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1
00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:04,327
- TONIGHT ON
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN...
2
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:05,497
WE'LL VISIT
WITH THIS SOLDIER
3
00:00:05,533 --> 00:00:07,573
AND HEAR
HIS INCREDIBLE STORY.
4
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,370
AND ON TONIGHT'S
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW,
5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,700
OUR EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
6
00:00:10,733 --> 00:00:13,703
WITH RECLUSIVE GUATEMALAN
DRUG LORD EL MANTA BLANCA.
7
00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:16,873
AND ANOTHER INSTALLMENT
OF "OCD AFTER DARK."
8
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,870
[sexy music]
9
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,900
*
10
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,200
ALL THIS AND MORE ON TONIGHT'S
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.
11
00:00:41,233 --> 00:00:44,803
[dramatic music]
12
00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:47,173
- [groans]
13
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,300
- OHH.
14
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:52,770
[beeping]
15
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,100
[explosion]
16
00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:57,803
*
17
00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:05,867
[birds chirping]
18
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,700
- THANK YOU, TIMMY.
NOW GO HOME.
19
00:01:08,733 --> 00:01:10,473
DESPITE THE FACT
THAT WE'VE BEEN SATURATED
20
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,170
WITH IMAGES OF WAR
OVER THE LAST FEW DECADES
21
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,730
BY THE NEWS MEDIA,
22
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:17,467
IT'S STILL ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE
TO COMMUNICATE THE HORRORS
23
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,630
OF ACTUALLY BEING THERE.
24
00:01:19,667 --> 00:01:23,467
MANY SOLDIERS RETURN
WITH LIFE-ALTERING INJURIES.
25
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,130
PRIVATE NATHAN GLASER
IS ONE SUCH SOLDIER
26
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:28,467
WHOSE LIFE
HAS BEEN CHANGED FOREVER
27
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,630
BY HIS MILITARY SERVICE.
28
00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,497
SO THANK YOU
FOR BEING HERE, NATHAN.
29
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:35,433
I APPRECIATE IT.
UM...
30
00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:37,527
WHAT WAS IT LIKE
OVER THERE?
31
00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:39,367
- [whispering]
I FEARED FOR MY LIFE
32
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,700
EVERY SECOND.
33
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:44,073
AND IT'S REALLY
THE STRANGEST FEELING,
34
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:46,427
BECAUSE THERE'S
NEVER A MOMENT
35
00:01:46,467 --> 00:01:48,627
WHEN YOU'RE NOT
CONSTANTLY ON GUARD.
36
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,797
- SO TELL US
ABOUT YOUR SPECIFIC INJURY.
37
00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:51,903
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
38
00:01:51,933 --> 00:01:54,073
- WELL, IT ACTUALLY STARTED
39
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,930
BEFORE I WAS DEPLOYED
TO AFGHANISTAN.
40
00:01:55,967 --> 00:01:58,767
THE DOCTORS THINK IT STARTED
IN BASIC TRAINING.
41
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,633
- I'M SORRY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND...
42
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:05,397
I'M SAYING, WERE YOU
IN A FIREFIGHT OR...
43
00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:07,903
- NO, I NEVER WAS DEPLOYED.
I NEVER MADE IT TO AFGHANISTAN.
44
00:02:07,933 --> 00:02:09,733
I WAS NOT IN THE WAR.
45
00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:11,727
- YOU DIDN'T GO
TO AFGHANISTAN?
46
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,527
- NO.
47
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,427
- SO YOU DID NOT SUSTAIN
YOUR INJURY DURING AN ATTACK?
48
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,067
- NO, IT WAS
FROM SCREAMING.
49
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,397
- YOU LOST YOUR VOICE
FROM SCREAMING?
50
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:21,903
- I'D BEEN GETTING READY FOR BED
AND BRUSHING MY TEETH,
51
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,403
AND JUST THINKING ABOUT
GOING TO WAR,
52
00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:27,373
AND I WOULD START SCREAMING
FROM BEING SO SCARED.
53
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:33,070
[screaming]
54
00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:36,697
- SO YOU WERE SCARED
OF THE IDEA OF WAR.
55
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:39,633
- THAT'S CORRECT.
- AND THAT'S HOW...
56
00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:41,797
- IT'S THE SCARIEST THING
YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.
