?

DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN?

WHAT MAGAZINE DO YOU WORK FOR?

WILL YOU GIVE AN INTERVIEW?

PLEASE, THIS WAY.

YOU WILL COME WITH US.

WHY?

THE COMANDANTE WANTS TO SEE YOU.

YOU MUST COME.

CAN I BRING MY FRIEND?

NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU ALONE.

WE WILL WAIT HERE.

WHAT ARE THESE?

HOW YOU SAY? CUCARACHAS.

COCKROACHES?

AND WHENEVER I VISIT NEW YORK,

I BRING SAMPLES TO A FRIEND OF MINE

AT THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY.

INTERESTING.

YES, VERY.

MY ESPECIALIDADIS THE SEX LIFE OF THE PRAYING MANTIS.

THESE ARE SOME FINE SPECIMENS.

AS I AM SURE YOU KNOW,

THE FEMALE MANTIS BETRAYS THE MALE

DURING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

SHE BITES HIS HEAD OFF.

HOW HORRIBLE.

PERHAPS, BUT I HAVE PROVEN BEYOND A DOUBT

THAT DECAPITATION IS THE ONLY WAY

A MALE MANAGES TO REACH A CLIMAX.

LEAVE US.

THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO LEAVE.

BEFORE THE REVOLUTION, SHE WAS A WHORE.

UH, WOULD YOU LIKE FOR SOME WINE?

YES, THANK YOU.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

UH, MRS. PAUL REYNOLDS.

I HAVE A FEELING YOU MAY BE THE ONE

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR, MRS. REYNOLDS.

MARGARET.

OH, MARGARITA.

MARGARITA.

UH, MARGARITA...

I AM IN POSSESSION OF A SECRET.

AN EARTHSHAKING REVELATION

THAT COULD CHANGE THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.

A SECRET THAT WHEN MADE PUBLIC WILL FREE ALL WOMEN

FROM THE SHACKLES THAT HAVE CONDEMNED THEM

SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS.

ARE YOU THAT WOMAN, MARGARITA?

ARE YOU THE WOMAN WHO WILL HELP ME TELL MY SECRET?

GOOD.

AND NOW, YOU MUST TRUST ME.

COME.

COME ON.

I WISH I COULD COMPREHEND, COMPRENDES?

BAILAR? I REMEMBER THAT.

YOU DANCE VERY WELL.

OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

PERHAPS YOU HAVE ALREADY...

GUESSED MY SECRET, MARGARITA.

NO, WHAT IS IT?

ANYTHING? HMM?

LOOK CLOSELY.

VERY CLOSELY.

ANYTHING ABOUT MY FACE?

MY BEARD?

YOUR BEARD?

YES.

WELL, MAYBE THERE IS... UM, RIGHT THERE

BELOW YOUR LOWER LIP THERE,

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

IT LOOKS LIKE HOLLANDAISE SAUCE.

NOW CAN YOU GUESS?

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING A PHONY BEARD FOR?

LET ME GIVE YOU MORE OF A HINT.

WHEEE!

NO, MARGARITA.

I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

MARGARITA, I-I WILL GIVE YOU ANOTHER HINT.

TWO HINTS, AS A MATTER OF FACT.

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, MARGARITA?

OH, PLEASE, MARGARITA, PLEASE.

FOR THE SAKE OF WOMEN EVERYWHERE,

YOU MUST WRITE THIS STORY.

I ONLY MINORED IN JOURNALISM.

WHEN THE WORLD DISCOVERS MY SECRET,

WOMEN WILL NOT BE AFRAID

TO ASSUME THEIR RIGHTFUL POSITION.

I WANT YOU TO TELL EVERYONE.

TELL THE WORLD I AM A WOMAN!

MARGARITA, MARGARITA... LOVE ME.

REJOICE WITH ME THAT AT LAST WE KNOW THE TRUTH.

PAUL?

PAUL.

HMM?

WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH PETER...

DID YOU WANT OTHER WOMEN?

I HADOTHER WOMEN.

HOW MANY?

TWO A DAY. SOMETIMES THREE.

OH! OW!

