All language subtitles for The.Dating.List.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG2_English

[upbeat music]

♪ Oh

♪ Is there love tonight?

♪ I've been down
this road so many times ♪

♪ And I know that tonight
we're gonna survive ♪

♪ All that it takes
is one not to break ♪

♪ And then I'll
catch your fall ♪

♪ All that I need,
all that I feel ♪

♪ Is love tonight

♪ Oh

♪ Is there love tonight?

♪ Love tonight

Next!

Full-length chicken--

Ham and Swiss on rye!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sorry.

[laughs]
No, go ahead.

-Extra pickles.
-No mayo.

-A side of chips.
-And coleslaw, please.

Oh, you have coleslaw,
how is it?

No, no, on the coleslaw.

Uh, potato salad, is that
with mustard or mayo?

Mayo.

Okay, potato salad.

You want potato salad, sir?

No, coleslaw.

But you just said--

Forget what I said.

I was, we were--

So you don't want
chipotle chicken on white?

Yes, on the chipotle
chicken on white

and tortilla soup.

Yeah, but no coleslaw?

And the coleslaw.

But potato salad?

-No!
-Yes!

Rice pudding?

-Yes!
-No.

Oh, can I get extra tomatoes?

Extra mayo.

Can I get double--

-Pepperoni, double and then--

[talking over each other]

Oh, actually, I
didn't want that.

And the cookies are--

If I could do it like
asparagus and potato salad--

And not the onions!
No onions.

Figure it out for yourselves.

-Asparagus?
-Oh, mine!

-Coleslaw?
-Mine.

Cheddar is mine, soup is mine.

-Cookies?
-Oh, mine.

-Chipotle chicken?
-That's me.

What is this?

Rice pudding?

That's the only
possible explanation.

[Abby laughs]

-Then I got chips.
-Mine, time?

-Uh, time, 1:30.
-1:30?

-That's what I said.
-I'm late!

Hey, what am I supposed
to do with this stuff?

Have a picnic!

[upbeat music]

[bell dings]

Excuse me, can you tell me
where Susan Danvers' office is?

I'm Abby Morel, I have an
interview with her right now.

Sure.

Her assistant is out today,
but I'll show you the way.

Okay.

So, what position are
you interviewing for?

Junior editor.

Do you have a recommendation
from a senior editor?

No, but before I
moved here I worked

as a secondary managing editor
for Lansing Publishing.

It's in Toledo.

Well, you're never gonna get
in without a recommendation

from a senior editor.

Believe me, I've been
trying to get promoted

to junior editor
for three years,

but there's no place
I'd rather be.

This is it.

Wish me luck!

You're gonna need a miracle.

[door knocking]

Ms. Danvers?

I have Abby Morel for
the junior editor position.

Hmm.

-Um, no.
-No, what?

No, you won't do.

I need someone who understands

that a deadline means
2:00 p.m., not 2:02,

much the same way
that appointments do,

especially job interviews.

Uh, I know everything
about this industry,

about Belle and Howe.

You're the biggest
publishing house

in the Pacific Northwest.

One of every five books

on the Times bestseller
list is published here,

it's been my dream since
I was a kid to work here.

It was my dream to be an
astronaut when I was a kid,

life is full of disappointments.

I have five years experience
at Lansing Publishing.

That's in Toledo.

Oh, Toledo!

I know that you're having
major issues with Dexter Hayes.

Who told you that?

No one told me,
it's obvious.

Belle and Howe has released
a new Dexter Hayes novel

every 18 months
since he started.

He's your top author,
except now it's been four years.

No other publishing house
has been crowing

about trying to
poach him from you.

If he had retired,
then you would be

promoting his back titles
and if he died,

then you'd really be
promoting his back titles,

and so you must be
having problems with him.

-You brought sample coverage?
-Yes, I did!

And you have a recommendation
from a senior editor?

Well, no.

Not exactly--

No one gets junior editor
without a recommendation

from a senior editor,
company policy.

Good luck to you.

-Janine, I'm home.
-Hey, roomie!

Tough day at work, Morel?

I took my resume to every
publishing house in town

including cookies, brownies,
cheesecake and rice pudding.

Rice pudding?

You'd be surprised.

Someone in publishing
has to have a sweet tooth.

Apparently, they're
all on a diet!

I hope you're not.

I knew moving from
Toledo would be tough,

but I didn't move
all the way here

just for a career
proof-reading

"Portland's Onsite
Wastewater Treatment Systems

"Revised Manual and Checklist".

Wastewater treatment
is very important

for long term urban
sustainability.

Don't get me wrong, I am
all for urban substantion.

Substantion, is
that even a word?

It is now!

I didn't know you
could do that,

just decide
something's a word.

I'm an editor, aren't I?

Even if my office is located
between my bed and my bureau.

Well, you're the
prettiest editor I know.

You're the prettiest
programming engineer I know.

Also the only one.

I'll take it.

You just need a
change of scenery.

There's a great new
bar that just opened

and a bunch of guys from
the office are gonna be there.

Phil, Bill and Will?

Don't forget about Gil.

Are any of them
prettier than you are?

Why don't you come out
and decide for yourself?

I appreciate the invite,
really,

but I'm no good at multitasking.

Career first, then love.

Okay, look out, "Portland's
Onsite Wastewater

Treatment Systems Revised
Manual and Checklist."

Here I come.

What?

Chipotle chicken.

[soft orchestral music]

[phone buzzing]

Hello?

[Dan]
Ham and Swiss on rye?

Mine!

What?

Chipotle chicken?

You better
have that manuscript.

Yes!

Uh, yes.

A little hairspray
will help that come off.

Did you drag me out
of bed at 6:00 a.m.

to give me makeup tips?

I just know a lot about
getting ink off of skin.

Oh, here's your manuscript.

Greg.

Dan.

Greg's my friend,
this is his book.

How'd you get my number?

It was on the work order

inside the "Portland Onsite
Wastewater Treatment Systems--

Revised Manual and Checklist,
right.

Oh, along with the other
half of your sandwich.

What'd you do
with the first half?

It had onions.

Hey, I'm sorry if I was,

on the phone I was kind of--

Rude?

I was gonna say panicked.

Yeah, this is my
best friend's book.

Last night his computer crashed
and cloud storage failed,

so this is literally
the only copy in existence.

This is the only copy?
Anywhere?

Yeah, I know,
it's hard to believe.