57
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,633
- HOW HAS IT BEEN
SINCE YOU'VE BEEN BACK
58
00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:45,597
FROM BASIC TRAINING?
59
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:48,273
- IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT
AT FIRST,
60
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,730
YOU KNOW, LIVING WITH MY--
WITH MY INJURY.
61
00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:53,127
YOU KNOW, IT TOOK ITS TOLL
ON MY RELATIONSHIP
62
00:02:53,167 --> 00:02:54,397
AND MY JOB.
63
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,373
MAKE SURE THAT YOU TAKE
TWO PILLS A DAY.
64
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,830
CAN BE AT EACH MEAL.
65
00:02:57,867 --> 00:02:59,827
YOU DON'T HAVE TO EAT BEFORE,
BUT JUST AROUND MEAL TIME.
66
00:02:59,867 --> 00:03:00,967
- SORRY?
67
00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:02,227
- FINISH OUT
THE PRESCRIPTION, OKAY?
68
00:03:02,267 --> 00:03:04,627
- I'M SO SORRY.
I DIDN'T CATCH THAT PART.
69
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,267
- [sighs]
70
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:10,797
- HAS THE MILITARY
OR THE VETERANS ADMINISTRATION
71
00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:13,633
BEEN SUPPORTIVE
OF YOUR CONDITION?
72
00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,797
- NO, I'M GETTING NO SUPPORT
FROM EITHER OF THEM.
73
00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:18,133
THEY DON'T CONSIDER
PRE-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER
74
00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:19,367
A REAL THING.
75
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,400
- PRE-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.
76
00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:23,073
- WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,
77
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,830
IS THAT SOMETIMES
IT JUST GETS VERY HARD...
78
00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:26,567
- I'M SORRY.
I COULDN'T HEAR THAT.
79
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,530
- [whispers indistinctly]
80
00:03:28,567 --> 00:03:29,727
- SORRY. IT'S JUST
WHEN CARS GO BY,
81
00:03:29,767 --> 00:03:30,827
I CAN'T HEAR YOU, SO...
82
00:03:30,867 --> 00:03:33,167
- I UNDERSTAND.
IT'S JUST...
83
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,330
[helicopter whirring]
84
00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:38,827
- THAT HELICOPTER SOUND
MUST NOT REMIND YOU OF WAR,
85
00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:40,797
'CAUSE YOU WERE NEVER THERE.
86
00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:43,173
- [sighs]
87
00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,367
- I LOST MY ARM
IN THE WAR.
88
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,070
- I ALSO LOST MY ARM
IN THE WAR.
89
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,070
- I LOST MY LEG
DURING THE WAR.
90
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,400
- I LOST MY VOICE
THINKING ABOUT BEING IN THE WAR.
91
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,900
- SPONSORED BY
VETERANS AGAINST WAR.
92
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,700
- SIR?
93
00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:37,773
[knock on stall wall]
94
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,200
HELLO?
95
00:04:39,233 --> 00:04:42,073
EXCUSE ME, SIR, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO PLAY CASH STALL?
96
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,070
[swing music]
97
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,730
*
98
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:47,767
[cash register dings]
99
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:49,897
[knock on stall wall]
100
00:04:49,933 --> 00:04:50,973
YOU, IN THE NEXT STALL,
101
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,397
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO PLAY CASH STALL?
102
00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:54,333
THE GAME CASH STALL?
- WAIT.
103
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:56,127
- YOU CAN WIN $100
IF YOU ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS
104
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:57,597
BEFORE YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM.
105
00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:59,433
- [bleep] WEIRDO.
106
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,327
- NO, I'M NOT A WEIRDO.
I'M THE HOST OF CA--SIR?
107
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,827
ARE YOU LEAVING?
108
00:05:03,867 --> 00:05:05,327
I'M SORRY.
YOU LOST CASH STALL.
109
00:05:05,367 --> 00:05:08,327
[toilet flushes]
110
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,073
- [clears throat]
111
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,230
[belt unbuckling]
112
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:22,267
- EXCUSE ME, SIR, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO PLAY CASH STALL?
113
00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:24,973
SIR?
[knock on stall wall]
114
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,827
- EXCUSE ME?
- I'M JON BENJAMIN.
115
00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:28,197
I'M THE HOST OF CASH STALL.
