Original subtitles

Where is Riam?

-Ram! -I'm talking to you. Where is Riam?

Ram.

Spit it out!

Where is Riam?

All right, I'll tell you where she is.

ONE MONTH EARLIER

Toh, the Flying Shield.

Sorn, the Homicidal Hammer.

Mor, the Herb Doctor.

Riam, it's just training. Why so serious?

My eyes are bad, and you're going to kill me!

You told me not to hold back.

But you don't have to squash us like we're tadpoles.

-Hurry up. They'll be here soon. -Yes, ma'am.

-Waew, are you done? -I am.

Give it to me.

Your mung bean sweets look delicious.

They could look even better.

Don't be so modest.

Your sweets are well-known from Bang Namkroi to Bang Kapi.

Thanks, Mom.

Well, where's my youngest daughter?

I bet she's at the temple with Sorn and the gang.

Pumpkin!

Yes, Mom.

Go get Riam.

Why me?

Because you're my boy. Go.

That was quick.

She's already on her way.

Oops.

Stop right here.

I told you not to hang out with Sorn and his gang.

Why can't you be a lady like your sister?

Martial arts are not for girls.

No guy will want to look at you!

Go clean up and put on your best clothes.

The chief and his son are coming.

Ram, Jam, let's check on the desserts.

-Yes, Mom. -Go.

Quick.

-Come on, Auntie. -Okay.

What are you standing there for?

Why should I put on my best clothes?

The chief's son won't even look at me.

He'll only have eyes for her.

So why don't you make him look at you, huh?

Well…

your sweets are second to none.

Everything we serve you

was made by my daughter Ram.

Wow, she would make the finest housewife.

Listen,

my son, Kem, has just finished school in the capital.

It would be nice if he could get to know your daughters.

So that one day we may become one big, happy family.

I heard you have two daughters, right?

Then my son will have to choose one of them.

But where's your other girl?

Riam!

What the hell are you doing?

You told me to clean myself up.

Out here?

Do it in the back!

But I like it here.

No! Get out of here!

No need to yell at me, Mom.

I told you to get ready to welcome Chief Aum.

Don't worry.

I have prepared a show for him.

Go.

We're ready.

Great. It's a circus.

Want a spittoon?

Just swallowed it.

Whoa.

-Let's pay our respects first. -Just a minute.

Who are these people?

The mustachioed one is Sorn, an ex-soldier.

That guy is Toh, an ex-bandit.

The one with glasses is Mor. He sells wild herbs.

What a motley crew.

An odd and crazy crew. They live in a temple, or so I heard.

Good afternoon, lovely ladies and dishonorable men.

Ladies and gentlemen!

We are proud to present a modern Thai ensemble,

the likes of which you've never experienced before.

Other bands offer only music,

but ours offers comedy as a bonus.

Overture, please.

Hold on.

Why don't you play the instruments?

This is fusion music.

What is that?

A combination of opera, a cappella and spirulina.

Isn't that seaweed?

Seaweed that evolves into a xylophone.

One more time.

Our ensemble has a long and reputable history.

In the old days, we were called the Kickapoo.

We traveled across the sea to perform for Qin Shi.

Emperor Qin?

Only for his Terracotta Army.

But they couldn't hear you!

Our next song is "Horse Dance."

The Kickapoo sailed across the Mediterranean

and performed before Queen Elizabeth.

Her Majesty was very pleased and gave us lots of pounds.

-Pounds sterling? -Pound cakes.

There's still some left. Wanna try?

Must be stale by now.

Next is "Hopping Hare."

The Kickapoo took a train to Japan.

The Shogun loved us so much, he gave us a gesture.

-A thumbs-up? -The middle finger.

-Damn! -That means you sucked.

The first song sucked, but later he gave us lots of fish.

-Sashimi? -Fish bones, because we sucked.

They're still stuck in my teeth.

I get the picture.

Next is "The Burmese Axe Dance."

After Japan, we went to Bago in Burma

where we played before King Peter…

-It's King Prae. -King Peter was one of his five siblings.

