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1
00:00:03,233 --> 00:00:04,773
- TONIGHT ON
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN...
2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:08,370
SHOULD THIS MAN GET HIS
HOMEMADE WHEELCHAIR GUN BACK?
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,130
THIS IS ALLEGEDLY THE POOREST
COMMUNITY IN THE COUNTRY,
4
00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:14,267
SO WHY DON'T THE RESIDENTS
WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT IT?
5
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,230
AND A VISIT WITH
SHANE COWANS,
6
00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:19,827
ONE OF AMERICA'S PREEMINENT
JAZZ AIR GUITARISTS.
7
00:00:19,867 --> 00:00:22,827
[jazz music plays]
8
00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:25,867
*
9
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:35,603
ALL THIS AND MORE ON TONIGHT'S
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN.
10
00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:38,603
[gripping music]
11
00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:44,433
*
12
00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:02,067
HERE WE ARE AT
THE HOME OF GREG FUGGS
13
00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,497
IN LANCASTER, MONTANA.
14
00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:07,273
IN 2003, HE LOST
THE USE OF ALL FOUR LIMBS
15
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,670
BUT HE NEVER LOST
HIS LOVE OF SHOOTING GUNS.
16
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:14,100
BUT THEN...
TRAGEDY STRUCK.
17
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,073
- I WANT MY HOMEMADE
WHEELCHAIR GUN BACK.
18
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,730
AND I'LL FIGHT AS LONG
AS I HAVE TO TO GET IT BACK.
19
00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:20,667
- THE WHEELCHAIR GUN
HE'S REFERRING TO
20
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,800
IS THIS ONE.
21
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:26,603
[blows air,
rapid gunfire]
22
00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,533
IT TOOK GREG FUGGS
THREE YEARS
23
00:01:28,567 --> 00:01:30,197
TO CONSTRUCT
HIS WHEELCHAIR GUN.
24
00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:32,533
- CUSTOM-MOUNTED
TWIN AK-47s.
25
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:35,627
600 ROUNDS PER MINUTE,
EXTRA AMMO,
26
00:01:35,667 --> 00:01:39,327
AND A BREATHING TUBE TO RELEASE
THE TRIGGER MECHANISM.
27
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,897
ALL IN ALL,
A PRETTY NICE WEAPONS PROFILE
28
00:01:41,933 --> 00:01:43,203
FOR A WHEELCHAIR.
29
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:47,103
BUT IN THE WRONG HANDS,
COULD DO A LOT OF DAMAGE.
30
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:49,333
- AND THOSE HANDS
TURNED OUT TO BE THIS BOY'S.
31
00:01:49,367 --> 00:01:50,597
NINE-YEAR-OLD LUCAS COLE,
32
00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:53,173
WHO FOUND IT
SITTING ON MR. FUGGS' PORCH.
33
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:58,170
- I LEFT IT OUT THERE FOR,
LIKE, 20 MINUTES.
34
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,630
- AND THEN WHEN
YOU CAME BACK OUT...?
35
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:01,697
- IT WAS GONE!
36
00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:03,173
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED TO IT.
37
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,530
- A LOT OF KIDS
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?
38
00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:08,397
- YOU KNOW, I LIKE IT
WHEN KIDS COME BY.
39
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:11,797
- UNFORTUNATELY,
SOME KID DID COME BY,
40
00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:13,833
AS SEEN HERE
IN THIS REENACTMENT.
41
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:22,167
[rapid gunfire]
42
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,230
[gunfire continues]
43
00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:29,367
[terrified screams,
gunfire]
44
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,430
- AH!
45
00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:36,267
[screams continue,
gunfire]
46
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,803
- JIMMY, ARE YOU OKAY?
47
00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:48,333
[screams]
48
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:49,567
- BUT JUST WHEN IT SEEMED
49
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,070
THE SHOOTING SPREE
WAS GOING TO END,
50
00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,297
LUCAS COLE DISCOVERED
THE ULTIMATE PRIZE
51
00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:59,203
FOR A BOY WHO HAD
STOLEN A WHEELCHAIR GUN...
