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1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,600
- TONIGHT ON
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.
2
00:00:04,633 --> 00:00:06,503
WHAT IMPORTANT PIECE
OF CULTURAL HISTORY
3
00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:08,703
IS THIS MAN
RESPONSIBLE FOR?
4
00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:11,403
IS THE AMERICAN MUSICAL
IN DANGER OF EXTINCTION?
5
00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:14,303
WE'LL TALK TO ONE OF BROADWAY'S
MOST INNOVATIVE PRODUCERS.
6
00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:16,203
AND WE'LL MEET CHAN HO.
7
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:18,603
WHO MANY CLAIM TO BE
THE WORLD'S LOUDEST WAITRESS.
8
00:00:18,633 --> 00:00:19,603
- [yelling] WHAT?
9
00:00:19,633 --> 00:00:23,973
[yelling in Chinese]
10
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,970
- ALL THIS AND MORE ON TONIGHT'S
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.
11
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,970
[dramatic newscast music]
12
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:31,970
*
13
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,770
- [grunts]
14
00:00:36,367 --> 00:00:37,697
- [sighs]
15
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,433
[bomb beeping]
16
00:00:39,467 --> 00:00:41,797
[explosion]
17
00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:52,133
[birds chirping]
18
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:55,627
[somber classical music]
19
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,627
- IN 1973,
46-YEAR-OLD LARRY HEARST,
20
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,627
A CITY ENGINEER LIVING IN
CRANSTON, RHODE ISLAND
21
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,167
HAD A DREAM
OF BECOMING FAMOUS.
22
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,670
AT A COOKOUT,
23
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,630
HE TURNED TO HIS NEIGHBOR
GERALD DEGRAS,
24
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,067
AND PURPORTEDLY SAID,
25
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,670
- HEY...
26
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:10,800
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU GAVE YOUR WIFE
27
00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:13,303
THE OLD HOT DOG
IN THE [bleep].
28
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,203
- LARRY DIDN'T
KNOW IT THEN,
29
00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:16,303
BUT HE HAD BEGUN
HIS JOURNEY TOWARDS COINING
30
00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:18,873
ONE OF THE MOST
POPULAR PHRASES EVER
31
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,270
IN AMERICA'S HISTORY.
32
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,600
BUT LARRY HEARST
KNEW HE WAS ON TO SOMETHING
33
00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:25,103
AND TRIED AGAIN
JUST ONE WEEK LATER.
34
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:27,103
HE HAD HEARD A FRIEND OF HIS
WAS DATING A WOMAN
35
00:01:27,133 --> 00:01:28,973
WHO WORKED WITH THEM
AND SAID,
36
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,897
- I HEARD YOU'RE
SLIPPIN' SALLY ANDREWS
37
00:01:30,933 --> 00:01:33,073
THE OL' HOT DOG INJECTION.
38
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,130
- HIS FRIEND WAS CONFUSED
AND VAGUELY OFFENDED,
39
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:38,167
AND LARRY
WAS DISHEARTENED.
40
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,230
TWO NIGHTS LATER
ON THE VERGE OF GIVING UP,
41
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,127
LARRY DECIDED
TO MAKE ONE FINAL ATTEMPT
42
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,767
AT HIS PHRASE.
43
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,870
WHILE BOWLING, LARRY TURNED
TO HIS FRIEND FRANK WILLIAMS,
44
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,270
GESTURING TOWARD
THE WOMAN WHO WORKED
45
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,830
AT THE COUNTER AND SAID,
46
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:51,297
- HOW ABOUT HER?
47
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:54,073
I BET YOU WOULDN'T MIND
GIVING HER A HOT BEEF INJECTION.
48
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:58,097
[dramatic music]
49
00:01:58,133 --> 00:02:01,073
- [laughs]
50
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,100
[laughter]
51
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:06,103
[triumphant music]
52
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,533
- [slowed laughter]
53
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:12,627
- [slowed]
HOT BEEF INJECTION.
54
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,927
- I REMEMBER HIM
COMING HOME THAT NIGHT
55
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:16,067
AND BEING REALLY HAPPY,
56
00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,227
LIKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENED.
57
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:20,197
DAD SAID IT FOR
THE FIRST TIME TO SOMEONE,
58
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,073
AND MADE THEM LAUGH.
59
00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:22,367
- MM.
60
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,370
- FROM THERE,
THINGS GOT PRETTY CRAZY.
61
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,830
[upbeat music]
62
00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:30,597
- THINGS DID
GET PRETTY CRAZY
63
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:31,903
AS THE PHRASE
"HOT BEEF INJECTION"
64
00:02:31,933 --> 00:02:33,603
SPREAD LIKE A FIRESTORM.
65
00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:37,303
BECOMING MUCH BIGGER THAN
IN LARRY'S WILDEST FANTASIES.
