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1
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:21,729
(POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE MARCHES
PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,400
YOUNG WOMAN:
They wonder why those of us
in our twenties
3
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:28,152
refuse to work
an 80-hour week
4
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,947
just so we can afford
to buy their BMWs,
5
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,993
why we aren't interested
in the counterculture
that they invented,
6
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:39,122
as if we did not see them
disembowel their revolution
7
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,915
for a pair
of running shoes.
8
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,835
MALE STUDENT: Whoo! Yeah!
YOUNG WOMAN:
But the question remains,
9
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,546
what are we
going to do now?
10
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,633
How can we repair
all the damage we inherited?
11
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:54,345
Fellow graduates,
the answer is simple.
12
00:00:55,222 --> 00:01:08,151
The answer is...
13
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,153
I don't know.
14
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,905
(STUDENTS CHEERING,
WHISTLING)
15
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,907
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
16
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,039
Good save, Lelaina.
17
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,043
I'm not a valedictorian,
but I play one on TV.
18
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:29,005
We all know you slept
your way to the podium.
19
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,264
My favorite part
about graduating now will be
20
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:41,225
dodging
my student loan officer
for the rest of my life.
21
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,896
He will be in cahoots
with the Columbia Record
and Tape Company guy.
22
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,106
Been after my ass for years.
23
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,527
Troy Dyer.
Brought you back
a souvenir.
24
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,989
You could still
go back next year
and graduate,
25
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,283
still get
your BFA.
Oh, can I?
26
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,287
And then I can hang this
on my rearview mirror
27
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,540
to brag to all my
good buddies back home
that I graduated.
28
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,543
Well, I'm through
with the whole wank-a-rama.
29
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,257
Well, I know this sounds
cornball, but, um,
30
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,804
I'd like to somehow
make a difference
in people's lives.
31
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,601
And I... I would like to
buy them all a Coke.
32
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,688
And you wonder why
we never got involved.
33
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,774
Three words,
November 16, 199...
34
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,110
Oh, totally drunk.
It would have been
a poetic experience,
35
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,196
if I weren't
such a gentleman.
36
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,241
Just let it go, Dyer.
Surrender the fantasy.
37
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:42,161
LELAINA: Hey, Sammy,
what's your goal?
38
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,622
My goal is to...
39
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,792
I'd like a career
or something.
40
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,928
I think the moment has been
appropriately captured.
41
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,056
Could you please
take your face
out of the camera?
42
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,100
Come on.
It's for my documentary.
43
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:08,813
Her documentary.
44
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,317
Think fast.
45
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,616
Here's the deal.
46
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,327
I'm gonna take Sam
against his will
47
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,829
and straighten him out,
48
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,124
because I believe if
we can get two women
on the Supreme Court,
49
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,960
we can get at least one
on you, Sam.
50
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:36,841
I'm Superman.
I can fly.
51
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,426
She's toasted.
52
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,220
Quick, Vickie,
what's your
Social Security?
53
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:44,849
Uh, 851-25-9357.
54
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,976
Very impressive.
55
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,605
It's the only thing
I really learned in college.
56
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,525
Sometimes I get
57
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,652
that not-so-fresh feeling.
58
00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:01,282
ALL: (SINGING)
Conjunction junction
What's your function?
59
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,952
Hookin' up words
and phrases and clauses
60
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,123
Conjunction junction
How's that function?
61
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,083
I got three favorite cars
62
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,336
They get most
of my job done
63
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,978
Honey, honey.
Let me do it for you.
No, no.
64
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,783
Is yours good?
I don't think
it's very fresh.
65
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,201
I'm sorry.
66
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:55,294
Well, I guess it's about
time for me to give you
your graduation present.
67
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,883
Your gas card.
I'll pay that bill
for one year.
68
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:04,553
And since Helen Anne's
got herself a brand-new
Infiniti,
69
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,014
we're gonna give you
her old BMW.
70
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,641
You pick it up
at our house.
71
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,936
BMW? BMW!
72
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:15,940
Yeah.
Tom, didn't you listen
to her speech today?
73
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,775
She doesn't want a BMW.
74
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,486
Mom, I'll handle this.
I'm not gonna sit here
75
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,906
and listen to some
strange ethical argument
about a damn car.
76
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,242
It's got four wheels.
It runs well.
77
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:30,121
After you've been
in the real world, you're
gonna appreciate that car.
78
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:34,375
Just think of all those
starving children in Africa
that don't even have cars.
79
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,753
Troy, does your father
give you gifts like that?
Mom!
80
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:42,758
My father's dying
of prostate cancer, so I don't
trouble him much for gifts.
81
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,015
See, Tom?
TOM: Hmm?
82
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,183
You don't want a BMW.
Tell him, Lelaina!
83
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:54,395
Charlane, she can
make up her own mind.
84
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:58,733
Dad, don't talk
to her that way.
She's not a child.
85
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,985
Well, she married one.
86
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:03,863
What?
87
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,159
All right.
Excuse me. Come on.
88
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:13,456
Mom, Dad, I'll take the BMW,
until I can afford to
buy a regular car, okay?
89
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,125
Okay, Mom?
Please?
90
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,336
Mom, please?
Come on.
91
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,764
Get a Ford.
92
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,477
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
93
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,171
Just afloat on the sea
94
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:07,885
Find myself
on a page of history
95
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,515
You know
as I ride along
96
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,643
I can always hear the song
97
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,311
About you
98
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,856
And where you're meant to be
99
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,694
Well, you're gonna
tell me the answers
100
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:29,490
I'll know
when you come back to me
101
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,295
If we should fall
102
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,715
Love will catch us
every time
103
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:50,678
I hear you call
I will run
104
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:58,352
And if the magic
of the adventure overcomes
105
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,479
We won't cry
106
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,399
Because it could be fun
107
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,654
Well, I'm gonna
tell you the answers
108
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:13,075
You'll know
when you come back to me
109
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:33,929
Gonna be all right
110
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,266
When you come back to me
111
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,466
(TELEVISION THEME MUSIC
PLAYING)
112
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,226
Good morning.
113
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,144
Good morning!
114
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,521
(CHUCKLING)
115
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,608
Yes, good morning,
ladies and gentleman!
116
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:31,153
I see a gentleman
right over there!
Good morning!
117
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,656
Good morning!
Boy, I tell ya,
118
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,492
it is a good morning
with this audience.
119
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:41,830
Today for all you dieters,
guiltless goodies
from Chef Skinny Ninny!
120
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,250
(APPLAUSE)
Ho-ho. Mmm.
121
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,796
And we'll also be
visiting with a man
right here from Houston
122
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,924
who is battling
Alzheimer's.
AUDIENCE: Aww.
123
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:57,304
A beautiful and touching
story of the triumph
of the human spirit.
124
00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,641
He's so cheesy
I can't watch him
without crackers.
125
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:05,980
Now let's take a peek
inside our Video View and see
what we have in store today.
126
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:13,028
It's a special report
on children's
birthday party themes.
127
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:16,991
Taped on location
at eight-year-old
Davey Robbins' party
128
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:20,286
exclusively for our
Video View collection.
129
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,162
(APPLAUSE)
130
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,958
So come sit with me.
131
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,920
Relax.
Have a cup of joe.
132
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,632
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
133
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:39,179
Well, anyway, it's gonna be
a good day, good morning.
134
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,474
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
You're beautiful!
135
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,732
ASSISTANT AD:
Clear!
136
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,489
Am I here to amuse you,
Ms. Pierce? Is that the
reason I'm on this show?
137
00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:00,576
I put on your note card
to get your own expresso.
138
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,661
Didn't you get my
"espress yourself" memo?
139
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:06,874
I don't have time for
your games. We're laying
people off around here.
140
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:10,669
I can find an intern
who'll do your job
for free, like that.
141
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,714
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
142
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,180
I been locked out
143
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,349
I been locked in
144
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,769
But I always seem
to come back again
145
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:30,522
And the view when I look
through my window...
146
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,733
That's a much better size.
That looks great.
147
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,194
That would go
with the Easy Fits.
148
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,781
So... Oh, buttoning it up.
That's even better. Okay.
149
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,954
Yeah!
Roll 'em right up.
It's liberating, isn't it?
150
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,956
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
151
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,295
BOTH: (SINGING)
I bought a toothbrush
Some toothpaste
152
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,714
A flannel for my face
153
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:58,092
Pajamas, a hair brush
154
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,552
New shoes and a case
155
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,721
I said to my reflection
156
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:06,558
Let's get out of this place
157
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,479
Passed the church
and the steeple
158
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,856
The laundry on the hill
159
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:16,276
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
Murders, there's one
committed each seven seconds
160
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,444
How do you know...
(PHONE RINGING)
161
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:21,365
Hello? I got cut off.
I'm sorry.
MAN: What the hell happened?
162
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,743
Tempted by the fruit
of another
163
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,203
(QUACKING)
164
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,957
(RAP MUSIC BLARING)
Hello? What?
165
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,919
Tempted but the truth
is discovered
166
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:38,298
What's been goin' on
Now that you have gone
167
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,968
No, no, listen.
He needs us.
168
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:44,721
He makes videos.
We show them, okay?
It's symbiotic.
169
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:48,016
It's like the chicken
or the egg, both of them
working together...
170
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,770
(MAN ON PHONE ANSWERS
INDISTINCTLY)
Well, I'm not scared of him.
171
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,356
No, no, I'm not scared of...
172
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,276
Jesus!
(LELAINA SCREAMING)
173
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,278
Michael,
don't laugh at me.
174
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,405
What? No!
(AIR BAG POPPING)
175
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,782
I'm in an accident.
I got in an accident.
176
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,034
MAN: You okay?
(AIR BAG POPPING)
177
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,537
Yeah. No.
I'll call you back.
178
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:13,250
When you say "sue..."
It's not really my idea.
179
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:16,170
I got my lawyer telling me
something about my rates...
180
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:20,632
Right. You mean like sue
in a courtroom for money?
181
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,635
I don't know.
I've never done anything
like this before.
182
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:27,347
Do you have a lawyer?
No, I don't have a lawyer.
I don't have a dentist.
183
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,392
I'm...
You know, I make $400 a week.
184
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,561
What do you do?
185
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,855
At the moment,
I'm working...
(PHONE RINGS)
186
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,191
I'm sorry. I just...
I gotta...
187
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,778
Hello?
188
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:47,951
Yeah, what is it?
I don't care if she does
12 books of herself naked.
189
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,913
It doesn't...
That's Dr. Zaius
from Planet of the Apes.
190
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:54,249
Oh!
I'm sorry.
Someone else is in here.
191
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,711
Yeah? Well, let her
say that to me.
192
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,922
No, don't do that.
Oh, I'm sorry.
193
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,592
No, no, you can...
I was... Go ahead.
You want to touch it?
194
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,470
Me?
Yeah, go ahead.
No, I was talking to...
195
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:10,432
Can I talk to you later?
Can we... What? Okay.
196
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,769
Um... Okay.
197
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,103
Um, uh...
198
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:19,358
You know what?
Just forget it.
199
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,276
Really. Just forget
the whole thing.
200
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,739
It was probably my fault
anyway, and I'll get
in trouble, and I don't...
201
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,618
You seem very sweet,
and you seem to
like Dr. Zaius.
202
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,120
Oh.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
203
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,624
That's...
204
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:40,379
Oh, I...
That's... He was just
a collector's... No big...
205
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:44,633
Um, well, here's...
Here's his head.
It's really...
206
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,177
You know,
I think he's gone.
207
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,722
Yeah.
I'm, like, ruining
your whole life here.
208
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,891
No, you're not, really.
209
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:56,979
Just don't touch
anything else, and
I think we'll be fine.
210
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,650
Michael Grates,
Vice President
Regional Programming,
211
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,193
In Your Face TV.
212
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,779
We've seen it.
It's like MTV,
but with an edge.
213
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,073
So is it a date?
Yeah. Yep.
214
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,825
Dinner?
Coffee.
215
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,953
Coffee or cappuccino?
Oh, he ended up
saying "decaf."
216
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,872
Oh, no.
Early night. Is there
any pre-coffee activity?
217
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,835
I don't think so.
Did he ask you to go out
or to hang out?
218
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:23,005
Go out. He definitely
said go out.
Hey. How ya doin'?
219
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,632
Oh, shit.
What?
220
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,509
I forgot
to tell you
something.
221
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:32,431
Are you out of your mind?
He just got fired
from the newsstand.
222
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,726
He needs a place to stay
until he can find a new job.
223
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,229
Vickie, that's the American
dream of the '90s.
That could take years.
224
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:43,609
Look at it like
a built-in security system.
We'll have a man around.
225
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:48,280
We'll have a hall monitor.
I don't even know if this
is allowed in the building.
226
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:52,576
It's not like Mr. Roper's
gonna burst in. I'll just
stay on the couch.
227
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:57,873
Vickie, he will
turn this place
into a den of slack.