116
00:05:28,233 --> 00:05:30,203
YOU CAN WIN $100 IF YOU...
- CASH WHAT?
117
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:32,533
- CASH STALL,
LIKE THE STALLS THAT WE'RE IN
118
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:33,827
IN THE BATHROOM.
119
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,597
- NO.
- [chuckles]
120
00:05:36,633 --> 00:05:39,773
I'M SERIOUS.
IT'S $100 IF YOU--
121
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,870
AND I CAN SHOW IT TO YOU.
IT'S RIGHT THERE.
122
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,700
- [bleep] YOU, MAN.
123
00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:45,533
GET THE [bleep] OUT OF HERE
WITH THIS.
124
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,327
- [chuckles]
125
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,927
- YOU OUT YOUR GOD DAMN MIND?
126
00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:53,097
- SO YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY
CASH STALL?
127
00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:56,433
- [bleep] YOU, MAN!
WHAT THE [bleep]?!
128
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,100
[toilet flushes]
129
00:06:00,133 --> 00:06:01,873
[swing music]
130
00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:05,567
- AND NOW
A JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN
131
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:06,770
FOLLOW-UP.
132
00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:11,833
PREVIOUSLY WE DID A STORY
ABOUT BORDER SECURITY,
133
00:06:11,867 --> 00:06:13,727
WHICH, AS YOU
MIGHT WELL REMEMBER,
134
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,227
WENT A LITTLE AWRY.
135
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:16,397
WHOA!
136
00:06:16,433 --> 00:06:18,403
[country music]
137
00:06:18,433 --> 00:06:22,773
*
138
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:26,903
- SO PEDESTRIANS
CROSSING ON FOOT
139
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,233
WILL GO TO THE LEFT
OF THE GUARD STATION.
140
00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:29,597
- MM-HMM.
- ALL VEHICLES WILL CROSS HERE
141
00:06:29,633 --> 00:06:30,973
AT THE ACTUAL BORDER ITSELF.
142
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,427
- SO THIS IS THE ACTUAL BORDER.
- YES, SIR.
143
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:34,597
- SO IF I JUMPED
OVER HERE RIGHT NOW,
144
00:06:34,633 --> 00:06:35,933
I'D HAVE TO GO
ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE
145
00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:37,197
JUST TO GET BACK
INTO THE STATES.
146
00:06:37,233 --> 00:06:38,533
- YES, SIR.
- WOW.
147
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,067
- OH, CAN YOU HOLD ON A SEC?
- SURE.
148
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,697
- ROB. ROB.
149
00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:43,073
HEY, CAN YOU LOOK AT THIS
FOR A SEC?
150
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:44,197
- WHAT?
151
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:45,533
- NO, I WAS JUST TALKING
TO THE BORDER GUARD...
152
00:06:45,567 --> 00:06:46,827
- YEAH?
153
00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:48,127
- 'CAUSE HE WAS SAYING
THAT THIS IS--
154
00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:50,297
THIS AREA RIGHT HERE IS THE--
- YEAH?
155
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,603
- SIR.
- REALLY FUNNY, JON.
156
00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:54,533
- SIR, YOU CANNOT CROSS HERE.
- OKAY.
157
00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:56,067
HE JUST PUSHED ME OVER, SIR,
'CAUSE IT'S FUNNY...
158
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,827
- SIR, I'M SORRY, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO MAKE YOUR WAY
159
00:06:57,867 --> 00:06:59,727
AT THIS TIME
TO THE OFFICIAL REENTRY POINT.
160
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,327
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- THOSE ARE THE RULES.
161
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:02,667
THAT'S THE LAW.
162
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,130
- OKAY. LET ME
JUST GET MY PASSPORT.
163
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:05,467
- SIR, I'M NOT GONNA
TELL YOU AGAIN.
164
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,800
THERE IS NO ENTRY HERE.
NO PASADA AQUI.
165
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:09,173
- GRACIAS.
166
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,370
JON, COULD YOU PLEASE GET
MY PASSPORT OUT OF THE VAN?
167
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,270
- NO.
- JON, GET MY PASSPORT
168
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,830
OUT OF THE VAN RIGHT NOW.
169
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,167
- I SAID, NO, ROB,
I'M NOT GETTING IT!