66
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:38,603
- IT DIDN'T
CHANGE OUR LIVES MUCH,
67
00:02:38,633 --> 00:02:41,333
BUT IT DEFINITELY
AFFECTED MY DAD.
68
00:02:41,367 --> 00:02:42,827
HE WAS SAYING IT A LOT
AND AT THAT TIME
69
00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,227
HE WAS DRINKING
A LOT AS WELL.
70
00:02:44,267 --> 00:02:46,297
SO WHEN HE DRANK
HE SAID IT EVEN MORE.
71
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,973
- DID HE EVER
SAY IT TO YOU?
72
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,227
- OH, GOD, NO.
73
00:02:49,267 --> 00:02:51,067
HE NEVER SAID IT TO ME,
I WAS TOO YOUNG.
74
00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,067
- WHAT WAS IT
THAT HE SAID?
75
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,430
- "HOT BEEF INJECTION."
76
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:58,567
- [laughs]
77
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,330
SAY--SAY IT AGAIN.
78
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:04,267
- [shakily]
"HOT BEEF INJECTION."
79
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,270
- [laughs]
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
80
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:09,570
- [cries] BECAUSE...
81
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,230
- SO THIS WAS
LARRY'S LOCAL BAR?
82
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:13,467
- YEAH, HE USED TO
COME IN HERE A LOT.
83
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,900
LARRY WAS ALWAYS BRINGING
ATTENTION TO THE FACT
84
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,903
THAT HE CAME UP
WITH THE PHRASE.
85
00:03:16,933 --> 00:03:19,303
EVERYONE WAS GETTING TIRED
OF HIM SAYING IT, THOUGH.
86
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,503
I MEAN, UNLESS
YOU'RE EIGHT YEARS OLD
87
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,073
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BUST UP
EVERY TIME YOU HEAR
88
00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:23,127
"HOT BEEF INJECTION."
89
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:25,227
- [chuckles]
90
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:26,967
SORRY.
91
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,167
BUT THE INITIAL
RUSH OF FAME
92
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,400
PROVED TO BE
TOO MUCH FOR LARRY,
93
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,933
AND HE FOUND HIMSELF
BROKE AND ADDICTED TO DRUGS.
94
00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:36,067
- I THINK LARRY FELT LIKE
HE WAS UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE
95
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,200
TO COME UP
WITH SOMETHING NEW,
96
00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:38,233
AND THAT'S WHEN
HE COINED THE PHRASE
97
00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:40,797
HE WAS MOST
WELL KNOWN FOR,
98
00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:42,303
"GOD HATES [bleep]."
99
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:45,703
- "GOD HATES [bleep]"
WAS HUGE FOR HIM.
100
00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:48,073
IT DEFINITELY PULLED HIM
OUT OF A REALLY DARK PLACE.
101
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,200
IT ALSO BROUGHT HIM INTO
A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE
102
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:52,603
WHO SUPPORTED HIM,
103
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,603
AND REALLY
APPRECIATED WHAT HE DID.
104
00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:58,273
AND HE NEVER GOT THAT
WITH "HOT BEEF INJECTION."
105
00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,600
- IN JUNE OF 1982,
JUST ONE WEEK
106
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:04,073
AFTER HE COINED THE PHRASE
"GOT HATES [bleep],"
107
00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,627
LARRY HEARST
DIED TRAGICALLY
108
00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,767
IN A SPEEDBOAT ACCIDENT.
109
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,400
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR FATHER'S
LASTING LEGACY WILL BE?
110
00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,973
UM, "GOD HATES [bleep],"
OR "HOT BEEF INJECTION?"
111
00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:15,627
- DEFINITELY
"GOD HATES [bleep]."
112
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,967
I MEAN, "HOT BEEF INJECTION"
WAS LIKE MY FATHER'S
113
00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:20,367
MEET THE BEATLES.
114
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,170
WHILE "GOD HATES [bleep]"
WAS LIKE HIS
115
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,600
SGT. PEPPER'S.
116
00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:28,833
- YOU GOT THOSE MADE?
117
00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:29,967
- YES.
118
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,267
- WOW.
119
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:37,370
YOU--THEY'RE GREAT.
120
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,200
[dramatic newscast music]
121
00:04:39,233 --> 00:04:41,773
[traditional accordion music]
122
00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,927
- HELLO?
123
00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:50,427
- LOOK AT THIS.
- HELLO.
124
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:52,167
- OH.
- THIS IS QUITE NICE.
125
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,130
- THIS IS NICE.
126
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,797
- EXCUSE ME.
127
00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:56,103
- CAN WE HAVE, UH--
- GREAT.
128
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:57,533
- IT HAS PIQUED OUR CURIOSITY.
- YES!
129
00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:58,627
- GREAT.
130
00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:01,897
UM, THIS IS THE,
UH, 77-INCH, UH, ISTANBUL.
131
00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:04,203
IT'S, UH, BLACK LEATHER.