228
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,710
What the hell
is your problem?
229
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:05,464
I have to work, and
unfortunately, Troy,
230
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,133
you are a master at
the art of time suckage.
231
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,761
Well, Miss Poster Girl
for The Workers Party,
232
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:14,681
until I get that toehold
in the burger industry,
I got time to suck.
233
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:17,184
I'd rather check
into a shelter.
234
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:21,146
I know how much you'd love
to mainline misery here,
235
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,524
but I can get you an interview
at my dad's plant.
236
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,321
Is that part of
my lease agreement?
That or a credit check.
237
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,907
It's cool, Troy.
You can stay.
238
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:35,619
Welcome to the maxi-pad.
Yeah, with
the new Dri-Weave.
239
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,955
It actually
pulls moisture away
from you. It's good.
240
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,834
You won't even
know I'm here.
241
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,505
Well, should I get married
Should I be good
242
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:50,092
Should I astound
the girl next door with my
velvet suit and Faustus hood
243
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:55,097
Take her to cemeteries and
tell her of werewolf tongues
and forked clarinets
244
00:16:56,766 --> 00:17:00,352
What Hey, That's My Bike
would like to do eventually
as a band
245
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,729
is travel the countryside
like Woody Guthrie.
246
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,648
Or, uh, Richard Simmons.
247
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,900
You know how he...
Commercials,
248
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,902
he travels around,
surprises people jogging.
249
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,822
As you can see,
I have, uh,
250
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:15,534
the occasional run-in with
an anti-Hey-That's-My-Biker,
251
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,995
and to those people,
I say nobody...
252
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,791
Nobody can eat 50 eggs.
253
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,169
Laney?
What-y?
254
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,005
The next time you make
microwave brownies,
255
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,842
I'd really consider
using a microwave.
256
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,386
It's just a thought.
(LAUGHING)
257
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,098
You know, I finally
figured out what
your problem is, Dyer.
258
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,850
What's that?
I'm not a Pepper?
259
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:43,061
You suffer from the
philosopher-groupie syndrome.
260
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:46,064
You're this guy
with, like, a 180 IQ,
261
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,608
10 units away from
a degree in philosophy.
Yeah?
262
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,570
And you always fall
for these dumb groupie types.
263
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,363
Now, they are not all dumb.
264
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:56,825
Most of them are just
very, very depressed.
(LAUGHING)
265
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,661
You find me attractive,
sitting here, eating brownies?
266
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,540
You do. You're strangely
attracted to me right now.
You're oddly attracted to me.
267
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:07,335
It turns you on. You like
to watch, don't you?
Come on!
268
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,337
(LELAINA SCREAMING)
269
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,090
Don't! Come on.
It's not funny.
Here we are.
270
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,134
Give it back.
Give what back?
271
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,970
Give it back!
Give the brownies back?
Oh, brownies, brownies!
272
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:20,932
Oh! Oh!
I love brownies!
My name's...
273
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,058
Hey, don't.
Hey, watch the camera.
274
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,811
Don't do anything.
That's not nice.
275
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,527
(DOOR OPENING)
276
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,573
Mr. Gubler, um,
do you have time
277
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,701
to take a look at
what I've done here?
I need my questions.
278
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,580
Oh. Well, here's
the research that I did.
You might want to read it,
279
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:48,502
'cause this guest has
quite a history in politics.
Just give me my questions.
280
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,470
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
281
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,681
Excusez-moi.
(CANNED LAUGHTER)
282
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,226
Are you all alone?
Not anymore.
283
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:09,856
If I could bottle
the sexual tension between
Bonnie Franklin and Schneider,
284
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,609
I could solve
the energy crisis.
285
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:17,989
Excuse me.
Don't Bogart
that can, man.
286
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,743
Are you retarded?
No, I'm rhyming.
287
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:26,456
It's not easy.
I'm sure I make it
look easy.
288
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:31,211
You guys better not
be inhaling.
Hi.
289
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:36,424
Lelaina, Vickie was
just promoted to manager
of The Gap.
290
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,761
Shut up.
VICKIE:
It's not even a big deal.
291
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:43,932
The old manager tried
to kill herself by eating
a whole pot of poinsettias.
292
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:48,937
Still, I'm so proud of you!
I'll be making $400 a week.
293
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,898
We're never gonna have
rent problems again.
294
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,442
Troy,
aren't you excited?
295
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,611
I'm bursting
with fruit flavor.
296
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,738
VICKIE:
Guys, I just thought
of something.
297
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:04,327
I'm manager of The Gap.
I'm responsible for
all those T-shirts:
298
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:08,039
French cut, V-necked,
ribbed, what-have-you.
299
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:11,877
Dude, I'm in trouble.
No, you're not, Vick.
I know you can do it.
300
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:16,131
I just do not understand
why this moment
has to be Memorexed.
301
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:21,636
Sammy, don't you realize?
This is your one opportunity
to play a small part
302
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,556
in what is destined
to be greatness.
303
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:27,017
Laney here is
gonna revolutionize
304
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:31,771
Good Morning, Grant.
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry!
I had no idea!
305
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,482
Oh, yeah, look who's mocking.
All you do around here, Troy,
306
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:38,528
is eat and couch and
fondle the remote control.
307
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:41,740
I'm not under any orders to
make the world a better place.
308
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,534
Then what good are you?
You're a
pathological optimist.
309
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,369
LELAINA:
You're pathological.
310
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:50,790
Oh, would you two just do
it and get it over with?
I'm starving.
311
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,337
(PHONE RINGS)
Oh!
312
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,049
Hello. You've reached
the winter of our discontent.
313
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,511
Uh, hold on.
It's some Michael character?
314
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,059
(WHISPERING) Who's Michael?
VICKIE: Let's
order a pizza.
315
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:14,022
Lelaina! If we promise
to pay you back,
will you spot us a pizza?
316
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,025
(WHISPERING)
I don't have any cash.
Domino's takes checks.
317
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,110
Okay, great.
(MOUTHING)
318
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:23,031
Okay, bye.
The owner of Domino's
supports Operation Rescue.
319
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,701
Oh, please, no one
gives a shit right now.
We're starving.
320
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,703
Oh, wait.
(ALL GASP)
321
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:34,876
Ta-da!
We're going
to eat gas.
322
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:42,842
Ah!
Who's this
Michael guy?
323
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,219
Um...
Hey.
324
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,846
Vickie just figured
something out.
What?
325
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,224
Something
wonderful.
(GIGGLING)
326
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,310
"Evian" is "naive"
spelled backwards.
327
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:55,188
(GASPS)
Can you turn this
up, please?
328
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,400
Please?
You won't be sorry.
329
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,444
Thank you.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
330
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:05,365
When you gonna give me
some time, Sharona
331
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:08,201
Ooh, you make my motor run
My motor run
332
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:11,162
Gun it
Comin' it off of
the line, Sharona
333
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,916
Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind
334
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,501
I always get it up
Come on!
335
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,128
For the touch
of the younger kind
336
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:21,131
My, my, my-y-y
337
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,632
Whoa!
Hey!
338
00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:24,676
M-M-M-My Sharona
339
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,932
Come a little closer, hon
I'll be your hunk
340
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,519
Close enough to look
in my eyes, Sharona
341
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:37,689
Keepin' it a mystery
You get to me
342
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:41,151
Runnin' down the length
of my thigh, Sharona
343
00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:44,279
Good times
Anytime you need it, baby
344
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:47,782
Good times
Anytime you need a friend
345
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:51,619
Thelma's husband
Keith's got vodka
hidden in the toilet.
346
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:55,707
That's a good one.
Doom-doom.
(SINGING) James dies
347
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:57,625
That's a two-parter.
VICKIE:
I'll allow it.
348
00:22:57,752 --> 00:23:00,336
J.J. works
in the chicken shop.
We did that.
349
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:04,632
We did that in the same one
where he has a cape on.
Drink up, man.
350
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,469
I hate to see that happen
to the rookie. Um...
351
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:11,931
Alderman Davis judges a...
Oh, my God.
(DOOR OPENING)
352
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:15,769
Hi.
Are you a collection agent?
353
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,854
Lelaina!
354
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:22,317
Oh! Yeah!
I'll be right there!
355
00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:29,574
Oh.
If you ain't the most
hardheaded woman
356
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:31,576
I have ever seen.
Great.
357
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:34,329
Hurry up, hurry up.
Oh! It's me!
Willona dates a deaf guy.
358
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,791
Good, good, good.
How about the one where
Gary Coleman comes on.
359
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:40,376
He's, like, the little...
That guy?
360
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,589
We did that one.
Go.
It was cute.
361
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:48,384
J.J.'s prom date.
Gotta go, gotta go.
BOTH: Hi.
362
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:51,471
Um, every...
This is Michael.
363
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,556
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
364
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:56,351
You got a prom date
and a prom date...
365
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,020
VICKIE: Too late. Wait up.
I'm gonna go.
366
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,397
Bye.
Michael throws a party.
Sammy, let's go.
367
00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:05,151
Lelaina. You know
the punishment for
premature evacuation.
368
00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:08,196
MAN: Frank's party.
Sammy Joe?
369
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:11,950
Penny!
Willona adopts Penny!
Shit!
370
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,119
(MUSIC PLAYING)
371
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:17,080
I'm, uh, making
this documentary
about my friends,
372
00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:20,875
but it's really about
people who are trying to
find their own identity
373
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,170
without having any
real role models or
heroes or anything.
374
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,800
Wow. That sounds great.
I mean, it seems like
375
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:32,303
your friends would be
perfect for that,
like that guy Troy?
376
00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:34,139
Troy, yeah.
All done here, sir?
377
00:24:34,265 --> 00:24:36,599
Uh, yeah.
You don't want
to finish that?
378
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:39,352
No, I'm fine.
I had a late...
379
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:42,981
So, uh, so Troy is...
You guys just... It's like
you guys living there,
380
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,275
just the two of you?
No, no, no, no.
It's...
381
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,946
It's me and Vickie,
but he, uh, got fired
from his job,
382
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,574
so he needed
a place to crash
for a couple of weeks, so...
383
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:58,454
They, um, caught him
stealing a Snickers.
He stole a Snickers bar?
384
00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:01,207
(LAUGHING)
Yeah.
(LAUGHING)
385
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,210
Somehow,
he can rationalize it,
386
00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:07,922
like the, uh, establishment
owes him a Snickers.
387
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:12,260
Right, right.
Well, I mean,
I guess, you know...
388
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:21,811
You know,
you're very beautiful.
389
00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:27,066
I mean... I mean, uh,
seriously, you're...
390
00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:32,322
I'm, uh... I'm, uh,
391
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:35,742
not really good
with compliments.
392
00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:42,248
Um, but, uh, um...
Are you religious?
393
00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:47,337
Um...
(LAUGHING)
394
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:49,964
I'm sorry.
Uh...
(LAUGHING)
395
00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:54,344
I guess, um...
I guess I'm, uh,
396
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,512
a non-practicing Jew.
397
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:59,057
Hey, I'm
a non-practicing virgin.
398
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,730
(RADIO PLAYING)
LELAINA:
Who's this again?
399
00:26:06,148 --> 00:26:08,650
MICHAEL:
Frampton. Peter Frampton?
Frampton.
400
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,527
I can't believe
you don't remember
Frampton Comes Alive.
401
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:14,364
That album, like,
totally changed my life.
402
00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:20,828
The most profound,
important invention
of my lifetime.
403
00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:24,415
The Big Gulp.
Because, see,
now listen.
404
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:29,379
You get one in the morning.
I'm talking 44-ouncer,
not this 32...
405
00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:32,298
Wait a minute.
Forty-four?
Yeah, 44 ounces.
406
00:26:32,383 --> 00:26:35,218
How can you ingest
44 ounces of anything?
407
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,887
How can you ingest
44 ounces of anything?
You get one,
408
00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:42,433
you have your essential
vitamins and nutrients
for the entire day.
409
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:47,021
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Sure, you're totally covered.
You do.
410
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:51,317
Well, I guess it
doesn't really take
much to make me happy.
411
00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:54,570
Hey, I'm not...
I'm not materialistic either.
412
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:58,324
I mean, I think
I'd be working even if
I wasn't getting paid.
413
00:26:58,409 --> 00:27:01,619
And I don't, like,
want to get a big house and...
414
00:27:01,704 --> 00:27:04,622
I just want,
like, a nice house.
415
00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:07,709
I'm not into cars
and stuff.
416
00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:09,877
I mean,
I like my car.
417
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:12,588
You're probably not...
Really not into, like,
418
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:16,426
expensive, snazzy,
Italian suits.
419
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,386
Oh, come on.
I'm just kidding.
420
00:27:18,512 --> 00:27:21,889
No, no, no.
I'm not like that.
I'm just kidding.
421
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:25,852
I mean, I mean...
I'm... I mean...
422
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:30,565
I know why the caged bird
sings and everything.
Oh, yeah? Why?