Enough!

You're coming with me!

[upbeat music]

♪ Good, good

♪ Good, good

♪ Good, good, life is good

♪ Never had a doubt

♪ And I took this rule

♪ Good, good

♪ Life is good

Okay, so three
complete hard copies,

two copies on CD-ROM,
one thumb drive backup,

five years hosting
on their cloud server

and an electronic
copy emailed to you,

maybe we should have
gotten more copies.

When the apocalypse hits,

the only thing that'll survive
are cockroaches and this book.

You think we overdid it?

Yes, I do.

I just couldn't stand the idea

that this book might
be lost forever,

just because your friend
overshot his free storage.

People need stories like this.

I know what you mean,
I read it and after that--

Everything seemed different.

Yeah, a little more--

Helpful.

Exactly.

So, can I take you
out for breakfast?

Since I got you
up so early and--

[phone buzzes]

Oh, sorry, I gotta take this.

-Hello?
-Abby?

It's Beatrice from
Belle and Howe.

Right, hi, hello.

Ms. Danvers asked
me to call you,

she said she has a
position opening for you,

but only if you can start soon.

-How soon?
-15 minutes ago.

I'll be there 15 minutes ago!

-I gotta go!
-I thought--

Tell you friend
I loved his book!

-But--
-And buy more storage!

This isn't a job opening,
this is temp work.

You do temp work?

I will do anything.

I hope you mean that,
boss lady is a bear.

Be useful,
avoid office politics,

and never let them
see you cry.

This place is a jungle.

But there's nowhere
I'd rather be.

Is that ink on your cheek?

Oh. [laughs]

Ms. Danvers, I have Abby Morel
for the temp assignment.

Oh, finally you're here!

My regular assistant eloped

and then demanded a
two-week vacation in Vegas.

Well, I can file,
proofread, copyedit

and I write great coverage.

We have interns for that,
this is more complex.

Have a seat.

Okay.

As you so astutely
pointed out, Dexter Hayes,

our top author, is two years
behind his publishing schedule.

Managing him is going to
take up every waking hour

I have between now and
the end of the quarter.

Wait, Dexter Hayes is the
most reclusive author ever.

He makes J.D. Salinger look
like an Instagram celebrity,

no one even knows his real name.

Do you know who he is?

No.

We only interact
through his agent.

Okay, well I am the
perfect woman for the job,

I have read everything
he's ever written,

I did my senior thesis
on his debut novel, I--

That's not why
I need your help.

-It's not?
-No.

After my assistant eloped,
it got me thinking

and I realized I
want the same thing.

You wanna go to Vegas?

No, I hate Vegas, I
want to get married.

Not right away, but someday,
before I'm 40.

Which means I have
to start looking now.

These are all the men

who have liked my
online dating profile.

That's a lot of men!

Just a little over 3,000.

I still don't understand.

Given Dexter's meltdown,

I don't have time to
sort through all of this.

What I need is a screener.

A screener?

Someone to
pre-screen these men

and make sure they fit
my list of requirements,

which you will find
under appendix B.

Okay.

Smart, confident, professional,

understands art, has a sense
of rhythm, speaks French?

Just enough to order
at Le Petit Maison.

Smells good in
ACQUE de BLEU cologne?

I don't know about this.

If you're not comfortable,
I will get Beatrice

to call up the temp
agencies right away.

Beatrice!

No, wait, wait, wait.

I realize this is
an unusual assignment,

so to show my appreciation,

I'll let you bring in a book,
just one, to edit on your own.

Do a good job and
I will recommend you

for the junior editor
position myself.

I'll do it!

Welcome to the team.

Follow my advice

and you will have the
publishing world on a string.

Oh, watch your...

Whoop!

You okay?

Yeah, I always knew
I'd fall hard for a man,

I didn't know his name
would be Can-_Crusher-_21.

Can Crusher!

What is all of this?

These are all men
who like my boss.

Your boss, you have a job!

I mean, why would you have a
boss and not a job, congrats!

Yes, I have a job

and a boss,
a very popular boss.

These are all men who liked
her online dating profile.

Online dating, a
single girl's dream.

Yeah, or nightmare!

Sexy mountain man,
or scary lumberjack?

Lumberjack.

She wants me to prescreen
all of these men

and root out the ones that
don't fit her checklist.

Why don't you use her login?

I mean, all the dating
sites have filters.

If only.

Have you ever seen a filter

for whether or not a
man reads voraciously?

Come on, there are over
3,000 profiles here.

You need a system.

Allow me?

[upbeat music]

Do you have it?

[manuscript thumps]

Also, backups.

Backups of the backups,

and backups of the backups
of the backups.

Thank you.

No, don't thank me,
thank ham and swiss on rye.

Long story.

Well?

Well, what do you
think of the book?

Okay, listen, it's...

it's absolutely incredible.

-Yes?
-Yes.

Yes!

Dexter Hayes,
best-selling author,

thinks I'm--

Hey, hey, hey.

They can hear you
in Beaverton.

Sorry.

Best-selling author,
Dexter Hayes,

thinks I'm incredible.

Yeah, I just wish I
could get it published.

No, your privacy
means everything to you

and I respect that.

I'm just happy
that you like it.

Liked it?

No, no, I loved it.

And I'm not the only one.

Ham and Swiss loved it, too.

Uh, what's with
all the red ink?

Okay, so, I created
this program

to automatically
eliminate the guys

that don't fit the
criteria, you know,

based on empirical stuff.

Body type, height, education

and then it tags the
most-likely candidates based

on keywords.

Who said data
isn't romantic?

Oh!

Catfish.

Most people would say hottie
or stud, even super stud.

No, I mean, this guy's
obviously catfishing.

He stole a picture
on the internet

and he's pretending it's him.

How can you tell?

No one is that good looking.

Someone's that
good looking.

Right, yeah, because normal
guys just stand around

with their shirts off waiting
for someone to snap a pic

in perfect studio lighting.

Actually, I
recognize this shot.

Okay, next.

Well, he has a nice chin.

And a wife.

What, how do you know?

Because of his hat
and his glasses.

They're so his wife's single
friends can't recognize him.

Next.

Okay, you don't have
to explain this one.

Next!

Six possible matches,
not 60, not 16, six.

Yeah, it's like looking

for the perfect
little black dress,

you don't need a
closet full of them,

you just need the one
that's perfect for you.