132
00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:05,203
IT'S A GIO CLASS LEATHER,
133
00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:07,073
WHICH IS OUR BEST,
AND UH--
134
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,267
- OKAY.
135
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,530
WELL, LET'S GET
TO THE NITTY, UH, GRITTY
136
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,067
AS THEY SAY.
- YES.
137
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:13,627
- AND, UH, WHAT IS THE PRICE?
- WHAT IS THE COST OF THIS?
138
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:17,167
- SO, UM, ACTUALLY THIS IS OUR
LAST ONE OF THESE, SO IT'S--
139
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,600
- THE FLOOR MODEL?
- YEAH.
140
00:05:18,633 --> 00:05:22,433
AND IT'S NORMALLY 3,885,
BUT IT'S, UH, 30% OFF.
141
00:05:22,467 --> 00:05:24,467
SO THAT BRINGS US DOWN
TO ABOUT 3,150 OR SO.
142
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,930
- 3,150 FOR THIS COUCH.
- YEP.
143
00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:29,927
- DOES THIS INCLUDE SHIPPING,
DELIVERY, SET UP, ALL THAT?
144
00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:31,297
- UH, YEAH, YES.
- IT DOES.
145
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,903
- YES.
- INCLUDING.
146
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:33,903
ONE SECOND.
- ONE SECOND.
147
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,973
- WE'LL NEED TO DISCUSS THIS.
148
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,797
[conversing quietly]
149
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,067
- WE WILL OFFER YOU,
150
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:48,567
$4,150 FOR THE COUCH.
151
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,930
- INCLUDING THE PILLOWS.
152
00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:53,067
- I DON'T--
UM, I DON'T KNOW.
153
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:54,067
I MEAN, WE DON'T--
154
00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:56,097
- THAT'S OKAY, 4,600.
155
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,103
- I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT--
156
00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,173
THAT THE COUCH
IS ON SALE,
157
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,770
THAT IT'S NOT--
158
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,700
- I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
159
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:03,973
THAT WE'LL
PAY $5,000 FOR THE COUCH.
160
00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,427
[cash register rings]
161
00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:08,197
MANY PEOPLE FEEL
THAT JEWS ARE CONSTANTLY
162
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:11,103
TRYING TO BARGAIN DOWN
ON PRICE--
163
00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:13,073
- HENCE THE PHRASE,
"JEW THEM DOWN."
164
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,097
- WE'RE GOING UP.
- YEAH, BUT YOU'RE--YEAH.
165
00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,533
- YES.
- THAT'S WHY I WAS...
166
00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:17,567
- YEAH, YOU'RE
SURPRISED BY THAT.
167
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,770
- UH, YEAH.
168
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,170
- YOU DIDN'T EXPECT
TWO JEWS TO COME IN HERE
169
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,730
AND TRY
TO JEW YOU UP!
170
00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:24,267
- OUR ORGANIZATION
IS CALLED "JEW THEM UP."
171
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:28,800
AND WHAT WE DO IS GO AROUND
TO SHOPS, STORES, MALLS,
172
00:06:28,833 --> 00:06:29,973
ALL OVER THE COUNTRY,
173
00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,827
AND WE
OFFER THEM MORE.
174
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,467
- I WOULD HAVE TO CHECK,
'CAUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW
175
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,070
IF I CAN
TAKE MORE FOR IT.
176
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,330
- 6,000.
177
00:06:36,367 --> 00:06:38,527
- $6,000 AND
WE'LL CALL IT A DEAL.
178
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,097
FINAL OFFER, $6,000.
179
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:45,573
- I MEAN, ALL RIGHT,
THAT SOUNDS GOOD, I--ALL RIGHT.
180
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,300
- ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL--
both: JEW THEM UP!
181
00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:53,527
- WITH ALL
THE ECONOMIC STRUGGLES
182
00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:54,867
OF THE PAST FEW YEARS,
183
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:57,070
ONE INDUSTRY THAT WAS
HIT EXTREMELY HARD
184
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,297
WAS BROADWAY.
185
00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:00,103
WITH TICKET SALES DROPPING,
186
00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:02,903
MANY BROADWAY PRODUCERS
ARE TRYING NEW METHODS
187
00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:04,673
TO FILL SEATS.
188
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:05,930
- TWO YEARS AGO,
189
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:09,127
WE PUT UP
$17 MILLION IN CAPITAL,
190
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,527
TO FINANCE "SPACE DOG,"
191
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:14,927
A MUSICAL ABOUT LAIKA,
THE FIRST DOG IN SPACE.
192
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,767
WITH MUSIC BY
THE FOO FIGHTERS.
193
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,700
AND IT CLOSED
AFTER TWO WEEKS.
194
00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:23,133
BUT, YOU KNOW, TIMES ARE TOUGH
ON BROADWAY RIGHT NOW.
195
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:25,567
- TWO YEARS AGO,
I WOULD HAVE BEEN
196
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,600
TEN MINUTES
TO CURTAIN RIGHT NOW.