A big family, I guess.

Then we crossed the ocean again to Scandinavia.

Enough with the history. I want to see you perform now.

You just saw it. We've already done five songs.

You're done?

Already? I must have gotten carried away with your jokes.

You enjoyed it, right?

Well, your youngest girl seems a bit silly.

I think you just blew your chance.

Ram, can you play any instruments?

If you don't get him, your sister shouldn't either.

My dear sister, please come here.

Go ahead.

Come here, please.

What do you want, Riam?

Ram will perform with us.

What are you doing?

You're a girl of many talents. You can do this.

We'll perform this song with no instruments.

It's called "Lao Duang Duen."

Ram will give us some music.

Ready?

Oh, my beautiful moon…

Ram, what are you waiting for?

Beatboxing. You know what it is, right? Let's try again.

Oh, my beautiful moon

I am serenading you, my love, my moon

It's late, I have to say good night

My heart aches for your moonlight

Oh, my beautiful moon

I am serenading you, my love, my moon

It's late, I have to say good night

My heart aches for your moonlight

Wow! Amazing!

Wow! Amazing!

What incredible skill!

So have you and your son decided?

My son prefers a soft and sweet girl.

Ram was supposed to be the one,

but we were taken aback by her fierce beatboxing.

Oh, that was a prank Riam was pulling to discredit her.

Really? Her dubstep was pretty intense.

Okay, then I'll go for…

Riam.

I mean Riam should stay away from my son.

And Ram will be my daughter-in-law.

What about your cousin here?

You're a bright young man. Don't you fancy my Riam?

I have an urgent meeting. I'll see you another time.

EVERLASTING HARD-ON - MOANING LADIES THE GREAT BENGAL TIGER

Candy.

Yo!

-Do you like to suck? -What?

-Wanna suck? -Huh?

Lollipops?

No.

This song is fun. Can you dance?

I'm the best dancer in the mountains.

Why so sad? Let's dance.

Come on.

Dance, dance.

Let's dance together. Come on, dance.

Show me what you've got.

You won't dance or you can't dance?

Hey, that's an insult!

Challenge accepted.

Come on.

Hey, keep dancing.

Keep it coming. Keep dancing.

What moves! Marry me!

What was that?

You had a bizarre dream.

Who is he anyway?

I don't know. I'm still upset about the chief.

Why does everyone like Ram?

Why is everyone obsessed with her?

Was that…

Sure is!

Well, Ram is the good girl.

And you're the bad girl.

Help!

So I'm a total loser.

Listen, I have plenty of nice and handsome friends.

I've invited one here. He might like you.

Forget it.

I give up.

-Ram's being chased by a buffalo. -What?

Help!

Help!

Stop!

Stop!

My legs hurt!

Help me!

Help!

Stop right there, you damn buffalo.

I said stop!

This isn't a buffalo race!

Stop!

Stop!

Help me, Riam!

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

It's going even faster now!

Stop.

-Ram! -What?

-Jump, quickly! -Really?

Jump!

Sis, are you all right?

Oops.

I'm okay.

Thank you. I'd be dead if it wasn't for you.

How about you? Are you hurt?

Let me see.

I'm fine. But you…

What? Do I not look okay? What's the matter?

Please let me keep him.

As a replacement for my dead buffalo.

No way.

He's a stray,

and he almost killed your sister.

I knew you could control that buffalo.

So you drove him after your sister, right?

I hate it when you read my mind.

He's a good boy. Tui Tui has been tamed now.

So he has a name already.

He won't cause any trouble, I promise.

Right, Tui Tui?

-All right. -Yeah!

Stop it!

Bring the sweets to the abbot.

-No! -Or you let the buffalo go.

Riam!

All of you are lucky to be here.

This is a bullet-stopping amulet.

Oh my God!

Are you sure you don't want to keep it, Toh?

Good things must be shared.

-I'll buy it now. -Wait. Let me show you how it works.

-I'm all ears. -Yeah.

Place it in your palm and recite a spell.

