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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,233 --> 00:00:04,773 - TONIGHT ON JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN... 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:08,370 SHOULD THIS MAN GET HIS HOMEMADE WHEELCHAIR GUN BACK? 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,130 THIS IS ALLEGEDLY THE POOREST COMMUNITY IN THE COUNTRY, 4 00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:14,267 SO WHY DON'T THE RESIDENTS WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT IT? 5 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,230 AND A VISIT WITH SHANE COWANS, 6 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:19,827 ONE OF AMERICA'S PREEMINENT JAZZ AIR GUITARISTS. 7 00:00:19,867 --> 00:00:22,827 [jazz music plays] 8 00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:25,867 * 9 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:35,603 ALL THIS AND MORE ON TONIGHT'S JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN. 10 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:38,603 [gripping music] 11 00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:44,433 * 12 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:02,067 HERE WE ARE AT THE HOME OF GREG FUGGS 13 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,497 IN LANCASTER, MONTANA. 14 00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:07,273 IN 2003, HE LOST THE USE OF ALL FOUR LIMBS 15 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,670 BUT HE NEVER LOST HIS LOVE OF SHOOTING GUNS. 16 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:14,100 BUT THEN... TRAGEDY STRUCK. 17 00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,073 - I WANT MY HOMEMADE WHEELCHAIR GUN BACK. 18 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,730 AND I'LL FIGHT AS LONG AS I HAVE TO TO GET IT BACK. 19 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:20,667 - THE WHEELCHAIR GUN HE'S REFERRING TO 20 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,800 IS THIS ONE. 21 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:26,603 [blows air, rapid gunfire] 22 00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,533 IT TOOK GREG FUGGS THREE YEARS 23 00:01:28,567 --> 00:01:30,197 TO CONSTRUCT HIS WHEELCHAIR GUN. 24 00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:32,533 - CUSTOM-MOUNTED TWIN AK-47s. 25 00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:35,627 600 ROUNDS PER MINUTE, EXTRA AMMO, 26 00:01:35,667 --> 00:01:39,327 AND A BREATHING TUBE TO RELEASE THE TRIGGER MECHANISM. 27 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,897 ALL IN ALL, A PRETTY NICE WEAPONS PROFILE 28 00:01:41,933 --> 00:01:43,203 FOR A WHEELCHAIR. 29 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:47,103 BUT IN THE WRONG HANDS, COULD DO A LOT OF DAMAGE. 30 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:49,333 - AND THOSE HANDS TURNED OUT TO BE THIS BOY'S. 31 00:01:49,367 --> 00:01:50,597 NINE-YEAR-OLD LUCAS COLE, 32 00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:53,173 WHO FOUND IT SITTING ON MR. FUGGS' PORCH. 33 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:58,170 - I LEFT IT OUT THERE FOR, LIKE, 20 MINUTES. 34 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,630 - AND THEN WHEN YOU CAME BACK OUT...? 35 00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:01,697 - IT WAS GONE! 36 00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:03,173 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO IT. 37 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,530 - A LOT OF KIDS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD? 38 00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:08,397 - YOU KNOW, I LIKE IT WHEN KIDS COME BY. 39 00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:11,797 - UNFORTUNATELY, SOME KID DID COME BY, 40 00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:13,833 AS SEEN HERE IN THIS REENACTMENT. 41 00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:22,167 [rapid gunfire] 42 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,230 [gunfire continues] 43 00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:29,367 [terrified screams, gunfire] 44 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,430 - AH! 45 00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:36,267 [screams continue, gunfire] 46 00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,803 - JIMMY, ARE YOU OKAY? 47 00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:48,333 [screams] 48 00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:49,567 - BUT JUST WHEN IT SEEMED 49 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,070 THE SHOOTING SPREE WAS GOING TO END, 50 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,297 LUCAS COLE DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE PRIZE 51 00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:59,203 FOR A BOY WHO HAD STOLEN A WHEELCHAIR GUN... 52 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:02,173 - I'LL TELL YOU, I'LL NEVER FORGET THE SOUND. 53 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,470 YOU KNOW... [imitates gunfire] 54 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:09,230 - LUCAS COLE PROCEEDED TO OPEN FIRE ON A MIRROR STORE. 55 00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:12,297 [gunfire, glass shattering] 56 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,670 [screams] 57 00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:29,800 - WELL, I JUST HOPE SOMETHING GOOD CAN COME OUT OF THIS. 58 00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:32,573 - WHAT POSSIBLE GOOD CAN COME OUT OF IT? 59 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,370 - I KNOW, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. 60 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:38,700 BUT PART OF ME CAN'T STOP THINKING WHY ME? 61 00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:40,073 WHY MY MIRROR STORE? 