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1
00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:06,403
HOW ONE FAMILY'S
TERRIBLE TRAGEDY
2
00:00:06,433 --> 00:00:07,873
HAS FINALLY PAID DIVIDENDS.
3
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:09,600
TERROR ON THE ROADWAYS.
4
00:00:09,633 --> 00:00:11,203
YOU'RE GONNA BE SHOCKED
AT WHAT CAUSES
5
00:00:11,233 --> 00:00:13,673
80% OF THE ACCIDENTS
ON THE ROAD TODAY.
6
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,600
AND WE'LL SPEAK TO
THE CONTROVERSIAL AUTHOR
7
00:00:15,633 --> 00:00:18,373
OF THE PEDOPHILE'S GUIDE TO
MAKING MILLIONS IN REAL ESTATE.
8
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,930
BUT DOES HIS SYSTEM WORK?
9
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:24,097
ALL THIS AND MORE ON TONIGHT'S
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.
10
00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:26,773
[exciting music]
11
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,030
- [grunts]
12
00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:31,367
*
13
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,130
- [sighs]
14
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,767
[device beeps]
15
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,030
[explosion]
16
00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:45,067
*
17
00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:50,097
- IN 2008,
DAVID AND JANICE RANDALL
18
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,273
HAD A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL,
CANDICE.
19
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:55,030
A YEAR AFTER,
A TRAGIC ACCIDENT OCCURRED,
20
00:00:55,067 --> 00:00:57,967
LEAVING CANDICE IN A COMA.
21
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,800
IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS NOW,
22
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:04,073
AND THE PARENTS ARE STILL
STRUGGLING TO COPE.
23
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,870
SO HOW HAS IT BEEN?
24
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:14,930
- I MEAN, WE WERE NOT WELL OFF
WHEN THIS HAPPENED...
25
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:16,667
TO CANDICE,
SO IT'S JUST LIKE,
26
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,530
YOU KNOW,
ONE THING ON TOP OF THE NEXT.
27
00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:21,427
THE GOOD THING IS
WE HAD SO MANY PEOPLE HELP OUT.
28
00:01:21,467 --> 00:01:22,567
YOU KNOW?
29
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,530
LETTERS OF SUPPORT,
DONATING THEIR TIME.
30
00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:26,897
PEOPLE HAVE...
31
00:01:26,933 --> 00:01:29,673
JUST BEEN SO GENEROUS.
- YEAH.
32
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:32,630
- WHAT'S EVEN MORE SHOCKING
THAN THE RANDALL SITUATION
33
00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:35,367
IS THAT ONLY 20 YARDS AWAY
ON THE SAME BLOCK
34
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,800
IS ANOTHER HOUSEHOLD DEALING
WITH THE EXACT SAME TRAGEDY--
35
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:40,173
ANOTHER BABY IN A COMA.
36
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,330
I'VE JUST SPOKEN TO
THE RANDALLS.
37
00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:44,867
HOW HAS IT BEEN FOR YOU?
38
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,170
- OUR LIVES HAVE
COMPLETELY CHANGED.
39
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,400
- IT'S BEEN GREAT.
40
00:01:47,433 --> 00:01:49,473
IT'S JUST BEEN AN INCREDIBLE
YEAR AND A HALF.
41
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,400
- IT'S BEEN--
IT'S BEEN GREAT?
42
00:01:51,433 --> 00:01:52,373
- I MEAN, ONCE WE STARTED
TELLING PEOPLE
43
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,470
ABOUT JEREMY AND HIS COMA,
44
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,670
MONEY AND GIFTS,
DONATIONS,
45
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:57,600
UH, TV APPEARANCES,
46
00:01:57,633 --> 00:02:00,133
WHICH LEADS TO
MORE MONEY AND GIFTS.
47
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,967
UM, OH, [bleep],
WE GOTTA SHOW HIM THE POOL.
48
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:03,597
DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE POOL?
49
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,127
- THE POOL.
- WHOA.
50
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,827
- YEAH, HUH?
- IT'S REALLY NICE.
51
00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:10,667
- BRAND NEW, HEATED.
UM, WE ACTUALLY JUST BOUGHT
52
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,430
A THIRD OF AN ACRE ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT WALL...
