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00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:15,540
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,102
Ah, a weekend free
of the challenges of marriage,
3
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,938
fatherhood,
and the running of AIM!
4
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,817
Sixty-three hours
of unfettered recreation!
5
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,778
I'm not wearin' a wire.
6
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,238
You're wearin' a wire!
7
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,823
Sixty-two hours,
fifty-four minutes left.
8
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,493
- Now what to do?
- Why don't you hang out with me?
9
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,496
We can tell our future!
Find out where we're gonna live.
10
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,789
Who we're gonna marry!
11
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,125
A shack?
12
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,960
With Mama Fratelli
from The Goonies?
13
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,378
Two-hundred kids!
14
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,340
Ugh, just turn into a TV!
15
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,259
Yes! Yes! Beer! Alcohol!
16
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:56,012
Drink it with your friend!
Your robot best friend!
17
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:59,599
Alcohol! I can drown
my loneliness in alcohol!
18
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,851
Yeah.
19
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:03,812
Not with you.
With people worthy of my company.
20
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:07,065
- Then what do I do?
- I don't know, chase bubbles?
21
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,193
Um, I'm a state-of-the-art
sentient robot. I'm not...
22
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,070
Uh. Ho ho, bubbles!
23
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,447
Bubbles! How do they float?
24
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,294
Uh, is this card current?
25
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:28,670
Have you paid your dues?
26
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,422
I'm sort of a walk-right-in
kind of guy.
27
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,048
Yeah, no.
28
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:35,635
Who's filling my ears with nonsense
while I drink Pinot Grigio?
29
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,638
Wha... Hey, that guy knows me!
Leader, help me out.
30
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,891
Tell everyone how much better
than you I am.
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00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,602
This is a sophisticated club
for elite villains.
32
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,853
Not a riffrafferarium.
33
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,813
You're out of
your weight class, darling.
34
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,858
Joke's on you.
I've never been heavier!
35
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,777
He means
you're small potatoes.
36
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,905
I just came
from Ponderosa Steakhouse!
37
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:56,573
I'm full of huge potatoes!
38
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:59,659
They're saying you're not
a top-tier super villain.
39
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,787
Ponderosa classified me
as a supper villain!
40
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,081
Good lord, get out of here!
41
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,374
I'm a big deal!
42
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,960
I just fought Iron Man!
I stole his boot!
43
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,547
Your ass stole his boot
when he shoved it too far inside you!
44
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,008
You guys are pricks.
Let me hang out with you!
45
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,676
You want to impress us, eh?
46
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,429
Why don't you fetch
Captain America's shield?
47
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,805
Then we'll let you in.
48
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,432
But he loves that thing!
49
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,726
Plus I'd have to break
into Avengers Tower...
50
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:28,730
Listen to him. Already making excuses
for failure yet to come.
51
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,944
Come on, I want to tell you
about a house I saw in La Cañada.
52
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,195
Sir, the low-rent villains
who are roundly mocked here
53
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,989
usually slink away
to the Bar With No Name.
54
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,451
That kindness
just earned you a potato.
55
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,996
I got it started for you.
56
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,122
MODOK?
57
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:47,707
You here?
58
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,877
Why are we at Dad's office
on a Friday night?
59
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,463
There's a whole chapter in my book
about recipes I serve my son
60
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,841
who I claimed has
a trendy nut allergy,
61
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,926
and there you are
on YouTube
62
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:01,263
eating 10 Payday bars for no reason!
63
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,765
Oh, it was definitely
for a reason.
64
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,559
Can I at least hang
at daycare?
65
00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:07,435
I love the daycare here!
66
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,482
They have those baby urinals
that make me feel like King Piss.
67
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:11,982
You again?
68
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,442
The last time you were here,
you ate all the Play-Doh!
69
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:18,113
I was practicing
for the Ten Payday Bar Challenge!
70
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,824
You're a teen,
go to the Teen Zone!