423
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:34,902
Because he was
in a cage, and he was...
424
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,322
I don't know.
He had high hopes
or some...
425
00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:40,450
Okay, I dropped
out of school before
we got to that, all right?
426
00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:43,786
I should have stayed
in college and gotten
a degree in astronomy.
427
00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:46,080
God, I love astronomy.
Really?
428
00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:48,458
Yeah, I just...
The math, though.
It was the math.
429
00:27:48,542 --> 00:27:52,170
Yeah, exactly.
I loved astronomy, too,
and I got in the class,
430
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:54,297
and it was like
everything was
431
00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:58,176
three squared times pi
equals the root of...
Pi!
432
00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:01,679
Pi. Yeah.
And I just, like, wanted
to look at the stars.
433
00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:04,599
Oh, same here.
Exactly.
It was so...
434
00:28:05,726 --> 00:28:10,605
I remember being so happy
on the roof of our old house,
just staring up at the stars.
435
00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:14,609
Mmm.
I want to do that again.
I want to just
436
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:18,529
look up at the stars
and take the time to
437
00:28:19,656 --> 00:28:22,909
smell the... Everything.
438
00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:29,332
'Cause it's like...
Do you ever have
those moments in life
439
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:31,751
where everything is okay?
440
00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:35,713
Do you know what I mean?
Like, just for one moment,
everything is great?
441
00:28:35,798 --> 00:28:39,759
Not since I graduated.
No. But yeah, yeah.
442
00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:43,262
When you, like,
catch yourself
in a moment,
443
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:46,849
and you're saying, "Wait,
wait, I'm happy here."
Right, right.
444
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:50,144
And then it just goes away,
really quickly.
Gone.
445
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,897
I know I've had
a couple of those.
446
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:56,818
I always forget them,
but I know I've had them.
Oh, me, too.
447
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,199
Like right now,
this one.
448
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:08,788
Yeah, like now.
It's...
449
00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:11,124
Who decides
450
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:16,212
Clouds are stalking islands
in the sun
451
00:29:18,215 --> 00:29:20,675
Wish I could buy one
452
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:24,512
Out of season
453
00:29:25,806 --> 00:29:27,181
But don't
454
00:29:28,809 --> 00:29:30,351
Hesitate
455
00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:33,813
'Cause your love
456
00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:39,444
Won't wait
Hey
457
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:43,281
Ooh, baby
I love your way
458
00:29:43,365 --> 00:29:45,032
Every day
459
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:51,706
Wanna tell you
I love your way, ooh
460
00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:58,004
(GASPS)
(SINGING) Ooh, baby,
I love your way
461
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:01,466
Every day
I wanna be with you
night and day
462
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:04,343
Shh!
So you been
up all night?
463
00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:10,391
I am picking up
some very strange vibes
in here.
464
00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:15,062
They're of the
"I just got laid" variety.
465
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:19,358
Did he dazzle you
with his extensive knowledge
of mineral water?
466
00:30:19,526 --> 00:30:22,695
Or was it his
in-depth analysis of, uh,
467
00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:25,239
Marky Mark that
finally reeled you in?
468
00:30:26,116 --> 00:30:27,658
I would like
to have been there
469
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:33,206
to watch how you rationalized
sleeping with a yuppie-head
cheeseball on the first date.
470
00:30:33,415 --> 00:30:37,502
He's not a yuppie.
He's the reason why
CliffsNotes were invented.
471
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:40,671
Well, that pales
in comparison
472
00:30:40,756 --> 00:30:42,590
to the tweaked-out
little skanks you date.
473
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:46,886
To hell with it.
What do I care?
What do you care?
474
00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:50,473
Why are you acting like
a jealous boyfriend
all of a sudden?
475
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,267
I am not acting
like anything.
476
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,311
I am calmly reading.
477
00:30:57,731 --> 00:31:00,149
God. If something's
bothering you,
478
00:31:00,234 --> 00:31:02,777
I wish you could be
man enough to talk
to me about it.
479
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:06,280
All right, Lelaina.
480
00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:21,629
I am really
in love with you.
481
00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:29,345
Is that what
you want to hear?
Is it?
482
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:32,890
Well, don't flatter yourself.
483
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:38,479
Go to hell.
484
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:51,617
(MUSIC PLAYING)
485
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:54,203
Since I've been manager here,
486
00:31:54,288 --> 00:31:58,499
our gross has increased
over 20%, uh...
487
00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:00,459
LELAINA: So?
What?
488
00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:05,298
Okay, okay. Um,
I guess I'm proud of that.
489
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:08,509
Ho, please.
Look at this sweater.
490
00:32:08,844 --> 00:32:10,970
People don't know
what it takes.
491
00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:14,807
I've never been
a good example before,
and, um,
492
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:18,894
I've never been good
with responsibility,
so, uh...
493
00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:22,857
I blame my parents, though.
I think I was conceived
on an acid trip.
494
00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:26,569
My parents got divorced
when I was, uh,
495
00:32:26,862 --> 00:32:28,404
five years old.
496
00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:32,617
And I saw my father
about three times a year
after that.
497
00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:38,623
And when he found out
that he had cancer, he
decided to bring me here,
498
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,916
and he gives me this big,
pink sea shell,
499
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:45,171
and he says to me,
"Son, the answers are
all inside of this."
500
00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:49,550
And I'm all, like, "What?"
But then I realize
that the shell's empty.
501
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,095
There's no point
to any of this.
It's all just a...
502
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:58,017
A random lottery
of meaningless tragedy
in a series of near-escapes.
503
00:33:00,646 --> 00:33:03,773
So I take pleasure
in the details.
You know, uh,
504
00:33:04,775 --> 00:33:06,984
a Quarter Pounder
with Cheese.
505
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,944
Those are good.
506
00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:13,949
The sky about 10 minutes
before it starts to rain.
507
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:18,746
The moment
where your laughter
becomes a cackle.
508
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:22,249
And I sit back, and I...
509
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:25,086
I smoke my Camel straights.
510
00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:29,757
And I ride my own melt.
511
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,301
Come on, come on.
No laggin'.
512
00:33:32,386 --> 00:33:34,428
The free clinic AIDS test.
513
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,181
The rite of passage
for our generation.
514
00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:38,933
We're so lucky.
Come on.
515
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:43,145
LELAINA: So, Vick,
why are you
getting tested?
516
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:46,649
One of my friends
tested positive.
517
00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:50,903
Be on the safe side.
You know.
518
00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:57,702
WOMAN: Vickie Miner.
519
00:34:02,332 --> 00:34:03,791
Vickie Miner?
520
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:12,550
You can forget it.
Come on, Grant.
That is incredible.
521
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:14,885
It's junk.
Depressing junk.
522
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:17,805
You know my rules
for Video View,
light and perky.
523
00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:22,351
Look, Lelaina, maybe
I should talk with Grant
alone about this.
524
00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:28,733
Look, she's got
real talent, and I want
to put her on staff.
525
00:34:28,817 --> 00:34:31,277
GRANT:
I will not have
Ms. Pierce on staff.
526
00:34:31,445 --> 00:34:34,321
I will walk out of here
when that happens.
You watch.
527
00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:39,785
Okay, calm down.
I mean, it's no big deal.
We don't have to have her.
528
00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:44,415
Having to look
at that girl's pointy face
all day would make me ill.
529
00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:48,002
Just get rid of her
like I asked you
in the first place.
530
00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:51,088
(INDISTINCT TAPE RECORDING)
531
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:56,594
(WHISPERING)
If I don't know where
to go, I'll get there.
532
00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:59,889
If I don't know
where to go,
I'll get there.
533
00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,640
If I don't know...
534
00:35:07,314 --> 00:35:10,858
Ten seconds.
Nine, eight, seven,
535
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:14,361
six, five, four...
...saves you money!
536
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:16,822
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
537
00:35:17,574 --> 00:35:18,908
(APPLAUSE)
538
00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:26,373
Is this a good morning
or what?
539
00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,626
GRANT: (LAUGHING)
Well,
540
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:32,421
with us today
is Libby Cumba,
author of this book.
541
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,048
(GRANT READING)
542
00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:36,717
Self-esteem for
Parent and Child.
543
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:39,512
Good morning, Libby.
Good morning, Grant.
544
00:35:39,596 --> 00:35:42,181
Good morning.
Now, Libby,
545
00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:44,725
I'm concerned
with self-esteem.
546
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:49,563
Personally, I've always had
an odd preference for
very, very young girls.
547
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:54,485
(STAMMERING)
548
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:58,364
Uh, uh,
being a total prick...
549
00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:04,537
...ly pear, I, uh...
550
00:36:05,956 --> 00:36:08,499
Why don't we welcome
this audience again, huh?
551
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,084
Good morning!
552
00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:14,672
I make
more of a mess
than Ruby does.
553
00:36:14,756 --> 00:36:17,675
You guys,
we have to have
a family meeting.
554
00:36:17,801 --> 00:36:20,344
Something's happened.
Oh, no! They've
discovered NutraSweet
555
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,221
causes you to
grow a third eye.
Oh, Jesus!
556
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:25,599
Everything's
gonna be fine.
Just wear a patch.
557
00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:29,895
Working out a plan.
There's a surgeon in Paris
who'll just remove it...
558
00:36:30,063 --> 00:36:32,731
Just don't panic.
It's not contagious.
559
00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:36,151
Would you shut up?
I just got fired.
(GASPS)
560
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:39,446
Yeah.
Oh, my god.
What happened?
561
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,490
SAMMY:
You got fired?
562
00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:45,536
That just screws up
my whole idea of
good and evil and...
563
00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:48,414
It's not like
I had a hysterectomy.
You know, I got fired.
564
00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:50,708
I'll find
something else,
you know?
565
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:54,545
Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
You're hired!
566
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:57,423
I need a part-timer.
You need a job.
567
00:36:57,507 --> 00:37:00,509
That will be so cool!
It's only like $5 an hour,
568
00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:02,052
but it's a
pretty good opportunity.
569
00:37:02,137 --> 00:37:04,430
Yeah, it's a
dream come true.
It is!
570
00:37:04,514 --> 00:37:07,391
You know, Vick,
I'm working out a plan.
571
00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:11,562
Yeah? So what's the plan?
I'm not gonna work at
The Gap, for Christ's sake.
572
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:12,771
Okay?
573
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:18,819
No. I mean...
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
574
00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:22,489
Oh, how stupid of me
to try to drag you
down to my level.
575
00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:25,826
Vickie, you...
Don't do this, okay?
Shut up.
576
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:29,496
Come on. This is just...
You know I didn't mean it.
577
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:30,998
Vickie!
578
00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:36,128
(MUSIC PLAYING)
579
00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:42,259
Burn, baby, burn
580
00:37:43,678 --> 00:37:46,889
Burn, baby, burn
Disco inferno
581
00:37:46,973 --> 00:37:52,686
Burn, baby, burn
Burn that mother down, y'all
Burn, baby, burn
582
00:37:54,356 --> 00:37:57,775
You see, this is where Troy
was fired from his 11 th job.
583
00:37:58,109 --> 00:37:59,735
He was an illustrious
office cleaner.
584
00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:02,696
(LAUGHING)
Now if you'll come
this way, please,
585
00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:07,368
we will continue our short
but happy walking tour of
the career of Troy Dyer.
586
00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:10,871
And here we have
the newsstand,
587
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:13,707
where Troy dared
to ask the question,
588
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,210
"Are employee snacks
subsidized?"
589
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:19,213
The answer,
tragically, "No."
590
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:22,299
In total,
he has been fired
591
00:38:22,384 --> 00:38:25,177
from, yes, count them,
12 jobs.
Twelve?
592
00:38:26,096 --> 00:38:28,180
Ouch.
So you shouldn't
feel so bad.
593
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,016
One of these mornings
I'm gonna wake up
before noon...
594
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:35,229
(LAUGHING)
Yeah, right.
...I'm gonna turn on the TV,
595
00:38:36,690 --> 00:38:38,273
and there Bryant Gumbel
will be, and he'll say,
596
00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:40,234
"Today we have with us
597
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:44,154
"the Pulitzer Prize-winning
documentarian Lelaina Pierce.
598
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,325
"Lelaina, after
your first film,
Why Barbie is Bad,
599
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,245
(LAUGHING)
"you seemed to have forgotten
600
00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:53,747
"all about your best friend,
Troy Dyer."
601
00:38:54,416 --> 00:38:57,042
Troy who?
What was that name again?
602
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,753
Oh!
Right through the heart.
603
00:39:00,422 --> 00:39:02,756
I'll probably be working
at the Whole Foods,
604
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:05,342
you know, playing warehouses,
hanging around places
like the Radio Shack,
605
00:39:05,427 --> 00:39:08,554
screaming that
I used to know you,
and you'll be there
606
00:39:08,722 --> 00:39:10,931
in the lights,
and you'll be all
beautiful and shit.
607
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:14,268
Oh, Troy, no, no.
That'll never happen.