Yes!

This list is
just so limiting,

like what happened
to being a nice guy?

The world is full
of nice guys.

So do you have
one of these lists?

No.

What's on it?

Taller than me,
even in heels,

likes my cooking,
can fix things,

roots for the Seahawks,
and understands the beauty

of a well-organized medicine
cabinet, don't judge me.

That's very romantic.

Well, what's on your list?

I don't have a list.

Spill it.

Um, nice, kind, honest.

A voracious reader.

You stole that
from your boss.

We're both editors.

Okay, keep going.

Can iron his own clothes,
makes me laugh,

confident but still humble,
loves pets.

Ooh, ooh, looks good in a suit!

Um, willing to
come to my rescue.

Someone that can, you know,
teach me things.

That I can teach things to.

And hates
double-chocolate anything.

But you love
double-chocolate anything.

Exactly, more
double-chocolate for me.

[Janine laughs]

[paper rustles]

So, Edward, Lawrence?

I don't know if the
name Edward works?

[Janine laughs]

[phone ringing]

Double Americano,
one cream, one sugar,

marketing just released
3Q sales projections for YA

and six eligible bachelors.

So...

for my first book,

I have a stack this
high I could pitch you,

I have been collecting
them for years

and I just read the
most amazing manuscript!

I think it's a
first-time author,

but the story
was so incredible!

Uh, these, uh,
look promising.

You can go forward
with phase two.

Phase two?

Oh, I've tried
going on a few dates,

the first guy, well,
he lied about his height,

the second guys
lied about his age,

third guy, well, he
lied about everything.

That's awful.

I need confirmation that
these men match my list, IRL.

IRL?

In Real Life.

Oh, okay.

You didn't think you
were done, did you?

No, of course not.

Okay!

Oh,

Abby, there's a YA book getting

a lot of buzz called
"Codename Grace",

I'd love your
opinion on it.

Really?

Junior editors bring
in 15-25 books a year,

I need to get a
sense of your taste.

You got it!

Okay.

Hey.

How's it going?
Anything I can help with?

No, thank you.

Just a little side project
that Susan has me working on.

Are you sure?

Yeah, no, definitely sure!

Okay, well,

let me know if you
change your mind.

Thanks!

[pop music]

♪ You took it

How do we find you
in real life?

♪ Didn't expect

♪ That your heart re-caged

♪ I'm going to get there

♪ With hope we'll get there

♪ I'm going to get there
and hope we will live there ♪

New to class?

Yep, it's my first time.

You're gonna love it,
it's stupid intense.

Oh.

You just wanna lock
your foot in there.

You are very helpful.

Oh.

Just, okay. [sighs]

[upbeat dance music]

Wow, this is intense!

It's like a Tour de France!

-I love the Tour de France!
-Oh, great!

Do you spend a lot
of time in France?

I go every year.

Last time I went, I was
mistaken for a Parisian.

All right.

Do you like French food?

Yes! Ratatouille
is my favorite. Mwah!

Is that the one
with onions?

Not the way I get it done,
I'm allergic to onions.

[pants] Great.

Oh!

I'll get it.

[bike squeaks]
[gasps]

Oh!

Hey, stop!

[music stops]

-You all right?
-Yeah.

Anything broken?

[music continues]

I'm good!

A little mortified.

Nah, it happens all the time.

Really?

Wow, you really are sweet.

That's what my mom says!

Oh, are you guys close?

She's my best friend.

We just bought a
duplex together.

♪ All my life

♪ I've burning up my song

♪ A widow

♪ I'm a widow

[phone ringing in background]

Come on!

Buy a carrot, a head of lettuce,

a kumquat,
something to cook with.

"Oh, I cook!"

Obviously this piece
is about the wretchedness

of living in a consumer society
where even the celebration

of a champagne bottle
becomes a complete blight

to the landscape within minutes.

Well, you can see how
he's marked the can

with striations up and down,

showing that all economic levels
are plagued by the same...

[trash crinkles]

[laughs]

Art!

Everyone's a critic.

[paper crinkles]

[paper thumps]
No, no, definitely no.

What about the one with the
woman who lost her mother?

We already have three lost
mother books in the works,

we need something fresh,

something that hasn't
been done before

and how is the special
assignment coming along?

Um...

Well.

How many of the six
you showed me

are still in the running?

None, but I--

Maybe I can help?

What do you know about it?

About the special project?

Nothing, but I am very
resourceful,

and a team player, and--

A receptionist who's
neglecting her desk.

I hope I don't have to
point out the necessity

for discretion and taste?

No, of course not!

I'm reviewing a new set
of prospects as we speak

and I'll have an
update for you shortly.

I will be right there.

Find me a book and a man,
or by the end of the week,

you will be finding
yourself a new employer.

Well, I know Dex
is a little behind.

Two days,

two weeks,

two months is a little
behind schedule--

Right.

But two years?

Yeah...

Well, hey,

he is an artist, we have
to trust the process.

I paid for a
book, not a process.

What's the blasted scribbler
been up to all this time?

Does he at least
have a first draft?

Yeah, yeah.

Wonderful.

That's a place to start.

Put us in touch and I will
be happy to work with him.

Oh, well, you know Dexter
never works with anybody,

that's his--

We'll do everything we
can to protect his privacy.

Okay.

-I'm very discreet.
-And I'm very impatient.

Yeah.

Tell your client
he has one week.

Either he turns
in his first draft...

or he turns in his advance.

They want their advance back.

This is serious, Dan!

I just came from there,
it's not a good scene!

What are you looking for?

Ham and Swiss on Rye.

What? Go order one,
that's how restaurants work.

No, it's, it's a
long story, nevermind.

What are you
talking about?

The advance,
they want it back

and I know you've
already spent your 90%.

No, I haven't.

Well, I've spent my 10%.

I'm just a little late.

A little late?

Two years doesn't
count as a little late.

I tried that excuse, especially
when it's already finished!

It's not finished.

Did you write the end?

Okay, it's finished,
but it's not ready.

Listen, sometimes you
just have to let it go,

let it flap it's
little baby book wings

and off it goes and everyone
loves it like they always do!

I don't love it, not
yet, so it's not ready.

You mean it's not perfect?

Yeah, it's not perfect.

What's the matter
with perfection?

I like my books the way
I like my relationships.

Oh, yeah?

Okay, cool, how's that
working out for you?

Let me answer that question,
no book and single.

