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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,600 - TONIGHT ON JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN. 2 00:00:04,633 --> 00:00:06,503 WHAT IMPORTANT PIECE OF CULTURAL HISTORY 3 00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:08,703 IS THIS MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR? 4 00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:11,403 IS THE AMERICAN MUSICAL IN DANGER OF EXTINCTION? 5 00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:14,303 WE'LL TALK TO ONE OF BROADWAY'S MOST INNOVATIVE PRODUCERS. 6 00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:16,203 AND WE'LL MEET CHAN HO. 7 00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:18,603 WHO MANY CLAIM TO BE THE WORLD'S LOUDEST WAITRESS. 8 00:00:18,633 --> 00:00:19,603 - [yelling] WHAT? 9 00:00:19,633 --> 00:00:23,973 [yelling in Chinese] 10 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,970 - ALL THIS AND MORE ON TONIGHT'S JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN. 11 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,970 [dramatic newscast music] 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:31,970 * 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,770 - [grunts] 14 00:00:36,367 --> 00:00:37,697 - [sighs] 15 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,433 [bomb beeping] 16 00:00:39,467 --> 00:00:41,797 [explosion] 17 00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:52,133 [birds chirping] 18 00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:55,627 [somber classical music] 19 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,627 - IN 1973, 46-YEAR-OLD LARRY HEARST, 20 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,627 A CITY ENGINEER LIVING IN CRANSTON, RHODE ISLAND 21 00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,167 HAD A DREAM OF BECOMING FAMOUS. 22 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,670 AT A COOKOUT, 23 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,630 HE TURNED TO HIS NEIGHBOR GERALD DEGRAS, 24 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,067 AND PURPORTEDLY SAID, 25 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,670 - HEY... 26 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:10,800 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU GAVE YOUR WIFE 27 00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:13,303 THE OLD HOT DOG IN THE [bleep]. 28 00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,203 - LARRY DIDN'T KNOW IT THEN, 29 00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:16,303 BUT HE HAD BEGUN HIS JOURNEY TOWARDS COINING 30 00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:18,873 ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PHRASES EVER 31 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,270 IN AMERICA'S HISTORY. 32 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,600 BUT LARRY HEARST KNEW HE WAS ON TO SOMETHING 33 00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:25,103 AND TRIED AGAIN JUST ONE WEEK LATER. 34 00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:27,103 HE HAD HEARD A FRIEND OF HIS WAS DATING A WOMAN 35 00:01:27,133 --> 00:01:28,973 WHO WORKED WITH THEM AND SAID, 36 00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,897 - I HEARD YOU'RE SLIPPIN' SALLY ANDREWS 37 00:01:30,933 --> 00:01:33,073 THE OL' HOT DOG INJECTION. 38 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,130 - HIS FRIEND WAS CONFUSED AND VAGUELY OFFENDED, 39 00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:38,167 AND LARRY WAS DISHEARTENED. 40 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,230 TWO NIGHTS LATER ON THE VERGE OF GIVING UP, 41 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,127 LARRY DECIDED TO MAKE ONE FINAL ATTEMPT 42 00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,767 AT HIS PHRASE. 43 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,870 WHILE BOWLING, LARRY TURNED TO HIS FRIEND FRANK WILLIAMS, 44 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,270 GESTURING TOWARD THE WOMAN WHO WORKED 45 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,830 AT THE COUNTER AND SAID, 46 00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:51,297 - HOW ABOUT HER? 47 00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:54,073 I BET YOU WOULDN'T MIND GIVING HER A HOT BEEF INJECTION. 48 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:58,097 [dramatic music] 49 00:01:58,133 --> 00:02:01,073 - [laughs] 50 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,100 [laughter] 51 00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:06,103 [triumphant music] 52 00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,533 - [slowed laughter] 53 00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:12,627 - [slowed] HOT BEEF INJECTION. 54 00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,927 - I REMEMBER HIM COMING HOME THAT NIGHT 55 00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:16,067 AND BEING REALLY HAPPY, 56 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,227 LIKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENED. 57 00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:20,197 DAD SAID IT FOR THE FIRST TIME TO SOMEONE, 58 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,073 AND MADE THEM LAUGH. 59 00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:22,367 - MM. 60 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,370 - FROM THERE, THINGS GOT PRETTY CRAZY. 61 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,830 [upbeat music] 62 00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:30,597 - THINGS DID GET PRETTY CRAZY 63 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:31,903 AS THE PHRASE "HOT BEEF INJECTION" 64 00:02:31,933 --> 00:02:33,603 SPREAD LIKE A FIRESTORM. 65 00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:37,303 BECOMING MUCH BIGGER THAN IN LARRY'S WILDEST FANTASIES. 66 00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:38,603 - IT DIDN'T CHANGE OUR LIVES MUCH, 67 00:02:38,633 --> 00:02:41,333 BUT IT DEFINITELY AFFECTED MY DAD. 68 00:02:41,367 --> 00:02:42,827 HE WAS SAYING IT A LOT AND AT THAT TIME 69 00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,227 HE WAS DRINKING A LOT AS WELL. 70 00:02:44,267 --> 00:02:46,297 SO WHEN HE DRANK HE SAID IT EVEN MORE. 71 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,973 - DID HE EVER SAY IT TO YOU? 72 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,227 - OH, GOD, NO. 73 00:02:49,267 --> 00:02:51,067 HE NEVER SAID IT TO ME, I WAS TOO YOUNG. 