Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

(birds chirping)

(coughing)

(heavy breathing)

- 'Bout time you need to call a cab, Laurie.

(faint speaking)

- [Man] 45:05.

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve,

thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.

45:20.

(heavy breathing)

45:25.

45:30.

- Shit.

- [Man] 45:35.

45:40.

(faint speaking)

- Yes, Ted, I have most of, in fact,

I think all of the details.

They're, uh, all here.

Sit on the end there, Geoff.

Right around, fellas.

Over there, Frank, if you don't mind.

Good, thanks.

- How's the Mrs, Jim?

- Oh, not back, Jock, not bad.

(friendly chatter)

- Right gentlemen, let's get down to business.

We think the price you're asking for young Geoff

is outrageous, but we want the lad so we're gonna pay it.

- Well if you hadn't, there's others who would.

He's the best player to come out

of Tasmania since Darrel Baldock.

- [Jock] What are you studying, Geoff?

- Economics.

- Ah, I don't really hold with

young blokes going to university,

puts some funny ideas in their heads.

Not going to interfere with your football, is it?

- He came over to play football, Jock.

Anything else comes second.

- This club has a great tradition, Geoff.

We've never had to pay big money for players before

because every kid in the country wanted to play for us

just for the honour of wearing our jersey.

- Those days are gone, Jock.

- I know they're gone, but the kid should know!

This club has a proud tradition.

- Oh yeah?

You haven't won a bloody premiership for 19 years.

- Sign here on the last page, Geoff.

- How much of this money actually goes to me?

- Well it's quite a complicated thing--

- How much, essentially?

- Upwards of $20,000, plus your yearly contract.

- It's not enough.

- What do you mean, Geoff?

It's a great deal!

- Yeah, for you.

You get most of the money!

- What is this?

We agreed on the price weeks ago!

- Come on, Geoff, the club always gets the bulk of the cash!

- Yeah, well I wanna a better

deal than this or I won't sign.

- Oh, this is bloody lovely!

We've players over here with more expense

than they put in the entire bloody Moscow State Circus

and you can't even deliver the goods!

- Oh get off it, Jock!

We didn't know the kid was pulling something like this!

- Knowing you, Frank, you probably put him up to it.

- Oh Jesus, Jock, I'll drop you, I tell you!

- Amateurs, you plod about like bloody amateurs!

- Just sign the bloody thing!

- What sort of business is it if you can't

deliver the goods, and don't try--

- Listen, I'm warning you, shut up, shut up!

- Calm down!

Can we establish a new negotiating perspective?

- Just sign the thing, Geoff!

It's as good a deal--

- Not until I get more money!

- [Ted] How much more money?

- 10,000.

- We're at the upper limit of our authorizations.

- Yes, but we don't want to lose the boy, Gerry.

I'll pay it personally.

(players chattering)

- Why didn't you have the guts to tell me?

I don't care how good this Geoff Hayward is,

it's crazy to spend all our money on a kid

who hasn't proven himself in the big league!

- Look Laurie, I was a coach of this club myself

for 15 years, I know talent when I see it.

Oh, this kid's gonna make you eat your words.

- You'd better be right, Jock.

You just better be right!

Right fellas, this is our new boy, Geoff Hayward.

I want ya to make him feel welcome.

(clapping)

- 120,000 for that rabbit.

- Suck.

- Alright, now there's no need to tell you

that all the skill in the world

isn't gonna help you in this game

unless you've got one thing, and that is?

- [All] Guts.

- [Laurie] Come on, I didn't hear it!

- [All] Guts!

- Right!

Two groups, 20 metres apart.

Alright, Geoff against Tank.

- Beauty.

- I hope he's insured.

Oh, shit.

- [Laurie] Come on, Geoff, you'll have

to do better than that.

This isn't Tasmania, you know!

- Go on, Tank, get him.

(laughing)

♪ Well you work to earn a living ♪

♪ But on weekends comes the time ♪

♪ You can do what ever turns you on ♪

♪ Get out and clear your mind ♪

♪ Me, I like football ♪

♪ And there's a lot of things around ♪

♪ But when you line 'em up together ♪

♪ The footy wins hands down ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, in there and fight ♪

♪ Out there and at 'em, show 'em your might ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, don't let 'em in ♪

♪ Fly like an angel, you're out there to win ♪

- We all are good at training, it's matches that count.

♪ Now there's a lot more things to football ♪

♪ Than really meets the eye ♪

♪ There are days when you could give it up ♪

♪ There are days when you could fly ♪

♪ You either love or hate it ♪

♪ Depending on the score ♪

♪ But when your team run out or they kick a goal ♪

♪ How's the mighty roar ♪

(crowd roaring)

♪ Up there cazaly, in there and fight ♪

♪ Out there and at 'em, show 'em your might ♪

- Brian Shaw, 23.

♪ Up there cazaly, don't let 'em in ♪

- Geoff Hayward, 24.

♪ Fly like an angel, you're out there to win ♪

- Brock Maynard, five.

(players applauding)

♪ Up there cazaly, in there and fight ♪

- Let's go, let's go, let's go!

♪ Out there and at 'em, show 'em your might ♪

- Another one in, mate.

What do we do now, go and shoot ourselves?

- Just try harder.

- [Man] Game on.

- Where you been?

- Get stuffed.

- Get off the field and wait for me in the changing room.

Where do you think you're going?

- [Geoff] Home.

- [Laurie] I wanna talk to you.

- Back off!

- [Laurie] Watch it!

- Hey Laurie, you've got the highest paid recruit

in the history of league football

coming out from under wraps, how will he go?

- I don't wanna talk about the individuals, Lou.

- [Lou] But you must have a lot of faith in the lad.

- Laurie, if you paid as much as you're

supposed to pay for this recruit,

I reckon you're out of your crazy little minds.

You're paying these fellas, they're March champions, and--

- [Lou] Hey, wait a minute, Jack, what's a March champion?

- [Jack] A March champion comes down in March,

practises amazing practise game,

shows a lot of potential, then disappears.

I've seen 'em come and go.

(crowd chattering) (happy music)

- Alright, now before the season's even started

we've had the sports writers on our backs,

telling us we're no good, that we're has-beens, hacks,

and that we haven't got the chance in hell

of getting into the finals.

(players muttering)

Alright!

Now I'll tell you something.

Those bastards are gonna choke on their words!

Right!

Get up there and get out!

(players chattering)

- Appears there's a capacity crowd here today,

round about 45,000 people, and young Hayward'll

will be certainly under plenty of pressure, won't he?

- Yes, about $120,000 worth, I believe.

- I'd say so, and if he makes a mistake

he'll have this entire crowd on his back.

- And the committee, I'd think.

- [Announcer] There's the bounce, down she goes.

In comes Jones for the knock out.

Hayward moving around there, too,

as the ball is knocked out by Jones.

The ball down towards Carlton's halfback line

and Collingwood going to attack now

as they send the ball well down there.

But there's a good mark to Edwin,

a very good mark indeed.

Ashton ready now to send the ball back into attack.

Across the centre half forward position.

Gets around his opponent very nicely.

The ball's shot back up there towards

the half back player.

Hayward coming across, goes for the plunge.

It's a good one, but it's to the wrong man,

and Carlton goes back into attack again.

Galwood's coming to the half forward line--

- He's coming on.

- [Announcer] There to Edwards.

- [Man] Punch it, punch it!

- [Announcer] He's looking there now for Hayward

to give a handpass to, which he does.

But Hayward's got a touch of the fumbles.

He goes down for the count.

- Don't give ground for Christ's sake!

Get back in there and try again.

- So Collingwood's still struggling there

on that half forward as we see Carlton

pick the ball up through Johnson.

A lovely handpass going over to Brown who's going for goal,

and I think it may be through for six points.

Yes, it's a goal for Carlton,

and they're looking mighty good at the moment.

Johnson's amazing.

Let's see the start of the bounce again.

There she goes.

(crowd cheering)

And that's Collingwood going into attack

or trying to get themselves back into attack,

but they're finding it difficult.

Down towards their half forward line, Magrow in front there.

Couldn't quite hold the mark, it hits the ground now.

A chance for Collingwood's Moore to crash through the pack,

and look at him go, this big bloke.

He can't get himself, he's gone without the ball that time.

He lost sight of it completely.

You certainly can't do that in football

if you wanna be a success.

A chance for Collingwood to come back now,

but are they good enough?

Out there on the halfback flank is Daicos.

Thrust there to Haywood, he goes for the mark.

He closes his eyes!

He should have a seeing eye dog out there,

as we see McCullough give a handpass

over there to his teammate Brown.

Brown's gonna move away from the pack,

and once again we see Carlton get the ball

up there towards their forward line.

This is Milan stepping around Moore.

He's dropped the ball,

but Moore's got a good arm on him.

- Oh, please!

- [Announcer] In comes Shaw to try and pick it up

and clear it out of the danger zone.

He's down, but not quite out.