71
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:24,246
Teen Zone?
Finally, a calzone just for teens?
72
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,707
Oh, Teen Zone.
73
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,791
Beanbag chairs. Par-a-doice!
74
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,003
Do you party?
I brought hardboiled eggs.
75
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,174
Save me, Joy Division.
76
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:38,594
Whoa!
I like music too!
77
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,770
Yes, I'll take
a pear brandy cordial.
78
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,272
Plum brandy will do in a pinch.
79
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,650
We've got whiskey.
80
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,112
Look what you did
to my drink, you dirt man!
81
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,780
Hey! You're Moomock!
82
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,282
Hey, Ten Pin, it's Moomock!
83
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,367
MODOK. Mental Organism Designed...
84
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,286
Yo, what's Moomock stand for?
85
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,788
- I... I don't know.
- Hey, you wanna play darts?
86
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,332
I mean, someone stole the darts,
87
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,419
but we throw knives
and stuff at Poundcakes.
88
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,128
You throw like a girl
89
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:18,217
who hasn't fully realized
her potential yet.
90
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,800
Come on.
It's so cool having you here.
91
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,469
You're one
of those big brain guys.
92
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,678
We're more of a bunch of fisters.
93
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,097
I think I know
what you think you mean.
94
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,807
Ah, leave him alone, Armadillo.
95
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,477
Johnny College ain't one of us.
96
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,479
The guy doesn't have
the stomach
97
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,481
for down-and-dirty street crime...
98
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,109
Ah, my stomach!
99
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,152
You dare challenge
my masculinity?
100
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,990
I'll have you know my last donnybrook
was a bona fide fracas!
101
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,615
This guy's a tourist.
102
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,826
Why are you even here, brother?
Shouldn't you be at the Soho Lair?
103
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,788
Well, it turns out
that place isn't cool anymore.
104
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,373
Oh my god,
he couldn't get in!
105
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,546
They're just breaking balls, man.
106
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,380
Ah yes. "Breaking. Balls."
107
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,424
I once broke the fused-ring structure
of Buckyballs to reverse the...
108
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,178
Told you he ain't one of us.
109
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,764
You're asking yourself,
"Who's rocking so hard right now?"
110
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,641
It's Sweetleg. My band.
111
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,268
I'm kind of the lead singer.
112
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:12,811
I'm actually definitely the lead singer,
113
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,396
I don't know why I'm being
so bashful about it.
114
00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,689
I don't like it.
115
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:18,358
If you're a lyrics guy,
you'll probably like our concept album
116
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:23,029
about a car that turns into a woman
and then has sex with me.
117
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,365
Hey, I put my last two dollars
in there!
118
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,534
I wanna hear
Carly Rae Jepsen.
119
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,171
Hmmm.
120
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:52,809
I'll use these fools
to get Captain America's shield.
121
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:55,480
Denizens of the Bar With No Name!
122
00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:59,274
I'm enlisting you all
to a great purpose. A heist!
123
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,943
- A heist for you?
- What's the heist?
124
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:05,238
Uh... I can't tell them
the real reason,
125
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,032
that they're basically
sacrificing their lives
126
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,700
for something
that will only benefit me...
127
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,619
- We're waiting!
- I'm thinking!
128
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,789
What do poor people like?
Oh, I know.
129
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,998
Money! You'll get money!
130
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:15,874
How much?
131
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,376
Enough to buy whatever you desire.
132
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,754
We can each get
our own pontoon boat!
133
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:24,257
Uh... not that much.
Maybe two people per pontoon boat.
134
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,593
Boats are a lot
of responsibility!
135
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,595
Someone to share
the burden with!
136
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,514
You were wrong!
He is one of us!
137
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:33,683
Ohh! Why did I lie about
how many pontoon boats they could get?
138
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:36,353
Why didn't I just say
they could have 10 pontoon boats?