74 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,067 - WHAT WAS IT THAT HE SAID? 75 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,430 - "HOT BEEF INJECTION." 76 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:58,567 - [laughs] 77 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,330 SAY--SAY IT AGAIN. 78 00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:04,267 - [shakily] "HOT BEEF INJECTION." 79 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,270 - [laughs] WHY ARE YOU CRYING? 80 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:09,570 - [cries] BECAUSE... 81 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,230 - SO THIS WAS LARRY'S LOCAL BAR? 82 00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:13,467 - YEAH, HE USED TO COME IN HERE A LOT. 83 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,900 LARRY WAS ALWAYS BRINGING ATTENTION TO THE FACT 84 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,903 THAT HE CAME UP WITH THE PHRASE. 85 00:03:16,933 --> 00:03:19,303 EVERYONE WAS GETTING TIRED OF HIM SAYING IT, THOUGH. 86 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,503 I MEAN, UNLESS YOU'RE EIGHT YEARS OLD 87 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,073 YOU'RE NOT GONNA BUST UP EVERY TIME YOU HEAR 88 00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:23,127 "HOT BEEF INJECTION." 89 00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:25,227 - [chuckles] 90 00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:26,967 SORRY. 91 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,167 BUT THE INITIAL RUSH OF FAME 92 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,400 PROVED TO BE TOO MUCH FOR LARRY, 93 00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,933 AND HE FOUND HIMSELF BROKE AND ADDICTED TO DRUGS. 94 00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:36,067 - I THINK LARRY FELT LIKE HE WAS UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE 95 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,200 TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW, 96 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:38,233 AND THAT'S WHEN HE COINED THE PHRASE 97 00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:40,797 HE WAS MOST WELL KNOWN FOR, 98 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:42,303 "GOD HATES [bleep]." 99 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:45,703 - "GOD HATES [bleep]" WAS HUGE FOR HIM. 100 00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:48,073 IT DEFINITELY PULLED HIM OUT OF A REALLY DARK PLACE. 101 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,200 IT ALSO BROUGHT HIM INTO A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE 102 00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:52,603 WHO SUPPORTED HIM, 103 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,603 AND REALLY APPRECIATED WHAT HE DID. 104 00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:58,273 AND HE NEVER GOT THAT WITH "HOT BEEF INJECTION." 105 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,600 - IN JUNE OF 1982, JUST ONE WEEK 106 00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:04,073 AFTER HE COINED THE PHRASE "GOT HATES [bleep]," 107 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,627 LARRY HEARST DIED TRAGICALLY 108 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,767 IN A SPEEDBOAT ACCIDENT. 109 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,400 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR FATHER'S LASTING LEGACY WILL BE? 110 00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,973 UM, "GOD HATES [bleep]," OR "HOT BEEF INJECTION?" 111 00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:15,627 - DEFINITELY "GOD HATES [bleep]." 112 00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,967 I MEAN, "HOT BEEF INJECTION" WAS LIKE MY FATHER'S 113 00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:20,367 MEET THE BEATLES. 114 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,170 WHILE "GOD HATES [bleep]" WAS LIKE HIS 115 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,600 SGT. PEPPER'S. 116 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:28,833 - YOU GOT THOSE MADE? 117 00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:29,967 - YES. 118 00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,267 - WOW. 119 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:37,370 YOU--THEY'RE GREAT. 120 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,200 [dramatic newscast music] 121 00:04:39,233 --> 00:04:41,773 [traditional accordion music] 122 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,927 - HELLO? 123 00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:50,427 - LOOK AT THIS. - HELLO. 124 00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:52,167 - OH. - THIS IS QUITE NICE. 125 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,130 - THIS IS NICE. 126 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,797 - EXCUSE ME. 127 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:56,103 - CAN WE HAVE, UH-- - GREAT. 128 00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:57,533 - IT HAS PIQUED OUR CURIOSITY. - YES! 129 00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:58,627 - GREAT. 130 00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:01,897 UM, THIS IS THE, UH, 77-INCH, UH, ISTANBUL. 131 00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:04,203 IT'S, UH, BLACK LEATHER. 132 00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:05,203 IT'S A GIO CLASS LEATHER, 133 00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:07,073 WHICH IS OUR BEST, AND UH-- 134 00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,267 - OKAY. 135 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,530 WELL, LET'S GET TO THE NITTY, UH, GRITTY 136 00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,067 AS THEY SAY. - YES. 137 00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:13,627 - AND, UH, WHAT IS THE PRICE? - WHAT IS THE COST OF THIS? 138 00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:17,167 - SO, UM, ACTUALLY THIS IS OUR LAST ONE OF THESE, SO IT'S-- 139 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,600 - THE FLOOR MODEL? - YEAH. 140 00:05:18,633 --> 00:05:22,433 AND IT'S NORMALLY 3,885, BUT IT'S, UH, 30% OFF. 141 00:05:22,467 --> 00:05:24,467 SO THAT BRINGS US DOWN TO ABOUT 3,150 OR SO. 142 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,930 - 3,150 FOR THIS COUCH. - YEP. 143 00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:29,927 - DOES THIS INCLUDE SHIPPING, DELIVERY, SET UP, ALL THAT? 144 00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:31,297 - UH, YEAH, YES. - IT DOES. 145 00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,903 - YES. - INCLUDING. 