The amulet will rise,

then speed out to stop the bullet.

Seeing is believing.

-Show us. -Come on.

Magic!

It's moving!

Come on! Float!

Hold on.

-Stop! -Why?

It's not floating.

It's probably in sleep mode.

Charlatan! You're wasting my time.

-Let's go home. -Don't leave. This is your last chance!

Bullshit.

Put that shit away, for God's sake.

But I did make it float before, I swear.

Why can't you do it now?

I'm wondering that myself.

Shit. We didn't make a dime today.

Let's eat. Riam made lunch for us.

Ram made these sweets.

And I made this.

What is it?

Sweets shaped like fruit are boring.

So I came up with this buffalo design.

Are you sure I won't get diarrhea from this?

You're so mean.

Everything I do is wrong because I'm not Ram.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

You have qualities your sister may not have.

Someday, someone will appreciate what you've got.

And when is that "someday," sir?

How would I know?

All right.

Ming, put these away.

Yes, sir.

Is this a bad omen?

May you two be blessed.

-Uncle Mor. -Holy shit!

It's just me. Don't panic.

You scared me.

You have a lot of magic herbs, right?

Why?

You are the most precious thing in my life.

If you really mean that, don't ever leave me.

I'll never leave you, until death do us part.

The horny herb? Seriously?

Yes. Uncle Mor said it makes people insanely horny.

How did you get Ram to eat it?

I put it in her ginger drink.

Are you serious?

Kem prefers a gentle and well-behaved lady, doesn't he?

What if Ram turns out to be a sex-crazed bride?

He'll leave her for sure.

Ram.

Ram.

Ram.

Kem will find it so off-putting.

Ram!

What's wrong with you?

Yeah, I like it rough.

What?

I thought you liked prim and proper women.

That's what my dad said, not me.

How is this possible?

I don't get it.

Get your ass down now.

Are you messing with your sister again?

What's that?

Give it to me.

What is it?

Horny herb.

I don't care how naughty you are,

but how could you do this to your sister?

She's always been nice to you.

She gives you her clothes and things all the time.

You mean the clothes and things she wanted to throw away?

Have you ever asked me if I even wanted them?

Right, because I'm not worth anything brand new.

Only hand-me-downs to save your money.

I'm just a trash can.

You don't even need me in this house.

You only need Ram. I could just drop dead.

Don't say that, Riam.

What should I say then, Mom?

How about, "Ram could drop dead and I wouldn't care"?

Sir!

What is it, Abbot?

I had a vision. The red-toothed bandits are coming.

Who are the red-toothed bandits?

They're evil outlaws with knowledge of black magic.

He's definitely dead.

What they want

isn't just money.

They want to deflower seven virgin girls

who were born on the fifth Saturday of a leap year.

This ritual will make their leader immortal.

Our village has a virgin girl born on the fifth Saturday?

Just one more girl and you'll be immortal.

Where will we find this last girl?

She's in Bang Namkroi.

Who is it?

It's Riam.

Tui Tui,

do you think there's someone out there who really loves me?

Great. Fart on me when I'm sad.

Disgusting.

Did you hear that?

Help! The red-toothed bandits are here!

Quiet! Or I'll kill you all!

They're here? Let's go!

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yes.

And that is?

Run.

I lost my pride a long time ago.

Then what are we waiting for?

-Let's go. -Quick.

Stop right there.

How can you do this?

Do what?

Run away without me.

I said shut the hell up!

Shit. They're here.

Look.

What's going on, Riam?

I don't know.

Go.

Shut up!

We gotta run! The bandits are here!

What? What do we do?

Where's Riam?

Go find her. Check that room.

Where is Riam? I asked where Riam is.

Up here.

Run, Riam!

They're looking for you!

What?

Who are you?

I'm Ram.

This is my husband.

Where is Riam?

She's not home.

Don't lie to me.

I said run, now!

What are you doing here?

Let me go!

Tell me where she is!

Where did he go?

Out the window.

Kem!

Kem!