608
00:39:14,728 --> 00:39:18,188
They would never
hire you at Whole Foods.
(LAUGHING)
609
00:39:19,441 --> 00:39:22,067
You see, Laney,
this is all we need,
610
00:39:23,028 --> 00:39:25,529
a couple of smokes,
a cup of coffee
611
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,700
and a little bit
of conversation.
612
00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:33,287
You and me
and five bucks.
You got it.
613
00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,749
You know what?
Hmm?
614
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:45,883
No, no. No.
What?
615
00:39:46,176 --> 00:39:49,178
Troy, I can't. I can't.
Why not?
You never thought about it?
616
00:39:49,512 --> 00:39:52,639
Well, yes, of course
I have, but I...
But what?
617
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:54,892
I can't not be friends
with you, okay?
618
00:39:54,976 --> 00:39:58,270
I don't want that. That's
not what I'm talkin' about.
I'm talkin' about a...
619
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:02,357
You know, evolving.
I just can't handle
this right now.
620
00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:05,944
I can't evolve
right now.
Why not?
621
00:40:06,488 --> 00:40:08,363
Because of Michael?
No!
622
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:12,743
Yeah. Yes, yes.
623
00:40:25,340 --> 00:40:27,341
My parents got divorced
when I was 14.
624
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:29,843
My dad, my dad,
625
00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:33,680
he remarried six months
after the divorce.
626
00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:37,684
VICKIE: That's quick.
How did everybody react?
Um...
627
00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,938
My mom threatened
to kill herself
in front of me.
628
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:45,025
Patty got drunk in
her closet every morning
before junior high school.
629
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,070
And you?
Well, I, um...
630
00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:52,908
Somebody had to remember
to take out the trash,
631
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:55,244
sign the report cards,
buy the milk,
632
00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:59,289
so, um, that kind of
ended up being me.
633
00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:03,335
I don't want to get married,
'cause I see
how my parents are,
634
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:06,672
and they've been together
like, um, 26 years,
635
00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,299
and they're like
brother and sister
at this point.
636
00:41:09,384 --> 00:41:12,553
My mother goes
to the bathroom
with the door open.
637
00:41:12,929 --> 00:41:16,181
That's "A."
And "B," it's disgusting.
638
00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:18,976
I don't want
any part of that.
I want first kisses.
639
00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:21,395
I want passion
the whole way through.
640
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:25,774
It's better than havin'
to kiss your husband's ass
all the time.
641
00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:27,401
Yeah.
642
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:32,239
I think that your
documentary would be
perfect for In Your Face.
643
00:41:33,533 --> 00:41:35,325
Forget it.
You're probably thinking...
No!
644
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:39,496
...more like, you know,
PBS or something.
No! No.
645
00:41:39,581 --> 00:41:43,250
I... You know
what it is, though?
It's that I...
646
00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:48,255
Boy, okay. When I
made this thing, I kind of
made this promise to myself
647
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,549
that I wasn't gonna think
about where it was gonna
648
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,676
end up,
'cause I didn't wanna
649
00:41:52,927 --> 00:41:55,304
unintentionally
commercialize it.
650
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,849
I think that's great.
I think you should
definitely not
651
00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:01,935
unintentionally do
anything that you're
not comfortable with.
652
00:42:02,061 --> 00:42:05,856
I mean, not that I
would intentionally...
Well, plus, it's not done yet.
653
00:42:05,940 --> 00:42:08,525
Right. I know.
It was just a stupid...
654
00:42:08,610 --> 00:42:11,236
You know, I gotta go
to New York on Wednesday
655
00:42:11,321 --> 00:42:14,198
for this huge
network meeting thing,
656
00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:16,950
which is totally...
God, you would hate it.
657
00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:21,371
I hate it.
I just thought that they would
freak out over your tapes,
658
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:23,749
'cause they never see anything
that's really smart
659
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:26,752
and has real,
you know, quality
660
00:42:26,836 --> 00:42:30,422
and is good,
like you and your work,
661
00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:33,675
and I know
I'm being selfish.
662
00:42:34,636 --> 00:42:36,637
Michael? Um,
663
00:42:37,639 --> 00:42:41,350
that is literally,
literally,
664
00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:44,811
the nicest thing
that anyone's
ever said to me.
665
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:49,233
The sweetest thing
that anyone's
ever said to me.
666
00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:59,868
So what are you doing for
the rest of your morning?
667
00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:02,996
Well, um...
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
668
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,375
Oh, well, I have
a job interview.
669
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:09,920
Lelaina, this thing
is from 1988.
I know.
670
00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:13,340
So you're, like,
six years late.
671
00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:25,394
I thought the ad said
that this was a job
for a production assistant.
672
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:29,147
Yes, you will be
assisting me
673
00:43:29,899 --> 00:43:33,360
in the production
of videotapes,
all right?
674
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:36,697
You're gonna make
copies for me.
Many copies.
675
00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:42,911
Oh, is this like a...
Like a pirate operation?
676
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:46,581
Do I look like
a pirate to you?
677
00:43:48,918 --> 00:43:51,169
Radio is all instinct,
Lelaina.
678
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,755
Do you know where
all radio comes from?
679
00:43:54,007 --> 00:43:56,216
The gut.
It's all in the gut.
680
00:43:57,010 --> 00:43:59,386
'Cause when you
think on your feet,
gotta go from your gut,
681
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:02,556
and my gut is
telling me that, uh,
682
00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:06,810
this isn't gonna work out.
Maybe your gut's just
saying you're hungry or...
683
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:09,813
Oh, no, no, no.
It's telling me
that, uh,
684
00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:13,191
you're overqualified
for this job.
685
00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:15,694
I'm really not that smart.
686
00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:21,116
No offense, sweetie, but you
don't have any experience
on a newspaper.
687
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:22,326
You're TV.
688
00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:25,829
I'm trying to
make my transition
to print journalism.
689
00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:31,043
Ah. Why?
Well, newspapers are the last
watchdogs of our government.
690
00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:34,379
They enforce the checks
and balances, and a half hour
of TV only adds up to one...
691
00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:38,175
Okay. All right.
Define "irony."
692
00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:41,762
Irony, uh... Irony.
693
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:47,184
It's a noun.
It's, uh, when
something is ironic.
694
00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:52,272
Well, I can't, uh,
really define irony,
but I know when I see it.
695
00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:17,172
Hey. Hey.
696
00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:22,010
Oh, my God. I've never been
so glad to see anyone
in my entire life.
697
00:45:22,261 --> 00:45:25,806
This day has been
the biggest nightmare.
These job interviews, Troy?
698
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:29,184
The word "vivisection,"
a staggering understatement.
699
00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:31,728
I mean,
can you define "irony"?
700
00:45:31,813 --> 00:45:35,399
It's when the actual meaning
is the complete opposite
from the literal meaning.
701
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:39,236
Oh, my God.
702
00:45:40,071 --> 00:45:44,825
Where were you when
I needed you today?
Uh, I should go.
703
00:45:45,118 --> 00:45:50,622
Oh, come on. Isn't there
some statute of limitations
for embarrassing incidents?
704
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:55,669
Your bravado
is embarrassing.
705
00:45:59,132 --> 00:46:01,007
Hey, Troy.
706
00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:04,052
Come on.
You can stay with me
for one cigarette.
707
00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:06,805
I know you can
stay with me
for one cigarette.
708
00:46:07,140 --> 00:46:09,850
You and me?
Five bucks?
Good conversation?
709
00:46:10,852 --> 00:46:12,018
Right?
710
00:46:14,188 --> 00:46:15,355
Laney.
711
00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:20,402
Troy, you haven't been
home in four days.
712
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,904
Where have you
been sleepin'?
713
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:27,576
I gotta go.
714
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,917
(CLOCK TICKING)
Mom, I need to
715
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:37,961
talk to you
about a loan.
716
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:45,385
Is it for drugs?
717
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:52,184
No. No, it's not for drugs.
I was... I lost my job.
718
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:57,147
But you shouldn't have
any trouble findin'
another job, sugar booger.
719
00:46:57,231 --> 00:47:01,818
No, see, I tried. I applied
for every single opening
in my field, but there's...
720
00:47:01,903 --> 00:47:04,571
There's nothing right now.
721
00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:09,075
Mmm, well.
I hate to say it,
722
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,369
but times are hard.
723
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:14,748
You're just gonna
have to swallow
your pride.
724
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:18,376
Why don't you get
a job at Burgerama?
They'll hire you.
725
00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:20,378
My Lord,
I saw on TV
726
00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:24,174
they had this little
retarded boy workin'
the cash register.
727
00:47:24,759 --> 00:47:27,052
Because I'm not retarded,
Mom.
728
00:47:28,262 --> 00:47:30,639
I was valedictorian
of my university.
729
00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:35,101
Well, you don't
have to put that down
on your application.
730
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:37,145
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
731
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:47,322
Ms. Pierce, do you have
any idea what it means to be
a cashier at Wienerschnitzel?
732
00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:51,576
Yeah, it's taking orders
and making change and, uh,
733
00:47:51,911 --> 00:47:54,621
taking...
No. It's a juggling act.
734
00:47:55,498 --> 00:47:58,542
A juggling act.
You mean, like,
metaphorically?
735
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:02,254
No. I mean you got people
comin' at you from the front,
736
00:48:02,421 --> 00:48:06,758
comin' at you from the back,
from the sides, people
at the condiment exchange,
737
00:48:06,926 --> 00:48:09,761
people at the drive-thru,
kids on bikes,
738
00:48:09,929 --> 00:48:12,889
and they're all
depending on who?
Me?
739
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:16,601
Yeah. You got time to lean,
you got time to clean, buddy.
740
00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:20,855
You gotta be 150%
on your toes,
150% of the time.
741
00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:25,777
There you go, sir,
and have a 'tude, Wienerdude.
All righty.
742
00:48:26,404 --> 00:48:28,947
Okay, I'm gonna throw
a few numbers out at you.
743
00:48:29,031 --> 00:48:31,575
You put 'em together
in your head
as quick as you can.
744
00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:34,744
Okay.
85 and 45. Go.
745
00:48:35,538 --> 00:48:37,414
140.
Nope.
746
00:48:37,582 --> 00:48:39,708
150.
Nope.
747
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,210
160.
It's not an auction.
748
00:48:43,129 --> 00:48:46,548
Ms. Pierce,
there's a reason I've
been here six months.
749
00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:07,944
...for the entire summertime
occurring in one day.
750
00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:10,447
Then last night we had
snow reports in Utah.
751
00:49:10,615 --> 00:49:12,824
Today reports of I-70
shut due to the snowfall.
752
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:14,701
Now that very strong
jet stream...
753
00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:18,455
Royalton Hotel.
Is this
the Royalton Hotel?
754
00:49:18,539 --> 00:49:20,999
That's what I said.
Sorry.
I didn't hear you.
755
00:49:21,792 --> 00:49:24,294
I'm looking for a guest there.
His name's Michael Grates?
756
00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:25,712
Hold one moment,
please.
757
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,882
(AUDIENCE CHEERING,
APPLAUDING)
758
00:49:29,050 --> 00:49:31,885
OPERATOR: That guest
is out. Would you like
to leave a message?
759
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:35,388
Oh, no, that's okay.
I'll just try again later.
Thanks.
760
00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:40,310
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
761
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:45,398
Hi, I'm Cheryl Goode,
and welcome to Wedgie,
The World of Hip Couture.
762
00:49:45,775 --> 00:49:47,942
This week we're in
South Central Los Angeles
763
00:49:48,027 --> 00:49:52,238
at the intersection
of Florence and Normandie,
the flash point of fashion.
764
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:55,033
The faddest gangsta trend
will increase your piece.
765
00:49:55,201 --> 00:50:00,580
This bandana by Donna Karan is
blue for Crips, red for Bloods
and only costs $75.
766
00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:02,999
Ooh, hit me hoppin'
in a lifelike limbo
767
00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:05,335
Lookin' out of
a smudged-up window
768
00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:07,504
We're not sure where
our lives are goin'
769
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:09,589
Crazy sucker outside
begins a slow leak
770
00:50:09,674 --> 00:50:11,675
Don't know where our next
dollar's comin' from
771
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:13,760
Livin' the life
of a poor musician
772
00:50:14,095 --> 00:50:17,806
Hairline's gone so he
keeps his nine-to-five
Grubby, grubby...
773
00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:19,974
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)
774
00:50:30,695 --> 00:50:32,904
Laney, have you seen
a pack of guitar strings?
775
00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:36,032
I have to bring them
to the club.
I hope he knows
776
00:50:36,117 --> 00:50:39,160
that he still has to pay
some rent around here.
777
00:50:41,539 --> 00:50:45,291
I don't know where he thinks
he's spending his nights,
but...
778
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,419
Do you know?
779
00:50:49,839 --> 00:50:53,091
I'm late for
a jean-folding seminar.
Let's locomote.