170
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,600
- THIS ISN'T A JOKE, JON!
171
00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:20,333
- COME ON, WE'RE GOING.
- JON, YOU'RE GETTING--
172
00:07:20,367 --> 00:07:21,897
DO NOT GET IN THAT--
173
00:07:21,933 --> 00:07:23,903
I'M OKAY.
- LEO, NO, COME WITH ME.
174
00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:25,373
- LEO.
- LEO!
175
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,770
- GIVE ME MY [bleep]
PASSPORT, YOU ASS--
176
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:27,970
OKAY, OKAY, GUYS.
177
00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:30,567
NO PROBLEMO, GUYS.
IT'S A JOKE.
178
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,570
A CHISTE. YOU KNOW
CHISTE GRACIOSA?
179
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,400
- HAVE FUN IN MEXICO, ROB!
180
00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:37,403
- OKAY, OKAY.
- [laughs]
181
00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:39,673
- I'M JUST GONNA WALK...
[engine starts]
182
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:41,200
TO AMERICA ENTRADO, OKAY?
- WE'LL SEE YOU BACK
183
00:07:41,233 --> 00:07:43,503
IN AMERICA SOMEDAY!
184
00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:47,303
- YOU [bleep] DICK!
- [laughs]
185
00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:51,203
ONE YEAR LATER
WE WENT DOWN TO MEXICO
186
00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:54,233
TO CHECK IN ON ROB
AND SEE HOW HE WAS DOING.
187
00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:57,367
[Spanish guitar music]
188
00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,130
*
189
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:20,197
[man sings in Spanish]
190
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:03,703
- [speaks Spanish]
191
00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,973
- NO, NO, I DON'T--
I'M JON...
192
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,427
- [crying]
NO, NO, NO, NO...
193
00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:09,597
- NO, I'M HERE FOR ROB,
ROB SHUTTERMAN.
194
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,373
I'M JON BENJAMIN
FROM AMERICA.
195
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,700
I'M HERE TO SEE ROB.
A FRIEND.
196
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:14,833
- OH.
197
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:16,067
- I'M NOT GONNA TAKE
YOUR BABY.
198
00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:17,067
I DON'T WANT IT.
199
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:18,867
- JUAN BENJAMIN.
200
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:21,100
- JON BENJAMIN, YES.
ROB LIVES HERE?
201
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:23,403
- [speaks Spanish]
202
00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:25,073
- OKAY. I'M SORRY
FOR THE CONFUSION.
203
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,200
YEAH, I DON'T TAKE BABIES.
204
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,103
- [baby cries]
205
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,473
- BAD THINGS HAPPEN HERE.
206
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,800
HERE. HERE'S GIFTS
FROM AMERICA.
207
00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:34,303
- NO, NO, NO.
- YEAH, YEAH. $3.
208
00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:37,173
- GRACIAS.
- SORRY ABOUT YOUR BABY.
209
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,770
- [crying]
210
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,430
[chickens clucking]
211
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:43,797
- ROB?
212
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,700
- IT'S CRAZY
THAT YOU LIVE HERE, ROB.
213
00:09:50,733 --> 00:09:52,333
- SI, MUY BONITA AQUI.
214
00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:53,497
- WHAT?
215
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:55,533
- [Spanish accent]
IT'S PRETTY.
216
00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:58,227
- YEAH. LOOK, I WANNA APOLOGIZE
FOR DOING THE JOKE
217
00:09:58,267 --> 00:09:59,567
WHERE I PUSHED YOU
OVER THE BORDER.
218
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,530
IT WAS--IT WAS JUVENILE,
AND I'M SORRY IT HAPPENED.
219
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:03,627
- THANK YOU.
220
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,667
I WAS ANGRY AT FIRST, BUT...
221
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,970
IT WAS FUNNY.
222
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,170
both: [laugh]
- YEAH.
223
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,670
- IT WAS.
- WELL, THE THING IS,
224
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:10,830
I CERTAINLY
DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU
225
00:10:10,867 --> 00:10:12,227
TO HAVE TO LIVE
IN MEXICO FOR A YEAR.
226
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:13,367
- NO, JUAN.
227
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,400
I HAVE SO MUCH
TO BE THANKFUL FOR HERE.