62 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,330 - I KEEP THINKING 63 00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:44,267 THAT WHAT IF THE KID WHO STOLE THE WHEELCHAIR, 64 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,500 IF HE'D COME THIS WAY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY STORE. 65 00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:50,303 MY MIRROR STORE, INSTEAD OF ED'S. 66 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,833 [sighs] 67 00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:53,627 I MEAN, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW, YOU KNOW? 68 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,527 - I MEAN, IT HONESTLY, THAT'S ONE IN A MILLION 69 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:59,567 THAT YOU LEAVE A WHEELCHAIR GUN OUT, AND... 70 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,330 GREG? 71 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,167 - [breathes heavily] 72 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,600 - ARE YOU CRYING? 73 00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:08,403 - [breathes heavily] 74 00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,733 - GREG, ARE YOU CRYING? 75 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,567 - [sighs] - STOP CRYING. 76 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,800 - I LOST MY ARMS AND LEGS, DID YOU LOSE YOUR EYEBALLS, JON? 77 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:18,203 - STOP CRYING. DON'T BE A BABY. 78 00:04:18,233 --> 00:04:20,173 STOP CRYING. 79 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,430 - [sighs] 80 00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:23,897 - YOU GOTTA MAN UP. 81 00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:25,103 - YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WALKED IN HERE, 82 00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:27,433 YOU DIDN'T LOOK LIKE AN [bleep]HOLE. 83 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:31,927 - OH, BUT NOW...? 84 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,297 AND NOW I AM? 85 00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:41,297 EXCUSE ME, SIR, DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? 86 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:44,103 - MAYBE. - OKAY. 87 00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:45,803 ALL RIGHT. 88 00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:48,833 WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? 89 00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:56,533 IT'S ALL YOURS. 90 00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:59,067 YES? 91 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,330 NOT GONNA ASK ME ANYTHING? 92 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,627 EH. 93 00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:04,627 - DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? 94 00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:07,097 - FOR WHAT? 95 00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:10,133 - OKAY, WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH? 96 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:15,130 WHO'S THIS FOR? 97 00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:18,167 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 98 00:05:23,967 --> 00:05:25,297 - [mumbling quietly] - I'M SORRY? 99 00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:28,333 - [mumbling quietly] - HOW CAN I--HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 100 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,830 - [mumbles] 101 00:05:35,867 --> 00:05:37,567 - WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? 102 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,067 - HELLO? 103 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,100 - I'M STANDING HERE AT THE HEART OF THE NEVADA DESERT 104 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,403 JUST 70 MILES NORTH OF LAS VEGAS. 105 00:05:53,433 --> 00:05:56,073 THE LAND I'M STANDING ON HERE IS PUBLIC. 106 00:05:56,067 --> 00:06:00,627 BUT THE LAND BEHIND THIS FENCE IS STRICTLY OFF-LIMITS. 107 00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:02,667 FOR YEARS, RUMORS HAVE BEEN CIRCULATING 108 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,270 ABOUT A TOP SECRET PRIVATE EVENT 109 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:07,330 THAT'S HELD HERE ON THE 12,000 ACRES 110 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,297 OF PRIVATELY-OWNED DESERT BEHIND ME. 111 00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:12,333 MY SHOW HAS JUST OBTAINED DOCUMENTS 112 00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:15,297 THAT REVEAL THE APPALLING TRUTH OF WHAT GOES ON HERE 113 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,433 IN WHAT THE PARTICIPANTS CALL "THE POOR FARM." 114 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,470 FOR ONE WEEK OUT OF EVERY YEAR, 115 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,330 THE WORLD'S 500 WEALTHIEST PEOPLE 116 00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:29,397 GATHER IN THIS METICULOUSLY SIMULATED 117 00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,573 POVERTY-RIDDEN COMMUNITY-- 118 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,170 REPLETE WITH TRAILER PARKS, 119 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,270 SUBSIDIZED HOUSING TOWERS, AND TENT CITIES. 120 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,170 AND FOR SEVERAL MILLION DOLLARS, 121 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,170 EACH ONE OF THEM GETS TO REVEL IN PRETENDING 122 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,070 THEY ARE THE POOREST OF THE POOR. 123 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,497 SO TELL ME ABOUT THE POOR FARM. 124 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,533 - I'VE BEEN THERE. I DROVE IN THEIR SUPPLIES. 125 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:53,267 - MM-HMM. - THEY GOT THEMSELVES 126 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,170 A WHOLE CRAPPY CITY OVER THERE. 127 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:59,100 THEY GOT, LIKE, PROJECTS, AND, LIKE, SEVEN ARBY'S, 128 00:06:59,133 --> 00:07:03,273 AND BOARDED-UP DINERS AND INTERNET CAFES. 