146 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:33,903 ONE SECOND. - ONE SECOND. 147 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,973 - WE'LL NEED TO DISCUSS THIS. 148 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,797 [conversing quietly] 149 00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,067 - WE WILL OFFER YOU, 150 00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:48,567 $4,150 FOR THE COUCH. 151 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,930 - INCLUDING THE PILLOWS. 152 00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:53,067 - I DON'T-- UM, I DON'T KNOW. 153 00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:54,067 I MEAN, WE DON'T-- 154 00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:56,097 - THAT'S OKAY, 4,600. 155 00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,103 - I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT-- 156 00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,173 THAT THE COUCH IS ON SALE, 157 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,770 THAT IT'S NOT-- 158 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,700 - I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND 159 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:03,973 THAT WE'LL PAY $5,000 FOR THE COUCH. 160 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,427 [cash register rings] 161 00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:08,197 MANY PEOPLE FEEL THAT JEWS ARE CONSTANTLY 162 00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:11,103 TRYING TO BARGAIN DOWN ON PRICE-- 163 00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:13,073 - HENCE THE PHRASE, "JEW THEM DOWN." 164 00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,097 - WE'RE GOING UP. - YEAH, BUT YOU'RE--YEAH. 165 00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,533 - YES. - THAT'S WHY I WAS... 166 00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:17,567 - YEAH, YOU'RE SURPRISED BY THAT. 167 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,770 - UH, YEAH. 168 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,170 - YOU DIDN'T EXPECT TWO JEWS TO COME IN HERE 169 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,730 AND TRY TO JEW YOU UP! 170 00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:24,267 - OUR ORGANIZATION IS CALLED "JEW THEM UP." 171 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:28,800 AND WHAT WE DO IS GO AROUND TO SHOPS, STORES, MALLS, 172 00:06:28,833 --> 00:06:29,973 ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, 173 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,827 AND WE OFFER THEM MORE. 174 00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,467 - I WOULD HAVE TO CHECK, 'CAUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW 175 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,070 IF I CAN TAKE MORE FOR IT. 176 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,330 - 6,000. 177 00:06:36,367 --> 00:06:38,527 - $6,000 AND WE'LL CALL IT A DEAL. 178 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,097 FINAL OFFER, $6,000. 179 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:45,573 - I MEAN, ALL RIGHT, THAT SOUNDS GOOD, I--ALL RIGHT. 180 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,300 - ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL-- both: JEW THEM UP! 181 00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:53,527 - WITH ALL THE ECONOMIC STRUGGLES 182 00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:54,867 OF THE PAST FEW YEARS, 183 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:57,070 ONE INDUSTRY THAT WAS HIT EXTREMELY HARD 184 00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,297 WAS BROADWAY. 185 00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:00,103 WITH TICKET SALES DROPPING, 186 00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:02,903 MANY BROADWAY PRODUCERS ARE TRYING NEW METHODS 187 00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:04,673 TO FILL SEATS. 188 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:05,930 - TWO YEARS AGO, 189 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:09,127 WE PUT UP $17 MILLION IN CAPITAL, 190 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,527 TO FINANCE "SPACE DOG," 191 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:14,927 A MUSICAL ABOUT LAIKA, THE FIRST DOG IN SPACE. 192 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,767 WITH MUSIC BY THE FOO FIGHTERS. 193 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,700 AND IT CLOSED AFTER TWO WEEKS. 194 00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:23,133 BUT, YOU KNOW, TIMES ARE TOUGH ON BROADWAY RIGHT NOW. 195 00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:25,567 - TWO YEARS AGO, I WOULD HAVE BEEN 196 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,600 TEN MINUTES TO CURTAIN RIGHT NOW. 197 00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:28,673 NOW I'M HERE AT HOME, 198 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,470 WAITING FOR ANY CALL TO GET BACK TO WORK. 199 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,070 - I REALLY LIKE YOUR HOME DRESSING ROOM, 200 00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:34,397 IT'S NICE. 201 00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:35,633 - UH, NO, THIS IS MY LIVING ROOM. 202 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,127 MY DRESSING ROOM IS A MUCH SMALLER VERSION 203 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:38,767 OF THIS UPSTAIRS. 204 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,930 - SO YOU HAVE A DRESSING ROOM THEMED LIVING ROOM. 205 00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:42,627 - I DO. 206 00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,567 - BROADWAY IS NOT SOME ANCIENT RELIC, YOU KNOW? 207 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,500 IT'S NOT SOME OLD WOMAN 208 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,103 IN AN APARTMENT FULL OF CATS WAITING TO DIE, IT IS-- 209 00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:52,373 IT'S A LIVING, BREATHING, ORGANISM THAT HAS TO EVOLVE. 