53
00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:14,167
- DO YOU THINK
IT'S A STRANGE COINCIDENCE
54
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,200
THAT YOUR BABY SUFFERED
THE SAME FATE
55
00:02:16,233 --> 00:02:18,573
AS THE RANDALLS' BABY,
AND YOU GUYS LIVE
56
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,830
BASICALLY ACROSS THE STREET
FROM EACH OTHER?
57
00:02:20,867 --> 00:02:22,127
- COINCIDENCE?
NO. NO.
58
00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:23,727
NO, WE GOT THE IDEA
FROM THE RANDALLS.
59
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:27,297
SEE, WE SAW HOW BENEFICIAL,
UH, A BABY IN A COMA
60
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:28,503
WAS FOR THE RANDALLS,
61
00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:30,073
AND WE DECIDED
WE WANTED TO GET ONE.
62
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:33,827
- SO YOU FOUND A PLACE WHERE YOU
COULD OBTAIN A BABY IN A COMA?
63
00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:35,667
- ADOPT.
- ADOPT.
64
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:46,667
[gunshot, distant scream]
65
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,430
- [exhales]
66
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:50,397
- WE TRAVELED
TO NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT
67
00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:52,333
TO TALK TO THE RYAN FAMILY.
68
00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:56,067
- TWINS. UH, TWO BABIES,
BOTH IN COMAS.
69
00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:57,527
A BROTHER AND SISTER.
70
00:02:57,567 --> 00:03:00,927
UM, WE HAVE A BOOK DEAL
AND A TV SHOW IN THE WORKS.
71
00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:03,167
AND WE MET THE VICE-PRESIDENT.
72
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,770
- UH, WHY WOULD PEOPLE DO THIS?
73
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,730
- I MEAN, WHY WOULD PEOPLE
EXPLOIT INNOCENT BABIES IN COMAS
74
00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:10,427
FOR FINANCIAL GAIN?
I MEAN,
75
00:03:10,467 --> 00:03:12,927
HONESTLY, I MEAN, HAVE YOU
NO DECENCY? I--REALLY.
76
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:14,327
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
77
00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:16,527
I TAKE CARE OF TWO BABIES
IN COMAS EVERY DAY. DO YOU?
78
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:18,197
BECAUSE UNLESS YOU DO,
79
00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:20,273
I WOULD BE HESITANT TO
PASS JUDGMENT ON THOSE THAT DO.
80
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,700
- UH, CAN YOU
ANSWER THE QUESTION?
81
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,830
- WHAT AN ASS [bleep].
82
00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:28,097
- THAT'S MY HUSBAND.
83
00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:29,803
- I KNOW, I MEAN,
HE'S PROBABLY NICE.
84
00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:34,097
[sensual music]
85
00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:35,073
- [laughs]
86
00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:43,197
*
87
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,900
SO WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELVES
IN FIVE YEARS?
88
00:03:48,933 --> 00:03:50,773
- TOGETHER.
89
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,570
YOU KNOW, AS A FAMILY.
90
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,070
MAKIN' MONEY.
91
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,127
UH, SO I THINK WE'LL PROBABLY DO
A LITTLE--A LITTLE TRAVELING.
92
00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:58,367
- [baby cries]
93
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:00,767
[crying]
94
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,300
- OH, MY GOD!
95
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,403
[gasps]
[crying continues]
96
00:04:05,433 --> 00:04:07,303
- [Bleep].
97
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,670
- SO I'M STANDING HERE
IN DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN,
98
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,770
AND I'M GOING TO GO INTO
THIS SURVEILLANCE SHOP
99
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,470
WHICH SPECIALIZES
IN SURVEILLANCE EQUIPMENT.
100
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,470
AND I'M GOING TO TRY AND
STEAL SOMETHING FROM THEM.
101
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,470
[ominous music]
102
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:26,230
*
103
00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:32,573
HOW YOU DOING?
104
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:38,600
[indistinct chatter]
105
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:47,403
[dramatic music]
106
00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:51,633
*
107
00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:55,903
- OKAY.
I CAN COME BY.