He stumbles, he fumbles, and now he turns

looking for a mate to handpass the ball to.

Over it goes to Haywood,

but he's got a touch of the fumbles,

and (speaking drowned out by jeering).

He loses the ball, and he's stuffed.

- 120,000 for what?

- [Announcer] I bet they (crowd drowns out speaking).

Collingwood's not looking good at all.

- Get Haywood off and put Simpson on.

- I see that Holden's got Simpson

warming up on the bench down there.

Looks like they might take someone off.

Well he's going out on the ground now.

- Who's it gonna be?

- I think it's Haywood.

Yes, it's Haywood, they're dragging him off.

And that's one for the book,

because halfway through the first quarter

they drag off their top recruit.

By golly, there'll be hell to pay

in the dressing rooms tonight.

I'd hate to be there.

(crowd yelling and jeering)

(whistle shrieking faintly)

Back in this game, there's Johnson driving through the pack.

Now it goes to McCullough, and how is that for a mark?

And once again Carlton drives the ball

up toward their forward position.

(crowd cheering)

But the goals are raining here at the moment for the Blues.

- What's the meaning of taking Geoff Haywood off?

- What's the meaning of you telling me how to run the game?

- I'm the president of this club, Laurie,

and if I've got an opinion to express, I'll express it!

- Not to me!

Not during a game!

Now get outta here and let me get on with the job!

- Sign this for me, okay?

(kids chattering)

- Laurie, we're getting persistent rumours, mate,

that there's strife within the club over Geoff Haywood.

Would you care to comment?

- No, Scott.

- Well why was Ted Parker in the coaches box

during the first match, Laurie?

- Because it's hard for some people

to stop sticking their noses in

where they're not wanted, isn't it, eh?

- If the kid--

- No comment, just leave it alone.

- I think, I think it's better to stay cool, Gerry.

Don't you think, better to stay cool?

- Ted!

(tyres squealing)

(speaking in foreign language)

- If you stay as cool as you are now,

you'll wipe us both out!

Thanks for coming, Laurie.

The committee thought we oughta thresh this

thing out privately before we took any action.

- Fine.

I shouldn'ta said anything to the press.

But what I did say, I meant.

- The committee, naturally, is very upset

about those press statements,

but they don't wanna have to ask

for your resignation, Laurie.

You're one of the best coaches this club's ever had.

We'd find it almost impossible to replace you.

The club's going through a slump, but nobody's blaming you.

- I should bloody well hope not.

- Holy Jesus, Laurie, there's no need

to be totally self-righteous.

When a team is playing as badly as ours is playing,

most coaches would be willing to accept some of the blame!

- Ted.

- You know, it really makes me wonder

whether there's any point to this whole exercise.

We come to you in a spirit of conciliation

and you jump down our throat at the first opportunity.

- The committee is very angry about

those press statements, Laurie.

- What's my sin, Laurie?

What's my crime?

All I can gather from this article

is some vague accusation that I'm autocratic!

- All I said is some people stick their

nose in where it's not wanted.

They made the rest up themselves.

- If I have opinions I'll express them, Laurie!

- Ted, come on.

- I was elected by the members of this club to lead it.

Now I'm sick of pussy-footing around, Gerry.

He's called me autocratic,

he just didn't come up with the same words.

- Well I wouldn't know where to start.

- You think we could continue this discussion upstairs?

- I know what he resents.

He resents the fact that I've got

a level-headed business approach to the club

and that that approach is gonna pay off.

He'd like to take us back to the days

of the glorious club tradition.

- [Laurie] Rubbish!

- It's no good waiting for players to come to you.

You've gotta go out into the marketplace and fight for 'em.

- I've been asking the committee

to buy players for years, and you know it!

Don't give me a lecture about tradition.

- Alright, so why are we fighting?

- Because you're buying the wrong bloody ones!

- Where's all that spirit we had

when I was elected last year?

It cannot have evaporated.

Remember my election slogan, the great leap forward?

Boom or bust?

What happened?

- [Danny] We bust!

- What do you want?

- The players would like their point of view heard

before the committee makes any move on Laurie.

- The players can go to hell, come on, Gerry.

- And always could as far as you're concerned, Parker!

And we'd just like the committee to know

that we're 100% behind Laurie!

- Well you can just go and tell the players

that the committee are 100% behind me!

- Well then perhaps the committee had better

roll up on Saturday and play the match!

- What's that meant to mean?

- Ted.

- It means if that bloody committee of yours

gives Laurie the boot, then we go on strike next Saturday.

- Delightful, a strike threat.

- It's no threat, we mean it!

- Calm down, mate, and go home.

- Did you hear that, Gerry, a strike threat?

- Let's go upstairs.

- There'll be no strike.

- I should bloody well hope not!

- Come on, calm down!

- Because that's the way to get the community

already with us (mumbling).

- Ted, for Christ's sake.

- No, the next thing you know there'll be

a stop work meeting every time the umpire blows his whistle.

- How can he run a team with you

sticking your nose in every week?

- Stick my nose in?

I don't stick my nose in.

- It's not your job to pick the bloody team.

- Well I don't, I'm not on the selection committee.

- No, but you take two-thirds of 'em into the bar

and talk for four hours every Wednesday night.

- Jock and Tony, but so what?

The team's barely discussed.

- (laughing) Well that's not what I heard.

- Laurie, have you ever thought that I've

tried to influence the selection of the team?

- Yes.

- What, when?

- You told Jock and Tony that

Geoff Hayward was not to be dropped.

- I didn't tell him any such thing!

- Danny, this is confidential.

- I'm not allowed to express an opinion?

Geoff's struggling to perform at the moment,

and you and your mates and Laurie aren't helping.

You're making him feel about as welcome

as a blowfly at a butcher's picnic.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

We had planned to all give him a big kiss,

but we thought he'd be in a hurry

to get home and count his money.

- My God, if you're trying to tell me

the team's playing badly because

it's still sulking over a bit of money

that went into the pocket of a legitimate

champion then I'm disgusted.

- There are a lot of legitimate champions in this club,

Parker, and all we got for joining

was a guernsey and a pat on the back!

I've given the club over 10 years of my life,

and all I've got in the bank is $80.

- Well then you must be a hell of a far spender, Rowe.

You're on a bloody good contract and you're

due for your provident fund when you retire.

- Oh, I can hardly wait.

Take my two best mates to the Pizza Palace

and put the other half in the bank.

- Danny, you've left us no doubt

as to the player's point of view,

but could we talk about this some other time?

- Sorry I'm late, what are you doing here?

- Oh, he just dropped in to tell us

that if we take any action over Laurie,

the players will go on strike.

- Strike?

(mumbling) the bastards strike.

I've never heard anything like it in me life!

Who's involved?

Give me their names.

No one's gonna hold this club for ransom,

I'll suspend the lot of ya.

Who else is involved?

- Everyone, except Geoff Hayward.

It'll give him a chance to show

what a real champion he is.

- This is a disgusting and a despicable threat, Danny.

I've played 282 game for this club,

and every time I ran out onto that ground

I felt as honoured to be out there

wearing my club colours as I did the very first time!

- Calm down, Jock!

They'll be out there playing on Saturday,

no matter what happens, and you know it.

- Oh God, I never thought I'd live to see the day

when I'd hear the work strike uttered in this room.

Look at them pictures up there, Danny.

Danny, I'm talkin' to ya.

Look, Cheetah Ryan, the greatest centre man of all time.

Warren Oates, only 5'7",

but with a heart as big as a pumpkin.

Mike Lenner, Jerry Dunstin, Sandy Forbes.

Great names from a great club.

And you've got the honour and the tradition

that they created restin' right there in your hands.

- And the crap from the present

administration right up our nostrils!

- Don't get too cocky, Rowe.

Any player found guilty of a gross misdemeanour

can lose every cent of his provident fund.

- Bullshit!

- It's true isn't it, Gerry.

- No.

Now can we please get back to--

- You know what I wanna do?

I wanna turn every one of them pictures around

so they don't have to look down

on this whole shameful scene.

How would Harry Payne feel if he knew

that the word strike was being bandied around

in this hallowed room?

Just tell me that, eh?

How would he feel?

I mean, the man who kicked three super-human goals

(mumbling).

I wouldn't be surprised if he's

turnin' in his grave right now!

- [Danny] He isn't even dead!

- Harry?

I went to his funeral last year.

- That was Harry Tralore.

- Shit yeah.

Well, there's so many of 'em dropping off I get confused.

But it doesn't alter my argument.

Dead or alive, what's happened here today

is a disgrace to their memories.

Them players up there on the wall loved this club.

They would have done anything for it.

Why, during the depression they

practically played for nothing.

- Then they were stupid!

Look, if I'm going out there to risk a fractured skull

or a ruptured spleen for the amusement of a pack

of overweight drunks in the grandstand bar,

then I wanna get paid for it! - Overweight drunks!

Oh, so that's what you think of your supporters, eh?