228
00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:18,773
SURE, IT WAS HARD
TO MAKE A LIVING FIRST,
229
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,270
AND MY FIRST CHILD
WAS KILLED BY LOS ZETAS.
230
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,530
- WHAT IS THAT?
- DRUG GANG.
231
00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:27,297
- SORRY.
- BANG-BANG.
232
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,900
BUT JUAN BENJAMIN
IS IN THE CASA.
233
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:32,733
- [laughs]
- DO YOU LIKE WINE?
234
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:35,867
- YOU KNOW I DO.
- WE HAVE THE BEST RED WINE.
235
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:38,000
- OH, WOW.
LET'S--YEAH.
236
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,800
- IT'S THE BEST WINE
YOU EVER HAD.
237
00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:49,403
I'M SORRY WE
DIDN'T HAVE ANY WINE.
238
00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:50,603
- OH, IT'S FINE.
239
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:53,003
IT'S 9:00 A.M. ANYWAY.
240
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:54,873
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, ROB.
241
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:58,400
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE
A WIFE AND A FAMILY AND...
242
00:10:58,433 --> 00:11:00,073
YOU USED TO BE SUCH
A SELF-ABSORBED ASS [bleep]
243
00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,327
IN THE STATES.
244
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,827
BUT NOW, YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE DONE SO MUCH IN A YEAR.
245
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:07,167
- SI. AS YOU GRINGOS SAY,
LIFE IS A FAST LANE.
246
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,170
- IT'S "LIFE
IN THE FAST LANE," ROB.
247
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,970
- MAYBE.
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
248
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:12,627
WE'RE DOWN HERE
DOING A STORY
249
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:14,297
ABOUT THE WORLD'S
MOST PHOTOGRAPHED BABY
250
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,333
IN THE TOWN
OF LA FRONTERA COMALAPA.
251
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:17,667
DO YOU KNOW IT?
- SI, SI.
252
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:19,330
OH, IT'S LOVELY DOWN THERE.
- YEAH.
253
00:11:19,367 --> 00:11:20,567
I MEAN,
WE HAVE A BETTER PRODUCER
254
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:21,770
THAN YOU EVER WERE,
255
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,100
BUT WE COULD USE
YOUR LANGUAGE SKILLS
256
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:24,473
IF YOU WANNA COME
AND HELP.
257
00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:27,397
- I WOULD LOVE THAT.
258
00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:29,403
- WELL, LET'S DO IT.
- MM.
259
00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:31,273
AS LONG AS CATALINA
SAYS IT'S OKAY.
260
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,800
- [laughs]
IS THAT THE WIFE?
261
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,173
- SI, SI.
[mimics whip cracking]
262
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,070
- YEAH, I KNOW,
WOMEN ARE AWFUL.
263
00:11:44,133 --> 00:11:45,233
- PRETTY THICK JUNGLE, HUH?
264
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:47,627
- OH, THE JUNGLE IS SO VERDANT.
265
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,497
- THE HOUSE IS OVER HERE.
266
00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:50,833
SO WE'LL JUST DO
THE STORY,
267
00:11:50,867 --> 00:11:52,297
AND THEN I'LL
TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER
268
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,533
ON THE SHOW.
- SURE.
269
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:55,067
I'M GLAD I DON'T DO
THIS ANYMORE.
270
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:58,770
- [laughs] I KNOW.
IT'S NOT AS EASY AS IT--
271
00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,803
- NO, NO, NO.
- NO ENTRADA.
272
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:04,203
- ES UN CHISTE, AMIGO.
273
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:05,873
- NO CHISTE.
NO PASAPORTE, NO ENTRE.
274
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:06,970
JUAN.
- WHAT?
275
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:08,097
- PLEASE.
- OH.
276
00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:09,503
- MY WIFE, MY CHILDREN.
277
00:12:09,533 --> 00:12:11,373
- I DON'T CARE, ROB.
- PLEASE, JUAN.
278
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,370
IT TOOK ME SO LONG
TO PUT MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER.
279
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,770
- I DID IT AGAIN.
I GOTTA GO.
280
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,970
- JUAN, PLEASE! I DON'T WANT
TO LIVE IN GUATEMALA!
281
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:18,797
- HAVE FUN
IN GUATEMALA, ROB!
282
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:21,133
- YOU ARE SUCH A [bleep]!
- YOU IDIOT, SHUT UP!