210 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,770 AND WE NEED IT TO PUT UP A SHOW, 211 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,070 THAT BETTER REFLECTS PEOPLE'S LIVES, 212 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,497 AND NOW WE'RE FILLING SEATS AND IT'S WONDERFUL. 213 00:07:59,533 --> 00:08:01,573 - "THE HOUSE ON THE LAKE" IS BROADWAY'S 214 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,900 MOST INNOVATIVE NEW SHOW. 215 00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,633 "THE HOUSE ON THE LAKE" WILL SURPRISE YOU. 216 00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:12,067 [singing opera] 217 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,127 IT WILL TOUCH YOU. 218 00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:16,297 IT IS THE ONLY SHOW ON BROADWAY 219 00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,203 WHERE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO USE YOUR CELL PHONES 220 00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:19,973 DURING THE PERFORMANCE. 221 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,297 [cell phones ringing, beeping] 222 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,633 - I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. 223 00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:25,327 I COULD REALLY RELAX AND ENJOY THE PLAY 224 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,527 KNOWING I WASN'T GONNA MISS A CALL. 225 00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,067 - I'M IN SALES, AND I WAS ABLE TO TAKE 226 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,127 A COUPLE OF WORK CALLS. 227 00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:32,267 THAT WAS GREAT. 228 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,170 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 229 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,470 "HOUSE ON THE LAKE" IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. 230 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,730 PLEASE TURN YOUR CELL PHONES ON. 231 00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:40,467 [cell phones ringing, beeping] 232 00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,897 - ISN'T IT DISTRACTING TO THE ACTORS? 233 00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:48,673 - THE ACTORS BRING THEIR CELL PHONES ONSTAGE. 234 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,200 I THINK IT'S REFRESHING TO SEE AN ACTOR TAKE A CALL 235 00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:52,373 DURING A PERFORMANCE. 236 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,970 PRETTY SOON... [cell phone rings] 237 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,597 EVERY SHOW ON BROADWAY IS GOING TO ALLOW CELL PHONES. 238 00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:58,333 I MEAN, THEATER NEEDS TO BE A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE... 239 00:08:58,367 --> 00:08:59,667 [cell phone rings] - OH, SORRY, ONE SECOND. 240 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:01,500 - CAN LIVE THEIR LIVES AND NOT BE RESTRICTED... 241 00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:02,833 - HELLO? - HEY. 242 00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:05,227 I CAME OUT OF THE TINKLEBERRY AND THE VAN'S GONE. 243 00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:06,727 - WELL, WHAT HAPPENED? - I DON'T KNOW. 244 00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,097 WE PARKED AROUND FRONT. I GUESS IT GOT TOWED. 245 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,773 - YOU'RE KIDDING ME, WHY'D YOU GO TO TINKLEBERRY? 246 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,400 - BECAUSE I READ AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT IN MEN'S HEALTH. 247 00:09:14,433 --> 00:09:16,303 - OBVIOUSLY WE NEED THE VAN, WHERE'S DAVE? 248 00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:18,273 - I DON'T KNOW, I'LL CALL HIM. 249 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,670 - ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING DOWN. JESUS CHRIST. I GOTTA-- 250 00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,400 - ...SURFING ON THE MUSE THAT IS THEATER. 251 00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,133 I THINK IF--IF SHAKESPEARE HAD HAD CELL PHONES IN HIS TIME, 252 00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:24,697 HE WOULD HAVE NOT ONLY HAD THEM ON, 253 00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:27,473 HE WOULD HAVE REQUIRED EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE AUDIENCE 254 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,570 TO TAKE A CALL DURING THE SHOW! 255 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,570 I MEAN, IMAGINE-- 256 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,230 [dramatic newscast music] 257 00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:34,467 - SO WE WILL HAVE A HOT DOG 258 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:39,130 AND A SELTZER. 259 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:40,067 - HOW MUCH IS THAT? 260 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,400 - $2 EACH. 261 00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:45,873 - $2 FOR THE HOT DOG. - $2 FOR THIS HOT DOG? 262 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,500 - IT'S A SMALL HOT DOG. - YES. 263 00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:50,433 - WITH THE SELTZER HOW MUCH, TOTAL? 264 00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,327 - TWO MORE? SO TWO AND TWO. 265 00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:53,467 SO THAT'S $4. - $4. 266 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:57,470 - WE'LL GIVE YOU $20. - OKAY. 267 00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,070 - HEY, COULD YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS MUFFIN, PLEASE? 268 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,600 - IT'S A ZUCCHINI WITH BLUEBERRIES? 269 00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,603 - IT'S $2.45. - $2.45? 270 00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:04,573 - $2.45 FOR THIS MUFFIN? 271 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,230 - IS THAT A HOMEMADE MUFFIN, OR A-- 272 00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:09,067 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. - YOU DON'T KNOW. 273 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,400 [conversing quietly] 274 00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:13,103 - WE'LL GIVE YOU $5 FOR IT. - $5 FOR THE MUFFIN. 