108
00:04:55,933 --> 00:04:57,373
- OKAY, GREAT.
109
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,470
- SIR, DID YOU--CAN I SEE
WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR POCKET?
110
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,130
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
MY CELL PHONE.
111
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,067
- JUST YOUR CELL PHONE?
- YEAH.
112
00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:04,067
- 'CAUSE I SAW YOU
TAKING SOMETHING.
113
00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:05,067
- OH, YOU DID?
114
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:06,167
YOU SAW ME.
115
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,300
DID YOU SEE ME TAKE THIS?
- I SEE IT NOW.
116
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,073
- THIS ONE.
- YES.
117
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:10,227
CAN YOU PLEASE RETURN IT?
118
00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:11,327
- I--
- JAVAN!
119
00:05:11,367 --> 00:05:12,367
- DO YOU HAVE IT ON CAMERA?
120
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,670
- YES, I DO,
ACTUALLY.
121
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,830
- THAT'S TAPING IT.
- HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?
122
00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:17,067
- JAVAN!
- I--I--
123
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,630
- JAVAN!
[indistinct female voice]
124
00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:20,327
- [speaking Hebrew]
125
00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:21,767
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SPEAK HEBREW FOR THIS.
126
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,370
IT'S A MISUNDERSTANDING.
I WAS--
127
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,200
- IT'S NOT A MATTER OF HEBREW.
128
00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:27,373
- IT'S A MISUNDERSTANDING
BECAUSE WE--
129
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,070
WE HAVE IT ALSO ON CAMERA.
130
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,427
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE IT
ALSO ON CAMERA?
131
00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:33,497
- WE HAVE IT ON CAMERA,
AS WELL.
132
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,673
WE'VE BEEN DOING SURVEILLANCE
ON YOU AS WELL.
133
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:37,770
- SO IT'S A--
- IT'S A DOUBLE SURVEILLANCE,
134
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,230
BASICALLY.
135
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:40,467
ARE YOU THE OWNER?
136
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,970
- YES.
- YES, HE IS THE OWNER.
137
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,067
- HEY, I'M JON...
138
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:44,767
BENJAMIN.
- SO--
139
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,230
- OH.
140
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:50,067
- [speaking Hebrew]
141
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:53,327
- I WAS TRYING TO, UH,
STEAL SOMETHING
142
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:56,297
FROM A SURVEILLANCE SHOP
JUST FOR FUN.
143
00:06:04,967 --> 00:06:08,327
I'M SORRY I TRIED TO STEAL
FROM YOUR SURVEILLANCE SHOP.
144
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,067
- [laughing]
OKAY.
145
00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:11,067
YOU GOT CAUGHT.
- ALL RIGHT.
146
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,697
- I DID. I'M SORRY.
147
00:06:18,367 --> 00:06:20,927
- DRIVING. EVERYBODY DOES IT.
IN FACT,
148
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:22,527
I'M DRIVING RIGHT NOW.
149
00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:25,097
BUT DRIVING CAN BE
EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
150
00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:27,803
LAST YEAR ALONE,
THERE WERE OVER 50,000 DEATHS
151
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:29,633
AS A RESULT OF CAR ACCIDENTS.
152
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:33,597
80% OF THOSE WERE
A DIRECT RESULT OF THIS--
153
00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:39,433
ORAL SEX WHILE DRIVING.
154
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:42,067
OR WHAT SOME CALL O.S.D.
155
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,897
OOH.
OR WHAT OTHERS CALL...
156
00:06:44,933 --> 00:06:46,933
ROAD HEAD.
157
00:06:46,967 --> 00:06:49,097
[R&B music]
158
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:52,433
*
159
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,373
- SO IT HAPPENED HERE.
160
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,830
THE CAR, IT VEERED OFF THIS WAY
AND CRASHED INTO THIS TREE.
161
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:01,267
- WOW.
AND YOU WERE IN THE CAR?
162
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,470
- YEAH.
I WAS ASLEEP IN THE BACKSEAT,
163
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,270
AND MY MOTHER
WAS IN THE FRONT SEAT,
164
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,670
GIVING MY FATHER ROAD HEAD.
165
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:09,500
- HOW HAS THIS
AFFECTED YOUR LIFE?
