Original subtitles

- TONIGHT ON JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN...

WHAT HAS THIS MAYOR DONE TO TAKE ON

HIS CITY'S GRAVE FINANCIAL CRISIS?

DOES EVERYTHING SCARE YOU?

WE'LL TALK TO SOMEONE WHO THINKS HE CAN HELP.

PLUS A SPECIAL "SHAME ON ME" REPORT

FROM OUR CONSUMER ADVOCATE EDWARD SHEATH.

ALL THIS AND MORE ON TONIGHT'S JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.

[upbeat newscast music]

- [grunting]

- AAH...

[timer beeping]

[explosion]

[birds chirping]

- THERE ARE MANY CITIES LIKE THIS ONE

ALL OVER THE COUNTRY WHERE JOBS ARE HARD TO COME BY,

AND THE ECONOMY IS STRUGGLING.

BUT THIS ONE PARTICULAR COMMUNITY IS HARD AT WORK

TO REJUVENATE ITSELF.

AND BRING A LIFE AND SPIRIT

BACK TO ITS LOCALS.

- SINCE WE LOST OUR GM PLANT,

UH, IT'S BEEN A STRUGGLE AROUND HERE.

A LOT OF PEOPLE LOST THEIR JOBS.

- BUT I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE FOUND A WAY TO TURN THINGS AROUND.

- WELL, WHEN I FIRST TOOK OFFICE OUR TEAM OF CITY PLANNERS,

THEY HAD LITTLE TO WORK WITH.

BUT THEY DID DISCOVER THAT WE HAD

THE SINGLE HIGHEST SUICIDE RATE IN THE COUNTRY.

- HMM.

- WHEN THEY TOLD ME THAT I KNEW WE HAD SOMETHING.

- HAD SOMETHING? - THAT'S RIGHT.

AND THIS YEAR ALONE WE'RE LOOKING AT A 30% INCREASE

IN THE SUICIDE RATE.

- SO YOU'RE INCREASING THE SUICIDE RATE?

- YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE ECONOMICS OF IT ALL.

WHEN A PERSON IS GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE,

HE'S THINKING IN SHORT TERM

AND HE'S GONNA BLOW A LOT OF MONEY.

WE WANT HIM TO BLOW THAT MONEY RIGHT HERE IN MASON.

[upbeat music]

*

- I LOVE LIVING HERE IN MASON.

IT'S A GREAT CITY,

WITH A VIBRANT SPIRIT

AND A SMALL-TOWN CHARM.

WE ALSO HAVE AN AMAZING ARRAY

OF NATURAL WONDERS HERE IN MASON.

THE GORGE...

WITH ITS 300 FOOT DROP ONTO AN OUTCROPPING OF CRAGGY ROCK.

AND OUR FOREST,

WHERE YOU CAN WANDER OFF AND NEVER SEE ANOTHER PERSON.

AND OUR BRIDGES.

WE HAVE NINE OF THEM

AND THREE BEING BUILT.

ALL OF THEM EASILY ACCESSIBLE BY FOOT.

OOPS.

LOOKS LIKE GRANDMA PITKINS

DROPPED ONE OF HER FAMOUS WATERMELONS,

GROWN LOCALLY, RIGHT HERE IN MASON.

- I'M PROUD TO HAVE MY STEAKHOUSE

RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF MASON SQUARE.

IF I WAS HAVING MY LAST MEAL,

I DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE IT HERE.

BESIDES, WE OFFER FREE PARKING TO ALL CUSTOMERS

IN PRIVATE ENCLOSED CARPORTS.

[motor running]

[car horn blaring]

- AND MASON HAS OVER 60 MOTELS,

SO WHEN YOU COME TO VISIT,

YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY

ABOUT FINDING A SOUNDPROOF ROOM.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MR. MAYOR?

- THAT'S RIGHT, JANICE.

AND I'M PROUD TO BE THE MAYOR OF MASON,

A CITY WITH SO MUCH TO OFFER

AND A WONDERFUL PLACE TO BE.

SO DISCOVER MASON,

YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

- I MEAN, DO YOU EVER FEEL BAD

ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

I MEAN, YOU'RE BASICALLY MARKETING SUICIDE.