139
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:38,396
You can all have
10 pontoon boats!
140
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,398
That's too many.
Is this a real heist?
141
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,318
I knew it! Alright,
it's back to half-a-boat each!
142
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,194
- Woo!
- Yeah!
143
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,073
I love a pontoon boat!
144
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,824
Alright. We're gonna
pull off this heist.
145
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,660
It's gonna be complicated.
To start, we...
146
00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,161
- I have a question.
- Yes. Angar.
147
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,789
Why are you calling on him?
You don't get to call on people.
148
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,291
Does this seem like
a natural stopping point to go get food?
149
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,460
Natural stopping...
I just started!
150
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,463
But Night Loaf, the all-night
meatloaf place, is closing in an hour.
151
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,132
No food.
Now the first thing to do...
152
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:09,052
Wait, how is it an "all-night
meatloaf place" if it's closing?
153
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,514
Because it gives you
that beef energy to go all night!
154
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,890
Oww! Ha ha!
155
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,475
Now I have a question.
156
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,769
- Stop, no...
- Yes. Ten Pin.
157
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:21,106
Is there hacking involved? Or reading?
Because none of us can read.
158
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,816
What? None of you?
159
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:25,110
Yep. Our old gang
was called The Illiterates.
160
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,528
We got hats made
and everything.
161
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:30,031
Pretty cool, right? What does it say?
Are they making fun of us?
162
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,117
Is who making fun of you?
163
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,327
- The milliners.
- The milliners?
164
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,872
Ooh, "the milliners."
165
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,040
Listen to
Mr. Fancy Words here.
166
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,625
You said it before I did!
167
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,502
Yeah, to make fun of you.
168
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,631
Everyone, shut up!
169
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,509
Can we please focus
on just the first phase of the plan?
170
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,553
There's no "phase"
in smash and grab!
171
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,430
This is not
a smash and grab!
172
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,684
This guy's impossible. I'm out.
173
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:59,730
Easy, Melter. This is the cash
you need to realize your dream.
174
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,315
A high-cholesterol
grilled cheese truck.
175
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,108
For hungry boomers like me.
176
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,361
I'm back in.
177
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,196
Okay. This is
a multi-layered operation with...
178
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,781
Multi-layered.
Like the meatloaf.
179
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,825
It goes beef, turkey, beef.
180
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,577
The turkey is always so dry.
181
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,080
Oh yeah, dry turkey!
182
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:19,748
Everyone shut up!
183
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,292
Let me at least get through
the first thing.
184
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,586
Ten Pin,
with his exploding pins,
185
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,048
takes out the cameras...
186
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:32,010
Armadillo, do you want
to call on Ten Pin?
187
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,929
Yes! Ten Pin.
188
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,390
I don't actually have my pins.
189
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,225
Ohh.
190
00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:40,977
Where... are they?
191
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:47,442
Okay, we're getting the pins,
just the pins,
192
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,485
then back to the heist.
193
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,862
Guys, look at this!
This football's a phone!
194
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,699
- Oh my god!
- I want it! I want it!
195
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:56,034
I'm here for this asshole's
exploding pins.
196
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,828
You want your bowling pins?
You give me 500 bucks.
197
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,497
What? That's outrageous!
198
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,332
You only gave me 490!
199
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:05,961
- Just pay him.
- I can't. I donated it to PBS.
200
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:09,424
You're an Illiterate
who loves PBS?
201
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,509
- I'm Ten Pin!
- Oh, Jesus.
202
00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:14,177
Do you do trades?
203
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,595
Ooh, this is nice.
204
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,180
Yes. It's top-rate.
205
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,181
I'll say.
206
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:21,395
That feels literally perfect.
207
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,020
You should be careful
of cutting your tongue.
208
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,150
The metal feels
so nice and cool.
209
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,277
- Jesus!
- Wow, great blade.
210
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,362
Can I just have
the pins please?
211
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,990
- Okay, why not.