197
00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:28,673
NOW I'M HERE AT HOME,
198
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,470
WAITING FOR ANY CALL
TO GET BACK TO WORK.
199
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,070
- I REALLY LIKE
YOUR HOME DRESSING ROOM,
200
00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:34,397
IT'S NICE.
201
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:35,633
- UH, NO,
THIS IS MY LIVING ROOM.
202
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,127
MY DRESSING ROOM
IS A MUCH SMALLER VERSION
203
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:38,767
OF THIS UPSTAIRS.
204
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,930
- SO YOU HAVE A DRESSING ROOM
THEMED LIVING ROOM.
205
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:42,627
- I DO.
206
00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,567
- BROADWAY IS NOT
SOME ANCIENT RELIC, YOU KNOW?
207
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,500
IT'S NOT
SOME OLD WOMAN
208
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,103
IN AN APARTMENT FULL OF CATS
WAITING TO DIE, IT IS--
209
00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:52,373
IT'S A LIVING, BREATHING,
ORGANISM THAT HAS TO EVOLVE.
210
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,770
AND WE NEED IT
TO PUT UP A SHOW,
211
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,070
THAT BETTER REFLECTS
PEOPLE'S LIVES,
212
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,497
AND NOW WE'RE FILLING SEATS
AND IT'S WONDERFUL.
213
00:07:59,533 --> 00:08:01,573
- "THE HOUSE ON THE LAKE"
IS BROADWAY'S
214
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,900
MOST INNOVATIVE NEW SHOW.
215
00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,633
"THE HOUSE ON THE LAKE"
WILL SURPRISE YOU.
216
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:12,067
[singing opera]
217
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,127
IT WILL TOUCH YOU.
218
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:16,297
IT IS THE ONLY
SHOW ON BROADWAY
219
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,203
WHERE YOU'RE ALLOWED
TO USE YOUR CELL PHONES
220
00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:19,973
DURING THE PERFORMANCE.
221
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,297
[cell phones ringing, beeping]
222
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,633
- I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.
223
00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:25,327
I COULD REALLY RELAX
AND ENJOY THE PLAY
224
00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,527
KNOWING I WASN'T
GONNA MISS A CALL.
225
00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,067
- I'M IN SALES,
AND I WAS ABLE TO TAKE
226
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,127
A COUPLE OF WORK CALLS.
227
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:32,267
THAT WAS GREAT.
228
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,170
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
229
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,470
"HOUSE ON THE LAKE"
IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
230
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,730
PLEASE TURN
YOUR CELL PHONES ON.
231
00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:40,467
[cell phones ringing, beeping]
232
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,897
- ISN'T IT
DISTRACTING TO THE ACTORS?
233
00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:48,673
- THE ACTORS
BRING THEIR CELL PHONES ONSTAGE.
234
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,200
I THINK IT'S REFRESHING
TO SEE AN ACTOR TAKE A CALL
235
00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:52,373
DURING A PERFORMANCE.
236
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,970
PRETTY SOON...
[cell phone rings]
237
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,597
EVERY SHOW ON BROADWAY
IS GOING TO ALLOW CELL PHONES.
238
00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:58,333
I MEAN, THEATER NEEDS TO BE
A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE...
239
00:08:58,367 --> 00:08:59,667
[cell phone rings]
- OH, SORRY, ONE SECOND.
240
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:01,500
- CAN LIVE THEIR LIVES
AND NOT BE RESTRICTED...
241
00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:02,833
- HELLO?
- HEY.
242
00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:05,227
I CAME OUT OF THE TINKLEBERRY
AND THE VAN'S GONE.
243
00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:06,727
- WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
- I DON'T KNOW.
244
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,097
WE PARKED AROUND FRONT.
I GUESS IT GOT TOWED.
245
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,773
- YOU'RE KIDDING ME,
WHY'D YOU GO TO TINKLEBERRY?
246
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,400
- BECAUSE I READ AN ARTICLE
ABOUT IT IN MEN'S HEALTH.
247
00:09:14,433 --> 00:09:16,303
- OBVIOUSLY WE NEED THE VAN,
WHERE'S DAVE?
248
00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:18,273
- I DON'T KNOW,
I'LL CALL HIM.
249
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,670
- ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING DOWN.
JESUS CHRIST. I GOTTA--
250
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,400
- ...SURFING ON THE MUSE
THAT IS THEATER.
251
00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,133
I THINK IF--IF SHAKESPEARE
HAD HAD CELL PHONES IN HIS TIME,
252
00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:24,697
HE WOULD HAVE
NOT ONLY HAD THEM ON,
253
00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:27,473
HE WOULD HAVE REQUIRED EVERY
SINGLE PERSON IN THE AUDIENCE
254
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,570
TO TAKE A CALL
DURING THE SHOW!