MARGARET! MARGARET, DEAR.

OH, NO.

MARGARET, DEAR, OPEN THE DOOR.

I TOLD YOU 16 MILLION TIMES

NOT TO COME HERE WITHOUT CALLING FIRST.

NOW, GO AWAY.

MARGARET, STOP BEING SILLY.

YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR MY PRIVACY, MOTHER.

THE UMBILICAL CORD HAS BEEN CUT!

HOW CAN I FORGET? MOTHER, STOP THAT!

THAT IS NO WAY TO TALK TO A MOTHER!

MOTHERS HAVE NO SPECIAL PRIVILEGES AROUND HERE!

OH, NO! NOO!

MARGARET. MARGARET, DEAR.

HELLO, SWEETIE. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

HELLO, GRANDMA.

OH, HELLO, LOVE.

GIVE GRANDMA A GREAT BIG KISS.

MARIA, START WITH THE DISASTER

IN THE LIVING ROOM.

OH, THERE HE IS!

LOOK AT THIS MESS.

MOVE TO NEW JERSEY.

THE AIR IS CLEANER, AND NOBODY WRITES

"LESBIANS UNITE" IN THE ELEVATOR.

I BROUGHT YOU SOME STUFF.

AND BE MOLESTED.

MARIA, FROM THE CAB TO THE LOBBY,

HOW MANY TIMES WERE WE NEARLY RAPED?

HA! YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY, MOM.

WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

OH, WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.

I READ IN THE PAPER YESTERDAY

A BLOCK FROM HERE A RAT BIT A BABY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, HUH?

DARLING, I WANT YOU TO MOVE OUT OF THIS DUMP.

THIS IS NOT A DUMP!

I TELL MY FRIENDS WHERE YOU LIVE,

THEY WANT TO KNOW HOW I ENDED UP

WITH UNDERPRIVILEGED GRANDCHILDREN.

WHICH ONE DO I PRESS?

UP.

NO, STREET.

RIGHT. MAGIC!

HELLO.

RIGHT.

GOOD, BIG GIRL.

HI.

TELL YOUR KID TO KEEP HER HANDS OFF ME.

STAY CLOSE TO MOMMY, DARLING.

OH, GOOD MORNING, MRS. REYNOLDS.

THANK YOU.

LET ME GO. LET ME GO!

YOU GET EVERYBODY INTO TROUBLE.

AHHHH! LET ME GO!

LET ME GO, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

HEY, MONKEY.

HEY, STOP HITTING EACH OTHER

HELLO, LADIES.

HI. HOW YOU DOING?

MOMMY, MOMMY! MOMMY!

WOULD YOU KEEP AN EYE ON PETER FOR ME?

OH, SURE.

THANK YOU.

MOMMY!

COMING! OKAY, HOLD ON, SWEETHEART.

YOU.

I GOT THEM.

YEAH.

WHEN THE ICE CREAM MAN COMES,

WOULD YOU GET THEM SOME ICE CREAM, PLEASE?

SEE YOU LATER, DARLING.

BYE.

TO CALL THE COAST GUARD OR SOMETHING?

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PEOPLE

RUN OUT OF GAS IN NEW YORK HARBOR?

POLICE.

TAKE THAT.

OKAY.

ONE...TWO...

LIGHT.

HEY!

HEY, YOU!

CHRIST!

MARGARET, COME ON!

HEY, MISTER, GET DOWN FROM THERE!

MARGARET, COME BACK HERE!

TO HELL WITH HER! TO HELL WITH HER!

GET TO THE BOAT! THE BOAT!

HEY! WAIT!

NOBODY!

NO!

AHHH!

OH, FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE ME, PAUL.

AHHHH!

NEED ANY HELP?

HMM?

NEED ANY HELP TONIGHT?

NO, NO. YOU STAY IN BED.

OHHH!

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

OH, NO.

SHIT!

LOOK AT THIS!

YOU AND YOUR DAMN CRAYONS!

I TOLD HER NOT TO TOUCH IT.

NOT TO LET HER PLAY IN HERE.

LOUSY PAGES. THEY TOOK ME MONTHS.