Well just for your information,

I had two of the country's top businessmen

watching the match with me last week,

and just by the way, they were drinking tomato juice.

- Yeah, well if you'd been there since morning

that's probably all that was left.

- Just watch yourself, Rowe!

You're not indispensable around here!

- What's that meant to mean?

- You're 29 and slowing down.

You only had 12 kicks and four hand balls last week.

- First time I've dropped under 20 disposals

since the start of the season.

- It's the first time you found

yourself on a classy opponent.

- Everyone gets beaten once in a while, Parker!

- Danny, you played a good game.

Now don't let him needle you.

- Really, gentlemen--

(speakers drown each other out)

- For 10 years, game in, game out.

- Just calm down.

- The first time I have a bad day, he's on to me.

Well what gives you the right

to sit in judgement on me, you fat turd?

Go get back - Don't you talk

to me like that! - to the pie factory!

- Calm down!

- Danny, you've given the club great service,

and only a fool would deny it.

- Oh, he's allowed to call me a drunk,

I'm not allowed to tell him he's played a bad game?

- Shut up, Ted, or I'll thump ya.

- Yes, for Christ sakes. - Jesus Christ!

- Can we start on the real business of the day?

Danny, perhaps it would be better if you waited outside.

You've left us in no doubt as to the player's point

of view and it will be taken into account.

- Yeah, well when something definite happens

the players want to be notified!

- Hey, phone you straight away.

- I need a drink.

- Me too.

- You just watch the way you

speak to me in the future, Parker.

Otherwise, you'll end up gettin' flattened!

- Well that's lovely.

A player threatens the president of the club

with physical violence and nobody says a word.

- Ah, shut up, Ted.

You're lucky he didn't slug ya.

You gotta be bloody tactful when

a player's getting on in years.

You ever played the game yourself you'd know.

I remember Tommy Roberts took me

apart in the '39 Grand Final.

When I got home, Dulcie says to me,

I think you've met your match, today.

So I thumped her one.

She apologised later, but by then the damage was done.

- Look, can we forget about strikes,

forget about Danny, and get down to settling

this dispute between Laurie and Ted.

- Oh, I was wondering when we'd get around to that.

Now the first thing I want understood by Ted

and everyone else around here is that

I will handle the team and Geoff Hayward

in my own way without interference.

- It's not your place to be handing out ultimatums, Laurie.

The committee's on the point of demanding your resignation.

- Look, either I--

- What's this about Geoff Hayward?

He'll come good.

- We do have a problem with him, Jock.

He's openly defying Laurie to the point of coming to blows.

- Who told you that?

- I've been keeping my ear to the ground.

- That's lovely, coming to blows.

- That why you wanted him down in the reserves?

- I wanted him in the reserves because

he was playing atrociously in the seniors.

- Well you could have told me that, Laurie.

No sense having one of your men

play up on you, you ought to know that.

Had to lay you out behind the lockers in your

first year before I got any sense outta ya.

- Well those sort of methods don't work anymore.

- Yeah, so why are you using them on Geoff?

- I made a mistake.

- Bullshit, a good stomp never hurt anyone.

- If your relationship with Geoff

has deteriorated to the point of fisticuffs,

then you've got no damn right on insisting

on handling the problem yourself.

- Either I handle it or I resign!

- Laurie.

Laurie, the committee is insisting

on a joint press statement to the effect

that you and Ted have settled your differences.

- Well the committee can get stuffed!

- Laurie!

♪ Sittin' here on a summer's day ♪

♪ Settin' in my tan ♪

♪ Nothing really matters ♪

♪ If it don't rain at all ♪

♪ Let's talk about the good times ♪

♪ Really roll along ♪

♪ Sitting out and working out how to play this song ♪

- Look at him.

Leaves his wife and kids for some Avis Rent-A-Car sheila.

I'll tell ya what, Dulcie, none of these players

these days have got one ounce of moral fibre.

- Relax.

- Bastard.

Didn't give me a chance.

- What does it matter?

- Stuff him.

Stuff the club.

They've treated me like shit ever since I arrived,

so why should I bloody well bother?

- You're just being exploited, anyway.

It's not a game, it's a business.

Here, try some of this.

It'll calm you.

- Why not?

♪ So let your hair down slowly ♪

- Do you know what I've been thinking?

Let's stop trying to appease the bastard and sack him.

- It's a tempting thought.

- Then why don't we do it?

- It's difficult to replace a coach

during the season, and he knows it.

- We're gonna sack him at the end of the year anyway,

why don't we do it now?

- We're gonna try to sack him.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

He hasn't exactly been a failure, you know.

We've only been out of the finals once in eight years.

- Yeah, well right now we're second from the bottom

with three straight losses.

Laurie, Laurie's a dead duck.

- [Arthur] Good evening, Mr. Parker.

- Good evening, Sir Arthur, Lady Mary.

- They say he was a great player.

- Oh yes, and my aunt makes great scones,

it doesn't mean she should run a cake factory.

If he stays he's gonna have to apologise to me.

- He won't.

- In the press!

- He won't, so be reasonable.

The best we can hope for is a joint press statement

to the affect that you've settled your differences.

- He can apologise or resign, Gerry!

Good evening.

- [Man] Having a good time?

- [Gerry] Good evening.

We gonna strike enough trouble when we

try to get rid of him at the end of the season.

- I don't see why, not the way he's performing.

- [Gerry] Alright, alright, so let him keep going,

let him keep on losing, we'll get rid of him

at the end of the year without a whimper of protest.

(drum roll music)

- Ladies and gentlemen, would you please put

your hands together in a really warm welcome

for that titillating and tantalising Miss Throper!

(crowd cheering)

♪ Up there cazaly ♪

♪ In there and fight ♪

♪ Out there and at 'em ♪

♪ Show 'em your might ♪

♪ Up there cazaly ♪

♪ Don't let 'em in ♪

♪ Fly like an angel ♪

♪ You're out there to win ♪

(crowd cheering)

♪ Now there's a lot more things to football ♪

♪ That really meets the eye ♪

♪ There are days when you could give it up ♪

♪ There are days when you could fly ♪

♪ You either love or hate it ♪

- [Announcer] And it's Moore against Lee.

This time Moore gets the knock out.

But Ronnie Wearmouth gets a touch of the fumbles,

couldn't pick the ball up.

In chips Wood of Richmond, picks the ball up nicely,

goes for a hand pass again.

Back to Ray.

Here's another hand pass coming over to Barford.

Barford moves across very nicely

towards that forward pocket.

He's on the boundary line, he lets fire.

(mumbling), but not a very good one,

and it goes through for a point.

So we wait now for the fullback Stuart

to kick the ball back into play.

Collingwood's not playing too well at the moment.

- Laurie, the committee is digging its

heels in over this press release.

They feel we've gotta do something

to restore the club's image.

- If I back down now, Gerry, Ted's only going to get worse.

I won't be told how to do my job

by the owner of some meat pie factory

who's never played the game of football in his life!

- Laurie, I know how difficult it must be for you,

but Ted is the president of the club,

elected by the members, and we're stuck with him.

- Watch this.

- [Announcer] Ray Shaw gives a nice handpass

over there towards Hayward.

He's hopeless!

He's even so frustrated he threw

a punch at one of the Richmond players!

And now back it goes to McMiller,

he gets it clear, and drives it--

- I can't have the president of the club

telling me that I've gotta keep a man

who is playing like that in my team.

(door thumping)

- The reason that Ted is so touchy about Geoff is,

and I'd appreciate it if you kept

this absolutely confidential, is that he kicked in

10,000 out of his own pocket to help by buy him.

- He must have money to burn!

- He hasn't now.

His firm's about to go bankrupt.

- Don't expect me to cry.

I thought that stuff I said in the press

might embarrass him into resigning.

- Embarrass?

You can't embarrass Ted Parker.

- The other day I called him a cunning little rodent,

he took it as a compliment.

Look Laurie, I'm gonna tell you something

in the strictest confidence.

You can afford to be generous to Ted,

because he's not gonna be around here much longer.

- What, because of the bankruptcy?

- Financial incompetence is no disqualification

for high office around this place.

No, he's really gone and got himself into hot water.

- What's he done?

- Can't tell you anything, except it's dynamite.

- You're absolutely sure?

- Absolutely sure.

- I won't have you coming and telling me how to run my game!

- I was only saying what everyone else

on the ground was thinking.

- Well I'm the one that on the spot,

and I'm the one who knows exactly

what my men can and can't do,

and I don't appreciate interference from amateurs!

- Alright, alright.

What sort of thing do you wanna say in our press statement?

- Just that we're prepared to keep working with each other.

- Jesus, Laurie, I want a bit more than that!

I wanna slip in fruitful and harmonious in there somewhere.

You called me autocratic in the press last week,

don't you think that calls for some kind of retraction?

- The fact that I will say that we can still

keep working with each other will be virtually a retraction.

- No, it won't.

All that means is that you still think I'm autocratic,

but you're prepared to sit it out.