255
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,570
I MEAN, IMAGINE--
256
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,230
[dramatic newscast music]
257
00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:34,467
- SO WE WILL
HAVE A HOT DOG
258
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:39,130
AND A SELTZER.
259
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:40,067
- HOW MUCH IS THAT?
260
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,400
- $2 EACH.
261
00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:45,873
- $2 FOR THE HOT DOG.
- $2 FOR THIS HOT DOG?
262
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,500
- IT'S A SMALL HOT DOG.
- YES.
263
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:50,433
- WITH THE SELTZER
HOW MUCH, TOTAL?
264
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,327
- TWO MORE?
SO TWO AND TWO.
265
00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:53,467
SO THAT'S $4.
- $4.
266
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:57,470
- WE'LL GIVE YOU $20.
- OKAY.
267
00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,070
- HEY, COULD YOU TELL US
ABOUT THIS MUFFIN, PLEASE?
268
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,600
- IT'S A ZUCCHINI
WITH BLUEBERRIES?
269
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,603
- IT'S $2.45.
- $2.45?
270
00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:04,573
- $2.45 FOR THIS MUFFIN?
271
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,230
- IS THAT A
HOMEMADE MUFFIN, OR A--
272
00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:09,067
- OH, I DON'T KNOW.
- YOU DON'T KNOW.
273
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,400
[conversing quietly]
274
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:13,103
- WE'LL GIVE YOU $5 FOR IT.
- $5 FOR THE MUFFIN.
275
00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,403
- IT'S $2.45
276
00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:16,203
- ALL RIGHT, $6.
$6, DON'T ANSWER.
277
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:17,533
WE'LL GIVE YOU $6.
278
00:10:17,567 --> 00:10:19,127
- AND WE'LL ALSO
TAKE AN EARL GREY TEA
279
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,727
AND WE'LL MAKE IT
AN EVEN $10.
280
00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:22,167
- I THINK
THAT'S VERY FAIR.
281
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,370
- IT'S $10,
FOR THE MUFFIN AND A TEA.
282
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,630
- 15, THERE IT IS.
- HEY, YOU KEEP IT.
283
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,967
- TAKE IT, AND WE'LL
THROW IN ONE MORE.
284
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,400
- YEAH.
- HERE'S 16.
285
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:31,673
- $16.
- $16 FOR A MUFFIN AND A TEA.
286
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,500
- ZUCCHINI BLUEBERRY.
- KEEP THE MUFFIN.
287
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,233
WE DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE.
YOU KEEP IT.
288
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:38,427
YOU KEEP THE MUFFIN
AND THE TEA.
289
00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:39,767
- WE JUST--
290
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,070
both: JEWED YOU UP!
291
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,330
- OKAY, OKAY.
292
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,397
[traditional accordion music]
293
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,133
- OH, GREAT,
THERE'S DAVE.
294
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,297
HEY, WHERE'S THE VAN?
295
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,803
- UH, OKAY, LOOK,
DON'T PANIC.
296
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:55,573
THE VAN'S
BEEN REPOSSESSED.
297
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,170
- WHAT?
- I KNOW.
298
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,070
I'M REALLY
UPSET ABOUT IT.
299
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,870
- WELL, HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?
- UH, I DON'T KNOW.
300
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:03,430
- ALL RIGHT, FINE,
IT'S REPOSSESSED.
301
00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:05,627
YOU KNOW WHERE TO GO,
WE'LL GO GET IT.
302
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:06,767
- WE CAN'T.
303
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,770
- WHY?
304
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,930
- OKAY...
305
00:11:09,967 --> 00:11:11,427
THE REASON THE VAN WAS
REPOSSESSED IS BECAUSE THE SHOW
306
00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:13,067
IS OUT OF MONEY.
307
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,570
- WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, DAVE?
308
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,500
[musical cell phone ringtone]
309
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:17,073
- ALL RIGHT,
HOLD ON, HOLD ON A SECOND.
310
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,730
[musical cell phone ringtone]
311
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,267
UM, YEAH--HOLD ON.
312
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,470
HELLO?
313
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,230
OH, YEAH, OKAY.
314
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:25,067
ALL RIGHT,
I'M ON MY WAY.
315
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:26,367
- HOW IS THE SHOW
OUT OF MONEY, DAVE?
316
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,870
- OKAY, LOOK,
THAT WAS THE REPO CENTER,
317
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,100
I'M GONNA GO
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
318
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:30,273
- NO [bleep]
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT.
319
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,400
- YES.
- YOU'RE THE PRODUCER!
320
00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:33,303
- I'VE GOT IT,
IT'S UNDER CONTROL.
321
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:36,373
- 'CAUSE THE SHOW'S NOT CALLED
"JON BENJAMIN HAD A VAN," DAVE!
322
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,830
- I KNOW, JON,
I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT!
323
00:11:37,867 --> 00:11:38,827
- GO DO IT!