283
00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:22,397
- YOU ASS [bleep]!
284
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:23,733
PLEASE, AMIGO.
- SU PASAPORTE.
285
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:25,727
- SOY MEXICANO.
- NO. [speaks Spanish]
286
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,267
- NO PROBLEMAS.
287
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,630
[disco funk music]
288
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:43,267
*
289
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:47,597
- EXCUSE ME.
- OH, WE'RE...
290
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:50,333
- ARE THEY FILMING SOMETHING?
- YEAH, THIS IS YOU CAN'T...
291
00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:51,697
- WHO IS THIS?
292
00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:53,233
- THIS IS
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE! SO...
293
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:54,897
THE SHOW
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
294
00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:57,733
- CAN YOU--
WAIT, I'M SORRY?
295
00:12:57,767 --> 00:12:59,197
- THIS IS THE SHOW
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
296
00:12:59,233 --> 00:13:01,273
WE'RE HERE TO SHOOT
VIDEO FOR THE SHOW,
297
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,070
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
298
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:05,667
- OKAY. UM...
- OKAY?
299
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,070
I MEAN, I'LL
JUST WALK AROUND AND...
300
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,367
- WELL, LET ME GET--
301
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,870
'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO SHOOT...IN HERE.
302
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:11,570
- RIGHT, I KNOW.
303
00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:15,327
HI, WE'RE WITH
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
304
00:13:15,367 --> 00:13:16,827
- WHO?
- YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
305
00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,327
WE'RE WITH THE SHOW
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
306
00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:20,167
WE'RE JUST GONNA SHOOT
IN THE LOBBY.
307
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,970
- NO, UNFORTUNATELY
YOU CAN'T.
308
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,697
- YOU CAN'T WHAT?
- YOU CAN'T SHOOT IN HERE.
309
00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:29,397
- CAN YOU--
SIR, EXCUSE ME?
310
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,203
HI, HI.
SIR, SIR...
311
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:33,203
- OH, WE WERE JUST EXPLAINING
THAT WE'RE ON THE SHOW
312
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:34,533
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
AND THAT'S WHY...
313
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,067
- NO, YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE.
314
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,530
- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS SIGN THE FORM,
315
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,827
AND WE SHOOT HERE,
AND THEN YOU'RE ON THE SHOW
316
00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,227
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
- YOU CANNOT SHOOT HERE.
317
00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,827
- CAN YOU SHOOT VIDEO IN HERE?
318
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,167
- CAROL?
- UH, NO, WE CAN'T.
319
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:50,573
- JUST TELL HER WE'LL
SHOOT IN THE PLACE.
320
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,900
JUST TELL HER WE'LL
SHOOT AROUND...
321
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,933
WE'RE JUST SHOOTING AROUND...
322
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:55,967
- WE CAN'T SHOOT THERE?
323
00:13:57,833 --> 00:14:00,303
- WE'RE SHOOTING IN PLACES
WHERE YOU CAN'T SHOOT.
324
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:01,773
AND WE ALREADY GOT IT.
325
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,070
SO WE'RE DONE, MAN.
326
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,100
- WELL, HEH...
327
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:07,067
- WE'RE DOING THE SHOW--
328
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,067
I'M SORRY,
YOU'RE IN A MEETING.
329
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,230
- YES.
- SILLY TO--
330
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:10,397
- BUT YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
331
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:13,233
- NO FILMING IN THE STORE.
332
00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:15,267
- HE HAS TO TURN
THIS THING OFF NOW.
333
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:16,300
- THAT'S A NICE SCARF.
334
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:21,297
- I MEAN, THANKS FOR BEING ON
YOU CAN'T SHOOT HERE!
335
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,230
- COMING UP ON
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN...
336
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,627
OUR EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
337
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,827
WITH RECLUSIVE GUATEMALAN
DRUG LORD EL MANTA BLANCA.
338
00:14:30,867 --> 00:14:32,297
- LET'S GET A GOOD STORY.
339
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,803
- WE'RE PRESENTLY ON ROUTE
TO THE SECLUDED,
340
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:40,373
HIGHLY-SECURED COMPOUND
OF EL MANTA BLANCA,
341
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,770
ONE OF
THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE'S
342
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,730
MOST INFAMOUS DRUG LORDS.