AND LET HER PAINT THE WALLS?

AND YOU GUYS CAN HAVE THE WHOLE DAMN APARTMENT!

TO HELL WITH THE BOOK.

OH, ELIZABETH.

OH. OH, JESUS.

AHH!

GET OVER. GET OVER.

AHHH!

OHHH, GOD!

HI.

HELLO.

CAREFUL.

HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD GIRL, LIZ?

I GOT A PRESENT FOR YOU.

MOTHER, I TOLD YOU

NOT TO GIVE HER THIS KIND OF STUFF.

THANK YOU, GRANDMA.

HELLO.

SING FOR ME, TIL.

COME ON, NOT ON THE HEAD, DAVID.

DAVID, PLEASE.

HI, MARVIN.

PLENTY OF NICE CHILDREN

ALL UP AND DOWN THE STREET,

AND YOU AND PAUL CAN DO SOME OF THE PAINTING

ON THE WEEKENDS.

AND YOU CAN GO INTO THE CITY WHENEVER LIKE

FOR DINNER OR FOR A MOVIE.

AND AFTER A WHILE,

AND WE WANT TO GIVE YOU THE DOWN PAYMENT.

YOU LISTEN TO HER, MAGGIE.

YOUR MONTHLY PAYMENTS

FOR A SLUM.

HEY, EVERYBODY, JUST ACT NATURAL.

SHOWTIME, MOM.

WAIT A MINUTE, DARLING.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

THE PLACE SMELLS TERRIFIC.

YOU HAVE BURNT MY EYES, DEAR.

OH, DARLING, SHE WANTS THE HOUSE.

YOU THINK SO?

I KNOW MY DAUGHTER.

AND SOME HELP WITH THE KIDS.

WAKE UP AND LET GRANDMA TAKE A PICTURE, HONEY.

EVERYBODY IN THE OTHER ROOM.

OH, NOW, NOW, I CAN PUT UP WITH THE TRAVEL,

OH, PAUL, HELP HER TO HAVE WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS.

MOM, IS THIS ENOUGH SALAD?

ENJOYING YOURSELF?

WAIT TILL SHE GETS GOING.

ONE, TWO, THREE!

WHERE DID YOU HIDE IT?

DADDY, THEY HID IT RIGHT IN MY OWN HOUSE.

GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.

YOU REALLY DESERVE EACH OTHER.

SPEECH! SPEECH!

DADDY AND I ARE SO SURPRISED!

UH...SAY "THANK YOU," DADDY.

OH. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU!

I WANT TO TELL YOUR DADDY, UH...

LIVING 33 YEARS WITH THE MAN I LOVE

HAS BEEN WONDERFUL.

WONDERFUL.

AND ALL WE WISH FOR IS 33 MORE.

ALL RIGHT NOW, BLOW OUT THE CANDLES.

MAKE A WISH! MAKE A WISH!

ONE, TWO...

UH, MOM, MOM.... THIS IS FROM...ALL OF US.

ROME!

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

ROME, ITALY! OH, LOOK, DADDY!

I TOLD THEM I WANTED TO GO TO MIAMI.

I KNEW THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLYWANTED.

NO, I REALLYWANTED TO GO TO MIAMI.

SPEECH! SPEECH!

DADDY AND I -- DADDY AND I --

OKAY?

DADDY AND I WISH TO ACCEPT

THIS WONDERFUL ADVENTURE IN ITALY

AS AN EXPRESSION OF YOUR DEVOTION.

THE BEST I KNOW HOW.

NOT ANOTHER THING!

EXCEPT, EXCEPT...

EXCEPT FOR MARGARET AND PAUL TO MOVE OUT HERE.

THEN OUR WHOLE FAMILY WOULD BE TOGETHER AGAIN.

MARGARET, MARGARET, JUST SAY "YES"

AND MAKE OUR HAPPINESS COMPLETE.

MARGARET.

NO.

SHOULD I CUT THE CAKE, DEAR?

OH, CHILDREN, YOU GO IN THE OTHER ROOM AND PLAY.