- Well that wouldn't be too far wide of the mark.

- Laurie, we shouldn't be arguing like this.

I've always been one of your greatest admirers.

Remember the day you played your first game?

- Of course.

- You'd just turned 17 three days before, or was it 18?

- 17.

- It was quite an extraordinary feeling

right round the ground.

We all knew we'd come to see the first game

of a great new champion, by God you didn't disappoint us.

Do you remember your first kick?

- Not all that well.

- Oh, it was magic.

I was standing on almost this, yes, this exact same spot.

I can see it as clearly as if it was a video replay.

You read the play and started sprinting for the goal,

picked up a long low pass from Wally Baker,

did a beautiful flying turn around Stan Jackson,

and slammed it through the centre (laughing).

I'd go out on a limb and say it's the best

first game that's ever been played on this ground.

- Thanks.

- No, I mean it.

And I've seen every game this club's played since I was six.

Up until the time I was 12 or so,

I used to cry every time we lost.

If we won, I went home and booted the football

around the backyard in the dark,

trying to remember every kick of the match

and pretending I was in the side.

By the time I was 16, I could hardly

hold my place in the school thirds.

- We've all got different talents.

- I would like to put fruitful and harmonious

somewhere in our press statement, Laurie.

- (laughing) You're a tryer.

Alright, fruitful and harmonious, but that's it!

- Great.

Great.

- Jock in?

- [Man] He's in there.

- G'day.

- What are you doing here, Laurie?

- Want a bit of information.

- You know, I've been thinking about

that problem you're having with young Geoff.

I wonder, have you ever tried talking to the lad?

- I'll handle him in my own way.

- Well, I used to talk to my blokes.

It always used to pay off.

Remember Lofty Lou?

Jesus, the worst damn bloke I ever saw

when he first come to this club.

He talked back to me, wouldn't do what

he was told on the field or off.

A real bloody nightmare, he was.

So, I sat him down, looked him straight in the eye.

Heh, you had to sit him down to look him in the eye.

Well, I said to him, righto, Lofty,

what is it that's worrying you, ol' son?

He just broke down and cried.

True.

Well you see, no one had ever talked

to him like that way before.

Well it turned out the problem was real simple.

He hadn't had a good night's sleep since he was 16

cause his legs were too long for the bed.

So the club chipped in, bought him a king-sized bed.

The next year he won the club's best and fairest award.

Well, what's your problem, Laurie?

- What's this I hear about Parker being forced to resign?

- First I've heard of it.

- Come on, Jock, I'm not an idiot.

Gerry's told me there's some sort of storm brewing up

and Ted's gonna have to resign.

- Well, I did hear a whisper to

that effect now that you mention it.

- You don't hear whispers, Jock, you start them.

Now what's going on?

- Oh, he's got himself into some sort of trouble.

I don't know all the details,

but thank Christ is all I can say.

I mean, let's face it, Laurie, the man's a buffoon.

- And when he's gone, you'll stand for president.

- If it's the wish of the committee.

Look, with Parker out of the way,

things will start ticking over smoothly once again.

Ah, that Gerry's got some great ideas for next year.

- Has he?

- Very good administrator, that lad.

- You were the one man on the committee

who voted against his appointment!

- Well, a man can be wrong.

- Not many can manage it as often as you.

What are some of these great ideas of Gerry's?

- We're gonna buy up big.

- Players?

- No, sheep.

We're gonna graze 'em on the oval and save

on the lawn mowin' cost, course we're gonna buy players!

We are going on the biggest buying spree

in the history of the game.

And what's more, it's good economics.

- Why?

- Why?

Because if we win a premiership,

it will arrest the membership decline,

and members mean money!

As a businessman myself, I can see the logic of it.

- (laughing) As a businessman yourself?

God help us!

I was one of the mugs that invested

in this little setup of yours.

100 dozen pop up Taiwanese toasters that first burned

the toast and then fired 'em like bloody mortar shells.

What about 40 gross, hey?

40 gross of bloody Russian alarm clocks

that tick so loud you didn't even need the bloody alarm!

- Hey, hey, you're not gonna make fun

of me when you hear some of the names

that we've been negotiating with!

- Negotiating!

You're negotiating for this bloody

team without consulting me!

- Not, not negotiating.

I didn't mean negotiating.

We've just started to think of a few names, that's all.

- Who's we?

- Me and Gerry.

- What names.

- Try these for size.

Cam Donaldson, Micky Dimmish, and Andy Payne.

How'd you like that lot in your goal to goal line, huh?

- I would love that lot on my goal to goal line,

but I would like to be consulted.

- You are being consulted right now!

Cam Donaldson, Micky Dimmish, and Andy Payne!

- The centre bounce again.

Collingwood's playing bully at the moment.

They've lost their first three games

and don't look like a football team at all.

Bennett comes across, but Moore beats him for the knock out,

it's a good one, and down towards

their centre half forward position.

Ball's coming out there towards Collingwood's Wearmouth.

He's looking for Danny Rowe, a handpass.

Danny's getting a bit old,

I wonder if he can get away this time.

He's locked in a scrap.

By golly, I think he's ready for the pension too,

he's slowed really down!

By golly, he's out of form completely.

And there must be a cloud over him.

- How many kicks Danny have?

- [Man] Two.

- [Announcer] Hawthorne well on top at the moment.

Collingwood going to attack again through Banks.

He's grabbed around the neck,

he nearly pulled his neck outta the socket that time.

(crowd jeering)

Brute force and stupidity.

Edwards coming across to have a bit of a go.

They're going at it here today,

and now Collingwood has been stuffed.

It'll be a penalty free kick down the ground,

and to take the free kick will be Young.

Let's see what he can do with this one.

- [Announcer] One in front,

put the family jewels on the line.

- [Announcer] Ah, that's a junky kick

off the side of his boot.

A terrible kick.

- I can't understand you.

You've forgotten all the very basics of football.

(players muttering)

Now if there's a pack forming to take

a mark on the back line, there's gotta be

someone down the front to pick up the crumbs.

Alright, now it's no good trying punching the ball

if going straight to the bloody.

- Not once, not twice, but three bloody times!

Where are your balls, men?

What are you, a bloody poofter?

Now look, you wake up to yourself or you'll play

the rest of the game in a bloody dress!

And as for the rest of you,

start talking to each other, alright?

- And the pack try the ball,

it's knocked to the ground,

a chance for Morris to break clear.

He's showing a lot strength.

He backs up well and shows a lot of confidence

as he comes right through the centre position

of the ground and boots it well down

towards the half forward line for Collingwood.

Look at these!

What a beautiful mark, but he juggles the ball.

He's got it well under control now.

He's straightened himself up ready

to send Hawthorne back into attack.

He gets around his opponent, Anderson.

The ball's booted down there towards Hayward.

But look at Hayward standing there,

he isn't even going for it.

It is unbelievable.

(crowd jeering)

- We paid 150,000 for that bastard?

(crowd jeering)

- [Announcer] Down towards Collingwood's half back line.

(crowd roaring)

And Haywood's still looking up at the sky.

He seems mesmerised to me.

He's in a trance!

(crowd jeering)

- This bastard's as bad as Parker's pies!

- [Announcer] In a hell of a spot.

They can't make the grade at the moment.

The ball's driven down there by Payton.

It's a long kick out there towards Stuart.

Stuart goes for the punch, the ball hits the ground.

Coming across there to pick it up is Scott.

He's moving very well, a nice handpass

coming out there to Gode, and Gode's getting ready

to straighten up to fire at the goal.

He fires and it's six points again for Hawthorne!

(crowd roaring)

♪ Bobbin' up and down like this ♪

♪ But you can't beat the boys of the bulldog breed ♪

♪ Bobbin' up and down like this ♪

♪ Bobbin' up and down like this ♪

♪ Over the ocean ♪

♪ Bobbin' up and down like this ♪

- Sorry Laurie.

I turned in a bad one today.

- 50 times better than the golden boy.

- You shut your face!

- Hey, hey, now break it up!

I'm tellin' ya, break it up!

For Christ sakes!

I wanna talk to you.

Everyone stay back, keep out of it.

♪ We are the fighting, fighting hawks ♪

(players cheering)

- Alright, if you really wanna know what's going on

is I'm sick to death of football and I couldn't

care less if I never play another game in my life.

It's a lot of macho competitive bullshit!

You chase a lump of pigskin around the muddy ground

as if you're life depended on it,

and when you finally get it,

you kick it in the bugger and you go chasin' it again.

Football's shit to me.

- Well I wish to Christ you'd told us that

before we paid out $120,000 for you.

- If you think you can buy me like a lump of meat

then you'd better think again!

- Don't you push me too far, Geoff.

I love this club, and I love football,

and I will not tolerate anyone

who holds them both in contempt.

- Love the club?

Jock, Ted, and Gerry?

- The club's not Jock, Ted, and Gerry.

It's 100 years of history.

- Yeah, well I missed out on the history,

and caught Jock, Ted, and Gerry.