780
00:50:59,682 --> 00:51:03,852
Now you can call your own
personal psychic anytime,
24 hours a day.
781
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:06,980
Thanks to the nationwide
Psychic Discovery network,
782
00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:10,817
you can pick up the phone
and talk directly with
a professional psychic
783
00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,569
in the privacy
of your own home.
784
00:51:12,653 --> 00:51:17,031
I was unhappy in my career,
and I needed a change, but
I didn't know what to do.
785
00:51:17,658 --> 00:51:20,034
I called the Psychic Discovery
Network...
Nothing is going down
786
00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:22,662
according to plan.
WOMAN: (ON PHONE)
Mm-hmm.
787
00:51:22,747 --> 00:51:24,664
I mean, my best friend?
788
00:51:25,166 --> 00:51:27,834
I feel like I've
lost him forever,
789
00:51:28,461 --> 00:51:31,337
and he was, like,
my touchstone, you know?
790
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:35,258
WOMAN:
This man, does his name
start with the letter "N"?
791
00:51:35,342 --> 00:51:39,262
Because I'm getting
a very strong
"N" vibration.
792
00:51:40,306 --> 00:51:44,017
Newsstand! "N," newsstand.
He used to work
at a newsstand.
793
00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:47,771
Uh-huh.
Oh, God, this is unbelievable.
794
00:51:47,855 --> 00:51:50,356
Honey, that's
not all I'm getting.
795
00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:53,359
I mean, there are people
I know from high school,
796
00:51:53,444 --> 00:51:56,446
who are already married
and having babies.
797
00:51:57,156 --> 00:52:00,158
(LAUGHING)
I mean, babies, okay?
798
00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:02,702
I can't even take care
of a Chia Pet.
799
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:06,080
Honey,
I didn't have kids until
I was on my third husband.
800
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,792
Oh, really?
All Geminis.
801
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:13,338
You know what I think,
Denell?
802
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:17,008
I think you still
really love Monte.
803
00:52:17,092 --> 00:52:20,220
Yeah, you're probably right,
but it don't matter now.
804
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:22,263
Oh, yes, it does, Denell.
805
00:52:22,431 --> 00:52:24,265
I know you're afraid,
806
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:29,312
but you gotta find him,
and you've gotta tell him
how you really feel.
807
00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:31,940
Find him?
I've got five...
808
00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:36,069
Lelaina, we need
to talk to you.
809
00:52:39,406 --> 00:52:41,741
Hold on, Denell.
Mmm. Hold on.
810
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:43,743
I'm on the phone.
Yeah.
811
00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:47,872
I can see that.
And we have a
$406 phone bill,
812
00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:51,501
mainly due to some calls
to a 1-900 number.
813
00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:54,420
Lelaina, I'm sensing
you're in some trouble.
814
00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:56,297
We'd help you out,
but we're broke, too,
815
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:59,759
and we can't afford
a new deposit if
the phone gets shut off.
816
00:53:00,636 --> 00:53:02,053
(WHISPERING)
817
00:53:03,264 --> 00:53:05,974
Maybe you could, uh,
borrow the money
from Michael.
818
00:53:06,267 --> 00:53:08,977
Ohh, no, Sammy.
Jesus.
819
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:13,273
Laney, what are you doing?
You lay on that couch all day.
820
00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:17,318
Those pajamas are like
a uniform. You run up
a $400 phone bill.
821
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:21,114
You watch TV.
You chain smoke.
You don't go outside.
822
00:53:21,448 --> 00:53:23,700
Man, you are in the bell jar.
823
00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:27,996
Look, this is
my apartment.
824
00:53:28,289 --> 00:53:32,625
I signed the lease.
I let you move in here
when you had no job,
825
00:53:32,793 --> 00:53:36,504
no money, and you sponged
off me for two months.
Yeah. Sponged?
826
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:39,340
And now
Miss Big Power Monger goes,
"I'm manager of The Gap."
827
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:43,636
You think you can just come
in here and push me around?
She's not bein' pushy.
828
00:53:43,804 --> 00:53:46,973
Sammy, what are you
even doing here?
You don't live here.
829
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:52,478
Hey, my little unemployed
waif, you're the one who's
lookin' for work now, okay?
830
00:53:53,314 --> 00:53:55,607
You're really enjoying this,
aren't you?
831
00:53:55,691 --> 00:53:59,944
You're high. Why don't you
go take a walk outside and
get some fresh air?
832
00:54:01,030 --> 00:54:03,531
You've been waiting for this
since the day we met.
833
00:54:03,616 --> 00:54:06,034
Who told you that?
Your psychic partner?
834
00:54:10,331 --> 00:54:13,791
I'll tell you the problem
with your generation.
You don't have any work ethic.
835
00:54:14,126 --> 00:54:16,210
Take your friend, Troy,
for example.
836
00:54:16,295 --> 00:54:21,049
I went out of my way to
set up an interview for him
and he didn't even show up.
837
00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:25,720
That wasn't his fault.
He asked me to call
and cancel.
838
00:54:25,971 --> 00:54:29,098
Everything was going on
and it slipped my mind.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
839
00:54:29,224 --> 00:54:33,269
I'm sorry. But I have
a work ethic, Dad.
Good. Good.
840
00:54:33,562 --> 00:54:38,441
Ask anyone.
All you got to do
is show some ingenuity, hmm?
841
00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:40,944
Darlin', I love you
and I hate to
break your plate,
842
00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:42,862
but you gotta
grow up sometime.
843
00:54:42,947 --> 00:54:46,574
Now, I want you to
go out there
and show me some ingenuity.
844
00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:55,208
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
845
00:54:57,586 --> 00:54:59,212
Ow-w-w
846
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,510
Let me talk with you,
my baby
847
00:55:05,636 --> 00:55:07,637
It is fair to say
that maybe
848
00:55:07,721 --> 00:55:13,768
It is time for you to say
we need to share
a point of view
849
00:55:13,936 --> 00:55:17,647
Livin' in the never never
Droppin' out of it together
850
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:22,193
I could spend some time
forever with a girl like you
851
00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:25,405
Let me hear you say yeah
Let's go
852
00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:27,824
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
853
00:55:27,992 --> 00:55:33,246
You want to turn it in
Turn it into heaven, yeah
854
00:55:33,414 --> 00:55:37,917
Let's go
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
855
00:55:38,085 --> 00:55:42,088
You want to turn it in
Turn it into heaven
856
00:55:42,256 --> 00:55:45,925
Right here on earth
(HORN HONKING,
TIRES SCREECHING)
857
00:55:46,093 --> 00:55:48,803
Lookin' for tomorrow
858
00:55:50,973 --> 00:55:53,433
Can you see us one day
859
00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:58,730
Beg or steal or borrow
860
00:56:00,983 --> 00:56:03,276
We could live forever
861
00:56:06,447 --> 00:56:08,448
Never to say never
862
00:56:09,158 --> 00:56:13,786
You will be for me
I will fight for you, yeah
863
00:56:13,954 --> 00:56:17,749
Let's go
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
864
00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:23,629
You want to turn it in
Turn it into heaven, yeah
865
00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,969
Well, that solves
our first problem.
Rent's due this week.
866
00:56:30,471 --> 00:56:32,013
(SIGHING)
867
00:56:34,141 --> 00:56:38,644
Well, well.
Look who finally decided
to grace us with his...
868
00:56:40,773 --> 00:56:41,814
Presence.
869
00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:45,193
This is, uh...
This is, uh, Jean.
Janine.
870
00:56:46,570 --> 00:56:48,571
Uh, Janine, Janine.
It was...
871
00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:50,448
(CHUCKLES)
It was a little loud
in the club.
872
00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:51,908
Excuse me.
873
00:56:53,494 --> 00:56:56,996
Can't stay here, Troy.
I'm just gonna
pick something up.
874
00:56:57,372 --> 00:57:01,834
Well, mission accomplished.
Now leave.
875
00:57:02,169 --> 00:57:03,419
I think maybe
I'm gonna wait...
876
00:57:03,504 --> 00:57:06,672
Always the mistress
of etiquette,
you know, Laney?
877
00:57:07,508 --> 00:57:10,718
Why are you suddenly acting
like a jealous girlfriend?
878
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:14,847
We're just trying to pay
bills here. So, Troy,
if you got any money...
879
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:18,601
Money?
Oh, but what's money
to an artist?
880
00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:20,895
To a philosopher?
It's just, uh,
881
00:57:21,146 --> 00:57:24,774
green-colored paper
that floats in and out
of his life like snow.
882
00:57:24,858 --> 00:57:27,902
It's nothing you actually
have to, I don't know,
work for, is it, Troy?
883
00:57:28,070 --> 00:57:31,531
Not if you have
Daddy's little gas card.
You shut up!
884
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:36,702
You shut up! I busted my ass
to find a job. You don't
even show up for interviews.
885
00:57:36,912 --> 00:57:39,872
What is it that you want
from me? You want me to
get a job on the line,
886
00:57:39,998 --> 00:57:44,293
until I'm granted leave
with my gold-plated watch
and my balls full of tumors,
887
00:57:44,378 --> 00:57:46,796
'cause I surrendered the one
thing that means shit to me?
888
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:50,716
You can exhale,
'cause it's not gonna happen
in this lifetime.
889
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:56,180
All right, fine.
You don't want to work? Fine.
Laney, goddamn it!
890
00:57:56,265 --> 00:58:00,810
Be in a goddamn band!
Rehearse every day!
Play three times a night!
891
00:58:00,978 --> 00:58:05,064
Don't just dick around
the same coffeehouse
for five years.
892
00:58:05,232 --> 00:58:08,025
Don't dick around with her.
Or with me.
893
00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:12,029
Try at something for once
in your life. Do something
about it. But you know what?
894
00:58:12,114 --> 00:58:14,824
You better do it now
and better do it fast,
895
00:58:14,908 --> 00:58:16,909
because the world
doesn't owe you any favors.
896
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:18,161
And whether
you know it or not,
897
00:58:18,245 --> 00:58:20,705
you're on the inside track
to Loserville, USA,
898
00:58:21,373 --> 00:58:22,915
just like him.
899
00:58:33,302 --> 00:58:36,179
Okay, it's just
too psychotic
in here now.
900
00:58:36,305 --> 00:58:39,557
Lelaina,
let's go for a walk.
Fine.
901
00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:43,686
SAMMY:
Come on, man,
let 'em go.
902
00:58:47,149 --> 00:58:49,901
With pleasure, my friends,
with pleasure.
903
00:58:50,652 --> 00:58:53,613
"With pleasure."
I really feel sorry
for that poor girl.
904
00:58:53,739 --> 00:58:56,782
How about when he sneaks
his laundry in with ours?
(STOMPS)
905
00:58:56,909 --> 00:59:01,287
I'm pullin' stuff out of the
dryer and there's five pairs
of his boxers I've washed.
906
00:59:01,622 --> 00:59:05,041
I'll just throw it back
in his face. I'm gonna
do his laundry. Yeah!
907
00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:09,879
He's weird, he's strange,
he's sloppy, he's a total
nightmare for women.
908
00:59:09,963 --> 00:59:12,965
I can't believe
I haven't slept with him yet.
909
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:16,385
Do you ever wish
you were a lesbian?
(CHUCKLES)
910
00:59:16,637 --> 00:59:19,305
Don't you think
it would be so much easier?
911
00:59:21,141 --> 00:59:25,436
Sometimes. But, aah,
I couldn't go through with it.
912
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,855
I'd start laughing
or something.
913
00:59:29,274 --> 00:59:32,652
It's such a shame.
I am so through with men.
914
00:59:33,278 --> 00:59:36,822
If one more guy walks out
on me, I don't even know what.
I swear.
915
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,952
What are you talking about?
Walk out on you?
You walk out on them.
916
00:59:41,161 --> 00:59:44,330
I've seen you.
You're out the door
before the condom comes off.
917
00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:47,750
Listen to me, I'm just
beating them to the punch.
918
00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:49,252
Okay.
919
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:54,632
You don't even know.
I'm sitting here
920
00:59:55,342 --> 00:59:59,762
maybe...
Probably dying of AIDS.
921
01:00:06,895 --> 01:00:08,896
And I am totally alone.
922
01:00:14,361 --> 01:00:15,569
Vickie.
923
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:21,242
You're not alone.
924
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:26,706
Hey. Look, I'm sorry
for everything I said.
925
01:00:27,124 --> 01:00:29,709
And I'm sorry
for being such a bitch,
926
01:00:30,419 --> 01:00:33,212
but I have to tell you
you're not alone.
927
01:00:33,505 --> 01:00:36,173
You're not. And you're
not dying of AIDS.
928
01:00:36,550 --> 01:00:41,470
You don't understand.
Every day, all day, it's all
that I think about, okay?
929
01:00:41,763 --> 01:00:46,058
Every time I sneeze,
it's like I'm four sneezes
away from the hospice.
930
01:00:46,143 --> 01:00:51,397
It's not even happening to me.