-Kem, you asshole. -Come here.

Go.

Let me go.

Ram.

Get up.

Mom!

Mom!

She's Ram. Riam's sister.

I've asked her about Riam.

She said she didn't know where Riam was.

You don't know or you won't tell us?

Where is Riam?

I'm asking you where she is!

All right. I'll tell you.

Riam has gone to Bangkok. She's not here.

Don't you lie to me.

Enough!

You can kill us, but we'll never tell you where she is!

Fine. I'll take you as hostages.

And you, go and tell Riam.

If she doesn't show up at Prakarn Mountain before the first rain arrives…

I'll kill them all!

Take them.

Get up!

Move.

-Move! -No!

The police said they couldn't spare any men to help us.

They're asking for reinforcements from Bangkok.

But it will take a long while before they arrive.

We can't wait.

They'll kill Jan and Ram before that.

Right.

Pumpkin, I have to save my mom.

Riam.

Pumpkin and I will go and rescue our family.

Are you crazy? That's exactly what they want.

They just want me, not anybody else.

If I go, I may find a way to help my mom and sister.

I can't just sit around and let them die.

Does anybody want to come with us?

Okay. We'll leave tomorrow, then.

I've consulted the Third Eye to assess the bandit chief's power.

His dark magic is powerful,

but he has his weaknesses.

Riam, you're a virgin

born on the fifth Saturday of a leap year.

Your spiritual force is great.

That's why he wants you for the ritual.

But ironically, that's also why

you're the only one who can beat him.

This sacred tiger dagger, as well as your spiritual power,

will help you defeat him.

Thank you, Abbot.

This tiger amulet can ward off evil spirits.

Bye for now, Tui Tui.

I'll try to come back alive.

I saw a moon halo last night.

That means rain will start to fall in three days.

We won't make it in time on the regular road.

We have to take a shortcut through the forest, but…

But what?

But that shortcut…

People call it the Death Route.

Even bandits avoid it.

We probably won't make it out alive.

Dead or alive, I'm going in anyway.

Hurry up!

Are we that heartless?

Riam has always been kind to us.

Now she's in trouble,

and we won't lift a finger?

I'm going to help her.

Damn it! I have decided.

Better to die with glory than to live with shame.

Let's go help Riam.

All right, then.

Let's all die together.

I'm coming too.

Bless you.

I'm glad that you're going to help Riam.

I will help her too.

How, sir?

There are only two of these sacred objects left.

What are they?

Blessed tiger's balls.

I'm not sure if the sacred tiger dagger alone

will be able to deter those bandits.

So I charged these balls with my mental force.

Remember, the moment Riam stabs the bandit chief,

you must set these balls on fire.

The power contained inside

will be released and will strengthen her dagger.

Can they really catch on fire?

Definitely.

How do you know?

Look.

-You moron! -What?

I just said I had only two left.

-Inn! -Yes, boss.

Lock them in the house.

Aunt Jam,

if we die,

do you think Riam will get away from them?

I don't think so.

Riam won't even think about running away.

I believe she's on her way here.

What?

What are these red marks?

They indicate the dangerous passages in the woods.

If we can get past them, we'll get to our mother.

The first passage is in a dense forest.

The Grove of Bullet Brambles.

Riam won't give up easily.

She's a jealous girl who's never felt loved.

When she knows someone loves her,

she'll do anything for that person.

You probably wouldn't understand.

Because you've always been loved.

You're the good girl to your mom and to everyone else.

But I never wanted to be the good girl.

I just wanted to be a good sister to Riam.

And a good daughter to my mom.

Maybe it's all of us

who made Riam the jealous type.

-Riam! -What?

You almost stepped on it.

These brambles can pierce through your shoes.

The poison is deadly.

You wouldn't last a minute before dying.

Do you think this Riam will come to us?

It doesn't matter.

What matters is whether she's really a virgin.

If not, it'll be a disaster.

Why?

The fire element in Tai's body would explode and kill him.

Mom, I have a plan.

What's your plan?

Be careful, Riam.