- Great. Let's get out of here.
212
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:37,742
But first we gotta get these jackets
so everyone knows we're a crew!
213
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,327
Angar's Screamers!
214
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:42,247
What? No! Can we just go?
This guy's freaking me out.
215
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,124
No, no!
We're Poundcakes' Pummelers!
216
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,835
Armadildo's Fist Force Five.
217
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,546
There's six of us!
And did you say "Armadildo"?
218
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:52,048
No... Unless you liked it?
219
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,800
Crew names are stupid.
220
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,803
And if we had a name,
it would be MODOK's Six.
221
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:57,848
We're getting the jackets.
222
00:09:58,557 --> 00:09:59,514
Hm? What?
223
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,892
You really need to stop playing
with that blade!
224
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,979
Why do you have
my wife's ring?
225
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,313
I thought we were working it out!
226
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,859
I gotta go save my marriage!
227
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:12,986
You gotta pay for that!
Or this is gonna be you!
228
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,783
That was crazy.
229
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,203
I need a little milk of magnesia
to calm my ulcer.
230
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,164
Where the hell did Armadillo go?
I need him for the heist.
231
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,500
I, I think he went
to his ex-wife's house again.
232
00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:27,542
She lives in Paramus.
233
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,919
Ugh. Who has a car?
234
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:30,462
- Repossessed.
- Lost mine in a bet.
235
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:31,796
Also repossessed.
236
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,673
Living in mine
but it doesn't run.
237
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,597
- Hello.
- That's not how I taught you.
238
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,141
Ugh! Bonjour, chateau MODOK!
239
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,186
After 6:00, it's bonsoir,
you stupid robot!
240
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:48,148
- I need you.
- Oui!
241
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,614
- Who's there?
- Battle Orbs armed.
242
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:58,742
I'm... looking for MODOK.
243
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,325
Battle orbs stand down.
244
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,034
Awww.
245
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,619
Oh, are you his secretary?
246
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,163
Secretary? Battle orbs re-arm!
247
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,581
Oh yeah!
248
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,583
Who are you?
How did you get in here?
249
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,668
I'm MODOK's wife.
250
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,754
Sort of...
Ugh, it's complicated.
251
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,801
Anyway, I have a bit
of a work emergency.
252
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,680
You're MODOK's wife?
253
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,684
I have... so many questions.
254
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,270
Us too!
Are we killing or are we killing?
255
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,985
Is the air okay?
Everything okay with the temperature?
256
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:37,654
It would be
excruciatingly painful for me,
257
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,281
but I could make you
a moonroof.
258
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,199
MODOK, your car is
really annoying.
259
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,118
Think of me as less a car
260
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,370
and more of,
well, one, as a van.
261
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,706
And, two,
a part of the team.
262
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:48,915
Do not think of him.
263
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,712
Fine, I'll just put on
a real radio station.
264
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,879
You're listening
to The Real Guy and The Pooch.
265
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,047
We're talkin' about
the great Adaptoid!
266
00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:58,383
Let's take a caller.
267
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,802
Hi, this is Becky,
and I love the Adaptoid!
268
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,888
Whoa, you sound like
an absolute smokeshow!
269
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,223
Guilty! I look like the Adaptoid!
270
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,766
Ooh, daddy like!
271
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,143
Run, Forrest, run!
272
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,311
S-s-smokin'!
273
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:11,062
My god,
what does he want from us?
274
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,522
For you to call in!
275
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,982
Dial 1-ADAPTOID-NOW...
276
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,151
Why is the caller the one giving us
the phone number?
277
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,986
Uh-oh. Uh, sorry.
278
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,237
Okay, I'm just gonna turn
his volume off.
279
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,697
No, MODOK, you can't!
280
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,908
I love you!
I have... Crohn's Disease...
281
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,076
He doesn't have Crohn's Disease.
282
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,997
If anyone has undiagnosed Crohn's Disease,
it's me. And I do.