52
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:02,173
- I'LL TELL YOU,
I'LL NEVER FORGET THE SOUND.
53
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,470
YOU KNOW...
[imitates gunfire]
54
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:09,230
- LUCAS COLE PROCEEDED
TO OPEN FIRE ON A MIRROR STORE.
55
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:12,297
[gunfire,
glass shattering]
56
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,670
[screams]
57
00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:29,800
- WELL, I JUST HOPE SOMETHING
GOOD CAN COME OUT OF THIS.
58
00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:32,573
- WHAT POSSIBLE
GOOD CAN COME OUT OF IT?
59
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,370
- I KNOW, YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST LUCKY TO BE ALIVE.
60
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:38,700
BUT PART OF ME
CAN'T STOP THINKING WHY ME?
61
00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:40,073
WHY MY MIRROR STORE?
62
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,330
- I KEEP THINKING
63
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:44,267
THAT WHAT IF THE KID
WHO STOLE THE WHEELCHAIR,
64
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,500
IF HE'D COME THIS WAY,
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY STORE.
65
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:50,303
MY MIRROR STORE,
INSTEAD OF ED'S.
66
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,833
[sighs]
67
00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:53,627
I MEAN, YOU JUST
NEVER KNOW, YOU KNOW?
68
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,527
- I MEAN, IT HONESTLY,
THAT'S ONE IN A MILLION
69
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:59,567
THAT YOU LEAVE
A WHEELCHAIR GUN OUT, AND...
70
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,330
GREG?
71
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,167
- [breathes heavily]
72
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,600
- ARE YOU CRYING?
73
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:08,403
- [breathes heavily]
74
00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,733
- GREG,
ARE YOU CRYING?
75
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,567
- [sighs]
- STOP CRYING.
76
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,800
- I LOST MY ARMS AND LEGS,
DID YOU LOSE YOUR EYEBALLS, JON?
77
00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:18,203
- STOP CRYING.
DON'T BE A BABY.
78
00:04:18,233 --> 00:04:20,173
STOP CRYING.
79
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,430
- [sighs]
80
00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:23,897
- YOU GOTTA MAN UP.
81
00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:25,103
- YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU WALKED IN HERE,
82
00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:27,433
YOU DIDN'T LOOK LIKE AN
[bleep]HOLE.
83
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:31,927
- OH, BUT NOW...?
84
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,297
AND NOW I AM?
85
00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:41,297
EXCUSE ME, SIR,
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
86
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:44,103
- MAYBE.
- OKAY.
87
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:45,803
ALL RIGHT.
88
00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:48,833
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?
89
00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:56,533
IT'S ALL YOURS.
90
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:59,067
YES?
91
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,330
NOT GONNA ASK ME ANYTHING?
92
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,627
EH.
93
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:04,627
- DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
94
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:07,097
- FOR WHAT?
95
00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:10,133
- OKAY, WHAT
CAN I HELP YOU WITH?
96
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:15,130
WHO'S THIS FOR?
97
00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:18,167
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT IS.
98
00:05:23,967 --> 00:05:25,297
- [mumbling quietly]
- I'M SORRY?
99
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:28,333
- [mumbling quietly]
- HOW CAN I--HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
100
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,830
- [mumbles]
101
00:05:35,867 --> 00:05:37,567
- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?
102
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,067
- HELLO?
103
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,100
- I'M STANDING HERE AT
THE HEART OF THE NEVADA DESERT
104
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,403
JUST 70 MILES
NORTH OF LAS VEGAS.
105
00:05:53,433 --> 00:05:56,073
THE LAND I'M STANDING
ON HERE IS PUBLIC.
106
00:05:56,067 --> 00:06:00,627
BUT THE LAND BEHIND THIS FENCE
IS STRICTLY OFF-LIMITS.