- I COMPARE IT TO A BABY BEING BORN WITH A BIRTH DEFECT.

I MEAN, SURE IT'S SAD, BUT WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

BESIDES BUILD AN INDUSTRY AROUND IT?

- WELL, I-- - OH, LOOK.

THAT'S PROBABLY JUST THIS MORNING.

- JESUS.

WAIT, IS THAT LEO? - WHAT?

THAT LOOKS LIKE MY WRITER, LEO.

- YOU KNOW SOMEBODY DOWN THERE?

- IT CAN'T BE.

DAVE, WHERE'S LEO?

- I DON'T KNOW, HE'S PROBABLY AT THE HOTEL.

- WELL, COME HERE, LOOK AT THIS.

DOES THAT LOOK LIKE LEO RIGHT THERE?

- WHICH ONE?

- THE ONE IN THE FLANNEL.

- WHICH ONE IN THE FLANNEL?

- THE ONE ON THE LEFT WITH THE BUCKET HAT,

THE GUY, NOT THE GIRL.

- I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T TELL FROM HERE.

- THAT'S DEFINITELY LEO. - I DON'T KNOW.

[scary music]

- JESUS.

STOP.

- YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH, UH...

- UM, THAT ONE.

- DETECTIVE MURPHY, MASON POLICE DEPARTMENT.

DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS?

- YEAH, SURE.

- YOU KNOW LEO TO HAVE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS,

DEPRESSION, ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

- WELL, HE WAS A TOTAL MESS.

- YEAH, [bleep],

HE HAS TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF, WHAT, 20--

- 25 TIMES, MAYBE.

NO, MAYBE, LIKE, TEN.

- HE WAS IN AND OUT OF HALFWAY HOUSES

TILL ABOUT A YEAR AGO.

- I'M SURPRISED THIS HASN'T HAPPENED EARLIER.

[laughs]

- HOW DID HIS HAT AND GLASSES STAY ON THE WHOLE TIME?

- HE WORE CROAKIES.

- CROAKIES ARE THOSE STRAPS THAT ATTACH TO YOUR GLASSES.

- OH, YEAH, YEAH, I REMEMBER THOSE.

- THEY'RE FROM THE '80s. - DETECTIVE.

YOU'RE GONNA WANNA SEE THIS.

IF THIS WERE A SUICIDE, IT'D BE THE FIRST TIME

I EVER HEARD OF SOMEONE STABBING THEMSELVES IN THE BACK.

- FINALLY, A MURDER.

THAT'S AWESOME.

"JBHV."

WHAT'S THAT?

- THAT'S THE SHOW'S KNIFE.

- WHAT? - NOTHING.

- IT'S THE SHOW'S KNIFE.

JBHV.

JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.

THAT'S THE KNIFE WE SHARE WHENEVER WE NEED A KNIFE,

ONLY US THREE USE IT.

- I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK THE THREE OF YOU

TO COME TO THE STATION, ANSWER A FEW QUESTIONS.

LET'S GO.

- NICE.

- THIS GUY WAS WEARING CROAKIES.

- [bleep], MY DAD USED TO HAVE A PAIR OF THOSE.

both: [laughing]

- WHO WE GOT UP FIRST HERE?

- UH, NATHAN FIELDER.

- OKAY, I'M GOIN' IN.

OKAY.

MR. FIELDER.

- YOU CAN CALL ME NATHAN.

MR. FIELDER IS WHAT I CALL MY [bleep].

- [laughs]

THAT'S FUNNY.

OKAY, NATHAN.

I JUST NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS

REGARDING THE MURDER INVESTIGATION

OF YOUR CO-WORKER, LEO ALLEN.

- YEAH, I'M STILL IN SHOCK.

- CAN YOU TELL ME THE LAST TIME YOU SAW LEO?

- LAST NIGHT AT HAGGERTY'S, WE WERE ALL DRINKING TOGETHER.

- OKAY.

AND WERE YOU THERE WHEN HE LEFT?

- I LEFT FIRST, I WENT BACK TO THE MOTEL

BUT HE WAS STILL THERE.