[scoffs]

[phone ringing]

[Dan]
Hello?

Chipotle chicken?

Can I ask you a question?

I am an open book.

Does your friend
Greg have a lit agent?

Greg, you want Greg?

No, I want his book.

[Dan laughs]

The structure needs work

and the phrasing can
be a little awkward.

Yeah, I saw your markups.

Force of habit, once
that red pen comes out--

You're an editor?

I'm a junior editor.

Almost.

My boss is giving me one
chance to bring in a book

that will prove myself.

I want "All the Way to the Sky."

Why should Greg
trust his book to you?

Because I'm the only
one that wants it.

How did you?

I asked around,

it's been rejected by
every publishing house.

But they're all idiots
and morons and--

Blockheads.

-And nitwits.
-And numbskulls.

Twits.

[laughing together]

So?

I will hook you up with Greg,
under one condition.

Let me help.

What makes you think
I need your help?

Uh, you're a
junior editor almost.

What do you know
about publishing?

I've been around
publishing for years.

Doing what?

Freelancing.

-Uh-huh.
-Um-hmm, lots of hats.

Just trust me, okay?

Thank you.

What do you say?

There's no way I'm talking
you out of this, is there?

-Not a chance.
-Okay, then.

[glasses clink]

Well, onions.

You really hate onions.

Can't stand them.

How tall are you?

About 6'1".

And you live
with your mother?

No, no, I live with
a goldfish named Ahab.

Have you read "Anna Karenina"?

-Um-hmm.
-How many times?

I don't know,
two, three, maybe?

So not just for
college credit?

No.

No, because it's a beautiful
and tragically romantic book.

Why are you
grinning like that?

It's just nice to meet a
man who's a voracious reader.

[glasses clink]

Here is the coverage
on "Codename Grace"

for the YA meeting.

Have you read the book?

Yes.

-Can you speak to it?
-Um-hmm.

Great.

I'd like to introduce
you to the team,

so you're going
to do the pitch.

Now, first impressions
are essential,

you need to look like someone
who can meet a deadline

and knows how to
use a semicolon.

Oh, um, I have a candidate
for our special project.

Email me his profile.

He doesn't have a profile,
I met him IRL.

In real life?

At a bar?

Sandwich shop.

He's read "Anna Karenina"
three times

and here is his
Facebook profile.

Hmm, he's attractive, certainly.

There's not much
more information here.

He is a voracious
reader, he hates onions,

and he lives alone.

Except for a fish.

Are fish okay?

All right, just checking.

He's definitely
a possibility,

but I need more
information.

Okay.

Now, when you enter,
head up, shoulders back,

big smiles generally,
across the room.

Oh,

just be yourself.

Hello!

Hello, have you met Abby Morel?

My new protegee.

Are you sure about this?

Don't worry, this way
I can help guide things

and you get all Dex Hayes'
practical publishing experience.

And none of the risk?

Smart, dude, tres smart.

Greg Cooper.

I loved you book!

Thanks!

Hey.

I appreciate that,
but I'm a little nervous.

I've never worked
with an editor--

A junior editor almost.

Don't worry, we are not
going to change your book,

we're just going to enhance and
polish what's already there.

Okay, so to start
we're gonna look

at different aspects
of your book.

We'll start with word choice,

sentence structure,
rhythm and sound.

We need to take care of
the big problems, first.

Structure, character, theme.

Right, right, but
the larger elements

of the story do kind
of work hand-in-hand--

Right now, pretty
sentences don't matter,

we have bigger fish
to fry.

-I love this book!
-I love this book!

Okay, okay, wait.

Just, obviously, you both
want what's best for the book

and I think it's important
that we think big picture

and also consider
my word choice.

So...

how about it?

[upbeat music]

So, where did you meet Dan?

Cooking class, we were
studying a semester abroad.

-Where?
-Provence.

Oh!
Nice!

Wow, he must be
quite the chef.

I wouldn't go that far.

I mean, I'm pretty sure
he knows the difference

between a ladle
and a soup spoon.

Interesting, interesting.

What's interesting?

Just that you
must speak French,

because of your
semester in France.

Oh, that was a
long time ago,

I don't know how
much I remember

beyond escargot
and coq au vin.

That's enough.

And [speaking French],
I remember that.

So, how long do you
think it will take you

to make these changes?

Two weeks?

Ooh, ah--

Is there some kind of hurry?

Yeah, it's just we're
finalizing our fall lineup soon.

Hmm.

Two days.

Two days?

You can do it.

Nothing ventured,
nothing gained.

You have to trust the process
as imperfect as it is.

Right, Dan?

Hmm?

Yeah, yeah, wise words.

Do you want that last cookie?

Double-chocolate, too
rich for me, all for you.

Thanks. [laughs]

Okay...

rhythm.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hey, Brandon, it's Dan.

I've decided Belle and
Howe can have a chapter,

one chapter.

Halle-freakin'-lujah!

He's back, baby!

Okay.

All right, I gotta roll!

Yeah, yeah, bye.

[sighs]

She's not due for
another five minutes.

I know.

You're into her,
aren't you?

A junior editor almost,
of course not.

Well, then you don't wanna
hear about all the questions

she's been asking about you.

She asked about me?

Um-hmm.

A lot?
[Greg laughs]

Hey, what'd she say?

Guys!

-Hi!
-Hey.

Hey!

Well, what do you think?

It's perfect!

I'm ready to submit
it to my boss.

I'm on my way there now,

I just need you to sign this
release and we're good to go.

Okay.

Hmm, oh, right!

Great, thank you.

[light upbeat music]

Well, go on then!

Okay, I'm going, I'm going!

I'm gonna go!

[Dan laughs]

Well, you're just gonna
let her go off like that?

Oh, right, I should,

Abby!

Wait up!

You ask a lot of questions.

I'm a curious person!

Curious about me?

Curious about people.

That's not what Greg said.

-Well--
-So, fair is fair.

Now I get to ask
some questions.

-All right?
-How is that fair?

That's just,
just is, okay?

Okay.

What's your favorite color?

This is silly.

That is not silly.

This is silly.

Hey!

You want it back, answer
some questions, okay?

Favorite color?

Yellow.

Favorite food?

Double-chocolate anything.

Favorite relative?

My Aunt Ellie.

Favorite place?

My reading nook.

You have a reading nook?

Yeah, I used to
back in Toledo.