166
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,303
- WELL,
I DON'T HAVE PARENTS ANYMORE.
167
00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,433
- YEAH,
BUT BESIDES THAT.
168
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:17,227
- UM, WELL,
I CAN'T FALL ASLEEP IN CARS.
169
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,867
AND I ALSO CAN'T
PERFORM ORAL SEX
170
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:22,130
ON SOMEONE WHO'S DRIVING.
- WOW.
171
00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:24,667
IT'S BEEN OVER THREE MINUTES
OF ME RECEIVING ROAD HEAD,
172
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:28,170
AND WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YOU CAN REALLY FEEL
173
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,770
HOW IT CAN IMPAIR
YOUR ABILITY TO DRIVE.
174
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,870
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN, UH, THROWING
MY HEAD BACK A LOT, AND--
175
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:35,730
THE SENSATION ALONE
IS REALLY--
176
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,367
IT'S DIFFICULT TO CONCEN--
[thud]
177
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,170
[tires screech]
178
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,970
- JESUS.
WHAT THE [bleep]?
179
00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:41,967
- WHAT HAPPENED?
180
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:43,327
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- WHAT HAPPENED?
181
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,567
- WHAT HAPPENED?
182
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,470
- I DON'T KNOW, I--
I THINK I HIT SOMETHING.
183
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,630
[Bleep].
184
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,097
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- OH, NO.
185
00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,167
- WHAT IS IT?
186
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,630
OH, MY GOD.
[Bleep].
187
00:07:57,667 --> 00:07:58,867
- IT'S A PONY.
188
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,170
- OH, MY GOD,
WE HIT A PONY.
189
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,200
[microphone thumps]
- IS THAT BAD LUCK?
190
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,733
- YES.
191
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:06,127
- JON.
192
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:08,767
[ominous music]
IT'S AN OLD GYPSY WOMAN.
193
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,500
SHE MUST HAVE BEEN
RIDING THE PONY.
194
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,073
- OH, NO, DAVE, NO.
195
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,497
OH, MY GOD.
196
00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:15,873
IS HITTING A GYPSY BAD LUCK?
197
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,400
- YES.
198
00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:18,873
- NO!
199
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,800
SIMZA!
MY LOVE!
200
00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:24,473
NO...
201
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,070
YOU...
202
00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:28,567
KILLED HER.
203
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,100
- NO.
204
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:31,933
YOU KILLED MY SIMZA.
205
00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,367
- NO, I--I DIDN'T, SIR.
I'M SORRY--
206
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,670
- I...CURSE YOU!
207
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,930
[ominous music]
208
00:08:38,967 --> 00:08:40,667
- YOU WHAT?
YOU CURSE ME?
209
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,600
- YES, I CURSE YOU.
210
00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:43,673
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
211
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,370
- TERRIBLE EPISODE.
212
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,300
- [laughing]
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
213
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,503
I DON'T BELIEVE
IN CURSES, SIR,
214
00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:51,973
SO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO
TO MOURN YOUR LOSS...
215
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:54,667
I'M SORRY I KILLED YOUR WIFE,
OR MOTHER, OR WHATEVER,
216
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,130
BUT I DON'T--
217
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,967
- THE CURSE
OF THE TERRIBLE EPISODE!
218
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,797
- OKAY. TERRIBLE EPISODE,
LIKE A HEART ATTACK,
219
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,973
OR TERRIBLE EPISODE
LIKE THIS SHOW?
220
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:07,927
- TERRIBLE EPISODE,
THE SHOW.
221
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,167
- LOOK,
THIS IS SILLY.
222
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,130
- [laughing]
YES.
223
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:15,527
- YES, WHAT?
224
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:20,497
- YOU CANNOT ESCAPE CURSE.
225
00:09:20,533 --> 00:09:22,733
- YES, I CAN,
'CAUSE THERE IS NONE.
226
00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:23,827
- YES, THERE IS.
227
00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:25,497
- NO, THERE ISN'T.
- YES, THERE IS.
228
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:27,633
- [imitates accent]
NO, THERE ISN'T.
229
00:09:32,933 --> 00:09:33,973
WHAT?