107
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:02,667
FOR YEARS,
RUMORS HAVE BEEN CIRCULATING
108
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,270
ABOUT
A TOP SECRET PRIVATE EVENT
109
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:07,330
THAT'S HELD HERE
ON THE 12,000 ACRES
110
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,297
OF PRIVATELY-OWNED DESERT
BEHIND ME.
111
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:12,333
MY SHOW HAS
JUST OBTAINED DOCUMENTS
112
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:15,297
THAT REVEAL THE APPALLING
TRUTH OF WHAT GOES ON HERE
113
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,433
IN WHAT THE PARTICIPANTS
CALL "THE POOR FARM."
114
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,470
FOR ONE WEEK OUT
OF EVERY YEAR,
115
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,330
THE WORLD'S
500 WEALTHIEST PEOPLE
116
00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:29,397
GATHER IN THIS
METICULOUSLY SIMULATED
117
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,573
POVERTY-RIDDEN COMMUNITY--
118
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,170
REPLETE WITH TRAILER PARKS,
119
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,270
SUBSIDIZED HOUSING TOWERS,
AND TENT CITIES.
120
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,170
AND FOR
SEVERAL MILLION DOLLARS,
121
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,170
EACH ONE OF THEM GETS TO
REVEL IN PRETENDING
122
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,070
THEY ARE THE POOREST
OF THE POOR.
123
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,497
SO TELL ME
ABOUT THE POOR FARM.
124
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,533
- I'VE BEEN THERE.
I DROVE IN THEIR SUPPLIES.
125
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:53,267
- MM-HMM.
- THEY GOT THEMSELVES
126
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,170
A WHOLE CRAPPY CITY
OVER THERE.
127
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:59,100
THEY GOT, LIKE, PROJECTS,
AND, LIKE, SEVEN ARBY'S,
128
00:06:59,133 --> 00:07:03,273
AND BOARDED-UP DINERS
AND INTERNET CAFES.
129
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,330
- SO WHAT'S THE WORST THING
YOU'VE EVER SEEN?
130
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,627
- MY DADDY KILLING HIMSELF.
131
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:10,827
- NO, I MEAN
ON THE POOR FARM.
132
00:07:10,867 --> 00:07:15,267
- OH, TWO GUYS
TAKING A [bleep] ON A BUS.
133
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,070
- THAT IS PRETTY NASTY.
134
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:18,427
- YES, IT WAS.
135
00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:21,127
- YOU MAY ASSUME THAT THIS
IS A PHOTO OF A HOMELESS MAN
136
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:24,427
ON THE STREET OF SOME
RANDOM AMERICAN URBAN LANDSCAPE.
137
00:07:24,467 --> 00:07:26,897
BUT THIS MAN
IS CARLOS ALVAREZ,
138
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:29,573
ARGENTINEAN
TELECOMMUNICATIONS MOGUL.
139
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:34,070
NET WORTH...
140
00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:36,067
THESE TWO ARE NOT
YOUR EVERYDAY LAYABOUTS
141
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,827
DRINKING ALL DAY IN
A DILAPIDATED PUBLIC PARK.
142
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:42,227
THEY ARE JASON FEINMAN,
RETAIL CONGLOMERATE CEO,
143
00:07:42,267 --> 00:07:44,967
AND CHARLES WHITWORTH,
OIL BARON,
144
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:47,597
WORTH SOME
$3 BILLION IN ASSETS.
145
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,473
- I USED TO GO A LOT.
146
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,330
IT WAS A ROUGH WEEK.
147
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:55,297
I MADE $7 AN HOUR WORKING
IN AN ALL-NIGHT GAS STATION.
148
00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,303
LIVED IN A 10X12 APARTMENT
149
00:07:57,333 --> 00:08:02,633
WITH RATS, AND ROACHES, AND
BED BUGS, AND CONCRETE WALLS.