Everyone should
have a reading nook.

Right?

And then she said,

"Uh, of course I
didn't copy off of you,

no one can read
your handwriting."

[couple laughs]

It's dumb, I'm sorry.

What?

What are we doing here?

I work here!

Is something wrong?

No, just make sure when
you hand in Greg's book,

your boss is in a good mood.

Why wouldn't my boss
be in a good mood?

Just something I
learned as a freelancer,

the hard way.

Just trust me.

[engines roaring]

[phone ringing]

[papers rustling]

Was that really necessary?

That was the fourth
editor we let take a shot

at the Dexter Hayes chapter

and the fourth one
he shot down,

the man is a prima donna.

I'd like to throttle
him like a rag doll.

If only we knew
where to find him.

Oh,

I'll find him if I have to hire
every detective in the city.

And when I'm
through with him,

he will beg us to
publish his book!

Abby!
There you are!

Do you have anything new for me?

Nothing that
can't wait.

You better hurry,

my assistant comes back
in less than a week.

Ooh, who's this?

Another prospect.

You sure you want to hand
him off to your boss?

Of course.

That's not the way
you were looking at him.

How was I
looking at him?

Like he was made of
double-chocolate everything.

I was just thinking
what it'll be like

when I finally have
my boss' position

and I can work on
any book I want.

And I made a mockup of what
I think the cover should be

of the first book I edit.

I think it'll help sell
the project to my boss.

-What do you think?
-It's nice!

I mean, there's the title
and there's colors and...

Oh! [sighs]

Junior editor's a
really big jump for you.

Of course, there's gonna be
stuff you'll need to learn.

Okay, but I can't
ask my boss for advice,

I need this project to
go off without a hitch.

Is there not anyone else
you can ask for help?

No.

Oh, no.

-It's bad.
-Well--

-You hate it--
-I--

You think I'm a
junior editor never.

Do you want me to answer
any of these questions?

No... yes.

I think...

there's some place
I need to take you.

[light guitar music]

Okay, keep going, keep going.

Keep 'em closed, keep
'em closed, little step.

Okay,

just wait, wait.

Closed.

Okay, ready?

Open.

What is this?

This is my favorite
24-hour bookstore.

[Abby gasps]

Why is this a great cover?

It's easy to read,

and there's equal
spacing between the title

and author, suggesting that
the author's someone important,

someone that we should read.

And?

And the clipped letters
hint at the story being

about a kidnapping.

And the jagged font suggests

that it's serious,
not light-hearted.

Excellent.

Now, shelf placement.

This is the busy middle.

Galbraith, King--

Oh, Hayes.

Yep, say you have a name
like, say, Phil Brigg,

you end up down
around people's knees.

And people don't
read with their knees?

I don't think so.

So, you're a
Dexter Hayes fan?

Oh, of course!

His prose has it's own
kind of poetic lyricism.

But I do feel like

his secondary characters could
have a little bit more depth,

they tends towards
one-dimensional.

[laughs]
One-dimensional?

His characters are painfully
and extensively researched.

Oh, how would you
know about his research?

I don't, I just, he
feels that way, I think.

Hmm, I don't think so.

Oh, dear!

[laughs] Uh,
what are you doing?

It's more
eye-catching this way.

I love book signings,
don't you?

A book should
stand on its own,

who the author is
shouldn't be important.

Signings just give people
a chance to gawk and judge

and demand to know why
a book ended this way,

or why a character
didn't do that.

I don't think most
fans are like that!

I just think there's
something so special

about having a book
that the author

actually touched
with his own hands!

Did you know that 23%
of people are more likely

to tell a friend about
a book that's signed

and 16% are more
likely to recommend it.

I didn't know that.

Well, now you do.

You have got a disease,
you know that, right?

If loving books is wrong,
I don't wanna be right.

You might just
be the perfect woman.

A junior editor almost?

A future junior
editor, for sure.

Ooh!
[Dan laughs]

We should do this again.

Yeah.

Uh...

books.

Good night.

Okay,

yeah.

Goodnight!

[somber music]

Up kinda late for a
school night, aren't you?

What? No!

It's only 2:00 a.m.

Hot date?

It's not like that.

Hmm, you and that
Dan guy were looking

pretty starry-eyed
out on the stoop.

You were spying on us?

Absolutely.

For your information,

I'm turning him in
to Susan on Monday.

He's passed everything
I can think of.

All according to plan.

Exactly!

Just so you know,
love hates plans.

Goodnight!

[Susan] Oh, I don't know,

there are still
so many unknowns!

Does it really matter
if he can change a tire?

Well, uh?

I will get you an
auto club membership.

Problem solved.

Okay.
Okay, let's do it.

Yes!

Set something up,
casual, no pressure

and then you can make
an excuse and leave us.

Oh, just think,
he could be the one.

I've been waiting
for the right moment.

What's this?

It's my one.

My book.

[balls clattering
in next room]

Brandon?

Hi!

How'd you get in here?

-Kitchen window.
-No, you didn't.

I did.

You did, okay!

What's going on?

Rupert Belle, he's
having me followed!

He wants to find out the secret
identity of Dexter Hayes.

Whether you like it or not,
he's gonna get that book!

-I'm not scared of him.
-You should be!

Because I am!

I'm terrified!

He's like a boa constrictor
in a $5,000 suit!

Oh, once he gets a hold
of you. [screeches]

-You okay?
-No, I'm not okay.

But, I have an idea.

What if you got someone
to read the book,

like a second opinion?

Greg maybe,
he could do it!

Greg loves everything,
he'd praise my shopping list.

Well, somebody else then!

Someone with taste that could
give you honest feedback,

that you trust not
to spill the beans

about your secret identity.

Who am I kidding?

Why am I even talking
to you about this,

to you that person
doesn't exist!

They'd have to be--

Perfect?

Yeah.

Actually, I know
just the person.

Okay, now we're talking!

[Dan] Let's do this.

I'll be in here
if you need me.

Abby, there's something
that I want to tell you.

Abby, could I...
could I ask you a favor?

Can I tell you something, Abby?

[phone buzzing]
Oh!

Hello?

Hi, Dan!

Abby?

Hi, uh, I was
just thinking about you.

Well, I was just
thinking about you, too.

And Greg.

Oh.

I want us all to
meet with my boss,

something casual,
no pressure.

Yeah, it'll help if Greg
has a friend at the top.