230
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:35,497
- YOU SEE?
231
00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,727
- WHAT DO I SEE?
232
00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:40,467
- TERRIBLE EPISODE
ALREADY HAPPENING.
233
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:41,570
[chimes]
234
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,430
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
235
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:46,067
- [laughing]
THIS LONG, BORING CONVERSATION
236
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:48,167
IS TERRIBLE!
237
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,400
- YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT,
WE--WE SHOULD GO.
238
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:50,373
WE'RE LEAVING.
239
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,100
- [groans]
- OKAY, I GOT IT.
240
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,803
- [maniacal laugh]
241
00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:57,703
- YOU CURSED US, WE GET IT.
- [laughs]
242
00:09:57,733 --> 00:10:03,303
TERRIBLE EPISODE!
243
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:07,433
[laughter]
244
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:08,827
- OH, MAN.
245
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:10,127
THAT WAS SO STUPID.
246
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:11,527
ONE LESS GYPSY, RIGHT?
247
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:13,727
[laughter]
248
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:16,667
- HEY, GUYS, MY GRANDMOTHER
WAS PART GYPSY, OKAY?
249
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:20,067
- WAS SHE KILLED BY A VAN?
250
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:25,270
[raucous laughter]
251
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,470
I MEAN, I'M SORRY
I HIT THE WOMAN,
252
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,600
BUT, I MEAN,
COME ON.
253
00:10:27,633 --> 00:10:32,073
WE GET OURSELVES
IN SOME CRAZY SITUATIONS, RIGHT?
254
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:34,727
[gasps]
255
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:37,427
- TERRIBLE EPISODE.
EVERY CLICHE!
256
00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:40,727
- [panting]
257
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:44,597
OH, IT WAS A DREAM.
258
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:48,773
WAIT, WAKING UP AND REALIZING
IT WAS ALL A DREAM.
259
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,570
THAT IS A CLICHE.
260
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,870
AND IN VOICEOVER?
UGH, TERRIBLE.
261
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,330
[yawns]
262
00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:04,797
- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
263
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:07,403
- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
264
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:09,573
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT
MY ANNIVERSARY.
265
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,870
[laugh track]
266
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:15,870
- DAD, YOU OVERSLEPT.
[laugh track]
267
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:18,370
- I SHOULD BE TELLING YOU THAT,
SON.
268
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,370
[laugh track]
269
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,930
WAIT A MINUTE,
I'M NOT MARRIED.
270
00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:28,267
I DON'T HAVE A KID.
[whimsical music]
271
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,470
I DON'T SMOKE.
272
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:31,600
- DAD!
273
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:36,933
- OH, TO BE 11 AGAIN.
NO STRESS, NO BILLS,
274
00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:39,097
NO ANNIVERSARIES TO REMEMBER.
[magical chimes]
275
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:42,973
- I WISH I WAS OLDER, SO I COULD
HAVE A COOL BEARD TOO.
276
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:49,330
both: I WISH I WAS HIM
FOR JUST ONE DAY.
277
00:11:56,900 --> 00:12:00,070
[coughing]
278
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,297
- OH, MY GOD.
279
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,303
[eerie music]
280
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:08,903
*
281
00:12:08,933 --> 00:12:10,133
[chuckles]
282
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:13,427
[coughing]
WELL, I'M OFF TO SCHOOL.
283
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:14,297
BYE, MOM.
284
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:17,373
BYE, DAD.
[laugh track]
285
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:21,300
[coughs]
286
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:24,933
- I SHOULD NEVER HAVE HIT
THAT GYPSY'S PONY.
287
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,670
- TERRIBLE EPISODE.
EVERY CLICHE!
288
00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:36,633
- [sighs]
289
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:39,827
I HATE THIS STUPID CURSE!
290
00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:42,827
[dramatic music]
291
00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:49,297
*
292
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,803
- [screams]
293
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:52,673
- OOF!
294
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,530
OH, GOD.
ANOTHER GYPSY WOMAN?
295
00:12:56,567 --> 00:13:00,267
- YOU MURDERED ANOTHER GYPSY.
296
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:04,400
THIS TIME YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO GET AWAY WITH IT.