SOMETIMES, DEAR, WE HAVE TO MAKE LITTLE SACRIFICES

FOR OUR HUSBAND AND OUR CHILDREN.

TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ALREADY.

WHAT A THING TO SAY.

FOR THE RIGHT KIND OF PEOPLE.

I SIMPLY REFUSE TO LET YOU GO ON RAISING YOUR CHILDREN

IN THAT DISGUSTING CITY,

SURROUNDED BY UNDERPRIVILEGED

SPANISH-SPEAKING PERSONS AND COLORED PEOPLE.

BUT YOU COME BARGING IN ON ME

ANY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE IT.

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

IF WE LIVED IN THE SAME STATE?

INTO NARROW-MINDED, PREJUDICED, OVERWEIGHT,

SPLIT-LEVEL SCHNOOKS!

IT NEVER OCCURS TO YOU TO THINK ABOUT

WHAT YOUR CHILDREN OR YOUR HUSBAND

OR YOUR PARENTS MIGHT LIKE.

I TURN IN MY OVARIES!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

YOU ALREADY HAVE TWO LITTLE INVESTMENTS IN THE FUTURE,

AND LISTEN, EVERYBODY, HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS!

CONGRATULATIONS!

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE WERE ALL HAVING SO MUCH FUN!

MOMMY!

PLEASE, SAY SOMETHING TO ME.

COME ON, MOMMY!

COME ON, MOM, GET HER! HIT HER AGAIN!

AND ONE MORE TIME. AND AGAIN.

FIGHT BACK. FIGHT BACK.

THERE YOU GO.

FINE. THANK YOU.

CAN WE DISCUSS IT SOME OTHER TIME?

ALL RIGHT, DEAR.

WITH AN INSTAMATIC UP YOUR ASS.

MOMMY! MOMMY!

MISS SPITTLEMEISTER?

OH, WOULD YOU MIND CALLING ME "BERNICE"?

OKAY, BERNICE. COME THIS WAY.

ELIZABETH IS MY DAUGHTER,

AND SHE SLEEPS ON THE BED ON THE RIGHT OVER THERE.

AND SHE DOES WAKE UP IF THE TV IS TOO LOUD.

ORGANIC CHEMISTRY.

MARGARET.

PETER, MY SON, IF HE DOES WAKE UP,

TALK TO HIM SOFTLY FOR A FEW MINUTES,

AND HE SHOULD GO BACK TO SLEEP.

HIS BOTTLE IS IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

MY COAT. OKAY.

WOULD YOU LEAVE A CHICKEN LEG

AND REMARKABLY, A PERCUSSION INSTRUMENT, TOO.

BUT THIS REMAINS THE BASIC PERCUSSION INSTRUMENT.

MARGARET!

HI, ROSE, HOW ARE YOU?

HOW ARE THE KIDS? HI, PAUL.

STUFFING IT DOWN AS FAST AS I CAN COOK IT.

SOMEBODY DID CALL ME

AND TOLD ME TO SEND A TELEGRAM

TO THE PARK COMMISSION.

THE MAYOR OF THIS CITY

IS GOING TO HAVE TO GET OFF HIS BIG, FAT BUTT.

OF COURSE I DO. HOW ARE YOU, MRS. REYNOLDS?

ENJOYING THE PARTY?

YES, THANK YOU, DR. KIRKLAND.

BUT MOST OF MY GOOD PIECES ARE STILL IN STORAGE.

HEY, HAVE YOU MET THE GUEST OF HONOR?

NOT YET, BUT I LIKE HIS STYLE.

SHATTERING. SHATTERING.

DR. REYNOLDS.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT, DR. REYNOLDS?

PISTACHIO AND CHEDDAR.

THIS IS VICKI. THIS IS MY WIFE.

WITH MY PESSIMISTIC VIEWS ON REVOLUTIONS.

AS LONG AS NO ONE GETS HURT.

WOULD YOU LIKE THIS?

THANK YOU.

WHAT FIELD ARE YOU IN?

DOMESTIC ARTS.

OH...UH, DO YOU HELP YOUR HUSBAND

WITH HIS MANUSCRIPTS -- TYPING, AND SO FORTH?