283
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:32,167
Alright, once we get Armadillo,
the heist is back on.
284
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:35,128
We're married! Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
285
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:38,882
Ay, por favor. We have been
divorced for eight years!
286
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,967
You don't even give me
a ring, remember?
287
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,386
But that's the kind of ring
I would have gave you!
288
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,639
And you broke my heart
when you pawned it!
289
00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:47,390
You're delusional!
290
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:51,561
Buddy, if you don't leave my wife alone,
I'm gonna kick your ass!
291
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:52,979
The Mandrill!
292
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:56,401
Ooh, Irene certainly has a thing
for animal villains.
293
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,569
Okay, tie up your robe
and let's fight!
294
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,488
It's a kimono,
295
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,532
and this is how you wear it!
296
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,534
Hey, wha... ah, okay, okay, ow!
297
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:06,993
Armadillo, get in the van!
298
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,830
And stop comin' around here!
299
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:12,749
I just thought maybe if you saw me
all drunk, throwin' a tantrum,
300
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:13,834
it would win you back!
301
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,460
Mandrill, get inside.
302
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,548
- Okay.
- Armadillo, go away.
303
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:23,385
He put in that kind of door
just so he could do that!
304
00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:27,391
I'm sorry that, that,
um... happened to you.
305
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,182
It just hurts.
306
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,980
Accepting the fact that people are capable
of falling out of love with you.
307
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,607
- You know?
- Yes!
308
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,567
I mean, no!
I'm happily married.
309
00:13:38,569 --> 00:13:42,279
Super happily. I back up
the orgasm truck every night.
310
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:45,033
Wow. That's really brave of you
to share that with me.
311
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,201
I can't do this heist, guys.
I'm goin' home.
312
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,581
Wait! I can fix this.
313
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,623
No! Who did this?
314
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,666
And how?
315
00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:59,004
Ten Payday bars?
316
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,256
Some YouTube stunt,
I don't know.
317
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,383
And MODOK is useless,
I take it?
318
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:07,554
The only thing he's useful for
is turning on a large hadron collider.
319
00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:10,557
Which is not
what I call my vagina.
320
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,520
Well, you are very cool.
321
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,479
No, I'm a jerk.
322
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,607
I'm bagging on MODOK,
but I came here
323
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:20,901
to beg him to fix my stupid lie.
324
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,403
I was hoping he could wipe
the video off the internet
325
00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:26,740
or release a targeted neuro-virus
that would erase everyone's mind.
326
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,283
You know, somethin' simple.
327
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:29,993
Forget MODOK.
328
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:33,705
The best geneticist
in the world is on staff.
329
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,167
- Who?
- Me.
330
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:42,088
Hey, Melter. I was thinking about
a name for your grilled cheese truck.
331
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,257
Manchego Winnebago!
332
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,053
I have a name already.
And it's perfect.
333
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,472
And I ain't sharing it
with no one!
334
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:52,891
Fine, I'm just trying to help.
335
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,602
Okay, it's time for phase one
of our plan!
336
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,020
- First stop...
- Night Loaf!
337
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,313
I thought Night Loaf was closed.
338
00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:01,483
No! It's a full moon,
so they reopen for werewolf hours.
339
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:04,027
What?
Alright, first the heist
340
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:06,071
and then we'll see
if this Night Loaf place is even real.
341
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:06,988
Night Loaf!
342
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,242
We need some tunes that jam.
343
00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:09,574
Ow.
344
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,160
Nothing jammed harder
in the summer of '77
345
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,413
than my band Sweetleg
and our album Look the Hell Out.
346
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,541
That ain't just me talking,
that's Crawdaddy magazine,
347
00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:19,000
with Henry Winkler on the cover.
348
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,420
Rock and roll, grandpa!
349
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,173
Grandpa?
Who's insulting me like this?
350
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,259
Give me my cheaters so I can look
these punks in the face!