129 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,330 - SO WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN? 130 00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,627 - MY DADDY KILLING HIMSELF. 131 00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:10,827 - NO, I MEAN ON THE POOR FARM. 132 00:07:10,867 --> 00:07:15,267 - OH, TWO GUYS TAKING A [bleep] ON A BUS. 133 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,070 - THAT IS PRETTY NASTY. 134 00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:18,427 - YES, IT WAS. 135 00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:21,127 - YOU MAY ASSUME THAT THIS IS A PHOTO OF A HOMELESS MAN 136 00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:24,427 ON THE STREET OF SOME RANDOM AMERICAN URBAN LANDSCAPE. 137 00:07:24,467 --> 00:07:26,897 BUT THIS MAN IS CARLOS ALVAREZ, 138 00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:29,573 ARGENTINEAN TELECOMMUNICATIONS MOGUL. 139 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:34,070 NET WORTH... 140 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:36,067 THESE TWO ARE NOT YOUR EVERYDAY LAYABOUTS 141 00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,827 DRINKING ALL DAY IN A DILAPIDATED PUBLIC PARK. 142 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:42,227 THEY ARE JASON FEINMAN, RETAIL CONGLOMERATE CEO, 143 00:07:42,267 --> 00:07:44,967 AND CHARLES WHITWORTH, OIL BARON, 144 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:47,597 WORTH SOME $3 BILLION IN ASSETS. 145 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,473 - I USED TO GO A LOT. 146 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,330 IT WAS A ROUGH WEEK. 147 00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:55,297 I MADE $7 AN HOUR WORKING IN AN ALL-NIGHT GAS STATION. 148 00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,303 LIVED IN A 10X12 APARTMENT 149 00:07:57,333 --> 00:08:02,633 WITH RATS, AND ROACHES, AND BED BUGS, AND CONCRETE WALLS. 150 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,327 - SOUNDS AWFUL. 151 00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:08,327 - [chuckles] NO, IT WAS FANTASTIC. 152 00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:10,567 THE BEST PART WAS GOING HOME. 153 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,100 SEEING THE DIFFERENCE. 154 00:08:12,133 --> 00:08:15,103 OH, THAT AND... AND THE TIME 155 00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:17,633 ME AND ROGER GUGGENHEIM TOOK [bleep] ON A BUS. 156 00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,367 - [chuckles] I THINK I HEARD ABOUT THAT. 157 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,900 YEAH. - YEAH, WELL... 158 00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,933 THERE WAS SOMEONE WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME. 159 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,300 - BECAUSE THERE'S BEEN NO FOOTAGE EVER RECORDED 160 00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,073 OF THE ACTUAL POOR FARM ITSELF-- 161 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,067 EXCEPT A COUPLE FUZZY SNAPSHOTS, 162 00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,727 WE'VE ACQUIRED THE LOCATION 163 00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:37,767 OF THE SECRET ENTRANCE POINT, AND... 164 00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,167 GUYS, THE VAN JUST STALLED. 165 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,670 - WHAT? - WE OUT OF GAS? 166 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:43,970 - NO, IT WAS A FULL TANK. 167 00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,067 [scoffs] 168 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,597 - DID YOU LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON? 169 00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:49,173 - NO, I DIDN'T LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON. 170 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,800 DID YOU? - WELL, TRY IT. 171 00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:52,473 TRY IT AGAIN. 172 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,530 - NATHAN? - YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD. 173 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,497 - NO, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT VANS? 174 00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:59,133 - WHAT, NO-- WHAT? 175 00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:01,227 - THE VAN IS DEAD. 176 00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:05,603 SO YOU GUYS NOW HAVE TOUCHED EVERYTHING IN THE ENGINE, 177 00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:08,473 AND YOU BOTH KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ENGINES, RIGHT? 178 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,530 LEO, YOU WANNA CHECK THE OIL AGAIN? 179 00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:13,067 - IS THAT WHAT THAT IS? - [sniffs] 180 00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,067 - JUST CALL A TOW TRUCK. 181 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:17,397 I GOT NO BARS. YOU GOT ANYTHING? 182 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,073 - NO RECEPTION. - I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. 183 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,730 - NATHAN? - I DON'T HAVE A PHONE. 184 00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,067 - YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE? 185 00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:26,227 - I SKYPE. - OH, MY GOD. 186 00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,497 WELL, I MEAN, WE'RE COMPLETELY SCREWED, RIGHT? 187 00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:29,973 SO WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, 188 00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:31,497 70 MILES FROM ANYTHING. 189 00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,503 OH. 190 00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:36,103 THERE'S A TRUCK. 