So you'll be there,
you promise?

Wouldn't miss it.

Abby, I wanted to ask you--

Great, I'll send
over the details.

Bye.

Something.

[customers murmuring]
[door creaks]

Oh, good, you're here!

Okay, so, this is important.

When my boss gets here,
Susan, could you be charming?

Not that I think it'd be
hard for you to be charming,

I just, you guys
have a lot in common.

Right, uh, like what?

Um, you both love books.

Wow, an editor
that likes books,

what is this world
coming to?

I know.

Oh!

[Susan laughs]

[door creaks]

Oh, Susan!

I see you've already
met Greg Cooper!

We're old friends,

we've known each other
all of 10 seconds?

11.

12, 13.
[Susan laughs]

[Abby and Dan laugh]

Dan, this is Susan, she's
gonna help us with Greg's book.

Dan, so nice to meet you.

You, too.

Greg, help me
with the drinks?

Okay.

-So...
-So.

-Have a seat.
-Thank you.

Wine.

[audience applauding]

Hi, everyone.

I'm gonna be reading a
section from my novel.

[microphone screeches]

Wow.

Nervous.

I've uh, never
done this before.

Okay, so, here we go.

"And Jane looked
at me with pity.

''I don't believe in
soul mates,' she said

with a shrug so cold
and matter-of-fact

that I felt myself shiver.

I nodded, agreeing, 'You need
a soul to find a soulmate.'

And she was furious
and then suddenly quiet.

And I took a moment to explain.

'A soulmate is not someone

who makes us feel good
about ourselves as we are,

but someone who encourages us

to become the person
we're meant to be:

whole, complete, eternal.

[audience applauding]

[manuscript thumps]
[Abby sighs]

[Susan] Abby,
come in here, please!

You liked it!

Greg Cooper will be
the next big thing.

I'm going to personally
shepherd this one

through production,
distribution and marketing.

Excellent job.

I'll make sure Amanda keeps
you up to date on its progress.

Amanda?

My assistant.

She's back from her
honeymoon tomorrow.

Oh, right.

-And?
-And that's it.

Go pack your things.

Guess temp time
is over, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

Thought I did
everything right, but--

Well, I think I finally
got a recommendation

from a senior
editor in cookbooks,

so when I move up, maybe you'll
come back as receptionist.

All packed up?

Yeah.

Good, let's go.

What do you think?

-It's an office.
-It's your office.

You held up your end of
the deal and so have I.

You are officially Belle and
Howe's newest junior editor.

[gasps]

I can't believe it!

Well, you better,

you need to start putting
together a slate of titles ASAP.

Okay!

Oh, my gosh!

And Abby,
last night was amazing.

I have never felt
so much connection,

so much chemistry,
so much za-za-zoo!

Oh, za-za-zoo!

Good, good, do you think
he felt the same way, or--

Yes.

He just invited
me to go dancing.

You're coming, too, I mean,
he's bringing his friend

and since you
already know him--

Oh, yeah, I'm not--

I owe you all the
credit in the world.

You found me
the perfect man!

Tell me about it.

[lively Latin percussion music]

Do you see him anywhere?

Maybe he changed his mind?

No, he wouldn't do that.

Uh, why don't you look this
way and I'll go the other?

Okay.

[throat clearing]

Hi!

Hi.

You look nice.

Yeah, Greg lent me
his jacket,

he didn't want me
to embarrass him.

Greg?

Yeah, I can hardly
believe it myself.

Uh, Susan's
on the dance floor.

You should go ask
her to dance.

Really?

Of course!

Okay! [laughs]

-Go on!
-Okay!

[Susan laughs]

-Hey!
-Greg?

-Hey!
-Hi, you look really nice!

Yeah.

You know, I clean
up pretty good.

You seen where Dan went to?

Uh, yeah, he's with
Susan on the dance floor.

Oh...

Is it okay if I ask
my editor to cha-cha?

Oh, I'm really not good.

Don't worry.

I am.

Okay.

So, just like that, okay.

Mmm-hmm.

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

Cha-cha-cha.

One, okay, got it, yeah!

[shoes crunch]

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-That's fine.

-Let's just keep going.
-Okay.

One, two.

[laughs]

Oww!

No, it's fine, umm...

why don't we just
skip this one?

Yes, please.

Did I break it?

And so Rupert Belle threatens
to sue the entire chain

of booksellers
and start a boycott

and refuse to sell them any
of our titles, unless they agree

to put "Spaceman Jack
and the Pirate Princess"

front and center
in all their stores

and make it an Employee
Recommendation.

What I'm saying is, we know
how to make best-sellers.

But it's a terrible book.

It sold millions.

Sure, but it's
a terrible book.

Right?

Every 30 seconds,
a new title is published.

If these rates continue,
by 2052,

the number of book titles
published will exceed the number

of people who actually
read one book per year

by 19 million copies.

Desperate times require
desperate measures,

and Abby knows that, right?

Oh, you know that, huh?

Of course she does.

Abby has proven that she
can do whatever it takes

to get the job done.

[glasses clink reluctantly]

-Hey, Abby, wait up!
-Dan?

Where's Susan?

I left her and Greg
talking about preorders

and release strategies,
they're fine.

Are you sure Belle and Howe
is the publisher

you want to work for?

Yes, they're the best
in the business.

Yes, but Abby, some
of their practices,

even I didn't know
about that stuff.

If what Susan says
is true--

Look, I struggled for years
at a tiny publishing house

just to get one or two
titles to press.

As a junior editor
at Belle and Howe,

I'd work on dozens,
it's what I was born to do.

Yes, you were born to be
an editor, for sure.

The perfect editor.

Which is why I need a favor.

I wrote a book.

You?

A book, a whole book?

A whole book with a beginning,
middle and an end.

Would you be willing
to read a chapter or two,

give me your opinion,
your honest opinion?

Do I have any other kind?

Seriously, though,
I'd be honored.

You'd have to be sworn
to secrecy.

Cross my heart.

And you have to
read it at my house.

I can't let it out
of my sight.

Okay...

Paranoid much?

But I'll do it.

Great, well when?

Now.

Definitely now.

Otherwise curiosity
will keep me up all night.

Okay, let's do it!

I guess I should've
stuck with freelancing.

Let me get everything ready.

[fingers tapping]

Torn about Dexter Hayes?

You own every book
he ever wrote.

Uh...