351
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,970
- He's so wrinkly!
- So gross!
352
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,347
Oh, someone's self-conscious!
353
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:35,141
- Yeah, looking all ashamed and shit.
- Just die already, you old bag.
354
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,811
Why don't you show them
how to rock?
355
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,646
♪ Mississippi Tingle ♪
356
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,525
- Get him! Let's go.
- Ah, what the hell?
357
00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:45,277
Oh, that's a crossbow! Go!
358
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,530
Go, go, go, go, go!
359
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,573
Oh my god, I've been shot!
360
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,449
This is it. I'm dying.
361
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,243
This is my death rattle.
362
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,870
It hit the license plate.
363
00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:57,122
Oh good, that's not actually
a part of me.
364
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,874
Oh, oh. Turn here!
Turn here!
365
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:04,254
Angar! Your band's been
broken up for 30 years,
366
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:05,463
you've got to let it go.
367
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,715
Stop living in the past...
368
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:08,633
Oh my god,
this is my old high school.
369
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,093
I have to go in there! Move!
370
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,720
Are you serious?
371
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:14,139
This is the longest phase one
in history!
372
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,474
There's no phase one
in a smash and grab...
373
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,436
Shut up, Melter!
374
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:18,894
The Muenster Truck?
375
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:21,605
Not even...
376
00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:22,482
close.
377
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:25,861
I need that shield.
378
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,031
Back off, teens!
I'm a high-tech robot!
379
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,449
I'm more than meets the...
380
00:16:32,451 --> 00:16:34,411
Oh god, I forgot to lock the doors!
381
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,290
I had every state track
and field record,
382
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:43,086
but I'll never see my name
on any of these trophies.
383
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,086
Oh right. You can't read.
384
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,422
I know what my name looks like!
385
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,591
Sideways horseshoe,
the donut,
386
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:52,344
the ladder with a broken rung,
the twisty snake.
387
00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:55,847
The point is, they took my name
off the trophies
388
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,140
after the drug testing.
389
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,100
Oh, you were juicing.
390
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:02,771
No. The blood tests showed
I had mutant abilities.
391
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:05,817
Goodbye, Olympics.
Goodbye, everything.
392
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:08,777
I still worked hard for these.
393
00:17:08,779 --> 00:17:10,822
I'm sorry.
394
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,159
Does this help?
395
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,830
- Whoa!
- Nice one, Poundcakes!
396
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:21,206
No.
397
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,208
Hey, maybe we should just
call it a night, huh?
398
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,918
Yeah, I gotta get back
to not doing anything.
399
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,796
Wait! Look, I know what it's like
to want to give up.
400
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:30,090
You guys are afraid.
I understand that fear.
401
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,716
Fear that your best days
are behind you.
402
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,677
Fear of being forgotten.
403
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,178
Fear of moving on.
404
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,180
Fear of dropping things.
405
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:37,931
Ahh!
406
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:40,684
Or the fear of being
such a born failure
407
00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:43,770
that you never even deserved the fear
of losing anything to begin with.
408
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,272
Why is mine
so much worse?
409
00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:48,608
You need to dig under the fear
to find anger and vengeance!
410
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,443
So when you're laughed
out of the Soho Lair,
411
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:53,238
you assemble a crew to steal
Captain America's shield
412
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,615
from Avenger's Tower,
but you don't give it to them.
413
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,952
Instead, you use it to smash
their stupid faces in
414
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:00,996
so that they'll love you
and accept you!
415
00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:04,668
And say "Oh, MODOK,
you are good and not bad!"
416
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,628
Wait. There was never
any money?
417
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,297
This was all about a shield?
418
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:13,717
You were just using us to get back in
with your A-list buddies!
419
00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:15,594
- Told you he wasn't one of us!
- Wait! Stop!
420
00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:17,179
Blow it out your ass!
421
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,016
Ow!