I ADD A TOUCH OF COLOR HERE AND THERE.

I TALK OVER A LOT OF MY IDEAS WITH MARGARET,

HE TRIES TO TRAP ME WITH DEFINITIONS.

DR. REYNOLDS, HOW DO YOU TELL RIGHTEOUSNESS

FROM TRUE IDEALISM?

SEE YOU LATER.

OF THE PREMISE THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW,

THAT BOTH OF THEM RESULT IN CATASTROPHE.

I LOVE THE WAY YOU PUT THINGS, DR. REYNOLDS.

SOME SAID IT WAS MYTHS,

THAT THERE WAS NO PROOF OF THEIR EXISTENCE,

BUT HE CONTINUED TO SEEK THIS TRIBE

WHERE THE WOMEN WERE HUNTER-WARRIORS,

AND THE MEN TOOK CARE OF THE CHILDREN.

FINALLY, AFTER INCREDIBLE HARDSHIPS,

HE FOUND THE OOGOOLAS,

BUT HE WAS HACKED TO DEATH AND DISMEMBERED

WHEN HE TRIED TO DISCOVER THEIR SECRET

OF PAINLESS CHILDBIRTH.

THIS CACACKIE HERE IS USED BY THE OOGOOLA

DURING THEIR DANCE OF BIRTH CEREMONY.

OH!

OOH!

OH. OH.

AHHHH! AHH!

AHH!

OH!

OHH!

OH, DR, REYNOLDS.

NAME ONE SINGLE REVOLUTIONARY VICTORY

REPLACING THE OLD AFTER A PERIOD POWER STRUGGLE --

THERMIDORIAN REACTION.

HAVING A GOOD TIME, DARLING?

HEY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?

COMBED IT.

I JUST WANT TO FINISH THIS ONE THOUGHT.

IF YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WAS GETTING HANGED,

SHOT, IMPRISONED, TORTURED, WHATEVER.

THE PROBLEM IS INDIVIDUALISM.

IN A FEW MINUTES.

THERE IS AN EXPEDIENCY TODAY

WHICH MAKES INDIVIDUALISM SENTIMENTAL.

VICKI, ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SENTIMENTALITY?

I AM NOTEASILY BORED.

WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME

OH, NO, I LOVE SPENDING THREE HOURS

WATCHING LIVERWURST TURN BROWN.

TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE.

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN PABLUM AND STRAINED CARROTS,

TO BE JEALOUS.

HOW CAN AN INTELLIGENT MAN LIKE YOU

BE HYPNOTIZED BY A PAIR OF BOOBS?!

AW, COME ON.

MISS BOOBS HAPPENS TO HAVE A VERY CLEAR IDEA

INTENDS TO HAVE ONE CHILD,

CHECK OFF THE WOMAN THING, AND BACK TO WORK.

BOOBS HAPPENS TO BE A VERY INTERESTING WOMAN.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR IDEA OF AN INTERESTING WOMAN IS?

ANYBODY WHO LISTENS TO YOU FOR MORE THAN 10 MINUTES.

I GET ONE HOUR OFF TO SEE A DOCTOR,

HE TELLS ME HOW WONDERFUL YOUR WORK IS

WHILE HE HAS HIS HAND ON MY TIT,

AND HE GETS PAID FOR THAT

BUT A WOMAN LIKE ME WORKS TWICE AS HARD.

AND FOR WHAT?

STRETCH MARKS AND VARICOSE VEINS.

MAYBE I SHOULD BE ON THE COVER OF TIME.

"DUST MOP OF THE YEAR." "QUEEN OF THE LAUNDRY ROOM."

"EXPERT ON TINKER TOYS."

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

AS YOUR COLLEAGUE, DR. BODIN.

I COOK, I SEW, I SPEND HOURS WAITING IN LINE FOR A SALE

JUST TO SAVE A FEW PENNIES.

I HAVE ONE KID WHO LIKES SICILIAN PIZZA,

A HUSBAND WHO LIKES NEAPOLITAN PIZZA.

ONE WHO LIKES WESTERN OMELETS,

OH! AH!