It's like I'm watching it
on Melrose Place.
931
01:00:51,523 --> 01:00:55,276
And I'm the new character.
The HIV-AIDS character
and I live in the building.
932
01:00:55,402 --> 01:00:58,738
I teach everybody
it's okay to be near me,
it's okay to talk to me.
933
01:00:59,072 --> 01:01:00,656
And then I die.
934
01:01:01,033 --> 01:01:03,993
There's everybody
at my funeral wearing
halter tops and chokers
935
01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:06,078
or some shit like that.
936
01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:09,040
(LAUGHING)
Vickie, stop, okay?
Just stop.
937
01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:13,294
You're freaking out. And you
know what? You're gonna
have to deal with the results.
938
01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:16,964
We're gonna have to deal
with them just like we've
dealt with everything else.
939
01:01:17,049 --> 01:01:19,175
This isn't like
everything else.
I know that.
940
01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:22,762
All right?
But it's gonna be okay.
941
01:01:23,263 --> 01:01:25,765
You know?
I know it's gonna be okay.
942
01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:32,938
Melrose Place is
a really good show.
943
01:01:37,110 --> 01:01:38,569
(LAUGHING)
944
01:01:41,782 --> 01:01:43,949
WOMAN OVER PA:
Lelaina Pierce.
945
01:01:45,452 --> 01:01:48,162
Is there
a Lelaina Pierce here?
946
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:54,794
Yeah.
(LAUGHING)
947
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:00,966
Hello.
MICHAEL:
Lelaina?
948
01:02:01,009 --> 01:02:03,969
(CHUCKLING)
Hi!
I had to call you right away.
949
01:02:04,096 --> 01:02:06,263
Listen,
don't kill me, okay?
What? What?
950
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,308
I took the tape
and I showed it.
No!
951
01:02:10,018 --> 01:02:14,021
Wait, wait. Listen.
They freaked out.
They want to buy them.
952
01:02:14,272 --> 01:02:15,815
No.
Yes!
953
01:02:16,817 --> 01:02:20,319
They liked it?
No, they like
psychotically loved it.
954
01:02:20,404 --> 01:02:22,863
They wanna
pay you for it.
(LAUGHS)
955
01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:25,449
I know this isn't PBS,
but is this okay?
Yes!
956
01:02:25,534 --> 01:02:29,412
I was this close to selling
fruit at intersections!
Well, don't, all right?
957
01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:33,624
Just hang on. I'm gonna
get you some money. I'm gonna
be down there in a few days.
958
01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:37,586
I'm thinkin' about you
every second. Hello?
(INDISTINCT MALE VOICE)
959
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:40,714
Hello! Hello, hello!
Hello? Can you hear me now?
960
01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:44,009
Where are you?
I'm in a phone booth.
961
01:02:44,428 --> 01:02:46,512
Why are you
on a cellular phone?
962
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:48,848
I don't know. I have no idea.
963
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:52,268
Michael, Michael, Michael!
I really miss you!
964
01:02:52,436 --> 01:02:54,687
I really miss you, too.
I love you. I...
Oh, whoa!
965
01:02:55,188 --> 01:02:57,773
I mean, I mean,
you amaze me!
966
01:02:57,858 --> 01:03:01,277
No, you amaze me!
(INDISTINCT VOICE RETURNS)
967
01:03:01,445 --> 01:03:04,738
Hello, can you hear me?
No, Michael, I'm losing you.
968
01:03:05,532 --> 01:03:07,783
I'm gonna call you back.
Wait. What?
969
01:03:07,868 --> 01:03:09,743
(CLICKING, DIAL TONE)
970
01:03:12,456 --> 01:03:15,332
Pay phone outside
always amazes me.
971
01:03:17,002 --> 01:03:18,043
Hey.
972
01:03:19,588 --> 01:03:21,255
Try me. I'm free.
973
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:25,509
(CHUCKLING)
Good mag, good mag.
974
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:29,847
Negatory.
Yeah!
975
01:03:29,973 --> 01:03:31,765
(LELAINA SCREAMING)
976
01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:35,436
Do ya hear that?
Negative!
Here, let me see that.
977
01:03:37,439 --> 01:03:41,400
SAMMY: Hey, hey!
All righty. Whoo!
Thanks for coming.
978
01:03:41,568 --> 01:03:46,405
A celebration zoom.
Let's get some ice cream.
Okay, enough.
979
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:48,574
Ma!
I'm right here, son.
980
01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:50,242
Ma.
Yeah?
981
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,455
I have to tell you
something.
982
01:03:55,540 --> 01:03:59,251
(STAMMERING)
I am a homosexual.
983
01:04:01,129 --> 01:04:02,671
Oh, Christ.
984
01:04:04,007 --> 01:04:09,345
Is there a support group
I can join to come to terms
with my own homophobia?
985
01:04:09,513 --> 01:04:14,058
Yes, there is. A group
which is named P-FLAG,
986
01:04:14,226 --> 01:04:18,354
Parents and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays.
987
01:04:19,814 --> 01:04:21,524
Oh. Oh.
988
01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:25,819
P'flag. I'm beginning to
like the sound of that.
989
01:04:28,823 --> 01:04:31,825
What you've just
witnessed here
is a pre-enactment of events
990
01:04:31,910 --> 01:04:34,119
that are about to take place.
991
01:04:36,122 --> 01:04:37,331
Well...
992
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,668
I came out to her.
993
01:04:43,004 --> 01:04:46,465
She's still
a little bit upset.
994
01:04:48,009 --> 01:04:49,468
But you know,
995
01:04:50,887 --> 01:04:54,974
you know, the real reason
that I've been celibate
for so long
996
01:04:55,141 --> 01:04:58,727
isn't really because I'm
that terrified of the big "A."
997
01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:01,480
But because I can't
really start my life
998
01:05:01,565 --> 01:05:03,983
without being honest
about who I am.
999
01:05:04,109 --> 01:05:07,069
And...
(CLICKING,
TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)
1000
01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:10,489
I wanna be in there, too.
I wanna feel miserable
1001
01:05:10,657 --> 01:05:13,659
and happy
and all of that.
1002
01:05:13,827 --> 01:05:16,161
I mean, I...
I wanna...
1003
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,167
I wanna be let back
in the house.
1004
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:32,428
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
1005
01:05:32,637 --> 01:05:33,762
Hello?
1006
01:05:34,973 --> 01:05:36,098
Oh, hi.
1007
01:05:36,725 --> 01:05:39,602
Um, sorry. Just...
1008
01:05:40,020 --> 01:05:42,855
Door was...
So I just, uh...
1009
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,650
Yeah.
She's getting dressed.
1010
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,206
I'll just...
1011
01:06:10,050 --> 01:06:15,012
I don't know if she told you,
I just came back from New York
with the tapes that she made.
1012
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:18,599
And the stuff with you,
that's really great stuff.
1013
01:06:19,059 --> 01:06:23,479
That whole thing about, uh,
nobody can eat all the eggs?
1014
01:06:23,647 --> 01:06:26,398
That was...
That was really...
1015
01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:29,151
I was quoting
Cool Hand Luke.
1016
01:06:30,779 --> 01:06:36,241
Yeah, that's okay.
I mean, that's...
I know. I mean, still, it's...
1017
01:06:37,619 --> 01:06:38,661
Hi.
1018
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,747
Hi.
Hi.
1019
01:06:42,666 --> 01:06:45,209
What happened
to your normal clothes?
1020
01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:48,253
Wow.
Where'd you get that dress?
1021
01:06:49,089 --> 01:06:52,049
Oh, um, I don't know.
I just bought it.
1022
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,259
But I think
I'm gonna change...
1023
01:06:54,386 --> 01:06:56,387
No, don't. You look beautiful.
1024
01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:59,973
You look like...
You look like...
A doily.
1025
01:07:04,104 --> 01:07:06,355
I'm gonna change.
No, don't change.
1026
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,357
And don't go thinkin'
for yourself either, Laney.
1027
01:07:09,484 --> 01:07:12,444
What is your glitch, huh?
My glitch?
1028
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:15,864
You know what?
We're already late.
1029
01:07:15,949 --> 01:07:18,492
No, no.
Hang on a second here.
Ohh!
1030
01:07:18,576 --> 01:07:22,162
Do you have a problem with me
or something? 'Cause if
you do, let's get this out.
1031
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,498
Seriously. Is there like...
I mean, have I like, uh,
1032
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:27,710
stepped over some line
in the sands of coolness
with you?
1033
01:07:27,877 --> 01:07:31,630
Excuse me, if somebody doesn't
know the secret handshake.
Come on, this is...
1034
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:37,386
There's no secret handshake.
There's an IQ prerequisite,
but no secret handshake.
1035
01:07:39,305 --> 01:07:41,515
I... This is...
You, no...
Come on.
1036
01:07:41,641 --> 01:07:45,018
You've got this whole thing
with the world.
This is really...
1037
01:07:45,186 --> 01:07:47,521
That's really wonderful.
This is really stupid.
1038
01:07:47,689 --> 01:07:50,190
But guess what?
I'm a human being.
We're human beings, people.
1039
01:07:50,275 --> 01:07:52,276
You know?
We're not like, uh,
1040
01:07:52,485 --> 01:07:55,738
intelligence, uh,
quotations, or whatever.
Just ignore him.
1041
01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:57,322
No!
Done.
1042
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:03,412
Come on, let's go.
You don't need this.
1043
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:04,913
You don't know
what she needs.
1044
01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:09,835
I think I know what she needs
in a way that you never will.
1045
01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:16,675
Let's go.
1046
01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:22,848
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1047
01:08:23,349 --> 01:08:25,684
Baby, tell me
that my love ain't good
1048
01:08:25,810 --> 01:08:27,811
I don't treat you right
1049
01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:32,900
I don't do you
like I should
Listen, this guy
back here, okay?
1050
01:08:33,151 --> 01:08:35,444
Hi. Hi.
Hi.
1051
01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:39,031
So, ya ready?
Um, what's it like?
1052
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:41,116
It's great.
It's great.
1053
01:08:41,284 --> 01:08:45,454
I haven't actually
seen it yet, but we had
our best guys workin' on it.
1054
01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:49,124
We just put some titles on,
shaped it a little bit.
(CHUCKLES)
1055
01:08:49,209 --> 01:08:51,293
It's gonna be great.
Okay.
1056
01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:53,712
Okay?
Okay. Bye.
1057
01:08:53,797 --> 01:08:55,047
(MUSIC ENDS)
1058
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:58,926
Okay, everybody.
It's a special night.
1059
01:08:59,052 --> 01:09:03,305
'Cause, as you know, we're
entering a new phase here at
the channel: real programming.
1060
01:09:03,389 --> 01:09:08,018
(APPLAUSE)
And our first step is this
remarkable piece by Lelaina.
1061
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:11,396
(APPLAUSE)
1062
01:09:12,649 --> 01:09:15,943
So hang on, 'cause
this is gonna change
the face of In Your Face.
1063
01:09:16,027 --> 01:09:17,945
(LAUGHTER)
(CLICKING)
1064
01:09:19,989 --> 01:09:21,740
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1065
01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:46,598
What's this?
1066
01:09:46,766 --> 01:09:49,101
Uh, it's
transitional stuff.
Ahh.
1067
01:09:50,520 --> 01:09:54,314
La la la
La la la
1068
01:09:55,275 --> 01:10:01,280
The story of my life
1069
01:10:01,531 --> 01:10:04,199
We're finished!
School's out
1070
01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:06,410
Forever
1071
01:10:06,786 --> 01:10:09,872
I am not under any orders
to make the world
a better place.
1072
01:10:09,998 --> 01:10:12,583
School's been blown
And you wonder why
we never got involved.
1073
01:10:12,792 --> 01:10:14,835
To pieces
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
1074
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:17,629
Love can make you weep
1075
01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:20,132
I don't want to get married,
because I see
how my parents are.
1076
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,301
My parents got divorced...
My parents got divorced...
1077
01:10:22,635 --> 01:10:24,261
...when I was 14.
...when I was 5.
1078
01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:27,014
My mother actually
goes to the bathroom
with the door open.
1079
01:10:29,809 --> 01:10:31,518
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
1080
01:10:33,354 --> 01:10:36,815
I swore
I'd never get married.
I want passion.
1081
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:39,401
Let's talk about sex, baby
1082
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:42,613
It turns ya on.
(SCREAMING)
1083
01:10:43,156 --> 01:10:48,201
Would you two just do it
and get it over with?
Oh, my God.
1084
01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:51,288
LELAINA:
But the question remains,
1085
01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:55,334
how can we repair
all the damage we inherited?
1086
01:10:55,460 --> 01:10:59,087
I was told there'd be
no math on this exam.
Can I change my answer?
1087
01:10:59,172 --> 01:11:03,175
The answer is simple.
We're on the road
to nowhere
1088
01:11:03,259 --> 01:11:04,593
Jesus.
1089
01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:06,845
The answer is...