Yeah, the thing is...

well, I...

I... you know what?
I'll tell you

what I really think about
him someday soon, okay?

But for now, follow me.

[gentle uplifting music]

[gasps] You have
a reading nook, too?

Everyone's gotta
have one, right?

Take it for a test drive.

[hand thumps]

Comfy.

Double-chocolate!

What else?

[sniffs]
Oh, yeah!

"If It Were You."

I can't read it if
you're staring at me.

Right, sorry.

Okay.

Sorry.

Give me the rest
of those pages,

or I swear by
everything holy,

I will take all
of the books you own

and I'm gonna superglue
the pages together

and you'll never be
able to read them again!

Do you like it?

Where do you
keep the glue?

Ah!

[Abby sighs]

Okay.

[feet tapping]

[soft piano music]

[papers rustle]

[Abby sighs]

Hey!

That bad?

That good.

I do have one thought.

Tell me.

Are you sure?

Tell me or I swear
by everything holy,

I'll superglue
every page you--

[laughs]
Okay, okay.

What if the professor
has a personal realization

about the value of honor?

It would mirror how
the main character regains

his own integrity and
provide a secondary comment

on your theme.

It was just a thought.

No.

That's it.

That's right, that's exactly
what it needs, you--

[Abby laughs]

You are amazing!
You're perfect!

I should go.

Sorry!

I just, I should
get ready for work.

Abby, I shouldn't have,
I'm...

It's fine, I just...

I really did love it.

[light music]
[shoes pounding]

[chair creaks]
[chair whooshes]

Abby?

Yes?

Hi!
[phone rings in background]

These came for you.

Wow, thank you.

How is the slate coming along?

Oh, actually, I read
something great last night.

It's a coming of age story
about a college student

who learned to tell the truth

even when no one
wanted to hear it.

Interesting,
sounds familiar.

Well, I look forward
to reading your coverage.

[phone ringing in background]

So?

So, what?

So, how did you
get a recommendation

from a senior editor
after only two weeks?

Well, I found a unique book
and a promising new author.

I submitted it to Susan,
she liked it, so here I am.

No, I have been submitting
book proposals for years!

It had to be more than that.

What did you do?

Just what I said.

[sighs]

[phones ringing in background]

[somber guitar music]

♪ Every time I get
to see you love ♪

♪ I know that I
would never have enough ♪

♪ Oh, why can't
I get you out ♪

♪ Out of my mind

♪ I feel for you

♪ I feel for you

Oh, my gosh, Abby, are
you okay, what happened?

It's my list!

I was looking at it,
do you know what this is?

It's Dan!

He checks every single box!

He's my...
he's my list guy.

Well, duh,
what's the problem?

Susan.

If I tell Susan that I like--

-Love?
-Okay!

Dan,

she'll fire me.

I mean, all my life,
I have,

I have dreamed about
bringing great books

into the hands of little
girls like I used to be.

That's a good dream.

I meant, that's
a great dream,

but there are a lot of ways
to make that dream happen

and there's only one Dan.

There is one list guy.

I don't know...

I just, I don't know.

What would Susan do
if she had to pick

between her career and
a chance at true love?

[Abby sighs]

[upbeat dance music]

Who are you looking for?

Greg and Dan.

I thought it'd be good
for Greg to get an idea

of what a launch
party is like.

We've been seeing
a lot of each other.

[ladies laugh]

Okay, [sighs]

I'm gonna tell Abby
that I'm Dexter Hayes.

What?

Yeah, she's gonna
figure it out eventually

and, uh, I want her
to hear it from me.

You trust her that much?

Yeah, I do,
she's perfect.

[car honks]

Oh, good timing!

-How's my hair?
-Brutal.

[soft romantic music]

Abby.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

You, too, look nice.

I mean, uh,

-I need to tell--
-To tell you something.

[both together]
Me first.

Can I go, please?

Come here...

I'm Dexter Hayes.

Well, he's me,
I mean.

Abby?

I can't believe
I didn't realize.

I'm so stupid!

You're not, you're not.

Definitely not.

You're Dexter?

[laughs] Yes.

You let me read it
knowing I'd figure it out?

Yeah, I knew that I
could trust you completely.

Oh, what did you
wanna tell me?

I uh, I...

I, uh...

I have to go
to the bathroom.

Okay.

Hi, can I talk
to you for a second?

[Susan]
Yes, of course.

What is going on?

I kissed him.

You did what?

After dancing, at his
house and I liked it,

a lot.

And I don't care if you fire me,
I'm in love with Dan.

Dan?

Yes, Dan, what do you mean?

Dan!

I mean, he's nice

and I see why you
thought he fit my list,

but no,
no, thank you.

What? What about dancing

and spending a lot of time
together and za-za-zoo!

I was talking about Greg!

I thought you knew!

What?

Oh!

Thank goodness, wow!

I've been saying that
a lot lately, but wow.

-You should sit down.
-Okay.

[sighs]

Oh, I have to tell Dan.

Especially after he
told me, nevermind.

He trusts me, I have
to tell him everything.

I have to tell him
about the list,

about asking all
those questions,

about trying to
set you two up,

about trying to figure out if
he was the right guy for you!

You're right, he
deserves to know.

Uh, wait, what?

What happened to
doing whatever it takes

and you gotta be
ruthless and all that?

Being around Greg has made
me rethink a lot of my choices.

He's a good man, he
makes me wanna be better.

That's good.

That's great even.

I should get back to him.

I'll be right there.

[door creaks]

[fist raps]

Just a minute!

Minute's up.

Beatrice?

That junior editor job
should have been mine.

I thought you didn't
have a recommendation.

That is beside the point!

I saw you talking to
that poor guy out there,

he's part of that
special project

you were working
on for Susan, right?

He thinks he's head
over heels for you,

but it was all just a lie
so that you could get ahead!

I've seen too many people try
and get ahead at this company

by walking all
over other people,

I am not gonna let
that happen this time!

Beatrice!

Beatrice?
[door rattles]

Beatrice, no!

Beatrice!
[fist pounding]

Stop, please!

I'm gonna tell him!

Beatrice, no!
[fist pounds]

I have to be the
one that tells him!

[fist pounds]

Well, we did it.

-You look all right.
-What did he do?

Could be worse.
Rupert's staring at me.

[pounding]

Help, please!

Can anyone hear me?

Then I found out
it wasn't my kid.