How can an old fool like Jock

ever coach a club to four premierships?

- Got 'em in his first six years,

when every talented kid in this country

was dying to put on one of our guernseys.

He wasn't a coach's bootlace.

- Yeah, well you've been doing

some pretty bad coaching yourself lately.

- Such as?

- Such as not shifting Danny off Wilson,

he was gettin' thrashed.

- [Laurie] I know.

- [Geoff] Why didn't you shift him?

- Because he was desperate to keep trying.

He'd never been beaten so bad.

Danny has been the backbone of our team

for the last eight years.

I thought I owed him something.

Besides, I don't think anyone else

could have done any better.

- I can beat Wilson.

- You?

- Yeah, me!

- Jesus Christ!

Now I've heard every bloody thing.

I'm getting pretty fed up with your arrogance, Geoff.

In the last three weeks you've hardly had a kick.

You spent the whole of this week's match

staring up into the sky!

You just let the ball go straight past!

- I was stoned.

- Drunk?

- Stoned.

- Marijuana?

- No, Laurie, hash.

I wasn't just staring up into the sky,

incidentally, I was watching a seagull.

Not just an ordinary seagull.

This was a prince of seagulls.

Dazzling me with blasts of pure white

every time his wings caught the sun.

- Look, I am sorry Miss, but ladies are just

not allowed in the changing rooms before the games.

It's just a club policy, I'm very sorry.

- Is Gerry in?

- He is Laurie.

But look, you can't go in there right now.

His instructions are no one's allowed in.

- [Laurie] You got a minute?

- Be right with you, Laurie.

(players yelling)

You wanted to see me, Laurie?

- What's the meaning of starting to plan

next year's team without even consulting me?

- I was gonna talk to you about it this week.

- Where are you getting the money for all these new players?

- Leave that to me.

- Be buggered, I'll leave it to you!

I've been around this place 22 years,

and I am the coach of this bloody club, not the office boy!

Now how are you getting the money?

Come on, Danny!

- Alright, if you really wanna--

- [Laurie] Follow it up!

- If you really wanna know I'll tell you.

But for Christ's sake, keep it quiet.

I've been courting a couple of big property developers--

- [Laurie] Go on, Ronnie!

Call out!

- They're all club supporters and they're

looking for a hobby and they've got

a hell of a lot of money to spend.

The only hitch at the moment is

that they're hesitant about getting involved

while we've still got a president like Ted.

- Now go on, Tank!

- He's been fawning on 'em like a drunken toad.

- They haven't said anything directly, of course,

but I'd stake my life we'll get an instant

commitment from them the minute he goes.

- And what kind of role in the club

had you planned for these guys?

Come on, Geoff, brace!

- Well, we'll bring one in as vice president

and make the other one a honorary life member.

- Yeah?

Where's his 25 years active service?

- Laurie, let's not be bush lawyers

with this kind of money involved.

- What kind of money?

- Up to half a million each.

- Plus some cash from our sales.

- What sales?

- Oh, I was gonna discuss with you the possibility

of offloading one or two of our older players.

- Such as?

- Well, you tell me.

- [Laurie] Come on, Ronnie!

- I'm only the administrator, you're the expert.

Who can we do without?

- Tony Harper, I suppose.

- Hardly worth the effort.

- Come on, Geoff!

- Market price would be under 5000.

The only player we've got who's got

big money on his head is Danny.

- And he's not gonna have it for much longer.

- We're not selling Danny.

- With the players we'll be getting

next year do we really need him?

- Of course we need him!

- I was only asking a question.

There's no need to get angry,

I was simply asking a question.

- We need him.

- Fine.

- Come on, Danny!

- Jock's point--

- Pick it up!

- Is worth considering though.

This is possibly the last year

that Danny will command decent money.

- I say sell him while he's still worth something.

I mean, let's face it, Laurie,

when we were winning our medals

it was in a team full of champions.

Danny is little more than a talented hack.

- Come off it, Jock!

He's bloody near as good as either of us were in our day.

I know what's bothering you, mate.

If he stays here another year or two

he'll end up beating your precious 282 games.

- Yeah, well you couldn't beat it.

He's not gonna beat it either.

- Come on, Tank!

- When my record goes, it's gonna be

to someone with a bit of moral fibre.

- Moral fibre?

- Yeah.

- You were never known for your celibacy, mate.

- Laurie, Laurie.

What if I told you I could swap Danny for Tony Marcaso?

Makes you stop and think, doesn't it?

- Well can ya?

- No, but it made you stop and think.

- The only reason I would want Danny

to go is if Danny wants to go.

I don't care if you could swap him for Jesus Christ.

- Yeah, well with the team we'll have next year,

Jesus Christ would be flat out making the reserves!

- And then I told Laurie I was stoned

and you should seen Laurie's eyes.

Marijuana?

- Do you really think you should smoke before a match?

- Hey?

- I'd really like to see you play well.

- I thought you hated football?

- I know.

But that was before I'd seen any.

- Well, I'm not gonna play my heart out

for that mob of crooks and deadbeats.

- How 'bout a lettuce.

- No, I don't like lettuce.

You know how they've treated me!

- Yes, but I'm just getting sick of watching you lose.

Hey, let's go our for dinner tonight.

- What, why?

Why are we buying all this stuff

if we're gonna go out to dinner.

- I'm sick of cooking.

I know this great new Indian place.

- Oh hello, here comes the club's answer to Cary Grant.

- What does he want?

- God knows.

- Hey, GeofF!

- G'day, Jock.

- (laughing) Good on ya, mate.

I'm glad I caught you at home.

- Uh, Jock, this my friend, Susie.

- Ah, hello Susie, and what do you do?

- I study history.

- Oh well, some of us study it, and some of us make it.

Look, Geoff, sorry to barge in on you like this,

but we got a couple of problems down at the club.

- I'll go upstairs.

- Gorgeous looking sheila you got there, Geoff.

- Yeah.

What's the problem, Jock?

- Well, uh, I've been a bit worried about your form,

to tell you the truth, lately, Geoff,

and well seeing as how I was the one who insisted

on getting you, I thought we might have a little chat.

- [Geoff] You've been talking to Laurie?

- Uh, no, no.

He chooses not to consult me on such matters.

But it's my opinion that the reason that you haven't been

playing as well as you're capable is because

he hasn't been giving you a fair go.

I hear that you two had a bit of an altercation.

- [Geoff] Yeah, we did.

- Well any coach that has to resort

to them sort of methods is no coach in my book.

Oh, a marvellous high mark you took last Saturday.

Jesus, you just seemed to go up and up!

(crowd roaring)

- Yeah, I felt like Achilles.

- Yes, yes. (laughing)

Who's he?

- A Greek guy who could really jump.

- Oh, yeah yeah.

Well, some of these new Australians,

you know they could be real champions

if they forget about soccer and just learn to assimilate.

Why did Butcher Malone take a swing at you last Saturday?

Did you give him the ol' elbow in the gut, eh?

- No, I blew him a kiss.

- Oh, very good.

Very subtle.

Well, of course I was a bit more direct in my day.

You know them times when you're half

a yard behind your man?

He's going for the ball.

Now there's no way in the world

you're gonna stop him, right?

Right.

Just as he leaves the ground, get your thumb,

ram it up his bum!

(laughing) It works every time!

- Sounds effective.

- Oh, it's a beauty.

Oh, you roll your own, do you?

I used to roll me own.

- Would you like me to roll you one?

- Yeah, why not.

We'll have a nice little chat and a quiet smoke.

- I got a couple here already rolled.

- Oh, beauty, beauty.

Good on ya, son.

Hey, you don't smoke too many of these, I hope?

- Hmm?

- It makes you short of breath.

- Oh.

- How many of 'em do you smoke a day?

- Three or four.

- Oh, it's no problem.

(coughing)

It's a bit strong.

(coughing)

You get a bit used to having 'em filtered.

Now Geoff, this trouble that you're having with Laurie,

do you think that's the main problem?

- Not entirely.

- Is something else worrying you, son?

You know, something personal?

- There is, Jock.

How'd you guess?

- I have an instinct for problems.

You wanna talk about it?

- I don't know if I can.

- It won't go any further than this room if you do, son.

You know that.

Have you been able to talk to Laurie about it?

- No.

- Bit hard to have a heart to heart talk with Laurie.

I mean, he lacks that little human touch.

When I was coach, me and the boys were like that.

They told me everything.

Except Laurie, of course.

We'd be hanging around having a few beers and a chat,

he'd be out in that bloody ground

practising his kicking or something.

Bloody fanatic even in those days.

Do the players really like him?

- They seem to.

- I can't understand that.

I mean, he seems too stand offish.

You probably gathered that me and Laurie

don't exactly see eye to eye.

- Yeah, I have sensed a bit of friction.

- In fact, we hate each other's guts.

From the very minute he joined this club,

he's made it his business to rewrite the club's history

with himself as it's biggest shining star!

He was obsessed with beating my record of 282 games.