DR. BENIKI?

DR. BENIKI, YOU ARE SURE

THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE?

OH, YES.

NABUNU AND THE PORTERS

SHOULD BE COMING IN FROM... FROM THIS DIRECTION...

RIGHT HERE.

THERE. RIGHT THERE.

FROM THERE.

NO USE WAITING AROUND.

NONSENSE, MARGARET.

ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY.

WITHIN 200 MILES OF HERE.

NOW, AS SOON AS WE INTERCEPT THE PORTERS...

DR. BENIKI, I THINK I HEAR ANIMALS!

BUT REMEMBER,

YOU MUST SHOW NO FEAR AT WHATEVER HAPPENS.

THE WOMEN ARE THE WARRIORS.

THEY VALUE COURAGE

DR. BENIKI? YOU HAVEBEEN HERE BEFORE?

NO, NEVER. BUT I STUDIED ALL THE MAPS.

I KNOW THIS COUNTRY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND.

AH! A SEQUINTUM. VERY RARE.

A-HA! A SEQUINTUM. A-HA!

MARGARET, LISTEN!

WHAT?

THAT SOUND.

MARGARET, LISTEN.

SHH! MARGARET!

YOU SPEAK ENGLISH!

THANK GOD, CIVILIZATION.

UH, MOST GRACIOUS LADY,

WE ARE DELIGHTED TO BE IN YOUR MAGNIFICENT LAND,

AND TO GATHER INFORMATION

ABOUT YOUR CHERISHED SECRET OF PAINLESS CHILDBIRTH.

CHILDBIRTH SACRED.

WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO TO US?

SOME SORT OF PRIMITIVE RITUAL, NO DOUBT.

AHH!

NOOOOO!

Oh, my head.

AND COMING HOME AND OPENING UP A CHINESE LAUNDRY.

BREAKFAST FOR THE INVALID... PERKED COFFEE INCLUDED.

OH, I FORGOT YOUR MARMALADE.

WHY DID YOU FIGHT WITH HIM?

REMEMBER, MARRIAGE IS A 75/25 PROPOSITION.

THE WOMAN GIVES 75.

HE FIXED YOU A GORGEOUS BREAKFAST.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

ONE MARMALADE.

YOU KNOW, THAT MAN FEELS TERRIBLE!

OVER YOUR BELLYACHING.

HOW ABOUT THE EGGS?

ARE YOU STICKING AROUND JUST TO INSULT ME?

MARGARET.

CAN WE BE OPEN WITH EACH OTHER?

TRUTHFUL?

TRUTHFUL, HUH?

MY MOTHER JUST GAVE ME THE OPPOSITE ADVICE.

SHE TOLD ME I SHOULD TELL YOU

A LOT OF LIES ABOUT THE BREAKFAST.

SOMETHING ABOUT SAVING OUR MARRIAGE, I THINK.

DO YOU THINK OUR MARRIAGE NEEDS SAVING?

WONDERFUL TOAST.

I, UH... TRIED TO SCRAPE IT.

MARGARET, COME ON.

PAUL...

HELD BACK, SUFFOCATED... THAT SORT OF THING?

YOU CAN TELL ME THE TRUTH.

IS IT COLD OUT?

I FORGOT TO MAKE YOUR FRENCH TOAST THIS MORNING.

THE ONE THING YOU LIKE ON SUNDAY.

YOU THINK WHAT I WANT FROM YOU IS FRENCH TOAST?

YOU THINK THAT LITTLE OF ME, HUH?

LISTEN TO ME. I WANT TO HELP YOU.

MY BOOK WILL BE FINISHED IN SIX MONTHS.

YOU CAN GET A FRESH START.

HOLD IT.

BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER,

I WANT ANOTHER CHILD.

AND MORE CHILDREN AFTER THAT.

THREE OR FOUR AT LEAST.

MAYBE FIVE MORE.

OH, PAUL, I CAN JUST IMAGINE YOU

AT THE HEAD OF A GREAT, LONG DINING ROOM TABLE

WITH CHILDREN ON BOTH SIDES OF IT

EATING AND LAUGHING AND HAVING FUN.