422
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:24,271
Why does this school have
so many pole vaulting champions?
423
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,570
The crew!
They came back for me!
424
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:33,195
Ahh!
425
00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:35,322
Help me!
426
00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:40,410
Perfect. The rain
will wash away my tears.
427
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:42,662
Now my crying's a secret.
428
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,628
It's real?
429
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,754
Welcome to Night Loaf.
430
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,547
I am the Loaf Knight.
431
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:55,425
Choose your loaf wisely.
432
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:59,095
Sir Loaf, as much as we'd love
more loafs,
433
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,014
we've spent
all of our Loaf Tokens.
434
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:05,018
Silence! The loaves
have already been paid for.
435
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:05,769
By who?
436
00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:09,983
The crying man
on the floating toilet!
437
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,528
Hey, guys.
This place is great!
438
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,530
I didn't realize
it was medieval themed.
439
00:19:16,532 --> 00:19:17,614
It is not.
440
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:18,865
Well, it's very confusing.
441
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,367
Anyway, I wanted to say I'm sorry.
442
00:19:20,369 --> 00:19:23,828
Sorry for what? Lying to us
about breaking into Avengers Tower?
443
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,330
Well, it's not "lying."
444
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:28,375
It's more like deliberately
withholding information to deceive you.
445
00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:31,545
Or how you were gonna risk our lives
to get some stupid shield
446
00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:33,004
to impress your fancy friends?
447
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,549
Well, it's not a stupid shield.
It's a very famous shield, guys.
448
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:38,510
And after all of that,
you wanna buy us dinner
449
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,720
and we're supposed
to forgive you?
450
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,348
Well, not just any dinner,
it's Night Loaf.
451
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,725
You were all pretty excited
about it before.
452
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,729
Frankly, you wouldn't shut up
about it.
453
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:49,980
Okay. You're right.
454
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:52,107
I am sorry.
455
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,441
I didn't give you enough credit.
456
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,320
But you guys don't give yourselves
enough credit.
457
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:56,820
Yeah, we suck.
458
00:19:56,822 --> 00:20:00,365
No! You know who sucks?
Those snobs at the Soho Lair.
459
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,325
While they're kicking back
in their posh headquarters,
460
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:03,994
you're out here
hittin' the pavement.
461
00:20:03,996 --> 00:20:05,620
You got heart, you got grit.
462
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,455
You're just grittin' around in the dirt.
463
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,458
Look at these dirty fingernails!
They're absolutely disgusting!
464
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:11,418
I was tunneling.
465
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,086
Is tunneling even
an Armadillo thing?
466
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:14,004
It is.
467
00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:16,214
The point is,
Melter was right.
468
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,466
I'm not one of you...
but I want to be.
469
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:19,926
- Welcome back.
- We'll take you back.
470
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:22,429
I promised you a score.
And I shall deliver.
471
00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:23,972
Let's rob Night Loaf!
472
00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:25,724
- What? No!
- Shh! Loaf Knight can hear you!
473
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:27,100
He's all the way over there.
474
00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:29,769
I hear everything!
475
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,188
Oh my god, he heard.
476
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:33,273
He's killed three people
since we got here.
477
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,941
I know what we should steal.
478
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,943
Captain America's shield.
479
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,486
Really?
480
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:39,988
But we take the shield
481
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:43,742
and hang it up
in the Bar With No Name.
482
00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:48,957
To Melter. Slightly changing my idea
just enough so I can't sue him!
483
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,708
Wait, MODOK is your dad?
484
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,419
I have so many questions.
485
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,213
Mom!
486
00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:58,258
He's not my boyfriend!
487
00:20:58,717 --> 00:21:00,217
Relax, Carmilla,
488
00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:03,762
I just altered his DNA
to give him a peanut allergy.
489
00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:05,263
A pea-what what-ergy now?
490
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,598
Oh, you can do that?
491
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,267
I can make him allergic to anything,
come to think of it.