297
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:05,873
[sirens whoop]
298
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,430
- COME ON!
299
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:12,567
- YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS.
[grunts]
300
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,470
COME ON.
JUST STOP THIS.
301
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:18,970
LET ME GO!
YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.
302
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:21,067
CAN WE PLEASE JUST STOP THIS,
GYPSY?
303
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,167
- [maniacal laugh]
304
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,470
- THIS WHOLE THING IS BECAUSE
A GYPSY CURSED MY SHOW.
305
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,070
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
I'M NOT EVEN A LITTLE BOY,
306
00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:31,167
I'M A GROWN MAN!
307
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,630
AW, COME ON!
308
00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:38,627
[soft music]
309
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:46,597
*
310
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,367
- HI, DAD.
311
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,930
- [sighs]
SON.
312
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,667
I'M GLAD YOU CAME TO SEE ME.
313
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:07,230
- OF COURSE, DAD.
314
00:14:07,267 --> 00:14:11,527
I'M SORRY WE COULD NEVER
SWITCH BACK AGAIN.
315
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:14,927
- IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.
316
00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:18,067
- I LOVE YOU.
317
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,397
- YEAH. WHATEVER.
318
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:24,797
- IT'S TIME.
319
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:26,473
- LET'S DO IT.
320
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:30,130
[dramatic music]
321
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,967
- STAY STRONG, JON.
- THANKS, BRIAN.
322
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:35,567
- PONY MURDERER!
323
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,270
- GYPSY HATER!
324
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:41,230
- PEDOPHILE!
- HEY, I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE.
325
00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:43,827
- NO. ME.
I'M A PEDOPHILE.
326
00:14:43,867 --> 00:14:46,127
- OH.
327
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:50,267
I DON'T WANT TO DIE THIS WAY.
- [maniacal laughter]
328
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,270
- I DON'T WANT TO DIE
THIS WAY!
329
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,230
I DON'T WANT
TO DIE THIS WAY!
330
00:14:54,267 --> 00:14:57,427
[gasps]
OH.
331
00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:58,797
OH, THANK GOD.
332
00:14:58,833 --> 00:15:02,603
- ADMINISTERING
LETHAL INJECTION NOW.
333
00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:04,633
[dramatic music]
334
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:07,667
- THANKS. I DIDN'T WANT TO DO
ELECTRIC CHAIR.
335
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:10,300
- NO PROBLEM.
336
00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:12,833
[dramatic music]
[screaming]
337
00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:18,597
*
338
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,600
- TERRIBLE EPISODE OVER.
339
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:36,067
- I'M JON BENJAMIN,
AND THIS IS HANG UP ON THEM.
340
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,397
[click, dial tone]
341
00:15:38,433 --> 00:15:40,803
[funky music]
342
00:15:40,833 --> 00:15:42,433
ARE YOU ON THE PHONE?
- YEAH, I AM.
343
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:43,567
- CAN YOU HANG UP ON THEM?
344
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,330
- UH, HANG UP ON THEM, WHY?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
345
00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:48,067
- JUST--
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
346
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:49,697
- UH, MY MANAGER.
347
00:15:49,733 --> 00:15:51,233
- OH. CAN YOU HANG UP?
348
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:52,497
- WHY? CAN--
349
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:54,073
- [muttering]
WE'RE ON HANG UP ON THEM.
350
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,470
[car horn]
- KATIE, I'M BEING ASKED
351
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,900
TO HANG UP ON YOU,
SO I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
352
00:15:57,933 --> 00:16:01,403
- OKAY.
- BY A TV CREW.
353
00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:03,073
I'M NOT...SURE WHY.
354
00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:05,597
- IT'S OKAY, JUST DO IT.
- OKAY, BYE.
355
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,667
- ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
WE GOT 'EM, RIGHT?
356
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,900
- WHAT?
- THAT WAS YOUR MANAGER?
357
00:16:09,933 --> 00:16:10,933
- YEAH.
- AND YOU HUNG UP.
358
00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:12,067
- YES.
- ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
359
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,827
THIS IS HANG UP ON THEM.
- UH-HUH.