275 00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,403 - IT'S $2.45 276 00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:16,203 - ALL RIGHT, $6. $6, DON'T ANSWER. 277 00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:17,533 WE'LL GIVE YOU $6. 278 00:10:17,567 --> 00:10:19,127 - AND WE'LL ALSO TAKE AN EARL GREY TEA 279 00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,727 AND WE'LL MAKE IT AN EVEN $10. 280 00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:22,167 - I THINK THAT'S VERY FAIR. 281 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,370 - IT'S $10, FOR THE MUFFIN AND A TEA. 282 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,630 - 15, THERE IT IS. - HEY, YOU KEEP IT. 283 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,967 - TAKE IT, AND WE'LL THROW IN ONE MORE. 284 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,400 - YEAH. - HERE'S 16. 285 00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:31,673 - $16. - $16 FOR A MUFFIN AND A TEA. 286 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,500 - ZUCCHINI BLUEBERRY. - KEEP THE MUFFIN. 287 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,233 WE DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE. YOU KEEP IT. 288 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:38,427 YOU KEEP THE MUFFIN AND THE TEA. 289 00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:39,767 - WE JUST-- 290 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,070 both: JEWED YOU UP! 291 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,330 - OKAY, OKAY. 292 00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,397 [traditional accordion music] 293 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,133 - OH, GREAT, THERE'S DAVE. 294 00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,297 HEY, WHERE'S THE VAN? 295 00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,803 - UH, OKAY, LOOK, DON'T PANIC. 296 00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:55,573 THE VAN'S BEEN REPOSSESSED. 297 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,170 - WHAT? - I KNOW. 298 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,070 I'M REALLY UPSET ABOUT IT. 299 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,870 - WELL, HOW'D THAT HAPPEN? - UH, I DON'T KNOW. 300 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:03,430 - ALL RIGHT, FINE, IT'S REPOSSESSED. 301 00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:05,627 YOU KNOW WHERE TO GO, WE'LL GO GET IT. 302 00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:06,767 - WE CAN'T. 303 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,770 - WHY? 304 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,930 - OKAY... 305 00:11:09,967 --> 00:11:11,427 THE REASON THE VAN WAS REPOSSESSED IS BECAUSE THE SHOW 306 00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:13,067 IS OUT OF MONEY. 307 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,570 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DAVE? 308 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,500 [musical cell phone ringtone] 309 00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:17,073 - ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON, HOLD ON A SECOND. 310 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,730 [musical cell phone ringtone] 311 00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,267 UM, YEAH--HOLD ON. 312 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,470 HELLO? 313 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,230 OH, YEAH, OKAY. 314 00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:25,067 ALL RIGHT, I'M ON MY WAY. 315 00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:26,367 - HOW IS THE SHOW OUT OF MONEY, DAVE? 316 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,870 - OKAY, LOOK, THAT WAS THE REPO CENTER, 317 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,100 I'M GONNA GO TAKE CARE OF THIS. 318 00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:30,273 - NO [bleep] YOU'RE GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT. 319 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,400 - YES. - YOU'RE THE PRODUCER! 320 00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:33,303 - I'VE GOT IT, IT'S UNDER CONTROL. 321 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:36,373 - 'CAUSE THE SHOW'S NOT CALLED "JON BENJAMIN HAD A VAN," DAVE! 322 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,830 - I KNOW, JON, I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT! 323 00:11:37,867 --> 00:11:38,827 - GO DO IT! 324 00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:40,927 [cars honking] 325 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,067 [dramatic music] 326 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,367 - MAN, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 327 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,270 [car honks] 328 00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,500 - HEY! GET OUT OF THE ROAD! 329 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,533 THE VAN'S BEEN REPOSSESSED. 330 00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:52,967 - HEY, BUDDY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING! 331 00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:56,127 - 'CAUSE THE SHOW IS OUT OF MONEY. 