343
00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:46,627
HE'S NEVER DONE AN ON-CAMERA
INTERVIEW BEFORE,
344
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,697
UNTIL NOW.
345
00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:50,573
WITH ME.
346
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,300
JON BENJAMIN.
347
00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:24,067
THANK YOU.
348
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,770
HI. JON.
349
00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,073
[smacking lips rhythmically]
350
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:42,427
[doors open]
351
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:58,130
HOW ARE YOU?
I'M JON.
352
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,467
UH, BENJAMIN.
353
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,100
OBVIOUSLY, THANK YOU FOR, UH--
354
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:04,973
- EL MANTA BLANCA
WILL SEE YOU NOW.
355
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:07,127
- I JUST...YOU KNOW, I--
356
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:11,600
- [Spanish accent]
JUAN?
357
00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:13,873
- ROB?
358
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:16,500
- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WAS
DOING THIS INTERVIEW.
359
00:16:16,533 --> 00:16:17,673
COME!
360
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,373
[kiss] AH!
361
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,900
YOU LOOK WELL.
362
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:25,133
- SO YOU WORK FOR
EL MANTA BLANCA NOW?
363
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,397
- NO.
364
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:29,103
I AM EL MANTA BLANCA!
365
00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:32,073
- WAIT, WHAT--
THAT'S A JOKE, RIGHT?
366
00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:34,267
- IT'S NO CHISTE.
367
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:35,630
- NO WHAT?
368
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,697
- "JOKE," IN SPANISH.
369
00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:39,633
- IT'S, UH...
WELL, WHO'S THAT?
370
00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:42,367
- THIS IS BERNIE,
MY FATHER.
371
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,530
HE'S VISITING
FROM FLORIDA.
372
00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:45,967
- OH, YEAH,
I RECOGNIZE HIM
373
00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:47,397
FROM THE PICTURES
FROM THAT--
374
00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:48,773
YEAH, HI.
375
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,970
- HE CAN'T HEAR.
NO EARDRUMS.
376
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,197
- OH, I'M SORRY.
377
00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:55,773
- [sighs]
- Y-YOU--
378
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,270
YOU'RE A DRUG LORD NOW?
379
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,600
- [scoffs] YOU SAY THAT
LIKE IT'S A BAD THING.
380
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:01,333
- WELL, IT IS KIND OF
A BAD THING.
381
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:03,497
- LOOK, I DON'T WANT
TO ARGUE SEMANTICS WITH YOU.
382
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:05,433
- LOOK, I DO WANT
TO APOLOGIZE
383
00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,827
FOR DOING THE JOKE
A YEAR AGO,
384
00:17:07,867 --> 00:17:08,927
WHEN I PUSHED YOU
OVER THE BORDER--
385
00:17:08,967 --> 00:17:10,267
- JUAN...
386
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,400
THINGS HAPPEN
ALL THE TIME.
387
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:14,273
- YEAH.
- FOR INSTANCE...
388
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,530
- JESUS CHRIST, ROB,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
389
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:20,167
- I JUST SHOT MY FATHER
IN THE FACE.
390
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,100
- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
391
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:23,433
- YOU SEE, JUAN...
392
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,667
MY FATHER...
393
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,100
HE WAS SELLING INFORMATION
TO THE F.B.I.
394
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:30,873
ABOUT MY DRUG BUSINESS!
395
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:34,070
IT'S FUNNY WHAT HAPPENS, NO?
396
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,130
- YEAH.
397
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:36,467
- DO YOU KNOW,
IN THE YEAR SINCE YOU
398
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:37,830
PUSHED ME
OVER THE BORDER
399
00:17:37,867 --> 00:17:39,867
INTO GUATEMALA,
400
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:44,330
I'VE BECOME A VERY
IMPORTANT MAN, AS YOU CAN SEE.
401
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:47,797
BUT I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN
THE LIVES I'VE LEFT BEHIND.
402
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,903
I LIVE A WAKING DREAM!
403
00:17:49,933 --> 00:17:52,873
WITH THE FACES OF MY PAST
WHISPERING PAST ME,
404
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:57,630
LIKE SPECTERS FROM
SOME LOST CIVILIZATION!
405
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:58,797
BUT NOW...
406
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:00,873
HERE IN GUATEMALA...