Absolutely obsessed!

He had a bad groyne injury and a dicey hamstring.

He was in agony every time he took that ground,

but there was no stoppin' him.

- [Geoff] But he didn't beat it?

- No, no.

No, he took like a rabbit right up coming out

of the pack and did his cartilage with only

three games to go and I can't say I was sorry.

In fact, I laughed me bloody head off.

(laughing)

You know how he took over for me as coach?

He went around to the members of the committee

behind my back and told 'em I was drunk

during the '69 Grand Final.

I had a cold in the head!

I'd had a few sips of whiskey, but I was not drunk!

He'll keep.

He's gonna get his.

He promised that committee the world.

He hasn't even won them one premiership and I've won four!

Anyway, the important thing at the moment is to find out

what it is that's worrying you, son.

- I don't know where to begin.

It would absolutely destroy me if it ever came out.

- Yeah?

- It's not that I'm not attracted to women, Jock, I am!

Desperately attracted.

But when it comes to the vital...

- Can't you, um, get your act together?

- For Christ sake, keep it to yourself, Jock.

- But what about Susie?

- Unfortunately, she's just a friend.

- Yeah?

Tell you what, I wouldn't mind

having a few friends like her.

Hey, maybe you're training too hard.

- No, it's not that.

- No, no, no, I used to have trouble

gettin' it up sometimes after a big match.

- It's not that, Jock.

- Have you seen a doctor?

- Yeah.

Apparently, there's nothing wrong with me physically.

It's up here.

Have I ever talked to you about my sister?

- No.

Well, didn't know you had one.

- I don't talk about her often.

She was in a serious car accident the night

before her 18th birthday when I was only 14.

- Uh-huh.

Badly hurt?

- Both legs amputated above the knee.

- Oh hell.

- It would have been tragic for anyone,

but for someone as young and beautiful

as Gabrielle, it was devastating.

- Yeah.

- She had everything going for her, Jock.

She was beautiful, warm, intelligent, popular, you name it.

- Yeah.

- And Jock, when it happened, the courage

in that girl you just would not believe.

Don't be sad, she'd say.

I'm still me.

What's a few legs between friends.

I mean, joking, Jock, joking in a situation like that.

I mean, Jesus.

Is that courage, Jock?

Tell me, is it?

- Oh, that's courage, yes, it's courage.

It's courage.

- One night I heard her crying in the dark in the next room.

It became too much for me to bear.

So I went and lay beside her and held her in my arms.

Every night after that I'd comfort her in the same way

and we'd lie together, crying in the dark.

Then one night, is this too much for you, Jock?

- Oh, no, no, no, no, go on.

- You're looking as white as a sheet.

- Yeah, it must be this bloody tobacco.

No, go on.

- Well, without either of us knowing

quite how or why, we became lovers.

- Jesus!

- We knew what we were doing was wrong,

but the surprising thing was, we just didn't care.

It was wrong, but it was right.

Can you understand that, Jock?

- No legs?

- It sounds sordid, but it wasn't.

I loved her, Jock.

- Well, how long did this go on for?

- Oh, not long.

One night when dad was away on one of his conferences,

the light was suddenly switched on and there was my mother.

(soft music)

- Oh hell.

- Still young, still beautiful, in a flowing silk negligee.

The look of utter shock on her face.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- There was nothing she could say to us.

There was nothing we could say to her.

She just turned off the light and went back to her bed,

and we lay there, listening to her sobbing in the dark.

- Yeah.

- Finally I couldn't stand it any longer.

I picked up my sister and carried her into my mother's room,

and we all clung together, sobbing in the dark.

Eventually, as the night wore on,

again I have no idea quite how or why,

mom and I became lovers too.

- [Jock] Holy God.

- [Geoff] Three days later my father came

home early from a conference.

- [Jock] Holy God.

- He shot himself.

(dramatic music)

(pistol booming)

I've been impotent ever since.

- No bloody wonder!

Quite frankly, Geoffrey, I am disgusted!

And it's no good pretending otherwise.

- Every time I go out onto the ground,

I feel as though everyone's whispering about me.

I just can't concentrate on the game.

- Personally, I had me doubts about

paying $100,000 for a bloody Protestant.

I mean, if a good Catholic lad so much

as even thought of giving his handicapped

sister a Wellington boot, he'd still be

down on his hands and knees yelling Hail Marys!

But the damage is done.

I'm the one who held out for you.

I'm the one who's gonna get crucified

if any of this ever gets out.

I'm gonna have to lay it right

on the line for you, young fella.

Stay right away from your family

and concentrate on the club.

Otherwise we'll cut our losses and sell

ya to some deadbeat team out in the bush.

On the other hand, if you knuckle down

and start pulling your socks up doin' things proper,

you could find yourself part of some

really excitin' things that are gonna

be happenin' around here next year.

- What things?

- We are getting some great new players

and a fantastic coach.

Oh shit!

I shouldn't have said that.

- What new coach?

- Huh?

- What new coach?

- The best.

We are gettin' the best.

Laurie's had his chance and he is finished.

But you keep that quiet,

and you just remember what I said, mate.

Just pull up your socks and get a grip on yourself,

or else you are bloody history!

- No one's asking you to resign, Ted.

I just thought you might have considered it.

- No, I'm not going to resign.

There's no way in the world I'm going to resign.

- Well, that's up to you, Ted.

I'm sure the committee will back you

if you decide to battle the whole thing through.

- Oh, I'll battle the whole thing through,

and I'll expect 100% loyalty from the committee.

- You won't get it from me.

- I wouldn't expect it from you.

They're trying to force me to resign.

- Ted's in a spot of trouble.

A stripper's suing him for assault

and the whole thing's being plastered across the papers.

- What, the stripper from the club ball?

- Yes, it's a whole lot of trumped up garbage.

- Well what happened?

- Oh, Ted went 'round to see her backstage

after the act, and there was an unfortunate--

- The whole thing's been inflated out of all proportion.

I slapped her, that's all.

I slapped her.

- How come the medical report said she had bruises all over?

- She must have got one of her friends to slap her

around some more to get more money out of me.

It happens all the time.

- I wouldn't be surprised if you're right,

but the public are probably gonna believe her story.

- Oh, who gives a stuff what the public believes?

The facts are she a trumped up little nobody

and I slapped her.

She egged me on all the way through her act.

Laurie, you say her.

Practically rubbed her tits on my nose.

When I went 'round back stage

she switched it all off and treated me

like I was dirt under her feet.

Well, nobody treats me like that, Laurie.

Least all a little trollop like her.

I'm the president of the greatest football club

in the history of the game and I'm

not gonna have some little slut laugh in my face.

- Exactly how badly was she hurt?

- Oh, I hardly touched her.

By the time the press have got through with it

it'll sound like we went 15 rounds.

- Well who told the press?

- God knows.

We did everything possible to keep it quiet at this end.

- You need me around here, Gerry.

I fought a pitched battle against the entrenched forces

of conservatives and then won!

In fact, I've been so bloody successful

those very same forces have turned around

and adopted my ideas as if they were their own.

- Are you referring to me?

- Yes, I am referring to you!

Because of what I've done, we're gonna have

the greatest years we've ever had.

We're gonna have a triumph that'll make

the famous years of the '20s look pale by comparison,

and I'm gonna be here while it's happening.

No little trollop's gonna deprive me of that.

The committee will stick by me to a man.

- Wanna bet?

- Stake my life on it.

- Then you're a dead man.

I'm gonna move that you stand down.

- You won't get a second.

- Wanna bet?

- You'll never get the numbers.

Ian, and Kevin, and Jeff are my personal friends.

- If the feeling around the committee is

that you should resign, Ted, it's not necessarily

that we don't believe you're innocent

or we're not your friends.

It's just that the committee, unfortunately,

has to face realities.

The reality is that we can't afford

to jeopardise the credibility of the club

by retaining a president who's erred in the way

the public is going to (coughing) think you've erred.

- What kinda logic is that?

- Business logic, Ted.

You brought it to this club, and you were right.

Loyalty to any one individual is a luxury we can't afford

in a business with a multi-million dollar turnover.

You'll get my vote to retain you, of course.

But if the consensus goes the other way,

I hope you'll understand their viewpoint.

- They're gonna get you, Ted.

Give up gracefully.

- I've had my differences with you, Laurie.

But I've been a good president,

not a great one, but a good one.

They won't throw me out if I lay my record on the line.

- You served your purpose, Ted.

They don't need you anymore.

If they didn't need me, they'd sack me too.

- Well, no one's gonna sack me.

I've just resigned.

- Oh, I'm sorry this has happened, Ted.

You have been a good president.

You certainly won't be forgotten.

You fought to get me my job here,

and I won't forget that either.

I just hope that I can go on and do justice

to the faith that you've shown in me.

- I'm sure you will.

Well, I, I hope that you and young Geoff

sort out your differences, Laurie.

I'll doubt if I'll ever be dashing off $10,000 checks again.