492
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,186
Cats, the color blue, oxygen...
493
00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:12,354
Peanuts is fine.
494
00:21:12,356 --> 00:21:14,564
I'm allergic to peanuts now?
495
00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:16,149
Oh, I'm complex!
496
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,902
And I'm finally carrying
an EpiPen for a reason!
497
00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:20,487
- Ah, sweet!
- Let's go, Lou.
498
00:21:20,489 --> 00:21:21,738
Say hi to MODOK.
499
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,281
And say goodnight to LOUIS,
500
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:26,701
Lanky Organism
Undeniably Irresistible and Syphilitic.
501
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,663
I haven't looked up that last word,
but I think it sounds beautiful.
502
00:21:29,665 --> 00:21:32,501
Shhh. Don't tell me
what it means.
503
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:36,795
Avengers Tower, here we go!
504
00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:39,589
Ain't nothin' gonna stop us now!
505
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:45,053
Last stop, Coney Island/Stillwell Avenue.
506
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:46,221
Everyone must get off.
507
00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:49,099
Oh no. We missed our stop.
508
00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:50,267
- Aww.
- Oh man.
509
00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:51,895
What do we do now?
510
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,236
Ooh! I can't believe
I let us fall asleep.
511
00:22:01,238 --> 00:22:03,029
I failed you all again.
512
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:05,323
What? That was a fun night, man.
513
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,284
Yeah, brother.
I mean, we did a car chase,
514
00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:08,827
a guy sawed his arm off,
515
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:10,620
and I got to see
Mandrill's famous hog.
516
00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:12,372
And I got wasted.
517
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,915
And I got to eat real food!
518
00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,917
Grilling Me Softly with Chevre!
519
00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:18,172
Just stop. Here, come here.
520
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:22,968
Perfect name.
521
00:22:25,637 --> 00:22:26,678
Hey, Modie.
522
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,015
How many of us were you gonna sacrifice
breaking into Avenger's Tower?
523
00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:33,602
I'd formulated a plan
with a 98.7 percent chance of success
524
00:22:33,604 --> 00:22:35,103
that would have only lost
two of you.
525
00:22:35,105 --> 00:22:37,731
Oh, that's way better odds
than we usually get!
526
00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:40,150
Let's finish the night out
with one more drink
527
00:22:40,152 --> 00:22:41,443
at The Bar With No Name.
528
00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:43,111
They put out free donuts at 7:00.
529
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:45,363
- I want that too.
- Hell yeah, that's a good idea.
530
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,282
Melter! Donuts!
531
00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:49,453
Melter, come on! Melter!
532
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:50,996
Oh!
533
00:22:54,875 --> 00:22:55,709
Oh.
534
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:08,428
Oh, MODOK!
535
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:10,514
Those teens kidnapped me
and drove me,
536
00:23:10,516 --> 00:23:13,099
and then they started talking
about The Great Gatsby.
537
00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:15,769
They thought they were so smart,
but it was so trite and...
538
00:23:15,771 --> 00:23:16,895
Wow, you look weird...
539
00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:31,034
♪ Yeah ♪
540
00:23:31,036 --> 00:23:34,829
♪ Zoomin' on a beezeron a flat black backway ♪
541
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:38,208
♪ Big fat frammie
gonna overload ♪
542
00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:41,753
♪ Squeezin' on a brick top
looking for a chammy ♪
543
00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:44,965
♪ Mary's takin' pickles till
she's gonna explode ♪
544
00:23:44,967 --> 00:23:48,718
♪ We got a high glider
and it's never coming down ♪
545
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,180
♪ A low rider
taking over the town ♪
546
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:55,934
♪ We're gonna split the night
and it ain't surprising ♪
547
00:23:55,936 --> 00:23:59,064
♪ Gotta Mississippi Tingle risin' ♪
548
00:24:02,824 --> 00:24:07,824
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https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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