- AND DO YOU KNOW IF ANYONE ON THE SHOW

HAD ANY SORT OF PROBLEM WITH LEO?

- NOT THAT I CAN...THINK OF.

- NATHAN.

NATHAN WAS THE ONLY ONE I'M AWARE OF THAT HAD

REAL SERIOUS PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH LEO.

- WHAT WAS THE NATURE OF THE PROBLEM?

- WELL, UH, NATHAN WAS REALLY UPSET BECAUSE

UH, HE HAD JUST FOUND OUT THAT LEO WAS DATING HIS MOM.

AND WHEN HE BROKE IT OFF, I GUESS LEO

HAD TAKEN A LOT OF MONEY FROM NATHAN'S MOM

AND CHARGED, LIKE, $10,000 ON HER CREDIT CARD.

BUT IN FAIRNESS, THOSE WERE THE ONLY WOMEN

THAT LEO WAS ATTRACTED TO.

OLDER, WEALTHY, RECENTLY DIVORCED,

VERY UNHAPPY, EMOTIONALLY RAW--

- WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

- LAST WEEK.

- IS THERE ANYONE ELSE THAT MIGHT WANT LEO DEAD?

- JON.

DEFINITELY JON.

HE'S HAD BIG PROBLEMS WITH LEO EVER SINCE

HE STARTED WRITING FOR THE SHOW.

THAT'S JON THOUGH, HE'S GOT MASSIVE ANGER ISSUES.

BUT I DON'T THINK HE WOULD MURDER LEO.

BUT THEN AGAIN I WOULDN'T BET AGAINST IT.

UNLESS OF COURSE I HAD A GAMBLING ADDICTION LIKE JON.

- UH, JON OWE MONEY TO LEO?

- JON DID USE LEO'S COMPUTER

TO RUN UP THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT PLAYING ONLINE POKER,

SO I GUESS THAT'S A YES.

- LEO FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?

- OH, YEAH, HE WAS PRETTY UPSET.

HE CONFRONTED JON ABOUT IT. IT GOT PRETTY HEATED.

CHOKING, SLAPPING, THAT KIND OF THING.

- OKAY. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN TELL US

THAT CAN HELP US OUT WITH OUR INVESTIGATION?

ANYTHING AT ALL.

- DAVE SOLD ECSTASY TO LEO.

- DAVE SOLD ECSTASY.

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF HE, LIKE, SELLS FOR REAL.

BUT HE SELLS TO FRIENDS AND STUFF.

- DID LEO OWE MONEY TO DAVE?

- ALL I KNOW IS THAT DAVE SOLD A LOT OF ECSTASY TO LEO,

BECAUSE LEO HAD A LOT OF DRUG PROBLEMS.

BUT I THINK LEO HAD A HARD TIME PAYING DAVE BACK.

AND I KNOW THAT DAVE WAS REALLY MAD ABOUT IT.

- [sniffs] OKAY.

I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO STICK AROUND.

[chatter on police radio]

[door opens]

- NOW SIT TIGHT, GUYS.

THE DETECTIVE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

- THANKS.

THIS IS PRETTY INTENSE, HUH?

I WONDER WHO MURDERED LEO.

- ME TOO.

- THE DETECTIVE WAS NICE.

[upbeat music]

*

- WE'LL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PET!

- WHEN SHAUNA MET JACK, HER POMERANIAN,

IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

- HI, I'M SHAUNA, BUT MY FRIENDS CALL ME CUPCAKE.

THIS IS JACK,

UM, I'VE HAD JACK FOR 2 1/2 YEARS.

- SHAUNA THINKS THAT JACK ADORES HER!

- YEAH, I THINK THAT JACK A-ADORES ME.

- WELL, TODAY THE "LOOK LIKE YOUR PET" CREW

WILL MAKE SHAUNA LOOK LIKE HER PET.

- THIS IS IT, THIS IS IT.

SHAUNA OLSEN, SHAUNA OLSEN,

WE'RE HERE TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PET.

SHAUNA OLSEN.

COME ON OUT, SHAUNA.

THERE YOU ARE, WE'RE COMING UP.

SHAUNA. - YES?

- HI, I'M JON. - NICE TO MEET YOU.