I'd like to think that my money was well spent.

- Yeah, so would I.

- Do you know what I thought was the

best game of football you ever played?

The day you took on Dick Turner in '62.

Mind you, I think he just shaded you by a whisker.

- There's a lot of people who don't.

- It was like two magicians trying to outdo one another.

- Well, I think everyone got their two bobs out of it.

- Geoff, it's about time I had it out with you.

It'll be one of histories great understatements to say

I'm not very impressed with your attitude or your habits.

Look me in the eye!

Listen to what I'm saying!

Now you may think it's a big joke to smoke,

screw, and take Ted Parker's money,

but I don't think that's funny.

- He can afford it.

- No, he can't!

He's about to go bankrupt.

Now he may be a pompous little turd, but he's seen

every game this club's played since he was six.

Well that may not impress you,

but by Christ, it impresses me.

- Laurie, you're giving me the shits.

- You're giving me the shits, Geoff.

If you're on about this peace and love

and non-competitiveness, then just pay

back your money and get out.

But I'll you one thing, you'll wish you hadn't.

That first night at training, you beat Tank.

You were so bloody pleased with yourself

you had tears in your eyes.

- Bullshit.

- It's not bullshit.

I know the feeling.

I ought to, I've been missing it for 15 years.

- Laurie, can't you understand, football bores me!

When I was 12, I was living in a little

country town and my ultimate dream

was to get a game with the local first.

Six years later I was playing centre for the state side,

I was an acknowledged champion.

- No where weren't!

You were just a kid with potential.

And that's what you still are!

Anybody who wasn't cross-eyed or bandy-legged

could get a game with a Tasmanian state side.

You're in the big league now, Geoff, and you're scared.

Scared you're not half as good a footballer

as you bloody thought you were.

No good telling me that you can beat Wilson.

You gotta do it!

And until you've got the guts to get out there and try,

you can sit and rot in the reserves

for the arrogant young turd you are!

- I'm more than a kid with potential, Laurie!

They don't pay 120,000 bucks for a kid with potential!

- Normal people wouldn't, but as you pointed out,

this is club is run by morons.

Now I meant what I said.

I don't wanna see your face down

at the club again until you mean business.

(engine revving)

(tyres squealing)

(Susie applauding)

- Did you hear that?

- I think the whole street did.

- A kid with potential.

Did you hear what he said?

A kid with potential.

- Who are you to sit in judgement on me, McFee?

You only played 151 games and not one of 'em

was worth a pinch of poop (burping).

Hacks, deadbeats, the lot of yas!

Only picture that should be up there is mine.

292 games as a player, four premierships as a coach.

(horn honking)

(horn honking)

(faint speaking) (typewriter keys clicking)

- Who is that girl you and Jock

were talking to the other day?

- Which girl?

- Before you came over to talk to me at training.

- Oh, that girl, she's just applying for a typist job.

- Come on, Gerry.

That was no typist.

Was that the stripper?

- No, of course it wasn't.

- Well who was she?

Come on, I wanna know!

- Okay, Laurie, it was the stripper.

- And what was she doing here?

- She was angry.

- She just came here to tell you she was angry?

- No, she came here to tell us she was gonna sue.

- Unless we paid her money.

- So why didn't you.

- Nothing to do with us.

We told her if she wanted money

she better go and see Ted.

- Ted's just gone bankrupt!

- Well that's not our bloody fault!

- How much did she want?

- A lot, and--

- A thousand dollars.

- A thousand dollars?

You just paid $120,000 for one useless player,

and you won't spend 1,000 to keep the club president

off the cover of some scandal sheet?

- Laurie, it's not as simple as that.

- You had this set up with the press, didn't you,

right from the start?

Jesus.

- I don't know why you're getting

so bloody moral about this Laurie.

You rubbished him in the press yourself pretty recently.

(door slamming)

I mean, let's face it, Laurie,

Parker's a disgrace to this club.

Hittin' a woman, what a bloody disgrace.

- I wouldn't have thought that anyone

who'd given his wife as many black eyes as you have

would be quite so self-righteous.

- Sometimes you're too smart for your own good, Laurie.

- Beneath that rough charm of yours

that has served you so well for all these years,

Jock, ol' mate, there's a cunning and ruthless old turd.

- You've had it in for me ever since

I laid you out behind the lockers.

- Well, that certainly didn't help,

a tap on the shoulder and then a king hit

before I could raise a finger in my own defence.

So I shouldn't have been surprised.

I knew what you were about long before that.

I saw the last game of football you ever played.

- Ah, bullshit.

You wouldn't have been out of your cradle.

- I was eight.

I used to worm away down to the fence

so I could get a better look at the game.

What was the name of that bloke you flattened?

- Ah, you weren't there.

- Yes, I was.

The whole thing happened about 20 yards

from where I was standing.

You waited until he started to pick himself up off

the ground, then you went straight in with your knee.

(whistle shrieking)

- [Crowd] Ooh!

- He'd a been about 5'7", and he weighed about 10 stone.

What'd ya say his name was again, Jock?

- That's enough, Laurie.

- Ah, he wasn't as badly hurt as the papers made out.

- Some people think you retired after

that game out of remorse, Jock.

But I know you better.

This club was told by every other club in the league

that if you took the football field again

you'd be lucky to get off it alive.

- They didn't scare me.

- Not much they didn't.

- Nobody's ever called me a coward.

- Well, I'm calling ya one now!

And if you're gonna be our new president,

then this is definitely my last year as coach.

- It's gonna be your last year, anyway, smart ass!

We're getting ourselves a real coach

around here next year, thank Christ.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

- Am I being sacked?

- There's some talk they might not renew your contract.

- But there's no one around here

who can do the job as well as I can.

- There's also some talk of dispensing with the tradition

that the coach must have played for the club.

- I see.

Just like that.

Who are you getting?

- Rustov's name is being mentioned.

- Rustov!

Treats his men like animals.

- You've had eight years, Laurie.

You haven't come up with the goods.

- I haven't had the players to come up

with the goods, for Christ sake.

Gerry, you can't do this to me.

I've laid my guts out for eight years,

dragging rat shit teams up from the bottom of the ladder.

You buy me the players I want

and I'll win a premiership for you.

- I don't doubt it.

I know this isn't going to make you feel any better,

but the consensus of opinion around the traps

is that after Rostov,

you're the next best coach in the business.

Chances are, you could win us the flag.

But the club's been waiting for 19 years, Laurie.

The committee wants to be absolutely sure,

and I can see their point of view.

- So can I, quite clearly.

- I mean, you'll have no trouble

getting another team to coach, Laurie.

- I don't want another team to coach.

(faint chattering and laughing)

- I've been called all sorts of things

in my time, Laurie, but never a coward.

And what about you?

Sneaking around to the committee behind my back

and telling that I was drunk

just so you could get my job.

You call that courage?

- You had just lost us a premiership.

- Ah, I notice you didn't win too many when you took over.

- And do you know why?

- Oh, I'm to blame for that too, am I?

- You and your cronies wouldn't let me buy players.

- We were upholding an old tradition!

We were wrong, but we believed in it.

- They might have.

You did it to stop me getting a flag.

- That's crazy talk, Laurie.

You really think I'd sabotage this club

for eight years just to get back at you?

- Yes, I do.

- Then you're crazy!

It's just as well we're gettin' rid of ya.

- You were a thug as a football player,

you were a lousy coach, and you're the last

person in the world who should be president!

- You can call me what you like, mate.

The record books are gonna show

that I played three more games than you did.

And I won four more premierships.

And they're still gonna saying that in 100 years.

(players yelling and chattering)

- I'm gonna fight this.

I'm buggered if I'm gonna let an oily weasel

like you get the better of me.

I love this club, and I love the game,

and this photo of me is not going

back up there until you and Jock are gone.

- I don't love this club,

and I don't particularly like the game,

and that might make me an oily weasel in your eyes.

But I happen to be the best football administrator

in the country, and you're only the second best coach,

so don't count on being able to return

that photo for quite a long while.

- Hey, I told you not to turn up

unless you really meant business.

- Yeah, you did.

Have they told you're getting the sack?

- [Laurie] Who told you?

- Jock.

- Right.

Seems like everybody's heard about it except me.

- Hmm.

- Geoff, I'm going to ask you

for the first and last time for your help.

You're not just a kid with potential,

you are an amazingly talented footballer,

and I made a mistake taking you off so soon that first game.

- Didn't exactly burst my confidence.

- If you wanna start hitting your form,

I think I can help.

- Why bother if they're gonna sack you?

- Because I wanna start winning matches

and embarrass the bastards!

Think you can handle playing centre?

- Danny's not gonna like that.

- Let me handle Danny.

If I can get Alan to knock the ball down to you,

you get the first kick.

If you can really do something with it,

you'll be right for the rest of the game.

And if we win 12 out of the next 15,

we can still make it to the finals.

- The finals?

You're joking.

- We can!

Especially if you start hitting your straps.