Pumpkin.

Watch out, Riam.

Your legs!

It's narrow here.

Inn, go get more booze.

Right away.

Mom, give me the horny herb.

Are you sure?

Trust me.

The horny herb.

Mom, Auntie.

No more dried beef left?

Downstairs. Come with me.

Look at my legs.

They're all scratched.

No! Get away from me!

Mom! Help!

Mom!

No!

Help!

Get away from me!

Mom!

No!

Hey, stop it.

Tai!

Control yourself. You'll get yourself killed!

What did you do to him?

You drugged me?

Did you drug me?

Riam, slow down.

What now?

We're approaching the second dangerous spot.

-Are we? -Yes.

Tie them up downstairs.

Do you hear that?

Yes. What is it?

The second danger is in a sparse forest.

The Fire Cobra's Ground.

Riam!

What?

A Fire Cobra is right behind you.

Come. It's this way.

-Don't walk too fast. -You walk too slow.

Because I can't see well.

We have to hurry.

What's wrong? What?

I stepped on something. It hurts really bad.

Is that…

-What is it, Mor? -Shit!

These are the Bullet Brambles.

Their poison will enter your legs and spread through your body.

It will reach your brain and ultimately kill you.

You're screwed.

I don't want to die. Help me!

-Cut off his leg. Give me the knife. -Cut it right off.

The knife is ready.

Wait! Can't you try other options first?

Other options?

Let me think.

Thinking takes too long. Let's cut off your leg.

No! There must be another way.

Give him some time.

I've got it! I have this brown herb.

Grind it, and its powder can neutralize the poison.

What the hell are you waiting for?

I'm in pain.

Shit!

Tell me. What now?

The Cobra has brought friends.

How many?

Three.

Three snakes?

Three-zero. Thirty.

Mor, you're taking forever!

Look, the poison has spread to his lips.

It's too late.

-I'm cutting off his leg. -Hold on!

Mor.

-What? -Hurry up.

I know. I'm trying!

It's so painful!

The leaves are so thick.

Let me do it.

Why is this herb so thick?

Holy shit.

It's the wrong herb.

What the hell am I chewing?

I was looking for an antidote,

but I gave you a poisonous leaf.

The toxin will make your veins burst

and paralyze you.

Damn, that sounds worse than my leg!

Run!

Run!

Faster, Pumpkin!

What do we do now?

Volcanic sulfur.

We're safe now.

-Shit! -What the hell is this?

It's volcanic sulfur.

You've had it on you this whole time?

Yeah, Uncle Mor gave it to me.

So what were you waiting for back there?

I forgot I had it.

You made a mess.

There's a rash all over your face.

Your nervous system is collapsing. You'll go numb soon.

Sorn…

do you feel any pain?

Yes, from the first slap.

But why am I so cold?

The poison's entered your veins.

You'll get colder and colder.

The fire element is exploding inside you.

I'm cold. Let me hug you.

I'll keep you warm.

Let me cut off your leg first!

No, it's so cold!

I'll hug you, Sorn.

Let's cut off your lips first.

Damn, I'm cold.

Am I in Alaska or what?

-Mor. -Yes?

Just do something. Use your head.

I'm dying.

I've got it.

-What do we do? -Just eat the brown herb.

Don't bother with the grinding.

Asshole! Why didn't you say that in the first place?

You're right.

Do it quick!

Easy!

Easy. Like feeding a duck.

Chew it and swallow.

That was close.

Damn you, Mor.

What kind of herb doctor are you?

Yeah, you're welcome.

Where am I?

Where's Pumpkin?

Slide into my arms.

I'll keep you safe.

It's him again.

What did you say?

Wait.

Swallow something first.

Swallow what?

Tea.

Pulled tea.

Are you serious?

Taste it and you'll never forget it.

Yummy!

Watch.

Over the head.

Done. Ready to drink.

You're wasting my time.

Open your mouth. It's coming.

So tasty!

Riam!

What's wrong with you?

I was dreaming.

-About what? -That guy.