332 00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:58,297 - SPARE SOME CHANGE, PAL? 333 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,673 - I'M REALLY UPSET ABOUT IT! 334 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:05,270 - * WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 335 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:08,900 * WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? * 336 00:12:08,933 --> 00:12:11,903 * EVERYTHING THAT RINGS TRUE * 337 00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:15,103 * IS GONE 338 00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:18,303 * NOW WHERE AM I GOING TO GO? * 339 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,333 * WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO * 340 00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:21,867 * IS SHOW 341 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,330 * THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY THING * 342 00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:26,927 * I NEED TO KNOW 343 00:12:26,967 --> 00:12:29,367 [dramatic piano music] 344 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,300 all: * WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? * 345 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:36,273 * WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? * 346 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,070 * EVERYTHING THAT RINGS TRUE 347 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:42,397 * IS GONE 348 00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:45,803 - * I CAN TELL YOU WHAT TO DO * 349 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:49,203 - * NO, I CAN TELL YOU WHAT TO DO * 350 00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:53,633 all: * NO, WE CAN TELL YOU WHAT TO DO * 351 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:59,067 - * I CAN TELL YOU-- I CAN TELL YA, DAVE * 352 00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:01,167 - DAVE! - HEY! 353 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,900 [all speaking at once] 354 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,403 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DAVE? 355 00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:06,733 - WELL, I CAME BY TO CHECK OUT REHEARSAL. 356 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:07,927 HOW'S IT GOING? 357 00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,327 - OH, GREAT! - IT'S GREAT, AWESOME. 358 00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:11,467 - WE WERE JUST GOING THROUGH, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO." 359 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,900 - YEAH, I KNOW, I HEARD A LITTLE OF IT. 360 00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:14,073 UH, IT SOUNDED GREAT. 361 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,267 - YEAH, AWESOME. 362 00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,600 - I'VE BEEN SINGING IT ALL WEEK. 363 00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:17,973 [laughter] 364 00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,267 - HEY, SO, UH, IT'S GREAT YOU'RE HERE. 365 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,500 UH, DO YOU HAVE THE MONEY, BY ANY CHANCE? 366 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,903 WE REALLY NEED IT FOR THE, UH, PREP FOR THE SHOW. 367 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,273 - UH, YEAH, YEAH. 368 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,900 YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A COUPLE LOOSE ENDS TO TIE UP. 369 00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:28,103 YOU KNOW, PRODUCER STUFF. - OH, YEAH. 370 00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:29,903 - BUT DON'T WORRY, OKAY? 371 00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:31,403 "SECRETS" IS A GO. 372 00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:35,233 - ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT! GREAT! 373 00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:36,867 - UH, WELL, LISTEN, WE'RE ALL ABOUT TO GO FOR FOOD, 374 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,100 YOU WANNA JOIN US? 375 00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:39,903 - UH, YEAH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 376 00:13:39,933 --> 00:13:41,773 - AWESOME. - HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 377 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,900 MY TREAT. 378 00:13:42,933 --> 00:13:44,103 [cheers] 379 00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:45,873 - YEAH. - AWESOME, THANKS, DAD. 380 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:46,830 - NO PROBLEM. 381 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,327 - YAY! 382 00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:53,103 - WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 383 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:57,633 [dramatic piano music] 384 00:14:04,967 --> 00:14:06,927 - THE ACTORS BRING THEIR CELL PHONES ON STAGE. 385 00:14:06,967 --> 00:14:08,367 [cell phone rings] - HELLO? 386 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,070 - I CAME OUT OF THE TINKLEBERRY AND THE VAN'S GONE. 387 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,567 - YOU'RE KIDDING ME. 388 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,830 - THE REASON THE VAN WAS REPOSSESSED IS BECAUSE 389 00:14:12,867 --> 00:14:13,967 THE SHOW IS OUT OF MONEY. 390 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:15,527 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 391 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:18,467 THE SHOW'S NOT CALLED "JON BENJAMIN HAD A VAN," DAVE! 392 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,930 - * I CAN TELL YA, DAVE 393 00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,797 - DAVE! - HEY! 394 00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:23,473 - HI. 395 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,870 - HEY, LISTEN, UH, IT'S GREAT YOU'RE HERE. 396 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,070 DO YOU HAVE THE MONEY BY ANY CHANCE? 397 00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,767 WE REALLY NEED IT FOR ALL THE PREP WORK. 398 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,070 - WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 399 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,697 [dramatic piano music] 400 00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:37,403 [musical cell phone ringtone] 401 00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:38,503 - HELLO? 402 00:14:38,533 --> 00:14:39,973 - ARE YOU HEARING THIS? 403 00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:42,427 - * I'VE BEEN WAITING - * I'VE BEEN WAITING 404 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,067 - WHERE ARE YOU? 405 00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,827 - I'M AT "HOUSE ON THE LAKE," WITH NATHAN AND LEO. 406 00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:46,967 - THE MUSICAL? 407 00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:49,097 - YEAH, THE MUSICAL. 408 00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:50,403 WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE VAN? 409 00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:53,503 - OH, I'M, UH, DEALING WITH IT AS WE SPEAK. 