- ALL RIGHT, SO ARE YOU EXCITED?

WHERE'S YOUR PET? - JACK!

- HI, JACK.

JACK IS A-- - POMERANIAN.

- AND JACK IS A BOY? - YES.

- JACK COULD BE A GIRL'S NAME.

COULD BE, RIGHT?

YOU WANNA GET STARTED? - YEAH.

- BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PET.

- YAAY!

JACKIE, MOMMY GETS TO LOOK LIKE YOU.

- OKAY.

- YOU--YOU'RE GONNA LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR PET.

- YAAY, JACKIE!

HI. - THIS IS TARA.

SHE'S THE MAKE UP ARTIST. - NICE TO MEET YOU.

- SHE'S THE BEST OF THE BEST.

SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE. - I'M SO EXCITED.

- WELL, LET'S DO IT, LET'S DO IT,

YOU'RE GONNA LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR PET.

HOW WE DOIN'?

ARE WE MAKING HER LOOK LIKE HER PET?

YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE YOUR PET PRETTY SOON!

WE MAKING PROGRESS?

YOU ARE REALLY STARTING TO LOOK LIKE YOUR PET.

[laughs]

- [gasps] I LOVE IT!

I TOTALLY LOVE IT! - LET'S BRING IN JACK.

LOOK AT YOU TWO.

- I'M SO EXCITED. - THAT'S GREAT.

IT REALLY DOES LOOK GREAT.

AND NOW WE'RE OUTSIDE,

AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PET.

- I KNOW, I LOVE IT.

- WE'RE WALKING DOWN YOUR STREET.

THIS IS WHERE YOU LIVE. - YEAH.

- AND YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR PET.

- JACK, WE'RE TWINS. - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE'RE GONNA GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PET.

OKAY, SHAUNA, HERE WE ARE,

WE'RE AT THE OFFICES OF DOCTOR NATHAN KUMERLY.

HE'S A THERAPIST. - OH.

- HE'S GONNA TALK TO YOU FOR A LITTLE BIT.

- OKAY.

- YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE YOUR PET THE WHOLE TIME.

- HELLO, UH-- - HI.

YOU DO, IN FACT, LOOK A LOT LIKE YOUR PET.

- YAAY! JACKIE, WE LOOK ALIKE.

- WHY DO YOU THINK YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE YOUR PET?

I GUESS I'M JUST GONNA ASK IT AGAIN.

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE HIM?

- WELL, SHAUNA, THAT'S IT. - OH.

- DID YOU HAVE FUN? - YES!

- YOU REALLY DID LOOK LIKE YOUR PET ALL DAY.

- IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. - WELL, THANKS FOR BEING ON.

WE'LL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PET.

BYE, SHAUNA! BYE, JACK!

- YOU'RE INCREASING THE SUICIDE RATE?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- IS THAT LEO? - YOU KNOW SOMEBODY DOWN THERE?

- FIRST TIME I EVER HEARD OF SOMEONE STABBING THEMSELVES

IN THE BACK.

- I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK THE THREE OF YOU

TO COME TO THE STATION AND ANSWER A FEW QUESTIONS.

RECOGNIZE THESE?

- LOOKS LIKE A BAG OF PILLS.

- WHAT KIND OF PILLS?

- PLACEBOS? - PLACEBOS.

HOW ABOUT ECSTASY? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ECSTASY?

THAT'S AN EMOTION, RIGHT?

- WE FOUND THIS YOUR HOTEL ROOM.

- ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

ALL I KNOW IS JON ASKED ME TO HOLD ON

TO HIS PLACEBOS FOR HIM.

- WHY DOES JON HAVE A BAG FULL OF PLACEBOS?

- WELL, THAT'S LIKE ASKING ME WHY

JON HAS AN UNREGISTERED HANDGUN

IN HIS LUGGAGE.

- THAT'S ODD. - CHECK IT OUT.

- RECOGNIZE THIS?

- YEAH, IT'S DAVE'S GUN.

- DAVE'S GUN?

- YEAH.

- WHAT IS DAVE'S GUN DOING IN YOUR LUGGAGE?