150
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,327
- SOUNDS AWFUL.
151
00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:08,327
- [chuckles]
NO, IT WAS FANTASTIC.
152
00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:10,567
THE BEST PART WAS
GOING HOME.
153
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,100
SEEING THE DIFFERENCE.
154
00:08:12,133 --> 00:08:15,103
OH, THAT AND...
AND THE TIME
155
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:17,633
ME AND ROGER GUGGENHEIM
TOOK [bleep] ON A BUS.
156
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,367
- [chuckles]
I THINK I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
157
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,900
YEAH.
- YEAH, WELL...
158
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,933
THERE WAS SOMEONE
WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME.
159
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,300
- BECAUSE THERE'S BEEN
NO FOOTAGE EVER RECORDED
160
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,073
OF THE ACTUAL
POOR FARM ITSELF--
161
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,067
EXCEPT
A COUPLE FUZZY SNAPSHOTS,
162
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,727
WE'VE
ACQUIRED THE LOCATION
163
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:37,767
OF THE SECRET
ENTRANCE POINT, AND...
164
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,167
GUYS,
THE VAN JUST STALLED.
165
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,670
- WHAT?
- WE OUT OF GAS?
166
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:43,970
- NO,
IT WAS A FULL TANK.
167
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,067
[scoffs]
168
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,597
- DID YOU
LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON?
169
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:49,173
- NO, I DIDN'T
LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON.
170
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,800
DID YOU?
- WELL, TRY IT.
171
00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:52,473
TRY IT AGAIN.
172
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,530
- NATHAN?
- YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD.
173
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,497
- NO, DO YOU KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT VANS?
174
00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:59,133
- WHAT, NO--
WHAT?
175
00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:01,227
- THE VAN IS DEAD.
176
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:05,603
SO YOU GUYS NOW HAVE TOUCHED
EVERYTHING IN THE ENGINE,
177
00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:08,473
AND YOU BOTH KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT ENGINES, RIGHT?
178
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,530
LEO, YOU WANNA
CHECK THE OIL AGAIN?
179
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:13,067
- IS THAT WHAT THAT IS?
- [sniffs]
180
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,067
- JUST CALL A TOW TRUCK.
181
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:17,397
I GOT NO BARS.
YOU GOT ANYTHING?
182
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,073
- NO RECEPTION.
- I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.
183
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,730
- NATHAN?
- I DON'T HAVE A PHONE.
184
00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,067
- YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE?
185
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:26,227
- I SKYPE.
- OH, MY GOD.
186
00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,497
WELL, I MEAN, WE'RE
COMPLETELY SCREWED, RIGHT?
187
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:29,973
SO WE'RE IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT,
188
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:31,497
70 MILES FROM ANYTHING.
189
00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,503
OH.
190
00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:36,103
THERE'S A TRUCK.
191
00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:39,133
HEY.
192
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,967
- OH, GEEZ, THANK GOD.
193
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,367
- THANKS FOR STOPPING.
194
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,270
- HEY, YOU FELLAS
LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE A HAND.
195
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,200
- OH, OUR VAN BROKE DOWN.
196
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,333
- WELL, THIS AIN'T THE BEST
PLACE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN.
197
00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:56,597
- NO.
NOT AT ALL.
198
00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:59,333
- YOU GUYS MAKING
A MOVIE OR SOMETHING?
199
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:01,467
- OH.
A TV SHOW.
200
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,870
JUST SHOOTING A SEGMENT
FOR IT AROUND HERE.
201
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:06,730
- WELL, BIG SHOTS!
202
00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:09,227
- NO, NO.
NO, NOT REALLY.
203
00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:11,267
I MEAN, ME,
A LITTLE BIT.
204
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,430
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I CAN DO.
205
00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:15,527
TEN MILES UP THE ROAD HERE,
THERE'S A LITTLE DINER.
206
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,127
IT'S GOT A PAYPHONE.