324
00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:40,927
[cars honking]
325
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,067
[dramatic music]
326
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,367
- MAN, WHAT
AM I GOING TO DO?
327
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,270
[car honks]
328
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,500
- HEY! GET OUT
OF THE ROAD!
329
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,533
THE VAN'S BEEN REPOSSESSED.
330
00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:52,967
- HEY, BUDDY,
WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!
331
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:56,127
- 'CAUSE THE SHOW
IS OUT OF MONEY.
332
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:58,297
- SPARE SOME CHANGE, PAL?
333
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,673
- I'M REALLY
UPSET ABOUT IT!
334
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:05,270
- * WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
335
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:08,900
* WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO? *
336
00:12:08,933 --> 00:12:11,903
* EVERYTHING THAT
RINGS TRUE *
337
00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:15,103
* IS GONE
338
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:18,303
* NOW WHERE AM I
GOING TO GO? *
339
00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,333
* WHEN ALL
I WANT TO DO *
340
00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:21,867
* IS SHOW
341
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,330
* THAT YOU ARE
THE ONLY THING *
342
00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:26,927
* I NEED TO KNOW
343
00:12:26,967 --> 00:12:29,367
[dramatic piano music]
344
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,300
all: * WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO? *
345
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:36,273
* WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO? *
346
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,070
* EVERYTHING THAT RINGS TRUE
347
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:42,397
* IS GONE
348
00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:45,803
- * I CAN TELL YOU
WHAT TO DO *
349
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:49,203
- * NO, I CAN
TELL YOU WHAT TO DO *
350
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:53,633
all: * NO, WE CAN
TELL YOU WHAT TO DO *
351
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:59,067
- * I CAN TELL YOU--
I CAN TELL YA, DAVE *
352
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:01,167
- DAVE!
- HEY!
353
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,900
[all speaking at once]
354
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,403
- WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, DAVE?
355
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:06,733
- WELL, I CAME BY
TO CHECK OUT REHEARSAL.
356
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:07,927
HOW'S IT GOING?
357
00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,327
- OH, GREAT!
- IT'S GREAT, AWESOME.
358
00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:11,467
- WE WERE JUST GOING THROUGH,
"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO."
359
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,900
- YEAH, I KNOW,
I HEARD A LITTLE OF IT.
360
00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:14,073
UH, IT SOUNDED GREAT.
361
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,267
- YEAH, AWESOME.
362
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,600
- I'VE BEEN
SINGING IT ALL WEEK.
363
00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:17,973
[laughter]
364
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,267
- HEY, SO, UH,
IT'S GREAT YOU'RE HERE.
365
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,500
UH, DO YOU HAVE
THE MONEY, BY ANY CHANCE?
366
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,903
WE REALLY NEED IT
FOR THE, UH, PREP FOR THE SHOW.
367
00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,273
- UH, YEAH, YEAH.
368
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,900
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A COUPLE
LOOSE ENDS TO TIE UP.
369
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:28,103
YOU KNOW, PRODUCER STUFF.
- OH, YEAH.
370
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:29,903
- BUT DON'T WORRY, OKAY?
371
00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:31,403
"SECRETS" IS A GO.
372
00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:35,233
- ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT! GREAT!
373
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:36,867
- UH, WELL, LISTEN,
WE'RE ALL ABOUT TO GO FOR FOOD,
374
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,100
YOU WANNA JOIN US?
375
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:39,903
- UH, YEAH,
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
376
00:13:39,933 --> 00:13:41,773
- AWESOME.
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
377
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,900
MY TREAT.
378
00:13:42,933 --> 00:13:44,103
[cheers]
379
00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:45,873
- YEAH.
- AWESOME, THANKS, DAD.
380
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:46,830
- NO PROBLEM.
381
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,327
- YAY!
382
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:53,103
- WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
383
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:57,633
[dramatic piano music]
384
00:14:04,967 --> 00:14:06,927
- THE ACTORS BRING
THEIR CELL PHONES ON STAGE.
385
00:14:06,967 --> 00:14:08,367
[cell phone rings]
- HELLO?
386
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,070
- I CAME OUT OF THE TINKLEBERRY
AND THE VAN'S GONE.
387
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,567
- YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
388
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,830
- THE REASON THE VAN
WAS REPOSSESSED IS BECAUSE
389
00:14:12,867 --> 00:14:13,967
THE SHOW IS
OUT OF MONEY.
390
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:15,527
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
391
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:18,467
THE SHOW'S NOT CALLED
"JON BENJAMIN HAD A VAN," DAVE!
392
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,930
- * I CAN TELL YA, DAVE
393
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,797
- DAVE!
- HEY!
394
00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:23,473
- HI.
395
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,870
- HEY, LISTEN,
UH, IT'S GREAT YOU'RE HERE.
396
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,070
DO YOU HAVE THE MONEY
BY ANY CHANCE?