I don't get it.

Why do I keep seeing this guy in my dreams?

We're in deep shit, and you're dreaming about a guy?

I can't believe it.

What is it?

What is it?

Riam.

Uncle!

Uncle!

Uncle Sorn!

Uncle!

Good thing I'm a fast catcher.

That's not funny, damn it!

You guys are here to help me?

We sure are.

Inn, get them over here.

It's going to rain.

Soon it will rain on Prakarn Mountain.

When the first rain falls,

they're going to kill our family.

We're doomed.

When it starts raining, shoot them.

Sure, boss.

The lemongrass ritual.

What are you talking about?

A virgin can stop the rain by sticking lemongrass upside-down into the ground.

That's what I'll do.

But where are we going to find lemongrass?

I have some!

-Thank you so much, Uncle Mor. -Yes.

How come it didn't work?

Why didn't it work, Riam?

You've had sex, haven't you?

No! Never!

Then how come it's pouring rain?

I've never done it. I would know, wouldn't I?

Are you a heavy sleeper?

I said I'm a virgin!

Then why isn't it working?

Shit!

This isn't lemongrass. It's green onion!

I got it wrong again.

Get her some lemongrass.

Now!

Who wants to go first?

How about you?

Don't shoot my mother!

You love your mom that much, huh?

Riam!

Stop!

Take them away.

Get up!

Get back there.

I think Tui Tui has run away.

Riam asked me to look after him, and I let her down.

He didn't run away.

He's a loyal beast, and he's gone to help his mistress.

What? He's gone to help Riam?

How will he find her?

That, I don't know.

It's been a rough journey,

and we're not even close to the bandits.

Will we have any strength left to fight them?

What's wrong with you, Riam?

This is no time to dance.

I'm not Riam. I'm the mighty goddess.

That bitch insulted me by stepping on my shrine.

All of you too!

Chill, goddess.

Uncle Sorn, run!

Okay, I'll run!

Don't you dare run away from me!

Please don't hurt us.

I will kill you all.

I didn't mean to insult you. I'm sorry.

I don't care. I'm angry!

What the hell's happening here?

-Easy. -It's me, Riam.

Pull yourself together, Riam.

I'm the goddess!

Make up your mind, bitch!

Did you just call me a bitch, asshole?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slap you.

I know it wasn't you.

-You know nothing, asshole. -There you go again.

Why did you call him an asshole?

You dare call me an asshole?

Who are you? You can't call someone an asshole, okay?

I'm the monkey goddess.

Why should we be afraid of you?

You're just a puny little goddess.

You'll shit yourself when you find out who he is.

I don't care who he is.

He's Sorn, the Homicidal Hammer.

That hurts!

You could kick him in the face, and he'd be fine.

Shut up. Don't egg her on!

What are you doing?

Stop hurting him.

I won't!

That's enough.

No, it's not enough.

I'm begging you.

Don't just stand there. Give me a hand!

Pumpkin, you coward, do something useful!

-What do you want me to do? -Whatever. Just do it.

Right, I have this amulet.

Put it on her.

-Riam. -It worked.

Has the spirit left her?

I'm so tired.

That was real, wasn't it?

What happened to me?

More like, what happened to me?

Look, the river has deep and shallow channels under the surface.

The bandits rest their horses on the other side of the river.

What are we waiting for, then?

Hold on.

The third danger lies in the river.

A primordial crocodile lives in its depths.

I've heard this story before.

But nobody has seen it for a long time. Maybe it's already dead.

Be careful.

Hurry up!

Go!

Be careful, Riam. Come, Riam.

-Riam! -Where is she?

Riam!

Maybe she got sucked into the deep channel.

Riam!

Riam!

You're a good swimmer. Get down there.

In your dreams.

Riam!

Riam!

What do we do?

We have to do something!

The dagger.

Riam!

Come on up.

Are you hurt?

Get up here, Uncle Mor.

It's coming.

-Come on, Sorn! -Coming.

Hurry up!

I'm dead.

Hang in there.

-Riam! -What?