191 00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:39,133 HEY. 192 00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,967 - OH, GEEZ, THANK GOD. 193 00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,367 - THANKS FOR STOPPING. 194 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,270 - HEY, YOU FELLAS LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE A HAND. 195 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,200 - OH, OUR VAN BROKE DOWN. 196 00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,333 - WELL, THIS AIN'T THE BEST PLACE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. 197 00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:56,597 - NO. NOT AT ALL. 198 00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:59,333 - YOU GUYS MAKING A MOVIE OR SOMETHING? 199 00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:01,467 - OH. A TV SHOW. 200 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,870 JUST SHOOTING A SEGMENT FOR IT AROUND HERE. 201 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:06,730 - WELL, BIG SHOTS! 202 00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:09,227 - NO, NO. NO, NOT REALLY. 203 00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:11,267 I MEAN, ME, A LITTLE BIT. 204 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,430 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I CAN DO. 205 00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:15,527 TEN MILES UP THE ROAD HERE, THERE'S A LITTLE DINER. 206 00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,127 IT'S GOT A PAYPHONE. 207 00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,067 MAKE A CALL AND GET YOURSELF A TOW TRUCK. 208 00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,130 - THAT'S PERFECT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 209 00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:23,267 - YOU GOT IT. - UM... 210 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,870 - NATHAN, WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH HIM? 211 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,170 - [speaks indistinctly] 212 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,130 - GO CALL THE TOW TRUCK AT THE DINER. 213 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,197 - THAT'D BE PERFECT. JUST HOP ON UP IN THERE, BUBBA. 214 00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:33,233 - THANKS AGAIN. - NO SWEAT. 215 00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:35,467 I HOPE YOU GUYS GET FIXED UP REAL QUICK. 216 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,930 - I HOPE SO TOO. IT'S NASTY OUT HERE, HUH? 217 00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:40,167 HE'S GONNA BE FINE, RIGHT? 218 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,530 - YEAH, HE SEEMED ALL RIGHT. 219 00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:44,067 - I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE. 220 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,230 OH, HOLD ON. 221 00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:47,297 NATHAN? 222 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,103 - YEAH. - GET ME A TEA AT THE DINER? 223 00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:51,003 - A TEA? - YES, A TEA. 224 00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:53,003 - AH! - BLACK TEA. 225 00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:54,533 - BLACK TEA? - YEAH, GET A RECEIPT. 226 00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:56,267 GET A RECEIPT. - BLACK TEA, NO-- 227 00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,770 NO MILK, NO SUGAR. - OKAY. 228 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,570 - JUST PLAIN, OKAY? - BYE. 229 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,700 - WE'LL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK, NATHAN! 230 00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,703 BYE! 231 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:11,973 [audio crackling] 232 00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:16,227 [silence] 233 00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:46,467 - PREVIOUSLY ON JON BENJAMIN HAS A VAN... 234 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,600 - WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, 235 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,333 70 MILES FROM ANYTHING. 236 00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,067 YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE? - I SKYPE. 237 00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:54,067 - HEY, YOU FELLAS LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE A HAND. 238 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,167 - OUR VAN BROKE DOWN. 239 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,930 NATHAN, WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH HIM? 240 00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:58,567 BYE! [audio crackling] 241 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,597 [phone clicks] 242 00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:03,933 [distantly] HELLO? 243 00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:07,897 - WELL, I SEE YOU MADE IT TO THE DINER. 244 00:15:07,933 --> 00:15:10,403 - WHERE IS MY SOUND GUY? 245 00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,573 - NATHAN'S FINE. HE'S WITH ME. 246 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,300 - WHERE'S MY SOUND GUY? 247 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:15,433 - TAKE IT EASY, SON. 248 00:15:15,467 --> 00:15:18,097 YOU WANT YOUR SOUND BACK, YOU GOTTA PAY. 249 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:21,133 YOU HOLLYWOOD GUYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. 