- UM, HE ASKED ME TO HOLD IT FOR HIM.

- WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

- WELL, BECAUSE HE'S ON PAROLE.

SO I GUESS IF HE GOT CAUGHT WITH IT,

IT WOULD BE A VIOLATION.

I WAS JUST HELPING HIM OUT.

- WHAT'S HE ON PAROLE FOR?

- MURDER.

- MANSLAUGHTER.

IT WAS, LIKE, TEN YEARS AGO.

- WELL, LISTEN, DAVE.

YOU'RE A CONVICTED FELON

WHO DEALS ECSTASY,

AND A CUSTOMER OF YOURS

WHO OWES YOU THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS

ENDS UP AT THE BOTTOM OF A BRIDGE

WITH A KNIFE IN HIS BACK?

- WAIT A MINUTE, WHO SAID I DEAL ECSTASY?

- YOUR SOUND GUY. - NATHAN?

- YOU BETTER START TALKING.

- ALL RIGHT, LOOK DETECTIVE,

IT WASN'T ME WHO WAS ARGUING WITH LEO LAST NIGHT,

IT WAS NATHAN AND HIS MOM.

- ARGUING ABOUT WHAT?

- WELL, NATHAN'S MOM FOUND OUT THAT LEO AND NATHAN

STOLE THEIR MONEY,

SO SHE CAME TO HAGGERTY'S TO CONFRONT THEM.

- YOU RECOGNIZE THE PEOPLE IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH?

- NO.

- THIS PERSON RIGHT HERE...

THAT'S LEO.

- OH.

- THIS PERSON RIGHT HERE...

- NO.

- THAT'S YOU.

- OH, IT IS?

- AND THE WOMAN... - NO.

- YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN MOTHER?

- WAIT, ONE SEC.

- OH, YEAH, THAT WAS US LAST NIGHT

AT HAGGERTY'S-- WE WERE ARGUING.

- DAVE SAYS WHEN HE LEFT,

YOU, LEO, AND YOUR MOTHER

WERE IN A HEATED ARGUMENT.

- I LEFT.

TRUST ME, YOU DON'T WANNA BE AROUND MY MOM

WHEN SHE'S ANGRY.

SHE GOES NUTS.

I MEAN, JUST, LIKE, TOTALLY, TOTALLY NUTS.

- THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

- SHE GOES [bleep] NUTS.

- MRS. FIELDER, RECOGNIZE THIS?

- YES.

IT'S LEO'S KNIFE.

- MS. FIELDER, I'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED

THAT YOUR PRINTS ARE ON THE KNIFE.

CARE TO EXPLAIN?

- I FOLLOWED LEO OUT OF HAGGERTY'S,

UNDER THE BRIDGE,

AND THEN THE KNIFE FELL OUT OF HIS COAT POCKET,

AND I PICKED IT UP FOR HIM.

AND I REMEMBER THAT DISTINCTLY BECAUSE MY HANDS WERE SHAKING

WHILE I WAS TRYING TO HOLD ON TO THE KNIFE

BECAUSE I WAS OVERFLOWING WITH RAGE.

- AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

- I LEFT AND I WENT BACK TO MY MOTEL.

- OKAY, SO YOU WERE ON THE BRIDGE

ARGUING WITH LEO, FILLED WITH RAGE--

- AND DON'T FORGET I WAS VERY DRUNK.

- AND YOUR PRINTS ARE ON THE KNIFE,

BUT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE MURDER.

- OH, GOD, NO.

I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MURDER.

- CAN I ASK WHY YOU WERE IN MASON, MA'AM?

- I'M HERE TO KILL MYSELF.

- NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME

FOR YOU TO OBTAIN LEGAL COUNSEL.

- BUT LEO TOOK ALL MY MONEY.

I HAVE NOTHING LEFT.

- THE COURT WILL APPOINT YOU AN ATTORNEY.

WE'RE GONNA NEED TO DETAIN YOU UNTIL THEN.

MA'AM. - [sighs]

[upbeat music]

- THE SUPREME COURT RULED FOUR DECADES AGO

THAT PORNOGRAPHY IS LEGAL FOR CONSENTING ADULTS

TO CONSUME IN THE PRIVACY OF THEIR OWN HOME.