(DIGITAL SKIPPING)
The-The-The-The answer is...
1090
01:11:06,930 --> 01:11:09,056
Pizza!
Pizza.
1091
01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:10,432
Pizza.
1092
01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:15,646
We're on the ride to nowhere
Come take that ride
1093
01:11:17,732 --> 01:11:21,485
Feeling okay
this morning
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
1094
01:11:21,653 --> 01:11:25,864
I... It's, uh...
It's, yeah, right.
1095
01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:32,329
We're on the road
to paradise
Here we go
1096
01:11:32,497 --> 01:11:34,206
Lelaina.
Here we go
1097
01:11:34,374 --> 01:11:41,838
(BELL RINGING)
1098
01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:45,592
Lelaina, look, I'm sorry,
all right? I didn't know.
1099
01:11:45,677 --> 01:11:49,554
That is not my work.
That's not what I did.
I know!
1100
01:11:49,681 --> 01:11:53,558
I trusted you!
I had no idea!
I didn't see it!
1101
01:11:54,060 --> 01:11:56,895
I guess it was a little slow
and they cut it up a little...
1102
01:11:57,063 --> 01:12:00,691
They cut up everything that
meant anything to me!
1103
01:12:00,984 --> 01:12:04,528
I don't even think you
realize what you've done.
You don't get it.
1104
01:12:04,612 --> 01:12:06,363
What?
I do get it!
1105
01:12:06,948 --> 01:12:10,659
You have this great piece
of work, and we have
this audience, these kids.
1106
01:12:10,743 --> 01:12:13,912
It's like trying
to feed them meat loaf
and they don't want to eat it.
1107
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,748
So you gotta give them,
"Here comes the plane!"
Meat loaf?
1108
01:12:16,916 --> 01:12:20,752
"Open up the hangar!"
But it's still meat loaf.
It was never meat loaf!
1109
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:24,715
That's a bad...
I'm sorry. They were just
trying to market it.
1110
01:12:24,799 --> 01:12:27,634
I wish I could
be perfect, okay?
I wish I could be like Troy,
1111
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:31,680
riding on his melted cheese
sandwich and everything...
Don't bring Troy into this.
1112
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:36,268
I wish I could live off
of creeds and mottos
and all that shit.
1113
01:12:36,477 --> 01:12:40,230
But I'm in the real world
and I have ideals also.
1114
01:12:41,024 --> 01:12:43,108
(STAMMERING)
They're that I...
1115
01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:47,112
(SIGHS) I care about you
and I want to
make you happy...
1116
01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:52,075
I just... Look.
1117
01:12:55,079 --> 01:12:58,373
I... I'll make them take
the pizza thing out, okay?
1118
01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:05,505
(SINGING) I'm just a bill
1119
01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:08,300
Yes, I'm only a bill
1120
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:13,972
And I'm sittin' here
on Capitol Hill
1121
01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:19,519
Well, it's a long,
long journey to...
1122
01:13:19,771 --> 01:13:22,689
(DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)
1123
01:13:26,986 --> 01:13:29,321
How'd the big premiere
turn out?
1124
01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:32,949
Fine.
1125
01:13:38,372 --> 01:13:40,165
(SIGHS)
1126
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:43,001
They're just
videotapes, right?
1127
01:13:45,171 --> 01:13:46,505
Who cares?
1128
01:13:50,134 --> 01:13:54,513
It's... I worked so hard
on them, you know?
1129
01:13:57,183 --> 01:13:59,267
It's just,
I worked so hard.
1130
01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:04,606
Ah, forget it.
I just sound pathetic.
No, you don't.
1131
01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:07,484
You don't sound pathetic.
(SIGHS)
1132
01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:12,280
I know it sounds stupid,
but it really meant
something to me.
1133
01:14:14,367 --> 01:14:20,497
I know it wasn't gonna
end world hunger
or save the planet,
1134
01:14:20,581 --> 01:14:23,667
but it just meant
something to me.
1135
01:14:23,751 --> 01:14:25,127
(SIGHING)
1136
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:28,839
I just don't
1137
01:14:31,634 --> 01:14:34,845
understand why things just
can't go back to normal
1138
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:39,599
at the end of the half hour,
like on The Brady Bunch,
or something.
1139
01:14:42,186 --> 01:14:44,688
Well, 'cause Mr. Brady
died of AIDS.
1140
01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:51,153
Things don't work out
like that.
1141
01:14:53,614 --> 01:14:57,284
I was really gonna be
something by the age of 23.
1142
01:14:59,871 --> 01:15:04,916
Honey, all you have to be
by the age of 23 is yourself.
1143
01:15:09,547 --> 01:15:11,923
I don't know
who that is anymore.
1144
01:15:13,384 --> 01:15:14,759
Well, I do.
1145
01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:19,723
(STAMMERING)
And we all love her.
I love her.
1146
01:15:21,184 --> 01:15:22,309
Uh...
1147
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:27,689
She breaks my heart
again and again, but, uh,
1148
01:15:29,984 --> 01:15:31,359
I love her.
1149
01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:22,285
(SIGHING, PANTING)
1150
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,423
I've wanted you like this
for all these years.
1151
01:16:37,176 --> 01:16:38,593
So have I.
1152
01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:20,552
Hey.
Hi.
1153
01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:24,597
(CHUCKLES)
Where are you going?
I have rehearsal.
1154
01:17:26,809 --> 01:17:29,936
At 8:24
in the morning?
1155
01:17:30,104 --> 01:17:31,771
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1156
01:17:37,069 --> 01:17:38,862
So that's it?
No.
1157
01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:42,407
No, that's not it.
I just... I, uh...
1158
01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:43,992
I have to go.
1159
01:17:55,004 --> 01:17:57,005
(ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING)
1160
01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:05,096
Got a pothead mama
Got a cokehead dad
1161
01:18:08,768 --> 01:18:13,605
I'm the ultramodern version
The American man
1162
01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:21,613
I don't feel good
But I don't feel bad
1163
01:18:23,074 --> 01:18:26,034
'Cause me, you see
I'm nothin'
1164
01:18:32,416 --> 01:18:36,252
I ain't left, I ain't right
People say I'm wrong
1165
01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:39,881
Before I was born
Oh, I was all gone
1166
01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:45,804
Don't even make sense
that I wrote this song
1167
01:18:45,888 --> 01:18:47,597
Tell me it's not true.
1168
01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:50,892
'Cause me, you see
I'm nothin'
1169
01:18:53,145 --> 01:18:54,646
I'm nothin'
1170
01:18:57,149 --> 01:18:59,067
Nothin'
1171
01:19:00,236 --> 01:19:01,653
That's me
1172
01:19:04,490 --> 01:19:05,907
I'm nothin'
1173
01:19:12,665 --> 01:19:14,416
Laney,
(AUDIENCE CHEERING,
APPLAUDING)
1174
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:17,836
sex is the quickest way
to ruin a friendship.
1175
01:19:23,426 --> 01:19:27,846
Thank you.
We'll be right back with a new
American cheese snack idea.
1176
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:31,307
Hey, Troy.
You got a phone call.
1177
01:19:35,146 --> 01:19:37,021
Lelaina! Hi.
1178
01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:41,317
Hi. Don't say anything.
I screwed up, I know.
(GULPS)
1179
01:19:41,485 --> 01:19:46,322
I should've protected you
and your work and I didn't.
I'm so sorry that I didn't.
1180
01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:48,616
I wanna make this up
to you.
1181
01:19:49,201 --> 01:19:52,328
You mean so much to me,
Lelaina, and I just...
1182
01:19:52,913 --> 01:19:54,456
Look, two tickets,
all right? New York.
1183
01:19:54,540 --> 01:19:57,917
We go and we give them
a presentation of the show
the way you want it done.
1184
01:19:58,043 --> 01:20:01,296
Michael, I don't...
I know, I know.
But this time's different.
1185
01:20:01,380 --> 01:20:05,758
Who's the boss?
Huh? Tony Danza?
I don't think so. It's you.
1186
01:20:05,843 --> 01:20:08,636
It's your show.
And I just...
(SIGHS)
1187
01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:14,684
I just feel like
maybe I deserve
another shot here.
1188
01:20:19,773 --> 01:20:21,900
Well, hi, Lelaina.
Hi.
1189
01:20:23,068 --> 01:20:25,612
What, is there a frog
in your throat, or are you
just glad to see me?
1190
01:20:25,696 --> 01:20:29,157
Hi, Mike.
Thanks for comin' down.
No hard feelings.
1191
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:33,161
(ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
(CROWD CHATTER)
1192
01:20:37,082 --> 01:20:39,667
Lelaina, you're looking
a little peaked.
1193
01:20:40,252 --> 01:20:42,545
Yeah. Are you okay?
VICKIE:
She's fine.
1194
01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:44,839
She's just had too many
Diet Cokes today.
1195
01:20:44,924 --> 01:20:47,342
Yeah, this girl
is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
1196
01:20:47,426 --> 01:20:48,510
Heh!
1197
01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:53,473
So are you gonna tell him
or am I?
1198
01:20:55,643 --> 01:20:57,602
(HUMMING SUSPENSEFUL TUNE)
1199
01:21:04,401 --> 01:21:07,946
Could you excuse me?
Could I talk to you?
1200
01:21:14,245 --> 01:21:15,286
Hi.
1201
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:23,294
You wanna tell me what
the hell he's doin' here?
I wanted to talk to you.
1202
01:21:24,588 --> 01:21:27,006
What the hell do you care?
You totally bailed on me
this morning.
1203
01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:31,135
I panicked. It happens.
I thought we could, uh,
work it out, you know?
1204
01:21:31,387 --> 01:21:34,305
I don't know if now's
the right time for us.
1205
01:21:35,683 --> 01:21:39,978
I meant everything that
I said to you last night.
Don't look at me like that.
1206
01:21:40,396 --> 01:21:42,564
Don't look at me like that.
That's not what I'm saying.
1207
01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:46,401
I'm not saying I...
Look.
1208
01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:50,572
You are the only woman that
I could ever commit myself to.
So what?
1209
01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:55,577
Do I get a medal? I win
the big commitment cook-off
and you just run away?
1210
01:21:55,661 --> 01:21:57,870
I knew this was
gonna happen!
1211
01:21:58,038 --> 01:22:00,456
I don't...
I don't wanna lose you.
1212
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:03,876
I've never been
in an experience
like this before.
1213
01:22:05,546 --> 01:22:08,798
I've never had
sex with somebody
that I loved before.
1214
01:22:09,008 --> 01:22:13,261
God! Oh, well,
congratulations, Troy Dyer.
1215
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:17,390
Welcome to the world
of the emotionally mature.
It's a nice place to visit.
1216
01:22:17,808 --> 01:22:21,436
Hey, you may run into
Michael. He lives here.
Yeah, right, Michael.
1217
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:24,272
He lets you navigate that
entire relationship.
1218
01:22:24,356 --> 01:22:26,441
Sorry, Lelaina,
but you can't navigate me.
1219
01:22:26,609 --> 01:22:31,821
I might do mean things,
hurt you, run away,
and you might hate me forever.
1220
01:22:31,905 --> 01:22:36,826
I know that scares the shit
out of you, because I'm
the only real thing you have.
1221
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:40,830
Oh, yeah?
Well, that ain't real much.
1222
01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:44,417
One, two, three, four
1223
01:22:45,210 --> 01:22:47,003
Hey, Troy,
man, you're on.
1224
01:22:47,171 --> 01:22:56,220
No bed of roses
1225
01:22:56,722 --> 01:23:00,183
Michael, I'm sorry.
No, listen, I'm sorry.
That's what this is all about.
1226
01:23:01,101 --> 01:23:02,810
This one's for you,
Laney.
1227
01:23:02,978 --> 01:23:05,063
(STICKS CLICKING,
DRUMROLLS)
1228
01:23:17,076 --> 01:23:21,204
Why can't I get
just one kiss
1229
01:23:21,372 --> 01:23:23,247
Believe, some things
that I wouldn't miss
1230
01:23:23,332 --> 01:23:25,833
But I look at your pants
and I need a kiss
1231
01:23:26,168 --> 01:23:30,421
Why can't I get
just one screw
1232
01:23:30,506 --> 01:23:32,548
Believe me
I'd know what to do
1233
01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:34,676
But somethin' won't let me
make love to you
1234
01:23:34,760 --> 01:23:39,430
Why can't I get
just one, huh
1235
01:23:44,395 --> 01:23:46,312
(BAND CONTINUES PLAYING)
1236
01:23:54,071 --> 01:23:55,863
Oh, nice job.
Very well done.
1237
01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:58,449
Yeah, I don't want
to hear it from you.
1238
01:23:58,826 --> 01:24:01,703
Yeah, well, I forgot.
I'm not qualified
to talk to you.
1239
01:24:01,787 --> 01:24:04,038
I'm sorry I can't be Mister,
uh, "Hey, look at me,
1240
01:24:04,123 --> 01:24:06,457
"I'm Buddha
on the mountaintop."