- You're the coach.

(players chattering)

- Hey!

Hey!

They're getting Rostov.

Like hell they're getting Rostov.

Come on, I want everyone.

(players chattering)

- Danny, Danny!

No more strikes.

I just want you to help me get you into the finals.

- The finals? - What?

- Yeah, well they'll look pretty

stupid if they sack you then.

It would help if moneybags here got off

his bum and start doing something useful.

Stick him in the centre tomorrow

and make him earn his money.

- Well it might help him to get his confidence back.

- Put me down the back pocket.

I've been dying for a rest for years.

- I'll think about it.

- You've taken your photo down?

- Good thinkin'.

Who'd want to be up on the wall

lookin' down on that bunch of crooks, eh?

Men, come on!

- [Player] Come on, let's go.

- [Player] Let's all bloody go!

- Hey, hey!

("Up There, Cazaly" by Mike Brady)

- Well come on fellas, what are we waitin' for?

(players cheering)

I'd be very careful of that one, Geoff.

- [Players] Aw!

- Well don't just let it lie there, jump on it!

(players cheering and clapping)

- Excuse me, Jock.

- This some kind of juvenile protest?

- Yeah.

If the committee happen to notice they've gone,

they might ask themselves why

before they go appointing Rostov.

- What are you doing appointing this lot, Geoff?

- I don't want Rostov either.

Excuse me.

- I hope this gives you some small satisfaction, Laurie.

(laughing)

- [Tank] Excuse me, Jock.

- Yeah, it does.

- I see you've got young Geoff back on side.

- Yeah.

I've got a feeling he's gonna play very well

for the rest of the season.

- Yeah, well don't count on it.

I know something about him that you don't.

- Good for you.

I'll see you at the game.

Excuse me, Jock.

- You've been a great help.

You've let 'em know about Rostov.

Now they're all up in arms and ready to fight.

What if they start winning for the rest of the year?

- It won't matter, the committee wants Rostov.

- The committee?

I wouldn't trust the committee as far as I could kick them.

What's this stuff you know about Geoff?

- He's totally bloody unstable.

The first thing we do next year is sell him.

- Sell him?

- Yeah.

He's been up his mom and his legless sister,

and he thinks he killed his old man.

- What?

- He confided in me.

So you know, don't go saying anything, but (laughing).

Hey, if he starts playing too good,

we can always leak a rumour or two.

- Jock, Geoff has two brothers, no sisters,

and his father had his 54th birthday last week.

(lively band music) (crowd cheering)

- [Announcer] Well there's no doubt about it, Scotty.

This is the most phenomenal comeback

in the history of football.

Who would have ever dreamt that

they would have come back and make the Grand Final

after losing five games in a row.

- I'll admit it, Lou.

I predicted that there would be a comeback

and I also said that that young kid

from Tasmania, Geoff Hayward, would come good.

- You're a genius.

- You turncoat!

You said the best thing ever to come

out of Tasmania was Errol Flynn.

You said they're so inbred that their

aeroplanes have got square wheels

and they got hair under their wings!

- What a lot of rubbish.

Look, all people wanna talk about

and wanna hear about from us

is who's gonna win the game tomorrow.

- I'm freaked if I know.

(crowd roaring)

- Now this is the ultimate in football!

(players cheering)

Hey, you can achieve miracles in this world

if you bloody want to.

If you want to enough.

Now this has gone beyond the stage of wanting,

this is something that we have to do!

Because if we don't, we won't

be able to live with ourselves.

We have to win!

Alright?

There are no prizes for second place.

All I want from you is everything you've got and more!

Are you ready to give it?

(players cheering and chattering)

(crowd roaring)

- [Announcer] Fitzroy playing great football

as the ball is sent back towards

their centre halfback, Bellinger.

There's Haywood coming across. - Good mark, good mark.

- [Announcer] A magnificent mark.

He's starting to fire now,

and he's making those Collingwood

fans really jump out of those seats.

A handpass.

- [Announcer] To number one, that's Rowe, Lou.

- [Announcer] Down towards the wing position now.

A bit of a struggle going on out there,

but Collingwood coming out with the ball.

That's Danny Rowe having a long shot for goal.

And we have a goal, and so he should be elated.

(crowd cheering)

It's down towards the centre half forward position

for Collingwood, and big Peter Moore takes the mark,

and ready to send Collingwood back into attack again.

A hefty kick by Moore down there toward

the half forward position.

That's Tank O'Donohue giving a handpass

over there to Ronnie Wearmouth.

A long shot for goal,

and it's another six points for the Magpies.

Still Collingwood's struggled to get on top of Fitzroy,

because this is a tremendous game today.

- [Announcer] Yes, well they're within four points now, Lou.

They've come right up again.

- [Announcer] Well it goes down.

We see Wilson spinning away from the pack.

It's a delightful handpass

down there to his teammate, Brown.

And Brown gets the ball as he makes a long run

around that wing position,

and finally coming across there is Ponder

with a left foot kick down to the (mumbling).

He flies over the top of the pack

but he can't hold the mark!

It hits the deck and everybody's on their tail

because neither side will give an inch.

It's a real ding dong struggle as we see

Ronnie Wearmouth break out of the pack

and look at this fellow go

as he gives a handpass over there to Hayward.

He turns, comes back on his left boot.

And look at this shot,

I think he may have put this through

it to win a goal by Hayward!

- You beauty!

- [Announcer] (mumbling) took the goal!

And by golly, what a game this is.

- [Announcer] That puts the Magpies into the lead now.

They're two points in front,

and it's a good capacity crowd here today.

130,000, we've just heard.

And look at 'em go.

- [Announcer] Fitzroy now with the ball back into attack.

Down toward their centre half forward position,

but once again, there we see Collingwood skipper,

Danny Rowe, booting it well up

towards his teammate, Tank O'Donohue.

But it's Smith taking the ball away again.

In front, there was Hayward.

Another mark for Hayward.

A handpass coming over quickly to Rowe,

and Rowe speeding away from his opponents,

and that's a beautiful placed handpass

coming over to Moore.

And look at Moore break away from the pack

as he shoots it down there to Carson.

A left foot snap for goal.

Up they fly, the ball hits the ground.

Tank O'Donohue again!

And he put it through for another

six points for the Magpies.

The centre bounce.

Up it goes now.

Alexander and Moore, they're both bustling for position.

- [Announcer] This pair are well matched.

They're just about even on the knock outs.

- [Announcer] The front (mumbling) knocks the ball down.

A chance now, Coleman will take it away from Wearmouth.

Strong play by Coleman.

A hefty kick down middle towards

centre half forward position,

but Shaw takes the mark.

Once again it's Ronnie Wearmouth,

and can this fella play football,

he's a great little player.

(crowd roaring)

- Oh!

(laughing)

(crowd chanting)

- Wilson trying to break clear,

but he decides to go.

No, that's Hanson, I should say.

Hanson takes the mark, gets it out wide.

Coming across to take the mark at half back is Brown.

A long handpass up there to the wing player, Jones,

and Jones shoots it down towards Moore in the,

but there we see Hayward going way over

the top of their backs, what a magnificent mark!

This fella's a real champion!

- Look at that!

- Worth every penny they paid for this guy.

- [Announcer] He's a long way out, Lou.

- [Announcer] He's got a kick now from

about 65 to 70 metres out from goal.

Can he make the distance?

I think he can because he's a true champion.

He fires and look at that ball go!

(speaking drowned out by crowd cheering)

It's a goal (speaking drowned out by crowd).

What a champion!

Has he fixed up the knockers.

Thank God I wasn't one.

- [Announcer] Well he's earned his money today.

- [Announcer] I'll say he's earned his money.

(announcers speaking over each other)

- [Announcer] Yeah, he's done a great job

bringing this team up from the bottom of the ladder.

- Laurie's a great coach.

God knows why some members of the committee

wanted to get rid of him.

(crowd chanting)

♪ Up there cazaly, in there and fight ♪

♪ Out there and at 'em, show 'em your might ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, don't let 'em in ♪

♪ Fly like an angel, you're out there to win ♪

♪ Now there's a lot more things to football ♪

♪ That really meets the eye ♪

♪ There are days when you could give it up ♪

♪ There are days when you could fly ♪

♪ You either love or hate it ♪

♪ Depending on the score ♪

♪ But when your team run out or they kick a goal ♪

♪ How's the mighty roar ♪

(crowd roaring)

♪ Up there cazaly, in there and fight ♪

♪ Out there and at 'em, show 'em your might ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, don't let 'em in ♪

♪ Fly like an angel, you're out there to win ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, you're out there to win ♪

♪ In there and at 'em, don't let 'em in ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, show 'em you're high ♪

♪ Fight like the devil, the crowd's on your side ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, in there and fight ♪

♪ Out there and at 'em, show 'em your might ♪

♪ Up there cazaly, show 'em you're high ♪

♪ Fight like the devil, the crowd's on your side ♪

♪ The crowd's on your side ♪