250 00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,667 - YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS. 251 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,070 - [chuckles] I AM GETTING AWAY WITH IT. 252 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:26,527 HERE'S HOW IT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 253 00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,067 YOU'RE GONNA GET ME $10,000, YOU'RE GONNA BRING IT 254 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,070 TO THE OLD ABANDONED MOTEL UP THE ROAD. 255 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:34,797 YOU HAVE ONE HOUR OR THE SOUND GUY DIES. 256 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,573 - WHAT? ONE HOUR? 257 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,730 HOW AM I GONNA GET $10,000 IN ONE HOUR? 258 00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,697 - YOUR HOUR STARTS NOW. 259 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:42,773 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 260 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,070 NO-- [phone clicks] 261 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:19,073 [beeping] [staticky audio] 262 00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,767 - JUMP ON OUT OF THE TRUCK. 263 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,530 STAY CLOSE TO ME. 264 00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:27,633 ALL RIGHT. 265 00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:29,467 COME ON, NATHAN. 266 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,070 STAY REAL CLOSE. 267 00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,227 MAKE SURE THEY GOT EVERYTHING. 268 00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:36,867 YOU GOT THE MONEY? - RIGHT HERE. 269 00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:38,900 - REAL SLOW. 270 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,933 TOSS IT OVER. 271 00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,197 - NOW GIVE US OUR SOUND GUY. 272 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,233 - LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOOD TO GO, NATHAN. 273 00:17:52,533 --> 00:17:54,903 - IT'S OKAY. 274 00:17:54,933 --> 00:17:56,073 WHY ARE YOU ALL WET? 275 00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:57,727 - BECAUSE I PEED MY PANTS. 276 00:17:57,767 --> 00:18:00,067 - YOU PISSED YOURSELF? - YEAH, I WAS SCARED, JON. 277 00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:03,067 - JESUS. - [chuckles] 278 00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:07,203 [lighter ignites] 279 00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:09,433 [laughing] - HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 280 00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:11,867 - I'M BURNING YOUR MONEY, DICKWEED. 281 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:13,470 - WHY ARE YOU BURNING MY MONEY, YOU MANIAC? 282 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,330 - I'M NO MANIAC. I'M PAUL LANCASTER JONES, 283 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,897 THE RICHEST HEDGE FUND MANAGER IN THE WORLD. 284 00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:20,933 - WHAT IS GOING ON? - YEAH, THIS IS THE BEST 285 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:23,927 POOR FARM WE'VE EVER DONE. [chuckles] 286 00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:26,367 I NEVER DID DO AN ABDUCTION BEFORE. 287 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,130 - THAT'S $10,000! I JUST GOT IT FOR YOU! 288 00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:31,397 - [chuckles] I'D LOVE TO HANG AROUND 289 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:35,673 WITH YOU BOYS, BUT I'VE GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRY. 290 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,600 - HEY, PAUL, CAN I GET A RIDE WITH YOU? 291 00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,073 - SURE THING, TED. COME ON. 292 00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:42,067 - THANKS. 293 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,400 [car door closes] 294 00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:59,297 - HEY. 295 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:02,103 SORRY I DIDN'T GET YOU THAT TEA. 296 00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:03,433 - [chuckles] 297 00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:05,567 IT'S OKAY, NATHAN. 298 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,770 THE IMPORTANT THING IS... 299 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,430 YOU CAN GET IT FOR ME NOW. 300 00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:11,827 - ARE YOU SERIOUS? - YEAH, I AM. 301 00:19:11,867 --> 00:19:15,227 JUST...GO TO THE DINER AND GET IT. 302 00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:16,697 - OKAY. STILL BLACK TEA? 303 00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:20,673 - YES, BLACK TEA. 304 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,700 [staticky audio] 305 00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:34,967 EXCUSE ME, SIR? 306 00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,597 DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? - YEAH. 307 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:39,703 YES. 308 00:19:57,467 --> 00:20:00,467 YES? 309 00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:12,533 IS HE FOCUSING THE CAMERA? 310 00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:18,900 - IT'S FOCUSED. 311 00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:31,473 - I WAS JUST REVISITING THE CORNER WHERE I MET MY WIFE, 312 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,770 WHICH IS A BLOCK FROM HERE. 313 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,830 I MET HER ON THE... [bell dings] 314 00:20:36,867 --> 00:20:37,927 - OH, WELL, THANKS VERY MUCH. 315 00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:39,097 - OKAY, YOU'RE WELCOME. 316 00:20:43,433 --> 00:20:45,933 - ABSOLUTELY. 317 00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:48,967 Captioning by Captionmax www.captionmax.com 318 00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:54,927 [jazz music plays] 319 00:20:54,967 --> 00:21:01,067 * 320 00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:19,633 [music stops abruptly] 22459

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