397
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,767
WE REALLY NEED IT
FOR ALL THE PREP WORK.
398
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,070
- WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
399
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,697
[dramatic piano music]
400
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:37,403
[musical cell phone ringtone]
401
00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:38,503
- HELLO?
402
00:14:38,533 --> 00:14:39,973
- ARE YOU HEARING THIS?
403
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:42,427
- * I'VE BEEN WAITING
- * I'VE BEEN WAITING
404
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,067
- WHERE ARE YOU?
405
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,827
- I'M AT "HOUSE ON THE LAKE,"
WITH NATHAN AND LEO.
406
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:46,967
- THE MUSICAL?
407
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:49,097
- YEAH, THE MUSICAL.
408
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:50,403
WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH THE VAN?
409
00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:53,503
- OH, I'M, UH,
DEALING WITH IT AS WE SPEAK.
410
00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:55,973
- WHERE ARE YOU?
411
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:58,067
- I'M AT THE,
UH, REPO PLACE.
412
00:14:58,067 --> 00:15:00,167
I'M HAGGLING
WITH THE GUY.
413
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,730
- WHERE DO YOU
WANNA EAT AFTER THIS?
414
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:05,367
- I DON'T KNOW, UH,
MAYBE THAI FOOD?
415
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,770
- WELL, WE'RE STUCK
IN TIMES SQUARE
416
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,200
UNTIL YOU GET THE VAN,
SO HURRY.
417
00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:11,573
- I WON'T
LET YOU DOWN, JON.
418
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,970
- * EVERYTHING
THAT RINGS TRUE *
419
00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,327
- WHO'S SINGING?
420
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:18,467
- UH, THAT'S THE,
UH, REPO GUY.
421
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,570
- * JUST GIVE ME
A LITTLE MORE TIME *
422
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,830
- YEAH, JUST GIVE ME
A LITTLE MORE TIME, JEFF.
423
00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:24,827
- LOOK,
JUST GET THE VAN,
424
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:27,467
ALL RIGHT, DAVE?
425
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,970
- I'M TIRED.
- YEAH, YEAH.
426
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,467
- THAT WAS DAVE.
427
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,800
- NATHAN, I GOTTA GO,
JON IS TALKING TO ME.
428
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,873
- ALL RIGHT, YEAH.
- YEAH?
429
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:41,070
- YOU'RE ON THE PHONE
WITH EACH OTHER?
430
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,467
- IT'S "HOUSE ON THE LAKE."
431
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,530
THAT'S
THE WHOLE POINT.
432
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:46,467
both: * WHOA, WHOA, WHOA
433
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,470
* THE LOVE WE'LL SHARE
434
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:54,470
* AND THE HOUSE
ON THE LAKE *
435
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:58,370
[cheers and applause]
436
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,600
- THAT WAS AWFUL,
IT WAS JUST CACOPHONY.
437
00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:02,203
- YOU KNOW, I LIKED IT.
438
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,203
I MADE A BUNCH
OF PHONE CALLS
439
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:04,473
I NEVER WOULD HAVE
MADE OTHERWISE.
440
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,430
- YEAH, I ACTUALLY
CALLED IN A BOMB THREAT
441
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:07,427
TO MY OLD HIGH SCHOOL
442
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,827
AS A JOKE.
443
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,497
- THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
444
00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:12,303
- AS A JOKE.
445
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,633
- EVEN IF IT'S A JOKE,
IT'S A FELONY.
446
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,097
- WELL, NOT
IF THERE'S NO BOMB.
447
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:17,533
- YES.
- YEAH, STILL--
448
00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:18,827
- NO ONE'S GONNA GET HURT,
I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
449
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:19,827
- WELL,
IT'S NOT AS BAD--
450
00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:21,327
- [whistling a tune]
451
00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,197
- BUT YOU'RE STILL GONNA GET
IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THAT.
452
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:29,433
[musical cell phone ringtone]
453
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,127
- YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW ME,
I, LIKE, WENT THERE.
454
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:34,127
- DID YOU
JUST HEAR THAT?
455
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,967
- WHAT?
- THAT GUY, WHISTLING.
456
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:38,067
DID YOU HEAR THE TUNE?
- NO, WHAT?
457
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:41,070
- WHAT GUY?
- WE GOTTA FOLLOW THAT GUY.
458
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,270
COME ON, JUST TRUST ME,
WE GOTTA FOLLOW HIM.
459
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:45,370
COME ON!
460
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:50,970
- [whistling a tune]
461
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:58,073
[dramatic piano music]
462
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:01,267
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
IT SAYS "DO NOT ENTER."
463
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,430
[dramatic piano music]
464
00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:03,427
- HEY.
465
00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:05,897
WHAT'S GOING ON?
466
00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:07,473
- JON, GUYS.
467
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,970
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
468
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,567
- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
469
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,600
- YOU SAID YOU WERE
AT THE REPO CENTER, DAVE.