Stupid girl, stop! You keep hitting my butt!

Tui Tui!

Riam!

Go, Tui Tui!

Sorn, get out of the way!

Quick!

Leave me alone.

Go!

Get away from me.

Riam!

Tui Tui.

That crocodile is so powerful!

Tui Tui!

Riam, catch!

Shoot!

Tui Tui!

It's not just the crocodile.

The buffalo's powerful too.

Tui Tui, are you hurt?

He got one.

I got three and my ass looks like a pin cushion.

Riam, tell Tui Tui to go home. He's hurt real bad.

And what about me?

On the count of three, okay?

-On three? -Yeah.

One!

Freaking idiot! What about two and three?

It's less painful this way.

-Two more. -Two more, right?

On three again, okay?

Three!

You bastard! Where were one and two?

It would take too long.

One more to go?

All done. But… Shit!

One arrowhead's still stuck in your ass.

Now what?

What are you looking for?

A knife.

No, I'll push it out myself.

Right on.

Is it out yet?

There's blood squirting out of you!

Try to stop it, or you'll bleed to death.

-Ready? -You're asking me?

No, myself.

Stop it, or you'll bleed to death.

Easy now.

Done.

No one's going to rescue us.

We'd better prepare for the worst.

Don't give up hope, Mom.

Maybe Riam and her friends are on their way.

Riam? I'd never expect anything from her.

That's typical of you. It's why Riam turned out the way she did.

What are you talking about?

To you, a good daughter must be prim and proper.

A real lady.

But Riam is different.

So to you, she's a good-for-nothing.

Do you really think

Riam has no redeeming qualities at all?

So?

They're still alive.

Uncle Toh, you take out Cherd.

Uncle Sorn, you get rid of Inn.

Uncle Mor and Pumpkin, get ready to light the tiger's ball.

Do it exactly when I'm taking out their boss.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Wait.

You can't go like this.

You need some kind of camouflage.

You're right. Thanks for the advice.

You're welcome.

I'm ready.

Holy shit!

What are you doing?

You told me I needed camouflage.

Yes, but you look ridiculous like that.

No one can spot me this way.

They'll spot you from miles away.

Cherd.

Looking for your horse?

I set him free.

Ram.

Ram.

Buddha help me!

Who is that?

It's me, Riam.

Riam?

I'm wearing a disguise.

Riam!

I've come to rescue you.

Help me too.

Are you all right?

Get up, Mom.

Be quiet. You three get out of here now.

Wait. Where are you going?

I'm going to take care of the boss.

No. You can't beat him.

I have to try, or this will never end.

Go now. Go.

Shit!

Look after yourself. I care about you.

It's okay.

Only one of us will walk out of here alive.

Well, I have something special to try out on you.

What's that?

The invisible tiger's fang.

Put it in your mouth and blow.

Your enemy won't be able to see you.

The invisible fang is working.

You can't lift my hammer.

Unless you were born on the twelfth day

in the fourth month in the Year of the Tiger.

Damn it. That's your birthday too?

Yup.

Wait.

The invulnerable tiger's fang.

Put it in your mouth, and no one can harm you.

-Amen. -Awesome.

That's a backhand.

And now a forehand.

A headbutt.

This is called backhead.

Got it?

Get ready to die!

Hold on.

You can see me?

Oh my!

What's the problem?

I forgot to tell Sorn and Toh

that the magic of the tiger's fang only lasts for three minutes.

I feel a little pain.

Maybe not.

Definitely.

Wait! Time-out!

You're dead!

Ouch!

Hurry up, Mom.

I hope Riam is okay.

Let's light the blessed tiger's ball.

You're right.

Come on.

-Hold it. -Got it.

It's not working.

-Try again. -Okay.

The matches got soaked in the river.

I think so.

Hurry up!

I'm trying! You can see it's not working!

All right, this one is our last chance.

Here we go!

No.

Shit.

-Riam! -Shit!

You!

Who are you?

Riam?

Finally, you've come to me.