207
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,067
MAKE A CALL AND
GET YOURSELF A TOW TRUCK.
208
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,130
- THAT'S PERFECT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
209
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:23,267
- YOU GOT IT.
- UM...
210
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,870
- NATHAN, WHY
DON'T YOU GO WITH HIM?
211
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,170
- [speaks indistinctly]
212
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,130
- GO CALL THE TOW TRUCK
AT THE DINER.
213
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,197
- THAT'D BE PERFECT.
JUST HOP ON UP IN THERE, BUBBA.
214
00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:33,233
- THANKS AGAIN.
- NO SWEAT.
215
00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:35,467
I HOPE YOU GUYS
GET FIXED UP REAL QUICK.
216
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,930
- I HOPE SO TOO.
IT'S NASTY OUT HERE, HUH?
217
00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:40,167
HE'S GONNA BE FINE,
RIGHT?
218
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,530
- YEAH,
HE SEEMED ALL RIGHT.
219
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:44,067
- I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE.
220
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,230
OH, HOLD ON.
221
00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:47,297
NATHAN?
222
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,103
- YEAH.
- GET ME A TEA AT THE DINER?
223
00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:51,003
- A TEA?
- YES, A TEA.
224
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:53,003
- AH!
- BLACK TEA.
225
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:54,533
- BLACK TEA?
- YEAH, GET A RECEIPT.
226
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:56,267
GET A RECEIPT.
- BLACK TEA, NO--
227
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,770
NO MILK, NO SUGAR.
- OKAY.
228
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,570
- JUST PLAIN, OKAY?
- BYE.
229
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,700
- WE'LL SEE YOU
WHEN YOU GET BACK, NATHAN!
230
00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,703
BYE!
231
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:11,973
[audio crackling]
232
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:16,227
[silence]
233
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:46,467
- PREVIOUSLY ON
JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN...
234
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,600
- WE'RE IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT,
235
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,333
70 MILES FROM ANYTHING.
236
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,067
YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE?
- I SKYPE.
237
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:54,067
- HEY, YOU FELLAS LOOK
LIKE YOU COULD USE A HAND.
238
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,167
- OUR VAN BROKE DOWN.
239
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,930
NATHAN, WHY
DON'T YOU GO WITH HIM?
240
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:58,567
BYE!
[audio crackling]
241
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,597
[phone clicks]
242
00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:03,933
[distantly]
HELLO?
243
00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:07,897
- WELL, I SEE YOU
MADE IT TO THE DINER.
244
00:15:07,933 --> 00:15:10,403
- WHERE IS MY SOUND GUY?
245
00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,573
- NATHAN'S FINE.
HE'S WITH ME.
246
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,300
- WHERE'S MY SOUND GUY?
247
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:15,433
- TAKE IT EASY, SON.
248
00:15:15,467 --> 00:15:18,097
YOU WANT YOUR SOUND BACK,
YOU GOTTA PAY.
249
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:21,133
YOU HOLLYWOOD GUYS KNOW
HOW TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
250
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,667
- YOU'LL NEVER
GET AWAY WITH THIS.
251
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,070
- [chuckles]
I AM GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
252
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:26,527
HERE'S HOW
IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
253
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,067
YOU'RE GONNA GET ME $10,000,
YOU'RE GONNA BRING IT
254
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,070
TO THE OLD ABANDONED MOTEL
UP THE ROAD.
255
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:34,797
YOU HAVE ONE HOUR
OR THE SOUND GUY DIES.
256
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,573
- WHAT?
ONE HOUR?
257
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,730
HOW AM I GONNA
GET $10,000 IN ONE HOUR?
258
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,697
- YOUR HOUR STARTS NOW.
259
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:42,773
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
260
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,070
NO--
[phone clicks]
261
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:19,073
[beeping]
[staticky audio]
262
00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,767
- JUMP ON OUT OF THE TRUCK.
263
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,530
STAY CLOSE TO ME.