470
00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:17,603
- I'VE NEVER FELT MORE A PART
OF SOMETHING SO SPECIAL
471
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:18,633
IN MY LIFE.
472
00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:21,927
- HOW COULD YOU
DO SOMETHING SO WRONG?
473
00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:24,427
- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
474
00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:26,597
- WELL I KNOW WHAT
YOU DID, MY FRIEND.
475
00:17:26,633 --> 00:17:28,303
- NO, IT'S NOT
WHAT IT SEEMS.
476
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,633
all: * SECRETS,
DO NOT ENTER *
477
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:34,167
* STAY AWAY FROM HERE
478
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,170
* I DON'T MEAN
TO OFFEND, SIR *
479
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,900
* BUT IT'S WHAT
YOU DON'T KNOW *
480
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,903
* THAT YOU FEAR
481
00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:42,273
- OKAY, GUYS, GUYS,
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS.
482
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:43,900
all: * OOH-OOH-OOH
483
00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:45,133
- OKAY, YEAH,
I KEPT IT SECRET.
484
00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:46,527
BUT WE ALL
HAVE SECRETS.
485
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:47,967
- WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
486
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,697
- OH, COME ON, LEO.
487
00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:51,373
YOU, FOR INSTANCE.
488
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,970
YEAH, YOU WEAR GLASSES
WITH NO PRESCRIPTION
489
00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:56,927
BECAUSE YOU THINK IT
MAKES YOU LOOK SMARTER.
490
00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:59,327
AND NATHAN, YOU WERE
ON THE COVER OF "JELQ MAGAZINE."
491
00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:01,767
YOU NEVER TOLD ANYBODY.
492
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,900
- HOW DID YOU
FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?
493
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:07,773
- I HAVE A
SUBSCRIPTION TO JELQ.
494
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,470
AND JON, OKAY,
YES, I EMBEZZLED MONEY
495
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,700
FROM YOUR SHOW
TO FINANCE A BROADWAY MUSICAL,
496
00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:14,073
BUT ONLY AFTER
YOU EMBEZZLED MONEY
497
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:15,167
FROM YOUR SHOW TO
498
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:19,070
INVEST IN YOUR
DIRTY T-SHIRT BUSINESS.
499
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:22,870
- [laughs]
THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
500
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,830
WELL, YOU BETTER
HOPE THIS DOES WELL.
501
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:27,727
OR ELSE.
502
00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:30,297
[dramatic music]
503
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:33,573
- * HOW COULD YOU
DO SOMETHING SO WRONG? *
504
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,270
- * I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN *
505
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,730
- * I KNOW WHAT
YOU DID, MY FRIEND *
506
00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:42,927
- * NO, IT'S NOT
WHAT IT SEEMS! *
507
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:45,867
all: * SECRETS,
DO NOT ENTER *
508
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:48,870
* STAY AWAY FROM ME
509
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:52,200
* I DON'T MEAN
TO OFFEND, SIR *
510
00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:54,103
* BUT IT'S WHAT YOU
DON'T KNOW THAT YOU FEAR *
511
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,073
- * YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
512
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:57,797
all: * OOH-OOH-OOH
513
00:18:57,833 --> 00:19:00,773
- YOU BETTER HOPE
THIS DOES WELL, OR ELSE.
514
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,070
- * YOU'D BETTER HOPE
THIS DOES WELL *
515
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:08,970
all: * OR ELSE!
516
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:11,627
[cell phone rings]
517
00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:18,603
[cheers and applause]
518
00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:28,267
[overlapping chatter]
519
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,900
- YOU WERE GOOD.
520
00:19:29,933 --> 00:19:30,973
- AWESOME.
521
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,497
- SHH-SHH-SHH.
- LISTEN.
522
00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:33,633
- WE DID IT.
523
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:35,097
WE DID IT,
"SECRETS, DO NOT ENTER"
524
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,773
IS GOING TO
BE A SMASH!
525
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,770
[cheers]
526
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,230
- HEY!
527
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,697
EVERYONE, LOOK!
528
00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:47,673
[cheers]
529
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,330
- HEY, HERE'S
YOUR VAN BACK.
530
00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:54,067
THANKS FOR THE CHECK.
531
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,467
[snapping fingers]
532
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,903
all: * SECRETS,
DO NOT ENTER *
533
00:20:02,933 --> 00:20:06,733
* STAY AWAY FROM ME
534
00:20:06,767 --> 00:20:08,597
* I DON'T MEAN
TO OFFEND, SIR *
535
00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:11,033
* BUT IT'S WHAT YOU
DON'T KNOW THAT YOU FEAR *
536
00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:12,727
- * YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
537
00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:18,067
all: * OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH
538
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,930
- * YOU'D BETTER HOPE
THIS DOES WELL *
539
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:25,497
all: * OR ELSE!
540
00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:28,533
[loud creaking]
37815
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