But you're here to be my wife,

not to kill me!

What the hell are you doing?

The monkey goddess?

That was pretty easy.

Ram!

Mom!

Where's Riam?

She's fighting the bandit!

Come on.

Get up, Riam!

Run! Run, Riam!

If I can't have you, then you must die!

-Hurry up. Come on. -Speed up!

Riam!

Are you all right?

Sis, I'm all right.

No time for hugs. Run!

Riam!

Ram!

Light the tiger's ball!

The matches are wet.

I'll make a fire.

Ram!

Come on.

It's too late!

Hey!

It worked!

-Here. -Hey!

Ram!

-Ram! -Ram, are you hurt?

Please don't die.

Ram!

Riam.

Bring Mom home safely.

You have to come home with us.

I'm sorry.

You're a jealous girl because of me.

When I'm gone, you'll be loved by everyone.

Ram, I'm not jealous of you anymore.

I realized how much you love me

the day the bandits came to our house.

And I love you too.

Ram!

Hang on. I hope what I'm thinking is right.

-Wait right here. -Ram.

Which one is it?

Wake up, Ram.

-There it is! -What is it?

The monkey's bullet buster.

Put it around your neck, and the bullets will pop out.

-Really? -For real?

Do it now.

Ram.

Ram.

Ram!

Ram!

Ram!

-You saw it, didn't you? -Saw what?

My amulet stopped the bullet.

-I didn't see it. -How come you didn't see it?

I just didn't see it.

Your amulet?

Exactly.

Didn't see it either.

Then why did you mention it?

I'm the hero.

Hey, I'm the hero!

Hi! What's up kids?

Mom.

Thank you.

When the bandits came for me,

you told them you'd die for me.

Riam, listen to me.

You've always been a naughty girl in my eyes,

but that never stopped me from loving you.

That's so sweet.

We're all safe.

You're the best.

I've performed a cleansing ritual.

The monkey goddess can no longer possess you.

Amen.

You should no longer be jealous of your sister

because everyone is now jealous of your courage.

What's wrong?

If I'm so brave and tough,

why won't any guy come near me?

You want a husband, right?

I guess.

I have something to tell you.

Last night, I used my divine power to see your future.

Before you meet your soul mate,

you'll have to suffer through a terrible pain first.

A terrible pain?

But I've just been through a near-death experience.

There's more agony for me?

Goodbye, then. I don't want a soul mate now.

Do I have to die before I can find someone who loves me?

A terrible pain? For real?

Riam, run!

Tui Tui's gone mad!

Tui Tui!

Tui Tui!

Tui Tui, I'm your mother!

You ungrateful beast!

That was so messed up.

Wait here.

I'm sorry. Are you all right?

Do I look all right?

You just drop-kicked me into a puddle.

I was trying to help.

The buffalo stopped suddenly.

I'm sorry. Let me take a look.

Don't touch me!

Let me clean your face.

Don't touch me!

Six-pack abs…

What are you doing here, young man?

Young man?

I'm a girl.

Get up.

Don't touch me, bitch.

Let me help you.

Don't touch me!

Go away.

Riam.

So it's you, Kla!

Kla? You know him?

Of course.

He's the nice and handsome friend I told you about.

I thought I was all right.

But now I'm aching all over.

I'm suffocating.

I need someone to give me CPR.

Bitch, you fell. You didn't drown.

By the way, what brought you here?

You asked me to come, remember? So I came with Thong.

Thong?

Thong, my sissy buddy.

Pumpkin, who's this?

Riam's sister.

Watch your tits! That's disgusting!

He looks like the man in my dreams.

Don't look at me, bitch.

Stop poking me with your tits.

Let's go and leave the new lovebirds alone.

Well, you two try to get along.

If you do, great. If you don't, I'll be right here waiting.

What a tease.

Go home, Sis.

What's your family trade?

We make Thai desserts.

Well, that's a ladylike profession.

So boring.

What?

I prefer tough girls who are ready to stand up to men.

In that case,

I fit the profile.

How's that?

Just my type.