ON HOLIDAYS, MAYBE EVEN 21.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?

21 CHILDREN FILLING OUR HOME WITH LIFE,

WITH WARMTH, WITH JOY, WITH NOISE, WITH LAUGHTER.

IN THE SUMMERTIME,

THE CHILDREN WILL TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS, OF COURSE --

HORSES AND LAMBS AND PIGS AND RABBITS.

LIKE HELL WE WILL. YOU AND I ARE THROUGH.

AND NOW YOU WANT TO FILL THE WORLD

WITH MORE MOUTHS TO FEED.

AND OVERCROWDING IN THIS WORLD?

ZAP! MAXIMUM!

AFTER THAT, COMPULSORY ABORTION!

YOU UNDERSTAND? AND THEN OUT TO WORK!

SO I CAN SIT HOME AND FINISH MY BOOK.

AT LEAST THAT WOULD ADD SOMETHING TO THE WORLD

INSTEAD OF MORE BODIES.

YOU, A WRITER, HUH?

THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL

HIDDEN IN YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY.

DRIVEL! DRIVEL!

DEFINITE DRIVEL!

GO AHEAD. I DARE YOU!

AHHHH!

LOOK, HONEY, I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

I WANT YOU TO BE FULFILLED. YOU UNDERSTAND?

I WANT YOU TO BE... I WANT TO HELP YOU.

WHO ARE YOU TO HELP ME?

AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?

YOU TAKE CARE OF ME AS IF I WERE A CHILD

YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP?

STARTING RIGHT NOW.

WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?

YEAH, OKAY.

SURE.

I LOVE YOU.

DADDY!

OKAY, OKAY.

I WANT SOME CAKE.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CEREAL?

AND UH, SCRAMBLED EGGS.

DADDY, I WANT CHOCOLATE CAKE.

DADDY!

NO CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR BREAKFAST.

OKAY, OKAY.

TAKE THE YELLOW SLIP TO ROOM 483 FOR THE EXAM.

FILL OUT 138 "A."

HAVE YOUR DOCTOR SIGN,

AND THEN BEFORE YOU FILL OUT 139 AND 40,

YOU MUST FILL OUT QUESTIONS 137 "A," "B," AND "C."

CAN I HELP YOU?

MARGARET REYNOLDS.

I HAD AN APPOINTMENT FOR YESTERDAY.

YES, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

FILL THIS OUT.

TAKE THE YELLOW SLIP TO ROOM 483 FOR THE EXAM.

MISS --

JUST ONE MINUTE.

YES, NOW, WHAT IS IT?

YOU CANNOT FILL OUT 139 AND 140

UNTIL YOU HAVE ANSWERED

QUESTIONS 137 "A," "B," AND "C."

IF YOU WILL NOTE THE INSTRUCTIONS

IN PARAGRAPH FIVE, ALL REQUESTS FOR ABORTION

MUST INCLUDE A CERTIFIED PREGNANCY TEST,

AND IF OVER 12 WEEKS PREGNANT, YOU MUST FILL OUT FORM 101...

GOOD MORNING, MRS. REYNOLDS.

OKAY, DEARIE, THIS IS JUST TO RELAX YOU.

MARGARET! MARGARET!

NO!

MARGARET! NO!

MARGARET, NO! NO!

NO, MARGARET!

AND YOU BETTER GET USED TO THAT FACT.

BY GOD IT IS!

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, BUTCHER.

BUT DARLING, I KNOW HOW YOU REALLY FEEL.

PAUL?

HI, MOMMY!

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT, PAUL?

YOU SURE, PAUL?

BRING ANOTHER CHILD

INTO A WORLD AS CRAZY AS THIS?

HONEY, OUR CHILDREN WILL BE A CREDIT TO THE WORLD.

ALL RIGHT.

MARGARET.

MARGARET!

MARGARET, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

LATER, DARLING.

MARGARET!

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

HEY.

WHAT?

I LOVE YOU.

--Captions by VITAC-- Burbank, Pittsburgh, Tampa, and Washington, D.C.

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY WARNER BROS. INC.