1241
01:24:06,709 --> 01:24:08,543
You know what you
remind me of?
1242
01:24:08,627 --> 01:24:12,422
You're like that guy
with the hat and the bells
1243
01:24:12,548 --> 01:24:15,049
and the little,
you know...
The court jester.
1244
01:24:15,134 --> 01:24:16,092
Yeah, right.
1245
01:24:16,176 --> 01:24:18,553
Where everything's
so easy to laugh at
from a safe distance
1246
01:24:18,637 --> 01:24:20,680
back in Clever-Cleverland.
1247
01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:22,932
You know what happens
to him?
1248
01:24:23,100 --> 01:24:28,312
They find his skull in a grave
and they go, "Oh, I knew him
and he was funny."
1249
01:24:28,981 --> 01:24:32,442
And the guy, the court jester,
dies all by himself.
1250
01:24:34,903 --> 01:24:37,822
Where'd you hear that?
A Renaissance Festival?
1251
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:44,662
Besides, everyone dies
all by himself.
1252
01:24:53,005 --> 01:24:55,089
If you really
believe that,
1253
01:24:56,592 --> 01:24:58,718
who you lookin' for
out here?
1254
01:25:08,896 --> 01:25:12,482
(ELECTRIC GUITAR
STRUMMING SLOWLY)
1255
01:25:18,947 --> 01:25:22,742
You say you want
1256
01:25:24,787 --> 01:25:27,955
Diamonds
and a ring of gold
1257
01:25:29,416 --> 01:25:33,252
You say you want
1258
01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:38,549
Your story
to remain untold
1259
01:25:39,510 --> 01:25:43,763
But all the promises
we make
1260
01:25:44,640 --> 01:25:48,768
From the cradle
to the grave
1261
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:56,234
When all I want is you
1262
01:26:05,494 --> 01:26:10,081
You say you'll give me
1263
01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:14,919
A highway
with no one on it
1264
01:26:16,255 --> 01:26:20,091
Treasure
just to look upon it
1265
01:26:20,926 --> 01:26:24,762
All the riches
in the night
1266
01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:30,601
You say you'll give me
1267
01:26:31,979 --> 01:26:36,065
Eyes on a moon
of blindness
1268
01:26:36,775 --> 01:26:41,112
A river
in a time of dryness
1269
01:26:42,114 --> 01:26:45,783
A harbor in the tempest
1270
01:26:46,535 --> 01:26:51,247
But all the promises
we make
1271
01:26:51,707 --> 01:26:55,710
From the cradle
to the grave
1272
01:26:56,795 --> 01:27:03,217
When all I want is you
1273
01:27:27,034 --> 01:27:28,618
(PHONE RINGING)
1274
01:27:31,163 --> 01:27:32,371
Hello?
1275
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:37,168
Hello?
You-ou
1276
01:27:37,336 --> 01:27:52,642
All I want is you-ou
1277
01:28:16,291 --> 01:28:18,209
Hey, Laney.
This is Lance.
1278
01:28:18,377 --> 01:28:22,880
Hi.
Hi. Um, I just need
to know if he's okay.
1279
01:28:26,343 --> 01:28:31,180
Okay. All I know is
he went back to Chicago alone.
1280
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:37,269
I'm not supposed
to know that, am I?
1281
01:29:02,462 --> 01:29:03,587
Shit.
1282
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:24,775
(PANTING)
1283
01:29:33,618 --> 01:29:34,660
Hi.
1284
01:29:36,204 --> 01:29:39,999
I was wondering
if I could talk to you
a minute before you go.
1285
01:29:44,755 --> 01:29:48,799
See, the thing is
that, uh...
1286
01:29:52,679 --> 01:29:56,307
Well...
Uh, my dad died.
1287
01:29:56,516 --> 01:30:00,811
Oh, God, Troy, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's... No, it...
1288
01:30:02,314 --> 01:30:04,482
What happened
was that, um,
1289
01:30:05,984 --> 01:30:10,196
I kind of got this arcane
glimpse at the universe.
1290
01:30:11,656 --> 01:30:15,743
And the best thing I can
say about that is, uh...
1291
01:30:20,874 --> 01:30:23,584
(SIGHS)
I don't know.
1292
01:30:28,965 --> 01:30:33,052
I have
this planet of regret
1293
01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:35,846
sitting on my shoulders.
1294
01:30:37,432 --> 01:30:40,810
You have no idea how much
I wish that I could go back
1295
01:30:41,394 --> 01:30:44,897
to that morning
after we made love
1296
01:30:45,857 --> 01:30:47,983
and do everything
different.
1297
01:30:49,569 --> 01:30:51,821
But I know that I can't,
so...
1298
01:30:54,116 --> 01:30:57,618
I thought that
I would come here
and tell you somethin'.
1299
01:30:59,204 --> 01:31:01,539
And what I wanted
to tell you
1300
01:31:01,915 --> 01:31:03,707
was that I love you.
1301
01:31:04,084 --> 01:31:07,628
And, uh, I just wanted
to make sure that
that was clear,
1302
01:31:07,712 --> 01:31:10,214
so that there wasn't
any confusion.
1303
01:31:16,555 --> 01:31:17,555
Um,
1304
01:31:19,266 --> 01:31:20,850
so, anyway, uh,
1305
01:31:23,603 --> 01:31:25,396
where are you going?
1306
01:31:25,730 --> 01:31:27,690
I was gonna
look for you.
1307
01:31:30,152 --> 01:31:31,402
What for?
1308
01:31:35,157 --> 01:31:39,410
Just wanted to see
if you were okay.
1309
01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:48,752
Well,
I had a shitty week.
1310
01:32:28,460 --> 01:32:31,462
Well, Frog went a-courtin'
and he did ride
1311
01:32:31,588 --> 01:32:35,424
With a sword and a pistol
by his side
1312
01:32:35,634 --> 01:32:39,637
Uh-huh
(HUMMING)
1313
01:32:42,057 --> 01:32:45,059
Well, he rode right up
to Miss Mousey's door
1314
01:32:45,143 --> 01:32:47,478
Uh-huh
(RINGING)
1315
01:32:48,146 --> 01:32:50,564
TROY: (ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
At the beep, please leave
your name, number,
1316
01:32:50,649 --> 01:32:55,027
and a brief justification
for the ontological necessity
of man's existential dilemma.
1317
01:32:55,111 --> 01:32:56,362
We'll get back to you.
1318
01:32:56,446 --> 01:32:59,406
(MACHINE BEEPS)
Lelaina, this is your dad.
1319
01:32:59,491 --> 01:33:02,910
Give me a call when
you get this. I need you
to explain something.
1320
01:33:02,994 --> 01:33:05,287
I just got a $900 bill
on my gas card.
1321
01:33:05,372 --> 01:33:07,873
(LELAINA LAUGHING)
(DRUMS)
1322
01:33:08,667 --> 01:33:14,129
If we should fall, love will
catch us every time
1323
01:33:14,756 --> 01:33:18,092
I hear you call
I will run
1324
01:33:20,178 --> 01:33:25,474
And if the magic
of the adventure overcomes
1325
01:33:25,642 --> 01:33:29,520
We won't cry,
because it could be fun
1326
01:33:29,688 --> 01:33:32,064
What I'm tryin' to do is
constantly find those people,
1327
01:33:32,190 --> 01:33:34,483
find out what makes them
the best, and bring that...
1328
01:33:34,859 --> 01:33:37,569
I've been getting a razzing
for being bald
and I'm a young man.
1329
01:33:37,696 --> 01:33:40,447
No more dates without
being called old man, but...
1330
01:33:44,828 --> 01:33:47,037
Roy, why are you
doing this to me?
1331
01:33:47,247 --> 01:33:48,998
I know we can be
happy together.
1332
01:33:49,541 --> 01:33:50,958
You'll chill in time.
1333
01:33:51,042 --> 01:33:54,545
Right now I need someone
who understands what my music
and the band mean to me.
1334
01:33:54,629 --> 01:33:56,922
But it's just music, Roy.
1335
01:33:57,048 --> 01:34:00,342
I'm a human being
with deep feelings
1336
01:34:01,052 --> 01:34:02,803
who feels things deeply.
1337
01:34:02,929 --> 01:34:05,014
Music is feeling, babe.
1338
01:34:05,432 --> 01:34:07,683
The band may be
a small dream, but
it's the only one I've got.
1339
01:34:07,767 --> 01:34:09,435
I'm Audi 5000.
1340
01:34:09,644 --> 01:34:14,231
Till I'm going,
going, gone
Please, don't let him
get drunk and drive.
1341
01:34:14,566 --> 01:34:17,276
Won't be very long
1342
01:34:17,444 --> 01:34:20,904
Till I'm going,
going, gone
1343
01:34:21,406 --> 01:34:23,240
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
1344
01:34:34,127 --> 01:34:35,544
You say
1345
01:34:37,422 --> 01:34:40,090
I only hear
what I want to
1346
01:34:45,972 --> 01:34:47,765
You say
1347
01:34:49,309 --> 01:34:51,810
I talk so all the time
1348
01:34:52,395 --> 01:34:53,812
So
1349
01:34:57,609 --> 01:35:00,402
And I thought
what I felt was simple
1350
01:35:00,653 --> 01:35:03,280
And I thought
that I don't belong
1351
01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:06,450
And now
that I am leaving
1352
01:35:06,618 --> 01:35:08,744
Now I know that I did
something wrong
1353
01:35:08,912 --> 01:35:11,121
'Cause I missed you
1354
01:35:12,707 --> 01:35:14,792
Yeah, yeah
1355
01:35:15,126 --> 01:35:16,794
I missed you
1356
01:35:22,008 --> 01:35:23,467
And you say
1357
01:35:25,303 --> 01:35:28,430
I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard
1358
01:35:28,765 --> 01:35:31,350
Don't pay attention to the
distance that you're running
1359
01:35:31,518 --> 01:35:35,979
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand
if you really care
1360
01:35:36,147 --> 01:35:40,317
I'm only hearin' negative
No, no, no, no
1361
01:35:41,653 --> 01:35:45,322
So I turn the radio on
I turn the radio up
1362
01:35:45,657 --> 01:35:48,075
And this woman
was singin' my song
1363
01:35:48,159 --> 01:35:50,994
Lovers in love
and the others run away
1364
01:35:51,162 --> 01:35:54,164
Lover is crying
'cause the other won't stay
1365
01:35:54,249 --> 01:35:56,500
Some of us hover
while we weep for the other
1366
01:35:56,584 --> 01:35:58,752
Who was dyin'
since the day they were born
1367
01:35:59,003 --> 01:36:02,589
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwin'
1368
01:36:02,674 --> 01:36:04,675
But I'm thrown
1369
01:36:05,844 --> 01:36:08,470
And I thought I'd live forever
But now I'm not so sure
1370
01:36:08,555 --> 01:36:10,389
You try to tell me
that I'm clever
1371
01:36:10,515 --> 01:36:15,477
That won't take me anyhow
or anywhere with you
1372
01:36:18,356 --> 01:36:23,444
You said that I was naive
and I thought that
I was strong
1373
01:36:23,528 --> 01:36:26,447
Oh, I thought
Hey, I can leave, I can leave
1374
01:36:26,531 --> 01:36:29,533
Oh, but now I know
that I was wrong
1375
01:36:29,701 --> 01:36:31,994
'Cause I missed you
1376
01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:37,708
Yeah-ah, I miss you
1377
01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:44,339
He said you caught me
'cause you want me
and one day you'll let me go
1378
01:36:44,424 --> 01:36:47,301
You try to give away
a keeper
or keep me 'cause you know
1379
01:36:47,385 --> 01:36:51,221
You're just so scared
to lose
1380
01:36:52,891 --> 01:36:54,600
And you say
1381
01:36:57,896 --> 01:36:59,688
Stay
1382
01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:08,280
And you say
1383
01:37:09,616 --> 01:37:12,534
I only hear
what I want to
1384
01:37:18,583 --> 01:37:20,375
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1385
01:37:38,186 --> 01:37:41,104
Ooh, my little pretty one
My pretty one
1386
01:37:41,272 --> 01:37:44,399
When you gonna give me
some time, Sharona
1387
01:37:44,609 --> 01:37:47,569
Ooh, you make my motor run
My motor run
1388
01:37:47,820 --> 01:37:50,989
Gun it comin' off
of the line, Sharona
1389
01:37:51,115 --> 01:37:54,368
Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind
1390
01:37:54,452 --> 01:37:57,621
I always get it up for the
touch of the younger kind
1391
01:37:57,747 --> 01:38:01,250
My, my, my-y-y
Whoo
1392
01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:04,378
M-M-M-My Sharona
1393
01:38:07,632 --> 01:38:10,801
Ooo-Ooo-Ooo
1394
01:38:10,885 --> 01:38:13,971
Ohh, my Sharona
107746
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