EVEN SO, THIS ISSUE CONTINUES TO SHARPLY DIVIDE OUR COUNTRY.

AMONG THESE ANTI-SMUT CRUSADERS

IS PORNOGRAPHY EXPERT MICHAEL CLARK.

NOW, MR. CLARK,

YOU BELIEVE THAT A CASUAL USER

OF PORNOGRAPHY, EVEN IN THE PRIVACY

OF THEIR OWN HOME,

IS HELPING TO DESTROY OUR SOCIETY?

- NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT. - YES, YOU DID.

- NO, I DIDN'T.

I SAID I DIDN'T WANT YOU JERKING OFF IN THE LIVING ROOM.

- WHAT?

I CONTINUED TO DENY MY BOARDER'S ACCUSATIONS,

UNTIL HE PROVIDED US WITH THIS VIDEO HE MADE

BY PRESETTING HIS COMPUTER.

[muttering]

- THERE'S A MONSTER IN MY BEDROOM.

- AAH! MALCOLM!

IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS

SINCE MY ROOMMATE MR. CLARK MADE THE VERY REASONABLE REQUEST

THAT I REFRAIN FROM MASTURBATING IN THE PUBLIC AREAS

OF OUR LIVING SPACE.

BECAUSE I'M A DISGUSTING PIG!

A PATHETIC DIVORCED, MAN-PIG!

WITH PARTIAL CUSTODY OF A FOUR-YEAR-OLD SON!

WHO THINKS I MASTURBATE FOR A LIVING!

THIS IS ME!

I LOATHE ME!

EVERY [bleep] INCH OF ME!

ME! [bleep] ME!

YAA-YAA-YAAAA!

I'M EDWARD SHEATH.

SHAME ON ME.

- WOW.

YOUR MOM MURDERED LEO?

- LOOKS LIKE IT.

- THAT'S SO COOL.

YOU HAVE A MURDERER FOR A MOM.

- YEAH.

I THOUGHT DAVE DID IT. - YEAH.

- ME?

I THOUGHT YOU DID IT.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MOST FITS THE PROFILE.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU'VE ACTUALLY MURDERED SOMEONE BEFORE.

- MANSLAUGHTER ISN'T MURDER.

- IT'S TRUE,

YOU DID STRANGLE A TEENAGER.

- THAT'S NICE.

[alarm ringing]

- WONDER WHAT'S GOING ON?

- SORRY, NATHAN.

OBVIOUSLY, UH, SUICIDES HAPPEN HERE ALL THE TIME.

- DETECTIVE? GUYS?

I HAVE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

THIS IS SURVEILLANCE TAPE WE JUST RECOVERED

FROM THE BRIDGE THAT NIGHT.

PLAY IT DOWN, MIKE.

all: [screaming]

- SORRY, IGNORE THAT.

GO FORWARD, MIKE, IT'S COMING UP.

- WOW.

- I GOTTA TELL YOU.

I'VE SEEN A LOT OF SUICIDES, BUT NEVER ONE LIKE THAT.

THAT'S [bleep] UP.

[sniffs]

YOU THREE ARE FREE TO GO.

THIS INVESTIGATION'S CLOSED.

- THANK YOU, DETECTIVE.

MIKE, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP.

- OH, DON'T FORGET YOUR STUFF.

- OH. - UH, BAG OF PLACEBOS.

- THANKS.

- HANDGUN. - I'LL GIVE THAT TO DAVE.

- SHOW KNIFE. - SHOW KNIFE.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- I'M--I'M JUST

REALLY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW.

[eerie piano music]

*

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - NOTHING.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU WERE MAKING A FACE.

- NO, I WASN'T. - YES, YOU WERE.

YOU WERE GOING...

- NO. - YOU WEREN'T JUST DOING THIS?

- NO, I WASN'T.

- DO THAT RIGHT NOW.

- MR. BENJAMIN, YOU'RE FREE TO GO.

- ALL RIGHT.

- ENJOY MASON. - YEAH, WHATEVER.

[eerie piano music]

[soothing acoustic guitar]

*

[soothing acoustic guitar]

*