410 00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:55,973 - WHERE ARE YOU? 411 00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:58,067 - I'M AT THE, UH, REPO PLACE. 412 00:14:58,067 --> 00:15:00,167 I'M HAGGLING WITH THE GUY. 413 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,730 - WHERE DO YOU WANNA EAT AFTER THIS? 414 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:05,367 - I DON'T KNOW, UH, MAYBE THAI FOOD? 415 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,770 - WELL, WE'RE STUCK IN TIMES SQUARE 416 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,200 UNTIL YOU GET THE VAN, SO HURRY. 417 00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:11,573 - I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, JON. 418 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,970 - * EVERYTHING THAT RINGS TRUE * 419 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,327 - WHO'S SINGING? 420 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:18,467 - UH, THAT'S THE, UH, REPO GUY. 421 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,570 - * JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE MORE TIME * 422 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,830 - YEAH, JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE MORE TIME, JEFF. 423 00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:24,827 - LOOK, JUST GET THE VAN, 424 00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:27,467 ALL RIGHT, DAVE? 425 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,970 - I'M TIRED. - YEAH, YEAH. 426 00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,467 - THAT WAS DAVE. 427 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,800 - NATHAN, I GOTTA GO, JON IS TALKING TO ME. 428 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,873 - ALL RIGHT, YEAH. - YEAH? 429 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:41,070 - YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH EACH OTHER? 430 00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,467 - IT'S "HOUSE ON THE LAKE." 431 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,530 THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. 432 00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:46,467 both: * WHOA, WHOA, WHOA 433 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,470 * THE LOVE WE'LL SHARE 434 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:54,470 * AND THE HOUSE ON THE LAKE * 435 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:58,370 [cheers and applause] 436 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,600 - THAT WAS AWFUL, IT WAS JUST CACOPHONY. 437 00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:02,203 - YOU KNOW, I LIKED IT. 438 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,203 I MADE A BUNCH OF PHONE CALLS 439 00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:04,473 I NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE OTHERWISE. 440 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,430 - YEAH, I ACTUALLY CALLED IN A BOMB THREAT 441 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:07,427 TO MY OLD HIGH SCHOOL 442 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,827 AS A JOKE. 443 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,497 - THAT'S NOT FUNNY. 444 00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:12,303 - AS A JOKE. 445 00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,633 - EVEN IF IT'S A JOKE, IT'S A FELONY. 446 00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,097 - WELL, NOT IF THERE'S NO BOMB. 447 00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:17,533 - YES. - YEAH, STILL-- 448 00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:18,827 - NO ONE'S GONNA GET HURT, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING. 449 00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:19,827 - WELL, IT'S NOT AS BAD-- 450 00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:21,327 - [whistling a tune] 451 00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,197 - BUT YOU'RE STILL GONNA GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THAT. 452 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:29,433 [musical cell phone ringtone] 453 00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,127 - YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW ME, I, LIKE, WENT THERE. 454 00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:34,127 - DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT? 455 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,967 - WHAT? - THAT GUY, WHISTLING. 456 00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:38,067 DID YOU HEAR THE TUNE? - NO, WHAT? 457 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:41,070 - WHAT GUY? - WE GOTTA FOLLOW THAT GUY. 458 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,270 COME ON, JUST TRUST ME, WE GOTTA FOLLOW HIM. 459 00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:45,370 COME ON! 460 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:50,970 - [whistling a tune] 461 00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:58,073 [dramatic piano music] 462 00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:01,267 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, IT SAYS "DO NOT ENTER." 463 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,430 [dramatic piano music] 464 00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:03,427 - HEY. 465 00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:05,897 WHAT'S GOING ON? 466 00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:07,473 - JON, GUYS. 467 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,970 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? 468 00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,567 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 469 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,600 - YOU SAID YOU WERE AT THE REPO CENTER, DAVE. 470 00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:17,603 - I'VE NEVER FELT MORE A PART OF SOMETHING SO SPECIAL 471 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:18,633 IN MY LIFE. 472 00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:21,927 - HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO WRONG? 473 00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:24,427 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 474 00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:26,597 - WELL I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, MY FRIEND. 