-You're Dan, right?
-Yeah.

I'm Beatrice, I'm
a friend of Abby's.

I think there's something
you should know.

[Abby gasps]

Hey, Dan!

I need to talk to
you, hey, wait!

I should have known better.

Anybody that works in
this place can't be trusted

to be honest.

I... you weren't that
honest with me either about,

about you know who.

I mean, you made me
look like an idiot, I--

Don't talk to me.

I'm so disappointed.

Abby, what happened?

Somebody beat me to it.

Well, I'm sure you--

I thought he trusted me.

He wouldn't even hear
my side of the story.

Oh, Abby.

Dexter Hayes' agent
just informed me

that he's withdrawing
"If It Were You,"

returning his advance,

and refuses to work
with us ever again.

This is a disaster!

Do you know something
about this?

The new project you
were telling me about,

the college student.

That's the same story as
the Hayes book, you read it.

You know who Dexter Hayes is?

I...

I know.

Yes!

This is exactly what we need!

We'll put so much
pressure on Dexter,

he'll beg us to
publish his book!

That's not fair!

That's business!

Now, I can make a
deal with anyone,

I just need to get
him into the room.

He doesn't wanna be
in a room with you.

Either you give me that name,

and I give you anything
you want, anything.

Or...

You play hardball,

and I'll sue you
for breach of contract.

Hey!

The choice is yours.

This is a disaster.

Hey, we'll find
another publisher,

we'll get another advance.

I'm not just worried
about the money,

-I'm worried about--
-Abby.

She knows who Dexter Hayes is.

Oh, so how long
'til she sells you out

for the corner office?

Abby wouldn't do that!

Right, Dan?

I don't know.

[door knocking]

Beatrice?

Can I talk to you, Abby?

Why don't you leave that open.

Right, okay.

Sorry.

And I am sorry.

I heard what happened
last night with Rupert

and what I did,
it was awful.

I was frustrated and angry,

but that does not
make what I did okay,

especially when I didn't
have all the information.

Can you forgive me?

Maybe.

If you teach me that
trick with the broomstick.

I guess it does
come in handy.

Well...

This is goodbye.

I finally got
a recommendation

and I'm leaving
Belle and Howe.

You're looking at the
new editor for YA Lit

for Winslow Press.

I guess there is someplace
else I'd rather be.

Congratulations.

And good luck.

You, too, Abby.

What did she want?

To apologize
and say goodbye.

Rupert asked me to give
this to you as a gift.

First edition of
Dexter Hayes' first book.

Not signed of course, but still
worth about a month's rent.

Oh.

Are you gonna give
up Dexter's real name?

I don't know.

When I first met Dexter,

I had no idea he
was a famous author.

He just kept letting
me think that.

He let me look like
a complete idiot,

babbling on about his work

and it's not like we're really
friends or anything else.

This was always my dream.

Yeah.

Me, too.

Well, after the
astronaut thing.

[Abby laughs]

But maybe Beatrice is right.

I don't know that I
wanna be the person

I'd have to be to keep it.

Yeah, me too.

Do you think you could set
something up with Greg for me?

[plate clinks]

So what did you want
to talk to me about?

Just thought you
could use a sandwich.

You haven't left your
house in three days.

Yeah, might as well enjoy it.

[plate clinks]

Goodbye, regular Joe.

Hello, celebrity author.

See you later.

So how much is
my name worth?

You hold out
for senior editor,

or was my corner
office enough?

Your boss must have
given you something?

I don't have a boss, I quit.

You did that?

You did that for me?

No...

I did that for me.

I don't wanna be the
person I'd have to be

to stay at that company.

But I want you to know
that your secret's safe.

Look, I know that what I did
to get ahead was not okay.

but you lied too,
even if it was by omission.

You said that you trusted me...

But the second you learned
that I had made a mistake...

that I was less than perfect...

You ran out on me.

And you wouldn't even
hear my side of the story.

You know what?
That's not okay, either.

[somber music]

And what kind of trust is that?

[objects clanking]

I brought you a succulent!

What's going on?

I quit.

Drama,

infighting,

mean-spirited, unethical

and sometimes illegal behavior
is the norm at Belle and Howe

and I'm getting out.

What are you gonna do?

What is should've
done a long time ago,

start my own imprint.

Really?

Well, I happen
to know this,

this junior editor
who needs a job.

That's too bad, I don't
need a junior editor.

But I do need a partner.

[lively music]

Oh, man.

I brought you this.

♪ Good, good, life is good

♪ I never had a doubt

♪ And I took this ruse

♪ Good, good

♪ Life is good

♪ Good, good

♪ Life is good

♪ You always need a raise

♪ But I know you should

♪ Good, good

♪ Life

♪ Is good

♪ I [good, good]

♪ Can take it off the ground

♪ Now

♪ Can't see myself from

♪ And by

♪ Would you like
to go with me? ♪

♪ Me

♪ Good, good

♪ Life is good

♪ I never had a doubt

♪ And I took this ruse

♪ Good, good

♪ Life is good

Dan?

Abby.

You're right, I should
have trusted you enough

to listen to your side
of the story and then some.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I don't know if you heard,
but I need an editor...

Any chance you'd take that on?

You're the only one I'd trust.

You'd do that for me?

No, I'd completely
do that for me.

Mmm-hmm.

This...

I'm doing for us.

♪ Wakin' up

♪ And takin' chances tonight

♪ I'm openin' my eyes

♪ And I'm feelin' alive

♪ I don't wanna be

♪ Anywhere but by your side

They're here!

The new run is here!

[laughs]

♪ Alive

[throat clearing]

"Finally I knew I didn't
need the world's attention,

his was enough."

"Neither one of us was perfect,

but we were perfect
for each other."

"Each one pushing, pulling,
demanding and accepting

until finally I saw,
in all of the world,

there was no one else for him
and then no one better for me."

♪ You've given me

♪ All the strength that I need

♪ Oh

♪ I feel alive

♪ Wakin' up

♪ And takin' chances tonight

♪ Wanna know if I can be
by your side ♪

♪ I don't wanna be
anywhere but by your side ♪

♪ I just wanna be

♪ Here feelin' alive

♪ Alive

[upbeat electronic dance music]

♪ Don't know why

♪ I wanna stand in a row

♪ All my life

♪ I've been burnin' up a song

♪ Get up, now get it up

[fade into soft romantic music]