264
00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:27,633
ALL RIGHT.
265
00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:29,467
COME ON, NATHAN.
266
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,070
STAY REAL CLOSE.
267
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,227
MAKE SURE
THEY GOT EVERYTHING.
268
00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:36,867
YOU GOT THE MONEY?
- RIGHT HERE.
269
00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:38,900
- REAL SLOW.
270
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,933
TOSS IT OVER.
271
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,197
- NOW GIVE US OUR
SOUND GUY.
272
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,233
- LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE GOOD TO GO, NATHAN.
273
00:17:52,533 --> 00:17:54,903
- IT'S OKAY.
274
00:17:54,933 --> 00:17:56,073
WHY ARE YOU ALL WET?
275
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:57,727
- BECAUSE I PEED MY PANTS.
276
00:17:57,767 --> 00:18:00,067
- YOU PISSED YOURSELF?
- YEAH, I WAS SCARED, JON.
277
00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:03,067
- JESUS.
- [chuckles]
278
00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:07,203
[lighter ignites]
279
00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:09,433
[laughing]
- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
280
00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:11,867
- I'M BURNING
YOUR MONEY, DICKWEED.
281
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:13,470
- WHY ARE YOU BURNING
MY MONEY, YOU MANIAC?
282
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,330
- I'M NO MANIAC.
I'M PAUL LANCASTER JONES,
283
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,897
THE RICHEST HEDGE FUND
MANAGER IN THE WORLD.
284
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:20,933
- WHAT IS GOING ON?
- YEAH, THIS IS THE BEST
285
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:23,927
POOR FARM WE'VE EVER DONE.
[chuckles]
286
00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:26,367
I NEVER DID DO
AN ABDUCTION BEFORE.
287
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,130
- THAT'S $10,000!
I JUST GOT IT FOR YOU!
288
00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:31,397
- [chuckles]
I'D LOVE TO HANG AROUND
289
00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:35,673
WITH YOU BOYS, BUT
I'VE GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRY.
290
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,600
- HEY, PAUL,
CAN I GET A RIDE WITH YOU?
291
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,073
- SURE THING, TED.
COME ON.
292
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:42,067
- THANKS.
293
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,400
[car door closes]
294
00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:59,297
- HEY.
295
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:02,103
SORRY I DIDN'T GET YOU
THAT TEA.
296
00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:03,433
- [chuckles]
297
00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:05,567
IT'S OKAY, NATHAN.
298
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,770
THE IMPORTANT THING IS...
299
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,430
YOU CAN GET IT FOR ME NOW.
300
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:11,827
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- YEAH, I AM.
301
00:19:11,867 --> 00:19:15,227
JUST...GO TO
THE DINER AND GET IT.
302
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:16,697
- OKAY.
STILL BLACK TEA?
303
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:20,673
- YES, BLACK TEA.
304
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,700
[staticky audio]
305
00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:34,967
EXCUSE ME, SIR?
306
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,597
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
- YEAH.
307
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:39,703
YES.
308
00:19:57,467 --> 00:20:00,467
YES?
309
00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:12,533
IS HE FOCUSING THE CAMERA?
310
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:18,900
- IT'S FOCUSED.
311
00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:31,473
- I WAS JUST REVISITING
THE CORNER WHERE I MET MY WIFE,
312
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,770
WHICH IS A BLOCK FROM HERE.
313
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,830
I MET HER ON THE...
[bell dings]
314
00:20:36,867 --> 00:20:37,927
- OH, WELL,
THANKS VERY MUCH.
315
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:39,097
- OKAY, YOU'RE WELCOME.
316
00:20:43,433 --> 00:20:45,933
- ABSOLUTELY.
317
00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:48,967
Captioning by Captionmax
www.captionmax.com
318
00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:54,927
[jazz music plays]
319
00:20:54,967 --> 00:21:01,067
*
320
00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:19,633
[music stops abruptly]
22459
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