360
00:16:13,867 --> 00:16:15,567
- THIS IS THE SHOW.
- OH!
361
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,630
THAT'S HILARIOUS.
362
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,727
[dial tone]
363
00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:20,067
- ARE YOU ON YOUR PHONE?
- YEAH.
364
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:21,067
- YOU WANT TO HANG UP?
- NO.
365
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,167
- CAN YOU HANG UP?
366
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,400
- LET ME CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.
367
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:25,633
- HANG UP ON 'EM.
368
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:27,597
- LET ME CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.
- HANG UP ON THEM.
369
00:16:27,633 --> 00:16:28,903
- WHAT'S UP?
- ALL RIGHT,
370
00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:30,173
YOU'RE ON HANG UP ON THEM,
AND YOU DID IT.
371
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,300
- OH, THAT'S IT.
- THAT'S IT, MAN, THANKS.
372
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:32,333
- NO WORRIES.
373
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,967
[dial tone]
374
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:35,127
- YOU GUYS JUST GO AROUND
375
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:36,797
TELLING PEOPLE TO HANG UP
THEIR PHONES?
376
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:37,933
- YEAH.
377
00:16:37,967 --> 00:16:39,367
- THAT'S SO MUCH FUN.
378
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,100
- CAN YOU HANG UP--
ARE YOU ON THE PHONE?
379
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,933
- YEAH, HOLD ON. SOMEBODY'S HERE
WITH A MICROPHONE.
380
00:16:42,967 --> 00:16:44,727
- YEAH, WHAT--
- CAN YOU HANG UP ON 'EM?
381
00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:46,927
- YEAH, WELL, I COULD STOP
THE CALL--WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
382
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:48,127
- LIKE HANG UP.
383
00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:49,297
- WHY?
- DID YOU HANG UP?
384
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,603
- YEAH. WHY?
385
00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:53,073
- WELL, WHO WAS THAT?
- THE GUY I WORK WITH, WHY?
386
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:54,267
- WELL, YOU JUST HUNG UP ON HIM.
- YEAH.
387
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,200
- ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
- YOU ASKED ME TO,
388
00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:56,533
DIDN'T YOU?
YES OR NO?
389
00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:57,867
- WELL, YEAH,
BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT.
390
00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,230
- WELL, I--IT WAS TIME.
391
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:00,767
- OH, GOOD. GOOD. WELL,
YOU'RE ON HANG UP ON THEM.
392
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,570
THAT'S--THIS IS MY SHOW.
- THAT'S RUDE.
393
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,670
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOUR SHOW?
WHO ARE YOU?
394
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,430
- I'M JUST THE HOST OF HANG UP
ON THEM, THE SHOW THAT--
395
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:09,367
THAT TRIES TO GET--
- ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?
396
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,930
[dial tone]
397
00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:12,767
- EXCUSE ME, SIR?
COULD I--
398
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:17,600
[ominous music]
- TERRIBLE EPISODE NOT OVER.
399
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:22,173
[maniacal laugh]
400
00:17:25,733 --> 00:17:29,073
- THIS WHOLE THING IS BECAUSE
A GYPSY CURSED MY SHOW.
401
00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:31,197
- THE CURSE
OF THE TERRIBLE EPISODE!
402
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:32,703
- YOU CURSED US,
WE GET IT.
403
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,703
- CAN WE PLEASE JUST
STOP THIS, GYPSY?
404
00:17:34,733 --> 00:17:37,873
- ADMINISTERING LETHAL INJECTION
NOW.
405
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:41,530
TERRIBLE EPISODE NOT OVER.
406
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:46,070
[upbeat music]
407
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,230
- [laughs]
408
00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:54,333
[slide whistle]
- [barking laugh]
409
00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:55,327
- HEY,
410
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,867
- [barks]
WOW!
411
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,230
WAH, WAH, WOW!
412
00:17:58,267 --> 00:18:00,327
OW!
[slide whistle and horn]
413
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,327
OOH!
[applause]
414
00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:02,827
WAH!
415
00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:04,197
WHOO! OH!
416
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:08,373
WHOO-HOO-HOO-WOW!