407
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,430
THOUSANDS OF LIVES
408
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:06,127
HANG ON EACH AND EVERY
DECISION I MAKE.
409
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:08,797
INCLUDING YOURS, MY FRIEND.
410
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,503
- SENOR SHUTTERMAN,
THE ARMY'S COMING!
411
00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:12,533
YOU MUST LEAVE NOW, SIR!
- LET'S GO!
412
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:14,267
- COME ON!
- GET THE JEEP! GET THE JEEP!
413
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,070
[overlapping shouts]
414
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,170
- GO NOW!
- COME ON!
415
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,570
[indistinct shouting]
416
00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,067
- VAMONOS! VAMONOS!
417
00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:26,767
[speaking Spanish]
418
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,100
HERE! COVER US!
419
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:30,903
- I DON'T WANT...
OH, GOD.
420
00:18:30,933 --> 00:18:33,603
- [shouting in Spanish]
421
00:18:33,633 --> 00:18:34,673
- NO!
422
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,600
THEY'RE COMING!
423
00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:38,333
[machine gun fire]
424
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,197
- SHOOT! SHOOT! SHOOT!
425
00:18:40,233 --> 00:18:42,833
- I'VE NEVER FIRED
A GUN BEFORE, ROB!
426
00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:45,097
- NO, DON'T SHOOT ME!
SHOOT THE WHEELS!
427
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:46,703
AH! GET DOWN!
428
00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:48,103
- OH, MY GOD,
THEY'RE SHOOTING BACK!
429
00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:52,467
OH, MY GOD.
430
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,770
- KEEP SHOOTING!
BLOW OUT THE TIRES!
431
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,100
- OH, GOD.
I'M OUT OF BULLETS!
432
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:03,133
AAH! THE GUN'S HOT!
433
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:04,867
[bullet ricochets]
- AAH!
434
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,400
- YOU'RE HIT!
435
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,373
I'M OUT OF BULLETS!
436
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,170
- [groaning]
- THEY SHOT THE TIRE OUT!
437
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,130
- WE'LL GO ON FOOT!
- YOU GOT BLOOD ON ME!
438
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,627
- THE BORDER!
439
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:14,867
NOW YOU HELP ME!
440
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,900
- HANG ON!
- [groaning]
441
00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:18,433
- I GOT YOU.
442
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:19,497
- AAH!
- I GOT YOU.
443
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,433
- MY SHOULDER, IT HURTS.
- HANG ON.
444
00:19:23,233 --> 00:19:24,933
- JON, JON...
445
00:19:24,967 --> 00:19:27,067
DO THE JOKE.
446
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:28,197
- WHAT JOKE?
447
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:31,473
- [drops accent] THE JOKE.
448
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,630
WHERE YOU PUSH ME
OVER THE BORDER.
449
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:36,567
[touching music]
450
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,330
*
451
00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:39,967
- IT WOULD BE AN HONOR...
452
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:41,067
OLD FRIEND.
453
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,570
- THANK YOU.
454
00:19:45,633 --> 00:19:46,933
[audio slowed]
- [grunts]
455
00:19:46,967 --> 00:19:49,627
[audio slowed]
- OHHH!
456
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:51,697
AAH!
457
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:56,133
[indistinct chatter]
458
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,903
- [laughing, audio slowed]
459
00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:05,973
[normal audio]
- SORRY, FELLAS.
460
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,430
A LITTLE LATE.
461
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,467
- YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY, JON.
462
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:09,700
- DON'T WORRY, ROB.
463
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:11,733
I GOT MY PASSPORT.
464
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,130
- ACTUALLY, YOU DON'T, JON!
465
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:17,527
HA HA HA HA!
466
00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:19,097
- GIVE ME MY PASSPORT, ROB.
467
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:20,403
- NOO!
468
00:20:20,433 --> 00:20:21,973
- GIVE IT BACK!
THAT'S MY PASSPORT!
469
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,230
- NO! YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
- THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!
470
00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:26,267
- [high-pitched laugh]
- JESUS CHRIST, NO!
471
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,930
THAT'S--THAT'S MY JOKE,
YOU ASS [bleep]!
472
00:20:28,967 --> 00:20:31,127
OH, MY GOD!
- [laughing]
473
00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:34,327
BORDER!
474
00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:43,467
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