475 00:17:26,633 --> 00:17:28,303 - NO, IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS. 476 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,633 all: * SECRETS, DO NOT ENTER * 477 00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:34,167 * STAY AWAY FROM HERE 478 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,170 * I DON'T MEAN TO OFFEND, SIR * 479 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,900 * BUT IT'S WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW * 480 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,903 * THAT YOU FEAR 481 00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:42,273 - OKAY, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS. 482 00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:43,900 all: * OOH-OOH-OOH 483 00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:45,133 - OKAY, YEAH, I KEPT IT SECRET. 484 00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:46,527 BUT WE ALL HAVE SECRETS. 485 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:47,967 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 486 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,697 - OH, COME ON, LEO. 487 00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:51,373 YOU, FOR INSTANCE. 488 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,970 YEAH, YOU WEAR GLASSES WITH NO PRESCRIPTION 489 00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:56,927 BECAUSE YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU LOOK SMARTER. 490 00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:59,327 AND NATHAN, YOU WERE ON THE COVER OF "JELQ MAGAZINE." 491 00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:01,767 YOU NEVER TOLD ANYBODY. 492 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,900 - HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT? 493 00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:07,773 - I HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION TO JELQ. 494 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,470 AND JON, OKAY, YES, I EMBEZZLED MONEY 495 00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,700 FROM YOUR SHOW TO FINANCE A BROADWAY MUSICAL, 496 00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:14,073 BUT ONLY AFTER YOU EMBEZZLED MONEY 497 00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:15,167 FROM YOUR SHOW TO 498 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:19,070 INVEST IN YOUR DIRTY T-SHIRT BUSINESS. 499 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:22,870 - [laughs] THAT'S REALLY FUNNY. 500 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,830 WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE THIS DOES WELL. 501 00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:27,727 OR ELSE. 502 00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:30,297 [dramatic music] 503 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:33,573 - * HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO WRONG? * 504 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,270 - * I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN * 505 00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,730 - * I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, MY FRIEND * 506 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:42,927 - * NO, IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS! * 507 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:45,867 all: * SECRETS, DO NOT ENTER * 508 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:48,870 * STAY AWAY FROM ME 509 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:52,200 * I DON'T MEAN TO OFFEND, SIR * 510 00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:54,103 * BUT IT'S WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU FEAR * 511 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,073 - * YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! 512 00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:57,797 all: * OOH-OOH-OOH 513 00:18:57,833 --> 00:19:00,773 - YOU BETTER HOPE THIS DOES WELL, OR ELSE. 514 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,070 - * YOU'D BETTER HOPE THIS DOES WELL * 515 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:08,970 all: * OR ELSE! 516 00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:11,627 [cell phone rings] 517 00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:18,603 [cheers and applause] 518 00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:28,267 [overlapping chatter] 519 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,900 - YOU WERE GOOD. 520 00:19:29,933 --> 00:19:30,973 - AWESOME. 521 00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,497 - SHH-SHH-SHH. - LISTEN. 522 00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:33,633 - WE DID IT. 523 00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:35,097 WE DID IT, "SECRETS, DO NOT ENTER" 524 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,773 IS GOING TO BE A SMASH! 525 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,770 [cheers] 526 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,230 - HEY! 527 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,697 EVERYONE, LOOK! 528 00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:47,673 [cheers] 529 00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,330 - HEY, HERE'S YOUR VAN BACK. 530 00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:54,067 THANKS FOR THE CHECK. 531 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,467 [snapping fingers] 532 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,903 all: * SECRETS, DO NOT ENTER * 533 00:20:02,933 --> 00:20:06,733 * STAY AWAY FROM ME 534 00:20:06,767 --> 00:20:08,597 * I DON'T MEAN TO OFFEND, SIR * 535 00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:11,033 * BUT IT'S WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU FEAR * 536 00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:12,727 - * YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH 537 00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:18,067 all: * OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH 538 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,930 - * YOU'D BETTER HOPE THIS DOES WELL * 539 00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:25,497 all: * OR ELSE! 540 00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:28,533 [loud creaking] 37815

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