[blubbering and barking]
417
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:12,227
[toilet flushing]
418
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:14,867
- I'D GIVE IT A MINUTE.
- OH.
419
00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:17,297
[sniffs]
420
00:18:17,333 --> 00:18:19,073
[record scratch]
[flatulence]
421
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:25,067
- WHOA-O-O-O-OH!
[laugh track]
422
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:27,867
OH! OH!
423
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:32,900
WO-O-O-O-OW!
[laugh track]
424
00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:34,433
[ringing]
425
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,267
- HELLO?
- HEY, REACTION, IT'S MIKE.
426
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,970
UH, I'M STUCK IN TRAFFIC,
SO I'LL BE RUNNING LATE.
427
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:43,867
- WHA--
WHO-O-O-O-AH!
428
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:48,070
[screams and barks]
[laugh track]
429
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:50,597
[gasps]
AAH!
430
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,900
[record scratch]
431
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,303
[gasping]
432
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:59,633
[sad music]
433
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,097
- REACTION.
434
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:03,103
- THAT'S MY WIFE.
435
00:19:03,133 --> 00:19:04,333
- I DON'T--
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
436
00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:05,827
UH, I--
437
00:19:05,867 --> 00:19:08,497
I--I LOVE HER.
I HAVE FOR A YEAR.
438
00:19:08,533 --> 00:19:10,903
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE
YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
439
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:13,533
- YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE.
440
00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:15,067
- RE--REACTION--
441
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,700
HE NEEDED TO KNOW.
442
00:19:20,733 --> 00:19:24,473
AND YOU NEED TO KNOW...
THAT THIS WAS RIGHT, NOT WRONG.
443
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,070
- SHOOT.
444
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,330
- DON'T FEEL THAT WAY.
445
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:31,267
LET'S JUST CONTINUE.
- OKAY.
446
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,670
- OW...OKAY.
447
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:37,600
OH--
[both groan]
448
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:42,827
[dramatic music]
449
00:19:42,867 --> 00:19:50,727
*
450
00:19:50,767 --> 00:19:51,897
- THIS HAS TO STOP.
451
00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:55,403
- WHAT? THE DRESS?
I DIDN'T DO THAT.
452
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:59,203
- LOOK, GYPSY,
JUST STOP THIS EPISODE.
453
00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:02,203
- WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S TERRIBLE?
454
00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:03,903
- I JUST WANT IT TO END,
SO I'M BEGGING YOU,
455
00:20:03,933 --> 00:20:05,773
JUST--
I'LL DO ANYTHING.
456
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,530
JUST...
TELL ME HOW TO END IT.
457
00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:12,567
- WELL,
THERE IS ONLY ONE THING
458
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:17,030
THAT CAN END THE CURSE
OF THE TERRIBLE EPISODE.
459
00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:20,897
- GREAT. I'LL DO IT.
ANYTHING. TELL ME.
460
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:29,727
- IT'S COMING.
461
00:20:29,767 --> 00:20:32,297
- WHAT'S COMING?
462
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:33,633
YOU JUST SAID
YOU WERE GONNA TELL ME.
463
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,627
YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL ME?
464
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,027
- IT WILL HAPPEN.
465
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:40,527
- [laughs]
WHAT?
466
00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:42,297
- IT'S COMING.
467
00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:44,173
- GYPSY, ARE YOU [bleep]
WITH ME, OR NOT?
468
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,670
- OH, NO!
- YES, YOU ARE.
469
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:46,830
- [laughing]
OH, NO-HO-HO, NO.
470
00:20:46,867 --> 00:20:49,727
NO.
THE CURSE...
471
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:53,197
WILL BE OVER VERY SOON.
472
00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:56,027
- WHEN?
473
00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:57,497
- IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
474
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,800
- [moans]
- IRENE?
475
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,203
- DAVID,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
476
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:12,073
- HOW COULD YOU?
- DON'T TELL YOUR FATHER, OKAY?
477
00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:13,367
- [maniacal laugh]
478
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,070
- WAIT,
HOW IS THIS PART OF THE CURSE?
479
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,727
- IT'S NOT. I JUST WANTED
TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE.
480
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:20,367
- YOU'RE AN ASS [bleep].
32262
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